Original subtitles

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

[dinosaur growling]

Ah...

[grunts]

[growling]

[dinosaur squawks]

[chuckles]

[dinosaur gasping]

[chuckles]

Oh...

I need a raise.

Go and bait the next hunting site.

[grunts]

- [laughs] - [hunters] Yeah!

[dinosaur grunting]

[Marko] Not now.

We're movin'. Now.

- But I'm not finished yet. - Right now!

Let's go! Come on, we gotta go now.

[growling]

[Marko] Up that hill, now!

Pick him up and put him down, I'm not gonna to ask twice.

[growling]

[squawking]

[woman on radio] Raptor One, prepare for site one LZ arrival.

[man] Copy that, Blazer One. Got 12 on board for the hunt. Over.

[woman] Roger that, Raptor 1. Dinner's hot and ready.

Lindon inbound to tag. Over.

[Corrigan] I can't breathe in this thing.

- How much further is it? - We're close.

[man on radio] Copy you, Blazer 1. Raptor 1 inbound.

- [man 1] Tasers limited to five max. - [overlapping chatter]

[man 2] Alright, looks good. Let's do it.

[man on PA] All guards report immediately.

- [man 3] Over there! - [Riggs] You over there, feet there.

[man on PA] All guards report immediately.

- [man] 4] Now assist the boys. - [Riggs] Bags off.

[breathing deeply]

This place is a dump!

[vehicle approaching]

[vehicle stopping]

[inhales]

Welcome to Jurassic Hunt.

Are we ready to have some fun?

Alright, fantastic.

Thank you guys so much

for adhering to my somewhat lengthy list

of safety precautions.

I know they can be a bit of a pain, but uh,

we can't be too careful these days, can we?

While inside the reserve, security and privacy are essential,

speaking of which, one final check for prohibited items.

I would say I trust you, but...

[rapid beeping]

[Corrigan] Hey, what are you doin'?

Hey, that's my personal property.

Why would you bring that here

and cheat the trust that you and I...?

Listen, guys, the hunting and non-disclosure agreements

you signed prior to entry, specifically state,

"No outside cellphones, communications or recording devices

are allowed inside the reserve. Period.

Failure to adhere to said agreements is forfeiture of your payment

and will result in your immediate expulsion."

Mr. Corrigan, I am truly sorry to disappoint you and your many, many Twitter followers

the way you have disappointed me, and us, with this.

Hey! Hey, no, let...

[grunting]

Oh! Oh, my nose!

You broke my nose! Oh, you're gonna pay for this!

I'm gonna sue you so hard, you'll be sorry for this.

[Lindon] We're all here to have a good time,

but it is best to follow my rules.

Alright, who's ready to hunt?

Pick your poison.

We've got anything you could possibly want

from Rambo First Blood to Last Blood.

You crazy kids, go ahead and have at it. You bought it all.

We had an explosives box around here somewhere.

I need a tranquilizer gun.

You sure about that?

Guy on the last trip wanted one of those and, uh, he used it to skin 'em alive.

That's some pretty gnarly stuff.

Is that your brand of entertainment?

Parker, right?

You have fun.

Alright. Now, if you guys could please give Mr. Marko

your undivided attention.

[Marko] Right now, we're standing

at the dead center of the reserve.

Tomorrow, we'll head south

and hunt various grounds until we reach camp site two.

We'll stay the night, hunt the following day

until we reach the exit and you leave.

We've flown in the most exciting specimens

from the big park for your hunting enjoyment.

You are allowed to shoot anything that was allowed 65 million years ago.

You only keep what you can carry.

Yeah, and one last thing.

[gun whirrs and shoots]

Uh, tracking chip.

I don't remember nothin' about no tracking chip.

[Lindon] Uh, or you can join Mr. Corrigan and your hunt ends now.

No refunds.

Listen, guys, it's just one final precaution,

just in case we have to dig you out of the forest or the belly of a T-Rex.

Okay.

There you go. Now, I'll know where to find you.

Ah, it's already up.

You see that? That's you guys. Neat, right?

Rest assured, everything is under my control.

Everything is a lot to control.

And that's why I'm the one controlling it.

I have seen you before. What is your name?

Valentine.

And you're Blackhawk;

pirate, warlord, head of a poaching empire.

