Original subtitles

Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group and U.S. department of education

Dexter's mother: Dexter, Dexter honey?

Dexter: Yes?

Oh, I'm sorry. You're reading.

Yes.

Oh, you just look so cute

in your little story corner.

Dexter, I came to ask you a little favor.

Yes?

Your sister's feeling a little puny.

Seems she caught a little bug.

So, I was thinking

it might make Dee Dee feel a lot better

if you went and read your book with her.

What?! If she has got the creeping crud, count me out!

I'm not going nowhere near

that infectious, plague-ridden sack of cooties.

Dexter!

Well, I don't want to get it on me.

[Angrily] Be nice and read a story

to your sick sister!

Dearest Dee Dee is ill, you say?

I must away to her bedside

to comfort her in her time of need.

[Breathing echoing]

Dexter, is that you?

I have come to read to you during your incapacitation.

Really? Dexter, that's so sweet!

[Snort]

Uh-huh. Now let's get this over with.

You silly, you need to come up here with me.

Aah!

Now I want you to be all comfy cozy

because you're the bestest brother I ever had.

Ooh! I love you so very, very much!

Aah! Whew.

Comfy?

Comfy?! I have been contaminated!

I got to get the heck--

back to reading this whimsical fable

to my precious sister.

Let's see now. Ah, yes.

"Once upon a time, a remarkable amount of information

"was deciphered from photos taken with a spectrograph.

"The dark fraunhofer lines in stellar and solar spectra

"are caused by low-pressure gases

"in the upper layers of the sun and stars,

absorbing discrete wavelengths."

[Plop]

Hey, hey, hey! Sleep time is over. Story time is now!

I'm sorry. You just read all boring-style.

Here, why don't you let me show you how to read a story?

[Clears throat]

"Once upon a time, there was a pretty little girl

"that everyone loved named

"Dee Dee locks!

"Dee Dee locks was on her way to grandma's house,

"so she decided to take a shortcut through the dike.

"As she skipped along the lake bed,

"she came across a little cottage.

"This seemed like a nice place to take a nap,

"so she went in,

"tried the bed, but it was too hot.

"She tried the chair,

"but it was too cold.

"Then she tried the porridge. It was just right!

Just then the residents of the cottage came home."

[Scottish accent] Hey, somebody's been sleeping in my bed.

[Scottish accent] Someone's been sleeping in my chair!

Someone's been sleeping in my porridge,

and she's still here.

"So, the monster ate her, and she was very sweet!"

Mmm. Mmm.

"Inside the monster's tummy, Dee Dee locks met 3 pigs:

"A straw pig, a stick pig, and a brick pig.

"These pigs were very glad to see Dee Dee locks

"and wondered if she could help them escape.

"Dee Dee locks thought and got a great idea.

"She let the pigs braid a rope out of her long golden locks,

which they used to climb down out of the monster."

Hey, haggis, you got something dripping out your chanter.

Oh, my!

[Bleat]

Aah! What was that?

Ooh, excuse me.

[Dutch accent] Yes, excuse you very much for eating us.

Dee Dee, voice-over: "The monster apologized and introduced themselves."

We're the ness monster. I'm silly-ness.

This is grumpy-ness...

Harrumph.

And that's sleepy-ness.

[Knocking]

"Suddenly, there was a knock at the door."

I'll get it.

[Inhales deeply]

[Groans]

"Then a second knock on the door."

[Inhales deeply]

"And a third knock on the door."

[Inhales deeply]

[Inhales deeply]

[French accent] Ok, I can't keep up this huffing and the puffing, huh?

I blow his block off unless you can guess my name.

Uh, uh, the little bad wolf.

Thewhat

the small bad?

[Growls]

The medium?

[Growls]

The big...

Ah.

Bad wolf?

Ha ha ha.

Ja? Everyone, it's

thebig

stop!

This is ridiculous. I don't even know what's going on.

There's no kind of structure, no plot.

Ah, i'm getting to it.

So, anyhow...

"Everyone was a-rub-a-dub-dubbing in a tub when...

"A magic goldfish jumped out of the sea

"with some magic beans he wanted to trade."

Ja? The only thing we could trade

is that bad wolf.

I say, he's a big bad wolf,

isn't he?

It's a deal. Here are the beans.

"The goldfish thanked them and went on his way."

Finally, some beans.

"The ness monster swallowed the beans..."

[Stomach rumbling]

"And spit up a magic lamp.

"And when Dee Dee locks rubbed it, a beanstalk started to grow.

"It grew and grew, high into the sky.

