All language subtitles for Bikini Swamp Girl Massacre (2014)

I'm so glad you let me crash
your little no boys allowed,

Amazon woman camping trip.

I can't believe we had to
paddle this far out, though.

We might have to go home
once Mama lesbo and the rest

Get here.

I think Sandy might be
coming with the rest too.

I don't even want
to hear her name.

Aren't I good enough?

Don't you love me?

Yes.

Of course I do.

Enough talk, though.

Let's have some action.

Hey John.
Look at that owl.

It looks like it's watching us.

Isn't that strange?

Even the birds like to
watch the birds and the bees.

[Strange voice whispering]

Hey John.

Do you know where Roselyn is?

Better be asleep in her
cabin and not playing

Spy games for her friend Sandy.

John?

Carla?

Roselyn?

You'd better not tell
Sandy anything about this

Or I'll make you pay.

Better get back to the cabin
and mind your own business.

Hey you.

Go away, weirdo.

[Scream]

I'm Coowahchobee.

You will be my
bride, White Rain.

Please don't hurt me.

What's going on here?

I hear me some mating calls.

Goddamn that
Indian, Coowahchobee.

I'm so close to
retirement, they'll

Never believe I didn't do this.

Hey, this is Ted at
Ted's Swamp Safari.

Anybody out there copy me?

Over.

Oh, Ted?
Is that you?

Hey Ron.

I just-- I heard some shooting.

I thought it was something,
but it was just some hunters.

I'll take care of it.

All right.

Well, if you need me
you know where I'm at.

Give me a call.

Thanks.
Over.

OK.

Over and out.

Coincidence?

I think not.

But there's no doubt that foul
play was behind the dozens

Of unsolved disappearances
in the Everglades

Over the past 100 years.

The real question
is who or what is

Behind these
disappearances, and whether

Or not they are all linked
to one source of evil.

Could it be a serial
killer, a monster?

A skunk ape or chupacabra.

Or perhaps a brotherhood
of killers linked by blood.

Legend has it that a restless
Native American spirit named

Coowahchobee roamed
the big cypress swamp

Since the Seminole Wars, killing
hapless American tourists

Especially around Columbus Day.

Accounts of this supernatural
Seminole serial killer

First began to surface at the
end of those Seminole Wars

In the late 1850s, but they have
persisted to the present day.

You are watching a re-creation
of a devastating true life

Crime as reported by the
one surviving witness.

The names and exact locations
have been changed out

Of respect for the
dead, but this movie

Is based on a true story.

It takes place here at a
Miami Beach resort where

A group of young women prepared
for the Everglades camping

Trip of a lifetime.

Hi Uncle Bill!

Sandy.

You were terrific.

Thank you.

Thanks for coming.

Now, are you sure you want
to go out in the Everglades?

I mean, I think so.

I think it's going to be fun.

You know, I've been in the
Everglades a lot of times.

You know it's full
of alligators.

Just stay with a group.

I think you'll be OK.

Yeah, we'll stay together.

I think we'll be OK.

I appreciate the advice.

Thank you for coming.
-Love you.

Bye.

Take care.

Sandy.

Hey Mama Bear.

Hey.

You're still coming with us
to the Everglades, right?

I don't know.

I think I might
have other plans.

Like what?

Getting your nails
and your hair done?

I can't believe
you'd really miss

Our famous self-empowerment
camping trip.

I don't need to
howl at the moon

And sing Kumbaya
to feel empowered.

I know.

But it's gonna be fun.

And besides, your boy toy
John might be there to come

Crash our girls-only party.

Not interested.

I'm done with that player.

Oh.

Well, Roselyn's gonna be
there and your friend Carla

Might come too.

So if you're missing
in action, that

Could spell trouble for you.

Like I care.

Suit yourself.

The tour guide's going
to be here any minute

And I really hope
you change your mind.

OK?

OK.

At camp?

Chanting louder?

Hey Roselyn.

It's me Sandy I got your text.

You're hearing chanting?

That's a little spooky.

I still haven't heard from John.

I heard he might be out there
shacking up with Carla, so I

Think I might actually
come out there

To see if I can catch
that bastard in the act

If he is there.

I'll see you later.

Ciao.

[Menacing music]

MAMA BEAR: So guys.

It's Columbus Day
weekend and as you know,

It's a three-day weekend, right?

To celebrate the birth of little
baby Columbus who came over

On the Mayflower in
search of some New World

Bud over half a millennium ago.

Anyway, as Amazon women, we
need to celebrate our right

To head out into the Everglades
and be as wild and adventurous

As any man, don't you agree?

Hey.

I decided I am going to
come camping, Mama Bear.

Oh, well, that's so good!

Miss Social Calendar
is going to join us!

But first thing we need to do is
get out of these crazy clothes.

Please.

Yes.

The tour guides are going
to pick us up in the lobby.

Let's go get changed
and we'll meet there.

-Yes.
-Let's do it.

Let's go.

[Playful music]

Mike!

Don't mess with me!

Help, Mama Bear!

Call off your cubs.

Don't touch the
[inaudible], Mike!

She's gone loco!

Come on, Kate.

Forget about that fool.

It's time to go.
The driver's here.

We have to load up to head
out to the Everglades.

No, Babe.

You're staying with me tonight.

Let's spend the night.

No guys allowed, honey.

I'm sorry.

I don't think I'm going,
but have a good time.

Suit yourself, lover girl.

Bye!

Take care.

[Menacing music]

Hey.

Do you know where the lobby is?

Are you deaf?

I said do you know how
to get to the lobby?

Coowahchobee see you
attack woman at pool.

You offend woman.

You offend Coowahchobee.

Whatever.

Say your prayers, kimo sabe.

