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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,474 --> 00:00:09,152 HAVE YOU SEEN MY MATERNITY BOXER SHORTS? 2 00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:10,409 NO. 3 00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:34,644 ♪ TELL ME WHY ♪ 4 00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:36,480 ♪ I LOVE YOU LIKE I DO ♪ 5 00:00:36,504 --> 00:00:37,981 ♪ TELL ME WHO ♪ 6 00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:40,484 ♪ CAN STOP MY HEART AS MUCH AS YOU ♪ 7 00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:42,486 ♪ LET'S TAKE EACH OTHER'S HAND ♪ 8 00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:43,820 ♪ AND JUMP INTO ♪ 9 00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:46,578 ♪ THE FINAL FRONTIER ♪ 10 00:00:55,422 --> 00:00:59,035 OK. OK. I HAVE THE NAME. ARE YOU READY? 11 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,369 WHAT IS IT? 12 00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:02,205 I WANT YOU TO BE SITTING DOWN FOR THIS. 13 00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:04,707 ALL RIGHT. I'M SITTING. 14 00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,609 CLOSE YOUR EYES. 15 00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:08,044 OPEN YOUR MIND. 16 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:11,281 PICTURE, IF YOU WILL, MIRABELLA. 17 00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:14,684 OK. HOW ABOUT IF IT'S A BOY... NEWSWEEK? 18 00:01:14,708 --> 00:01:16,920 ALL RIGHT. NO, GO AHEAD, MOCK ME. 19 00:01:16,944 --> 00:01:18,421 WHAT IS IT WITH YOU? 20 00:01:18,445 --> 00:01:20,223 THE LAST 10 WEEKS, YOU'RE FEEDING ME GIRLS' NAMES. 21 00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:22,258 PLEASE. I GOT A COUPLE OF BOYS' NAMES. 22 00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:23,514 OTTO. 23 00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,129 OTTO. 24 00:01:26,153 --> 00:01:27,564 OTTO. THAT'S A NICE NAME 25 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,533 IF YOU'RE BALD AND HAVE A MONOCLE. 26 00:01:29,557 --> 00:01:30,534 FINE. 27 00:01:30,558 --> 00:01:31,535 HELLO, BUCHMANS. 28 00:01:31,559 --> 00:01:33,537 HI. WE'RE HERE TO SEE JOAN. 29 00:01:33,561 --> 00:01:36,239 WELL, WHY DON'T THE THREE OF YOU FILL THAT OUT? 30 00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:37,540 WE'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU. 31 00:01:37,564 --> 00:01:39,242 IT'S EASY TO SHOOT DOWN NAMES. 32 00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:40,376 LET'S HEAR SOME OF YOURS. 33 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:41,777 I GOT MANY O' NAME. 34 00:01:41,801 --> 00:01:47,283 JOSEPH... ANDY... MICHAEL... JANET... 35 00:01:47,307 --> 00:01:52,255 JERMAINE... TITO... HONEY... LA TOYA. 36 00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:54,523 NOT SO EASY, IS IT? 37 00:01:54,547 --> 00:01:57,193 WHAT'S WRONG WITH OTTO? IT'S A VERY DISTINCTIVE NAME. 38 00:01:57,217 --> 00:01:58,962 YOU SEE VERY FEW KIDS NAMED OTTO. 39 00:01:58,986 --> 00:01:59,963 WITH GOOD REASON. 40 00:01:59,987 --> 00:02:01,698 DISTINCTIVE IS IMPORTANT FOR THE PARENTS, 41 00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:04,034 BUT FOR THE KID, ALL IT MEANS IS 42 00:02:04,058 --> 00:02:07,470 HE'S GONNA END UP HANGING BY HIS UNDERWEAR FROM A SCHOOL LOCKER. 43 00:02:07,494 --> 00:02:08,471 HE IS NOT. 44 00:02:08,495 --> 00:02:10,706 YOU GOTTA THINK ABOUT THE PLAYGROUND. 45 00:02:10,730 --> 00:02:12,042 THINK ABOUT THE PLAYGROUND. 46 00:02:12,066 --> 00:02:14,210 WHAT YOU WANT IS A NAME THAT SAYS, 47 00:02:14,234 --> 00:02:15,545 "DON'T NOTICE ME. 48 00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:19,182 AND IF YOU DO, PLEASE GOD, DON'T BEAT ME UP." 49 00:02:19,206 --> 00:02:20,750 WHERE DID YOU GROW UP? 50 00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:22,541 ON THE STREETS, BABY. 51 00:02:24,244 --> 00:02:25,388 OOH. 52 00:02:25,412 --> 00:02:28,724 DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THE SEX OF THE BABY? 53 00:02:28,748 --> 00:02:31,027 YOU KNOW WHERE I STAND ON THAT. 54 00:02:31,051 --> 00:02:32,895 I THINK ONLY GOOD COMES FROM KNOWING. 55 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:34,297 WHAT ABOUT THE SURPRISE? 56 00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,999 THIS IS THE BIGGEST SURPRISE YOU CAN EVER HAVE IN YOUR LIFE. 57 00:02:37,023 --> 00:02:38,234 WHAT IS THE SURPRISE, REALLY? 58 00:02:38,258 --> 00:02:39,569 IT'S ONE OF TWO THINGS. 59 00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:41,571 IT'S A BOY OR A GIRL. 60 00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:44,574 IF IT'S A THIRD THING, LIKE, SAY, AN OWL... 61 00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:47,109 THEN I SAY LET'S FIND OUT NOW. 62 00:02:47,133 --> 00:02:49,712 LISTEN, I HATE TO DO THIS TO YOU, BUT I'M THE MOTHER. 63 00:02:49,736 --> 00:02:51,447 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 64 00:02:51,471 --> 00:02:54,517 IT MEANS I'M CARRYING THIS CHILD, AND I SAY WE'RE NOT FINDING OUT. 65 00:02:54,541 --> 00:02:55,952 WHAT? ARE YOU PULLING RANK ON ME? 66 00:02:55,976 --> 00:02:57,687 WELL, POSSESSION'S 9/10ths OF THE LAW. 67 00:02:57,711 --> 00:02:59,744 LET'S FACE IT, YOU GOT NOTHIN'. 68 00:03:01,281 --> 00:03:04,294 Joan: LOOKING GOOD. AHH. 69 00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:06,062 THIS IS RIDICULOUS. WE HAVE A DEAL. 70 00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:08,064 WHAT DEAL? I HAD NO LEVERAGE. 71 00:03:08,088 --> 00:03:09,888 YOU WERE HOLDING THE BABY HOSTAGE. 72 00:03:11,491 --> 00:03:13,303 OH, I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. I'M GONNA LOOK. 73 00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:14,537 NO, KEEP THOSE HANDS UP. 74 00:03:14,561 --> 00:03:16,606 OH, LOOK, HOW SWEET. 75 00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:19,776 SWEET... SWEET IN A BOYISH WAY OR A GIRLISH WAY? 76 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,412 THAT'S SO CUTE. 77 00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:24,147 YEAH, CUTE-HANDSOME OR CUTE-PRETTY? 