Wanted by the FBI, CIA, Interpol. You're famous.

You mean infamous.

Alright, guys. It is time to eat.

You're gonna love this. Roasted raptor.

Alright, they're all yours, Mr. Marko.

Reserve rangers, move out!

[engine starts]

[growling]

[beeping]

If you cannot do it...

I will dig it out for you.

Go play with your little knife in your tent.

You want to watch me? I handle it real good, mami.

You lay a hand on me, and you're gonna regret it.

[grunting]

That's right.

I can spot a killer a mile away and you...

[grunting]

Maybe you are not one.

Everybody wants to be the alpha, huh?

Get over yourselves.

The only thing we're killin' out here is dinosaurs.

[crickets chirping]

[beeping]

I'm sorry. I won't tell anybody. I swear, I swear.

You hear that, Riggs? He swears.

It's all good. Stop the car.

The corporation trusted me with the reserve's privacy,

because it is the single most essential element in its success.

Tell me you understand that.

Well, yeah, but the thing is...

Good! Back to the hunt you go!

[Corrigan] Hey, wait, what are you doin'?

You get the VIP experience.

No, wait! Hey!

[Riggs] Happy huntin'.

[Corrigan grunts]

Hey! Come back!

Hey! Hey, you red bastards! Don't you leave me!

[grunting]

Oh, come on, Corrigan, think. [grunting]

[growling]

[fire cackling]

- [walkie talkie crackles] - [Rabbit on walkie] Marko, come here, please.

Rabbit, where are you?

Marko, come here, please.

Rabbit. Rabbit, where are you?

Let's run away. There are too many of them.

- [growling in the distance] - They're too fast. Marko!

If I have to come find your ass, I'm killin' it.

[dinosaur moaning in distance]

[squawking]

[scoffs] I thought you boys hunt that...

- [screaming] - [gunshot]

[screaming continues]

[growling]

Get ready.

[growling]

Rocket launcher.

[dinosaur squawking]

[growling]

[Valentine] Get up, Parker!

[both grunting]

[Valentine] Well... [sighs]

That's five down, gentlemen.

Six to go.

I don't plan on dying.

I also do not plan on dying.

Any sign of Marko?

I found this.

[dinosaur squawking]

Alright, it's your kill.

Finish it.

[breathing deeply]

[dinosaur squawking]

- It's time to choose. - Do it.

[breathing deeply]

It's waking up. Kill it already.

[speaks Spanish] I'll do it.

- Back off. - [gunshot]

- [squawking] - Damn it, Valentine!

- What? - [exhales]

Somebody had to put it out of its misery, right?

Now, it's done.

Alright, what's next?

[Torres speaking Spanish]

Hello, is anyone there? Can anyone hear me?

Over.

Well, fellas, looks like we're on our own.

Now, see, this is the opposite of good.

Sir.

[squawking]

Come on, breed already.

Listen, my clock is ticking.

If these two don't start spilling baby batter in next two hours,

put them in the blender for next week's guests.

Comprende? Fantastic.

[squawking]

Sir, should I extract the hunters?

Extraction. Not yet.

Get me everything you can on this Parker woman.

Sir.

[dinosaur squawking in distance]

I don't care for you very much.

[growling]

I always wanted one of these AKs, man.

- [Sergei] Hey. - [Tramp] Where'd you get that?

[Sergei] Mother Russia.

What do you think you are doing?

[breathing deeply] It's been hours.

Nobody's coming for us, and I'm not staying here.

And I paid to hunt.

You sure you know where you're going?

Marko said if we trek south, we'd reach the exit.

Oh, wait, wait. You can be reasonable, boys.

It is a big mistake, but we stay here, they know where to find us.

I-I just think maybe not...

I don't care what you or anyone else thinks.

Stay if you want.

You've seen what those dinosaurs can do.

Hey... they hunted us, so we'll hunt them on our way out.

Yes.

Better to stick together.

I didn't catch where you said you were from, again.

- I didn't say. - Take this.

- [sighs] - Hey, kid, you're gonna need

more than a tranquilizer gun and a knife

if you intend to survive in a Jurassic game hunt.

I have exactly what I need and I'm gettin' out of here fast.

[laughing]

Well, Valentino, let's go hunting, man.

