Original subtitles

One day, Billy was asleep.

It was dark.

But my father was not there.

So he went to his mother's bed.

But my mom wasn't there either.

Where is the father and mother?

- Mom! - Come here.

(That's what you say, Bjorn. a) Yes.

Can you say "mom"? Say "mom".

No, you spoil the flower.

Diligent. Don't play with it!

Good bye. Now to bed.

It's November 16, 1962.

- Welcome? Hi Bjorn!

How are you darling?

Well, not good. - No?

- Is mom at home? - No.

It's a bitterly cold day in February 1970.

Film director Luchino Visconti is on his way to Stockholm.

One of the most extraordinary characters in cinema.

Known for his art and lineage.

He is of the northern Italian gentry. He is a communist, but he has servants.

He is openly gay.

Visconti searches for pure beauty,

The perfect beauty of a child will be the hero of his next movie.

I can't see his eyes. What is its color?

Look here.

Green.

He is handsome and has a beautiful face.

Tell him to take some pictures.

He traveled for years, researching in Hungary, Poland, Finland and Russia.

In a luxury apartment next to the Grand Hotel in Stockholm,

A group of boys gathers with high expectations.

- He's an actor, that kid. - Oh yes?

Have you seen someone who can work?

No not yet. Some are pretty sweet, but we haven't found them yet.

The door is about to open.

The boy behind the door still doesn't know

That your life is about to change.

His face will become an icon around the world.

The most beautiful boy in the world

how old is she? It's bigger, isn't it?

- Yes a little. He is 15 years old - older. fifteen? very nice. turn around.

In the private file.

- He's so handsome in this picture. - Did you bring any pictures?

Number.

Can you walk in circles around the room?

It is very high.

- Lovely! Ask him to undress. - Can you take off your shirt?

- What or what? - Can you take off your shirt?

- Half naked. - Half naked?

- And look at the camera. - Look at the camera and smile a little.

- Very cute.. - Walk a little.

Stop. Make it a close-up.

I turn to the camera.

Too close. Three-quarters shot, not full-face.

- He smiles. - Look at the camera and smile.

- What a beautiful smile! - Thanks. You have to take pictures.

Mario! Let's take close-ups too

Right and left side, his face , a full shot, shirtless.

He has a beautiful face.

Welcome to the Tenants Association. You have three options.

Choose what best suits your needs.

Well, I need legal advice.

What should I do? I don't know anything about these things.

Tell us what happened and what you need help with,

I will do whatever I can to help you.

You could say they're threatening my hero...

With the termination of the contract. - Invoice.

In a letter from the owner Bjorn,

He says you're a danger to the other tenants since you left the gas stove on.

- Nonsense! Yes, but look here...

- I'm not reckless. I always look at him! - But all this worries him

Because the kitchen extractor is dirty...

Filled with oil, it can catch fire easily. - I know.

That's why you are dangerous. You have to keep it clean.

Now, it's about explaining why you're lying in bed,

With gas stove. Because she knows.

And why leave it when you are not at home.

The comforter... I lifted him...

And as I carried it, it disintegrated.

Crumbled into small pieces of foam rubber,

Old and disgusting do not know what.

Wait... I still have a pillow here.

Down there. Look!

Insects were feeding on this. It's very disgusting. awesome!

And under that fat robe

I don't know what... Complete nonsense.

It looks like a tube...

From carpet bugs or nasty bugs like that.

Disgusting!

My house is a danger to the environment. - Yes.

This is correct.

"Cyclone". What did he mean by this title?

Excuse me!

I had escaped from that horrific boarding school in Denmark

And I went to Stockholm , to my grandparents' house.

He had no parents, really.

It was the grandmother who took care of all this.

I wrote my name for all sorts of things.

I don't know, I don't know. I think I said yes to everything.

I wanted a famous grandson.

All I knew was that I wanted to compose music.

He really had no idea how big all this was.

It was great to go abroad of course,

To countries I have not visited before,

To do some extra work during the school holidays.

Good. little more…

Please calm down!