78 00:03:24,171 --> 00:03:28,451 POSITION'S FINE. THE BABY LOOKS GREAT. OH, HOW ADORABLE. 79 00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:31,988 WELL, I GUESS WE'LL JUST HAVE TO TAKE HER WORD FOR THAT, WON'T WE? 80 00:03:32,012 --> 00:03:33,089 IF YOU WANNA LOOK, YOU CAN LOOK. 81 00:03:33,113 --> 00:03:34,190 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 82 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,425 NO, NO, WE AGREED. 83 00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:37,169 WE'RE NOT GONNA LOOK, WE'RE NOT GONNA... OH! 84 00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:40,897 A PENIS? 85 00:03:40,921 --> 00:03:42,065 A PENIS. 86 00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:43,233 POSITIVELY? A PENIS? 87 00:03:43,257 --> 00:03:45,401 ABSOLUTELY A PENIS. 88 00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:47,237 WELL, LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. 89 00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:48,304 WAS IT BIG? 90 00:03:48,328 --> 00:03:49,939 CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING? 91 00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:53,243 WHEN IT'S YOUR KID AND YOU'RE THE FATHER, YOU'RE A PARENT, 92 00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:55,178 YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT STUFF LIKE THAT. 93 00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:57,680 ALL YOU'RE CONCERNED ABOUT IS IS THE KID HEALTHY... 94 00:03:57,704 --> 00:03:58,848 IT'S HUGE. 95 00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:00,683 OH, PAULIE, THERE YOU GO. 96 00:04:00,707 --> 00:04:02,185 HE'S A BUCHMAN. 97 00:04:02,209 --> 00:04:04,142 OH, BELIEVE ME, THAT'S A BUCHMAN. 98 00:04:05,212 --> 00:04:07,690 WHAT AM I SAYING? WHO ARE WE KIDDING? 99 00:04:07,714 --> 00:04:09,692 SO, LISTEN, YOU'RE GONNA BE A FATHER. 100 00:04:09,716 --> 00:04:11,694 YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A SON, A BOY, HUH? 101 00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:14,964 MY FIRST CHILD... WILL BE A MASCULINE CHILD. 102 00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:16,366 HEY, HEY, HEY. 103 00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:19,202 WHAT ABOUT JAMES? HOW YOU GONNA KEEP HER FROM FINDING OUT? 104 00:04:19,226 --> 00:04:20,970 I'LL TELL HER. WHEN THE MOMENT'S RIGHT. 105 00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:21,971 WHEN'S THAT GONNA BE? 106 00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:24,307 RIGHT AFTER THE KID'S BORN. 107 00:04:24,331 --> 00:04:27,711 YOU'RE GONNA KEEP THE SEX OF YOUR OWN CHILD FROM YOUR WIFE? 108 00:04:27,735 --> 00:04:29,178 WHY WOULD I RUIN THIS FOR HER? 109 00:04:29,202 --> 00:04:31,047 THE SURPRISE IS VERY IMPORTANT TO HER. 110 00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:32,882 SHE'S BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ALL HER LIFE. 111 00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:34,217 PLUS SHE'LL KILL YOU. 112 00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:35,885 YEAH, I DON'T NEED THAT. 113 00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:37,620 OH, THAT'S TERRIBLE. 114 00:04:37,644 --> 00:04:39,356 PAUL, DID YOU KNOW YOUR UNCLE PHIL IS IN THE HOSPITAL? 115 00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:41,558 NO. UNCLE PHIL? WHAT HAPPENED? 116 00:04:41,582 --> 00:04:42,892 HE'S VERY SICK. 117 00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:44,894 I WOULD IMAGINE. HE'S IN THE HOSPITAL. 118 00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:46,963 PROBABLY VERY SICK, BUT WHAT'S THE MATTER? 119 00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:48,320 HE'S VERY SICK. 120 00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:53,069 A LITTLE MORE INFORMATION, PLEASE. 121 00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:55,571 WELL, THE DOCTORS SAID IT COULD BE... 122 00:04:55,595 --> 00:04:58,341 THAT'S WHAT THE DOCTORS SAID? THE DOCTORS SAID THAT? 123 00:04:58,365 --> 00:04:59,675 THE DOCTORS SAID HE HAD A THING... 124 00:04:59,699 --> 00:05:01,844 WHAT? HE'S VERY SICK. 125 00:05:01,868 --> 00:05:04,147 I'M JUST TRYING TO GET A LITTLE... 126 00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:05,181 Both: HE'S VERY SICK. 127 00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:06,205 ALL RIGHT. 128 00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:10,186 Paul: WHAT WAS THE NUMBER? 129 00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:11,187 627. 130 00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:12,711 RIGHT HERE. 131 00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:15,214 HUH. 132 00:05:17,384 --> 00:05:18,394 OH, GOD. 133 00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:20,029 NO, NO, NO. THEY PROBABLY JUST MOVED HIM. 134 00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:21,264 COME ON, WE'LL FIND OUT. 135 00:05:21,288 --> 00:05:23,722 OMEN OH DE BAY PEE. 136 00:05:28,228 --> 00:05:31,374 OMEN OH DE BAY... PEE. 137 00:05:31,398 --> 00:05:32,375 UNCLE PHIL? 138 00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:34,666 OPEN UP THE BED PLEASE! 139 00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:39,371 YOU POOR THING! 140 00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:44,521 YOU POOR THING. 141 00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:46,289 OH, MY GOD, WHAT HAPPENED? 142 00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:47,290 I MADE A MISTAKE. 143 00:05:47,314 --> 00:05:48,291 YOU MADE A MISTAKE? 144 00:05:48,315 --> 00:05:50,126 YEAH. I PRESSED THE WRONG BUTTON. 145 00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:51,227 ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OK? 146 00:05:51,251 --> 00:05:52,295 YEAH, I THINK I'M OK. 147 00:05:52,319 --> 00:05:54,163 YOU DIDN'T GET HURT? NO, I'M FINE... 148 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,164 WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENED? 149 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:57,166 WELL, I... WOULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR? 150 00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,658 COULD YOU GO OVER THERE? I CAN'T TAKE THE SWIVELING. 