Original subtitles

Un… un… un… un…

Unbelievable

That's what you are

Come be my coffee table

And I'll be your sofa

Your sofa… your sofa…

Un… un… un… un…

Unbelievable

So near yet so far

Please be the metal cable

To my cable car

Cable car… cable car…

You blossom like a flower

I'm so stunned like vegetable

My girl

You are un… un… un… un…

Unbelievable

Cut!

Hey, hey.

I'm only half way through. Why cut?

This song is repetitive. For the second part,

I'll just loop it. It'll be all right.

Come. Let's go.

Hey, hey.

Wait!

Can't you take a few more shots?

If you shoot a few more angles it will be easier during editing, right?

He looks ugly from any angle.

At this age

and still dreaming of becoming a star.

What era are we living in now?

Singing such an out-of-style song now

is truly unbelievable!

He is my teacher.

The legendary Eric Kwek.

The one and only Eric Kwek.

Who entered Bing Fen 83 singing competition in the 80's,

and reached the top 10 for five consecutive years.

Why are you narrating my story?

Because you were busy crying.

But since it's a narration,

it doesn't matter if I am crying, right?

Right.

And then?

Sorry.

Please carry on.

My name is Eric Kwek Hock Seng.

I was born on 9th August, 1965.

Yes!

The same day my nation was born.

There, there, there.

I'm the one in the basket.

I was officially abandoned on 25th December, 1965.

My mum left me behind with two flowers.

It is truly…

unbelievable!

Who leaves such cheap things with their kids?

My master always said

he made the right choice bringing me home

as I cried the loudest.

Just right for his trade.

Shut up! Stop crying.

LUO'S FAMILY SONG & DANCE ENSEMBLE

I'm not exaggerating when I say

my master specialized in making stars.

This girl is Ah Hua.

She is my master's daughter.

You brother, stand properly.

My kind of girl!

The fat timid looking sissy,

his name is Ah Fei. He is my junior.

He was always skiving.

We underwent a special training from a young age.

Hey!

It's meal time

It's meal time!

White rice with black soy sauce with lard

White rice with black soy sauce with lard

A pair of chopsticks to share with four

Master will start first

And the rest of you

Will have to wait!

We sung instead of talking to each other.

Master wanted to train us to be of the highest standard

before we could finally perform on stage.

You smiled at me last night

I know you haven't eaten enough

Clothes are not ready

Go eat the char siew bun first

My heart is restless around you

How can I bear to see you starve?

You think I'm not home?

You'd better behave or I'll castrate you!

Trying to flirt when I am not around?

No, no, no.

Squat down! I am going to smack your head.

Master!

Wait!

Rascal!

Rascal! Rascal!

For some reason

Master doesn't really like me to be close to his daughter.

But as if I care!

Why you are in love with someone else

Heavy rain from last night

Woke me up from my dream

Wake me up from a good dream

Rain, rain, I beg you not to

But you just had to wake me from my dream

Because of that

That person did not come in my dream for a long time

Missing you, thinking of you

My beloved

My beloved

Is already in love with someone else

I can only remember

This person in my dream

Why are you in love with someone else?

Master!

Don't hit me. Don't hit me.

NORTH-WEST DANCE CLUB

They will sing tonight.

Master has something to say.

Yes.

You must remember some basic stage etiquette.

When seniors hand you the microphone

you must receive with both hands.

-Understand? -Yes！

Take the microphone gently.

Don't give people the impression that you are snatching.

And…

Master want to ask you all…

What's the most important factor when on stage?

The singer?

Stage presence?

Song?

Dancers?

Lighting?

Don't tell me it's the accompaniment!

Wrong!

The most important thing on stage is actually off stage.

Master. Are the off stage cables that important?

I…

It's the audience!

Come, I'll smack your head!

-Hold on, Master. -No, please.

Master, I'm a grown up now. Please, no.

-Please don't hit me in public -Hold on a minute.

No, please.

Every song needs a singer, and an audience to appreciate it too.

Do you understand?

The two of us

We are holding an umbrella together

A little umbrella

It's raining hard

I'll look after you like you'll do to me

You look after me

Though we're walking side by side

In such a downpour

With a bumpy road in front

We have to walk carefully

You and me

Together under a little umbrella

The rain is getting heavier

Even though drenched we are still in a merry mood

Call me. Call me.

I knew I belonged to the public.

You will hear my song on all the radio stations in Singapore.

My heart is like the sand

Nice right?

…you step on

What is that?

My song. I sing one.

Can we not hear that, uncle?

Isn't it nice?

You listen to the end of my song,

I'll give you 50 cents discount.

Your head, uncle!

Nice?

Is my song that bad?

Take me to the hospital right now.

Really? That bad?

Unbelievable.

Aren't you the actor from SBC?

Chua Enlai… Chua Enlai, right?

What kind of song is this?

Why is it in English with this tune?

My song.

It's my style.

Those audience who watch getai

don't really have a good command of English.

So I put the…

English into the songs they like

to make them learn English.

Is it so important for them to learn English?

How can Singaporeans not know English?

The government says that we must master English

so that Singapore can

"prospurse…"

Prosper!

Uncle, you are very patriotic.

Of course!

I was born on National Day.

Born with it, okay?

Actually, uncle, can I be frank with you?

Your type of song…

only a mother would love.

