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1
00:00:06,273 --> 00:00:07,273
OW!
2
00:00:08,275 --> 00:00:09,275
OW.
3
00:00:10,378 --> 00:00:12,422
OW.
4
00:00:12,446 --> 00:00:13,423
HERE'S YOUR PENCIL.
5
00:00:13,447 --> 00:00:15,347
THANK YOU.
6
00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:28,471
WAIT A SECOND.
7
00:00:28,495 --> 00:00:29,806
LET ME UNDERSTAND THIS.
8
00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:31,140
SO YOU NEVER REGISTERED?
9
00:00:31,164 --> 00:00:33,476
NO. I DIDN'T WANT
TO MAKE PEOPLE BUY
10
00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:35,211
SPECIFIC STUFF AT
A SPECIFIC PLACE.
11
00:00:35,235 --> 00:00:36,613
YEAH, BUT YOU WANT PRESENTS.
12
00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:38,281
I WOULD LOVE TO GET PRESENTS.
13
00:00:38,305 --> 00:00:40,717
I JUST REALLY DON'T WANT
THIS TO BE ABOUT PRESENTS.
14
00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:42,552
JAMIE, IT'S A BABY SHOWER.
15
00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:43,553
OK. THAT.
16
00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:44,621
WHAT?
17
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:46,022
CALLING IT A BABY SHOWER.
18
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:48,224
IT JUST SOUNDS SO
REDBOOK MAGAZINE.
19
00:00:48,248 --> 00:00:49,559
IT'S JUST NOT ME.
20
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,628
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO CALL IT?
21
00:00:51,652 --> 00:00:54,697
UH, CELEBRATION, JUST
HAVING FRIENDS OVER.
22
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:55,832
YEAH, THAT'S GOOD.
23
00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:56,833
CATCHY.
24
00:00:56,857 --> 00:00:58,801
ALL RIGHT. FINE.
CALL IT A SHOWER,
25
00:00:58,825 --> 00:01:00,870
BUT EVERYBODY'S GONNA
KNOW IT'S NOT THAT, RIGHT?
26
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,338
YEAH.
27
00:01:02,362 --> 00:01:04,674
NOW, CAN WE TALK
ABOUT THE GAMES?
28
00:01:04,698 --> 00:01:05,809
WHOA. GAMES?
29
00:01:05,833 --> 00:01:07,577
JAMES, IT'S A BABY SHOWER.
30
00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:10,881
WELL, I HAVE THIS FRIEND
IN MY LAMAZE CLASS
31
00:01:10,905 --> 00:01:12,215
WHO PLAYS THE GUITAR.
32
00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:13,583
Fran: THE GUITAR.
33
00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:16,586
YEAH. SHE SINGS MATERNAL HYMNS
FROM THIRD-WORLD COUNTRIES.
34
00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:17,921
I WOULD LIKE THAT.
35
00:01:17,945 --> 00:01:19,122
OH, OK.
36
00:01:19,146 --> 00:01:21,424
UM, WE'LL SAY MAYBE.
37
00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:23,893
NOW, HOW ABOUT THE
BABY-PICTURE GAME?
38
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,361
I LOVE THAT.
39
00:01:25,385 --> 00:01:27,030
WE DID IT AT MY SHOWER.
40
00:01:27,054 --> 00:01:28,665
IT WAS REALLY SILLY FUN.
41
00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:30,000
PAUL, REMEMBER? MY SHOWER?
42
00:01:30,024 --> 00:01:32,002
UH, DID I GO TO THAT?
43
00:01:32,026 --> 00:01:34,170
NO, BUT I TOLD YOU ABOUT IT.
44
00:01:34,194 --> 00:01:35,839
THE PICTURES, WITH THE GAMES?
45
00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:36,840
NO.
46
00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:38,341
THE GAMES, WITH THE PICTURES?
47
00:01:38,365 --> 00:01:39,342
YES.
48
00:01:39,366 --> 00:01:41,578
THERE WERE LIKE 30
WOMEN THERE. YES.
49
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,413
YEAH, I GUESSED
27 OF THEM RIGHT.
50
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,548
MMM. WELL, BOY.
51
00:01:45,572 --> 00:01:47,684
GOD HAS GIVEN YOU MANY GIFTS.
52
00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:50,353
SO WE'RE GONNA DO
THE BABY-PICTURE GAME,
53
00:01:50,377 --> 00:01:53,223
AND WE'RE GONNA DO
THE... THE GUMMI BEARS!
54
00:01:53,247 --> 00:01:55,458
I WANNA DO THE GUMMI BEARS.
55
00:01:55,482 --> 00:01:56,826
OK. GUMMI BEARS.
56
00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:59,962
I WAS THINKING WE COULD ALL
READ A POEM BY DEENA METZGER.
57
00:01:59,986 --> 00:02:02,065
SHE'S THIS RADICAL
FEMINIST POET, WHO...
58
00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:05,301
MAYBE WE COULD DO THE
POEMS AND THE GUMMI BEARS.
59
00:02:05,325 --> 00:02:07,704
OK. COUPLE OF GUMMI
BEARS NEVER HURT ANYBODY.
60
00:02:07,728 --> 00:02:09,706
BECAUSE I FOUND
THE PERFECT BOTTLE.
61
00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:11,074
LOOK, IS THAT PERFECT?
62
00:02:11,098 --> 00:02:12,241
THAT'S SO CUTE.
63
00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:13,743
Fran: DEBBIE, IT'S ADORABLE.
64
00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:14,811
PAUL! HOW CUTE IS THIS?!
65
00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:16,479
OH, LOOK AT THAT. THAT'S CUTE.
66
00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:18,281
BOY, IF YOU'RE
NURSING A LINEBACKER,
67
00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:19,615
THAT'S JUST THE THING.
68
00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:20,650
IT'S FOR GUMMI BEARS.
69
00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:21,784
FOR GUMMI BEARS?
70
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:22,819
YOU FILL IT WITH CANDY.
71
00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:24,087
I SEE.
72
00:02:24,111 --> 00:02:26,923
EVERYBODY TRIES TO GUESS
HOW MANY ARE IN THERE.
73
00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:28,925
THE CLOSEST TAKES ALL THE CANDY.
74
00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:29,926
A GAME, THEN?
75
00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:31,560
ARE YOU BEING LEFT OUT? NO.
76
00:02:31,584 --> 00:02:32,829
BECAUSE YOU ARE BEING LEFT OUT.
77
00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:34,630
SURE. I DON'T WANT THAT.
78
00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:35,632
THAT'S OK.
79
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,266
SEE, THIS IS WHAT I WAS SAYING.
80
00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:38,602
CAN'T WE INVITE MEN?
81
00:02:38,626 --> 00:02:40,403
WHY MUST IT BE SO CLUBBY?
82
00:02:40,427 --> 00:02:42,338
SHOW HIM THE
INVITATIONS. LOOK AT THESE.
83
00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:43,339
NOW, THAT'S CUTE, TOO.