151 00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:02,172 YOU HIT THE WRONG BUTTON? 152 00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:03,406 I HIT THE WRONG BUTTON. 153 00:06:03,430 --> 00:06:05,408 I'M PRESSING BUTTONS ALL MY LIFE... 154 00:06:05,432 --> 00:06:07,677 INTERCOMS, D-DOORBELLS... 155 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:11,080 IT'S THE FIRST TIME I EVER GOT FOLDED IN HALF. 156 00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:13,415 WOW. BUT I LEARNED SOMETHING. 157 00:06:13,439 --> 00:06:14,417 WHAT'S THAT? 158 00:06:14,441 --> 00:06:16,419 DID YOU KNOW THAT YOUR KNEECAPS 159 00:06:16,443 --> 00:06:18,421 FIT RIGHT INTO YOUR EYESOCKETS? 160 00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:19,822 IT'S AMAZING. 161 00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:22,992 OOOOOHH! IT'S MY FAVORITE NIECE AND NEPHEW. 162 00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:24,727 JAMIE, PAUL... FIRM EMBRACE! 163 00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:27,197 FIRM EMBRACE! FIRM EMBRACE! 164 00:06:27,221 --> 00:06:29,299 GOOD. GOOD. 165 00:06:29,323 --> 00:06:31,467 OF COURSE YOU KNOW I'M DYING. 166 00:06:31,491 --> 00:06:33,336 YOU'RE NOT DYING. 167 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:35,037 OH, COME ON. I KNOW. I'M DYING. 168 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,406 THERE'S NO TWO WAYS ABOUT IT. 169 00:06:36,430 --> 00:06:38,975 WELL, COME ON. WHAT DID THE DOCTORS SAY? 170 00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:40,543 THE DOCTORS, WHAT DO THEY KNOW? 171 00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:43,112 I'M TELLING YOU... IT'S BLEAK. 172 00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:44,981 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WHY DO YOU SAY IT'S BLEAK? 173 00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:50,275 LAST NIGHT... LATE AT NIGHT... I SAW GOD. 174 00:06:51,945 --> 00:06:52,922 YES. 175 00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:55,124 HE WAS HOVERING OVER ME... 176 00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:56,828 MAYBE A LITTLE TO THE LEFT. 177 00:06:58,184 --> 00:07:00,296 AND... HE SPOKE TO ME. 178 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:01,431 WHAT DID HE SAY? 179 00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:03,622 HE SAID... "HELLOOO." 180 00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:06,869 THAT'S HOW GOD TALKS? HE JUST SAID, "HELLO"? 181 00:07:06,893 --> 00:07:10,139 THAT'S HOW HE TALKS. NO AIRS. HE'S A REGULAR GUY. 182 00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:11,507 AND HE CAN DO ANYTHING. 183 00:07:11,531 --> 00:07:14,677 HE COULD TAKE THIS WHOLE BUILDING, TURN IT UPSIDE-DOWN. 184 00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:15,845 HE COULD TAKE CINCINNATI... 185 00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:17,302 SHOVE IT IN CHICAGO. 186 00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:20,850 YOU WANT A CHOCOLATE MALTED? 187 00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:22,185 BOOM! YOU GOT IT. 188 00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:23,186 EGGS OVER LIGHT? 189 00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:24,187 A MINUTE! 190 00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:26,189 TOAST ALWAYS GOLDEN BROWN. 191 00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:27,213 ALWAYS. 192 00:07:28,548 --> 00:07:30,192 HE'S PERFECT! 193 00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:32,818 BUT HE DOESN'T RUB YOUR NOSE IN IT. 194 00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:36,132 SO YOU ACTUALLY TALKED BACK TO GOD? 195 00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:39,035 I DID IT, BUT I WAS RESPECTFUL. 196 00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:40,036 YOU KNOW, TALK TO GOD. 197 00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:41,704 SO I SAID, "O LORD..." 198 00:07:41,728 --> 00:07:42,738 HE LIKES "LORD." 199 00:07:42,762 --> 00:07:44,373 SURE. 200 00:07:44,397 --> 00:07:47,043 "O LORD, WHAT WOULD YOU OF ME? 201 00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:50,546 "WHO THOU KNOWETH AND FORGIVETH OF ME TO COMETH UNTO YOU 202 00:07:50,570 --> 00:07:52,715 FROM ME WHO THOU KNOWETH AND FOR..." 203 00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:53,983 YETH? 204 00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:55,652 UNCLE PHIL, YOU HAVE SOME FOOD HERE. 205 00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:56,820 YOU HAVEN'T EVEN TOUCHED IT. 206 00:07:56,844 --> 00:07:58,154 FOOD? YOU SAY FOOD? 207 00:07:58,178 --> 00:07:59,355 I SAY HAH! 208 00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:00,857 WHAT? MAYBE A LITTLE JELL-O. 209 00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:03,392 JELL-O! THAT'S THE WORST. YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DO? 210 00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:04,594 NO. 211 00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:06,428 THEY PUT PINEAPPLE IN THE JELL-O. 212 00:08:06,452 --> 00:08:07,830 IS THAT BAD? 213 00:08:07,854 --> 00:08:09,298 THERE'S AN UNWRITTEN LAW... 214 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:12,835 NEVER, NEVER PUT PINEAPPLE IN JELL-O. 215 00:08:12,859 --> 00:08:15,505 WHY YOU PUT PINEAPPLE IN THE MAN'S JELL-O? 216 00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:16,839 BANANA. YES. 217 00:08:16,863 --> 00:08:18,007 APPLE? FINE. 218 00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:19,196 MANGO? BORDERLINE. 219 00:08:20,867 --> 00:08:22,845 BUT... IT CAN GO. IT CAN GO IN. 220 00:08:22,869 --> 00:08:27,772 BUT PINEAPPLE... ERODES THE JELL-O. 221 00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:32,522 IT LOSES ITS GELATINOUS CONSISTENCY. 222 00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:33,857 WHAT IS JELL-O? 223 00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:36,815 JELL-O IS NOTHING IF IT ISN'T A SHIMMY. 224 00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:40,363 THE PINEAPPLE DESTROYS THE SHIMMY. 225 00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:42,198 THERE'S NO SHIMMY LEFT IN THIS JELL-O. 226 00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:43,799 I THINK WE GET THE DRIFT ON THAT. 227 00:08:43,823 --> 00:08:46,703 YOU CAN PUT PINEAPPLE IN COTTAGE CHEESE. FINE. 228 00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:49,160 THE COTTAGE CHEESE CAN TAKE IT. IT'S STRONG. 229 00:08:50,396 --> 00:08:52,709 THE JELL-O FOLDS UP. 230 00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:54,276 SO THERE'S NO WAY. 231 00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:55,277 GET MY DRIFT? 232 00:08:55,301 --> 00:08:57,146 I DO. WE DO. OK. 233 00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:58,648 ALL RIGHT, THEN DRIFT OVER HERE. 234 00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:01,651 THERE'S A BEDPAN IN THE LAST... OH-HO. 235 00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:03,152 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL JUST WAIT OUTSIDE. 236 00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:05,154 NO, IT'S NOT THAT. IT'S NOT THAT KIND OF THING. 237 00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:08,658 HERE. HERE. LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT I HAVE IN MIND. 238 00:09:08,682 --> 00:09:09,659 HEY. 239 00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:11,294 ALL RIGHT! 240 00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:13,618 HERE. SAVED IT A TRIP. 241 00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,168 MR. BUCHMAN, IT'S TIME. 242 00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:20,570 OH, NO, DON'T TAKE ME. 243 00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:23,505 Jamie: IT'S GONNA BE OK. DON'T LET THEM TAKE ME. 244 00:09:23,529 --> 00:09:27,009 PAULIE, SAVE YOUR UNCLE NOW. PLEASE DON'T TAKE ME. 245 00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:28,778 OOOOOHHH! 246 00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,479 WHAT'S THE MATTER? WHAT IS IT? 247 00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:31,681 OOOOOHH! 248 00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:33,015 I'M IN A TUNNEL. 249 00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:35,017 I'M IN A TUNNEL! 250 00:09:35,041 --> 00:09:38,287 I SEE A LIGHT. I SEE A LIGHT AT THE OTHER END. 251 00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:39,476 IS IT HEAVEN? 252 00:09:41,881 --> 00:09:43,192 NO. 253 00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:44,293 IT'S NEW JERSEY. 254 00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:46,629 IT'S NEW JERSEY. YES. 255 00:09:46,653 --> 00:09:48,798 I MUST BE IN THE HOLLAND TUNNEL. 256 00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:50,133 MR. BUCHMAN, IT'S TIME. 257 00:09:50,157 --> 00:09:51,968 DON'T WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING. YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE. 258 00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:53,502 YOU HAVE TO DO ME A BIG FAVOR. 259 00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:54,804 ANYTHING YOU WANT. SURE. ANYTHING. 260 00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:56,205 THIS IS A DEATHBED REQUEST. 261 00:09:56,229 --> 00:09:58,307 IF YOU SAY YES, IT'S A BINDING PROMISE. 262 00:09:58,331 --> 00:09:59,708 YES. ANYTHING. WHAT DO YOU WANT? 263 00:09:59,732 --> 00:10:03,112 IF YOU HAVE A BOY, I WANT YOU TO NAME HIM AFTER ME. 264 00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:05,615 UNCLE PHIL, IT'S... OH-HO... 265 00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:08,451 WHOA! THE PAIN! WHOA! 266 00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:09,652 WHAT'S THE MATTER? WHAT'S THE MATTER? 267 00:10:09,676 --> 00:10:11,721 WHAT'S THE MATTER? OH! THE PAIN! 268 00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:13,056 OH, IT'S ON THE MARCH. 269 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:14,724 IT'S ON THE GO. 270 00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:16,358 IT'S HEADING FOR MY HEART. 271 00:10:16,382 --> 00:10:17,360 I CAN FEEL IT. 272 00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:18,628 HERE'S THE THING ABOUT THE NAME. 273 00:10:18,652 --> 00:10:20,062 IT'S HARD FOR US TO... 274 00:10:20,086 --> 00:10:21,730 OH, GOD, OK! ALL RIGHT. OK! 275 00:10:21,754 --> 00:10:23,065 PHIL... PHIL IT IS. 276 00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:24,700 WE'LL NAME THE BOY PHIL. 277 00:10:24,724 --> 00:10:25,868 WAIT, WAIT. ONE MORE THING. 278 00:10:25,892 --> 00:10:29,194 MY REAL NAME IS NOT PHIL. 279 00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:33,364 MY... MY REAL NAME IS DEUTERONOMY. 280 00:10:36,602 --> 00:10:38,536 I NEVER HEARD THAT. 281 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:48,191 DEUTERONOMY. 282 00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:49,391 I KNOW. 283 00:10:49,415 --> 00:10:51,227 THE MAN'S NAME IS DEUTERONOMY. 284 00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:52,862 THAT'S WHAT HE SAID. 285 00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:54,831 WE JUST PROMISED TO NAME OUR CHILD DEUTERONOMY. 286 00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:56,699 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 287 00:10:56,723 --> 00:10:58,534 I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU CAN BE SO CALM ABOUT THIS. 288 00:10:58,558 --> 00:11:00,403 BECAUSE WORRYING'S NOT GOING TO HELP ANYTHING, 289 00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:01,804 AND, BESIDES, WE GAVE OUR WORD. 290 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:04,674 WE GAVE OUR WORD TO A GUY NAMED PHIL. 291 00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:05,908 IT'S A MATTER OF HONOR. 292 00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:08,144 IF WE JUST BREAK OUR WORD, WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE ARE WE? 293 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:11,448 WE'RE THE KIND OF PEOPLE WHO ARE FREE TO NAME THEIR KID TOM. 294 00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:15,051 I HAVE A LITTLE SURPRISE FOR YOU. 295 00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:17,219 I THINK I KNOW SOMETHING YOU DON'T KNOW. 296 00:11:17,243 --> 00:11:18,321 WHAT'S THAT? 297 00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,278 WE'RE HAVING A GIRL. 298 00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:28,765 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 299 00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:31,934 I HAVE A VERY STRONG FEELING THAT THIS BABY'S A GIRL, 300 00:11:31,958 --> 00:11:34,003 AND IF THAT'S TRUE, WE GOT NO PROBLEM. 301 00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,238 YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT A FEELING. 302 00:11:35,262 --> 00:11:37,340 MORE THAN A FEELING, IT'S A MATERNAL INSTINCT. 303 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:41,844 OK, WELL, HONEY, I RESPECT THAT. I REALLY DO, 304 00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:43,446 BUT, YOU KNOW, INSTINCTS. 305 00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:45,047 THOUSANDS OF YEARS OF CIVILIZATION 306 00:11:45,071 --> 00:11:46,815 HAVE SORT OF DULLED OUR INSTINCTS. 307 00:11:46,839 --> 00:11:49,585 I MEAN, YOU CAN'T COUNT ON THOSE. 308 00:11:49,609 --> 00:11:52,277 LOOK AT ME, MY WHOLE HUNTING-GATHERING THING, THAT'S SHOT. 309 00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:55,591 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 310 00:11:57,016 --> 00:12:00,129 YOU HAVE NO CONCEPTION OF MOTHERHOOD. 311 00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:02,164 I'M PHYSICALLY CONNECTED TO THIS CHILD. 312 00:12:02,188 --> 00:12:04,734 THIS ISN'T SOME NEW-AGE CONCEPT. THIS IS REAL. 313 00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:08,137 ALL RIGHT, LISTEN, I'M PHYSICALLY CONNECTED TO MY PANCREAS, 314 00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:10,661 AND IT HASN'T SAID A WORD TO ME IN 14 YEARS. 315 00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:15,545 WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME SUCH A HARD TIME ABOUT THIS? 316 00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:17,013 TELL ME IT ISN'T TRUE. 317 00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:18,881 I TAKE IT YOU TALKED TO UNCLE PHIL. 318 00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:22,974 TELL ME YOU DIDN'T AGREE TO NAME YOUR CHILD APPENDECTOMY. 319 00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:25,721 DEUTERONOMY. 320 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:28,024 HAVE YOU BOTH LOST YOUR MIND? 321 00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:31,293 DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THIS KID IS GOING TO BE TEASED? 322 00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:32,294 DOOTY. 323 00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:33,295 I KNOW. 324 00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:34,296 DOO-DOO. 325 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:35,297 WE UNDERSTAND. 326 00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:36,799 DOOTY ON-A ME. 327 00:12:36,823 --> 00:12:37,800 YEAH, ALL RIGHT. 328 00:12:37,824 --> 00:12:38,935 KEEP THIS COMING 329 00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:39,936 'CAUSE THIS IS REALLY HELPING NOW. 330 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,537 PAULIE, COME ON, THINK ABOUT IT. 331 00:12:41,561 --> 00:12:43,706 IF I WENT TO SCHOOL WITH A KID NAMED DEUTERONOMY, 332 00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:47,250 MY DAY WOULD NOT BE COMPLETE UNTIL I MADE THE KID CRY. 333 00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,779 WHO DO YOU THINK HE'S GOING TO COME TO, YOU? 334 00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:51,213 NO. YOU'RE THE PERPS. 335 00:12:51,237 --> 00:12:53,549 HE'S GOING TO COME TO ME, HIS FAVORITE UNCLE, ALL RIGHT? 336 00:12:53,573 --> 00:12:55,485 YOU GOT TO GIVE THIS KID A NORMAL NAME. 337 00:12:55,509 --> 00:12:57,286 KIDS CAN MAKE FUN OF ANY NAME. 338 00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:58,821 YEAH, WHAT ABOUT BOB? 339 00:12:58,845 --> 00:12:59,822 BLOB. 340 00:12:59,846 --> 00:13:01,457 ALL RIGHT, JOE. SCHMO. 341 00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:02,457 SHELLY. 342 00:13:02,481 --> 00:13:03,993 SMELLY. 343 00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:04,993 IRA. 344 00:13:05,017 --> 00:13:06,617 IRA. 345 00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:12,068 NOW, YOU SEE, WITH A NICE NAME LIKE BURT, 346 00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:13,436 YOU WOULDN'T GET ANY TEASING. 347 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:17,628 WELL, ACTUALLY, A FEW NASTY KIDS USED TO CALL ME FAT ASS. 348 00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:24,580 PLUS, IF DEUTERONOMY WAS SUCH A WONDERFUL NAME, 349 00:13:24,604 --> 00:13:26,048 WHY DOES HE CALL HIMSELF PHIL? 350 00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:28,017 HE NEVER EVEN LIKED IT HIMSELF. 351 00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:30,252 SYLVIA, IT'S NOT AS BAD AS IT SOUNDS. 352 00:13:30,276 --> 00:13:32,521 I WAS JUST TELLING PAUL I HAVE A VERY STRONG MATERNAL INSTINCT 353 00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:33,656 THAT THE BABY IS A GIRL. 354 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:34,657 REALLY? 355 00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:35,658 I DO. 356 00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:37,493 OH, WHAT A RELIEF. 357 00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:38,794 I KNOW THAT FEELING. 358 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:39,796 YOU SEE? 359 00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:42,532 I KNEW THAT PAULIE WAS GOING TO BE A BOY 360 00:13:42,556 --> 00:13:44,500 AND THAT DEBBIE AND SHARON WERE GOING TO BE GIRLS. 361 00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:45,668 YOU JUST GET THAT FEELING. 362 00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:47,570 OH, YEAH, THAT FEELING. 363 00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:49,238 BURT, YOU'VE GOT NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. 364 00:13:49,262 --> 00:13:51,273 WELL, THAT'S A RELIEF. 365 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:57,360 I THINK PAULIE HAS SOMETHING HERE HE WANTS TO SAY. 366 00:13:58,971 --> 00:14:00,015 NO, I DON'T. 367 00:14:00,039 --> 00:14:02,551 NO, YOU DO. YOU WANT TO SAY THE THING 368 00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:04,186 ABOUT, YOU KNOW, THE THING. 369 00:14:04,210 --> 00:14:05,187 NO, I DON'T. 370 00:14:05,211 --> 00:14:06,255 WHAT THING ABOUT WHAT THING? 371 00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:07,256 NOTHING. 372 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:08,524 SOMETHING. 373 00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:09,748 SO SAY IT ALREADY. 374 00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:16,565 I WAS SAYING TO HIM EARLIER 375 00:14:16,589 --> 00:14:19,468 I HAVE MY OWN PATERNAL INSTINCTS, YOU KNOW, 376 00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:22,871 AND I GOT A FEELING THE KID'S GONNA BE A BOY. 377 00:14:22,895 --> 00:14:26,075 HONEY, THAT'S VERY SWEET, BUT THIS IS KIND OF A WOMAN THING. 378 00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:27,409 NO, I UNDERSTAND. 379 00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:30,179 IT'S JUST I REALLY, REALLY GOT A VERY STRONG FEELING. 380 00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:33,583 I FEEL IT IN MY BONES. 381 00:14:33,607 --> 00:14:35,718 I CAN TELL YOU WITH ALMOST ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY 382 00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:37,786 THIS KID IS GOING TO BE A BOY. 383 00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:41,390 HONEY, WE HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. TRUST ME. 384 00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:44,248 I PEEKED AT THE ULTRASOUND, SAW A LITTLE PENIS. 385 00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,268 WAIT ONE SECOND. 386 00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:54,403 DON'T CHICKEN OUT ON ME. 387 00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:57,707 I'M NOT. IT'S JUST, THE MAN, HE'S ON HIS DEATHBED, 388 00:14:57,731 --> 00:14:58,774 AND WE MADE HIM A PROMISE. 389 00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:01,077 I'M NOT KEEPING THAT PROMISE. 390 00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:02,711 IT'S JUST NOT GONNA BE EASY. 391 00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:04,714 HE'S IN THERE, HE'S HANGING BY A THREAD. 392 00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:07,218 PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THE WORST. 393 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,284 ♪ EVERYBODY'S DOIN' IT ♪ 394 00:15:09,308 --> 00:15:10,820 ♪ DOIN' IT, DOIN' IT ♪ 395 00:15:10,844 --> 00:15:11,821 ♪ EVERYBODY'S DOIN' IT ♪ 396 00:15:11,845 --> 00:15:14,289 ♪ DOIN' IT, DOIN' IT ♪ 397 00:15:14,313 --> 00:15:17,125 ♪ SEE THAT RAGTIME COUPLE OVER THERE ♪ 398 00:15:17,149 --> 00:15:20,262 ♪ WATCH THEM THROW THEIR SHOULDERS IN THE AIR ♪ 399 00:15:20,286 --> 00:15:22,197 ♪ SNAP YOUR FINGERS ♪ 400 00:15:22,221 --> 00:15:23,365 ♪ HONEY, I DECLARE ♪ 401 00:15:23,389 --> 00:15:24,367 ♪ IT'S THERE ♪ 402 00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:25,368 ♪ IT'S THERE ♪ 403 00:15:25,392 --> 00:15:26,668 ♪ IT'S THERE ♪ BOYS! 404 00:15:26,692 --> 00:15:28,370 ♪ EVERYBODY'S DOIN' IT ♪ 405 00:15:28,394 --> 00:15:29,971 ♪ DOIN' IT, DOIN' IT ♪ 406 00:15:29,995 --> 00:15:31,373 ♪ EVERYBODY'S DOIN' IT ♪ 407 00:15:31,397 --> 00:15:32,374 DOIN' WHAT? 408 00:15:32,398 --> 00:15:33,609 ♪ THE TURKEY TROT ♪ 409 00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:36,178 ♪ CAN'T STOP BOOP BOP BOOM BA DA BAM ♪ 410 00:15:36,202 --> 00:15:38,980 ♪ HEAR THOSE TROMBONES BURSTING APART ♪ 411 00:15:39,004 --> 00:15:42,351 ♪ COME, COME, COME, COME, LET US START ♪ 412 00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:43,852 ♪ EVERYBODY'S DOIN' IT ♪ 413 00:15:43,876 --> 00:15:45,321 ♪ EVERYBODY'S DOIN' IT ♪ 414 00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:50,993 ♪ EVERYBODY'S DOIN' IT NOW ♪ 415 00:15:51,017 --> 00:15:54,764 OK, ALL RIGHT, BOYS, TAKE FIVE. 416 00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:56,331 SMOKE 'EM IF YOU GOT 'EM. 417 00:15:56,355 --> 00:15:57,600 LEON. 418 00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:02,304 DOWN. DOWN, UH, DOWN. YOU'RE GOING DOWN. 419 00:16:02,328 --> 00:16:03,338 YOU GOT TO... UP. 420 00:16:03,362 --> 00:16:04,473 ♪ EVERYONE'S DOIN' IT ♪ 421 00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:05,508 ONE MORE DOIN' IT. 422 00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:06,508 OK. 423 00:16:06,532 --> 00:16:07,676 DOIN' IT! 424 00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:09,100 YOU GOT IT. 425 00:16:10,503 --> 00:16:12,715 UNCLE PHIL, WHAT IS ALL THIS? 426 00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:15,051 THE TURKEY TROT. 427 00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:16,385 WHAT ABOUT THE SURGERY? 428 00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:18,788 SURGERY? NO SURGERY. WHAT SURGERY? 429 00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:22,758 THEY PRODDED, THEY POKED, THEY MANIPULATED DIGITALLY. 430 00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:23,759 WHOOF! 431 00:16:23,783 --> 00:16:25,027 WHAT'D THEY FIND? 432 00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:26,662 ZIP. ZERO. 433 00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,797 NOTHING! 434 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,165 NOTHING! 435 00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:31,166 WHAT ABOUT THE PAIN? 436 00:16:31,190 --> 00:16:32,501 GAS. 437 00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:36,860 A HUMONGOUS ROGUE BUBBLE... 438 00:16:38,264 --> 00:16:39,674 OF TRAPPED GAS, 439 00:16:39,698 --> 00:16:43,634 AND IT LEFT AS SILENTLY AS IT CAME. 440 00:16:44,703 --> 00:16:45,863 IN THE NIGHT. 441 00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:48,884 HERE'S YOUR BAG, MR. BUCHMAN. 442 00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:51,787 OH, SKIPPY, HERE. THANKS FOR EVERYTHING. 443 00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:54,111 BUY YOURSELF A SWATCH. 444 00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:59,195 WELL, PHIL, WE'RE SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT YOU'RE FEELING BETTER 445 00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:02,097 BECAUSE WE ACTUALLY WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING. 446 00:17:02,121 --> 00:17:03,999 THIS ISN'T MINE. OH, WHAT THE HELL? 447 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,523 YEAH. WE, UM... 448 00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:11,473 WE WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING. 449 00:17:11,497 --> 00:17:12,775 YOU KNOW, ABOUT THE NAME. 450 00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:14,276 THE NAME, THE NAME. 451 00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:15,778 YEAH, DEUTERONOMY. 452 00:17:15,802 --> 00:17:17,747 THE NAME. YES, DEUTERONOMY. 453 00:17:17,771 --> 00:17:19,682 WE'RE A LITTLE CONCERNED. IT'S, UM... 454 00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:22,284 A LITTLE, UH... HERE'S THE THING. 455 00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:23,485 IT'S NOT... IT'S NOT VERY COMMON. 456 00:17:23,509 --> 00:17:24,486 YEAH. 457 00:17:24,510 --> 00:17:25,588 COMMON. 458 00:17:25,612 --> 00:17:26,956 IF YOU WANT COMMON, 459 00:17:26,980 --> 00:17:29,324 YOU NAME A KID JOE, YOU NAME A KID JOHN. 460 00:17:29,348 --> 00:17:32,828 THE KID GOES TO A PICNIC, 461 00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:34,930 "JOHN, YOUR SANDWICH IS READY." 462 00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:37,833 40 KIDS RUN UP TO GET THAT SANDWICH. 463 00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:40,357 YOU NAME THE KID... EXCUSE ME. 464 00:17:41,428 --> 00:17:43,472 YOU NAME THE KID DEUTERONOMY, 465 00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:45,608 "DEUTERONOMY, YOUR SANDWICH IS READY." 466 00:17:45,632 --> 00:17:49,111 YOUR KID'S GETTING THAT SANDWICH. 467 00:17:49,135 --> 00:17:50,746 YOU MAKE A VERY STRONG POINT. 468 00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:52,147 OF COURSE. 469 00:17:52,171 --> 00:17:53,416 IT'S JUST... IT'S JUST THAT WE'RE CONCERNED... 470 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,600 THIS ISN'T MINE EITHER. 471 00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:57,653 WHAT THE HELL? 472 00:17:57,677 --> 00:17:59,154 THIS IS MINE. 473 00:17:59,178 --> 00:18:00,723 YEAH. 474 00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,991 WE'RE JUST AFRAID THAT THE KID WILL GET TEASED. 475 00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:04,660 I MEAN, DIDN'T YOU USED TO GET TEASED A LOT? 476 00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:06,795 YEAH, WE ALL GET TEASED. 477 00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:08,097 YOU GET TEASED A LITTLE BIT. SO WHAT? 478 00:18:08,121 --> 00:18:09,098 IT'S NO BIG DEAL. 479 00:18:09,122 --> 00:18:10,532 I USED TO COME HOME FROM SCHOOL. 480 00:18:10,556 --> 00:18:12,334 AS I WAS WALKING HOME, 481 00:18:12,358 --> 00:18:13,836 I'D HEAR, "DOOTY, DOOTY." 482 00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:15,237 SEE? 483 00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:20,076 "THERE'S NO DOOTY ON YOU. IS THERE ANY DOOTY ON-A ME?" 484 00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:22,912 YOU KNOW? I GOT IT. I GOT IT. 485 00:18:22,936 --> 00:18:25,014 THEN THEY'D SHOVE A LITTLE, THEY'D PUSH. 486 00:18:25,038 --> 00:18:26,015 I'D PUSH, THEY'D SHOVE. 487 00:18:26,039 --> 00:18:27,450 WE'D SHOVE, WE'D HIT. 488 00:18:27,474 --> 00:18:29,952 THERE'D BE A LOT OF HITTING, AND THEY'D SMASH ME, 489 00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:31,487 AND THEN THEY'D TAKE OFF MY HAT, 490 00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:32,588 AND THEY'D ALL SPIT IN IT, 491 00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,022 WHICH WASN'T FUN. 492 00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:36,391 FINALLY, ONE DAY I SAID, 493 00:18:36,415 --> 00:18:39,061 "THIS IS IT! I'VE HAD MY FILL!" 494 00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:40,852 AND IT HIT ME. 495 00:18:42,388 --> 00:18:44,800 PHIL. THAT'S A GOOD NAME. 496 00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:45,868 SO I TOOK PHIL, 497 00:18:45,892 --> 00:18:49,504 AND I DISCARDED DEUTERONOMY. 498 00:18:49,528 --> 00:18:50,539 EXACTLY. 499 00:18:50,563 --> 00:18:53,742 YEAH. SO GIVEN ALL THAT, 500 00:18:53,766 --> 00:18:55,945 I GUESS YOU'D AGREE... 501 00:18:55,969 --> 00:18:57,279 WE DON'T WANT TO NAME HIM DEUTERONOMY. 502 00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:59,515 YOU CAN'T NAME THIS KID DEUTERONOMY. 503 00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:00,683 WHAT ARE YOU, NUTS? 504 00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:03,853 I WAS ON PAIN KILLERS. I WAS DELIRIOUS. 505 00:19:03,877 --> 00:19:04,854 WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE? 506 00:19:04,878 --> 00:19:09,058 WELL, WE WANTED... SHAME ON YOU. 507 00:19:09,082 --> 00:19:11,360 BUT I LOVE YOU BOTH SO MUCH 508 00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:13,896 FOR GOING ALONG WITH THAT NAME FOR SO LONG. 509 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,331 IT'S SETTLED, THEN. WE WON'T NAME HIM DEUTERONOMY. 510 00:19:16,355 --> 00:19:18,200 NO DEUTERONOMY. FIRM EMBRACE. 511 00:19:18,224 --> 00:19:19,201 FIRM EMBRACE. 512 00:19:19,225 --> 00:19:20,202 FIRM EMBRACE. 513 00:19:20,226 --> 00:19:21,636 FIRM EMBRACE. 514 00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:24,039 THANK YOU SO MUCH. YOU, LISTEN, 515 00:19:24,063 --> 00:19:25,875 GOOD TO SEE YOU UP. YOU FEEL WELL. 516 00:19:25,899 --> 00:19:27,943 I LOVE YOU BOTH VERY MUCH. 517 00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:29,144 WE LOVE YOU, TOO. 518 00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:30,579 IF IT'S A BOY, NAME HIM ANYTHING YOU WANT. 519 00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:31,614 THANK YOU, UNCLE PHIL. 520 00:19:31,638 --> 00:19:33,582 BUT IF IT'S A GIRL, 521 00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:35,484 I'D LOVE YOU TO NAME IT AFTER MY MOTHER. 