"They climbed the stalk up to the tops of the clouds,

"where they found a giant boot.

"They went in to see if there was anything to eat,

"but what they didn't know was that this was the home of the 3 blind mice,

"3 giant bone-crunching, marrow-sucking blind mice."

Fee, fi, fo, fum.

I smell the blood of something I'm going to eat.

Aah!

[Growls]

[Grunts]

Dee Dee, voice-over: "Dee Dee locks

"decided now was a good time to use her magic powers,

"so she told a lie."

Ja, I ate an elephant sandwich.

"And her ears began to grow."

Ja, I visit my brother's lab purely for its educational value.

"And they kept on growing.

"Then everyone jumped on her back and took off.

"And so, the brick pig, Dee Dee locks, and the ness monster

"flew away happily ever after over the rainbow.

The end."

Thank you so much for reading me that wonderful story.

I feel so much better.

[Playing bagpipes]

[Teeth chattering]

Dexter: At last,

I have discovered a way to shorten the suffering

of those long family road trips trapped in the car with Dee Dee.

By blasting the car with antimatter,

it can accelerate to near light speed,

shortening the trip to an increment of time

so small...

Even I could stand to be around Dee Dee that long.

And just in time, too.

It's sunrise.

The family road trip begins in 3 hours.

Dad's car--

the gilded cage.

My antimatter will transform this simple vehicle.

It consists of antiparticles,

with positron-surrounded nuclei

composed of antiprotons and antineutrons.

It will allow the car

to travel an infinite number of universes simultaneously,

or in other words, really, really fast.

[Buzzing]

[Gasps]

Don't you realize the dangers of antimatter?

[Buzzing]

If you were touching the car

when the antimatter touched the car,

who knows what might have happened?

Do not interfere with my experiments again!

The coast is clear.

Dee Dee: Dexter,

have you seen my Dolly? Maybe I left her in the car.

Dee Dee!

No!

[Humming]

Dee Dee?

Dee Dee, where are you?

Dee Dee: Right here.

Where here?

Here here.

I don't see you.

[Click]

[Engine starts] Uh-oh.

Dexter: I think

Dee Dee's become thecar!

Ah! My experiment has gone horribly wrong.

You must stop at once, Dee Dee.

I demand that you let me out.

Dee Dee: No. This is fun.

Whee!

[Dee Dee laughs]

[Groans]

[Dee Dee chuckling]

If we are not home

when mom and dad want to go on the road trip,

you are going to get into a lot of trouble.

I don't care. Sit down and be quiet!

I know. Let's listen to some music.

No, Dee Dee, not the girly station.

Please, anything but that.

There it is. [Pop music playing]

No!

Dee Dee: Horsies!

[Bell ringing]

Dee Dee: Wait for me!

A hundred bucks both ways on the car!

Dee Dee: Ice cream man! Ice cream man!

[Smack]

Beep beep!

Mr. Ice cream man, wait!

I want a chocolate vanilla fudge swirl sundae.

You are a car, Dee Dee. Remember?

You don't even have a mouth.

You just want it all to yourself.

[Tires screech]

[Tires screech]

[Tires screech]

[Smack]

Dee Dee: Ooh, a fair!

[Teeth chattering]

Dee Dee: Whee!

Aah!

Help!

Dee Dee: Whee!

[Dee Dee laughing]

Woo!

Look, Dexter, toys!

Please, can we go down now?

I don't feel so good.

[Stomach grumbling]

Sure! Aah!

[Dexter moaning]

Stop!

Dee Dee: I want one of those and 3 of those.

Please, Dee Dee, we have to get home.

Dad will be furious with us.

No more ballet lessons.

[Tires screech]

Ok.

[Siren]

Dexter: Oh, no. We are being chased by the coppers.

[Yawns]

Rise and shine, honey.

It's Sunday, and it's almost time

for the family road trip.

What if dad finds out about this?

Dee Dee, go faster. Don't pull over, no matter what.

But, Dexter, we'll get arrested!

That is nothing compared to what dad will do

if he finds out. We'll be grounded for weeks.

Honey, I am making extra sandwiches

in case the kids get hungry.

Father: Good idea, muffin.

Mmm. Pepperoni and jelly--my favorite.

[Sirens]

Dee Dee, you are almost out of gas.

There is only 5 minutes left before the road trip.

[Panting]

Oh, too late. It is 9:00.

Father: There you are, Dexter.

[Gulp]

You just can't wait for our trip, can you?

But--but, dad, I have to explain.

The antimatter and then Dee Dee

and then the car and there was a big flash and then--

Dexter, have you seen your sister?