Tadzio, that sweet child who looks sculpted,

She is played by Bjorn Andersen, a 15-year-old Swedish boy.

Did you know exactly what you were looking for when you started your search?

Yes, just that. Thus, the.

- Like I have a picture? - Yes. He was the sixth boy I saw.

I knew it right away.

He is blond, with perfect looks and gray eyes. Do you see his gray eyes?

"The color of the water," Mr. Mann wrote. Like the color of these eyes.

It must be as cool as a statue. I have understood. It's perfect.

There is no risk of falling into sex. That would be a huge mistake.

I was with Visconti, when this blond boy appeared.

It was easy to notice

Visconti's body was fully activated.

The boy was exquisitely handsome, with a very attractive face.

It was a real find.

He was a very charismatic boy.

It looks fragile.

And that looks beautiful in the movie.

Extreme caution should be exercised when dealing with such children.

"Death in Venice" was filmed in a classic hotel on the Lido, one of the Venice islands:

"Grand Hotel des Bains".

The story, written by Thomas Mann , trapped Visconti for years.

With the old hotel, it creates the perfect turn-of-the-century environment.

For Visconti, Death in Venice is a very personal narrative.

Is the idea of ​​death what tempted you the most with this little story?

Not death in particular, but this kind of death

It is an intellectual death, rather.

It is the story of an intellectual looking for beauty,

The absolute beauty of the world.

And when he found it in a little boy

who lives in the Lido, at the Hôtel des Bains...

You know, look at her beauty

It's like looking at death.

Grandma came to Venice.

He took the Super 8 camera and recorded everything, of course.

Visconti gave her a small piece of paper, and she was very happy.

I also had a nanny, Mary.

You helped me with my homework.

He was like my little brother

Who was meant to protect from this new world, for me too.

This was my business, as per the contract.

I found it very difficult.

Someone mentioned that Visconti issued an order.

Remember, the whole team was gay.

An order where no one was tall enough to look at little Tadzio.

Without realizing it, in the sense that he was being protected by "the man".

It is a love story, pure love.

It is neither sexual nor sensual.

It is a form of supreme love. Let's say...

Perfection in love. I imagine looking for producers...

A love story between an old composer and a teenager...

- It can cause certain problems. - Undoubtedly.

A producer wanted to have a girl to replace Tadzio.

I said no.

"I refuse to have Tadzia." That would spoil the author's message.

They would use you to illustrate a story that wasn't yours at all.

The people were a little afraid of Visconti. Was a little...

She was a strong character

With a stern look and harsh tone of voice when he speaks.

And it was tough.

Visconti address, when he touched me,

It can be reduced to approximately four directions:

"Walk, stop, turn around, and smile."

Aschenbach noted that the boy was impeccably beautiful...

His pale and elegantly reserved face ..."

Thomas Mann describes Tadzio with his honey-colored hair,

Like a Greek god.

And the boy is not a human , but an angel of death.

On March 1, 1971, "Death in Venice" celebrated its world premiere in London,

In the presence of the Queen and Princess Anne.

And here is the first thing Visconti confirms

That Bjorn is the most beautiful boy in the world.

Bjorn will accompany this

Description for the rest of his life.

But two months later, "Death in Venice" was shown at the Cannes Film Festival.

And everything kicks off.

Cannes, 1971, 25-year-old ritual:

Black tie, smiles and paparazzi welcome the stars.

The jury of the twenty-fifth edition of the festival, accompanied by Luchino Visconti.

There is a great crowd at the Palais des Festivals,

Tonight is the opening of the film festival.

The great whirlwind, so to speak,

Accelerated at Cannes.

That's when the whole circus began.

Visconti is, as almost always, one of the favourites,

This time with his movie "Death in Venice".

I have a spotlight pointing at my eyes. I can not see! Ah, now better, thanks.

Backlight better... Questions?

May I ask you a question, Mr. Visconti? - Of course, absolutely.

Needless to say, once again, Dirk Bogard's ingenuity.

