Original subtitles

Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group and U.S. department of education

[Alarm beeps]

[Cock-a-doodle-doo]

[Cock-a-doodle-doo]

[Yawn]

Time to get up.

Ah, sweet floor.

[Kiss]

So, what is on the agenda for today?

Carnival! Carnival!

Mom!

Kids!

More eggs, dear?

Honey, your eggs are De--

carnival! Carnival!

[Bang]

[Bang]

[Bang]

Uh-oh.

Dad, you forgot Dexter's phone books again.

Dexter, it--it was a simple mistake.

I--i had to look up a number for your mother.

It's her fault, not mine!

Why, I...I--

[grumbling]

What did he say?

He said, "just forget it."

Whew! Whew!

Oh, I am so excited.

This carnival's really going to be a hoot.

Dad: It sure is. And that super-fast new ride,

uh...what's it called again?

It's called--

it's called "the thing," and it's creepy!

Dexter, from far away: Did you know

it took 3 billion individual nuts and bolts to--

and I justlove Ferris wheels.

And funnel cakes. Mmm! That's good eatin'.

[Doorbell rings]

Dexter: I'll get it.

Mailman!

Got some mail!

I can take that.

Huh? What? Who said that?

I heard a voice, but I do not know from where it came.

Next stop...

All: Carnival!

Dad: Hey, why don't we play a game to pass the time?

Ok, ok! Let's play "I spy."

I spy, with my little eye, something...Brown.

Guess, Dexter.

Car door?

No.

Sky?

Nope.

I give up.

Dee Dee: Cows.

Oh.

Dad, are we almost there?

Not yet, son. We won't be there for at least another...

Oh, no!

Wait. We're here.

But, dad, do we have to do that first?

It's so degrading.

Nonsense. It's family fun, Dexter.

And it's the only game Dee Dee ever wants to play.

Yeah! Come on, Dexter.

Aw, man.

Come on, folks,

toss your brother!

Win cheaply made stuffed toys. You can't lose.

Who's next?

Me!

Oh, I don't like this part.

Hold still, will ya? I'm aiming.

[Crash]

Hey, direct hit! Good job, Dee Dee.

Here's your prize, young lady.

Isn't family fun great?

Oh, yeah.

Ah, cheer up, little Dexter.

I couldn't have won a "my sparkly unicorn" without you.

And without a blockhead like yours,

I'd have to carry it around all day.

Dee Dee, stop using your brother as a table.

Yes, sir.

Look! It's...It's...

The thing!

10,000 tons of steel! 20 million nuts and bolts!

Speeds up to 9,000 miles per hour!

Total estimated riding time:

7...

Seconds.

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Kids: Let's get in line!

Dear, do you think it's safe?

Of course, honey.

There's no safer rides than carnival rides.

[Screaming]

We're next!

Ok, how many in your party? 3?

4.

Uh, doesn't he look a little small for this ride?

We're here to have family fun!

No, sir. You don't understand.

The kid is too little!

Family fun?

Child...too...small.

Uh...

Ok, let me show you.

Your son is too short to ride "the thing."

I am too little to do anything.

Mom and dad and Dee Dee are all riding "the thing,"

and I'm waiting in this stupid petting zoo.

I wish I was taller.

Wait a minute!

I'm a genius, and I've got a lab!

I will be tall!

[Screaming]

[Cock-a-doodle-doo]

Well, hello, knees!

[Doorbell rings]

Ah, you must be the man of the house.

You're darn tootin'.

I can't believe dad let you borrow his car!

Me neither.

For a dad, he can be pretty hip.

[Tires screech]

Ah, conquest.

Come on, I can see the line.

Jeepers!

Ah! 275 minutes in line!

Hey, Dexter! Looks like we're next!

Dexter?

Oh, boy, oh, boy! We're next!

Dexter: I'm on top of the worl--

This is the greatest day of my entire life!

[Beep]

[Beep]

[Series of beeps]

Dexter: Yes!

Energy force activated.

Now to increase modulation fluctuation.

Perfect!

Now to open and enhance the compostulating amplitudinators.

Yes!

Exact frequency attained!

Now for the final component...

The nuclear core!

At last! It is complete!

Now,

for the ultimate test.

At last!

The ultimate reading lamp.

Ah!

The perfect book with which to test

the ultimate reading lamp.

Now, time for ultimate relaxation.

What is wrong?

What could have happened?

Everything was perfect!

Everything is in working order,

from the dilateral maltriculators

to the extemporaneal outlet,

right down to the nuclear core.

Huh?

[Dee Dee's voice]

Dee Dee!

She does not realize the danger she has caused!

If I do not retrieve the nuclear core in one hour,

it will melt down, causing a chain reaction

which will destroy the earth!

And I won't be able to read my book!

No time to waste!

[Skidding]

[Dexter reading]

Computer,

analyze clue and find solution.

Computer: Apple, cherry, blueberry, r squared.

Pi is r squared, if you remember your calculus.

And apple, cherry, and blueberry are flavors.

Dexter: Of course! Mother is baking pies today.

Hmm...which pie holds the next clue?

Mom: Dexter!

Yipe!

Ah.

If you wanted some pie, honey,

all you had to do was ask.

Which flavor do you want?

One of each, mother.