84
00:02:43,363 --> 00:02:44,608
NOW, HOW CUTE IS THAT?!
85
00:02:44,632 --> 00:02:45,742
IT'S VERY CUTE.
86
00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:47,343
OOH, IT'S A LITTLE BABY'S FOOT.
87
00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:49,078
SEE THE FOOTIES, THERE.
88
00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:50,280
OH, OPEN IT UP.
89
00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:52,816
"HELP US GET OUR BABY
OFF ON THE RIGHT FOOT."
90
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,018
I GOTTA SAY, I LIKE
THE BUNNIES. LOOK.
91
00:02:55,042 --> 00:02:56,286
THESE ARE ALL SO CUTE.
92
00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:57,787
BUT LOOK AT THESE FOOTSIES.
93
00:02:57,811 --> 00:02:59,021
OH, THE LITTLE TOOTSIES.
94
00:02:59,045 --> 00:03:00,690
MAKES ME WANT TO EAT THEM.
95
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,766
Paul: SOMEBODY SAY
THE WORD "HOCKEY."
96
00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:11,267
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?
97
00:03:11,291 --> 00:03:13,703
IF I HEAR ONE MORE WORD
ABOUT BABIES AND BOOTIES
98
00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:15,205
AND SHOWERS OR ANYTHING FUZZY,
99
00:03:15,229 --> 00:03:18,007
I'M GONNA PUT A BULLET IN
MY HEAD. NO KIDDING AROUND.
100
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,008
MARVIN.
101
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,677
THE WORDS "FUZZY BABY BOOTIES"
102
00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:22,545
WILL NOT PASS
THROUGH THESE LIPS.
103
00:03:22,569 --> 00:03:23,546
THANK YOU.
104
00:03:23,570 --> 00:03:24,847
WHAT DID I TELL YOU?
105
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,182
EVERYBODY TOLD YOU THIS.
106
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,017
ONCE YOU HAVE A BABY,
EVERYTHING CHANGES.
107
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:29,686
WHAT BABY? THERE IS NO BABY.
108
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,354
THERE'S JUST TALK OF A BABY.
109
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,356
WHEN IS THE BABY?
HOW'S THE BABY?
110
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:36,392
WHAT KIND OF BABY? LET'S
HAVE A SHOWER FOR THE BABY.
111
00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:38,394
I'M TELLING YOU, IT IS INHUMAN.
112
00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:39,795
SOMEBODY SOUNDS NEGLECTED, EH?
113
00:03:39,819 --> 00:03:42,298
LEAVE WORK RIGHT NOW.
COME PLAY BASKETBALL WITH ME.
114
00:03:42,322 --> 00:03:43,799
I CAN'T COME PLAY BASKETBALL.
115
00:03:43,823 --> 00:03:46,135
A HALF AN HOUR. WE'LL RUN
AROUND, SWEAT, SHOVE EACH OTHER.
116
00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:47,136
YOU'LL ENJOY IT.
117
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:48,638
SOUNDS TEMPTING, BUT I CAN'T.
118
00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:50,139
MARVIN, WHAT DO YOU SAY?
119
00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:51,807
I WOULD LOVE TO. NO.
120
00:03:51,831 --> 00:03:53,543
LET ME FINISH.
121
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:57,347
I WOULD LOVE TO, BUT MY
BOSS IS CRUEL AND DEMANDING.
122
00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:58,681
HOW ABOUT A BEER?
123
00:03:58,705 --> 00:04:01,284
YOU CAN GET AWAY
FOR A BEER, CAN'T YOU?
124
00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:02,952
PAULIE, AT THIS MOMENT, NO, I...
125
00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:05,020
ONE BEER. WE'LL SIT,
DRINK, WATCH GIRLS.
126
00:04:05,044 --> 00:04:06,989
WE'LL SAY THINGS
THAT ARE UNKIND.
127
00:04:07,013 --> 00:04:08,324
I'M SORRY.
128
00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:10,926
MAYBE A LITTLE FISTFIGHT WITH
TOURISTS FROM OTHER LANDS.
129
00:04:10,950 --> 00:04:13,796
YOU DON'T GET IT. THIS
WEEKEND WOULD BE FINE...
130
00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:15,131
IRA, I NEED THIS.
131
00:04:15,155 --> 00:04:16,799
I NEED THIS. IT'S IMPORTANT.
132
00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:18,334
I'M BECOMING UNWELL.
133
00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:20,336
YOU NEED TO GET AWAY, MY FRIEND.
134
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:23,939
YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF
TOWN, JUST LIKE YOU USED TO DO.
135
00:04:23,963 --> 00:04:25,207
MY FOLKS HAVE A PLACE UPSTATE.
136
00:04:25,231 --> 00:04:26,876
I WAS THINKING OF
GOING THIS WEEKEND.
137
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:28,244
IF YOU WANT, YOU COULD... YES.
138
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:29,445
IT ISN'T MUCH. YES.
139
00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:31,514
IT'S JUST A CABIN, REALLY. YES.
140
00:04:31,538 --> 00:04:34,417
IT'S A BIT OF A DRIVE,
3 HOURS. THAT'S OK.
141
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,452
YES. MARVIN, I'M
SAYING TO YOU, YES.
142
00:04:36,476 --> 00:04:37,853
GREAT. YEAH.
143
00:04:37,877 --> 00:04:39,088
PAULIE, ARE YOU SERIOUS?
144
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,923
YEAH. COME WITH
US. IT'D BE GREAT.
145
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,025
3 GUYS IN A... WHO'S GOT A CAR?
146
00:04:43,049 --> 00:04:44,360
I GOT A VAN.
147
00:04:44,384 --> 00:04:47,029
GOOD. 3 GUYS IN A VAN
WITH NOTHING TO DO.
148
00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:49,365
WE'LL JUST DRIVE, GO
SOMEWHERE, AND BE GUYS.
149
00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:50,366
ARE YOU IN?
150
00:04:50,390 --> 00:04:52,201
WHAT, THIS WEEKEND? YES.
151
00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:53,803
YOU, ME, AND MARVIN? YES.
152
00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:55,738
OH, WHAT THE HELL. LET'S DO IT.
153
00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:56,840
ALL RIGHT.
154
00:04:56,864 --> 00:04:57,907
WAIT A MINUTE.
155
00:04:57,931 --> 00:05:00,076
YOU THINK JAMES IS
GONNA LET YOU GO AWAY?
156
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:01,278
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
157
00:05:01,302 --> 00:05:02,511
I'M JUST SAYING,
158
00:05:02,535 --> 00:05:04,547
SHE'S PREGNANT, SHE
CAN'T GET OUT OF TOWN.
159
00:05:04,571 --> 00:05:07,083
IS IT THE BEST TIME
TO GO AWAY? NO.
160
00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:09,085
WILL SHE LOVE THAT
I'M GOING AWAY?
161
00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:10,987
NO, BUT GIVE ME A BREAK HERE.
162
00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:12,655
YOU GOTTA TAKE CARE OF YOU.