Let's go.

[Tramp] You ain't used to this sort of thing, are you?

I have hunt duck.

Duck? What the hell are you doin' out here, man?

Honestly, I'm not too sure.

Yeah, well, I'll let you in on a little secret.

These guys? I've been on more hunts than any of them combined.

Trust me on this.

[soft growling]

If you wanna kill some dinosaurs, you stick with me.

[projectile shooting]

What is this?

- What the hell is that, man? - What is that?

[Tramp] It burns!

Do not touch it!

Help me. Get it off!

Get it off me!

- No, no. Help me, help me! - [squawking]

[gunfire]

- [grunts] - Hold still!

Help me.

[screaming]

Get down!

[slow-motion yelling]

[slow-motion laughing]

- [groans] - Are you alright?

[panting]

What the hell was that?

A grenade, of course.

You could have killed us all!

You whine like a mule, yet you are still alive.

- Don't you ever... - This is my hunt.

You are not in charge. You do not give me orders.

If you think you have the power here,

you came to the wrong place, woman.

- [laughs] - [Valentine] Still hurt?

No, no, screw it, man. I don't need it.

[grunts]

Yes, this is my forest now!

[Valentine] Let's move.

[Valentine] Well, welcome to campsite one.

[grunts]

Well, boys, we're eatin' better tonight.

The roasted raptor yesterday tasted 200 million years old.

The world could always use another vegan.

Sweet Jesus. Are you a vegetarian, too?

How does a vegetarian survive in a dog-eat-dog world?

It is now a dinosaur-eat-dinosaur world, huh?

Yeah, no, that does not have the same ring to it.

[Blackhawk] Ah, yes.

This is what I am talking about. This.

[Torres sighs]

Permiso, senorita.

[grunts]

Hey, Parker, are you going to do some actual hunting here?

I think I've seen enough carnage for one day.

[chuckles]

[speaking Spanish]

[chuckles]

[scoffs]

- [Tramp] Hey, Sergei. - [Sergei] Hm?

- Ask you a question, man? - Yeah.

When you're out there on the plains,

and you see one of them dinosaurs,

you ever feel like doin' somethin', you know, other than killin' them?

[sniffles]

Like a little more, you know?

You ever... when you see 'em you know, get...

Get those like urges to...

Like a crocodile hunter. Wrestle.

Yeah. Yeah, kind of like that, man.

- You know what I'm sayin'? - Nyet.

Yeah, no. No, me either, man. That's weird.

Let's go hunt 'em.

Yeah, let's go hunt 'em.

- [gunfire] - [laughter in distance]

Yeah, keep laughin'. Assholes.

[dinosaur squawking]

[sighs]

[gunfire]

[laughter in distance]

I want a brontosaurus. Massive!

Then I've killed the biggest thing on Earth.

Well, the second biggest thing on Earth.

Bullock, what trophy are you here for?

[Blackhawk] I will drink to that.

Those are US dog tags.

Yes.

[gunfire]

[Sergei and Tramp laughing in distance]

The communist has a taste of it now.

It's a thrill to kill. That's how it starts.

Only once you have killed something...

- [laughing] - ...can you find out what you are.

Only then can you fully appreciate life.

[chuckles] This guy's insane, man.

He's got the touch. [laughs]

[Blackhawk] Work as hard and maybe, just maybe,

you will be as good as I am.

Does being good include throwing grenades at your prey?

If it works, it works.

Do you know how I got my name, hmm?

Shall I tell them, hmm?

I took down a Blackhawk helicopter

filled with US soldiers with one grenade.

And that make you proud?

Those soldiers come to my home to stop my people

from hunting animals on our lands.

Endangered animals whose parts you sold

to fund a civil war that killed tens of thousands of innocent people!

You may think you know me, but you know nothing of my people!

Now, I did not start the fight with your soldiers, but I ended it.

They died a warrior's death.

That's the most a soldier can hope for.

[Torres] You cannot be serious.

Throwing grenades does not make you a badass.

It make you a coward.

Warrior, solider, poacher, bastard.

Names do not matter.

You know what matters most, hmm?

I am the one that is still alive!

I am the one that is still standing!

Who needs to prove themselves when you have this?

Ah, yes. That is power.

