Original subtitles

And U.S. department of education

Bad dog! Bad dog!

[Dog yelping]

Now, what am I missing?

Hmm.

But of course!

Atmosphere.

[Soft music playing]

[Loud thumping]

What?

Not here! Not now!

Not tonight! Please, not tonight!

No, no, please! Don't let it be!

Dee Dee.

♪ Babysitter, babysitter ♪

♪ we get a babysitter

♪ babysitter, babysitter ♪

No, Dee Dee, no!

You are ruining everything!

Can you not see

that I have painstakingly made sure

that everything is in order?

Tonight must go absolutely perfect.

Capisce?

Hmm...

Ooh...

I get it.

♪ Dexter's got a girlfriend ♪

♪ Dexter's got a girlfriend ♪

No, no, no. You have got it all wrong.

It's, uh, uh...

Poker night!

[Doorbell rings]

Dee Dee, could you get that?

Ok, mom.

Wait, Dee Dee, wait! I'll get it!

[Ding dong]

Dee Dee: Coming!

No, Dee Dee, no!

Ok, Dexter.

You can answer the door for your girlfriend.

I do not know what you are talking about,

but as long as I am here, I might as well--

ok, Dexter. Think cool.

Ciao.

[Slow wolf whistle]

How's my little guy this evening?

[Stammering]

Mom: Lisa, thanks for coming over, hon.

There's food in the kitchen,

and we left the number where you can reach us.

Be good, kids.

Dee Dee: Hey, Lisa, guess what?

Dexter has a secret!

He likes a girl--

hello, Lisa. Will you excuse me for a minute?

Dee Dee, what is that?

What? Where?

Over there. Go get it, girl!

Now, Lisa, where were we?

[Telephone ringing]

Oh, excuse me, Dexter. I'll be right back.

Drat.

Hello?

Oh, Jeff, you called.

Jeff? Who is this Jeff?

Of course I do.

You're my little fuzzy lambikins.

No! She didn't!

She did?

Bet they're not in love like us, Jeffy.

Love?

Oh, can it be true?

Can the object of my affection

be bequeathed to another?

No!

Carpe diem,

in other words, reach out and touch someone!

Ha ha ha!

Hey, Dexter,

is this what I'm looking for?

No! Now go away!

I am hatching an evil scheme.

Now, where was I?

Ah, yes.

Ha ha ha!

Yeah, sure I saw your game today. You were great.

[Click]

Lisa, are you there?

Lisa!

Computer: Dexter, telephone line disconnected.

Ready for redial and voice augmentation.

Good.

[Ring]

Hello? Lisa? What happened?

I guess we just got cut off,

but I wanted to call you back

and tell you that you have got cooties,

and I am in love with Dexter. Bye.

Hello, Lisa? Hey, what is this?

Hello? That's it. I'm coming over!

Now for phase two.

[Telephone rings]

Hello?

Dee Dee, get off the phone!

Ok, but I'm still looking for whatever I'm supposed to be looking for.

Great. Ok, bye-bye.

Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye.

Bye!

One more time.

Hello? Jeff? Jeff, what happened?

Oh, I guess we just got cut off,

but I wanted to call you back

and tell you that you have got cooties,

and I am in love with--

with my football. Bye.

Hello? Jeff? Jeff? Are you there?

[Dial tone]

Mission accomplished.

And now for the third and final phase:

The old sympathetic ear.

Hey!

What is wrong, Lisa?

Men are dirt!

Aw, that is not true.

Maybe you just have not met the right man...

Or boy.

Maybe you should just give up on jocks

and go for the more bookish type.

Oh, Dexter, you are so sweet.

If only you were ten years older.

Ten years older?

Wait! Hold that thought!

Yes! Yes! Ten years older!

I will blind her with science!

Hey, Dee Dee?

Yeah?

What are you looking for?

I don't know.

Weird family.

Now, my sweet, where were we?

Aah!

Lisa, wait!

Now I'll never find true love.

Aah!

I found it!

It's you I've been looking for all this time!

No, Dee Dee, no! It's me--Dexter!

Oh, hello. May I help you?

Yeah. Is your name Dexter?