163
00:05:12,679 --> 00:05:15,258
REALLY. EVERYBODY WORRIES
ABOUT THE BABY AND THE MOMMY.
164
00:05:15,282 --> 00:05:16,892
WHO'S WORRYING ABOUT YOU?
165
00:05:16,916 --> 00:05:19,595
THANK YOU. STRANGERS GO OVER
TO HER. THEY SEE SHE'S PREGNANT.
166
00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:21,097
THEY START RUBBING HER BELLY.
167
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:22,365
OH, LOOK, A LITTLE BABY.
168
00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:23,666
WHAT ABOUT ME?
169
00:05:23,690 --> 00:05:25,634
YOU KNOW, NOBODY'S
RUBBING ANYTHING OF MINE.
170
00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:27,136
I'M PART OF THIS, TOO.
171
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,471
OF COURSE YOU ARE.
172
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:30,673
SEE, NOBODY THINKS
ABOUT THE DADDY IN THIS.
173
00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:31,807
NOBODY.
174
00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:34,444
PAULIE, GO AND SELL THIS
TO YOUR WIFE, ALL RIGHT?
175
00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:35,911
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
176
00:05:35,935 --> 00:05:38,514
ALL I'M SAYING IS
GOOD LUCK TO YOU.
177
00:05:38,538 --> 00:05:41,184
IS IT THE BEST TIME
TO BE GOING AWAY? NO.
178
00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:44,187
DO I EXPECT YOU TO LOVE
THAT I'M GOING AWAY? NO.
179
00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:45,688
I KNOW IT'S NOT FAIR.
180
00:05:45,712 --> 00:05:47,190
YOU'RE PREGNANT, I'M NOT.
181
00:05:47,214 --> 00:05:49,525
IT'S EASIER FOR ME
TO PICK UP AND GO.
182
00:05:49,549 --> 00:05:50,559
FOR YOU, IT'S NOT.
183
00:05:50,583 --> 00:05:52,561
THINGS ARE NEVER GOING
TO BE EXACTLY EQUAL,
184
00:05:52,585 --> 00:05:55,498
AND JUST LIKE YOU HAVE YOUR
NEEDS, I HAVE MY NEEDS, TOO,
185
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:57,000
AND RIGHT NOW I'M SAYING
186
00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:58,701
I REALLY NEED TO GO AWAY
187
00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:00,870
AND BE WITH SOME
GUYS FOR A WHILE.
188
00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:03,206
THAT'S IT, AND IF YOU
CAN'T UNDERSTAND THAT,
189
00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:06,342
THEN MAYBE WE HAVE BIGGER
PROBLEMS THAN WE THINK.
190
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,366
GO.
191
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:14,083
♪ AAH ♪
192
00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:15,585
♪ AAH ♪
193
00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:17,253
♪ AAH ♪
194
00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:18,621
♪ AAH ♪
195
00:06:18,645 --> 00:06:20,289
♪ AAH! ♪
196
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:21,553
MARVIN, MARVIN. MARVIN, MARVIN.
197
00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:24,693
Radio: ♪ SHAKE IT
UP, BABY, NOW ♪
198
00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:26,295
♪ SHAKE IT UP, BABY ♪
199
00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:30,233
I TELL YOU, IF PEOPLE GOT TOGETHER
AND SANG THAT SONG EVERY DAY,
200
00:06:30,257 --> 00:06:33,569
THE WORLD WOULD BE A
BETTER PLACE TO LIVE IN.
201
00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:34,903
YES, SIR. NO QUESTION.
202
00:06:34,927 --> 00:06:35,927
YES, SIR.
203
00:06:37,096 --> 00:06:40,009
CAN I JUST SAY THIS
IS SO MUCH BETTER
204
00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:42,011
THAN BABY SHOWERS AND BOOTIES?
205
00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:45,481
HERE'S TO 2 DAYS OF NOT
HAVING TO BE SENSITIVE.
206
00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:47,550
WE ARE HERE FOR YOU, MY FRIEND.
207
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,218
OH, THIS IS GREAT.
208
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:51,354
IT'S TRULY
MAGNIFICENT, HUH, BOYS?
209
00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:53,790
MMM. AND CAN I SAY,
210
00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:56,058
ONLY WITH GUYS
WOULD YOU HAVE THIS.
211
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:57,059
THAT'S RIGHT.
212
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:58,060
AMEN.
213
00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,429
YES. NOTHING AGAINST WOMEN.
214
00:06:59,453 --> 00:07:01,097
HEY, NOW, GOES WITHOUT SAYING.
215
00:07:01,121 --> 00:07:03,098
IT'S JUST THAT WITH
GUYS... WHAT IS IT?
216
00:07:03,122 --> 00:07:05,601
THERE'S A THING, A SHARING,
A FREQUENCY WE ALL SHARE.
217
00:07:05,625 --> 00:07:08,604
'CAUSE ALL GUYS HAVE BEEN
THROUGH THE SAME THING.
218
00:07:08,628 --> 00:07:11,774
THAT'S SO TRUE,
MARVIN. THAT'S SO TRUE.
219
00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:15,878
FOR EXAMPLE, ALL GUYS HAVE
BEEN THROUGH YOUR MOTHER.
220
00:07:15,902 --> 00:07:17,280
OW! OW!
221
00:07:17,304 --> 00:07:19,548
TELL ME SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW.
222
00:07:19,572 --> 00:07:21,050
THAT'S TRUE. IT REALLY IS.
223
00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:23,520
I MEAN, GUYS, EVERYTHING
THAT YOU THINK IS YOU,
224
00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:25,254
EVERY TIME YOU
TALK TO ENOUGH GUYS,
225
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:26,756
IT'S HAPPENED TO THEM, TOO.
226
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:27,757
THAT'S TRUE.
227
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,092
SO TRUE. SO TRUE.
228
00:07:34,654 --> 00:07:37,299
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
YOU KNOW WHAT?
229
00:07:37,323 --> 00:07:41,003
I'M GONNA TELL YOU GUYS SOMETHING
THAT I HAVEN'T TOLD ANYBODY.
230
00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:42,138
SERIOUSLY?
231
00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,740
TOTALLY SERIOUSLY.
232
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:45,808
SHOULD I TURN DOWN THE MUSIC?
233
00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:48,077
WHATEVER. UH...
234
00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:52,882
LAST WEEK, FOR THE
VERY FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE,
235
00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:54,651
I... I AC...
236
00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:56,653
UH, ACTUALLY,
FORGET IT. FORGET IT.
237
00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:58,655
WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WHAT?
238
00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:00,990
WE'RE IN A MUTUAL-TRUST
SITUATION HERE.
239
00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:01,991
ABSOLUTELY. GO AHEAD.
240
00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:03,659
EH, COME ON. IT'S US.
241
00:08:03,683 --> 00:08:04,660
IT'S US.
242
00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:06,996
ALL RIGHT, ALL
RIGHT. WHAT THE HELL.
