Original subtitles

What is wrong with this machine?

Come on.

It's been 10 minutes, and I have had no alien contact!

Hi, Dexter!

Can you get miss Brenda some sugar for her tea?

Sure. One lump or 2? Huh?

Dee Dee, what are you doing

inside of my alien communicator?

I'm having a tea party, you silly.

Will you get out of my machine?!

Fine.

Miss Brenda doesn't like you, anyway.

Now let us see if this thing will work.

Hooray! The aliens have landed! The aliens have landed!

Welcome to Dexter's laboratory.

Well, what do you think?

[Speaking alien language]

Oh, wait a second.

I forgot to use my audio translator.

Ok. Ready to go.

As you can see,

only a human with an ingenious I.Q. Like myself

could have built such a spectacle of science.

I'm sorry, but here in the lab,

we give each other 3 feet of personal space.

You will come with us, human, for further examination.

Yipe!

Hi!

Dee Dee, what are you--

hmm. Interesting specimen.

I mean, Dee Dee, so good of you to join us.

Who are your funny-looking friends?

[Sniffing]

Eugh!

Dee Dee, these are my friends from far away.

They're going on a trip to, uh, candyland.

I would go, but I don't want to get experimented on.

I mean, um, uh...

I'm not hungry.

Candyland? Let's go!

Ooh! Pretty light!

Now where's that candy?

[Speaking alien language]

Bye, Dee Dee! Bye-bye!

Finally I am rid of my sister forever,

and I can enjoy conducting my experiments in peace.

Ahh! Sweet silence.

Heh heh heh.

Mother: Kids, dinnertime!

Hey, mom, what's for dinner?

Well, Dexter, creamed corn and sliced Dee Dee.

Dexter, could you help me set the table?

Uh, sure, mom.

Dexter, have you seen your sister?

Uh, she went to spend the night at her friend's place.

Mo...mom, may I be excused?

But, honey, you haven't even touched your food.

I'm not very hungry.

It is very lonely here without you.

I...

I can't even work.

[Crying]

Dee Dee: Help me, Dexter.

Hold on, Dee Dee. I am coming.

[Alarm]

Computer, commence flight preparations

for the star hammer pursuit interceptor.

I am en route to launch pad 3. Pronto.

Computer: Star hammer is cleared for launch.

[Ruff ruff]

Dexter: Don't worry, Dee Dee. I am coming to save you.

Aah!

Ha ha ha!

Candy! Candy! Candy! Candy! Candy!

Any candy here?

Aha! There she is!

Ooh. Is this where you hide the candy?

Eugh!

Dexter: I have you now.

Trying to escape me, eh?

Not so fast.

Mmm! Is this where the candy is hiding?

Ooh! Is this Taffy?

Oh, my sweet pajamas.

They have disappeared into hyperspace.

Aah!

Aaaah!

All right! Give up the girl, you spacey paste eaters!

Hi, Dexter!

Did you come to get some candy, too?

No, I came to take you home.

Well, we're not leaving until we get some candy!

What's candy?

Hurry! Go get her something!

Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!

Ooh! What does this button do?

Ooh! What's that? Ooh! Ooh!

Ahh!

The justice friends-- 3 of earth's mightiest heroes...

Joining forces under one roof...

To face the challenge of everyday life.

Starring major glory...

Valhallen...

And the infragible krunk in...

What now? Duckie.

Yeah. Comb?

Mirror?

Yeah.

Fridge.

Yeah.

Couch.

Hey, puppet pal clem?

What?

Whoa!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

[Gurgling]

Why you break toilet, blondie?

Dude, don't even go there, dude.

You know you broke it, dude.

Major glory: What's going on in there?

I'm still waiting to take a shower.

We better fix before flagman find out.

Uh...ok.

I pledge allegiance to the flag...

No, no.

I pledge allegiance...

Hmm. I pledge allegiance to the flag

of the United States of America and to the republic...

This is crazy.

Krunk no like basement.

Aah! Aah!

No. The republic--

uh, flagman, flagman!

We went into the basement to fix a clog in the pipe,

and we saw something down there.