Friend.

Don't listen if you're not happy. Don't talk about Mother.

Get out of my car

Dar, this is for you.

I will help you with the set up.

Go.

Hey. What are you eating?

Supplement.

Why do you need to take supplement?

I'm getting old!

What sort of era we are in now?

How can a product sell without a spokesperson?

It is impossible to market.

If you are such an expert,

why hasn't anyone asked you to be their spokesperson?

I won't be spokesperson for just any kind of product.

You need to be good-looking like me,

and I can write a song for their commercial.

Here. Compose a song now.

Listen!

For joint flexibility

Try Vita Realm JointCare

Caring for you all year round

Good health always

I compose as fast as I fart.

Show off.

Hello, Lawrence?

-Yes. -What up?.

I'll bring few students from my acting class this evening.

Please reserve a few more seats, okay?

Sure!

Don't bring too many. There might not be enough seats.

And don't bring those extras.

Let's not waste everybody's time.

Okay, Teacher.

He came so early to drink coffee.

He's tired.

The trains break down so often.

Taxis should have good business, doesn't he want to earn more?

But you will never earn enough.

You don't know just how fortunate you are.

What?

Your girlfriend used to be

the famous Night Club Butterfly at Balestier, okay?

She was indeed Night Club Butterfly, but has now transformed into Fatty-Fly.

You can have her if you like.

I am a vegetarian.

I will be right back.

-Let me help you. -I'll help myself.

Do your best, okay?

Here you are.

Please help yourselves.

Remember to ask for me when you need more.

We'll help ourselves.

Okay.

Any request?

"The Wanderer's Mood."

I am not in the mood.

"I Want To Ask The Heavens."

Go ask yourself.

"Work Hard To Win."

Work hard yourself to win it.

"Hostess."

I am not a transvestite.

"Mom Please Take Care."

I don't have a mom.

You…

Take it easy, okay?

Okay.

What happened?

Boss, your singer doesn't want to sing.

Hey.

Perform well, please.

I will.

Dress up with heavy make-up

He is singing "Hostess" after all, isn't he?

In order to earn a living,

he will sing any song, even "Eunuch."

He should join the Golden Years TV singing contest

Why doesn't he take part?

You think he should go?

Because his standard is higher.

So arrogant.

And a show off.

He has ambitions.

I know he's your boyfriend.

I won't argue with you.

Thank you. Thank you.

If he sings Hokkien songs every night,

I'll come every night to show my support.

Let's see how long he can hold tonight.

See how long he lasts.

Treat it as a dream

Thank you.

I've obliged your request.

Now I would like to sing you my song.

Here he comes.

Now I present to you my original song.

"I Stick To You Like Underwear."

No! No! No!

Can you show me some respect?

We will leave if you sing.

We can't consume alcohol here after 10:30 PM.

Let's go somewhere else to drink.

Don't leave.

Let me switch on the TV for you.

No point arguing with you all.

I have a lesson to teach.

He just left like that.

Didn't even think of spending time with his girlfriend.

No need. We are not young anymore.

You don't think we will go on cable car rides in Sentosa.

Why not?

You can always go with me if he doesn't want to go.

Unlike him you are still in demand.

You drank too much.

I am intoxicated with you.

Get lost.

I'm sorry for being rude earlier.

Don't worry, I am all right.

You see, if your boyfriend is interested with this competition.

It's not good for him to mope around everyday, right?

What is this?

"Dance with your own MV."

"Finalist will contest in China.

Limited to first 100 applicants only."

He will never sign up for these competitions.

You can queue for him.

Don't I have to work?

Just leave without saying a word.

What is this?

Asking for trouble.

That is true love!

-You are the one looking for trouble. -Yes.

Why must it be this string of all strings?

Where are all my strings?

Not this type.

What?

The show on Sunday is cancelled.

Hello.

Hello. Hello.

How could this be?

No dialect songs are allowed!

What can the audience listen to now?

We can sing Mandarin song.

What about those who don't understand Mandarin?

This government is useless.

Master.

It's not right to criticize the government.

They are right

What?

Listen.

For the country to progress

We must be able to communicate

Start from today

Everyone speaks Mandarin

Listen

And memorize

Speak a few sentences

How cordial

How convenient

Simple and easy

What was that?

It's the "Learn Mandarin" song.

The government is really savvy

to invite Tracy Huang to sing this song.

Have you heard this type of song being sung on getai?

Not that we heard of.

But maybe

the audience will like it.

Go ahead and perform in the night club.

Since all our shows are cancelled anyway.

Nice!

Singapore

Singapore

I love Singapore

This is where I grew up

This is my happiness

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

Hey!

What on Earth was that?

Buzz, buzz, buzz, tiny bees

Fly to the west, fly to the east

Buzz, buzz, buzz, tiny bees

Don't be a lazy bum

Girl, I'll give you 100 dollars.

Please stop singing, okay?

But I love to sing.

I'll add another 50 dollars.

Please top singing.

Hello.

Hello.

Want some noodles?

No, thanks.

Take a seat.

Take a seat.

How unfortunate for you, you don't have work to do?

What do you mean?

Those still dancing out there are worse off.

What?

Look.

I only work three minutes a day and I make enough money.

And them?

Not sure how long before they can go home.

Look.

Am I pretty?

Don't worry.

I can take it.