Because I will
kill you and I will

Cast your severed limbs
into the ocean as sacrifice

To gods of the sea!

Get away from me.

You're crazy.

What are you doing?

[Indian drumming]

Now I will drain
your body of blood

Like your people have drained
my Everglades of water!

[Scream]

[Country music]

Welcome to Ted's
Swamp Safari, ladies.

We're going to be driving to
the Big Cypress Reservation.

We're gonna canoe out
to a beautiful cabin.

You will have at your disposal
hiking trips, fishing,

Canoeing, whatever you want.

And a whole lot of wildlife.

Is everyone accounted for?

Yes, we're all here.

My name's Mama Bear.

I spoke to you on the phone.

How could I forget a
name like Mama Bear.

Thank you so much for
the generous discount.

It's a pleasure.

Actually, Columbus Day has
been notoriously slow for us.

So I was happy to give
you guys a discount.

Now, without further
ado, why don't we

Head out to the Big Cypress
and have a killer weekend.

Come on, ladies.

I told you guys we were gonna
be way out in the jungle.

This is crazy.

I can't believe we need a
machete to cut us a path.

Yeah, but that's the point.

We came out here to confront
our fears, to become one

With nature, and grow stronger.

Oh, shut up.

It's going to be
great, you guys.

Let's go.

This is where the road ends.

From here on in,
we're going to be

Paddling canoes until
we get to the island

That the cabin is on.

Right this way.

OK.

Watch out for this thing.

It's gonna smack you
right in the face.

I'm sure you know
how to swim, Sandy.

I know, Mama Bear.

You're such a scaredy cat.

I'm not a scaredy cat!

The water is two feet.

OK.

I'm going to steer
the first canoe.

Tonya, Veronica, you
guys will paddle.

Mama Bear.

Yeah.

You steer the second canoe.

The other gals will all paddle.

Now, remember, if
you see an alligator,

They cannot tip the canoe.

But if you freak out
and fall in the water,

You're gonna be dead meat.

Oh.
Wonderful.

Don't worry, girls.

You'll be fine.

We got this, girls.

It's gonna be fun!

Paddles, ladies!

My hand is stuck
under the bridge!

Ow.
-Don't worry, baby girl.

You didn't mess up your nails.

You guys are really not the
brightest bulbs in the box,

I gotta tell ya.

Want to take a paddle?

[Shriek]

This is like Keystone
Cops on canoes.

Oh my god, is
that a real gator?

Yeah, that's a real gator!

Look at him!

OK, big boy.

I'll see you, OK?

Aww, bye bye.

Bye bye.

Help!

Help me!

You have to help me.

I don't know how much you
know about your husband,

Coowahchobee, but I saw him.

He killed people
right in front of me.

Oh please!

He has to be stopped.

He's just a disgrace
to your culture.

Guys, where are we going?

This is taking forever.

I'm thirsty.

Ted, is there any water?

No, we don't need any water.

So Ted, how much
longer do you think?

We're very close.

Just another 15 minutes or so.

Oh my god!

[Scream]

TED: Leave it alone.

Take it easy.

We're going to go that way.

There is a real
fucking alligator.

It wasn't fucking.

MAMA BEAR: Don't panic!

Hey, hey.

Watch it, ladies.

Just calm.

Deep, cleansing breaths.

OK?

I swear that I saw
that tree before.

Yeah, it does look familiar?

Are we going in circles, Ted?

Of course not.

There are millions of
trees in this swamp

And some just look the same.

I don't think he knows
where he's taking us.

Yeah, he said it'd be fifteen
minutes like five times

Already.

I'm starting to
get really worried.

Hey Ted.

How much longer?

Fifteen minutes.

I don't mean to doubt
you, but you have already

Told us like five times.

As I said, we'll be
there in 15 minutes.

Oh please, I promise.

You let me out of
here and I will tell

No one about your Coowahchobee.

I can't believe we
didn't bring any water.

Can we drink the swamp water?

No.

It'll make you sick
and give you diarrhea.

I hate you, Mama Bear.

Do you think of something
terrible happened and one of us

Had to run back in an emergency,
that you'd be able to find

Your way back to the boat dock?

I don't know.

I've been trying
to pay attention,

But it all looks the same.

And being a little bit
high doesn't help either.

OK?

I'm getting a
little hungry too.

Don't worry.

We'll be there soon, OK?

I hope so.

I'm scared.

I want to go home.
-Don't worry.

We're safe.

We're going to get
there any minute now.

Isn't that right, Ted?

TED: Yes, of course.

You all need to chill out.

We'll be at the campground--

ALL: In fifteen minutes!

This is bullshit.

I'm turning this canoe
around and we are going back.

You think you
know your way back?

Yeah, I think so.

What are you going to do when
you get back and it's dark

And I have the
keys to the truck?

You're coming with us
and driving us back.

Calm down, people.

This is supposed to be
fun and self-empowering,

In your own words.

You contacted me and you signed
up for Ted's Swamp Safari

And this is part of it.

Now, if you wanted
to stay around

And lay at the pool
in South Beach,

You should have stayed home.

Now this is a chance
for you to grow

And have a great experience.

Now do you want to continue
or do you want to sit here

And cry like babies and go home?

All right.

Let's just go.

Come on.
Whatever.

Good.

Now let's go.

OK, fine.

Whatever.

All right.

Let's just keep going.

We're here.

All right, ladies.

Let me take you to the cabin
so you can get settled in.

So uh, Ted.

Is there anyone else in
the cabin this weekend?

There was another couple
here, but they left,

So you guys are going to
have the cabin to yourself

For the whole weekend.

Good.

Home, sweet home.

Nice.

It's really, really nice.

This is better than I expected.

Come on.

I'm excited.

I get the top bunk.

Oh no.