It was nasty, dude. You got to help us.

All right. All right. Just get off of me, will you? I'm naked!

Who goes there? Show yourself!

It is i--ratman--

the darkest, most feared vigilante of all time!

Behold my cavernous rat cave.

Uh, dude, I think you're a little confused, dude.

This is our basement.

Nonsense! Do not attempt your clever ruse on me.

Quickly identify yourselves

before I am forced to take extreme action!

Why, we're the justice friends, of course.

We're superheroes.

And this is our basement,

so you'd better start explaining

what you're doing down here.

It all started long ago.

There I was, a mere child of 30, living with my parents--

a happy family.

It was movie night. We had just seenBen,

and I must admit, I was a little excited by the film

and was jumping around like a giddy schoolgirl

when a large sewer rat emerged from the depths of the hideous underground...

Aah! Aah!

Scaring both of my parents away...

Forever!

Leaving me, a mere child of 30,

to fend for myself in the cruel city.

Fortunately for me, the rats took me in,

cared for me, fed me, and clothed me,

taught me the way of the rodent,

got me into top physical condition,

and even sent me to vocational school.

Alas, I inherited their vast fortune,

thus becoming ratman-- feared creature of the night.

You are a very disturbed little man.

You do know that, don't you?

Uh, wait, dude. Your story don't add up.

I mean, aren't the rats the ones who scared your parents away?

Then, what? Ratman, what's the motivation here?

Are you, um, like, avenging your parents, or...

What do you mean?

I got the costume, the belt. What's not to get?

The generator! It's about to blow!

Justice friends, assemble!

Attack!

Valhallen!

I'm all washed-up, dude.

Huh? Grr!

Krunk!

Krunk!

Krunk! Major glory!

Whoo!

Will you guys quit playing with the boiler?

I'm trying to tell you my origins story.

No! No!

Awesome!

Wow.

Now, where was I?

Oh, yeah. The hideous, cruel, dark blackness of the night.

So, Mr. Ratman, they tell me you're a crime fighter, eh?

Huh?

Of course I'm a crime fighter!

What the heck have I been talking about?

Well, how would you like to become a member

of the greatest crime-fighting team in the biz--

the justice friends!

How much does it pay?

Well, we pay standard journeyman scale for superhero crime fighters

plus a health, dental...

Hmm.

And vision plan.

Cool!

Psych!

Just joshin'.

Heh heh heh!

So what's first on the agenda?

Let's get cracking.

Now, now, don't you worry, little man.

We've got a very special job for you.

Uh! Oh, I'm beat.

What a battle!

Krunk sore!

All I want to do is chill and watch the tube.

You can depend on dippy diapers.

If your baby's drippy, just say dippy.

[Static]

Ratman is here!

Show yourself, evil scourge of justice!

Gee, it's been kind of slow lately.

I mean, the blender last week, the toaster before that.

Where's all the archvillains and psychopathic killers?

I'm ready. I can take them all.

I got all these cool things...

Dee Dee! Dee Dee!

I heard this great joke! Ha ha ha!

Ok. Here it goes.

A physics professor and his assistant

were working on liberating

negatively charged hydroxyl ions

when all of a sudden the assistant says,

"wait, professor.

"What if the salicylic acids

don't accept the hydroxyl ion?"

And the professor responds,

"that's no hydroxyl ion, that's my wife."

Ha ha ha!

Hey, Earl. How's life treating you?

Don't ask.

Too late. I already did.

Let's see. What do we have here?

Anything for me? Anything for me?

Anything for me?

What about me? Anything for me?

Why do you always copy me?

Look, hon. There's some mail here

for our little man of the family.

Oh, cool!

What is this?

Publishers sweepinghouse?

Dee Dee, there is one here for you, too.

Oh, boy! I could be eligible

for a chance at winning an opportunity to be eligible to win--

do you know what the odds are

of you winning something like that?

You have got a better chance

of finding it on the playground.

A bill?

200 million?

But I'm just a kid.

Where am I going to find that kind of money?

Place the stamp here for a free clock with 10 purchases.