I have the power!

Blackhawk comes out on top. Blackhawk never...

- [squawking] - [grunts]

[Blackhawk] Take it off!

Everyone down!

[squawking]

[laughing]

Blackhawk down, motherfucker! [laughing]

[Tramp] You think we're stickin' around after that?

Hell with the group, man.

Too many people, too many targets.

That's why we're creepin' out of here. Right, Sergei?

It's nothing personal.

See y'all at the exit. If you make it. Good luck.

Every man for themselves. Right?

You're gonna wanna read this.

Now.

[sighs]

Now, see, that is the shit I don't like.

Shall I handle it?

While I do appreciate your fervor,

uh, let's not risk any valuable personnel by going out there.

[Rabbit breathing erratically on radio]

Lindon, please.

Rabbit, buddy.

I need an extraction.

I'm so tired of running.

It's gonna be alright, buddy,

we're comin' to get you. But, hey, listen,

there's something I need you to do first.

There's a hunter named "Parker."

She cannot leave this reserve alive.

Can I ask you to take an active role in the imposition...

No! I can't do it.

Please, just come and get me.

I will triple your salary.

[groans]

How much we talking about?

We made the right decision, man.

Them fools are gonna get their asses killed.

- [growling] - But like I said, man, stick with me...

[whispering] Stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop.

And we'll be out just... What, man?

[growling]

Yeah. Shoot it.

- What? - Yeah, man, come on.

That's what we're here for. Shoot it.

It's-it's peaceful creature.

Kind of. Hey, I'll do it.

AK, man.

What's up? What's up?

[dinosaur growls softly]

Here we go. Headshot.

- [gunfire] - [growling]

Oh, damn, he moved. [chuckles]

Oh, yeah. Alright, alright. I got this, alright, go.

- [gunfire] - [growling]

Damn, man.

Whoa, man! You hit that thing with a shotgun.

- Hmm. - That's badass.

Do-do you hear that?

Nah, man, I ain't hear nothin'.

[squawking]

[screaming] Get it off!

No, please, no!

[growling]

[whimpering]

[Sergei screaming]

I gotta get out of here.

[panting]

[dinosaur squawking]

Jesus. [gasping]

[heavy footsteps approaching]

[panting]

[beeping]

[choking]

Ooh. Hi.

Too much for you, mi amor?

Huh, this little adventure not going the way you expected?

[grunts] It's going exactly as I expected!

[grunting]

Fine.

Oops.

- [laughing] - You don't wanna do this.

Yes, I do.

[gun cocks]

Drop the knives.

Valentino, just let us have a little bit of fun here, eh?

We all paid to kill dinosaurs, not people.

That's pretty stupid logic if you're going to, uh, shoot us.

No... just you.

[laughing]

Okay.

[panting]

I had it handled.

That's a funny way of saying "thank you."

Once again, I don't need your help.

You need to take a hint, Parker.

It is time for you to hold a real weapon.

- I don't... - Shut up.

Parker, people are dying.

Our numbers are dwindling.

Did you see Torres?

He's gonna scalp me alive the second he has a chance.

I need you to have my back.

Hold it!

- What the hell? - Please! I heard voices.

Oh, my God. I am so glad I found people.

I've been out there for so long.

Who are you?

[Rabbit] I'm with the hunting group.

I'm the only one left.

Those things, man, they're everywhere.

Are you with the reserve?

Do we look like we're with the reserve?

How long have you been out there?

I don't know.

I'm Rabbit, by the way. You guys have names?

I'm Valentine.

That's Parker, Bullock. This is Torres.

- Parker... - [Torres] Hey!

You don't look like no hunter.

I'm not.

I'm actually an accountant.

Yeah.

I thought I could handle this, but I was so wrong.

What's in the bag?

[Rabbit] The bag?

I found somethin' really strange out there.

You wanna see it?

What the hell is this?

[Rabbit] I think it's some type of synthetic compound.

That's a mighty big assumption for an accountant.

May I?

I think it's...

[yelling]

[Torres] What... Get...

What the hell just happened?

- [Valentine] Are you okay? - Do you smell that?

[all groaning]

[dinosaur growling]

Let's go, let's go!

Run, go!

[loud footsteps approaching]

[growling]

[roaring]

[Riggs] It has begun.