243
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:10,666
LAST WEEK, FOR THE VERY
FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, OK,
244
00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:12,001
I'M DATING THIS GIRL.
245
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:13,669
HER NAME IS LAURIE GROBMAN,
246
00:08:13,693 --> 00:08:16,905
AND I, UH... YOU COULDN'T...
247
00:08:16,929 --> 00:08:18,241
PAULIE, WHO TOLD YOU?
248
00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:20,243
WELL, I TOOK A WILD GUESS.
249
00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:21,599
COULDN'T WHAT?
250
00:08:22,869 --> 00:08:24,179
I COULDN'T, YOU KNOW...
251
00:08:24,203 --> 00:08:26,482
FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN MY LIFE, MARVIN,
252
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,773
I... I FAILED IN MY
OBLIGATIONS, YOU KNOW?
253
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:32,154
I AM TOTALLY LOST.
254
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:33,489
THE MAN WAS IMPOTENT!
255
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,925
NO. I THINK I MADE A WRONG TURN.
256
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:37,909
I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE I AM.
257
00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:40,963
Ira: HEY, COME ON.
258
00:08:40,987 --> 00:08:43,766
I THOUGHT AT LEAST THIS WOULD
ENGENDER SOME CONVERSATION.
259
00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:45,435
ALL RIGHT, I GOT SOMETHING.
260
00:08:45,459 --> 00:08:47,103
ALL RIGHT, MARVIN'S GONNA GO.
261
00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:50,106
WELL, IT BETTER BE GOOD,
MARVIN, 'CAUSE I SHARED.
262
00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:51,107
SAME BALLPARK.
263
00:08:51,131 --> 00:08:52,108
YEAH?
264
00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:53,409
ALL RIGHT, GO.
265
00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:55,978
YOU... YOU KNOW HOW
WHEN YOU'RE WITH A WOMAN,
266
00:08:56,002 --> 00:08:59,449
AND YOU'RE IN BED
AND EVERYTHING...
267
00:08:59,473 --> 00:09:01,451
AND YOU WANT IT TO LAST?
268
00:09:01,475 --> 00:09:02,619
SURE, SURE.
269
00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:04,254
AND YOU... YOU KNOW HOW
270
00:09:04,278 --> 00:09:07,357
THE LONGER YOU
GO AT IT, THE BETTER?
271
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:09,259
OF COURSE.
272
00:09:09,283 --> 00:09:13,933
SOMETIMES... IT
DOESN'T LAST THAT LONG.
273
00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:16,566
HEY, MARVIN, THAT HAPPENS.
274
00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:18,868
SOMETIMES NOT LONG AT ALL.
275
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:20,570
AH. WHATEVER.
276
00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:23,428
SOMETIMES 10... 12 SECONDS.
277
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,764
SOMETIMES LESS.
278
00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:32,115
HEY, WELL, LISTEN,
MARVIN, YOU KNOW, UH,
279
00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:34,117
WHAT GUYS HAVEN'T
BEEN THROUGH THAT?
280
00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:37,453
YOU KNOW, I MEAN, IT KIND
OF HAPPENS TO EVERYBODY.
281
00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:38,487
YEAH?
282
00:09:38,511 --> 00:09:39,488
SURE.
283
00:09:39,512 --> 00:09:40,556
O-OK.
284
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:41,758
SURE.
285
00:09:41,782 --> 00:09:44,260
YOU KNOW, I NEVER
REALLY SAID ANYTHING,
286
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:46,595
'CAUSE YOU NEVER
KNOW, YOU... YOU KNOW?
287
00:09:46,619 --> 00:09:48,564
AH, SURE, YEAH.
288
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:51,634
BOY... FEELS GOOD TO SAY THAT
289
00:09:51,658 --> 00:09:53,636
TO A COUPLE OF GUYS!
290
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:55,972
SO YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE A FREAK.
291
00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:57,607
HEY, HEY, MARVIN.
292
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:02,445
I CAN'T BELIEVE I
SAID THAT OUT LOUD.
293
00:10:02,469 --> 00:10:05,014
WOW, YOU GUYS ARE GREAT.
294
00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:06,048
IT'S...
295
00:10:06,072 --> 00:10:09,252
YOU KNOW, MARVIN, WHAT
THE PROBLEM MAY BE?
296
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:10,586
AND I'M JUST GUESSING,
297
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:13,044
BUT MAYBE YOU'RE A BIG SISSY?
298
00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:16,225
WHAT?
299
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:18,294
I WAS JUST... YOU
KNOW, AS A POSSIBILITY,
300
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:20,429
TO ME IT'S NOT OUT
OF THE QUESTION
301
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,098
THAT WHAT MAY BE THE ISSUE
302
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,100
IS THAT YOU'RE
JUST A BIG FAT SISSY.
303
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,635
IS THAT A JOKE?
304
00:10:25,659 --> 00:10:28,037
A WHAT? YES, OF
COURSE IT'S A JOKE.
305
00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:29,905
WELL, I... I DON'T
THINK IT'S FUNNY.
306
00:10:29,929 --> 00:10:32,574
MARVIN... THAT'S A
STUPID THING TO SAY.
307
00:10:32,598 --> 00:10:34,543
OF COURSE IT'S A
STUPID THING TO SAY.
308
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:36,378
THAT'S THE POINT OF
THE JOKE. OTHERWISE...
309
00:10:36,402 --> 00:10:37,947
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
310
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:38,971
HEY, MARVIN!
311
00:10:41,674 --> 00:10:43,407
THAT WAS NOT VERY SENSITIVE.
312
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:01,236
NEED A SHAMMY?
313
00:11:01,260 --> 00:11:03,572
NO. I DO NOT NEED A SHAMMY.
314
00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:04,573
NICE SHAMMY CLOTH.
315
00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:05,574
THANK YOU, NO.
316
00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:07,176
ALL RIGHT.
317
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,844
SO WHERE IS HE, PAULIE?
318
00:11:08,868 --> 00:11:10,179
HE WILL BE BACK.
319
00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:11,180
HE'LL BE BACK.
320
00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:12,848
IT'S BEEN ALMOST AN HOUR.
321
00:11:12,872 --> 00:11:16,385
I CAN'T BELIEVE I WANT TO HAVE
A LITTLE BREAK FROM SENSITIVITY,
322
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:19,155
AND NOW I GOTTA GO
SAY I'M SORRY TO MARVIN.
323
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,157
HEY, YOU GUYS BUYING OR LOOKING?
324
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:24,160
WELL, I'D LIKE TO BROWSE
JUST A LITTLE LONGER,
325
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:27,930
SEE, 'CAUSE YOU HAVE SUCH
A WIDE SELECTION OF JERKIES.
326
00:11:27,954 --> 00:11:29,264
DID YOU LEARN NOTHING?
327
00:11:29,288 --> 00:11:30,265
WHAT?
328
00:11:30,289 --> 00:11:31,934
YOU GET THIS GUY MAD,
329
00:11:31,958 --> 00:11:33,603
HE'S GONNA MAKE US WAIT OUTSIDE.