I'll race you to it.

There are a couple beds
here on the bottom floor

And there are a lot more beds
upstairs on the top floor.

Why don't you take a look?

I'm staying down here.

TED: Pick what you want.

So did you find a bed you like?

Yeah.

I did, but I also found my
friend Roselyn's luggage.

Look, this is her necklace.

That looks familiar.

I'm sure I saw her paddling
away with her boyfriend, though.

Let me see that, please.

That's definitely Roselyn's.

This is definitely
Roselyn's necklace.

Why would she leave her
luggage behind, especially

If it had her valuables in it?

It's a good question.

Who knows?

Maybe she's still here and
will be back for dinner.

Don't worry, Sandy.

We'll find out where
Roselyn is soon.

Everything will be fine.

Ted, could you please show
us where the bathrooms are?

Follow me.

Great.

This is the shower.

You mean it's
not even enclosed?

This is camping out in
Mother Nature at its finest.

I'm almost afraid to ask, but
where is the toilet exactly?

Follow me.

Ew.

-This is the toilet.
-Ew.

What?

You expect me to use that?

It's disgusting.

Hey, at least you'll
never have to worry

About a cold toilet seat.

And the snakes and alligators
will give you lots of privacy.

I can't believe that.

This concludes the
grand tour for now.

Why don't you guys
get settled in?

I'm going to go see about
giving us some dinner.

You guys can do some exploring.

Just remember to be back
here by 7:00 so that we

Can barbecue for dinner.

Got it.

See you guys.

Something to look forward to.

Please.

Please.

I won't tell
anybody about Carla.

About John.

Please just let me out of here.

I'll do anything.

You now belong to Coowahchobee.

This is your home.

Coowahchobee your husband.

You are Coowahchobee's
wife, White Rain.

Your wife?

I will never love you.

You are wearing
a wedding dress.

It is done by Seminole law.

If Coowahchobee let you
out, you be good wife?

You make little
baby Coowahchobees?

I said I'd do anything.

Just let me out of here.

Please.

Coowahchobee likes this.

Coowahchobee make baby
Coowahchobees with you.

Very nice.

Coowahchobee like boobies.

Coowahchobee likes this.

Ow!

No!

Help!

Help!

No!

Dream all you want, White Rain.

We're in the middle
of the Everglades.

Nobody going to hear you.

Let go of me, you bastard!

Coowahchobee own you, woman.

We are married.

Like your people say,
til death do us part.

Dude, I'm starving.

Do you know when dinner is?

Soon.

Ted said he was coming
around 7:00 to get us.

Do you really think that Roselyn
would leave her luggage behind?

Even her necklace?

I forgot about that.

Yeah.

Well, Sandy, she
is kind of a ditz.

Shut up.

That's not nice.

I'm sorry, honey.

I'm just saying.

It's possible.

Well, I guess you're right.

But I could never see
her leaving with John

And Carla instead
hang out with us.

Sandy, John is a Grade
A piece of man meat.

There's no way Roselyn
wouldn't fall for him.

And betray me?

She knew that we had a thing.

A thing?

Really?

John has a thing with all of us.

I know we had a thing.

Me too.

I know a thing about John thing.

Spare me the details please.

Girls, girls.

You know that Sandy
believes in true love

And all that beautiful stuff.

Please don't ruin it for her
with all of your catty gossip.

It's OK.

I mean, I knew
that he got around.

I just didn't
realize he got around

With everyone in this room.

[Laughter]

Why do you think
John is the only guy

Invited on our all-girls
little expedition to the wild?

He's practically like
a brother to all of us.

Well, to me anyway.

What we did was
nothing brotherly.

Now the truth comes out.

Dirty.

[Whispering]

What was that?

What is it?

You heard it too, didn't you?

I think we should go
downstairs and check it out.

I think somebody's out there.

[Whispering]

So who do you think
would be walking

Around waiting out here?

Maybe it's a
mass-murdering cannibal.

Or an alien from
another planet.

Or maybe it's a
giant alligator.

Or maybe it's just Ted.

Sandy.

You're always ruin everything.

All right.

Whoever's out there
better watch out

Because we're a bunch of
angry, self-empowered bitches

Who eat men for dinner.

Ain't that right, girls?

ALL: Yeah!

Whoa.

Don't worry.

It's just me, Ted.

Your tour guide, remember?
-Oh.

Hi, Ted.

Oh hi Ted.

If you're feeling hungry,
follow me to the barbecue pit.

Yeah.

Let's go.

Finally.

I'm starving.

This is so awesome.

Who wants a nice
piece of my meat?

I got seven.

One for me.

Ladies, this concludes
the meat service.

Let me get nekkid.

Pretty good, huh, kiddies?

-Disgusting.
-What's the matter, Sandy?

You don't like meat?

Even Mama Bear's eating it and
she's a certified hippy chick.

I'm sure that it's great,
but I'm a vegetarian.

Well I'm a vagetarian
myself, but I tend to eat

Whatever's put in front of me.

And out here in the
Everglades, the law of the land

Is you either eat or be eaten.

What are we eating
tonight, Ted?

Tonight we're
having gator tail.

Really?

Wow.

Got it myself.

And what's our second option?

That is your second option.

That's what's known
as it for tonight.

Well thank you, Ted.

It's fresh.

Isn't it illegal
to kill alligators?

Well actually, it's
seasonal, but they

Run around here like rats.

Sorry to change the
subject, but I still

Haven't seen Roselyn all night.

Where could she be?

I told you I saw her
leave with that guy.

She went home.

Get over it.

Or maybe she is
still here making

Sweet love to John
under the moonlight

On a private swamp island.

Roselyn really isn't
the type to make

Sweet love under the
moonlight in the swamp

With my ex-boyfriend.