Why, yes, it is.

Nice to meet you. I'm Jeff.

The justice friends, three of earth's mightiest heroes...

Joining forces under one roof

to face the challenge of everyday life.

Starring major glory...

Valhallen...

And the uncrackable krunk

inthe justice friends.

Justice friends to breakfast!

Krunk and Teddy, ready for pancakes!

[Laugh track playing]

Krunk and Teddy are 2.8917 seconds late.

Your incessant tardiness is working on my last nerve!

I am so underappreciated!

I work and slave over a hot stove,

making my special once-a-month-only all-American buffet

and where is valhallen?

Is it too much to ask that he show his asgardian butt?

I, major glory, swear on the statue of Liberty

I will never make breakfast again!

We don't eat until everyone is at the table!

[Moaning]

Spooky noises scare Teddy.

They're coming from valhallen's room!

[Moaning]

Krunk, it sounds as though our comrade's in trouble!

Go inside and see what's wrong.

Krunk never been in valhallen's room.

Teddy and krunk scared!

You are a justice friend, krunk,

and Teddy doesn't pay a third of the rent.

Now open the door,

and we'll venture together into the unknown!

Gird your loins, krunk,

for we know not what awaits us

within the sanctuary of the rock god.

Room much bigger than krunk's.

That's why he pays extra.

Valhallen!

Look up on slab!

Aah...

[Moaning]

Easy, son. The justice friends are here.

How you feeling, kiddo?

My world's been rocked!

I'm seeing stars!

I feel like I'm burning up!

What could have caused this?

The ax.

I've lost...The ax!

What did he say?

Enchanted ax,

valhallen's instrument of godly might.

It is the very source of his power.

Without its magic,

valhallen, as well as our lease, will surely wither away,

leaving nothing more than a mere...A mere...

What? A mere what?

Mortal dude.

No!

The ax, boy. How did you lose it?

I can't remember.

Was it lost in an epic battle?

I can't remember.

Was it stolen by a devilish fiend?

I can't remember.

Well, what can you remember?

[Whispering] Lazy, longhaired good-for-nothing.

The last thing I remember,

I was charioting across the heavens,

drawn by Billy's mighty hooves to asgard, kingdom of the gods,

wherein I did proceed to rock and roll.

Afterwards, I was visited by the valkyries bearing golden apples.

The rest all becomes a blur.

Well, you haven't lost your powers yet,

and William goat is here.

The ax can't be far.

We must search every corner of the rock god's bedroom!

Krunk, we seek the ax!

Krunk rather seek breakfast.

[Valhallen moaning]

This ax?

No, bro. It's a musical instrument.

How about this?

Bigger, dude.

Is this it?

It's probably under that rotting heap of trash.

Ax not behind poster.

Major glory: The twilight's last gleaming!

He's withering away!

Maybe ax in statue.

Nope.

Nope.

When I say "secret identity,"

Imea

oh, no!

Not my flowing locks!

This land reeks of death and sweaty socks.

Krunk: Look! A ghost!

By the dawn's early light!

A spooky pirate shirt, and it's going into that closet!

Into tomb of funky laundry.

Be wary.

The clothing within is so foul,

it is said to have a life of its own.

Krunk not scared of stinking laundry.

Krunk find ax!

Oh, no! Wild animal stretch pants!

Help! Ghost have krunk!

Ghost have krunk! Ghost have krunk!

Krunk!

Aah!

Clothes have krunk!

Fear not, krunk. Help is on the way!

Billy, don't be a hero!

[Krunk laughs]

Goat save krunk. Goat is good.

[Guitar strings twanging]

[Guitar wails]

Ax in goat!

Krunk get ax!

Whoa, there, krunk.

I'm not sure William would appreciate your methods.

Whoa. Can't hold out much longer.

Valhallen, think fast!

Ugh!

I can feel the ax's magic

radiating from deep within your gullet.

I have the power!

Justice friends, eat your breakfast!

Many thanks, major glory, to you and the unfraggable one

for the return of my mystic instrument of might.

Mmm.

Krunk love pancakes.

[Baa]

Maybe krunk have goat's milk for breakfast!