That way I can find the next clue for sure.

[Chomp]

My, you were hungry.

I hope you have room for dinner.

We're having pot pie!

Oh! I have eaten all the pie, and still no clue!

[Dexter reading]

Ah! The next clue!

Oh! Ugh!

[Sloshing]

[Panting]

How much time left?

I must get the next clue,

even if it means knocking on the door

of the dreaded touchy-feely neighbor lady!

Oh, hi there!

You are so cute!

You're getting so big!

Heh heh.

Thank you, ma'am

now, you just come on in and have a seat

and I'll get you some yummy cookies!

Ah, actually, I'd rather have a nuclear reactor core,

if you happen to have one lying around.

[Laughing obnoxiously]

You kids are so funny!

Andso cute!

I'll be right back.

I must get the next clue!

Maybe it's in the kitchen!

[Humming]

Whoops!

Clumsy me.

[Dexter reading clue]

Ha! That's it!

Father's trophy.

The prized swordfish.

I must take great care not to damage the fish.

I will have to use a delicate touch

so as not to harm the next clue.

Eureka!

Dad: Come on in here, Phil, and I'll show you

my prized swordfish.

Well, I caught him off the coast of Florida.

Yes, he put up quite a fight,

but I won out in the end.

Hey, come on in here,

and I'll show you my glow-in-the-dark chess game.

Dexter: Whew!

Hmm.

Ptooey!

[Dee Dee's voice]

At last! The final clue!

Dare I enter the dreaded booby trapped no man's land?

2 minutes left.

Let's do it!

Stay out of the light!

Close but not close enough, Dee Dee.

Huh?

No!

Cooties!

[Screaming]

Hmm.

Whew!

No!

[Screaming]

Just in time!

[Sigh]

Once again, my enormous intellect has triumphed.

Now I can test my new lamp

and read my book in--

no! The book is gone!

How can--

huh?

Dee Dee: Dear Dexter,

if you want to get your book back,

just follow the clues.

No!

Dee Dee!

Dee Dee, I heard this great joke!

[Laughing]

Ok, here it goes.

A physics professor and his assistant

were working on liberating negatively charged hydroxyl ions,

when all of a sudden, the assistant says,

"wait, professor! What if the salicylic acids don't accept the hydroxyl ion?"

And the professor responds,

"that's no hydroxyl ion. That's my wife!"

[Laughing]

[Maniacal laughter]

Yes! Yes!

At last, my greatest creation is...

Completed!

With the untainted energy within this sphere,

I will be able to power

the universe!

Echoing: The universe! The universe!

Oh, boy! He's at it again!

Don't worry. His sister will come by later

and ruin everything.

You said it, brother.

Mom: Dexter!

Breakfast is ready!

But first,

I got to get me some grub!

Here you go, honey.

Now, eat everything on your plate,

and remember, it's flu season.

If you don't keep up your strength,

you can catch a...A...

[Ah-choo]

Eew! Germs!

Whoa, son. Where's the fire?

[Coughing]

Too much exertion breaks down your reserve.

[Coughing]

Slow down there, partner.

It's flu season, you know.

Hi, Dexter.

I think I may be coming down with something.

[Ah-choo]

[Laughing sickly]

Ah!

Stay away from me!

Dee Dee: But, Dexter, I was looking for my hanky.

I kind of need it.

But I don't know where it is.

Oh, I think I left it in your lab.

The lab!

Computer,

complete biological and molecular spectrum examination

of entire laboratory.

Computer: Searching.

Entire laboratory has germ infestation.

Quickly, computer, engage antibacterial environmental bubble!

Computer: System engaged.

Must decontaminate the lab.

Computer: Warning! Warning!

Incoming germ manifestation

approaching fast!

Dexter, I'm serious.

I need to find my hanky.

Ah...ah...ah...

[Ah-choo]

Oh!

Computer, fire fungus fighters!

Computer: Activated.

Ah...

Computer, fire second wave!

Ah...

[Ah-choo]

I got to find my hanky.

Hanky! Where are you?

Hanky!

Dexter: Dee Dee!

Hanky!

Dee Dee, you take your revolting germs

and get out of my laboratory.

You are infecting my whole lab.

[Ah-choo]

[Ding ding ding ding]

[Clanging]

Hanky!

[Ah-choo]

Oh...

Eww.

[Dee Dee sneezing repeatedly]

Hanky!

Ah...ah...

[Ah-choo]

[Sniffs]

[Ah-choo]

Dexter, you got to help me find my hanky.

[Ah-choo]

Huh?

I got to save my lab!

[Ah-choo]

Can't reach! Bubble blocking!

Ooh!

Huh?

Ooh!

Ah...

No!

[Ah-choo]

Hey, look!

I found my hanky!

Ah...ah...

[Ah-choo]

Hanky?

[Sniffling]

Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group and U.S. department of education

enter at your own peril,

past the vaulted door

where impossible things may happen

that the world's never seen before.

♪ In Dexter's laboratory

♪ lives the smartest boy

♪ you've ever seen

♪ but Dee Dee blows his experiments ♪

♪ to smithereens

♪ there is gloom and doom

♪ while things go boom

♪ in Dexter's lab

captioning performed by the national captioning institute, inc.

Public performance of captions prohibited without permission of national captioning institute

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