But whatever.

I'll drop it for now.

Can I have some marshmallows?

Of course.

It's S'mores time, ladies.

I got marshmallows,
chocolate, help yourself.

If you don't mind, I'm going
to turn into for the evening.

So goodnight.

-Goodnight, Ted.
-See you, Ted.

Thank you.

Have a good night.

This is great!

Yeah, Mama Bear.

I'm so happy that I came.

This was a great idea.

Who needs men when we have
friends and wide open spaces.

I haven't been out
here since I was a kid.

Yeah because college
life doesn't allow

Much time for camping, right?

Except for spring break,
summer break, fall break,

Winter break.

Oh um--

Easter weekend, Memorial
Day, Columbus weekend.

OK.
Shut up.

I get your point.

I guess I'm just not
much of a nature person.

I come out here all
the time to wrestle

Alligator and trap pythons.

And mate with skunk apes.

Oh girl, there may be more
truth to that than you know.

This reminds me
of how I met John.

Really?

I was camping out and
it started raining,

And he gave me shelter.

Oh yeah?

Where were you camping?

I was camping out for tickets
to the Florida State game.

And he gave me a
tour of the stadium.

Which ended in the locker
room showers, I'm sure.

Yeah.

For you too?

We are talking
about John, right?

As I remember it, we actually
found an orchid growing

In some musty water
pipes despite the fact

That it never seen
the light of day.

Oh how romantic.

I guess all it takes is a
steamy shower and a musty locker

Room for love to grow?

Unfortunately, I soon found
out that sensitive guys

Like John only flower
on the off season,

When they're not footballing.

It's a good thing I
never picked his stamen.

Well, darling, with
pretty petals like those,

I'm sure his stamen
was hard-pressed not

To enter your pistil.

Ew.

Mama Bear!

Dirty Bear.

Honey, I just call
it like I see it.

Ah, this is great.

[Whispering]

Do you hear that?

Hey!

Who's out there?

Hello, ladies.

Hello.

My name's Ron.

What are you doing out here?

We are on a females only
self-empowerment camping trip,

So you can get out.

Hold on now.

I'll be out of here in just a
minute and you should be too.

Oh yeah?

Why is that?

Every several years
some half-wit tourist

Goes missing out here
in the Everglades.

They say there's a curse.

Oh.

I've only ventured this
far out in the swamp

Because I care about
your lives and I saw

You drive in earlier with Ted.

If we were in danger, don't you
think that Ted would tell us?

Ted only cares
about making a buck.

But where is he now?

He left about half an
hour ago to go home.

He's hunkered down and
hiding out of sight.

He's no fool.

What are you so scared of?

Why Columbus Day weekend?

Call me superstitious,
but there's a legend

That the angry Seminole
warrior called Coowahchobee

Who is said to haunt this area.

Coowahchobee is the
Seminole name for Panther

And his spirit is said to be
the soul of a real warrior who

Was murdered by the US soldiers
during a truce of the Seminole

War.

It is said that every year
around Columbus Day weekend,

He becomes especially volatile
and takes out his revenge

On modern-day Americans.

What?

-This guy's crazy.
-Calm down.

I'm not lying.

If you came here
just to scare us,

Then I'm going to knock you
back into the Civil War,

You inbred, hillbilly
motherfucker.

I heard the tale myself from my
brother who was one of the very

Few survivors of the attack.

If you want me to
go, I will, but

If you want to hear my story
then shut up and listen.

I grew up a couple of
miles west of here,

And when I was eight years old
I wanted to go on a hunting trip

With my brother to the
Seminole reservation

Back lands on
Columbus Day weekend.

My father rented out a
cabin not too far from here

That was owned by Ted's mother.

What was that?

I think it was a beaver.

Don't worry about it.

Kind of looks like an
Indian burial ground.

My brother brought
his girlfriend,

And even though my father
tried to put an end

To any hanky panky, they were
still able to sneak off to make

Sweet love under the stars.

ALL: Make sweet love
under the moonlight!

Ooh.

On a private swamp island.

And as my brother told
me, he and his girlfriend

Got lost on their way
back to the cabin.

[Whispering]

Did you hear that?

I think it's Coowahchobee.

What's Coowahchobee?

Whatever.

Let's get back to this.

Yeah.

[Whispering]

[Chanting]

[Screaming]

Guys, they're dead!

Val, dad, they're both dead.

They were murdered.

What's up with the blood, dude?

I swear, they were just
murdered by an Indian.

You've gotta see this.
Come on.

You've got to come now.

Come on.

All right, son.

This is what we're going to do.

Ain't nobody going to believe
that no Seminole warrior

Coowahchobee killed everybody.

So we're going to tell them
a bunch of drug dealers

Did it and you're going
to have to shoot me.

That's crazy.

We can't do that.

We got no choice, buddy.

Come on.

Gotta do it.

Right over there.

Oh, motherfucker!

When we got back home, we
reported the phony crime

To the police and the
police believed my father

When they saw his arm.

My father's plan
worked and nobody

Ever suspected otherwise.

And no harm came to
my brother, but we all

Know the truth of what
really happened that night.

I fully believe in the
wrath of the Coowahchobee.

And every since this
happened to my family,

I try to warn travelers to
get out of the Everglades

On Columbus Day weekend.

Good one, buddy.

You're quite the storyteller.

You should be on the hillbilly
cable access channel 666.

Now, if you don't mind, we've
got some partying to do.

So thank you and goodnight.

You must cancel the
party and go home.

You're such a
party pooper, dude.

I was going to invite you to
come smoke some weed with us,

But now you're just
starting to annoy me.

If you will not leave,
I must stay and protect

You from the Coowahchobee.

We don't need your help.