- But Björn Andrésen was a stranger. I'll tell you his story...

excuse me. He's not very good at French, but he knows the story:

I went to Stockholm

On the first day I started doing screen tests on Swedish children.

The fifth child who entered the room was Mr. Bjorn Andersen.

And he was pretty sure it was Tadzio.

I had no doubts.

I photographed every inch of it, from head to toe... you remember!

We found Tadzio!

She was more beautiful at that time. Now he is getting old.

It's too high now. His hair is long. He was a nice boy at the time.

Not that he knows it, but it changes. He can become a handsome man.

But for now, well...

You are at an awkward age.

He is 15 years old now...

No, 16. He's too old.

I continue!

I was so terrified.

They looked like swarms of bats around me most of the time.

It was a real nightmare.

Suddenly, I felt like people were looking at me.

And they got to know me.

So they absorbed me.

"What the hell is this? How does everyone suddenly like me?"

This is not a good basis for strong self-esteem,

Since you know you can't trust someone who really loves you.

Moreover, Visconti told me

"The most beautiful boy in the world."

I had planned to put on some good makeup, but now it all seems like crap.

Shit! Well, no one will notice.

وبالتالي!

Okay. good.

- Am I okay? - Looks great.

You must wear white socks. You can't wear those.

I can wear shoes.

- No, you can't wear that! - No, okay.

- Bjorn! - Yes, I will open.

- Hello! - Welcome.

- looking great! - Yes?

- Hello. - Welcome. I'm Jessica.

- I'm Eva. - Hello Eva.

It wasn't like this last time. The gas burner was working.

- Yes I know. - And I was just... well, you know.

Yes really.

I've always used a gas stove...

during the winter months.

- Ngandu I was in the kitchen. - Of course, absolutely.

But if not, then when it's too cold outside.

But this is not normal

Since the block is reasonably well acclimatized.

- Do you have it with milk, Eva? - No thank you.

- sugar? - No it is.

Is this normal or normal? - Yes. Thanks.

- Who are you by the way? - I'm Jessica, Bjorn's friend.

Oh alright! It was you who called me last night. invoice.

So, first of all... last Monday...

I'm not sure how to explain what happened.

It can't be explained because it hasn't happened before. That's it.

Yes that's it. It's not that I lack judgment.

Of course I turn off the gas when I get off the floor or go to sleep.

But the condition of the apartment..there is a fine line between your safety

In terms of owning the apartment in the way you want it and your obligations as a tenant.

This can be convenient for you, as the owner:

There is not a single animal on this floor. How about that, Bjorn!

Not a single bug or insect!

- Unbelievable, considering... - I'm glad to hear that.

- I smoked them to death. - But now we smoke on the balcony.

Bjorn - a really respectable and organized person.

Surely yes. Everything will be fine.

No one bothered the neighbors all these years.

You are doing well in this sense.

It will be fine.

This door needs cleaning.

Excuse me!

Can you believe it?

Oh Bjorn! What comforts God.

- let's get drunk! - Yes.

Let's check!

- We won it for 10 days of cleaning. Oh my God, I need a cigarette.

- Yes. - right Now!

New bed. you need it.

No one should sleep the way you should have.

- No. - Can you....

This is what happens when you don't feel like a human being.

Baby

Now I feel like a human again.

Hey...

- How do those tears taste? - I don't know, I don't know.

Opening night banquet...

“You served your purpose,” so to speak.

“We already have our movie. So you can do whatever you want with the boy.”

Grandma went to bed.

She put me under her care, so to speak.

I had no idea where we had come.

I've never been to a nightclub or been to a gay club.

Also, Luchino was there.

What I remember is...

Hell. Red Velvet Wallpaper. Glossy black paint...

I've never experienced anything like this before.

Evil looks

Wet lips, tongues...

I felt like they were giving me the blowjob with their brains.

Delicious syrup

Anything he had in his hands, just to silence him.

I don't remember how I got home.

The role of Tadzio makes him famous overnight. They all love him.

But Visconti's contract with Bjorn restricts him

To the father of the most beautiful boy in the world.