522 00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:38,053 UM... HER NAME WAS ROSE. 523 00:19:38,077 --> 00:19:39,889 ROSE. ROSE. 524 00:19:39,913 --> 00:19:40,990 THAT'S ACTUALLY KIND OF SWEET. 525 00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:42,391 ROSE IS A VERY PRETTY NAME. 526 00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:44,626 WE'LL DEFINITELY THINK ABOUT IT. 527 00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:46,228 WE'LL THINK ABOUT ROSE. 528 00:19:46,252 --> 00:19:48,292 ACTUALLY, ROSE WASN'T HER REAL NAME. 529 00:19:52,224 --> 00:19:54,837 SO WHEN THE BABY REACHES 5 OR 6 POUNDS, 530 00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:56,071 YOU CAN... WHAT? 531 00:19:56,095 --> 00:19:57,406 WHAT ARE YOU SMILING AT? 532 00:19:57,430 --> 00:19:59,007 THE WAY YOU SAY "THE BABY." 533 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,108 "THE BABY," 534 00:20:00,132 --> 00:20:02,677 SO AS TO NOT GIVE AWAY ANY GENDER INFORMATION. 535 00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:03,679 VERY DEFT. 536 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,213 WELL, I DO THIS A LOT. 537 00:20:05,237 --> 00:20:06,948 WELL, YOU CAN STOP DOING IT WITH US. 538 00:20:06,972 --> 00:20:07,949 I CAN? 539 00:20:07,973 --> 00:20:09,251 WE KNOW IT'S A BOY. 540 00:20:09,275 --> 00:20:10,252 YOU DO? 541 00:20:10,276 --> 00:20:11,520 PAUL SAW A PENIS. 542 00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:12,654 I'M SORRY? 543 00:20:12,678 --> 00:20:14,556 THE OTHER DAY WHEN YOU WERE DOING THE THING. 544 00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:15,790 THE ULTRASOUND. 545 00:20:15,814 --> 00:20:17,025 I KNOW WE SAID WE WEREN'T GOING TO LOOK, 546 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:18,527 AND I... I DIDN'T MEAN TO, 547 00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,161 BUT I JUST DID A LITTLE SPACE BETWEEN MY FINGERS, 548 00:20:20,185 --> 00:20:21,730 AND I LOOKED, AND THERE IT WAS. 549 00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:22,964 YOU SAW A PENIS. 550 00:20:22,988 --> 00:20:24,165 YES, MA'AM. 551 00:20:24,189 --> 00:20:26,149 BIG EXPERT PENIS SPOTTER, ARE YOU? 552 00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:29,538 WELL, I DO ALL RIGHT. 553 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:30,539 SHOW ME. 554 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:31,607 SERIOUSLY? 555 00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:33,142 IF YOU PLEASE. 556 00:20:33,166 --> 00:20:35,644 LOOK. THERE'S OUR BABY. 557 00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:36,645 HEALTHY BABY? 558 00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:38,113 VERY HEALTHY. 559 00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:39,915 HE WON'T ALWAYS BE TRANSPARENT, RIGHT? 560 00:20:39,939 --> 00:20:41,617 NO. 561 00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:42,739 RIGHT THERE. 562 00:20:44,177 --> 00:20:45,154 THERE? 563 00:20:45,178 --> 00:20:48,090 I'M SORRY. RIGHT THERE. LOOK. 564 00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:49,191 YOU SURE? 565 00:20:49,215 --> 00:20:51,593 YEAH. LOOK. 566 00:20:51,617 --> 00:20:54,063 RIGHT THERE. 1... 2, 3, 4, 5. 567 00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:55,819 5 PENISES. 568 00:20:56,889 --> 00:20:58,222 BOY, LOOK OUT FOR THIS KID. 569 00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:02,637 IT'S A FOOT, ISN'T IT? 570 00:21:02,661 --> 00:21:03,639 HAND. 571 00:21:03,663 --> 00:21:05,840 YOU DIDN'T SEE A PENIS. 572 00:21:05,864 --> 00:21:06,841 HAND. 573 00:21:06,865 --> 00:21:09,766 IS IT POSSIBLE HIS HAND IS ON HIS PENIS? 574 00:21:11,737 --> 00:21:14,683 HAND, HAND, AND NOTHING BUT A HAND. 575 00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:16,452 YOU CAN'T SEE IT IN THIS PICTURE, 576 00:21:16,476 --> 00:21:17,652 BUT I'M TELLING YOU 577 00:21:17,676 --> 00:21:19,596 THE OTHER DAY THAT KID WAS HAPPY TO SEE SOMEBODY. 578 00:21:22,248 --> 00:21:23,959 SO THIS MEANS IT'S A GIRL. 579 00:21:23,983 --> 00:21:24,960 NOPE. 580 00:21:24,984 --> 00:21:26,462 IT'S A BOY. 581 00:21:26,486 --> 00:21:27,463 NOPE. 582 00:21:27,487 --> 00:21:28,519 IS IT AN OWL? 583 00:21:29,589 --> 00:21:31,366 SERIOUSLY. TELL ME. I WON'T BE MAD. 584 00:21:31,390 --> 00:21:33,969 DO YOU WANT TO KNOW? DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW? 585 00:21:33,993 --> 00:21:35,704 ACTUALLY, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW. 586 00:21:35,728 --> 00:21:38,140 LAST TIME YOU DIDN'T WANT TO FIND OUT, AND I DID, 587 00:21:38,164 --> 00:21:39,141 AND YOU STEAMROLLED ME. 588 00:21:39,165 --> 00:21:40,275 I GET TO VOTE THIS TIME. 589 00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:41,610 I'M SAYING... I'M TAKING CHARGE. 590 00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:43,479 I'M SAYING, NO, WE'RE NOT GOING TO FIND OUT. 591 00:21:43,503 --> 00:21:45,247 OH, WELL, ALL RIGHT, THEN. 592 00:21:45,271 --> 00:21:46,482 OK. 593 00:21:46,506 --> 00:21:47,849 LET'S WEIGH YOU AND TAKE YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE. 594 00:21:47,873 --> 00:21:48,873 OK. 595 00:21:53,346 --> 00:21:55,146 THAT'S A PENIS. 596 00:22:03,922 --> 00:22:06,868 MY FAVORITE NAME FOR A GIRL HAS ALWAYS BEEN, ALWAYS, 597 00:22:06,892 --> 00:22:10,205 SINCE I'M 14, HAS BEEN TRIXIE. 598 00:22:10,229 --> 00:22:11,607 I LOVE THAT NAME. 599 00:22:11,631 --> 00:22:13,875 DIXIE'S GOOD, TOO, BUT TRIXIE'S BETTER. 600 00:22:13,899 --> 00:22:16,612 Jamie: UNCLE PHIL, IT'S HARD FOR US TO COMMIT NOW. 601 00:22:16,636 --> 00:22:18,046 LOUISE IS NOT A BAD NAME. 602 00:22:18,070 --> 00:22:19,248 THINK ABOUT LOUISE. 603 00:22:19,272 --> 00:22:22,784 ♪ EVERY LITTLE BREEZE SEEMS TO WHISPER LOUISE ♪ 604 00:22:22,808 --> 00:22:26,877 ♪ BIRDS IN THE TREES SEEM TO CZZK-PFLLT LOUISE ♪ 41069

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