330
00:11:33,627 --> 00:11:35,104
WE'RE NOT DRESSED FOR WINTER.
331
00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:37,072
EXCUSE ME.
332
00:11:37,096 --> 00:11:38,407
YES, SIR.
333
00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:42,277
UH... I, UH, HERE
IS OUR SITUATION.
334
00:11:42,301 --> 00:11:43,946
WE... THIS IS FUNNY, ACTUALLY.
335
00:11:43,970 --> 00:11:48,350
OUR FRIEND DROVE OFF WITH
OUR WALLETS IN THE VAN, AND, UH,
336
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:49,686
GETTING A BIT THIRSTY.
337
00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:52,544
WATER HOSE OVER BY THE PUMP.
338
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,624
OK. GOOD.
339
00:11:55,648 --> 00:11:58,294
ALSO WE'RE GETTING,
UM, A LITTLE BIT HUNGRY,
340
00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:00,629
AND COULDN'T HELP
BUT NOTICE YOU GOT
341
00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:04,633
A MOUTH-WATERING ARRAY OF BOTH
CHIP AND NUT PRODUCTS, AND UH...
342
00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:07,136
WE WERE JUST KIND OF
WONDERING IF WE COULD
343
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,238
POSSIBLY GET MAYBE A
COUPLE CANS OF SODA
344
00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:11,740
AND, UH, SAY, A BAG
OF CHIPS ON CREDIT?
345
00:12:11,764 --> 00:12:14,410
AND THEN, YOU KNOW, JUST
TILL OUR FRIEND COMES BACK.
346
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:16,445
CREDIT? SORRY, BOYS.
347
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:19,982
"NO CREDIT, NO HOW, NO WAY."
348
00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:22,117
YES. I CAN SEE HOW... FOR...
349
00:12:22,141 --> 00:12:24,820
HOW YOU HAVE THAT
UP FOR EVERYBODY,
350
00:12:24,844 --> 00:12:27,956
BUT THIS IS A... A
LITTLE BIT OF A...
351
00:12:27,980 --> 00:12:29,925
SPECIAL CIRCUMSTANCES,
DON'T YOU THINK?
352
00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:31,160
SORRY.
353
00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:32,662
NO CREDIT.
354
00:12:32,686 --> 00:12:34,230
OK.
355
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,931
OK.
356
00:12:35,955 --> 00:12:37,799
YOU KNOW WHAT?
357
00:12:37,823 --> 00:12:39,590
PUT YOUR HANDS UP.
358
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,405
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU, ANYWAY?
359
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:44,740
"PUT YOUR HANDS UP"?
360
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:47,242
IT WAS A JOKE, AN OBVIOUS JOKE.
361
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:49,579
DOES THAT LOOK
LIKE A GUN? COME ON.
362
00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:50,580
THAT'S CLEARLY FINGERS.
363
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:52,414
PAULIE, IT WAS A BAD JOKE.
364
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:55,084
IT'S NOT LIKE I WAS INSIDE
A POCKET PRETENDING.
365
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:56,418
IT WAS OUT THERE.
366
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:58,420
IT WAS RAW FINGERS,
KNUCKLES, AND NAILS,
367
00:12:58,444 --> 00:12:59,789
NO METAL. A JOKE.
368
00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:02,792
NO, NO, NO. LOOK, A JOKE
IS WHEN PEOPLE LAUGH, OK?
369
00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:05,160
A BAD JOKE IS WHEN
PEOPLE BRANDISH FIREARMS
370
00:13:05,184 --> 00:13:07,496
AND KICK YOU OUT
INTO THE FREEZING COLD
371
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:09,999
WHILE YOUR WARM
CLOTHES ARE STUCK IN A VAN
372
00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:12,334
WHERE SOMEBODY ELSE
WHO YOU ALREADY PISSED OFF,
373
00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:14,136
DROVE AWAY AND LEFT YOU TO DIE.
374
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:17,006
THAT, MON FRERE,
IS A BAD, BAD JOKE.
375
00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:18,340
EVERYBODY IS SO SENSITIVE.
376
00:13:18,364 --> 00:13:20,342
I MAKE JOKES WITH
YOU ALL THE TIME.
377
00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:21,711
I MAKE FUN OF YOU.
378
00:13:21,735 --> 00:13:23,212
YEAH, AND I YOU. YEAH.
379
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:24,714
PAULIE, WE KNOW EACH OTHER.
380
00:13:24,738 --> 00:13:27,049
THE REST OF THE
WORLD ISN'T LIKE US.
381
00:13:27,073 --> 00:13:29,384
SO, IS THAT MY PROBLEM
OR THEIR PROBLEM?
382
00:13:31,611 --> 00:13:33,555
RIGHT NOW...
383
00:13:33,579 --> 00:13:35,680
I WOULD SAY THAT'S OUR PROBLEM.
384
00:13:37,583 --> 00:13:39,895
I DO NOT LIKE THIS ONE IOTA.
385
00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:41,853
COME ON. WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT.
386
00:13:47,426 --> 00:13:49,672
SO, GUESS WHERE I ATE LAST WEEK.
387
00:13:49,696 --> 00:13:50,673
HUH?
388
00:13:50,697 --> 00:13:52,074
THAT PLACE, IL MOLINO.
389
00:13:52,098 --> 00:13:53,743
HOW DID YOU GET IN?
390
00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:56,411
IT WAS TUESDAY. THERE
WAS, LIKE, NOBODY THERE.
391
00:13:56,435 --> 00:13:57,747
AH.
392
00:13:57,771 --> 00:13:59,281
WHAT'D YOU HAVE?
393
00:13:59,305 --> 00:14:00,382
JUST THE PASTA.
394
00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:02,284
I'M TELLING YOU, MY
FEET ARE FREEZING.
395
00:14:02,308 --> 00:14:03,786
I CAN'T FEEL MY TOES.
396
00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:05,121
WE GOTTA KEEP MOVING.
397
00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:06,789
WE JUST GOTTA KEEP MOVING, SEE?
398
00:14:06,813 --> 00:14:08,257
THAT'S HOW TO STAY WARM.
399
00:14:08,281 --> 00:14:09,925
CUT IT OUT. THIS IS GOOD.
400
00:14:09,949 --> 00:14:12,061
THIS KEEPS THE BLOOD
CIRCULATING. THIS IS ALL GOOD.
401
00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:13,829
YOU DON'T WANT ME TO HIT YOU.
402
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,831
YOU SHOULD TRY IT.
COME ON, ONE SHOT.
403
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:16,832
CUT IT OUT.
404
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,500
YOU COULDN'T EVEN GET IN HERE.
405
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:20,502
FLOAT LIKE A BUTTERFLY,
STING LIKE A BEE.
406
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:22,171
YOU COULDN'T EVEN TOUCH ME. OW!
407
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:23,405
WHAT ARE YOU, NUTS?