For three years, Visconti "owned" Bjorn's face.

Articles on Bjorn were cut from different newspapers.

He looks unhappy in some of the pictures.

Yes, I was having sex alone.

There were legions of journalists , it must have been after the premiere,

at your door.

Mail bags delivered...

- from Japan. Especially from Japan.

Also letters from men who were infatuated with you.

What do I remember from those days?

It's the difference between a grandmother's affection for everything...

- Yes? And your lack of enthusiasm.

She became "Bjorn Andersen's grandmother".

Yes that's right.

You were running away from your grandmother's house.

There were many conflicts inside.

It was as if the movie had taken hold.

As if a hurricane is pulling you away without you being able to defend yourself.

Exactly.

Then I went to Japan, and I do n't know what exactly happened there.

After that, we never saw each other again.

After watching the "Death in Venice" movie Visconti,

Everyone became a follower of Bjorn.

They all talked about

"Bjorn, Bjorn".

That was nearly 50 years ago, half a century ago.

That was nearly 50 years ago, half a century ago.

Perhaps it was because Westerners were still rare here,

But people went crazy.

He arrived in Japan as the first idol of the West

Arrive in Japan, as the first idol of the West

everything is ready. There is a "Death in Venice" fashion.

Sony product has already recorded backups

For pop numbers that Bjorn will sing. - And the movie crew is waiting

To use it in an advertisement, ie your face.

I was thinking, "This can't happen!"

It is as if there is a surreal membrane

It separates you from the rest of the world.

They were holding signs that read "Hello Bjorn".

They had scissors, ready to cut my hair.

It was totally surreal.

I was arguing about who would be the next person of interest.

I hope this young man

Who is said to be the most beautiful boy in the world.

I'm pretty sure this was the lift.

I know the buttons.

In 1971, touch buttons were not common.

This elevator was for sure. Invoice…

716, was that room?

- good morning. - good morning!

- Bjorn! - Max Max!

Nice to see you.

How nice to see you again.

لديك لحية!

I had a mustache.

- do you remember? - Of course, absolutely.

I was very attractive at the time.

As you know, you are Caucasian.

Previously.

Light hair color.

Kind of a limited idol.

We brought in a good photographer to let you know.

The pictures were good.

Visconti was famous.

Everything around you was wonderful.

- It was all a quarrel. - Yes.

Basically, I didn't do this for me.

It was my grandmother.

Who scolds me and scolds me.

Now go to Japan! Come, meet a new country."

"Make money!"

I understand you were very young at the time.

They did not give him any information before filming began.

He had no choice but to do what they told him.

I feel it was hard for him

But the environment didn't allow us to think about how he felt about it.

That was the height of your popularity.

In one night

You had to do about six or seven times.

Well, unfortunately, I was in a dream.

Yes, and I wanted to be somewhere else and be someone else.

Give me two or three red pills...

It will make me feel better.

You don't like the situation. pretend like that.

In "Death in Venice," Bjorn embodies the concept of "Bishonen."

He has a gay side.

- Then it was the concert. - How many numbers have you made?

I did not. I ate red pills...

- I am shocked. - Yes. This is how it was in 1971.

I don't care, it's the curse of child abuse.

Being confused, I just said, "Well..."

- what was? Amphetamis? - Not the worst.

- Stace O'Old? - I have no idea!

But anyway, you're on stage and they tell you...

Wait, I need to take this. waiting.

- Am I going too fast? - No, it's very annoying. waiting…

Hi, this was about 50 years ago. - But it makes me sad.

- You don't have to be sad. - But I'm. make me sad.

I just think it's awful.

When we met, I was amazed. He couldn't believe such a person existed.

There was something mysterious about his expression.

It had a special luster.

And even though I was only a teenager , I also felt the dark side.

It gave it a three-dimensional appeal. I remember how attractive she was to me.

He was the original idol. The entire idol culture began.

He had that dark side too, although Visconti recognized him.

This was an advantage for Bjorn, as well as a burden.

