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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,010 --> 00:00:02,080 MAN ON TV: Now, Junior, now! He's got... 2 00:00:02,100 --> 00:00:03,813 WALLY: [laughing] 3 00:00:03,834 --> 00:00:05,106 [gunfire] 4 00:00:05,128 --> 00:00:06,448 WALLY: [laughing] Future! 5 00:00:06,470 --> 00:00:07,952 OFFICER: He's from the future? 6 00:00:08,053 --> 00:00:09,329 [laughs] 7 00:00:09,429 --> 00:00:12,774 - What's so funny? - Oh, I love this episode. 8 00:00:12,870 --> 00:00:14,870 - It's funny. - Ah, shit. 9 00:00:14,969 --> 00:00:16,969 - What? - Nora, your neck! 10 00:00:17,068 --> 00:00:18,344 WALLY: Quiet, Ma. 11 00:00:18,445 --> 00:00:20,214 Oh, no, I just got a little... I think it's a little 12 00:00:20,234 --> 00:00:21,199 mosquito bite or something. 13 00:00:21,301 --> 00:00:23,680 - Ah, no mosquito can do that. - Look. 14 00:00:23,778 --> 00:00:26,709 - WALLY: Hey, hey, stop it! - GRANDMA: No, look. 15 00:00:26,806 --> 00:00:28,875 - Ah! Whoa! - Hey. 16 00:00:28,973 --> 00:00:31,491 NORA: Holy shit! Oh, oh, oh. 17 00:00:31,589 --> 00:00:33,082 - Dad. Dad. Look. - Will you keep it down? 18 00:00:33,102 --> 00:00:34,492 - What is it? - Look, look, look, look. 19 00:00:34,513 --> 00:00:37,686 - Ahhhh! - Ahhh! 20 00:00:37,782 --> 00:00:40,782 Ew! Why does it look like Texas? 21 00:00:40,879 --> 00:00:42,810 Galveston Bay, Dallas, Fort Worth, 22 00:00:42,909 --> 00:00:44,323 Lubbock, it's Texas. 23 00:00:44,423 --> 00:00:49,975 ? 24 00:00:52,819 --> 00:00:54,036 - [in Texas accent] - GRANDMA: Ah, dear, 25 00:00:54,058 --> 00:00:56,058 it looks like shingles to me. 26 00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:57,812 Stop doing a Texas accent. 27 00:00:57,911 --> 00:00:59,739 How does one even get shingles nowadays? 28 00:00:59,838 --> 00:01:01,701 Oh, you'd be surprised. 29 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:04,524 Stress, diet, lifestyle. 30 00:01:04,622 --> 00:01:06,553 They can all cause shingles. 31 00:01:06,652 --> 00:01:09,824 Anybody who's had chicken pox can have the shingles, princess. 32 00:01:09,921 --> 00:01:11,231 I didn't have chicken pox. 33 00:01:11,332 --> 00:01:14,125 Uh, yeah, you came home with it the same day 34 00:01:14,221 --> 00:01:16,049 there was an earthquake in Queens. 35 00:01:16,148 --> 00:01:18,355 No, I don't remember an earthquake in Queens, no. 36 00:01:18,454 --> 00:01:20,867 Yes, it was 2003. 37 00:01:20,966 --> 00:01:24,587 I was making dinner and getting ready to watch "Judge Judy" 38 00:01:24,682 --> 00:01:26,820 when everything started shaking. 39 00:01:26,918 --> 00:01:29,056 No, I don't remember that. 40 00:01:29,156 --> 00:01:31,406 Do you think that memory loss is a side of the shingle? 41 00:01:31,461 --> 00:01:34,599 Oh, will you relax and go to urgent care? 42 00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:37,454 I'm dying, father. 43 00:01:37,552 --> 00:01:38,752 I'm dying. 44 00:01:38,824 --> 00:01:41,893 Well, perhaps this a good time to talk about 45 00:01:41,990 --> 00:01:43,955 living a healthier lifestyle. 46 00:01:44,949 --> 00:01:46,605 I do live a healthy lifestyle. 47 00:01:46,704 --> 00:01:48,256 I had a zucchini yesterday. 48 00:01:48,356 --> 00:01:52,391 And also, my immune system's like so good, dude. 49 00:01:52,485 --> 00:01:53,795 Yeah. 50 00:01:53,896 --> 00:01:55,872 I'm just gonna recover without the Western medical system. 51 00:01:55,891 --> 00:01:59,132 I'm gonna do the hol... [pops] 52 00:02:00,915 --> 00:02:01,915 [spits] 53 00:02:02,016 --> 00:02:04,568 Ah, is that a tooth? 54 00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:06,011 Uh, do you have to call ahead, 55 00:02:06,111 --> 00:02:07,180 or is it more of a walk-in? 56 00:02:07,281 --> 00:02:09,384 ? 57 00:02:11,307 --> 00:02:13,859 [siren wails] 58 00:02:13,956 --> 00:02:15,922 [coughing] 59 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:24,015 Hi, I've come to consult a doctor about, um... well, 60 00:02:24,107 --> 00:02:25,762 a potpourri of things. 61 00:02:25,861 --> 00:02:29,413 Sign in on the tablet. 62 00:02:29,510 --> 00:02:30,710 High-tech, huh? 63 00:02:30,748 --> 00:02:32,851 Do you have Candy Crush on here? [laughs] 64 00:02:34,842 --> 00:02:38,463 Are you sexually active? 65 00:02:38,558 --> 00:02:40,041 Yes. 66 00:02:40,142 --> 00:02:41,521 - That's nice. - Thank you. 67 00:02:41,621 --> 00:02:44,449 ? 