408
00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:25,074
YOU TOLD ME TO HIT YOU.
409
00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:27,076
NOT IN THE FACE, YOU
JACKASS. IT'S FREEZING.
410
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:28,410
I KNOW IT'S FREEZING.
411
00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:30,079
IT STINGS WHEN IT'S COLD.
412
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:31,747
PAULIE, YOU SAID ONE SHOT.
413
00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:33,611
I'LL GIVE YOU ONE SHOT.
414
00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:38,620
YOU RIPPED MY PANTS.
ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
415
00:14:38,644 --> 00:14:39,955
BRAND NEW PANTS, PAULIE.
416
00:14:39,979 --> 00:14:41,957
LOOK AT THIS. JUST LOOK AT THIS.
417
00:14:41,981 --> 00:14:44,026
HEY. BETTER YET, LOOK AT THIS.
418
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:46,350
IT LOOKS LIKE OUR
FRIEND MARVIN IS HERE.
419
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:54,745
3 BALL, CORNER POCKET.
420
00:14:55,294 --> 00:14:56,534
MARVIN.
421
00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:00,542
YOU SCRATCHED.
422
00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:02,912
THANKS, PAUL NO,
THANK YOU, MARVIN.
423
00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:05,414
ALL RIGHT, BOYS, WHY
DON'T WE GO SIT DOWN.
424
00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:07,416
WE'LL TALK THIS
THING OUT, ALL RIGHT?
425
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,085
I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU.
426
00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:11,087
YO, MARVIN, PAULIE'S
NOT THE ONLY GUY
427
00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:12,421
YOU DITCHED BACK THERE.
428
00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:15,424
I LOST 3 TOES AND A
BRAND-NEW PAIR OF PANTS.
429
00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:17,660
I GAVE YOU A SIGN
THAT I WAS LEAVING.
430
00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:19,294
YOU DID?
431
00:15:19,318 --> 00:15:21,263
YEAH. I WAS DOING THIS.
432
00:15:21,287 --> 00:15:23,332
OH, UH, I DIDN'T CATCH THAT.
433
00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:25,467
I DID. SORRY YOU GOT
CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE.
434
00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:27,103
HEY, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
435
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:30,239
AND YOU, YOU GOT A PECULIAR
IDEA OF WHAT CONSTITUTES A JOKE.
436
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:31,774
YOU KNOW WHAT?
437
00:15:31,798 --> 00:15:33,609
YOU CALLED MARVIN A SISSY?
438
00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:35,444
HI. HOW ARE YOU TONIGHT?
439
00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:38,313
THAT KIND OF NAME-CALLING
STUFF IS SO OLD, MAN.
440
00:15:38,337 --> 00:15:40,515
AND WHO ARE THESE
FINE YOUNG LADIES?
441
00:15:40,539 --> 00:15:41,583
I DON'T KNOW.
442
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:43,953
THAT'S HER, AND
THAT'S HER FRIEND.
443
00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:46,021
I'M DARLA... AND DAWN.
444
00:15:46,045 --> 00:15:47,256
HOW YOU DOING?
445
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,590
YOU BELIEVE THIS GUY?
446
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:49,825
CREEP.
447
00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:52,889
HEY, CAN I BUY YOU
LADIES A DOMESTIC BEER?
448
00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:56,766
LOOK, I'M SORRY IF YOUR
FEELINGS WERE HURT.
449
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:57,767
ARE YOU?
450
00:15:57,791 --> 00:15:59,168
NOT THAT MUCH.
451
00:15:59,192 --> 00:16:01,503
THE POINT IS, IT WAS A JOKE.
452
00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:03,505
IT WAS... WAS IT AN
INSENSITIVE JOKE?
453
00:16:03,529 --> 00:16:05,507
YES, BUT THAT WAS THE POINT,
454
00:16:05,531 --> 00:16:07,176
BECAUSE WE WERE ALL SHARING.
455
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,511
WE WERE ALL BEING
OPEN AND VULNERABLE,
456
00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:12,148
SO I THINK, "WHAT IS THE
WORST THING TO SAY?"
457
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:14,483
AND THEN GO AHEAD AND SAY THAT.
458
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:15,818
WHAT?
459
00:16:15,842 --> 00:16:18,553
OK, LOOK, HERE'S
RUDE, AND HERE'S ME,
460
00:16:18,577 --> 00:16:20,890
SO I'M ONE LEVEL
PAST BEING RUDE,
461
00:16:20,914 --> 00:16:23,926
BECAUSE HOW COULD I BE
RUDE IF I KNOW IT'S RUDE?
462
00:16:23,950 --> 00:16:25,594
SO I'M SMART. I KNOW IT'S RUDE,
463
00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:28,097
AND I THINK YOU'RE UP
THERE WITH ME, TOGETHER,
464
00:16:28,121 --> 00:16:29,765
MAKING FUN OF THE RUDENESS.
465
00:16:29,789 --> 00:16:32,001
TH-THAT'S A JOKE
THAT WE WERE SHARING.
466
00:16:32,025 --> 00:16:34,003
SEE I THOUGHT THAT YOU AND I,
467
00:16:34,027 --> 00:16:36,405
WE COULD MAKE FUN
OF THE SAME THING,
468
00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:37,973
AND THAT IT WOULD BE FUNNY.
469
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:40,164
I'M GOING TO THE CAN.
470
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:45,647
JUST CAN'T REASON WITH THAT GUY.
471
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:47,917
WHY WOULD YOU
CALL MARVIN A SISSY?
472
00:16:47,941 --> 00:16:49,885
IT WAS A JOKE, MA'AM.
473
00:16:49,909 --> 00:16:52,154
I DON'T GET IT. ME, NEITHER.
474
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:55,424
IF I MAY, I DON'T GET IT MYSELF.
475
00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:56,492
HOW IS THAT FUNNY?
476
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:57,759
SHOULD I EXPLAIN IT?
477
00:16:57,783 --> 00:16:59,063
YES. YES.
478
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,298
IT'S... OK, TO ME,
479
00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:06,068
IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S
SO WRONG, YOU KNOW?
480
00:17:06,092 --> 00:17:08,904
IT'S SO FAR INTO WRONG
481
00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:10,840
THAT IT BECOMES FUNNY
482
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,174
BECAUSE IT'S SO INAPPROPRIATE.
483
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:13,843
YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN?
484
00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:15,510
IT'S THE WORST THING TO DO.
485
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:17,179
IT'S LIKE LAUGHING AT A FUNERAL.
486
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:18,547
YOU LAUGH AT FUNERALS?
487
00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:19,548
THAT'S SICK.
488
00:17:19,572 --> 00:17:21,049
AGAIN, I CAN HONESTLY SAY
489
00:17:21,073 --> 00:17:22,884
I HAVE NEVER
LAUGHED AT A FUNERAL,
490
00:17:22,908 --> 00:17:23,885
BUT THAT'S ME.
491
00:17:23,909 --> 00:17:26,087
OK, YOU WANT TO HEAR
SOMETHING FUNNY?