They're dropping like flies, sir.

[man on video] I said take... [indistinct chatter]

- Oh. - What are you, a woman? Huh?

- Jesus freak. - [man 2] I'm lactose intolerant, man.

Perfection.

- [man 1] Lactose intolerant! - [laughs]

- You think... - [hissing]

- [laughing] - Dumbass!

Oh. Okay.

What's that smell?

Wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop.

[panting]

You gotta get rid of the jacket. Ditch it now, go.

- Go. Now! - What is it?

- Dino hormones. Has to be. - [groans]

Hunters use that sometimes to attract prey.

Look, anything that got spray on it,

you gotta get rid of it, alright?

So who was that yo puta guy, hey?

He has to work for Lindon.

Wait, so Lindon's trying to kill us?

The Jurassic hunters have become the Jurassic hunted.

This place is insane.

Lindon is crazy.

He's out of control.

This doesn't end until we're all dead

or until he thinks we're all dead.

We have to get off the grid.

For once, we're on the same page.

Who's first?

I'll do it.

- [Parker] No. - It'll work.

[sighing]

Do you know what you're doing?

[winces]

Let me see. Alright.

All the, uh, chip signals are dead.

Rabbit must have done his job.

What are you lookin' for?

[Lindon] Riggsy, do you know why I'm in charge?

Nepotism?

It's because I am thorough, and I leave nothing to chance.

My tasks are completed to a level of perfection rarely achieved by others,

with no loose ends and no collusion.

Something to remember if you ever want to be a big dog

in the corporate machine.

Ah.

Shit.

Do you want me to send the team in?

No collusion.

We are not murderers, Riggs, we are moderators at best.

We allow nature to sort herself out naturally.

That said, we can make their chances of survival difficult.

How many more provision drops are there?

- Three, sir. - Yeah, let's make sure those are canceled

and all loose caches are removed.

No food, plus no weapons, equals no hunters.

- Easy. - Yes, sir. I'm on it.

My little piggies.

[chuckles]

My man, Rambo.

We need to be silent, no? This silent.

There's something about hunting dinosaur with bow and arrow.

It just seem right, you know?

Does it?

So campsite two?

Yeah, we'll have more supplies there.

That's just where Lindon wants us to go.

So? We kill him.

And anything else that try to stop us.

He'll be waiting for us there.

We have to use the element of surprise.

So what then?

You're a hunter, right?

Let's hunt.

You mean for that little guy that sprayed you?

Wherever he's goin', probably be safe.

Ooh, I am going to love gutting that little pendejo.

We gotta keep him alive to get to Lindon.

Without him we have no leverage, no nothing.

Don't jeopardize our only lead.

[mechanical buzzing]

Wait. You hear that?

Yeah.

[Lindon] Good, good, good. But let's try this, alright?

Let's slide this down nice and easy like this.

And there we should be able to watch all our little friends.

Alright, let's get it over here and take a little peek.

You like to watch, don't you?

Yeah, you do.

And we should see one, two...

Three should be right over...

[static buzzing]

Rambo, baby.

Yeah, not too bad.

Now, do you think you can find Rabbit?

Does a dinosaur shit in the woods?

He went that way.

Ooh!

Hey, you even know where you're goin'?

[Torres chuckles]

He's fast, but messy.

Stay here.

Can we trust him?

I don't know. I hope so.

I told you he would skin me alive

if it meant his own survival.

That's probably still the case.

Been trackin' us for a while.

You used us as bait?

Torres, teamwork.

Hey, I just saved your lives, okay?!

[sighs]

You can have the next one if you like.

Can I borrow your knife a second?

Gracias.

[chuckling]

[grunting]

You want one?

Alright, hurry up, we're wasting time.

Alright, he's getting further away.

Come on. Get what you need, and let's go.

[sighs]

Gracias.

You're so nice.

He's here.

Down there.

[branch snaps]

[screaming]

Let me go, let me go!

If I do that, Torres here is gonna open your throat.

What-what do you want me to do?

Make a call.

We don't have two days.

I need a new drone now.

So get Jeff on the phone

and tell him to use that fancy prototype delivery drone

to bring us a new drone now.

Rabbit, for you.

Go.

You're gonna wanna take this.