68 00:02:46,431 --> 00:02:52,505 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 69 00:02:54,112 --> 00:02:55,329 Will you take a seat, please? 70 00:02:55,350 --> 00:02:57,005 Yeah, and those are true, for sure. 71 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:00,920 [clears throat] 72 00:03:03,849 --> 00:03:05,573 Hi. What are you in for? 73 00:03:05,673 --> 00:03:06,604 A double homicide? 74 00:03:06,705 --> 00:03:11,016 BOTH: [laughing] 75 00:03:12,624 --> 00:03:15,245 - You're funny. - Thanks. 76 00:03:15,343 --> 00:03:18,136 Long story short, I swallowed a key. 77 00:03:18,233 --> 00:03:19,268 Oh, ouch. 78 00:03:19,368 --> 00:03:21,989 - Yeah, yeah. - And a little bit of hair. 79 00:03:22,086 --> 00:03:23,983 - But don't worry, it was human. - Okay. 80 00:03:24,082 --> 00:03:26,634 Fun fact, did you know that DNA can be stored in human hair 81 00:03:26,731 --> 00:03:28,352 for up to ten years? 82 00:03:28,452 --> 00:03:30,384 I don't know if that's like the fun-est fact, 83 00:03:30,482 --> 00:03:31,482 but that's cool. 84 00:03:31,583 --> 00:03:34,308 - I'm Greta, by the way. - Oh, Greta. Yeah. 85 00:03:34,405 --> 00:03:37,750 Like that awesome climate change girl, right? 86 00:03:37,846 --> 00:03:42,536 That like hoodied... vegan emo prophet? 87 00:03:42,628 --> 00:03:43,663 Okay. 88 00:03:43,764 --> 00:03:45,316 No, I'm nothing like her. 89 00:03:45,416 --> 00:03:47,003 - She's a shero. - A shero? 90 00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:48,516 - NURSE: Nora Lin? - Yes. 91 00:03:48,616 --> 00:03:50,799 - Thank... so nice to meet you. - GRETA: Nice to meet you too. 92 00:03:50,818 --> 00:03:54,887 And I hope that you... shit out the key 93 00:03:54,982 --> 00:03:57,499 without pain and suffering. 94 00:03:57,596 --> 00:03:58,700 Bye, girl. 95 00:03:58,801 --> 00:04:00,008 [door closes] 96 00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:01,729 - My own room? - Mm-hmm. 97 00:04:01,829 --> 00:04:04,691 For moi? Wow. 98 00:04:04,788 --> 00:04:06,892 Okay, you're gonna put this gown on. 99 00:04:06,990 --> 00:04:11,507 It's gonna open in the back. Mm-hmm. 100 00:04:11,602 --> 00:04:13,912 It's like those reusable tote. 101 00:04:14,010 --> 00:04:16,458 Actually, you need to take your clothes off 102 00:04:16,556 --> 00:04:18,522 to put the robe on. 103 00:04:18,621 --> 00:04:19,690 Naked? 104 00:04:19,791 --> 00:04:21,208 - I'll give you some privacy. - No. 105 00:04:24,505 --> 00:04:26,919 ? Uh, hey, Dirty. What? ? 106 00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:29,465 ? Look at that girl right thurr. She make me say ? 107 00:04:29,563 --> 00:04:31,908 ? I like the way you do that right thurr, right thurr ? 108 00:04:32,006 --> 00:04:33,224 ? Swing your hips when your walkin' ? 109 00:04:33,245 --> 00:04:34,634 ? Let down your hurr, down your hurr ? 110 00:04:34,655 --> 00:04:37,173 ? I like the way you do that right thurr, right thurr ? 111 00:04:37,271 --> 00:04:40,581 ? Lick your lips when your talkin', that make me sturr ?? 112 00:04:40,677 --> 00:04:41,573 Hi, Doctor. 113 00:04:41,675 --> 00:04:43,054 Hello, Miss. Oh, dear. 114 00:04:43,155 --> 00:04:45,017 That's supposed to be open to the back. 115 00:04:45,116 --> 00:04:47,368 Oh, I thought it was open from the front, like it is now. 116 00:04:47,387 --> 00:04:48,587 - Uh... - Oh. 117 00:04:48,660 --> 00:04:50,050 - No worries at all. - Oh, my bush! 118 00:04:50,071 --> 00:04:52,726 Oh my God, I'm sorry. [Laughs] 119 00:04:52,824 --> 00:04:54,100 Let's just close it up. 120 00:04:54,201 --> 00:04:55,763 I haven't done a little snip-snip in a while. 121 00:04:55,783 --> 00:04:57,024 Couple years. 122 00:04:57,125 --> 00:05:00,262 Fortunately, not maintained as... like your beard. 123 00:05:00,359 --> 00:05:03,497 So, looks like you're coming in today for... 124 00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:05,491 - Shingles. - Calcified heart valve. 125 00:05:05,589 --> 00:05:07,865 - What? - Oh, let's get you an MRI. 126 00:05:07,964 --> 00:05:10,653 I... I came here for a rash, not a heart problem. 127 00:05:10,751 --> 00:05:12,785 Your chart says heart problem. 128 00:05:12,885 --> 00:05:15,092 Let's get you in the tube. 129 00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:16,983 The tube. 130 00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:18,324 ? 131 00:05:18,424 --> 00:05:21,907 Um, I'm just a little nervous, 'cause it's like a lot, 132 00:05:22,003 --> 00:05:24,244 but, um, it's not gonna be crazy, is it? 133 00:05:24,342 --> 00:05:26,515 Not at all. 134 00:05:26,613 --> 00:05:28,131 [machine whirs] 135 00:05:28,231 --> 00:05:29,431 It won't hurt, right? 136 00:05:29,469 --> 00:05:33,090 [machine whirs] 137 00:05:34,941 --> 00:05:35,872 Oh wow. 138 00:05:35,973 --> 00:05:37,731 It's like a music video up in here. 139 00:05:37,831 --> 00:05:39,841 - [machine vibrates] - That's a... what... what... 140 00:05:39,861 --> 00:05:42,171 Hey, hey, hey, hey! Is this normal? 141 00:05:42,270 --> 00:05:43,787 Is this normal?! 142 00:05:43,887 --> 00:05:45,231 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 143 00:05:45,332 --> 00:05:47,194 Oh, oh, oh no, oh dear. 144 00:05:47,293 --> 00:05:49,293 Oooh, oooh, oooh! Shit! 145 00:05:53,384 --> 00:05:56,039 [dog barking] 146 00:05:56,136 --> 00:06:00,068 [birds chirping] 147 00:06:05,978 --> 00:06:11,288 ? 148 00:06:13,995 --> 00:06:15,195 Oh. 149 00:06:15,233 --> 00:06:16,854 Hello. 150 00:06:16,955 --> 00:06:21,230 ? 151 00:06:22,907 --> 00:06:24,183 Ugh. 152 00:06:24,283 --> 00:06:30,076 ? 153 00:06:30,168 --> 00:06:31,513 NORA: A VW Bug? 154 00:06:31,612 --> 00:06:33,543 You don't see enough of those anymore. 155 00:06:34,848 --> 00:06:37,123 [indistinct rap music plays] 156 00:06:37,222 --> 00:06:39,670 - Watch where you're going. - Watch where you're going. 157 00:06:39,768 --> 00:06:41,354 ? I was gonna pay my child support ? 158 00:06:41,453 --> 00:06:43,074 With a first generation iPod. 159 00:06:43,174 --> 00:06:44,830 IPod one. 160 00:06:44,929 --> 00:06:47,101 - MAN: This is brand-new. - Dumb ol' bitch. 161 00:06:49,058 --> 00:06:52,713 ? 162 00:06:54,563 --> 00:06:56,253 NORA: Nokias. 163 00:06:56,353 --> 00:06:57,767 They're all using Nokias. 164 00:06:57,867 --> 00:06:59,936 ? 165 00:07:00,035 --> 00:07:01,138 Wait. 166 00:07:01,239 --> 00:07:06,687 ? 167 00:07:06,779 --> 00:07:09,572 NORA: Uh, oh my God, it's 2003! 168 00:07:10,633 --> 00:07:13,357 - 'Sup, Slut. - It's you. 169 00:07:13,454 --> 00:07:15,971 Yes. Where are we? 170 00:07:16,070 --> 00:07:18,173 2003. 171 00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:20,582 But Queens looks the same. 172 00:07:22,951 --> 00:07:24,848 But how did we end up in 2003? 173 00:07:24,947 --> 00:07:27,085 I don't know. 174 00:07:27,184 --> 00:07:30,908 I was in the MRI machine, the earthquake happened. 175 00:07:31,003 --> 00:07:33,693 It must have like ripped a hole in the space-time continuum? 176 00:07:33,791 --> 00:07:35,204 Yeah, but I wasn't in the MRI. 177 00:07:35,304 --> 00:07:38,821 I was like taking a number two, so why am I here too? 178 00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:41,952 Well... maybe... maybe you were like on the other side 179 00:07:42,048 --> 00:07:44,600 - of the wall or... - Yeah. 180 00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:46,777 - Yeah, that's make total sense. - Yeah, it does, yeah. 181 00:07:46,797 --> 00:07:48,556 No further explanation needed. 182 00:07:48,655 --> 00:07:51,828 - Well, just... - Wait, is that a video store? 183 00:07:51,924 --> 00:07:53,303 - Ahhh! - ? Making my way downtown 184 00:07:53,404 --> 00:07:54,680 ? Walking fast 185 00:07:54,780 --> 00:07:56,849 We should... we should finish talking about this. 186 00:07:56,947 --> 00:07:58,223 [doorbell rings] 187 00:07:58,324 --> 00:08:00,807 Oh my God, I haven't been to one of these in so long. 188 00:08:00,905 --> 00:08:04,457 Yeah. 189 00:08:04,552 --> 00:08:08,000 Girl, "The Whores." 190 00:08:08,096 --> 00:08:10,199 "The Hours." "The Hours." 191 00:08:10,299 --> 00:08:12,575 - So good. - NORA: Yeah, love it. 192 00:08:12,673 --> 00:08:16,121 Wait. Do you guys watch this on Christmas? 193 00:08:16,217 --> 00:08:17,251 "The Tuxedo"? No. 194 00:08:17,353 --> 00:08:19,077 Um, "A Christmas Story." 195 00:08:19,176 --> 00:08:20,590 - So good. - NORA: Really good. 196 00:08:20,690 --> 00:08:21,941 GRETA: Wait, do you remember this movie, 197 00:08:21,963 --> 00:08:24,998 where he like fucks a pie and is like urg-urg-urg. 198 00:08:25,094 --> 00:08:27,719 And then like the dad comes in, but he's like also really horny? 199 00:08:27,812 --> 00:08:31,088 And then he has those really thick eyebrows. 200 00:08:31,185 --> 00:08:32,047 - Yes. - [gasps] 201 00:08:32,148 --> 00:08:33,769 Oh my God, "Fruitopia." 202 00:08:33,868 --> 00:08:37,282 Oh my God, I love... that is such a throwback 203 00:08:37,379 --> 00:08:38,482 - right there. - GRETA: Right? 204 00:08:38,583 --> 00:08:41,134 - I love this era. - Yeah. 205 00:08:41,233 --> 00:08:44,302 - Oh my God, Doritos 3D! - Doritos 3D! 206 00:08:44,398 --> 00:08:47,157 And... and... and AIM, instant messaging on AIM. 207 00:08:47,254 --> 00:08:48,909 - Evanescence! - Baby G watches. 208 00:08:49,009 --> 00:08:52,388 The muffled gasps of someone's last breath! 209 00:08:52,485 --> 00:08:55,450 - What? - I said "NCIS." 210 00:08:55,547 --> 00:08:57,374 - "NCIS," yeah. - So good. [Giggles] 211 00:08:57,474 --> 00:08:59,439 - Oh, yeah. - [nervous laughs] 212 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,435 Oh my God, I have an amazing idea. 213 00:09:01,534 --> 00:09:03,637 - Shit, yeah, what? - Ssh, come with me. 214 00:09:03,736 --> 00:09:08,840 ? 215 00:09:10,618 --> 00:09:12,170 Okay, so in time travel movies, 216 00:09:12,269 --> 00:09:14,407 - they always go to a library. - Yeah. 217 00:09:14,507 --> 00:09:15,576 We should find a librarian. 218 00:09:15,676 --> 00:09:17,504 They're like the elf, but for knowledge. 219 00:09:17,603 --> 00:09:19,982 - I know what a librarian is. - Oh. 220 00:09:20,081 --> 00:09:22,391 Here we go, science. 221 00:09:22,489 --> 00:09:24,971 Oh, look how big the computers are. 222 00:09:25,070 --> 00:09:26,932 Ugh. 223 00:09:27,031 --> 00:09:28,231 Science fiction. 224 00:09:28,270 --> 00:09:31,235 Okay, so this is where we're gonna find out about 225 00:09:31,333 --> 00:09:33,091 time travel, because it's knowledge. 226 00:09:33,191 --> 00:09:34,512 Do you know what fiction means? 227 00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:36,395 - Truth. - No, it doesn't mean... 228 00:09:36,494 --> 00:09:37,942 - Science truth! - No! 229 00:09:38,042 --> 00:09:39,490 - What are you talking... - Sssh! 230 00:09:39,591 --> 00:09:43,073 Okay, this is the library, not a duck rodeo. 231 00:09:43,169 --> 00:09:45,134 - So sorry, library lady. - Sorry. 232 00:09:45,234 --> 00:09:47,647 - But, hey. Quick Q. - We don't need to. 233 00:09:47,746 --> 00:09:49,274 - We don't need to bring her in. - Quick Q. 234 00:09:49,294 --> 00:09:50,707 Yeah. 235 00:09:50,808 --> 00:09:53,142 Theoretically, if you were to like travel back in time. 236 00:09:53,182 --> 00:09:54,975 - Uh-huh. - What would you do? 237 00:09:55,075 --> 00:09:57,764 Weird question but, um... 238 00:09:57,862 --> 00:10:01,207 Well, I'd definitely go back and visit my younger self and warn 239 00:10:01,303 --> 00:10:03,545 her about all the mistakes that I made, 240 00:10:03,643 --> 00:10:05,919 and hopefully she wouldn't make them. 241 00:10:06,017 --> 00:10:07,535 Oh my God, that is a great idea. 242 00:10:07,634 --> 00:10:09,531 Right? I would definitely tell her 243 00:10:09,630 --> 00:10:11,733 not to get hammered every single night 244 00:10:11,832 --> 00:10:14,763 and destroy her sinuses with cocaine and not to 245 00:10:14,860 --> 00:10:20,309 constantly live so hard and get so wasted all the time. 246 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:24,572 And not to do every single adult film you're offered. 247 00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:26,505 Oh, are you an adult... are you an adult film star? 248 00:10:26,525 --> 00:10:29,939 [chuckles] You... you guys don't recognize me? 249 00:10:30,034 --> 00:10:32,172 - GRETA: No. - I'm Connie Linguist. 250 00:10:32,271 --> 00:10:33,719 Connie Linguist? 251 00:10:33,819 --> 00:10:37,647 I speak nine languages, and I mean... which is why I've been 252 00:10:37,742 --> 00:10:39,087 working here, but... wait, 253 00:10:39,188 --> 00:10:40,888 - oh my God, are you okay? - Yeah, I'm okay. 254 00:10:40,908 --> 00:10:43,242 - Well, don't look at it. - No, it just looks like Texas. 255 00:10:43,282 --> 00:10:44,568 - I know. - Okay, I'm just saying. 256 00:10:44,589 --> 00:10:46,589 - I'm aware. - We have a Texas section. 257 00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:49,068 - Okay, Nora. Let's go! - Okay. 258 00:10:49,166 --> 00:10:50,486 Let's go talk to our younger selves! 259 00:10:50,507 --> 00:10:52,208 Wait, do you guys need any... can I come with you guys? 260 00:10:52,229 --> 00:10:53,815 - No. - Why? 261 00:10:53,914 --> 00:10:56,466 Wait, I forgot to tell you. 262 00:10:56,564 --> 00:10:59,875 The main rule of time travel is not to mess with the past. 263 00:10:59,970 --> 00:11:01,556 - MAN: [coughs] - Ssshhh! 264 00:11:01,657 --> 00:11:04,795 ? 265 00:11:04,891 --> 00:11:07,409 [siren wails] 266 00:11:10,259 --> 00:11:12,776 NORA: Jesus, my grandma looks the same. 267 00:11:12,874 --> 00:11:14,392 Man, they really haven't changed. 268 00:11:14,491 --> 00:11:16,250 [laughs] Oh my God, your dad bent over, 269 00:11:16,349 --> 00:11:17,911 and I could see the outline of his peeny. 270 00:11:17,932 --> 00:11:19,139 NORA: Oh. 271 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:21,378 - GRETA: Oh yeah, hey, Daddy. - NORA: Okay. 272 00:11:23,403 --> 00:11:26,955 Oh my... oh my God, I think that's... I think that's my bike. 273 00:11:27,050 --> 00:11:29,223 I think that's me. Stay... stay there! 274 00:11:30,801 --> 00:11:32,732 Hey. Howdy doody. 275 00:11:32,831 --> 00:11:34,187 It's okay, it's good. I'll give you space. 276 00:11:34,208 --> 00:11:36,173 I'm just... I come in peace. 277 00:11:37,202 --> 00:11:39,443 I need you to listen to me. 278 00:11:39,541 --> 00:11:41,921 I'm you 16 years into the future. 279 00:11:42,018 --> 00:11:43,511 So, please, listen to what I'm saying. 280 00:11:43,532 --> 00:11:45,612 Uh, you... you right now, you think that you're gonna grow up 281 00:11:45,632 --> 00:11:47,608 to be like an astronaut, like one of the... not the lady that 282 00:11:47,627 --> 00:11:49,248 drove across country in the diaper, 283 00:11:49,348 --> 00:11:51,176 but like a real cool astronaut. 284 00:11:51,275 --> 00:11:53,206 And you think you're gonna be a business bitch. 285 00:11:53,305 --> 00:11:55,615 And you think you're gonna be married to Devon Sawa. 286 00:11:55,713 --> 00:12:00,300 But unless you change right now, you're gonna end up 287 00:12:00,393 --> 00:12:03,979 a 28-year-old fuck-up that still lives up in there. 288 00:12:04,075 --> 00:12:05,488 Oh, okay. 289 00:12:05,589 --> 00:12:08,072 And, uh, you should smoke a lot less weed. 290 00:12:08,170 --> 00:12:09,446 Like a lot... a lot less. 291 00:12:09,546 --> 00:12:13,133 Also, you're gonna... you're gonna poop in a hot tub 292 00:12:13,228 --> 00:12:15,090 assuming that it goes to the bottom. 293 00:12:15,190 --> 00:12:17,259 It comes back to the top. 294 00:12:17,357 --> 00:12:20,702 ? 295 00:12:20,798 --> 00:12:22,419 It's unsinkable, okay? 296 00:12:22,518 --> 00:12:24,760 Hey, girl, your dad's about to come outside. 297 00:12:24,858 --> 00:12:27,479 Okay. And... and you're 298 00:12:27,576 --> 00:12:29,059 gonna feel like a loser sometimes. 299 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,067 And you're gonna be jealous of people. Don't be. 300 00:12:31,087 --> 00:12:33,087 - Just live in the present. - Okay. 301 00:12:33,185 --> 00:12:35,668 Come on, let's go. Let's go. 302 00:12:35,766 --> 00:12:37,766 Airbnb, Uber, bitcoin! 303 00:12:37,865 --> 00:12:39,220 The marijuana industry in general. 304 00:12:39,241 --> 00:12:42,138 Don't forget that, that poop sinks to the top! 305 00:12:43,817 --> 00:12:46,817 ? 306 00:12:46,915 --> 00:12:48,777 GRETA: So this is my house. 307 00:12:48,876 --> 00:12:50,128 NORA: Wow, you're really rich. 308 00:12:50,149 --> 00:12:52,666 Yeah, but then in 2008, we go into foreclosure. 309 00:12:52,764 --> 00:12:54,281 Oh geesh. 310 00:12:56,205 --> 00:12:57,757 Nora, I love us. 311 00:12:57,856 --> 00:12:59,546 We're like Harold and Kumar. 312 00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:00,888 We're like what? 313 00:13:00,988 --> 00:13:02,540 Harold and Kumar. 314 00:13:03,465 --> 00:13:06,534 Yeah, um, like in what way? 315 00:13:06,631 --> 00:13:08,976 Like you're Asian. 316 00:13:09,074 --> 00:13:10,074 Right, but... 317 00:13:10,175 --> 00:13:12,658 And we're on a goofy adventure. 318 00:13:12,756 --> 00:13:13,956 Yeah, but you're White. 319 00:13:14,029 --> 00:13:15,719 Oh my God, I know, right? 320 00:13:18,365 --> 00:13:20,710 Aw, there I am as a baby. 321 00:13:20,807 --> 00:13:23,876 NORA: Oh, babies. 322 00:13:23,974 --> 00:13:27,698 You know, at first I wasn't sure I even wanted to be here 323 00:13:27,792 --> 00:13:29,171 or meet my younger self. 324 00:13:29,272 --> 00:13:32,858 But... I'm really glad that we're here. 325 00:13:32,954 --> 00:13:36,195 Yeah, it's really... it's nice, yeah. 326 00:13:36,291 --> 00:13:37,809 Yeah. 327 00:13:37,909 --> 00:13:41,633 Oh, Judy Clock. 328 00:13:41,729 --> 00:13:45,142 Man, this thing used to teach me how to tell time. 329 00:13:45,238 --> 00:13:48,066 - [gasps] I... - [baby babbling] 330 00:13:48,163 --> 00:13:51,370 Whoa, why are your toys all fucked up? 331 00:13:51,466 --> 00:13:52,846 [grunts] 332 00:13:52,946 --> 00:13:54,463 ? 333 00:13:54,563 --> 00:13:56,735 What... what... what'd you do with the baby? 334 00:13:56,834 --> 00:13:58,489 I just saved 63 lives. 335 00:13:58,589 --> 00:14:00,106 You're a serial killer? 336 00:14:00,206 --> 00:14:01,896 You'll always be my Kumar! 337 00:14:01,995 --> 00:14:03,547 I would be Harold! 338 00:14:03,647 --> 00:14:05,647 ? 339 00:14:05,746 --> 00:14:07,918 Oh my God! Oh my God, she just Looper-ed herself. 340 00:14:08,018 --> 00:14:10,500 She just Looper-ed herself. Shit. 341 00:14:10,598 --> 00:14:16,115 ? 342 00:14:16,206 --> 00:14:18,482 It wasn't me. It wasn't me. 343 00:14:18,581 --> 00:14:20,477 Oh God, Greta? 344 00:14:23,364 --> 00:14:29,157 ? 345 00:14:29,247 --> 00:14:31,765 - NORA: Oh shit. - Hey! What's new? 346 00:14:31,863 --> 00:14:33,484 Okay, I'm gonna come clean with ya. 347 00:14:33,583 --> 00:14:36,135 I'm just gonna come clean. I am a time traveler. 348 00:14:36,232 --> 00:14:38,612 - Oh, yeah, I... - Really. No, really. 349 00:14:38,710 --> 00:14:40,089 - I thought so. - Okay. 350 00:14:40,190 --> 00:14:42,062 - I thought something, yeah. - Good, and I need to go back. 351 00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:43,610 I need to go back. I need to go back 352 00:14:43,630 --> 00:14:46,009 - to the future. - Uh-huh. 353 00:14:46,108 --> 00:14:49,142 And my grandma said there was an earthquake that happened 354 00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:51,585 right before "Judge Judy" on this day. 355 00:14:51,682 --> 00:14:54,130 - And I have... - [gasps] "Judge Judy"? 356 00:14:54,229 --> 00:14:55,446 Oh my God, it's on in an hour. 357 00:14:55,467 --> 00:14:57,051 I have to go back to the urgent care. 358 00:14:57,119 --> 00:14:58,406 I have to go back to the urgent care. 359 00:14:58,427 --> 00:14:59,289 Wait, wait, where's your friend? 360 00:14:59,390 --> 00:15:01,701 - She Looper-ed herself. - Oh, wow. 361 00:15:01,799 --> 00:15:03,040 Is she gonna get antibiotics? 362 00:15:03,141 --> 00:15:04,934 No, "Looper" is a movie from the future. 363 00:15:05,033 --> 00:15:07,930 I actually did an adult film about time travel, 364 00:15:08,026 --> 00:15:09,382 and it was called "Back to the Pooper." 365 00:15:09,403 --> 00:15:11,748 And it's really some of my finest work. 366 00:15:11,846 --> 00:15:14,605 But you know that if you change the past, 367 00:15:14,702 --> 00:15:16,952 then you could change the future in ways that you can't 368 00:15:17,007 --> 00:15:19,076 even predict, you know, like you could just knock 369 00:15:19,176 --> 00:15:22,176 on your family's door, and they could all be dead. 370 00:15:22,272 --> 00:15:23,559 Not just like knock on their door. 371 00:15:23,580 --> 00:15:25,705 But you didn't talk to yourself, right? You just... 372 00:15:25,748 --> 00:15:27,886 I did have a bit of a chat. 373 00:15:27,984 --> 00:15:29,398 - Eee. - Why? 374 00:15:29,499 --> 00:15:32,775 - Your rash is gone, congrats. - No, it's gone? 375 00:15:32,870 --> 00:15:34,456 - Yeah. - It's... no, it's imposs... 376 00:15:34,557 --> 00:15:35,936 - That's good. - It's not good! 377 00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:37,495 - Why? - Because I changed the past. 378 00:15:37,515 --> 00:15:40,008 - Oh my God, you have to see... - I have to go talk to myself 379 00:15:40,027 --> 00:15:41,279 - and undo the past... - a clip of... here, 380 00:15:41,300 --> 00:15:43,921 "Back To The Pooper," it's right here. Come on. 381 00:15:44,018 --> 00:15:46,915 - [moans and farts] - Oh, oh, wow. 382 00:15:47,012 --> 00:15:50,806 Wha... oh my God, that's me! They think I... 383 00:15:50,901 --> 00:15:52,526 Oh my God, you better get out of here. 384 00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:53,759 - I have to go. - Okay. 385 00:15:53,859 --> 00:15:55,422 Well, say hi to your friend. She's really cute. 386 00:15:55,443 --> 00:15:58,753 ? 387 00:16:01,740 --> 00:16:03,464 NORA: Dad? Grandma? 388 00:16:03,564 --> 00:16:04,495 Oh my God, they're gone! 389 00:16:04,596 --> 00:16:06,217 [horn beeps] 390 00:16:08,656 --> 00:16:12,173 - Where's Grandma? - She's dead. 391 00:16:12,269 --> 00:16:13,717 Oh my God. 392 00:16:13,817 --> 00:16:15,207 Oh my God, I should have never talked to you. 393 00:16:15,228 --> 00:16:17,470 - I Looper-ed my own family. - [bell dings] 394 00:16:17,568 --> 00:16:19,189 What's up? 395 00:16:19,288 --> 00:16:20,788 Ew, get away, you have chicken pox. 396 00:16:20,837 --> 00:16:22,285 No, you do. 397 00:16:22,386 --> 00:16:23,627 ? 398 00:16:23,728 --> 00:16:26,486 Wait a minute, which one's me? I don't 399 00:16:26,584 --> 00:16:28,790 [siren wails] I need the bike. 400 00:16:28,889 --> 00:16:30,337 - No! - Give me the bike, come on. 401 00:16:30,437 --> 00:16:31,919 - No! No! - Come on! Come on! 402 00:16:32,020 --> 00:16:35,606 ? You, don't wanna be just like you ? 403 00:16:35,702 --> 00:16:37,908 Shit, it's a tanning salon in 2003. 404 00:16:38,007 --> 00:16:41,455 ? 405 00:16:41,552 --> 00:16:43,621 Hello, how can I help you? 406 00:16:43,719 --> 00:16:44,926 Hello. 407 00:16:45,026 --> 00:16:49,199 I'm looking for an MRI machine, if you have any. 408 00:16:49,293 --> 00:16:50,776 We have two packages. 409 00:16:50,876 --> 00:16:52,842 Our Tahiti Sunkiss, which is 35 minutes 410 00:16:52,940 --> 00:16:54,561 with the coconut lime oil. 411 00:16:54,662 --> 00:16:57,662 Or the Sex On The Beach package that includes an extra 20 412 00:16:57,758 --> 00:16:59,930 minutes and a complimentary toenail separator. 413 00:17:00,029 --> 00:17:01,339 ? 414 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:03,565 Do you know the time? Do you know what time it is? 415 00:17:03,642 --> 00:17:05,366 Do I look like a clock, Connie Chung? 416 00:17:05,466 --> 00:17:06,673 Alright. 417 00:17:06,773 --> 00:17:08,784 That's not... you know, it's un... it's unnecessary. 418 00:17:08,803 --> 00:17:09,872 Wait a second. 419 00:17:09,973 --> 00:17:11,639 You're that homicidal killer on the news. 420 00:17:11,659 --> 00:17:13,245 - No, I'm not. - Yes, you are. 421 00:17:13,346 --> 00:17:15,035 No, I'm not! Oh, shit! 422 00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:19,755 ? 423 00:17:19,849 --> 00:17:22,228 - [gasps] - You there, stop, stop! 424 00:17:22,326 --> 00:17:25,533 ? 425 00:17:25,629 --> 00:17:26,629 Shit. 426 00:17:26,730 --> 00:17:28,696 [banging on door] 427 00:17:28,795 --> 00:17:31,726 [machine beeps] 428 00:17:31,823 --> 00:17:33,892 Alright. Okay. 429 00:17:33,991 --> 00:17:37,681 ? 430 00:17:37,775 --> 00:17:39,051 It's happening! 431 00:17:39,153 --> 00:17:40,394 It's happening! 432 00:17:40,495 --> 00:17:41,908 Dear God, it's happening. 433 00:17:42,008 --> 00:17:44,560 [rattling] 434 00:17:47,823 --> 00:17:49,272 Are you okay? 435 00:17:53,398 --> 00:17:54,846 That was quite a quake, huh? 436 00:17:57,664 --> 00:17:59,492 Is it... is it still 2003? 437 00:17:59,591 --> 00:18:01,154 I don't know what you're talking about, 438 00:18:01,175 --> 00:18:03,106 but major apologies. 439 00:18:03,204 --> 00:18:04,721 We had two Japanese clients in today, 440 00:18:04,822 --> 00:18:06,546 and I confused your file with his. 441 00:18:06,645 --> 00:18:07,990 His? 442 00:18:08,091 --> 00:18:10,383 Yes, a 75-year-old male with congenital heart failure. 443 00:18:10,465 --> 00:18:11,672 I Looper-ed my family. 444 00:18:11,772 --> 00:18:13,841 I Looper-ed my family. I must go. 445 00:18:13,940 --> 00:18:16,733 DOCTOR: But you may have a concussion! 446 00:18:16,830 --> 00:18:20,417 ? 447 00:18:20,512 --> 00:18:22,926 Okay, did anyone see a girl? 448 00:18:23,024 --> 00:18:25,242 That was sitting in that chair and she... and she had swallowed 449 00:18:25,261 --> 00:18:27,123 a key and human hair? 450 00:18:27,222 --> 00:18:30,188 No, but for whatever reason, the world just feels 451 00:18:30,284 --> 00:18:31,836 so much better. 452 00:18:33,140 --> 00:18:34,416 Have a nice day. 453 00:18:34,516 --> 00:18:38,516 ? 454 00:18:43,532 --> 00:18:45,256 - [door opens] - Grandma! 455 00:18:45,356 --> 00:18:47,045 - WALLY: Hey! - Dad! 456 00:18:47,145 --> 00:18:49,214 - WALLY: Oh! - [laughs] 457 00:18:49,313 --> 00:18:50,968 You alright? 458 00:18:51,068 --> 00:18:52,171 [crying] 459 00:18:52,272 --> 00:18:53,547 Oh, it's alright. 460 00:18:53,648 --> 00:18:56,648 [crying] 461 00:18:58,431 --> 00:19:00,638 - You're alive. - Uh, yeah. 462 00:19:00,736 --> 00:19:03,047 The shingles has gone to her brain. 463 00:19:03,145 --> 00:19:04,007 Possibly. 464 00:19:04,109 --> 00:19:05,453 I don't have shingles anymore. 465 00:19:05,554 --> 00:19:10,485 Yeah, it looks like it just migrated over to the other side. 466 00:19:10,577 --> 00:19:12,715 - Yeah, check it out. - Yeah, yeah, 467 00:19:12,814 --> 00:19:15,469 - it looks like Italy now. - Looks like Pangaea. 468 00:19:15,567 --> 00:19:17,774 - Oh, now I feel like pizza. - Yeah. 469 00:19:17,873 --> 00:19:19,459 If I have still have shingles. 470 00:19:19,558 --> 00:19:21,489 - Yeah. - And you two are still here. 471 00:19:21,589 --> 00:19:23,382 - Yeah. - I didn't change the future. 472 00:19:23,481 --> 00:19:25,585 What? 473 00:19:25,683 --> 00:19:27,028 That little girl wasn't me. 474 00:19:27,129 --> 00:19:29,232 - What little girl? - What little girl? 475 00:19:29,331 --> 00:19:32,227 There was a girl outside in 2003. 476 00:19:32,325 --> 00:19:33,576 She had a red bike just like mine. 477 00:19:33,597 --> 00:19:34,873 2003? 478 00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:37,077 Are you talking about that Chen girl? 479 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,934 Oh, that girl that used to hang out in front of our house 480 00:19:40,032 --> 00:19:41,239 all the time. 481 00:19:41,340 --> 00:19:42,719 What a loser. 482 00:19:42,819 --> 00:19:44,612 - I think she moved away. - Yeah. 483 00:19:44,711 --> 00:19:47,746 After the first earthquake, 2003. 484 00:19:47,843 --> 00:19:49,119 What? 485 00:19:50,149 --> 00:19:52,355 I'm just really glad you're alive. 486 00:19:52,454 --> 00:19:54,282 With us. 487 00:19:54,381 --> 00:19:55,874 WALLY: We're glad you're alive, too. 488 00:19:55,894 --> 00:19:58,963 GRANDMA: Yeah. 489 00:19:59,061 --> 00:20:04,233 I had a horrible... weird day that I don't even 490 00:20:04,324 --> 00:20:05,566 know if it really happened. 491 00:20:05,667 --> 00:20:07,254 - Okay. - Okay. 492 00:20:07,353 --> 00:20:09,284 - So I'm gonna go. - Get some rest now. 493 00:20:09,383 --> 00:20:11,211 NORA: Okay. Bye, guys. 494 00:20:11,310 --> 00:20:14,310 - Bye. - WALLY: Bye-byes. 495 00:20:14,407 --> 00:20:17,476 - Oh. - Oh, God! 496 00:20:17,572 --> 00:20:18,779 Is the raccoon back? 497 00:20:21,908 --> 00:20:25,425 [dog barking] 498 00:20:25,521 --> 00:20:27,624 Hey, are you Nora? 499 00:20:27,723 --> 00:20:29,802 I just wanna say thank you for all the advice you gave me 500 00:20:29,822 --> 00:20:31,022 when I was a kid? 501 00:20:33,263 --> 00:20:34,574 Wait, are you... 502 00:20:34,674 --> 00:20:36,788 You spoke to me back in 2003 when I was a little girl. 503 00:20:36,807 --> 00:20:39,255 I've tried to make sense of this ever since. 504 00:20:39,354 --> 00:20:41,595 How you could have predicted all those things. 505 00:20:41,694 --> 00:20:42,556 What things? 506 00:20:42,657 --> 00:20:45,347 You know, Uber, Airbnb, bitcoin. 507 00:20:45,444 --> 00:20:47,789 I never truly understood what any of those words meant 508 00:20:47,887 --> 00:20:50,197 in your rambling speech, until I finally did 509 00:20:50,295 --> 00:20:52,399 - and became a multibillionaire. - A what? 510 00:20:53,427 --> 00:20:55,152 A what? A bi... 511 00:20:55,251 --> 00:20:58,113 I needed to come back here to see if it was all true, 512 00:20:58,209 --> 00:20:59,761 and to thank you. 513 00:21:01,789 --> 00:21:03,030 With money? 514 00:21:03,131 --> 00:21:06,199 Ooh, I don't actually have my purse on me right now. 515 00:21:06,296 --> 00:21:09,158 Wh... wh... you... you could wire at a later date. 516 00:21:09,255 --> 00:21:11,393 I live in the present, Nora. 517 00:21:11,492 --> 00:21:13,492 You taught me that. 518 00:21:13,590 --> 00:21:14,866 You. 519 00:21:17,273 --> 00:21:18,204 Nora? 520 00:21:18,304 --> 00:21:22,684 It's 4, "Judge Judy" is on. 521 00:21:22,778 --> 00:21:25,226 Okay, I'm coming. 522 00:21:25,324 --> 00:21:28,703 [engine revs] 523 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:29,765 NORA: Shit. 524 00:21:32,519 --> 00:21:38,519 ? 525 00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:51,558 ?? 526 00:21:54,110 --> 00:21:55,765 Who the [bleep] is Awkwafina? 527 00:21:55,869 --> 00:21:58,041 ? 528 00:21:58,144 --> 00:22:00,386 ? 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