We're a bunch of angry,
self-empowered bitches

And we can fend for ourselves.

You must listen to me.

It's not a joke.

The murders have
affected my own family.

Listen to my words.

Stay out of these swamps
on Columbus Day weekend

Or you will feel the
wrath of the Coowahchobee.

Coowahchobee is the
alligator sunning

Itself on the side of the road.

It is the hawk that swoops
down from the sky for his prey.

He is the panther that will
hunt you like a rabbit.

He is the very water
that will drown

You when you least expect it.

Agh, get him off of me!

Hey!

Step back.

Burt Reynolds called, honey.

He needs you back on
the set of Deliverance.

[Banjo noise]

May the good Lord
forgive you of your sins

When you meet Coowahchobee.

Damn fool kids.

They deserve everything
they get for laughing at me.

Whoa.

What kind of sign are you?

Gator, gator.

I got something for you.

Come on out from
wherever you are.

How dare you defy Coowahchobee?

I would never
defy Coowahchobee.

What are you talking about?

Coowahchobee hear
you warn them kids.

You break my law.

How Coowahchobee let you
live and fish my water

If you break my law?

Oh please.

Please, Coowahchobee,
don't kill me.

I will never tell
another person.

Too late!

You are nothing but a
filthy exploiter of my land.

Now you die!

[Scream]

[Scream]

Hey, baby doll.

Where are you going?

Oh hey, Mama Bear.

It's really hot.
I can't sleep.

I'm going to go try to
take a shower to cool off.

Yeah, but Claire,
I'm going to bed soon.

No one's going to be out here
to make sure you're safe.

Mama, there's nothing out here.

You don't know what's out here.

Mama, we're in the
middle of nowhere.

If you've got to
go take a shower,

At least take my lucky
knife with you, please.

I'm not taking
that stupid thing.

Get back here.

Take the knife and scrub-a-dub.

Keep it clean.

I'm going to bed soon, baby.

All I want to do is have
sweet dreams about you.

I love you, Mama Bear.

I love you too, baby girl.

Goodnight.

See you in the morning.

[Screech]

Oh, hello little owl.

You're not creepy.

You can play nice, right?

[Screech]

[Screech]

[Gasp]

[Screech]

Oh, it smells.

Oh, that's gross.

I guess I'm going
to stink for a week.

[Screech]

Oh, Mama Bear.

You owe us for this one.

You will make fine third
wife for Coowahchobee!

[Scream]

[Grunting]

Listen, woman!

You will either be my
third wife or you will die!

Never!

I will never be your third wife.

Never!

Then you will die!

[Screech]

Rise and shine!

Where are we?

Oh yeah.

Camping.

How'd you all sleep?

Not so great.

What time are we heading back?

Heading back?

You've got the cabin
booked for another night.

Great.

Oh, come on, Sandy.

I was just thinking
since I feel

Like crap and
Roselyn's not here,

We could head back earlier.

We've got lots of
exploring to do.

We just got here.

Yeah.
You're right.

I'm sorry.

Has anyone seen
Claire or Martha?

Yeah.

Actually, she told me she
was going to wake up early

And go for a walk, so
I might join her later.

I haven't seen Claire
since last night.

Maybe that guy
Coowahchobee got her.

Or maybe it was Ron.

Ew.

Yeah.

Did you say Ron?

Yeah, it creeps me out that
that weirdo was stalking

Around here last night.

He came to the barbecue
after you left and told

Us the legend of Coowahchobee.

Why didn't you
tell us about that?

The legend of Coowahchobee
is just a bunch of rubbish.

Ron was probably talking
like that to scare you girls

Because he thought you
were hot and wanted

To take you home to his house.

Yeah, he did say that it
wasn't safe for us to stay here

And that we should all go
to his house for protection.

He said that they went on
a camping trip years ago

And they never did his
brother's girlfriend's body.

And then his brother
said that a Seminole

Indian warrior
named Coowahchobee

Was responsible for the murder.

That's just unbelievable.

First of all, I've known
Ron most of my life

And he doesn't have a brother.

What?

Yeah, I sorta kinda know that.

I've been to his
house time after time.

Truth is Ron's got
a few screws loose

And his own girlfriend
disappeared 20 years ago

Under mysterious circumstances.

He claimed it was due
to drug traffickers.

Next time he comes here
and tries to scare you,

I want you all to tell me.

I'm going to go try
and track him down so

He doesn't do that again.
I'm sorry.

Aww, thanks Ted.

I appreciate it.

So what do you have planned for
us today on your famous Ted's

Swamp Safari?

Well, there's ATV rides.

There's canoe trips.

All right.

There's even air boats.

All within 50 feet of the cabin.

Yay!

So I want you to go outside
and take a look around

And really have a good time.
-OK.

Great.
-Thank you.

Thanks.

I think I'm just going to go
meet Martha and take a walk.

Good.

I'm going to go prepare
lunch and look for Claire.

I'll see you guys in
a couple of hours.

Bye, Ted.

I'm so excited.
There's--

Coowahchobee!

So what do you think
happened to Claire?

Nothing.

She just wants to
ruin our camping trip.

I don't know.

Do you really think she
would do something like that?

Uh, yeah.

I didn't want her to
come on this trip,

But Mama Bear insisted.

And well, the
truth about Claire,

Though, is she's kind of a slut.

I don't know.

I just think that running off
in the middle of the night

Is a little bit too extreme.

Yeah, well Claire is an
extreme pain in the ass.

She's probably
out there partying

With some damn rednecks
with no concerns of us.

Stop worrying about her so much.

I don't know.

I just have a really bad
feeling that something

Bad must have happened
because Roselyn's missing too.

Ted said he saw a football
player and a skank whore

Leave together,
and I guarantee you

It was Roselyn and not Carla.