[sighs]

[exhales]

[clears throat]

Talk to me.

It's done.

Elaborate.

They are...

[grunting]

Dead. They're dead, all of 'em.

Are you sure?

[Rabbit] After they shot down the drone, I scented them

and then the raptors got 'em.

I saw it with my own two eyes.

Congratulations.

You've become a very, very rich man.

Campsite two, high noon.

I'll bring my checkbook.

[Torres] We don't need him anymore.

He's dead weight.

- He's still useful to us. - It's a mistake!

We made a deal with him. We're keepin' him alive.

Look, the map says campsite two isn't far from here.

I say we camp here for the night.

Yeah, it's safe enough for him, it'll be safe enough for us.

At least, let me check my traps.

Obviously, we didn't trip any coming in.

They need to be checked.

Look, I don't wanna die here either,

and you don't know where they all are.

Show me.

Uh... I got bad news.

We're gonna have to put this out otherwise they might see it.

Well, then I think you ought to give me your scarf, pretty boy.

[breathes deeply]

Good, it's done.

That's the last one.

Okay, vamonos.

Come on, pendejo!

Alright. [grunts]

Come on!

[grunts]

Try that again.

Por favor, try to escape one more time,

so I can accidentally bash your skull nine times on one of these rocks, hey?

Your time will come.

Now, get your ass up.

You going to show the world this part of your hunting video?

Where you tie up a man and hold him against his will?

The world needs to see what's goin' on here.

I haven't killed anybody.

Not yet.

[scoffs]

[sighs]

Just make sure that gets to its proper home.

It does not deserve to stay here.

Strangely nice of you. [scoffs]

I always kept a souvenir from every person I kill.

But maybe it's time for a change.

Just out of curiosity,

how many people have you murdered?

[Torres chuckles]

There was a-a sniper in Afghanistan...

and he was pickin' off US troops, like for weeks.

So they brought me in to hunt the monster.

Sniper.

So I'm laying on my belly for days,

and I'm scouting every nook and cranny, every shadow.

I cannot see him.

But I know he's there and I know...

I know that he's doin' the same thing.

He's hunting me.

Five-hundred yards in the unforgiving terrain and crosswinds everywhere.

[grunts]

Got him.

The reflection... in the scope.

Right in his eye.

There is nothing like killing another human being.

[inhales]

But when they die...

you know, a little piece of you dies, too.

[chuckles]

Well, thank you for your service.

Okay. But what about you, eh?

Yeah, I can tell you served.

Yep. [exhales]

Maria, mira puesso.

So development group.

SEAL Team Six. Soldier for life!

You know... [sighs]

which was always assumed to be a short life.

All I ever wanted was to die a warrior's death.

You both place such a low value on life.

If you had to blow Lindon's brains out

to escape this place...

could you do it?

[gunshot sound]

You're a real psycho, you know that?

Maybe I am.

[dinosaur squawking]

[spraying]

[heavy footsteps]

[Parker muttering]

[groans]

Where's the...? Where's the...?

- [growling] - [yells]

[panting]

Watch, Valentino.

Where are you going?

Hunting.

Adios, mi amor.

[dinosaur growling]

[yells]

[grunts]

You're dead! You hear me? Dead!

Hey, hey, come on.

Hey, listen, I still need you okay?

There's still a mission for you to complete, soldier, understand?

[Valentine groans]

Where's the bottle? Give me the bottle.

Shit.

Thank you for saving me back there.

Oh, feeling's mutual.

[grunts]

Let's go. Let's get out of here. [grunts]

[panting]

[squawking]

Oh, you want to play, hey?

Okay, come on, let's do this. Eh?

Ahh!

[dinosaurs squawking]

Hey, come on. [chuckling]

[grunting]

Hey. Hey.

[chuckling]

Come on, baby.

[squawking]

[grunting]

[dinosaur growling]

[speaking in Spanish]

[Parker] I have to tell you something.

Lindon isn't trying to kill us, he's trying to kill me.

These glasses are recording everything in here.

[Valentine] So you are a spy.

I'm with an agency that's trying to expose this place and its cruelty.

I've got to get this footage out of here.

What if Rabbit's alive?

- [grunts] - [Parker] If he is alive,

I seriously doubt he would contact Lindon after he got free

and tell him that he lied, and that we're still alive.