It's time we got going.

But that is what I have been trying to tell you!

She's in the car.

Well, good. You hop in, too,

and we'll take off.

[Guns being cocked]

All right, everyone, come on out with your hands up.

[Pop]

[Pop]

[Gurgling]

[Pop]

Ouch!

Excuse me. I guess I wasn't out ofgas

hee hee.

[Dexter laughs]

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

Ah. Time now for a nice sit.

Hey, what do I look like, a chair?

No. "I" looks likethis.

Hi, Dexter!

[Whispering] Dee Dee, what are you doing here?

I gots me a book on ponies!

Want to see?

[Whispering] I have no time for pretty ponies.

I am reading for science. Now beat it.

What?!

Dee Dee, will you stop being so loud,

and get your book and get lost?

What?! Speak up!

Dee Dee, will you quit yelling?

This is a library. You must keep quiet.

Now, Dee Dee,

the head librarian is checking out books today.

So you please show some respect. Keep your yap shut.

Oh, yeah? Well, why should I?!

Because, Dee Dee, I have a reputation to uphold.

For, you see, I have been the library patron of the month...

For the past 12 months.

So if you would just shut up, clam up, button your lip,

close your cake-hole, and please be quiet,

everything will be hunky-dory, ok? Now come on.

Ok!

[Whistles]

Dexter: Here are my selections for today, miss l.

My, my, Dexter, what a big stack you have.

Why, Dexter, you're quite the little scholar.

Ah, shucks.

Oh, brother.

Miss l: You know, if you keep this reading up,

you'll be the patron of the month all of next year, too.

I don't think even Einstein himself

was such an avid reader as you, Dexter.

No television and donuts for you.

I bet it's just all study, study, study day and night.

Well, Dexter, I think you're all set. There you go.

Thank you, miss l. Come on, Dee Dee.

Hey, Dex, there's no pictures in this book.

Dee Dee, come on!

But you forgot to-- Dee Dee!

You forgot to check out!

Move it or lose it, sister!

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

[Yawns]

Hey, Dexter! Here's a book you forgot!

Why, thank you, Dee Dee.

Ah, more learning material.

Oh!

No stamp!

This book has been illegally checked out.

Oh, Dexter, how could you?

Your actions have brought shame upon this library.

For this, you shall be punished!

You're banned

from the library...

Forever!

Aah!

Deflected!

It's awfully hot where you're going, Dexter.

[Slap]

[Laughing]

Welcome to library heck.

Ha ha ha...

The book must be returned.

Just do it!

Vision goggles, bibliograph,

ultra-suction grappler.

[Thunder]

Are you quite finished?

Now I'm going in.

You just lower me down on this rope,

and I'll return the book.

Remember, this is a library mission, so keep quiet.

Okey-dokey!

[Sighs]

Hold this.

Fat porkster.

Ooh.

Dee Dee?

Pretty.

Dee Dee?

[Thud]

[Humming]

[Beeping]

[Chuckling]

[Whistling]

Whew.

Hi!

Ah! How did you-- what? How'd you get--

that's it! I've had it with your monkey business.

But--

quiet!

[Dexter's voice echoing]

Computer, quietly: Warning. Noise level exceeded.

Oops.

Intruders.

Sic 'em, boys.

Cripes. Run!

[Whistles]

[Growls]

Dexter: Yep, just books.

Judge us only by looks

because we're just plain old books.

I think we lost them.

Dexter, I'm tired of this game.

I quit playing.

Quit? What do you mean quit?

It is too late for quitsies now, woman. We must fight.

[Groans]

Dee Dee: Hey, librarian, we quit. You win!

Dexter: Traitor!

What? Why, Dee Dee,

thank you for apprehending

your loudmouth brother.

I see good things in your future.

And as for you, mister Dexter...

[Growling]

Dexter: "...And so after prince goodheart

"asked mean Mr. Grumpster to leave nicely,

everyone in snuggleville gave each other a warm, fuzzy hug."

The end." Blechh.

Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group and U.S. department of education

enter at your own peril

past the vaulted door

where impossible things may happen

that the world's never seen before.

♪ In Dexter's laboratory ♪

♪ lives the smartest boy ♪

♪ you've ever seen ♪

♪ but Dee Dee blows ♪

♪ his experiments ♪

♪ to smithereens ♪

♪ there is gloom and doom ♪

♪ while things go boom ♪

♪ in Dexter's lab ♪

Captioning performed by the national captioning institute, inc.

Public performance of captions prohibited without permission of national captioning institute

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