There are actors like that in Japan , who have earned Kurosawa's appreciation

And they struggled all their careers for it.

This may sound like an exaggeration, but one might call it fate.

So we told him we'd like to make a recording with him.

I was born to love

That day I was there

Japanese is not a simple language.

But he had a big ear and soon learned to sing Japanese naturally.

Why do flowers bloom when we are together?

Sony wanted to use one of the songs in a Japanese ad.

You who cry

my heart beats

Love awakens.

Meiji chocolate. Shine!

My heart trembles

Made me feel this love

Yet it was pure

For you who cried those sweet tears

Jessica!

- Jessica! - Yes?

Which hour

- You have to get up. - Jisoo.

Jessica...

Jessica!

Was it 11:00 or 12:00? - It's 11:00.

They are a quarter.

When it comes to shoujo manga, comics for girls,

A beautiful face is the most important.

When the movie was released,

I was surprised to discover that such a person existed.

I couldn't believe someone could be so beautiful.

You are born, you are growing up and there is a moment in your life

Its beauty is in full bloom.

This movie managed to catch it

Currently .exatto in the quie. she was! The most beautiful thing it could ever be.

Good evening. glad to meet you.

Bjorn's face has been an inspiration to an entire generation of manga artists.

In 1971, Ryoko Ikeda was a young feminist activist.

She became one of the most important manga artists in Japan.

All manga artists are inspired by it on a deeper level.

Each of us but in different ways.

Mrs. Oscar on my sleeve, "The Rose of Versailles",

She is a girl who wears a boy's clothes.

The character is based entirely on Bjorn. He was the model.

I've been drawing it for 40 or 45 years.

Do it, Andre. I don't want anything to happen to you.

I'm going Oscar.

If I have to suffer for love, let me suffer

Until the day you understand

And I know what I feel

You are the light and I am the shadow

There is a kind of sadness on his face.

All we've seen is Bjorn Andreessen's appearance.

So I always wondered if our perception of him...

It hurts.

But now I feel like we've seen her inner self, too.

Filming "MIDSOMMAR" BUDAPEST

Cuts!

I never considered myself an actor.

Things just happened.

Thanks. Let's line this up, normal, please.

I teach acting lessons. I did a lot of tests when I left,

Films, television works and theater works.

Everything went well with my career.

But that didn't help me...

With myself the darkest.

I don't think anyone has seen this.

I remember the last time I saw her.

He must have got off Tram 10.

One day we were on our way to school and she was waving.

We salute you. salute.

And we said hello again. Even at the time, I was thinking:

"This is the last time I see her."

People wondered where Barbro went.

Some said: She became a nun.

Or: "He's gone abroad." things like that.

Anything but the truth.

Here, my mother disappeared. They haven't found it yet.

Our teacher, Lisbeth Axelson, was

At the Adolf Frederick School of Music, who wrote:

“Björn Andrésen has great difficulty concentrating and is very talkative.

To some extent, the same applies to Annike. Thanks for the help."

I think it was because...

We are very impressed

Obviously, because of my mom's disappearance, we didn't know what had happened.

We were both born in 1955.

I was born in January, I was born in December.

We have the same mother but our parents are different.

In Denmark, they call it "half-twins".

During our childhood, we were very close

Than we were with our friends.

We were very close.

I don't even remember being without you. We were always together.

I remember one day the doorbell rang in my grandparents' house.

I got out. I think you were there too. There were two policemen.

They told us...

They found my mother dead in the woods.

And since then, since that day, since that hour,

No one mentioned my mom again. Not a word was said about her.

No one told us, or as I remember, about my mother,

About his death or his existence or how we felt.

Never a word.

He was a free spirit.

Bohemian and artistic spirit, as they say.

She was a photographer, poet, painter and journalist.

He had an art gallery...

And to add to all that, she even designed Dior!

Take me and my sister on a trip to Europe for a year

ingluso, before we start going to school.

And his partner, Silva, also came.

My mom's biggest secret was who Bjorn's father was.

It was something that was kept a secret.