Dad, we need to have a talk, man-to-man.

Yeah, sure, son.

Publishers sweepinghouse will have you saying "it's fun to be rich."

Ho ho ho!

It's about my allowance.

Pay attention, dad.

Now, if you started me at the rate of 5 cents a week at age 4

but in 9 months of that year it was raised to 10 cents a week,

ok, if it would continue to raise at an exponential rate

compounded with the rate of inflation...

Sounds fair.

And furthermore factoring in

the survey of the other kids in the neighborhood

averaged into the statistics of allowance rates

not only here in this country,

but all over the world,

I should be making $1.5 million weekly.

Hmm. Can't argue with the facts,

but you'll have to settle for

a quarter of a million this time, champ.

Drat!

What about me?

Well, according to Dexter's charts and graphs,

you should get 5 bucks because you're older.

Hi, Dexter!

[Telephone rings]

Mother: Dexter, telephone!

Hello?

Man: This is the NASA payment collection agency.

We still haven't received your payment here.

Did you get our notice?

Uh, I don't think so.

I don't see it here.

I've been busy here.

I have been having trouble getting my mail,

and I have to leave the country.

Ok. Well, do you know

that you only have 2 days left to pay it, then?

But the notice says I've got 10 days!

Oh, so youdid receive our notice, then?

Drat!

What you doing, Dexter?

Huh? Get out of here, Dee Dee.

I am trying to have a sale and make some cash.

A sale? Well, I'm going to have a sale, too.

So?

Go ahead.

Step right up, ladies and gentlemen,

for the finest in home electronics--

time traveler, atomic smashing devices.

Come on up. Don't be shy.

What can I do you for?

Uh, yeah. How much for this cool glowy thingy?

That, my good friend,

is no mere glowing thingy,

but a nuclear nitroliquid.

Oh, I just wanted a cool glowing thingy.

[Woman screaming]

[Sirens]

Hmm. I better take care of that later.

Hey, mister, how much for the giant ant?

How much for the cool glowing thingy?

A dollar.

How much for the video game patterns book?

Heh heh heh. That one's not for sale.

We shall take your light converters.

Fine. That will be 14.99 for the pair.

I said we shalltake your light converters.

Like I said, take them, they're yours.

$6.00, $7.00, $8.00 and 41, 42, 43--

how'd you do, Dexter?

I'll do your homework. I guarantee an "a."

The price? Only $2,000 a page.

Oh! No, no, no, no!

Fine, then! See if you graduate Harvard by yourself!

[Doorbell rings]

It's dek McMahon!

Dee Dee, there's someone here to see you!

Here you go, Dee Dee.

You're our $200 million winner.

Ho ho ho!

Holy cow!

What do you say, Dee Dee?

Thanks!

No problem, Dee Dee. Just put it in a safe spot.

I will!

This is ridiculous!

I need to make some loot!

Oh, boy!

Now only $199,900,999 left to go.

[Doorbell rings]

Dexter, there's some men from NASA here to see you.

Uh, tell them I'll be right down.

[Teeth chattering]

She does have more than enough.

[Gasps]

But what if I get caught?

Oh!

No, no. I will never resort to stealing.

A man of my stature and intelligence

would never resort to common thievery.

Dexter!

[Sighs]

Oh, Dexter, you know I would have loaned you the money...

If only you had just asked.

Oh, the shame!

Would it be ok if I asked you now

if it would be ok if I could please borrow the money?

May I please borrow the money?

Um...ok, but only under one condition.

Dee Dee, keep your things out of my side of the lab!

Sorry, Dexter.

Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group and U.S. department of education

captioning performed by the national captioning institute, inc.

Enter at your own peril,

past the bolted door

where impossible things may happen

that the world's never seen before.

♪ In Dexter's laboratory ♪

♪ lives the smartest boy ♪

♪ you've ever seen

♪ but Dee Dee blows his experiments ♪

♪ to smithereens

♪ there is gloom and doom ♪

♪ while things go boom ♪

♪ in Dexter's lab

public performance of captions prohibited without permission of national captioning institute

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