Am I good looking?

I don't think so.

Do I have the figure?

No.

Can I sing well?

No.

Talented?

This question is a bit personal…

-Just say it! -No.

What do you think I have?

I don't know.

Let me tell you.

I have stra-te-gy…

First of all,

we have to understand our own values

and the market demand.

Focus and expand on our unique qualities

to create a specific market which we can monopolize

Do you get it?

Just look at those girls outside.

Who can disgust the audience more than me?

No one.

So… my kind of money,

they can never earn it like I do in their lifetime.

-Can I buy you a drink? -Sure.

How did this happen?

Serves you right for saying that

I don't have the look, figure, voice, or talent.

But you must not forget what I have taught you.

Stra-te-gy.

This is my home.

You may leave now.

My…

My sunglasses.

Sorry, sorry.

I will see you again.

Why me?

WESTERN POP OUTSELLS MANDO POP -

Sing English songs.

Are you insane?

We are not Michael Jackson

or McDonald's.

Master, it's not McDonald's.

It's Ma… Madonna

-Dad, here she is. -Looks like a ghost.

Master, I am not suggesting that we should sing Western pop,

I am saying we should sing our usual songs but with English lyrics,

the audience can also learn English this way.

Do you even understand English?

I have signed up for English classes.

I have an English name too.

What is it?

Eric Kwek!

Your older brother.

No, no, no, no.

You don't say it that way.

You must say,

"Your older brother."

Your owner blooder.

-Your older brother. -Nice one there.

Hello.

Mr. Eric Kwek.

Can I say no?

Master, this is our new strategy.

I don't care what strategy it is.

We have always sung Hokkien songs.

We'll continue to sing Hokkien songs.

But we are losing our audience.

We will continue even if there is only one left.

Dad.

Master, do you know how much I sacrificed for this strategy?

How… How much?

I am heading out to buy…

Madonna…

Master, please wait.

Older brother.

Hey.

Come over here.

Sit down.

What now?

So, feeling indignant?

I really don't understand.

He doesn't get my point.

He understood you.

But he doesn't agree.

All these years, we have been singing the same old songs.

Dad once told me,

those who visit the getai, they usually have a tough time at work.

They come to relieve themselves from their fatigue

and reminisce about their past.

So let's just do that for them.

All right.

Let me tell you a secret.

What secret?

Dad got drunk the other day.

He told me a lot of things.

He said, there's a samsui woman

behind every man.

How is this considered a secret?

I'm not done.

He said this samsui woman would

build you a house and shelter you from harsh weather.

Even if she doesn't stay with you till the end,

she has already resided in your heart.

That's quite mushy of your dad.

That is why every time he…

You got it!

Don't tell me that those samsui women and him…

I didn't say anything.

Oh, well. But think about it.

How many grannies are still around?

And there are less audiences than before.

How are we going to survive?

I still need to take care of you.

Don't go! Don't go!

I wrote you an English song.

Let's learn ABC from my do re mi

ABC is not preserved veggie fried with bread

English is really interesting

If you sing with me

A is not shoes but is an alphabet

B is not look at cards but a little bee

C is not dying but is the third letter

And this is ABC

My pattern not more than badminton

My theory not more than strawberry

English is very easy

If you sing with me

Red snapper is ang go li

Long black add milk is kopi

Coins and notes are money

Isn't this easy to remember?

I love you

is I love you

You love me is you love me

I love you and you love me

Hey, please sing with me

Nice song?

Nice.

I think this song will be a hit.

And I will be famous too.

Why do you want to be famous?

If you want to be in the limelight

you must aim to be famous.

I will compose more songs.

I want to release an album!

Now we mark attendance.

Where is my Extra King?

Present, teacher!

But can you not call me Extra King? I am a part-time actor.

It's the same.

These are my friends.

Aunty Lucy.

She's here.

Aunty Fanny is here too.

So is Uncle Bill, all present.

Okay.

For the newcomers, I have to highlight to you.

My songs are Hokkien style,

but the lyrics are in English.

You can only find this style here and not anywhere else.

Anyone else who does this and is not me is a copycat.

Now we touch on stage presence.

My heart is like the sand you step on

You build sandcastles with my heart

From dusk to dawn

Your spade hurts me so badly

Every time you dig, dig, dig

And the waves come too soon

And wash my heart away out to sea

Jelly fish stings me

Hermit crabs walk on me

I am bullied by everything

From a seagull to a sardine

I am your guppy

Your guppy, your guppy, your guppy

The moment…

You must perform like you live in the moment.

You are the only one that matters.

You must own the moment. You got it?

Do you mean "live in the moment"?

Yes.

It's so lengthy to explain in English?

I was elaborating.

That is to add details to an account or idea

and clarify the meaning of and discourse in a learned way.

Do you understand?

I understand.

What you just said is the feeling I want to experience.

Teacher.

I seem to have known you for a long time.

That escalated quickly?

Teacher.

You are just like those outdated celebs

who are still hogging the variety shows on TV,

struggling to get attention.

So, teacher,

I have known you for a long time.

Bye-bye.

Guess what, man? The foreign talent is right.

Get out of my class! Get out!

What's wrong with you guys?

What's wrong with you? I told you not to bring these people.

My songs are not for ordinary people.

What do these young punks know.

I didn't know.