Did I mention before

Something _ about someone _ could be my father?

Because I don't know yet.

- You still don't know? Gosh! - "Gosh"?

- forget that! - Show...

- Should I forget about it? - Yes it is.

- But it's an interesting topic. - Yes.

- However, she never told you about him? - No, he never said who he is.

Unfortunately...

Previously...

we will...

Hi Bjorn! - Welcome.

Wait, I'm going to put the coffee in the microwave.

- How was your night? - Good. I went alone.

And... Peter?

- Excuse me? Peter, I say.

- What Peter? - I wrote about Peter's character.

- run out…? - Yes.

That "value your company".

- Ah, you say Peter Dixon! - Invoice.

We were at Carmen's Restaurant a few days ago. NS! The least appreciated me.

She didn't want to go out with me , so I went out with my friends.

- right Now. - Must not?

I'm not sure. You write to me as if there is a new man in your life.

Yes really. I wonder if I should fight for her or for us.

There is someone who takes it very seriously.

So should I pass up this opportunity acting like a paranoid old man?

You protect the access token so that it doesn't see it when we're on the other side of the planet.

We shower together in the same bathtub. I file your nails. We share a bed.

We touch our bodies, but you still keep your access token secret.

So I wonder if you're the right guy for me

When another man really loves me.

Should I fight for you? This is my big question.

Especially when you act like a fucking pig!

- How long have you been a pig? - How do? You are a pig, Bjorn!

I was in Japan. Always use my mobile phone. Without paying for anything.

They kept me almost under arrest in the hotel room for two days.

Wait, none of this... - Without giving me access to you!

I've done so much for you, you ungrateful shit!

We will….

How can I solve this problem?

All children born out of wedlock after 1917

They had a childcare employee , who in most cases was a woman.

They were supposed to support a single mother,

As well as to help verify the identity of the father.

This is your file.

We have another file for police records.

About your mother's disappearance.

- OK. invoice. - Yes.

Of course, it can be a little difficult to read.

So it's up to you if you want to see it now

Or take some copies with you so you can read with peace of mind at home.

In such police investigation records

there are some pictures,

Like here, pictures of the scene where they found your mother.

I have removed it for now

Because I don't want to be shocked.

It's a detail on your part.

They do exist, but I kept them separate.

This is the text that describes the events.

After death...

Death certificate

I've seen it all on my mind since that day.

But this is very clear.

Can you show me the way out, please? - Of course, absolutely.

On Monday, May 2, 1966 , at 7:30 p.m., it was reported

That the body of a woman was found in the woods near Stene Farm.

His body was under the thick spruce leaves,

Lying on his right side, his head on a rootstock.

His head was revealed.

However, for protection, the collar of her coat was pulled over her head.

One of the documents in the bag allowed the woman to be identified

Like Mrs. Barbro Elizabeth Anderson,

Missing since October last year."

October 17, 1962.

Head...

- This is Auntie. - Welcome?

Will Annick come to see me on Saturday?

Don't you think they should come?

Call me and ask me: "How are you?"

and: “Are the children sleeping or outside?”

- R: "Can I talk to them?" - Yes?

You can just talk to me and that's it, right?

You worry too much about things. Stop complicating everything.

- This is ridiculous. - Which?

It doesn't work like that! I can only be who I am.

And when people don't let me be who I am...

- It makes me weird and "wrong". - Who does not leave you?

You, for example, don't let me be myself.

- You want to be a certain way. - I do not agree at all.

I don't understand you today. definitely.

- Should we hang up? - Yes.

Okay. good bye.

Still, no more harsh words.

I don't have much left. Don't cry for me.

There is no fire to put out. Do not look at me.

I'm about to collapse. I'll collapse any minute.

I don't want you to see me collapse.

Don't cry for me there's no more fire to put out.

I gave everything I had.

I didn't save anything to live for.

That's why I'm becoming more and more invisible.

But I will not die. What remains: a door.

What can I do other than leave a room inside me?

I don't die, I just disappear.

Perhaps, my anxiety, I will awake again to certainty and doubt.