I don't know.

Do you really think Roselyn
would betray Sandy like that?

I wouldn't put it past her.

[Screech]

There's an owl up there?

Strange.

But it's the middle of the day.

I don't know.

Call me superstitious,
but I think

We should get out of here.
-Oh, come on.

It's a fucking bird.

It's not going to do anything.

All right.

You can stay here, but
I'm getting out of here.

I'm already freaked out
by that nut Ron's story

About Coowah--
whatever his name is.

And then Claire
seems to disappear?

I'm getting out of here.

You see?

The owl heard you talking
about him and he left.

You feel better now?

Don't worry about anything.

Most of these animals here
are more scared of you

Than you are of them.

I know.

I just-- whatever.

I just feel weird.

OK.

I'm getting out of here.

You can say.

Good luck.

Fine.

I'll see you back at the cabin.

Bye.

Fucking wuss.

I keep forgetting to bathe.

Yes.

This is a bad habit.

I just don't do want to
use that outdoor shower.

You're brave.

I think it's cool.

It's a good way to get a tan.

So what do you think
happened to Claire?

I'm sure she'll show up this
afternoon with some crazy story

To tell us all about.

I sure hope so.

This place is really
starting to creep me out.

I can't wait to leave.

Don't worry.

We only have one more day.

Just try to make
the best of it, OK?

OK.

You're right.

I think I'm going to go
find that canoe trail.

You didn't have enough
canoeing yesterday?

Uh yeah, but what else
is there to do here?

That's true.

That was quick.

No, I didn't shower yet.

This is Claire's shower kit
and her towel's back there too.

What?

That's really weird.

She must have been in a real
hurry to get out of here

If she left that there.

Don't worry about it.

Just have fun.

Don't even think
about that wench.

When she gets back
here, I'm going

To make her real sorry for
trying to scare us so hard.

OK?

It's working.

Don't let it.

Just have fun.

It's going to be OK.

All right.

Well, I think I'm going to
go find that canoe trail.

See you guys later.

All right.
Bye, honey.

Bye.

Have a good time.

Sit down.

I'm really nervous.

Don't worry, baby girl.

It's OK.

Finally some time alone.

I can be free and
one with nature.

I'm such a dork.

Help!

Please help me!

[Whispering]

Hello there.

Hi.

I've been on the CB radio
looking for your friends,

But so far I have
not had any luck.

Are you looking for
something to do?

What are you doing?

Well, I've just
finished some handiwork.

Would you like to take a walk?

Sounds fun.

OK.

So how long have
you lived here?

I was born and raised here.

My family has owned this
land for generations.

My great-great-grandfather
was one of the first white men

To venture this far inland.

It must get lonely out here.

Have you ever been married?

Yes, I was married once
and that was enough.

Want to see her picture?

Sure.

Wow, she's beautiful.

I married my
childhood sweetheart.

Her name was Rose.

She was a Seminole girl.

Unfortunately, she disappeared
under mysterious circumstances.

What's this cage for?

That's where I keep my larger
prey like bears, panthers,

And other big pussies.

[Scream]

Did you hear that scream?

Yes I did.

Hey guys.

Did you hear that scream?

No

I didn't hear a scream.

I could swear I heard a scream.

Ted heard it too.

-Yeah, I heard it.
-No.

We didn't hear a scream at all.

That was Mama Bear
screaming like a little baby.

Shut up.

Yes, it was me.

I got stuck by a
hornet in the shitter!

Ted, there's a reason that
there are walls on outhouses.

To keep the bugs out.

Unfortunately, out here it's
too warm to put walls on them.

Have you guys seen
Tonya or Martha?

No.

I bet they're out in the
woods making the beast

With two butts, though.

It's backs, woman!

The beast with two backs!

Oh, whatever.

No, I'm just kidding.

I haven't seen them at all.

Oh my God.

There's Tonya.

She's hurt!

Help her!

Jesus Christ, what happened?

Are you OK?

Come on, up.

Up, up.

Ready?

Let's lift.

Sit her down.

Sit her down.

How did this happen?

It looks like something
chewed your leg off.

I stepped in a
stupid bear trap.

My god.

You should have told me
to look out for them, Ted.

Listen, if you
wander off the path

There's no telling what
you're going to find.

Don't blame it on me.

I've got to eat too.

My dad is a big time
lawyer and he's not

Going to be happy about this.

Tonya, calm down.

It's not his fault.
Where is Martha?

I don't know.

I left her back there.

I was just so freaked out.

I kept seeing that owl.

And I just had to
come back here.

But please, when she
gets back can we just

Please get out of here?

Please.

Calm down.

You've got to rest.

We can't leave here with some
of your friends unaccounted for.

Let's bring Tonya into
the cabin so she can rest.

OK.

Come on.

You're going to be OK.

Here, let me help you up.

Come on.

Come on, sweetie.

Put your foot on here.

Sit, sit.

Sit back.

Easy.

Let me get a bowl.

Hold on.

Move.

[Coughing]

MAMA BEAR: Do we have
any water or anything?

[Chatter]

Just relax.

Relax.

Just lean back.

Oh my God, oh my God.

Sit back.

It's OK.

We're gonna clean it off.

Ted, do you have a first
aid kit or something?

TED: [inaudible]

Don't look at it.
Don't look at it.

Don't look.

Just breathe deep.

Veronica, get me the rags.

Here you go.

Calm down.

Just calm down.

Take deep breaths, OK?

Get me a wrap.

OK?

Just breathe deep, OK, honey?

That's going to help the pain.

Is there any gauze in there?

Got it.

Poor

Thing.

Listen.

Why don't you guys
take it easy here?

I'll take care of Tonya.

Go ahead and take the
gals and do something

To entertain yourselves.