Dexter, what's that? Where?

Very funny!

I'm sorry.

Dexter, what's that?

Where?

Will you cut it out!

Ok.

Dexter, what's that?

Oh, no. I'm not falling for that again.

[Snoring]

Man: Hurry, Dexter. You have only 30 seconds to complete the test!

Hmm.

Hmm.

[Buzzing]

What?

No...

Hi, Dexter! Easy, huh?

Easy, easy, easy, easy, easy--

very intriguing, young lady.

How do you do it?

Oh, it's simple once you understand that space-time is curved.

Oh, brilliant. Simply brilliant!

I know.

How areyou Dexter?

[Ticking]

[Bell rings]

Dexter's log, star date 1234.5.

This is my third straight week of nightmares.

It has begun to affect my work and concentration.

[Plays electronic music]

I fear I may be losing this battle...For sanity.

[Clicking]

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Computer: Welcome to the lab. Remain seated, please.

[Computer speaks Spanish]

Dexter: I realize now that I must employ drastic measures

to fend for my very peace of mind,

and so I have constructed the dream machine...

A device which uses a unique datawave agitator

to hyperactivate my lower cortical tyratic gland

and deliver pleasant dream imagery to my subconscious mind.

[Snoring]

Dee Dee, pay attention. You are sleeping!

I was just resting my eyes, Dexter.

This is very important!

You will have to stay awake so that I can sleep.

Now listen up.

There is a thin line between pleasure and pain.

You must monitor my dream

in the unlikely event my machine fails

and I slip into another nightmare.

[Snoring]

Dee Dee!

I'm awake, Dexter!

Furthermore,

should I cross the line into nightmare territory,

it will be your duty

to press the dream ejector button,

catapulting me back to conscious reality.

[Snoring]

Uh-huh.

Ok, then. To the dream station!

Mm-hmm.

Dee Dee!

Everyone,

I don't think we could have asked for

a more beautiful evening.

Ok, let's make this a clean one.

Whatever.

Roger that.

Rock out, Dexter!

[Rooster crows]

Top of the morning to you, Dexter!

Hey, Dexter, we're brain food!

Yeah! Oh, boy!

[Fireworks and cheering]

[Fireworks and cheering]

[Fireworks and cheering]

[Rustling]

I read them all!

Ah, so the chickendid before the egg!

[Speaking various foreign languages]

Eureka! I comprehend the root of all languages!

[Beeping]

Whoa!

[Snoring]

That's it! I know everything!

I understand all!

Dee Dee: Hi, Dexter!

What are you doing in my dream?

You are supposed to be in the lab!

Ooh, look how smart you are!

Well, I am the smartest being in existence.

I know everything.

Everything?

Everything!

Do you know... The purpose of meaning?

Give me that!

I thought you knew everything.

Oh, so that is the one thing I don't know,

but I know how to find out.

How?

By going to see the grandfather of all knowledge.

Hmm, that is strange. Why is it raining?

Oh, well. I am sure the grandfather of all knowledge knows.

Um...excuse me, grandfather of all knowledge,

but can you tell me what is the purpose of meaning?

That's an easy one, Dexter.

Dee Dee, what are you doing behind that chair?

I'm the grandfather of all knowledge!

Well, ifyou the grandfather of all knowledge,

that means that...

I'm in a nightmare!

Aah!

[Laughter]

[Evil laughter]

Dee Dee! Dee Dee!

[Laughter]

Dee Dee, press the button!

Aah! Please!

Aah! Press the button!

Please, Dee Dee. Please, please, Dee Dee.

Press it!

[Snoring]

[Buzzing]

Dexter: Help me!

Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group and U.S. department of education

captioning performed by the national captioning institute, inc.

Enter at your own peril,

past the vaulted door

where impossible things may happen

that the world's never seen before.

♪ In Dexter's laboratory ♪

♪ lives the smartest boy ♪

♪ you've ever seen

♪ but Dee Dee blows his experiments ♪

♪ to smithereens

♪ there is gloom and doom ♪

♪ while things go boom ♪

♪ in Dexter's lab

public performance of captions prohibited without permission of national captioning institute

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