You don't know. You don't understand my music is not for them

or you don't understand they're not for my music?

Teacher, I really love your music.

When I was young, my mom let me listen daily…

Stop! Don't bring your mom into this.

Face it like a man.

Teacher.

-I'm sorry. -Sorry no cure.

Teacher.

Teacher, I'm sorry.

NAN LI KANG

Still angry?

If they like let them, if they don't like let them too.

Music is subjective.

Everyone tells me to find another man.

Yet I am still with you.

You don't like it.

It's fine with me.

You can always look for someone else.

You!

Make way.

Don't be stupid

I am only kidding, don't be so serious.

I saw this singing competition--

Stop!

How many times do I have to tell you?

Eric Kwek is a professional singer.

Eric Kwek does not do competition anymore.

Do you understand?

Do you know who I am?

Okay.

What?

Not going home?

You just had the herbal capsule…

And you want me to go home?

Yes.

Listen.

Only Lawrence will support you blindly.

You better apologize to him tomorrow.

Otherwise your one and only supporter will be gone too.

You will be the lead actor's long lost buddy.

You haven't met each other since he betrayed you.

But you bump into each other in this hospital.

You have mixed feelings. Do you know how to portray that?

Yes, I do.

You go figure out yourself.

You want to find out the reasons behind his betrayal.

-You up for it? -Okay.

-Tan. -Yes?

Who are these people?

Students.

-Students? -Yes.

This is a hospital scene.

Why can't a hospital scene have students?

Tan, Tan. Could you make it more realistic?

Don't let others find out this is SCAPE.

But the director said as long as there are nurses in the background

the audience will think this is a hospital.

Where's your nurse then?

Come over here.

Wings on your nurse?

Yes, that's right.

What is this?

The wait is so long that the patient becomes a skeleton?

And with an oxygen mask.

Quickly, take it away.

Where was I?

You, lines.

You say, "What are you doing here?"

He says, "It's been a while."

You say, "It's better not to meet people like you!"

He says, "How have you been?"

You say, "Still surviving! Don't be so fake!

You think I will forgive you after such frivolous greetings."

It's a bit lengthy towards the end, can you manage?

-I can. -Good.

He says, "You've misunderstood!"

"Misunderstood? You betrayed me!"

Any questions?

It's the first time I have so many lines.

Hello, don't you say I never gave you chance.

Go memorize your lines.

You guys?

Nothing.

I just drove Jack Neo back.

His office is a level down. He told me that

there's a shoot up here, and I can just come visit the set.

How's everything? Did you manage to apply what I have taught you?

Yes I did. I even applied suntan lotion.

I will just hang around.

You go ahead with what you need to do.

Sure. I shall go memorize my lines.

Excuse me, uncle.

Non-authorized personnel, please step aside.

Standby.

Director, ready?

Ready.

Three, two, one, action!

It's you.

It's been a while

It's been a while?

Better to see less of your kind of people.

How are you?

Still surviving.

You…

Stop being…

Sorry… Sorry. I forgot my lines.

Cut!

Hey!

Trying to take over my role?

Cut is such an important cue.

I should be the one saying it, okay?

Cut!

Action!

Still surviving.

Stop being so…

Stop being so…

So fake!

Don't think with such frivolous greetings

I will forget what you have done to me!

You…

You've misunderstood.

I've misunderstood?

It was clear that you've betrayed me!

Betrayed me…

Boss, thank you for remembering us.

Thank you.

You must sing well!

It's difficult to operate a getai now.

If there's no audience, I will not be able to run the show.

And you can't perform too. Do you understand?

Don't worry! We will do our best

-Don't worry. -Don't screw this up.

Yes…

Hear that? Don't embarrass me tonight.

Take a look for yourself.

There's barely a crowd.

We can't go on like this. We need a change.

What is change?

Change.

How do you plan to change?

Let's ignore master.

You shall play my original song.

Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to Low's Troupe.

Music. please!

"Little Umbrella."

Hokkien song.

You and me

Together we carry a little umbrella

Little umbrella

The rain is big

I take care of you and you take care of me

You take care of me

Closely, together we walk

When it's raining cats and dogs

The tiny road is slippery

Hold my hand, walk carefully

You and me

What on earth is he singing?

I don't know.

What are you singing?

Are they serious?

Is this how you sing this song?

It's unbearable.

Let's go, let's go.

Stop watching.

I don't want to see you anymore!

Boss!

No one will ever hear us sing anymore!

None of you support me!

I support you! Call me!

I'll call you when I need to order pork!

Scram.

Senior, don't be angry.

It's my fault, I was afraid Master would get angry.

That's why I didn't play your song.

Why are you such a coward!

You want me to fail on stage?

I will prove you wrong, sissy!

Why are you scolding him?

Have you ever thanked him for arranging your music?

That's his job, okay?

I am a product and he's the packaging.

I am high quality. It's easy for him to package me.

If he likes packaging so much,

he should do gift wrapping for kids at Yaohan Company.

Your older brother, I don't understand.

I don't want to fight with you.

Master.

Your songs are outdated.

There's no market for old songs.

It's the quality that matters, not age.

It's about novelty and not quality.

You are too stubborn.

-Get lost. -I will.

-Senior. -Let go of me, it's all because of you.

Why did you hit him?

Go away.

Betrayed me…

You betrayed me…

Why did you hit him?

Let go of me.

Old fart! Where are you from?

Take care of your image.

Please let go of me. Thank you!

Let go！

And you, let go!

It's you.

It has been a while.

Better to see less of your kind of people.

How have you been?

Surviving. Stop being so fake.

With such frivolous greetings, you want me to forget the past?

No, you have misunderstood.

Have I?

You betrayed me! And you think I have misunderstood you?

Cut!

Good take.

Such fantastic performances, my eyes are

teary

But who are you guys?

You are not my actors.

Why are you making trouble on set?

Sorry.

You…

You look very familiar.

I remember.

Aren't you the famous music producer

Lee Yun Fei?

Am I right?

Yes.

So honored to meet you. Come, let's hug.

No.

You don't do hugs?

It's fine.

Here to watch our rehearsals?

You acted so well.

No, I am here for recording.

He is my…

Him?

My senior!

Your senior?

Senior.

Nice meeting you.

I am glad to meet you!

How is everything?

Are you married?

Yes, I am.

And you? Are you married?

Me?

Of course not.

I belong to the public, how can I get married?

Do you know Jackie Chan?

I do.

Of course…

Who doesn't know Jackie Chan?

When he announced that he was getting married,

a Japanese fan jumped in front of a train and took her own life.

Do you know Andy Lau?

I do.

Do you know that when he got married and had children,

a Chinese fan took his own life by jumping into the sea?

It is a dilemma for me.

The celebrity's burden, you know?

Are you still working on the same old kind of job?

That music arrangement stuff?

Same old, same old.

Have you ever cut an album of your own?

Of course not.

I don't even know how to sing.

I think I haven't mentioned this to you.

I have my very own album.

Come dance

Once you move your step

Forget about whoever else

Just treat it

As a dream

Drink up.

Cheers.

Pretty.

I will sing my original song now.

Tum Pang

is hitching

Go Chinatown you sit in lorry

Hello. Shut up.

Get out.

Don't you ever listen?

I've already told you not to sing this type of song.

Are you a pig or a cow?

I am a cockroach that cannot be beaten.

You can't kill me.

Then you should go home and give some thought to it.

If you refuse to change, don't come back again.

I can assure you that I won't change.

If you think so

then don't come here anymore.

Money…

I don't have…

Body…

Can we not go there?

Do I look like that kind of person?

By the way, I am Daniel.

You speak English?

Sure. Of course.

Actually, I want to tell you I love your songs.

I am bullied by everything

From a seagull to a sardine

I am your guppy

Your guppy, your guppy

So how is it?

Very good!

So what now?

It will be a pity if you don't cut your own album.

You should invest in your future.

Invest some money into your own album.

Invest some money into my own album?

Why would you want to sell your copyright to others?

Fork out your own money, and earn it back.

This deal is good, isn't it?

Good. How much do I need?

Fifty thousand.

So much?

You are a star! That's not a lot.

I can only fork out 10,000 at the most.

Let's drop the idea.

Give me a chance, Daniel.

-Give a chance. -Too big a risk.

Didn't you say it's a pity if I don't cut my own album?

I…I meant it is really costly to cut an album.

Go.

This way to exit. This way to exit.

You go.

Just go.

-Didn't you just say… -Just go.

I haven't finished what I want to say. I…

Boss. Boss.

"The unbeatable cockroach." Have you thought it through?

Yes.

Only a frog would not understand

and jump into the water.

"Cockroach" knows how to tell a lame joke.

What makes you think I'll hire you again?

Please, boss.

Please, please.

Finally I found you.

Let me tell you.

I have thought it through.

I will help you fork out the remaining sum.

Let's go to record your album.

Wow.

Awesome! Awesome!

Do you know Michael Jackson?

Yes.

His signature move is the Moonwalk, right?

Do you know my special dance move?

What?

I call it the Sundance.

Show me.

The ground is burning hot.

One, two, three, four.

Burning hot.

Raffles style.

Raffles what?

Raffles style.

Okay.

Raffles style.

Okay.

This is the master tape.

This is the first step towards my dream.

What is the next step?

The next is

to be famous.

I want everybody to sing my song.

Wherever I go, I want people to recognize me.

And?

I want to get my girlfriend back.

Why are you afraid of not having a girlfriend?

You are going to be a megastar.

She is different.

I don't want her to be my samsui woman.

So that is all of your dreams?

I have not thought so far ahead.

Can I buy you a drink?

No, thanks.

I have to wake up early tomorrow.

And print 5,000 copies, 5,000!

You are right.

Thank you.

Go home early and rest.

Thank you!

Count on me.

Your friend did not leave a contact number.

Did you not know each other?

He said he was going to print 5,000 copies

and told me to get them.

No such thing though.

Please, please, check again.

Can't you call him?

I don't have his number.

Me too.

Senior.

Sorry to trouble you to take me home.

I'll pay you the cab fare later.

Let me know the amount.

Hello, what are you talking about?

You are my junior.

Who would take you home if I don't?

Are you old and senile?

Can't find your own home?

Are you lost?

It is right in front.

-Where? -Here.

You can stop here.

This is my home.

Oh my!

This way, please.

Wow. Are you crazy about flowers?

There are flowers on your door and flowers on your walls.

There are flowers everywhere.

Jackie Chan!

Teacher, Jackie Chan.

You really do know Jackie Chan?

Teacher.

Andy Lau.

You know Andy Lau too?

I arranged songs for him before.

Hubby.

So early today?

Ah Hua?

You…

You called him hubby?

Yes.

You called him hubby?

Yes.

You called him hubby?

Yes.

You called him hubby?

Yes.

You called him hubby?

Yes.

You called him--

Teacher…

You asked six times already.

How could you marry this sissy?

Your older brother! You are so rude!

He's my husband! What are you going to do about it?

What do you expect me to do?

Let go of the past.

This life has witnessed one storm too many

I know this song.

Ah Hua.

Why did you marry the sissy?

Ah Hua.

Ninety-eight.

Ninety-nine.

Last from. One hundred!

Last from. One hundred!

I got it!

Yay!

Aunty, please don't waste time?

You are so old already, you will surely lose if you take part.

You have to write a new song.

What can you offer at this age?

What do you mean?

I said you know nothing!

I said no.

Thank you

Go quickly

Don't go!

Brat.

Fight with me?

I am Shaolin Temple's…

neighbor…

Doctor, how is she?

Unbelievable.

Such a beauty.

Doctor.

Please don't lie to us.

We need you to be believable.

No.

I meant her posture is so beautiful!

Is this the long lost Dragon's Claw?

Yes.

All for this piece of paper? And she was knocked by your car?

"Singing competition application form."

Even more unbelievable.

Teacher.

I think she got it for you.

Doctor.

Will she recover?

The force is strong within her,

helping her to recover.

But as to when she will wake up,

I can't be sure.

Keep talking to her and see if she responds.

Okay?

Dragon's Claw.

Dragon's Claw.

I promise you…

I will enter this competition.

Teacher.

She is responding.

Maybe if you win this competition,

she will be overjoyed and wake up.

What is the matter?

We are here to discourage you from entering the competition.

Come on, just sit back a little.

Why?

Do you remember Daniel?

Which Daniel?

That guy who wanted to help you out with your album.

But took off later.

Thanks for reminding.

This singing competition

is organized by him.

It might not be a scam every time,

but just be careful.

Wouldn't that be great?

I can claim my $10,000 back with interest.

Then please bring back my dad's $40,000 as well.

What?

Your older brother!

Did you really think Daniel would be so kind?

The boss of the record company told my dad

you had no money for your album.

My dad wanted to help you.

He gave the money to Daniel without my knowledge.

I had a fight with him over this.

Dad told me he would leave the house.

I told him to go ahead.

And he really left.

He left the house.

And has not returned since.

Where is Master now?

He has been missing for so long,

we have to assume that he has already…

passed on.

We can only advise you.

To do or not to do, it is your choice.

We hope you don't waste your time.

Okay, Mr. Chen, no problem,

I will see you on Saturday.

Daddy.

My music video is done.

My Omega fish oil! Come, come. Are you tired?

Give Daddy a hug.

Go!

Come, have a seat.

How's everything?

I tell you,

a lot of people are giving us money to shoot the music video.

The moment we mention we have contacts in China,

even the government will give us money.

As for those idiots,

we can make extra profit from them.

Daddy.

No matter what happens, you must promise me

I am the winner, okay?

Why are you worried?

The whole plan is to generate publicity for you.

By this weekend, I will let the whole world know

who is my

Omega Cui.

Kabe Don, Kabe Don, Kabe Don.

I bought flowers for you.

Do you like them?

I tell you,

I have never bought flowers for any girl before.

But I bought them specially

for you today

Master has something to say.

Master, are you a ghost?

Why?

I can't visit you as a ghost?

Not that.

But don't make it a habit.

Master wants to ask you.

You are already 50 years old this year.

Is your dream or the reality more important?

The great comedian and director Stephen Chow once said,

"If one has no aspirations,

he is no different from a salted fish."

If you are originally a salted fish, does it matter if you have aspirations?

You are just a salted fish with dreams.

Then I look forward to the day

when the salted fish can stage a comeback,

Comeback or not, isn't it still a salted fish?

Master.

As a ghost, can you not be such a bother?

This is known as Gibberish talk.

Can you say something constructive?

Master has something to say.

Every song needs a singer.

But it needs an audience too.

I have heart for you

But I never have the courage to tell you so

My love, I cannot find you anywhere

You render my life meaningless

I think about you

I think about your love

I think about our love that was long gone

A year passed

A year of heartache

Days of sorrowful longing

A day passed

A day of heartache

Excruciating pain that is incurable

I slip into the nights

Of endless wakes

I ask the heavens in desperation

I asked for you

And in my dream I hear your voice

How do I forget?

How can I not remember?

I struggle to the horizon of loneliness

How do I forget?

How can I not remember?

I sail to the horizon of loneliness

Master, I…

What kind of style do you want?

Ah Fei, I am not as prolific as you.

I only have one style.

And Man Li only likes this one style of mine.

This song is specially written for Man Li.

So can I stick to my own style?

Of course!

Ah Hua.

Do you still remember what Master once said?

In every man's life

there will be a samsui woman.

I am glad that you have understood.

In this world, how many reciprocal loves will there be?

My girl

You are un… un… un… un… un…

Unbelievable

Cut.

Remember this. Don't ever tell anyone

that I shot this music video.

I have transferred it to your thumb drive

So fast?

Did you edit it properly?

For goodness' sake, what kind of song is this?

Don't join the competition, you'll only waste audience's time.

Lawrence.

Shooting this music video today

only proves that

I am outdated.

Teacher.

This music video competition is for Man Li, not for me.

So please help me take care of it.

I am going home to sleep.

From tomorrow onwards,

I will not sing anymore.

But one day, I want to hear your song.

Teacher, I promise you,

you will definitely hear my music one day.

But I think you should not give up so easily.

Your music can make it.

And I have never told you how I got to know your songs.

Actually your songs were recommended to me by my mom.

Your mom?

She passed away already.

Sorry, I'm didn't know.

Anyway, she used to be one of your biggest fans.

Back in the day, she used to tape all your live performances

and show me when I was young.

I used to eat with your song, sleep with your song,

bathe with your song.

You know what?

-I even shit with your song. -Okay, okay.

But that was one of my best childhood memories.

I'm honored.

Since I was young, I've always known that your songs are good.

It's just that they haven't met the right audience.

And if my mom was still alive to see you become famous…

she would definitely be your fan club president.

I can't remember I have such a great fan.

She even asked me if one day you become famous,

will you autograph her photo with you?

-I brought her photo, I'll show you. -No need.

I am too ashamed to face my fan.

Goodbye.

Teacher.

Teacher.

Master!

You gave me a shock.

Have you seen a ghost that knocks?

No, you are the first ghost I've encountered.

Master has something to say.

Yes.

Your awakening is near.

Will you still hold on to your wig?

Why bother wearing it?

Dreams can be shattered,

but not your image.

Do I have an image?

Isn't he…

Un…un…un…un…un

Unbelievable

That's what you are

Come be my coffee table

And I'll be your sofa

Un…un…un…un…un

Unbelievable

So near yet so far

Please be the metal cable to my cable car

You blossom like a flower

I'm so stunned like vegetable

My girl

You are un…un…un…un…un

Unbelievable

Un…un…un…un…un

Unbelievable

That's what you are

Come be my metal cable

And I'll be your sofa

You blossom like a flower

I'm so stunned like vegetable

My girl

You are un…un…un…un…un

Unbelievable

My family and I hope that your girlfriend will get well soon.

Yes, yes.

Thank you, so kind of you.

Your song is nice.

Nice.

I have been singing them for ages,

you never said they were nice.

Now that everyone loves it, I think it is nice too.

Nice.

So this is how the entertainment industry operates.

Teacher, I uploaded your song onto the Internet last night.

Over a million people have seen it so far.

Wow.

Everybody is praying

for Man Li's recovery.

Thank you

You blossom like a flower

I'm so stunned like vegetable

My girl

You are un…un…un…un…un

Unbelievable

You are awake.

She has woken up.

It's lovely.

Did you wake up after hearing my song?

No.

I have not pooped for days.

I cannot hold it in anymore.

But now I wake up to this song.

It's so lovely!

Yeah, I wrote it for you

For me? Really?

So are we steady?

Yes, yes, yes.

Our union is three parts predestined

Seven parts by car accident

Don't spout nonsense.

Hello. The newspapers?

Hong Ming Hua?

Sorry, please hold on.

Hello, the papers again?

Chen Yun Hong?

Sorry, please wait a minute. Hold on.

Hello.

Okay…

From the papers too?

Teacher, director Jack Neo is asking you

not to sign and agreement with the TV station first.

He wants to cast you in his movie,

Cast in Director Neo's movie?

Wow!

Yay!

This guy is out for revenge.

Daddy, what should we do?

Daddy has no solution now.

I don't care! I want to win!

You are very annoying! Get out!

Teacher, this way.

Will you call me?

Of course.

My old friend.

When you are free, let's go for a cup of tea.

All right?

Okay, sorry… Please clear the way.

Eric Kwek, the wait is finally over!

Me too!

Teacher, this way.

Keep it up, Eric Kwek!

KABE DON

Kabe Don, Kabe Don

Kabe, Kabe, Kabe Don

Kabe Don, Kabe Don

Kabe, Kabe, Kabe Don

Kabe Don Kabe Don

Kabe Kabe Kabe Don

Kabe Don, Kabe Don

Kabe, Kabe, Kabe Don

Don't fake your ignorance When you come before me

Don't let me sob Waste no time and chase me now

Come to me and Kabe Don, Kabe Don

Kabe, Kabe, Kabe Don

Kabe Don, Kabe Don

Kabe, Kabe, Kabe Don

Master, how many times do you have to scare me in a day?

I am nervous enough already.

Listen to me, Eric.

When did you learn to speak English?

I am a ghost, and I know everything.

Eric Kwek, stand by, you are up next.

I want you to know this.

You must believe in yourself

to be truly unbelievable.

Thank you, Master.

You better be obedient

You better be decent

Otherwise, I will pick up my fatal scissors

And turn you into a eunuch

Thank you, Omega.

Now let us put our hands together

and welcome the hottest guy in town,

Eric Kwek.

Eric, are you nervous?

I am good.

Very good.

Let's watch his music video

and his live performance.

Let's put our hands together.

Hold on. Hold on.

Please hold on.

Please do not sing.

Eric's song

"Unbelievable"

was uploaded onto the Internet before the competition.

This action violated the copyright of the competition.

He is therefore

disqualified.

Disqualified?

At the same time,

we reserve the right to sue him.

Sue?

Sue your head!

Not fair!

You bald man, you're cheating.

Teacher, I am sorry!

No problem. It's okay.

Thank you, everybody, for liking my song.

I am very grateful.

Before this,

people asked me

why do I want to be famous?

In my younger days, I would have said

I want the whole world

to know my name.

But…

Even if everyone knows me,

so what?

Are fame and fortune really a big deal?

Today…

I finally have the courage to face myself.

I think…

if my mother was still around…

she would like to know that I am standing right here.

Thank you.

Un…un…un…un

Unbelievable

That's what you are

Come be my coffee table

And I'll be your sofa

Your sofa, your sofa

Un…un…un…un

Unbelievable

So near yet so far

Please be the metal cable

To my cable car

Cable car, cable car

You blossom like a flower

I'm so stunned like vegetable

My girl

You are un…un…un…un…un

Unbelievable

Un…un…un…un

Unbelievable

That's what you are

Come be my coffee table

And I'll be your sofa

Un…un…un…un

Unbelievable

That's what you are

Please be the metal cable

To my cable car

Cable car, cable car

You blossom like a flower

I'm so stunned like vegetable

My girl

You are un…un…un…un…un

Unbelievable

Daddy, what should we do?

Quickly announce that I am the winner.

Don't call me daddy here. There are so many people.

See? They are taking our pictures

Master. How could you emerge in front of so many people?

What are you talking about?

Can ghosts grow old?

How can a ghost grow old?

I am not dead.

I saw your music video from the phone of a guy at a coffee shop.

And that is how I know to find you here.

What was that I saw before?

Dad.

Why did you not come home for so long?

After we quarreled that day,

I left home without looking back.

When I walked out of the house, nobody bothered to pull me back.

So I kept walking and walking

and walking.

And walking and walking.

And walking and walking and walking.

And walking and walking.

And walking and walking. And walking and walking.

And eventually I lost my way

and couldn't find my way back.

Is that even possible?

I want to reveal

a secret I have kept for 50 years.

Actually, your mom did not abandon you.

You are my illegitimate son with a samsui woman.

What? What?

You are my father?

You are my brother?

Yes, Eric,

I am your father.

No wonder you always stopped me going after Ah Hua.

Your father let you down.

Can you forgive me?

Father.

-Father. -Son.

Father.

Father.

Father-in-law.

Congratulations on your reunion!

Teacher.

Can I trouble you for a favor please?

Yes. Lawrence.

Anything for you.

This is for my mom. Your autograph, please.

She's your mom?

That's right

You are…

my…

Now that everyone is here,

let's exchange your vows.

Aunty, you first.

I'll be your coffee table.

Will you be my sofa?

Yes.

Uncle.

Next.

Will you be the metal cable to my cable car?

Yes.

I now pronounce you

flower and vegetable.

Soar!

From this day onwards, flower and broccoli were tied together.

It represents unbelievable love.

I am 50 years old this year.

I want to write a song for my father.

The song is

"I'm 50 Years Old".

I am 50 years old this year

I have many friends and buddies

I'm not embarrassed to sing and dance

I'm as hot as the young celebs

People say that I am quite arrogant

I tell them not to sprout nonsense

Show your capability to earn your trophy

Never lose your poise even if you lose out in numbers

Because I am a Singaporean

I have my own dream

I survive with an indomitable passion

Because I am a Singaporean

I love to work hard

So life will become easy

The country turns 50 years old this year

She has been through difficult times

We were once looked down upon

But we made it big on our own now

Be content with yourself and not overthink

Gather your friends and buddies

Fight together with pride

So we don't have to pay and pay

Because I am a Singaporean

I have my dream

I survive with an indomitable passion

Because I am a Singaporean

I love to work hard

So life will become easy

The country turns 50 years old

We miss the presence of an old man

Although we have lost him

We shall remember his spirit

The country turns 50 years old

We miss the presence of this old man

A-Gong, A-Gong, do not be scared

We will walk on when all else fail

A-Gong, A-Gong, do not be scared

We will walk on when all else fail

A-Gong, A-Gong do not be scared

We will walk on together when all else fail

Lil sis, big brother is giving you $100, can you stop singing?

But I love singing.

I'm giving you an extra $50, just stop singing.

Please don't sing anymore, okay?

But I love singing!

I'm giving you an extra $50…

Sorry…

Please don't talk about the past anymore.

You should cry!

But you're laughing.

-I really want you to laugh! -Really!

Lots of wind and rain in your life…

Stop!

Cut, cut, cut.

I'm gonna take you home tonight to Kabe Don.

Nonsense!

Rich!

Are you insane?

Help!

I walked out of the door, but no one was trying to pull me back.

So I just kept walking.

And walking and walking and walking.

And walking and walking…

And walking and walking. And then…

I'm only giving them the sound.

I told you not to try so hard.

Long time no see. Long time no see.

These type of people, better have less dealings with them.

Nice to meet you.

Director… Overrun!

Is it your turn or my turn? You wanna take my place?

Let's take a selfie for memory!

Selfies are good. Good, good.

One, two, three!

Hey, pretty girl, would you like to take MB?

Do you know the ad about MB is filmed by me?

It's true. I filmed it.

Don't believe it?