Then I will come back to find you.”

Perhaps that was a farewell message.

He sat in his room

With a bottle of cheap red wine and a box of Chesterfield in front of her.

He smoked one cigarette after another.

She sat in silence, staring out the window at night.

I can remember being behind her.

I remember thinking:

"When I grow up, I will save my mother."

We don't see each other when...

at the lowest point.

When I was a kid

There were long periods when he did not answer the phone.

Even though I'm older now, I can take it.

But he told me, "This is not the time."

There are details about the father's life that a girl should not know.

And when I was 14 or so

My dad started to open up a bit, and he was telling me a few things.

I think it was around that time

I found out more about Death in Venice.

I think it has a lot to do with his mother's death.

Makes you wonder... if it were alive and functioning normally,

How would there be...?

Perhaps the whole "Death in Venice" experience hadn't affected him that much,

If he had a few parents he could trust , someone would be there for him.

In theory, he's a great dad. But in practice, this does not work.

I wanted to be there

To love me and play with me

All the time, like any daughter , she needs her father.

In fact, at one point you seemed to have disappeared.

We even think you might be dead.

Today we are pleased to welcome Bjorn Andersen

For an exclusive interview for our French audience.

You may remember him as the boy who played young Tadzio,

In Luchino Visconti's famous movie "Death in Venice".

To us, he was an almost mythical figure.

We remember this wonderful teenager.

At the time, did you contribute to a different relationship with men?

- on my side? - Yes.

Like the gay community, for example. Did you feel that they were interested in you?

- They were looking at you... - Ah, yes.

This legend has become, the symbol of male beauty.

Well, let me start...

what is the Question? If there is any change before or after?

Because the gay community...

I started there. I mean , you've been cool...

I came here in 1976 to make a movie.

It came to nothing, but I stayed for a year.

And one Mr. Durant, among others, paid it all.

He found me an apartment on the Seine Street, everything is in order.

Pay it all.

I must have been so naive

Because it was something like, "Wow! Everyone is so kind."

I received very, very long love poems.

Write "Björn, je t'aime", those things.

Expensive meals, expensive dinners, gifts.

They all had very full wallets.

I don't think they treated me that way because of the kindness of their hearts.

It was a feeling of being...

I felt like some kind of trophy runner.

I thought, if you are in Paris for a long time with everything paid...

Did you get any money? How many times have you met?

- Money? They gave me money every week. - No! It's a joke?

- 500 francs. -No!

500 francs a week in 1976?

- More or less, yes. - Do you realize how much this is?

Perhaps you are a small pet, someone to be seen with...

Where Maxim and Lido.

- The most beautiful boy in the world. - Yes, "le petit garcon de Mort ¿¡Venise".

I was a sexual being, or an object anyway. Great game.

They paid your company, so to speak.

For the love of God, I had no money of my own

At least not when he was traveling around the world.

I was also in my own ego.

If I had known then what I know today, I would have said no to Paris.

But it is of paramount importance, Bjorn...

From where you are today and how do you see yourself,

And those shattered dreams,

What did not happen and what happened.

You are not a simple person, Bjorn.

You have three companies / what.

Dear Bjorn...

- love of my life. - Do I deserve to be?

Definitely

- Hello! - hello Dear.

- How are you? - As always.

How always? True or Flase?

Need to urinate, afraid of trains, powerless.

- A little... - Sounds familiar.

Do you realize that it has been 11 years, in December, since the last time I was here?

Do not say that!

Has all this time really passed? I mean, this place looked...

No one visited me.

Nothing even a year ago

When Jessica helped me clean and tidy.

All there is tight!

- Well, "the ugliest child in the world." - Is he here, in "Birth"?

- over there! - Yes.

"The ugliest child in the world, our wonderful daughter."

Thanks!

You are happy there.

Being a father scared me a lot.

What are parents supposed to do?

He had entered drama school a few months ago.

I felt I should do my best.

It was my biggest wish

That you didn't have to go through what you went through as a kid.

For a family to function, there must be two people.