[breathing heavily]

Hey, Valentine, campsite two!

We're here. Hey, buddy. Hey.

Keep movin'.

[Valentine grunting]

Enjoying the hunt, Miss Parker?

[grunting]

You son of a...

Ouch! That looked painful and completely unnecessary.

Riggs, you bad boy.

Didn't your father ever teach you never to strike a woman,

but if you do, you beat her to the body, so the bruises won't show?

[chuckling]

Oh, Rabbit, buddy!

How nice of you to join us.

- I can explain. - Mm-hmm.

They were gonna set a trap on you.

[Lindon] Clearly, we figured that out, but thank you.

- Where's the other one? - [Rabbit] Dead.

You'll forgive me if I don't trust you anymore,

so we'll double check that when we're done here.

We're lucky we were tracking you,

but we'll circle back to that betrayal thing in just a moment.

Now, I'm not gonna hurt you or kill you,

- but whilst you are in my beautiful nature sanctuary... - [panting]

...you will not enjoy any unnatural advantages either.

Nerd.

- Someone... - Someone will what?

Replace you? Leak the secrets?

Nobody cares.

I've had US senators here,

- the general of one of those Asian armies... - Lujo.

Lujo. Hollywood directors, rap superstars,

all come here for the same reason.

The thrill of the hunt.

They don't care.

Even that one guy in your group...

What was his name? Uh, Pecker? Poultry?

- Sergei. - Sergei, close enough. Even him.

He's some Russian tech genius with direct ties

to the President of the United States,

who I am this close to convincing

to come out here for a weekend.

We're all good.

- [laughs] - [dinosaurs squawking]

Eh-ah.

You can't keep your secrets contained here forever.

It's not just dinosaurs you're killing, it's people.

- People will care! - [Riggs] Easy there.

And if that happens, we'll be insured.

Or on a beach somewhere.

I hear Tahiti is nice this time of year.

- Do you like Tahiti, Riggs? - I can dig it. [chuckles]

How about you, Miss Parker? Do you like Tahiti?

Tahiti is awesome.

Visit the big Fuck You Island. I hear it's beautiful.

[grunts]

[both laughing]

[dinosaur squawking]

[growling]

Whoa!

[squawking]

[grunting]

- [dinosaur growls] - [gasps]

[growls]

[panting]

Hey, you. Hey, buddy, wake up, come on! Hey!

[dinosaur growling]

[gasps]

- [grunts] - Jesus Christ!

[panting]

[Valentine groans]

What'd I miss?

[sniffles]

- [Valentine grunts] - Bad guy won.

[sighs]

Your glasses.

Lindon got exactly what he wanted.

I even killed more dinosaurs to save myself.

[sighs] At least there's no video evidence of that.

This isn't funny! This isn't a joke!

This place... [sighs]

It can't be stopped!

If Lindon dies, the corporation will just send another Lindon.

If I die, Lindon was right, no one will care.

[Valentine] Then don't die.

Get out of this place.

At least, you have your voice.

Lindon can't control that.

[grunting]

Give me the gun.

Where are you going?

[sighs] To the truck.

Hello? Hello, is anybody out there?

Somebody answer this now or you're all fired!

[man on radio] Lindon, is that you?

Of course, it's me!

I need an immediate extraction.

You send the whole team, you send everyone!

Copy, we can do that. What's your location?

Somewhere near campsite... [grunts]

Somewhere near campsite two.

But where near campsite two?

How in the hell should I know! That's your job!

You come and get me. Move your asses.

Do you have a tracking chip or something?

No, I don't have a fucking tracking chip!

On a side note,

kill anyone and everything that isn't me.

You understand what I'm saying? Clear this park.

I'm talking dinosaurs, women, babies, anyone who isn't me.

Your boss, the guy who signs your checks.

[dinosaur growling]

[man on radio] Try to make your way back to the gate, sir.

- We'll find you. - [Lindon] You clear this park, you understand?

Well, bad luck, Parker.

Keys are probably in the belly of a pterodactyl somewhere.

Can't you hotwire this thing?

I mean, didn't they teach you how to do that in Desert Storm?

No, they did not teach me how to hot wire 2010 Tacoma in Desert Storm.