I'll fix this and
get her some rest.

What?

I'll take care of her.

Are you kidding?

This thing needs a
tourniquet and some stitches.

I really would like to
stick around and help out.

Mama Bear, I got this.

I don't know.

Mama Bear, can we
please go find Martha?

I'm really freaking out.

I really don't
want to leave you.

Tonya, are you going to be OK?

I want to make sure
you're all right, girl.

This is bad.

I'll be fine.

Thank you.

Come on.

We need to go find Martha.

This is getting
really fucked up, OK?

Go ahead.

I'll survive.

I got it.

Take it easy.

Take it easy.

Ted, I know this
might sound strange.

But do you think you could
tell me where you last saw

My friends John and Roselyn?

Why?

What do you think
you're going to find?

I don't know.

Hopefully nothing.

I'm just looking
for some reassurance

That nothing happened to them.

I told you the last time I
saw them was at the boat ramp.

You can go down there and check,
but there's nothing there.

OK, thanks.

I'll be right back.

OK?

It's OK.

It's OK.

Please, I'm so hungry.

Anything, please.

Please.

Hey Rose.

It OK if Coowahchobee feeds
second wife, White Rain?

Coowahchobee think
it's OK with Rose.

According to Seminole law,
Coowahchobee no take second

Wife if he cannot feed her.

No.

Oh no.

What is that?

Don't you have anything like
a sandwich or something?

Coowahchobee get you sandwich.

OK?

Coowahchobee make
you ham and cheese.

Our love is like sandwich.

You are ham.

I am cheese.

[Screams]

What is that?

This is disgusting.

What is this?

What's the matter?

You don't like human fingers?

A few more days of
fasting, you eat

Anything Coowahchobee give you.

Can you hand-- hand me my
clothes over there please?

Why?

I don't know.

I'm just so cold.

Coowahchobee bring you clothes.

Goodbye, squaw.

[Screech]

Tonya?

[Whispering]

Is that you?

[Whispering]

You'd better not be
trying to scare me.

Tonya!

OK, just because you believe
Ron's story doesn't mean

I'm going to.

Tonya!

[Whispering]

OK, that's it.

Stop being a jerk.

[Screech]

And stop that stupid chanting.

You will make a fine wife.

Lay down and spread your
oyster for Coowahchobee.

If you want to
please [inaudible],

Coowahchobee would
grant you a fast death.

But no, I will let you linger!

I feed your spine to the
hawks of the Everglades!

Look.

It's that creep, Ron.

I'm going to turn around.

Calm down, V. He's
got an air boat.

Yeah, but he's so weird.

Yeah, but we need
to find Martha.

Maybe he'll give us a ride.

I've got my knife.

Don't worry.

OK.

Let's go.

Well, I'm glad you're here.

I see you've come
to your senses.

We need to get out of here.

Why?

What happened to you?

I was attacked by
Coowahchobee last night

And I saw him kill your friends.

Claire?

How do we know you
didn't kill Claire?

Ted told us your
story was a lie.

You don't even have a brother.

I admit that I lied
about having a brother.

But if you knew that
my own girlfriend died,

It would seem too suspicious.

But I swear on her
grave that it was

Coowahchobee that killed her.

Just like he killed
your girlfriend.

We need to get out of here.

Oh my God.

It's not safe here.

We gotta go.

I can get us back to
the highway in this thing

So we can hitch a ride.

So if you want to
go, hop aboard.

OK.

Yeah, I think we should go.

I have to stop here
to pick up extra fuel.

It'll only take a minute,
so just hang tight.

Look, another owl.

Do you think it's the
same one we saw yesterday?

No.

I doubt it.

But it is strange.

Yeah.

Wow.

What a crazy trip.

I feel so discombobulated.

I know exactly what you mean.

It's like our entire world's
turned right upside down.

Imagine, if we
were to die today,

Would you have any regrets?

Come on.

So you mean like things
you've always wanted to do,

But have never done before?

Yeah, like, have you
ever wondered what

It was like to kiss a woman?

I mean, not just a hello kiss.

But like really kiss a woman?

Can you keep a secret?

Yes.

That was cool.

Nice.

Oh really?

Look, another owl.

Coowahchobee smell
women in heat!

[Drumming]

What the hell was that?

A tomahawk!

Somebody threw a tomahawk at us!

Someone threw a tomahawk at us?

What is this, the Battle
of Little Bighorn?

Do you think that
guy Ron threw it?

That slimy bastard!

I'll kill whoever did that!

- Did you throw a tomahawk at us?
- Tomahawk?

What tomahawk?

I don't even own a tomahawk.

What am I going to
do with a tomahawk?

Scalp us, you crazy bastard!

Scalp you?

Why would I want to scalp you?

I don't know.

So that you could possess
our souls or something?

Or whatever psychopaths who
think that they are Indians

Do with people's hair?

It's Coowahchobee.

He must be here.

Get on the boat.

We're leaving now.

Man, I ought to smack you
right upside your head.

Were leaving now.

Just don't try anything
stupid, Geronimo!

I'm a Ninja!

You're not a Ninja!

I am too!

I studied Ninjutsu
ten years ago!

Both of you shut up
and get on the boat.

How dare you bring
these Conquistadors here?

Coowahchobee kill you all!

No, Coowahchobee!

Please don't kill us!

Oh my God!

[Screams]

You are a disgrace
to the Seminoles!

Die, traitor!

[Screaming]

Coowahchobee like good head!

Fuck, I gotta get out of here.

There's gotta be a freaking
phone in here somewhere.

Please.

Please!

[Whispering]

I'm getting out of here.

[Whispering]

Who's your daddy, bitch?

Coowahchobee give you
shelter and welcome you

To tribe as wife.

But first, you must sacrifice
your foot to the gods

So you don't run away.

I won't sacrifice anything
for you, [inaudible] freak.

The choice is yours.

Either your life or your foot!

Squaw!

Did you lose something?

No, but I found something.

I think it might
be Roselyn's phone.

The last call that was made
on this phone was to 911

And it was only an hour ago.

Maybe she's still nearby.

How do you know
it's Roselyn's phone?

Because she sent me this
message about the chanting.

This is definitely her phone.

Well, just because
it's Roselyn's phone

Doesn't necessarily mean that
she dialed 911 an hour ago.

It was probably Tonya.

Have you seen her?

No, I don't know
where Tonya is.

No.

She's in no condition
to be walking around.

I'm gong to go look for her.

You stay here and wait
while I look for her.

OK.
Fine.

But can you please hurry up?

Slut Carla's a cheerleader.

If John and Carla
were here, then

Roselyn was probably here too.

Hello?

Hello?

Is anyone here?

Hello?

I need help!

Is anyone home?

Oh my God.

This is Ted's place.

This sure will help
me cover some ground.

Let's see how this baby goes.

Ooh.

That's a dirty trick!

Oh, the owl.

Get out of here, owl!

Go on!

Get out!

You will die for consuming
Mother Earth's fossil fuels!

Squaw!

Eat my rubber, you
redskin son of a bitch!

What are you doing?

You think you can just
paddle out of here?

-Yeah, are you going to stop me?
-No.

But why don't you
go back to the cabin

And wait while I
go get the others

And we'll all leave together.

You still don't think
that anything is wrong?

Listen, lady.

Just go back to the cabin
and wait for the others.

No.

I'm leaving.

I'm going back to the highway.

I wouldn't do
that if I were you.

It's a long way and the
Everglades are dangerous.

I'll take my chances.

How did you get out here?

I took your girlfriend
for a ride in the air boat

And Coowahchobee attacked us.

He killed one of the
girls and I don't know

What happened to the other one.

Let me in.

I know the way out.

Why should I trust you?

Ted told us your story
was a lie because you

Don't even have a brother.

Just like I told
your other friends,

Yes I lied about saying
it was my brother.

I didn't want to
seem suspicious,

But it was me who fought
Coowahchobee 20 years ago

And it was my
girlfriend who died.

If you want me to die out
here, that's your choice.

But you may end up
paddling for days.

And without any knowledge of how
to live off the land out here,

You will die out here as well.

OK.

Just-- just get in.

Just get me out of here.

Let's go.

Lets get out of here.

Do you hear that?

I think I hear a truck.

We must be near the highway.

Here's dry land.

[Snake rattle]

That might be a trucker.

He could help us.

Come on.

There's an SUV halfway
between us and him.

Let's go see if we can hot-wire
it and get out of here quickly.

No way.
I'm going to stay here and hide.

Come on!
Come on!

No!

Come with me!

All right.

[Screaming]

Coowahchobee!

[Screaming]

Sandy, come back.

Ron is dead.

I caught him with
pictures of my dead wife

And other Indian artifacts.

With Ron dead,
Coowahchobee is gone.

Help!

Help!

You're safe.

Come out.

Is that you?

Help me, I can't hear you!

I was kidnapped by an
Indian and put in a cage.

Help me!

You must help me!

Roselyn?

Roselyn, is that you?

Roselyn, it's me, Sandy!

Sandy?

[Scream]

Roselyn!

Roselyn, help me!

My foot is-- my foot is stuck!

Sandy!

Is that you?

Roselyn!

Oh my God!

Where have you been?

Oh my God.

I was so worried about you.

You saved my life.

I was kidnapped
by Coowahchobee.

I was put in a cage and
made to be his wife.

Nobody believed me that
you were in trouble.

They all tried to convince
me that you left with John.

John and Carla are dead.

[Whispering]

[Screams]

White Rain gone dry.

Til death do us part,
as you people say.

Coowahchobee want a divorce.

You are so beautiful,
White Rain.

Is it too late to take
Coowahchobee back?

You still owe Coowahchobee
beaver pelt for that dress.

But first I go kill
squirrel that run away.

[Laughter]

It's that truck.

Oh [inaudible].

Maybe it's open.

Shit.

Hey you!

Give me the keys to your truck.

Ted's gonna kill us both if
you don't give me the keys

And we get out of here.

Listen, bitch!

Give me the keys!

Oh my God.

Gross.

Oh my God.

Shit.

[Grunting]

Stay away from Coowahchobee's
house or Coowahchobee kill you!

He's coming!

Coowahchobee loves Rose.

Get away from my wife!

Your wife is burning in Hell!

No!

Rose, I'll save you!

Rose, don't die!

Rose!

I will die with you, Rose.

Coowahchobee love Rose!

[Screaming]

[Whispering]

Hi sweetie.

Can I get you anything to drink?

Roselyn.

What are you doing here?

I'm sorry, you
must be mistaken.

My name is Kim.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

I just mistook you
for an old friend.

No problem.

Do you know when we can
get back in the water?

Hold on one second.

I'll ask our old pool man.

Hey Ted.

When do you think we can
go back in this water?

The water?

The water is fine!

[Screams]

What in tarnation?

I hear monkey business!

Awesome.

You need that again?

You're good.

Don't move, don't move.

It's warmer right here.

Did you pee in the water?

Do you think it's the same one?

You're supposed
to say don't worry.

You're going backwards.

[Laughter]

Hold on, I can't stop laughing.

I know one thing
about John's thing.

Wait, wait, wait.

That was stupid of me.

That was all right.

Coowahchobee!

He must be here.

Ha ha ha!

I don't know what to do.

Thanks for the advice!

Love you.

Take care.

I forgot to scream.

[Screaming]