492
00:17:26,111 --> 00:17:27,256
THIS IS FUNNY.
493
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:28,923
TELL THEM THE ONE ABOUT...
494
00:17:28,947 --> 00:17:29,958
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
495
00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:33,629
OK. WHAT DO YOU CALL
A DOG WITH 3 LEGS?
496
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:36,298
NOTHING, 'CAUSE NO
MATTER WHAT YOU CALL HIM,
497
00:17:36,322 --> 00:17:37,721
HE AIN'T GONNA COME.
498
00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:42,737
YOU HEARD IT BEFORE?
499
00:17:42,761 --> 00:17:44,406
I HEARD IT BEFORE, YES.
500
00:17:44,430 --> 00:17:46,475
ACTUALLY, IN FACT,
I THINK THE JOKE IS
501
00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:48,977
"WHAT DO YOU CALL
A DOG WITH NO LEGS?"
502
00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:49,978
WHAT?
503
00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:52,248
THE WAY I HEARD IT,
THE ACTUAL JOKE IS
504
00:17:52,272 --> 00:17:54,750
"WHAT DO YOU CALL A
DOG WITH NO LEGS?" SEE?
505
00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:56,085
YOU SAID "3 LEGS."
506
00:17:56,109 --> 00:17:58,087
"NO LEGS" IS THE
ONLY DIFFERENCE.
507
00:17:58,111 --> 00:17:59,321
SEE, BECAUSE 3 LEGS...
508
00:17:59,345 --> 00:18:01,323
YOU CALL A DOG WITH 3 LEGS,
509
00:18:01,347 --> 00:18:03,325
HE COULD STILL... HE
COULD HOBBLE OVER.
510
00:18:03,349 --> 00:18:05,761
SO HE'S HOBBLING, AND HE
WOULD GET THERE EVENTUALLY.
511
00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:08,764
IT WOULD TAKE HIM A WHILE,
BUT HE'D GET THERE SOMEHOW
512
00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:10,432
'CAUSE HE CAN DO IT.
513
00:18:10,456 --> 00:18:13,102
A DOG WITH NO LEGS,
HE'S NOT COMING...
514
00:18:13,126 --> 00:18:15,104
EVER.
515
00:18:15,128 --> 00:18:16,760
A DOG WITH NO LEGS?
516
00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:19,942
THAT IS SO SAD.
517
00:18:19,966 --> 00:18:22,344
I MEAN, HOW'S HE
GONNA EAT OR PLAY?
518
00:18:22,368 --> 00:18:24,847
I'M NOT CONDONING
IT. THAT'S THE ACTUAL...
519
00:18:24,871 --> 00:18:25,848
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
520
00:18:25,872 --> 00:18:28,150
YOUR FRIEND HAS A REAL PROBLEM.
521
00:18:28,174 --> 00:18:29,751
I'M JUST SAYING
THE ACTUAL JOKE...
522
00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:31,620
JUST GIVE IT A REST, MISTER.
523
00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:33,289
YOU BROUGHT UP THE JOKE.
524
00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:34,353
WALK AWAY.
525
00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:40,362
I'M GONNA... I'M GONNA
GO PLAY POOL WITH GUYS.
526
00:18:40,386 --> 00:18:41,864
YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH HIM?
527
00:18:41,888 --> 00:18:44,233
HIM? NO. NO WAY.
528
00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:45,767
HE'S REALLY INSENSITIVE.
529
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:48,103
BUT, YEAH, BUT
THAT'S WHY IT'S FUNNY.
530
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,205
DON'T YOU SEE?
531
00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:51,273
TO CALL A MAN A SISSY...
532
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:53,342
DOESN'T SEEM VERY FUNNY TO ME.
533
00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:54,844
NO, IT'S NOT. IT'S, SEE...
534
00:18:54,868 --> 00:18:57,112
BUT SEE, WE WERE
ALL BEING OUT THERE
535
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:58,447
AND OPEN AND VULNERABLE.
536
00:18:58,471 --> 00:18:59,781
WE WERE ALL SHARING.
537
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:01,450
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.
538
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,452
THERE'S NOTHING
SISSY-LIKE ABOUT SHARING.
539
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:05,387
MAYBE I'M NOT EXPLAINING
THE JOKE PROPERLY.
540
00:19:05,411 --> 00:19:07,722
I'VE BEEN IN AA
FOR 12 YEARS NOW.
541
00:19:07,746 --> 00:19:10,625
I THINK I CAN SAFELY
SAY IT SAVED MY LIFE.
542
00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:11,627
ME, TOO.
543
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:12,961
YOU KNOW HOW? NO.
544
00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,829
BY BEING OPEN,
VULNERABLE, SENSITIVE.
545
00:19:14,853 --> 00:19:18,167
HEY, LISTEN, I'M THE MOST
SENSITIVE GUY IN THE WORLD.
546
00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:19,168
ALL I'M SAYING...
547
00:19:19,192 --> 00:19:20,835
EASIEST THING IN THE WORLD
548
00:19:20,859 --> 00:19:23,372
IS TO MAKE FUN OF SOMEBODY
WHO'S HAVING A PROBLEM.
549
00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:24,373
LISTEN,
550
00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:26,007
WITH THE HELP OF
THESE GOOD FRIENDS,
551
00:19:26,031 --> 00:19:28,010
I HAVEN'T HAD A DRINK
IN OVER 12 YEARS.
552
00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:29,544
NO KIDDING? IS THAT TRUE?
553
00:19:29,568 --> 00:19:31,747
APRIL 23 WILL BE 13 YEARS.
554
00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:34,316
WOW. HEY, THIS IS SOME
ACCOMPLISHMENT. NO KIDDING.
555
00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:35,551
WELL, GOOD FOR YOU.
556
00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:38,153
LET ME BUY YOU A DRINK,
AND WE'LL CELEBRATE.
557
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:39,988
ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?!
558
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:41,824
SEE, THAT'S THE
SAME JOKE. I KNOW...
559
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:43,224
THAT'S NOT A JOKE, MISTER.
560
00:19:43,248 --> 00:19:44,326
YOU DON'T HAVE TO LAUGH,
561
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:46,261
BUT I KNOW THAT'S
A BAD THING TO SAY,
562
00:19:46,285 --> 00:19:47,930
SO I SAY IT TO BE FUNNY.
563
00:19:47,954 --> 00:19:50,199
SON, I'M GONNA HAVE
TO ASK YOU TO LEAVE.
564
00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:51,867
YOU'RE DISTURBING MY CUSTOMERS.
565
00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:52,868
ME?
566
00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:54,203
I'M AFRAID SO.
567
00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:56,405
ARE YOU THROWING ME
OUT BECAUSE OF A JOKE?
568
00:19:56,429 --> 00:19:58,407
AM I GOING OUT OF MY MIND HERE?
569
00:19:58,431 --> 00:20:01,410
THIS IS NOT A BABY
SHOWER, IT'S A BAR.
570
00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:02,877
THERE'S LIQUOR,
AND PEOPLE CURSE.
571
00:20:02,901 --> 00:20:04,446
YOU BETTER NOT
START CURSING NOW.
572
00:20:04,470 --> 00:20:05,781
I'M NOT GONNA CURSE...
573
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:08,583
YOU KNOW WHAT? WE GOT
OFF ON THE WRONG FOOT.
574
00:20:08,607 --> 00:20:11,586
YOU DON'T KNOW ME. I
HAPPEN TO BE A NICE GUY,
575
00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:13,922
BUT EVEN THE NICEST
GUY ONCE IN WHILE,
576
00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:16,257
ON OCCASION, HAS JUST
GOT TO BE INSENSITIVE.
577
00:20:16,281 --> 00:20:18,427
WHY? WHY WHAT?
578
00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:21,318
WHY DO YOU HAVE
TO BE INSENSITIVE?
579
00:20:23,288 --> 00:20:24,599
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
580
00:20:24,623 --> 00:20:26,901
WHAT... I MEAN, AM I
YOUR BIGGEST PROBLEM?
581
00:20:26,925 --> 00:20:28,236
RIGHT NOW.
582
00:20:28,260 --> 00:20:30,238
YOU WANT TO TALK
ABOUT OFFENSIVE?
583
00:20:30,262 --> 00:20:31,973
HAVE YOU SEEN THE GRAFFITI?
584
00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:34,976
LOOK AT YOUR BAR. YOU GOT
GENITALIA CARVED IN YOUR WOOD.
585
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:35,977
THAT'S DISGUSTING.
586
00:20:36,001 --> 00:20:37,312
I DIDN'T DO IT.
587
00:20:37,336 --> 00:20:39,381
I'M SORRY ABOUT MY FRIEND HERE.
588
00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:41,049
HE'S A LITTLE WOUND UP.
589
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:43,618
HIS WIFE IS ABOUT
TO HAVE A BABY.
590
00:20:43,642 --> 00:20:45,754
All: AWW.
591
00:20:45,778 --> 00:20:47,256
YOU'RE HAVING A BABY?
592
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:48,590
WELL, SOON, YEAH.
593
00:20:48,614 --> 00:20:50,259
THAT IS JUST SUCH A MIRACLE.
594
00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:51,593
IT'S NOT A MIRACLE.
595
00:20:51,617 --> 00:20:53,595
I HAVE 2 OF MY OWN.
596
00:20:53,619 --> 00:20:55,931
ASHLEY IS 7, AND JORDAN IS 3.
597
00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:58,267
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US THAT
YOU WERE GONNA HAVE A BABY?
598
00:20:58,291 --> 00:20:59,468
I DON'T KNOW YOU.
599
00:20:59,492 --> 00:21:01,236
BOY OR GIRL? ONE OF THE TWO.
600
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:02,637
I HOPE IT'S A GIRL.
601
00:21:02,661 --> 00:21:05,140
THIS IS MY SISTER'S LITTLE
GIRL. SHE'S JUST 7 MONTHS.
602
00:21:05,164 --> 00:21:06,275
HER NAME'S MADISON.
603
00:21:06,299 --> 00:21:07,943
LOOK AT THOSE LITTLE CHEEKS.
604
00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:10,279
DON'T YOU JUST
WANT TO BITE THEM?
605
00:21:10,303 --> 00:21:11,280
NUM NUM NUM.
606
00:21:11,304 --> 00:21:12,584
THIS IS SO CUTE.
607
00:21:15,241 --> 00:21:17,453
Radio: ♪ AAH ♪
608
00:21:17,477 --> 00:21:21,523
♪ AAH ♪
609
00:21:21,547 --> 00:21:22,880
♪ SHAKE IT UP, BABY, NOW ♪
610
00:21:26,452 --> 00:21:28,530
LOOK AT THIS.
611
00:21:28,554 --> 00:21:29,531
THIS IS ADORABLE.
612
00:21:29,555 --> 00:21:30,532
YOU LIKE IT?
613
00:21:30,556 --> 00:21:31,867
OH, IT'S SO CUTE.
614
00:21:31,891 --> 00:21:33,368
I'M GLAD YOU LIKED IT.
615
00:21:33,392 --> 00:21:34,703
I THOUGHT YOU WOULD.
616
00:21:34,727 --> 00:21:36,438
IT HAS THE LITTLE FUZZY BOOTIES.
617
00:21:36,462 --> 00:21:38,607
IN THE BACK, IT HAS THE
LITTLE BUNNY COTTONTAIL.
618
00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:40,609
THE BABY FALLS ON
HIS LITTLE BABY BOTTOM,
619
00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:42,110
IT'S ALL CUSHIONED
NICE SOFTY, SOFTY.
620
00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:43,845
YOU PICKED THIS OUT?
621
00:21:43,869 --> 00:21:45,669
I DID.
622
00:21:48,474 --> 00:21:49,451
SISSY.
623
00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:50,875
THANK YOU.
624
00:22:00,519 --> 00:22:02,965
SO, THIS GUY, HE'S GOT A DOG,
625
00:22:02,989 --> 00:22:06,268
AND, UM, OH, HE LOVES
THIS DOG SO MUCH,
626
00:22:06,292 --> 00:22:09,271
AND THE DOG'S
ONLY GOT, UM... 3...
627
00:22:09,295 --> 00:22:10,438
2 LEGS. 2.
628
00:22:10,462 --> 00:22:13,008
I'LL GET IT RIGHT WHEN
WE GET DOWN THERE.
629
00:22:13,032 --> 00:22:15,077
THAT'S A WAYS TO GO, AND, UM...
630
00:22:15,101 --> 00:22:17,579
OH, HE'S GONNA THROW,
EH, THE BALL TO THE...
631
00:22:17,603 --> 00:22:19,447
HE'S GOT A BEAUTIFUL
BACKYARD, AND HE...
632
00:22:19,471 --> 00:22:21,116
YOU HAVEN'T HEARD
THIS ONE BEFORE?
633
00:22:21,140 --> 00:22:22,251
NO. NOT AT ALL.
634
00:22:22,275 --> 00:22:24,253
SO HE THROWS IT, UH, TO...
635
00:22:24,277 --> 00:22:26,088
NO, HE'S GONNA THROW IT.
636
00:22:26,112 --> 00:22:27,211
WHAT'S THE DOG'S NAME?
637
00:22:28,647 --> 00:22:31,126
OH, OH, HERE IT IS. HERE IT IS.
638
00:22:31,150 --> 00:22:33,628
WHAT DO YOU CALL
A DOG WITH 3 LEGS?
639
00:22:33,652 --> 00:22:35,630
NO, IT'S NO LEGS, AND
THE ANSWER'S NOTHING
640
00:22:35,654 --> 00:22:37,988
'CAUSE NO MATTER WHAT
YOU CALL HIM, HE AIN'T COMING.
641
00:22:43,162 --> 00:22:45,162
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?
43751
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