I wasn't even in Desert Storm.

Whoa! Oh, thank God, I'm so glad you found me.

I really need your help. I think they're right behind me.

[guns cocking]

No.

Fire.

[Lindon on radio] Hello? Hello? Does anyone copy?

- I copy. - Oh, good.

In case, you haven't noticed, I'm still out here,

somewhere south of campsite two.

I've been walking for hours.

Hours? We would have seen him by now.

Hello, can you hear me?

[man] Sir, are you sure it's south?

Yes, south! From campsite two, toward the exit.

- I'm not a total idiot. - Okay, sir.

We're close. We should be seein' you any minute.

Okay, hop to, chop, chop.

I keep hearing shit in the bushes.

Alright, it's clear.

- Lindon could be wrong. - It's possible.

But if they get to the exit before we do...

We have to fight our way out.

We don't stand a chance.

We have to find a way around them and beat them out.

Alright, hear me out.

Maybe he's dino-food by now.

One can only hope.

Should we call him?

Go ahead.

[rustling in bushes]

What the hell was that?

Sir? Mr. Lindon?

Maybe it was a dinosaur.

There's no way this works.

It's a bag hanging from a tree.

What's not to be curious about?

Well, they're just about to walk...

[shushing]

Don't!

[dinosaurs growling]

- God, it smells. - [men yelling and coughing]

Good. It shouldn't be long now. Let's move.

Whoa, hey.

Just me. Finally.

Now, how hard was that, guys? Where's transport?

[Lindon retching]

Oh, my God, what is that smell?

[dinosaur growls]

Oh, God. No, no. Get away from me. Stay!

- What? - You stay there.

I gotta get out of here.

You guys, you go that way, I'm gonna go this way.

[dinosaur growling]

[squawks]

[squawking and growling]

Get 'em! Kill them!

[grunts]

Huh?

[slow-motion yelling]

[screaming]

[gunfire]

[screaming]

[Valentine] Wait.

[Parker] What?

We got another problem.

- We are not alone either. - How many?

Uh, two, three, maybe more. I don't...

Alright, we'll make a stand here.

[dinosaur growling]

No, not this time. You need to keep movin'.

It's the only way.

- Take this. - You'll die.

Alright, I'll cover you and you get out of here, okay?

Happy hunting, Valentine.

That's what I came to do.

Don't look back.

[growling]

Really? Not one of you could have followed her, huh?

[growling]

Okay. Let's go!

Oh, uh, Miss Parker.

Are you forgetting something?

Give it to me.

You know, it's never too late to earn back my trust.

Shut up and give me that key!

Or what? Or what, you'll shoot me?

I don't think so.

Last chance!

You know what? Then you do it.

You shoot me right here, and you take it from me!

[laughing] Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

For a moment there I wasn't 100% sure

which way it was gonna go. I mean, it could have went either way.

Whoo! Oh, my God, that was intense.

What do you want, Lindon?

At this point, I don't even know anymore.

I just... I just want you out of my reserve.

Go tell your story, tell whoever will listen.

I already told you it's not going to matter.

We? We'll be back up in a week. Back up and running.

And you? You could be on television with Sally Struthers

doing your feed-the-dinosaur thing.

You know, for the price of a cup of coffee a day,

you could feed a stegosaurus for a month, right?

All you have to do is just...

Just put down the gun and go.

See? I'm a reasonable guy.

Be sure to leave that on your Yelp review.

I can't believe you're that stupid.

Come on over here and get on your knees.

You really thought I'd let you walk out of here alive

after all the shit you've pulled?

No, Miss Parker.

I truly hope you are as flexible as you are tenacious,

because it's time to bend over and kiss your ass goodbye.

[groans]

Please, not the face. Not the face! Not the face!

[whimpering]

Give me the real key, fast!

[dinosaur squawking]

Listen, I think if we just...

[yelling]

[squawking]

Just kill me, get it over with.

I'm not gonna kill you.

Remember?

No collusion.

[squawking]

- Okay, okay. - Welcome to Jurassic Hunt, you son of a bitch.

No!

[squawking]

Get back! [screaming]

[panting]

[engine starts]

[panting]

Did you miss me?

You're alive.

I told you not to look back.

Now, let's get out of here.

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull