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Original subtitles

?

? Oh, yeah

? Oh, I feel so good... so good ?

? I feel so good... so good ?

? Let me carry on and be like ?

? Bang bang, skr skr, yah yah, gang gang ?

[alarm rings, vibrates]

? Bang bang, skr skr, yah yah, gang gang ?

? Aw yeah, aw yeah, aw yeah, aw yuh ?

? Bang bang, skr skr, yah yah, gang gang ?

? Bang bang, skr skr, yah yah, gang gang ?

? Aw yeah, aw yeah, aw yeah, aw yuh ?

?

- NORA: Good morning, Gene! - Maggie still mad you?

You better talk to her. I'll see you at lunch.

[elevator dings]

NORA: Get back to work, you guys!

Especially you, Brian! Just kidding.

Hey, what's up, Naomi? How ya doin'?

Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

All right, that's it.

Hey, hey, hey, I remember you from yesterday.

You got my tequila?

[laughter]

He doesn't even know Adobe Premiere.

He has Illustrator, but it's like the demo version.

And then he died!

[group quiets]

- Yeah, no, no, no, don't, no. - No, but no, it was funny.

- Admit it, admit it. - [laughter]

? Get the sugar for the tasting ?

? Bring Dro, see me puffing and passing ?

? Sit back, watch me get...

Hi, guys.

?

[giggling]

?

- What are you looking at? - Nah... ah, no, nothing.

I wasn't star... I wasn't staring at you guys.

Ah, I was staring. But not in a sexual way.

I'm walking. I'm just walking home.

?

- Hey, Nora. What's up? - Hey. Daniel?

- Yeah. - Whoa!

Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yes, okay, yeah.

- Damn. - Yeah.

Nora. This glow up!

No, no. You! You're a glow up.

Look at that. Look at that!

- I got a new job. - Okay.

- I did, yeah. Paralegal. - Nice.

Yeah, you know, Binder and Binder?

"Bihnder and Bihnder."

Oh, no, I know, they do good work,

- but this is "Bynder and Bynder." - Oh.

Anyways, it's just in the meantime while I study

- for law school, so... - NORA: Oh, man, law school.

That's... that's amazing, dude.

Last time I saw you, you were like chasing packages down.

- [laughs] Yeah. - That's good.

Sorry I haven't texted you in a while.

- It's just... - No, that's okay.

But I was thinking about you the other day.

I was in, um, Chinatown, at this bake shop.

They had... that one fruit, you know?

That one fruit that smells like hot zombie ass?

- Durian. - Yes!

Yes, they had durian in there.

- Yes, you hate durian. - I hate it.

I would rather have sex with my grandfather than eat that.

- NORA: Oh, really? - You do... that's a horrible act.

- Honestly... - It's not that bad.

- It is pretty bad. - It's pretty bad.

It's delicious.

You wanna agree to disagree over drinks?

- Right now? - Yeah, why not?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's do it.

- All right, let's go. - NORA: Okay.

DANIEL: It really is that bad, though.

- NORA: No, it... it's... - It's an acquired taste.

DANIEL: Okay, okay.

Well, then how do I acquire the taste?

NORA: You just put it in your mouth.

DANIEL: Okay. Okay, okay.

?

? I hear ya, baby

? You ain't like all the others ?

? When I'm near ya, baby

? It feels like something of another world ?

? Don't mind them ladies

? I ain't no Casanova, no, no

? But if you got time, I'll change your mind ?

? I need to

? It don't take years to find

? That old-fashioned kinda love ?

? I doubt that we're defined by dotted lines ?

? For, forever in the songs I sing ?

? Wherever you may go, I'll be ?

? Whenever you feel lost, I'll... ?

- [zapping] - NORA: Aah!

This is so embarrassing. I... I apologize for this.

DANIEL: Don't worry about it.

Oh. Oh, fuck! My god! Oh!

It's all right, buddy. We're all good.

Don't... don't mess with electrocute-ticity.

I can't believe my legs broke when I got electrocuted.

So crazy.

?

What... what are we doing here?

I wanted to take you where we first met.

Or, not where we first met. Where we re-met.

?

- Oh. Oh! Oh my god. - Oh my god. Oh my god.

Slippyhead. Wake up.

- What? - Slippyhead!

- Time for work soon! - No, no, no!

Nora! Wake up!

Let's just get married right the fuck now!

GRANDMA: Wake up, Nora!

Aah! Aah! Oh, yes! Wah, no!

Oh... I was having a dream.

- You have to go to work! - I... I can hear you!

- Get up. - I am.

Get up.

I'm awake. My eyes are open.

WALLY: Grandma, it's delicious,

but it doesn't exactly build muscle.

Okay? I mean, I love you, but it's...

Uh-oh, somebody's gonna be late... again.

Because Grandma woke me up

on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

- Shame on you, Grandma! - Hey, don't blame it on me.

- I shouldn't be your alarm clock. - Then don't be.

You don't have to be my alarm clock.

There's technology for that now.

Grandma, remember when she thought she could live alone?

- GRANDMA: Oh, yeah. - I don't know how...

I don't even know how she functions.

She's like that chipmunk tornado.

Yeah! What?

It's the Tasmanian Devil, okay?

- A chipmunk is small. - That's what I said.

- Oh, what's the difference? - It's like a mole.

Oh, my god.

GRANDMA: She's got her shirt tucked in her underwear.

Hey, that's my underwear! Yes!

WALLY: You're wearing Grandma's underwear?

No, I'm not wearing Grandma's underwear.

These are my underwears.

I bought these from the .99 store.

- You break it, you buy it. - She's wearing it.

I don't think you're gonna get it back now.

- [sighs] Found it. - Oh, it's the holy vape.

It's camouflage so it's harder to find.

- You need that, don't you? - For work.

Now you can work.

- Yeah, and guess what? - And guess what?

You two are mean-spirited.

- WALLY: Mean-spir... - Oh, come on,

- I'm sorry! - Wash that underwear!

Come back and have some breakfast.

Princess!

?

- Oh, Teddy! - Skoot skoot, hit the whoa!

What's up?

I haven't seen you around the block.

Where you've been?

I'm just at school now, actually, Nora.

Oh.

Yeah, just home for the weekend.

- Oh! Ortmo, cool! - Dartmouth, yes!

That's cool. Big... Big 5, right?

It's just been nice to finally move out, you know?

Be on my own.

I once too had ambitious of that.

What with the economy now, like,

I don't trust gold anymore, you know what I mean?

Anyway, I'm late because I have a J-O-B now. Job.

I'm gonna get, uh... Hey, Teddy, by the way?

Um, you and your friends need weed?

'Cuz, um, I do that too.

- No. - Okay, yeah.

I'll see you later, yeah, for sure.

All right, gotta go.

MERLENE: Bath bombs, lip balms, creams, oils,

salves... Nora!

Hey, we're glad you could join us.

You're eight minutes late, so that's another strike.

I got totally lost.

I ended up on Canal Street and I got confused because

the "C" was missing and I was like, "Anal Street?

I mean, where am I?"

Well, moving forward, I would prefer that you came in on time

or within the five-minute grace period,

which is already super flexible on my part.

Yeah, going forward, yes, and I... I... I apologize to you.

Okay, corporate is gonna be here today,

so let's implement best practices.

And just as a reminder to our sales associates,

we are a CBD store.

Please don't tell our customers to smoke weed.

- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. - Don't do... don't go do that.

A girl I went to high school with died from smoking weed.

It's like really dangerous.

- Sorry, who is this? - Who is this?

Stacy. Here is our newest sales associate,

which you'd know if you'd be here on time.

She'll be your trainee for the day.

Please show her around.

Why can't Celine show her around?

I just moved here yesterday from Iowa.

Isn't this exciting, the Big Apple?

Oh yeah, Big Apples, yup.

Um, well, I guess I'll start with the restrooms.

Uh, more of a bring your own TP sort of situation.

Okay.

?

[door shuts]

DOCTOR: So, Mrs. Lin, sorry for the long wait.

I have your test results.

It's organ failure, isn't it?

Cataracts, gout?

Or at least an anal fissure?

Well, the results did come back... abnormal.

[gasps] I knew I was dying!

My final wish is that

all my bathing suits go to Nora.

No, you're not dying.

In fact, you're extremely healthy.

You have the organs of a 23-year-old Mormon.

- What? - Yes!

Your ears, heart, lungs, they're all outperforming.

It's as if you were Benjamin Button.

You are legitimately in the best shape of your life.

Aw, you don't know my life.

?

- [text whoosh] - Who are you texting?

Why are you so obsessed with me?

Go on, get out of here.

Okay, the key to sales is you gotta work the customer.

Watch and learn.

Hi, there. Welcome to, uh, CBD Bliss Zone.

You guys interested in lotions, perhaps?

Because, uh, I got one that would relax the body,

but also makes, uh, that late-night bump bump...

- How did you know? - Oh, I knew.

- His legs get cramped in 69. - NORA: Oh, no.

I have a excellent lotion that I think you should definitely try.

Thank you, thank you.

We'll spread this all over you, baby.

Try this out, I knew from the moment you guys walked in

you were a bunch of freaks. [laughs]

So, bro, listen. I agree.

CBD ain't really shit, you know what I mean?

I know a guy. He... he dreams in blue.

I'll DM you his number, you know?

I'm the guy.

I'm the guy that... that sells weed.

So Crohn's disease, wow.

Yeah, it's just... so you're always shitting?

I'm... I'm jealous, to be honest.

I got Bristol Ones every two weeks, you know?

I... I could give you a bath bomb, but, you know,

obviously don't shove it in your asshole,

which I... I don't think you would, 'cuz... 'cuz the Crohn's.

Wow, Nora, you're, like, so good at sales.

- Yeah, you know, NBD, CBD. - Just, uh, vibin' with it.

And it is so cool that you get to do your dream job.

Yeah, I don't know if this is my... my dream job.

This is just a... you know, a gig. Something that pays the bills.

You know, this is like dumb, but I've always wanted to be

like Carrie Bradshaw.

Sarah Jessica Parker played her in this...

- I know who, yeah. - Very famous role.

And not just because of all the hot guys her and her aunts

were able to score. [Sighs]

- Did you say her aunts? - Yeah, were those her aunts?

Stacy, those were her friends.

- Oh! Yeah, that makes sense. - Yup.

Well, anyway, call me a dreamer,

but living in New York is my dream.

Let me just give you some advice real quick.

Um, New York is going to chew you up

and it's gonna spit you out.

It's gonna swallow you down, and it's gonna shit you out into

a pile of diarrhea shit dreams, okay?

And you will struggle. You'll struggle every day.

Every minute of your life, you wake up and struggle.

You go to sleep, struggle. Okay?

And I just want you to proceed with caution because it's gonna

hit ya like a brick wall.

- Oh. - Yeah.

I see.

You're more of an Aunt Miranda.

[chuckles] Yeah.

[both moan]

Do you wanna just get away from me for a little bit?

- Oh, sure. - Yeah, okay.

?

Thank you, guys, all for coming.

I have a big announcement.

Oh, is your rich grandson Edmund back from China?

No, he's still there.

And stop thirsting, Siqi. He's 30!

Anyway, I had an epiphany at the doctor's office.

Old age isn't just a long, slow march toward death,

but rather a new lease on life.

You have a lot of white hair.

- Li-Wei, look at me. - I feel healthier than ever.

And braver than ever, too.

Somebody punch me! Fight me!

I wanna feel the rush of being alive!

Asians don't raisin, baby!

I do feel very strong.

I thought I was having a heart attack in 2015.

It turns out I was just having a sip of energy drink.

You shouldn't drink that stuff with your diabetes.

Don't tell me what to do, Siqi.

At least I don't walk like I'm permanently hula-hooping.

I was born bowlegged!

Siqi, are you gonna let Li-Wei talk to you like that?

Oh, hell no.

You're a bitch, Li-Wei!

- You are a bitch! - No, you're a bitch!

GRANDMA: Okay, you two need to get more insults.

But there is one way to settle this!

?

- Ready? - I own you!

- I own you. - I own you!

Oh, shut up already. Begin!

[grunting]

?

[screams triumphantly]

GRANDMA: Yeah!

That's what I'm talkin' about!

I got next!

NORA: And this here is our credit card machine.

We call her, uh, Lil' Swipey. She's beautiful.

Um, and, uh, we're a cashless business, obviously, up in here.

Uh, which... Which has its downsides

and... and... and its upsides.

Downsides being that you can't steal money.

STEVEN: Hey, there.

Can we get that uniform tucked in?

I'm sorry, what?

Everyone else has their uniform tucked in, so...

Oh, so you think because you're a man that you can come

walking around here telling women what to do

with their bodies, right? Right?

Uh, there's this word, I think it's called feminism.

And... and... and do you know what... what... what femin-isn't?

You coming up in here and telling women how and how not

to wear their uniforms, like you own the company.

- Actually, I do. - Oh, wow.

- This is getting tucked. - I will tuck this in.

Thank you.

I was checking in from corporate.

- STACY: Yeah. - Yeah.

I will... I will tuck this in so hard,

I will loop it around like a bathing suit.

Well...

We went to high school together.

Steven Rauch?

- NORA: Steven Rauch. - Oh, yeah, yes, yes!

You were a really special kid and I knew it back then.

I'm so sorry about what happened just now.

Uh, please... please don't fire me.

I... I kinda need this job and, you know...

STACY: Yeah, you cannot fire Nora.

She's like super passionate about what goes on here.

She's been showing me the ropes all day.

And she's like ah-mazing.

This job is everything for her.

Not everything.

Okay, just wear the uniform right.

NORA: You got it, Steve.

Isn't that kooky that you guys were in the same grade,

and now he owns the company that you're a sales associate at?

It's not that kooky.

Serendipity! Am I right?

OMG, this reminds me of a SATC episode when Aunt Charlotte

had too many cosmos, and then she bought...

?

[customers talking]

?

DOUG: What's up, Nora?

Oh. Hey, Doug.

- This is Annie. - Meet my new friend.

- Hey. - Hi, there.

Why don't you go check out the serums, babe?

ANNIE: My god, I love it here.

Smells like my stepdad.

- Oh, okay. - You heard that?

- What the fuck, dude? - What happened to Melanie?

I don't know.

We got into a fight and she started to choke me.

But Annie's hella cool. Her ADHD makes her fun as shit.

Is, um, she all right down here?

Oh, yeah, yeah, she fell off a big-ass mountain.

Oh, seriously?

I... I just don't know what I'm gonna do

when that cast comes off. I love how clumsy she is.

- She's like Amelia Bedelia. - NORA: Mm-hmm.

- She makes me feel less lonely. - Yeah, I... I feel that.

She... she... she seems really great.

Anyways, hit you up soon.

Annie, hold up!

She's on crutches, Doug.

?

You wanna know something, Li-Wei?

I think you smell like an old-ass Fig Newton.

And I hate it!

Do you want to know what happens at the end of your

favorite K-drama, "You From Another Star"?

No, you wouldn't!

Min-Joon disappears,

and comes back at the end to join Song-yi in her timeline!

No, no! Aah!

- Winner! - Yeah! Benjamin Button!

[cackles]

[laughing]

[loud crack]

Oh, crap.

[footsteps]

- OMG, I got accepted. - What?

To The New School.

I got a full ride and a dorm on the Upper West Side.

Just like Carrie Bradshaw!

Aah! Isn't this exciting?

And I'll be able to do my in-semester internship

at Hearst Publishing.

How did that happen?

You flew into LaGuardia yesterday.

Well, it's just like you said, Nora.

New York is a dream.

No, no. I didn't say that.

I said the opposite of that.

Do you need any help to lock up or...

- No. Go, celebrate. - Thanks.

?

[couple giggling]

?

- Hey. - Oh my god.

- Nora. - Daniel? Whoa. Whoa, whoa.

Oh my god, wow. How are you?

- I... I'm good. - I've been so good.

- You've been so good. - So good.

Whoa! I... I haven't seen you around.

Yeah, no, I moved to Carroll Gardens,

so I'm not in Queens anymore.

Nice. Yeah, that's a nice neighborhood.

It's crazy that... that I'm seeing you right now because.

I, uh... you were in a dream that I had recently.

So, uh, yeah, really, really weird.

Um, but what... would you wanna like grab a drink or something?

- Hey, baby! - Uh-oh!

Hey, babe, what's up?

Let's go! We're gonna be late.

Right. Uh, Nora, this is Nova.

- Hey. Nova. Like my name. - DANIEL: Right.

- So great to meet you. - So great to meet you as well.

We're about to go to a concert, so...

Okay!

But it was great running into you.

It was so great running... yeah, for sure.

It's really nice to see you. Awesome, okay. Oh, whoa.

Okay, no I can... Ha, ha, ha, yeah.

All right, catch ya later.

All right. Okay. Yeah.

That dream was so real, wasn't it?

[tinkling, mystical music]

- What? - You're lost.

You need to figure yourself out.

You must find your flame.

Find what drives you.

- Okay, will do. - Nice to meet you and your plant.

See you later, Nora!

?

- [dog barking] - [horn honking]

[groans]

- NORA: You all right? - Smells like Tiger Balm.

Yeah, I'm fine.

I just had a good-ol' slap fight.

I cracked my back.

What's up with you?

You look sad.

NORA: No, I'm good.

Just the same old shit, you know?

Nothing ever changes.

Nora... life begins whenever you want it to.

- You're never too old. - Yeah.

Tomorrow, um, you don't have to wake me up.

- I'm gonna set my own alarm. - Okay.

And if... if you do need to wake me up, though,

and you see that I'm really happy

just let me sleep for like five more minutes.

Of course, bao bao.

I love you.

Love you too.

?

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Who the [bleep] is Awkwafina?

?

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