This is where it collapsed. Lots of alcohol and...

But I think I'm a healthier adult

To live far away, more than if you two lived together.

- Elvin came here. - Yes.

Then we became the "good family".

Shall we become the "good family"? - Yes.

When I was a child, even in my teens, you often said:

"If you want to know something, ask me."

When I was drunk too... It was very mysterious.

I never knew what questions you were referring to.

Do you want me to know what happened?

I don't want you to feel lonely.

And anything you want to know...

I will tell you, if not the truth , at least my version of the story.

You are very beautiful!

Sorry. Big boys don't cry.

You cry almost every time I see you. There is always something that moves you.

- I'm a sensitive bastard. - Yes, be one then!

- What did you say? - What did you say?"

Do you know what, mom?

Elvin died. It is in the flowers.

In the sky

in the pictures.

In lego.

And everything happened once.

- Is it difficult for you? - Yes.

- I took your knife. - Yes.

"And it all happened at the same time."

It was August 11, 1987 , the day after Robin's third birthday.

Almost three months after Elvin's death.

I was away.

It was May 17th.

I went out late at night, came home, and slept.

I brought Robin from nursery school.

And put him on the bed beside me.

I slept very little.

He was drunk as hell.

He is next to me and I slept.

I fainted

A cry wakes me up and she is.

I can see him lying there. His lips are blue.

Then desperately and in vain, we tried...

revive it.

The diagnosis was sudden infant death syndrome.

But my diagnosis is a lack of love.

I wasn't up to the task. And he had to bear a lot of responsibility.

She carried on her little shoulders all the happiness of our family.

But things went wrong with him.

Not only did Robin lose her little brother. He also lost his father.

I got depressed and alcoholic.

Self destruction...

in every possible way.

It was a flight of vanity. "Poor me." I, I, I, with me.

Then you go back to being a kid.

One child cannot take care of another child.

We share eight months together.

Now it will be... How old is he?

Today I will be 32.

I wonder what it would have looked like...

What kind of sound would he have had.

What about his expression?

And it all depends on how he behaves as a parent.

Because he was my son.

But the truth is, I wasn't there.

If he hadn't come out, if he had acted like an adult, he would have been alive.

If I had taken my responsibility seriously, I would still be alive today.

But everything was wrong from the start.

My life his life.

The really crazy thing is that you get used to it.

Do not expect...

Lots of life.

I really don't know how to express it. When i lost a lot

Somehow it makes life easier.

Well, I missed this, I missed it. good.

I lost a lot.

Elvin: 3 months. Robin: 2 years, 4 months.

Sana'a: 24 years, 9 months. BJÖRN: 31 years, 11 months.

The life and teachings of Jesus

Have you ever lay on the grass

And imagine that you are not looking into space

But what is below?

It's a very wonderful feeling.

I mean when we look at the stars how do we look?

Do we look outward, inward , upward or downward?

I mean, I'm still around , I'm sitting here

And everything normal is very uncertain

Unless anyone believes.

When I see the pictures

From the audition for "Death in Venice",

I find it painful.

I can deal with the outcome of everything and with the person he is today.

But seeing it in a movie, that's the crucial turning point...

When I see how uncomfortable you feel

Knowing things that others who see it do not know,

About the person who...

We're talking about a very sensitive and shy boy

You don't even want to be there.

Then suddenly they made him stand shirtless.

For him, nudity is not...

He does not want to be naked and does not want to undress.

This is the painful thing to watch.

This is where I want to go back in time and ask your grandmother what she's doing:

"Stop! Leave the boy alone."

it's wrong. You don't do that to children.

Tadzio...? Tadzio!

Still, no more harsh words.

I don't have much left.

Don't cry for me

There is no fire to put out.

I no longer have a sense of who I am and what I am not.

I look around.

Is this me

or this?

Tadzio!

“I am becoming more and more invisible.

I gave everything I had.

But I will not die.

What remains: a door.

I don't die, I just disappear.

Maybe I'll wake up again.

Then I will come back to find you.”