Original subtitles

- Previously onFive Bedrooms... - Arggh!

DOCTOR: It looks like you're gonna have to have surgery.

What does that mean in real terms?

No more footy, and he'll have to rethink his career.

You're just on your third beer, then?

Gotta have something to get through the pain.

- Elizabeth Wendell. Hello. - Hello.

HEATHER: Joseph!

And also with you.

HARRY: Sorry, are you talking about open relationships?

- You don't have to do this. - No, I want to try.

Apparently, your work ethic's gone to shit,

you're late all the time and you're snapping at staff.

As nurse unit manager, I'm giving you an official warning.

HEATHER: I always knew I'd been put on this earth to nurse.

All under control, Mr Steer. Don't you move a muscle.

Helping people is all I've ever done.

Wednesday was just peanut butter and ham and lettuce on white bread.

Thursday was just butter and raw corn. Oh, and chalk.

- Yes, all pretty standard. - Mmm.

Just how big are my nipples going to get?

No-one knows.

The problem is, I never knew where to draw the line.

You forgot the popcorn machine.

He hates popcorn.

- That's Louie. - Hate it.

Have you packed the fitted sheets and the toilet paper?

I'll call you as soon as I've unpacked.

If you change your mind,

you want to come home, there's no shame in that.

Yes, there is! That would be absolutely tragic for everyone.

He's old enough to go to war, for Christ's sake.

- Get in the car. - Beautiful moment, Mum.

Love you, mate.

(CAR STARTS)

(HORN HONKS)

- Morning, Heath. Got a minute? - Not really.

Just need you in early tomorrow.

We've got an 8am with Yvonne from HR.

- What, both of us? - Yep.

- What for? - Can't tell you.

- Are you serious? - Yes.

You seriously not gonna tell me what this is about?

I'm asking you nicely. Be on time.

What, we not giving you enough to do?

Oh, no, I wasn't. I'm just...

OK, I did hear a few...

Not enough to...

Just, I got the sense...

Is Heather in trouble?

Just get her here on time tomorrow.

Yvonne is not a patient woman.

And if Heather goes into that meeting 40 minutes late,

acting like...herself, then...

Is it about the lateness?

I'm not saying anything else, Liz.

The profanity? The hairclips?

Is it about the bullying?

Oh, my God.

Just keep her calm.

Mate, all you gotta do is turn up.

You'd be a glorified doorman. All you have to do is open the door for people.

You only need one good arm for that.

Joseph's not talking about a new career.

It's just a stopgap.

- Exactly. - BEN: Yeah, I know.

But I want to take some time

and really think about what I do next.

You know. Get a plan happening.

If...if I could just chime in.

You know, really, once upon a time, um,

the idea of working as a receptionist

in an aged-care facility

would have been deeply offensive to me.

- It's perfectly understandable. - (BEN SIGHS)

But despite my initial misgivings,

it's actually been incredibly rewarding.

You know, sometimes I will just catch a moment between...

..a patient and a staff member, and it's...a privilege.

I mean, I'm a receptionist, yes, but...

..you know, I'm also a patron in the theatre of humanity.

HEATHER: Is that what you'redoing?

I'm wiping arses

and you're a patron in the theatre of humanity?

And I'm happy for you, Lizzie. That's spot-on.

But it's just not for me.

Listen, I've been throwing this bloke

a lot of business over the years, mate.

You just have to literally turn up and cash the cheque.

Joe, you don't have to flick me a pity job

just to impress Lizzie.

Wow. OK.

(SIGHS) Nice one, mate.

You're all class, Benno.

And on that note...

..take care of yourself, and, uh, you know,

when things turn to shit, give us a call, OK?

Um, Liz, um...

..do you think we could maybe have a little word outside?

Is that...? Yeah?

Uh...goodbyes have never really been a strength

of the Chigwell men.

(LAUGHS)

(SIGHS) Um...Liz.

Uh...

..in regard to Ben's...

..parting comment,

I mean, you know, obviously, there's...

..you know, there's... there's an attraction here.

Well...well, there... there is on my part. Um...

I don't know. Maybe... maybe it's a one-way street.

There might have been some... light traffic on the other side.

(BOTH LAUGH)

OK, well, then I'm sure that you agree that...

..it...it would be a mistake.

Of course.

So, why exactly?

Oh, oh...s-sorry, Ben indicated

that you and him have a bit of a romantic past?

I see.

You know, I think stirring...

..in that...crossover...

Well, I wouldn't exactly call it crossover, but, yeah, sure.

OK. Well, I'm really glad that...

We're talking a matter of minutes

in a caravan before we moved in.

Oh, yeah, he didn't really go into the detail...

I mean, if anything, it just confirmed

that Ben and I are bereft of any chemistry.

I mean, I didn't even take my bra off.

OK, I...I'm... don't know what that means.

Well, I don't know why I said it.

Well, um...

..enjoy Singapore, Joseph.

I'll, uh...

..I'll try.

I might just...

(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)

- Is that really necessary? - What?

You couldn't knock that stubby off before you came to bed?

Well, I was... I was gonna read for a bit.

Is that a problem?

I'm, you know...

..just not a big fan of beer fumes in the bedroom.

Alright.

Fix that.

(SIGHS)

Is it possible that you might be drinking too much?

No. Only had four beers in the last...

..sorry, five beers in the last two and a half hours.

Oh, right. And that's supposed to reassure me?

Yep.

Look, I'm not saying don't drink at all.

I'm just saying maybe you cap it to...

..one or two a day.

- Duly noted. - (CHUCKLES)

"Duly noted" you agree,

or "Duly noted, thanks for your two cents' worth, shove it up your arse"?

Oh! (SIGHS)

Look, I know you're only trying to help,

but I don't need you to tell me how much I can drink.

I don't want to have these conversations with you.

- Then don't. - Well, someone has to!

- Does it have to be you? - OK, who else is gonna do it?

You're not my fuckin' mother!

I didn't... Oh, fuck.

(DOOR OPENS AND SLAMS)

(BLENDER WHIRRS)

- Good morning! - Why are you yelling at me?

- Sorry? - I'm right here.

Um, I took the liberty of making you a coffee.

Thank you.

Could I offer you a breakfast muffin,

fruit salad or protein smoothie?

- No. - OK.

Also, don't forget you've got that meeting at 8am.

- I'll be in the car. - Right behind you!

OK, Heather slept in my bed last night.

I think her and Ben had a fight.

What?! What about?

I don't know. I couldn't get anything out of her.

She just lay there seething and clearing her throat.

Did Ben... did he sleep in Simmo's tent?

Come in for a feed if you want, mate.

What the hell happened in that room

that they both had to leave it?

- AINSLEY: Good morning! - Morning.

Look, I think Heather is walking into a situation at work.

I think she could be in trouble.

Not serious trouble?

All I know is that if she goes in there angry, I don't know...

HEATHER: Liz! What the fuck are you doing?!

OK, coming! Sorry!

Just before your meeting, I thought it'd be a good idea

for us to take a moment.

- What for? - Centre ourselves.

To be alone with our thoughts.

I don't want to be alone with my thoughts.

Sometimes, I find it helpful to imagine...

..the negative things in my life as...

..as leaves.

And...and what I do is, is I picture those...

..leaves...

..falling down from a tree...

..into a...a babbling brook.

And then I watch those leaves floating away...

..floating away...

Oh, Jesus Christ, Liz! Just spit it out.

- What? - You obviously know something.

Do you have any intel about what I'm walking into today?

Course you don't. You're a fuckin' receptionist.

(DOOR SLAMS)

(CLEARS THROAT)

Right. Thank you for coming in early.

Not a problem. Uh, is this about the lateness?

No, it's not just about the lateness.

This is about an issue that has been brought to us by a number of staff.

O-OK. The, uh... the communal fridge.

It's not the fridge, Heather.

No, this issue is specifically about you.

What about me?

To be clear,

no-one's questioning your competence as a nurse.

No, what we're questioning is your personal behaviour.

(SCOFFS) What does that mean?

There have been several accusations of bullying made against you.

A number of staff and at least one patient

have, when questioned, said that they have felt bullied by you.

What exactly are we saying constitutes bullying here?

Intimidation and name-calling.

Is it because I called Karl a dipshit?

Because if you saw the way he puts an IV in,

you'd know that's practically a term of endearment.

Karl doesn't see it that way, Heather.

PAT: The point of this meeting is

to avoid any further escalation.

It's actually to help you, Heather.

Is it?

Or is it just PC bullshit gone mad,

trying to 'help' the only dickhead

who actually pulls her own fucking weight around here?

Right, that's a second warning, and it's going in the book.

You know what, Yvonne?

You go ahead, you put it in your book,

and then you can shove it up your pencil-pushing arse.

- Heather! - I have spent my best years

going above and beyond for you people,

and this is what I get?

Well, get fucked. I quit.

Hello.

COLIN: It's Colin. Don't let on it's me.

- Is Heather on the premises? - No, she's at work.

Who is there, please?

Um...Harry and me, and I think Ben's here somewhere.

I am on approach.

Bullying?

And in response, she blew up and quit the nursing home.

- What?! - Oh, my God. - When did that happen?

Oh, almost 40 minutes ago.

And she called you?

No, I called her about Timmy's kitchenware dramas.

And let's just say she needed an outlet,

and I became that outlet.

She considers herself the innocent victim here,

but I think we all know...

..Heather Doyle... has a bullying problem.

- I don't reckon. - Oh, come on, mate.

We all love her enough to turn a blind eye,

but now it's starting to hurt other people.

Um, she can definitely be vehement...

But it comes from a good place.

Oh, heart of gold, no question. But she's guilty.

And the time has come for one of us...to tell her.

I vote you.

Mmm. As the old flame, I would have.

But, alas, that baton has been passed.

No, I'm probably not the man for that job.

- Just right at the moment. - Why is that?

Rather not get into it.

- Harry. - (LAUGHS)

Come on, Harry. She won't attack you.

Who else is gonna write her Valium prescriptions?

I assure you, she lashes out at me very regularly.

Then it's gotta be you, Ains.

You're the only one she won't attack full throttle.

She can still attack me without hurting the baby.

- You do realise that? - (DOOR BANGS)

Yeah. OK. She won't.

She won't risk it.

- What? - (STAMMERS) Where are they...?

AINSLEY: Heather!

HARRY: This is a surprise.

Surprise? I live here.

Oh, jeez!

HARRY: I just meant you're home early.

I won't ask what's going on with you and Heather.

Mmm. I appreciate that.

But...for what it's worth,

I've been there. (LAUGHS)

Done my time in the doghouse.

HEATHER: ..basically said fuck-all in my defence...

And let me say, if you ever need a pair of shoulders

to take some of the weight off that big old rig of yours,

you feel free to use mine.

HEATHER: ..arseholes, plural, made an official complaint...

Thank you, Col.

The more I think about it, the more I reckon it was Karl.

He's totally incompetent.

He can't even make eye contact with the oldies.

I mean, if I wasn't there to clean up his mistakes,

he'd probably kill someone,

but somehow I'mthe arsehole.

You're not an arsehole.

No. No, you are a...a very...

- Passionate. - Yeah.

A passionate and...and hardworking woman.

With the purest of intentions.

But...sometimes, Heath...

..sometimes you can be... slightly...

Bullish?

Oh, shit.

What?

- Confident. - Yeah.

Confident, in... in a way that could...

..be construed as...

..as...aggressive.

(COLIN GROANS)

Is there another way out of here or is this it?

HARRY: Or...you know, intimidating.

Slightly.

Just to some people.

Well.

Thank you.

Perfect day for you to find the balls

to tell me how you really feel.

- Oh, no. - Heath...

No, Harry, listen, I hope it works out with Xav,

'cause the next time you need someone

to drive your dating app, give your mother a call.

- Oh, come on. - And any further questions

about your nipples or how often you're farting

can probably go through Google from now on.

Uh...

(DOOR BANGS)

Look, solid effort, Ains. Terrific start.

I think there's more to say in the fullness of time,

but, uh...you did very well.

HEATHER: For the first time in years, I had nowhere to be.

Just me and my thoughts.

It wasn't a happy place.

(KNOCK AT DOOR, DOOR OPENS)

Liz, your face is very triggering for me right now.

- So if this isn't urgent... - I had a word with Pat.

After you left.

Apparently, if you pop in tomorrow

and offer a full apology to her, Yvonne and the entire staff,

they will consider re-examining the situation.

Meapologise to them?

I am but the humble messenger.

Would you like me to respond on your behalf in some way?

What is my face telling you?

Oh, this seems like a trap.

But OK.

Is it saying, "Liz, I appreciate you offering this information.

"Leave me now, please, and run for your life"?

Close enough.

(DOOR CLOSES)

OK, Harry. You're up.

No, no, no. I've...I've already tried. We both have.

No, no, we are all committing

to a minimum of three attempts each.

If she doesn't do a complete 180 in 12 hours,

they will not let her back.

Is there any chance that's what she wants?

- She doesn't. - She only thinks she does.

But that's just the rage and the adrenaline.

When...when thatwears off and she realises what she's done...

OK. Would they accept a written apology?

I know all her internet passwords.

Has to be a full face-to-face with the entire staff

in 12 hours.

XAVIER: No. (CLEARS THROAT)

I think you guys are all overthinking this.

Seriously, when somebody quits their job on a whim,

there's only thing you can do.

You take 'em to the loudest club you can find

and you get 'em smashed.

- Mmm. - Mmm.

No, I'm tell...I'm telling you. That's how you crack her open.

Oh, that approach might work with some people, but...

- Not to Heather. - No, definitely not.

(OTHERS LAUGH)

Well, why don't I just ask her, then?

HARRY: Uh...

Uh...Harry, I hope you enjoyed your time together.

(JAUNTY KNOCK AT DOOR)

No, thank you!

XAVIER: I come bearing wine.

- Enter. - (DOOR OPENS)

OK, full disclosure - we're also going to a club.

All of us. So that includes you.

I'm not going anywhere.

And I'm certainly not going anywhere with noise or people.

I understand, and I empathise, but you will find no peace here.

They're not gonna leave you alone.

They are planning waves of interventions.

It's terrifying. Counselling. Mindfulness.

Mmm - somebody mentioned cupping at some point.

Ainsley has nine self-help books.

Fine. I'll just lock the door.

Most of them are audiobooks.

They'll just come straight through the door.

Well, I'll put on noise-cancelling headphones

and I'll drug myself to sleep.

They're not gonna let you sleep.

So, you can endure that,

or...

..we go someplace so loud,

you're not gonna hear a single word they say.

Where?

(DOOR CLICKS)

Get changed.

We're all going to DPs.

- AINSLEY: What?! - LIZ: I need details.

- Every single word you said. - No. This is not reality.

- Is it Double Punch? - XAVIER: Nope.

- Is it Double Pop? - (LAUGHS) Keep guessing.

Uh... And it is definitely DPs? Not DVs or Bs?

HEATHER: Is it Double Penetration?

Oh, Heath! You look so...

- Shut up. - You look incredible.

- Just shut your face. - You really do.

How hard is it to not say words?

- We're just trying to... - Not hard.

In fact, it's easier than sayingwords.

BEN: You heading out, are you?

AINSLEY: We are going clubbing.

Have a good night.

You too.

(DOOR CLOSES)

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYS)

- Cheers. Down the hatch. - HARRY: Come on, Heather.

Cheers!

XAVIER: Whoo-hoo!

Whoo! Alright, another one.

(LAUGHS)

Ahh!

Is this the best you could do?

- It's empty. - Yeah.

I promised you noise, not crowds.

I thought you'd be happy.

Alright, let's... let's go again. Come on.

(PATRONS CHEER AND CHATTER)

How are you feeling?

- The tequila's helping. - Excellent.

Have you had a chance to talk to Ben since last night?

I came here specifically to avoid this, Ains.

OK.

Ben said...

.."You're not my fucking mother."

Oh.

I'm sure he didn't mean it. I mean, he's on a lot of oxy.

He knew what he was saying.

What is the deal with you and the loaded brother?

Nothing. It's flatlined.

- I don't understand. - No, neither do I.

Do you know what...

Not only did I make a complete dick of myself with Joseph,

do you know what really burns me up?

Please.

What? Tell me.

When...when Harry and I started our...

..our mission to achieve more sex,

do you know, my big concern was, "How is Harry gonna cope

"when I start racking up all these numbers?"

Turns out the exact number - zero.

Fucking loser!

I even bumped up my age range in the dating apps to 55.

And the only person I have slept with

since my... spin in the caravan -

my ex-husband.

Well, that is gonna change.

Because tonight...

..you're gonna pick up.

Alright, there's, like, a dozen people here,

so I think the odds...

Liz, Liz. Look at you.

Come on.

- Shots. - Perfect.

Oh. Thank you. Oh.

- (SIGHS) - OK. Come on, Heather.

- Come on. Up, up, up, up, up. - Just...just one song.

We can do this the easy way or the hard way.

- Come on. - Up, up, up, up, up.

AINSLEY: Oh!

- Yeah. You know you want to. - Oh, come on.

An obscene amount of money has been thrown over that bar.

Just give us something.

OK, fine!

If you can get Lucinda Williams, Loretta Lynn or the Waifs

through the speakers, I'll dance.

I don't know who any of those people are.

They're all tortured country singers.

- Good luck. - Ugh.

Hi.

Could we persuade you to play a request?

I know it's such an insult, but we wouldn't be asking

if this wasn't a life-or-death situation.

I suppose you're a doctor?

Oh, my God! I actually am. I kid you...

- Like, I'm a surgeon. - He is!

Well, no-one's dying per se, but, uh...

..but I can confirm we do have a legitimate musicemergency.

- What's the song? - XAVIER: Loretta Lynn.

Lucinda Williams?

- Or the Waifs! - Whoa. OK.

Listen, if I play any of that,

I'm never coming back here again.

There's, like, two people dancing.

Yeah, and I can't afford to lose 'em.

I understand the gravity of what we're asking you to do,

but we are dealing with a middle-aged lady

in a huge amount of pain,

and if she doesn't dance off

at least some of the alcohol she's consumed,

there's a very real chance she could implode.

I'd...I'd love to help, really, genuinely...

Would it make any difference if...if I bought you a beer?

- (LAUGHS) I get those for free. - Well, a cocktail, then.

As...as a gesture of goodwill. OK? OK?

- OK. - Wait.

- Why'd you go? - That man was into you.

What?!

Harry, he was flirting with you.

No, he wasn't!

Harry, I know fuck-me eyes when I see them.

Oh, my God.

That particularly cute guy is into you,

and I'm into the idea that you might be into him.

And everything else...

..is up to you.

(LAUGHS)

Simmo, I've got it. OK, Heather cracked.

Apparently, Ben said to her...

.."You're not my mother."

- Well, that's alright. It's... - What?

No. No, no. No, Simmo, it's terrible.

Well, if it's mymum, sure, but...

..Benny's mum, that's pretty much a compliment.

- No, Simmo, um... - You should see her, Ains.

Sandy Chigwell.

Not only is she a delightful conversationalist,

she was model material.

She's still a very good-looking lady, you know.

OK, Simmo, it... it would be the equivalent

of someone describing you as...

..a man who never returns a shout.

Shit. Really?

- He needs to apologise. - Leave it with me.

I hear you. I feel you. I'm all over it like a mad rash.

Oh, I'm pretty tired, mate.

Well, stir yourself, son.

This chat is happening right now.

Now, we both know

how I felt about your mum when I was younger.

What?!

We both know how hot she was, still is, and anyone who met her

would be proud to be compared to Sandy Chigwell, yeah?

Not so much Heath, mate.

(SIGHS)

Oh, what did they tell you?

Well, this is just... coming from Ains,

and...that's pretty much all she said.

Oh, I didn't mean she was like my actual mum.

I just meant that...

- Fuckin' hell! - Mmm.

You know, it wasn't even about her.

I was pissed and I was just arcing up about everything.

Most of it was really about Joe.

Well, maybe tell her that, mate. Yeah?

Go in hard with an apology

and...maybe stress that she's nothing like your mum.

Tell her...she's so youthful, she's like...J.Lo.

Nah. J.Lo's older than you think, mate.

Well, tell her she'd probably still fit into Mia's clothes.

- What? - Yeah, don't...don't say that.

But say something, mate, whatever it takes.

Just fix it.

- You fair dinkum? - Hey?

Were you really that into my mum?

Oh, it was mostly at the tail end of year eight.

A few weeks in the summer of 2013, if I'm honest.

Yeah. She wore a hell of a dress to your 30th.

- Come on. - I still think about it.

Alright.

(DOOR OPENS)

AINSLEY: I know this one!

You could have a little move to this.

I agreed to very specific terms.

OK, you know what? I am five months pregnant.

I've been here for 12 rounds,

and every time Liz took a shot, she flicked me with tequila.

It's seeping into my skin.

I googled it - I could already be drunk.

I have earned this dance.

That's disgraceful, using your unborn child like that.

Get up!

- (PUTS DOWN GLASS) - Come on!

(CHEERING)

- Here she comes! Whoo! - Whoa!

(PATRONS CHEER AND CHATTER)

- Come on! - Come on, Heather!

XAVIER: Come on, Heather. You know you want to.

(PATRONS CHEER AND CHATTER)

(CHEERING)

- XAVIER: Yes, queen! - Whoo!

Timmy?

Timmy?

PATRON: Who is that?

Timmy!

Oi, Timmy! Why are you walking away from me?

What's happening here?

What...what are you wearing?

- Why are you here? - It wasn't my idea.

Timmy. Timmy. Can you just... just talk to me for one minute?

Not right now.

Look, I mean, you know, if you're into boys, then...

- Oh, my God! - I don't give a shit.

- I couldn't care less. - Then why are you asking?

Mate!

I'm out of the house, I am off my face,

I have just seen my son in a dress

for the first time in my life,

and I don't understand what I'm seeing.

- What does it look like? - I don't know.

Are you in...

Are you into cross-dressing?

- (SIGHS) - Or are...are you trans?

- No! - Well, what...what is it?

Is it some kind of... kind of...kind of dress-up?

(SIGHS)

I'm gender-fluid.

What does that mean?

- (SIGHS) - Tim...Timmy.

I don't care what you are. I just want to understand.

Look, if you're worried about your dad finding out,

I will not tell him.

Dad already knows.

Oh, for fuck's sake!

Stop walking away from me!

Fuck's sake! Just...leave me alone!

We both know I'm not gonna do that.

(SIGHS)

Just...just give me 10 minutes.

- Five. - Eight.

Three.

Please.

(SIGHS)

Hurry up.

Does it feel...

..does it mean that you feel a bit more like a woman?

Sometimes.

It changes.

I don't know. I'm still figuring it out.

How long have you felt this way?

Since high school.

But since you left, I... (SIGHS)

..I've been able to feel... freer... (SIGHS)

..to explore it.

It was peaceful in a way it never was when you were there.

Dad wanted to talk to us all the time.

No! See, you make that face because you have no idea.

That was exactly what I needed.

He was emotional and vulnerable,

and all you ever did was run him down for it.

- That's not true. - That's all you ever do.

And then you left him,

traded up for the most masculine man on earth.

How do you think that made me feel?

I...I didn't think.

No, you fuckin' didn't.

And I didn't tellDad.

I didn't need to. He saw it before I did.

He brought it up.

(SIGHS) What?

Nothing.

I'm just listening.

- I'm gonna put her in a cab. - She's done so well.

More dancing?

I love this song.

Harry's gonna get you in a cab.

Oh, thank God.

Alright.

(SIGHS)

Bye.

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYS)

Um, your friend that just left, um...

..is she pregnant?

Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

So, do you usually come to clubs

with pregnant women and middle-aged country fans?

Oh, yeah, th-that's pretty much my posse.

(LAUGHS)

And the other friend?

The guy?

Oh, no, he...he's not a friend. He's, um...

- Boyfriend? - Yeah.

That's a shame.

Not necessarily.

Well, look, if the...if the two of you want to kick on,

I live around the corner.

Can you promise me...

..this isn't the end of the conversation?

I love you so much.

You know, I can live with stuffing up pretty much everything else.

But not you.

- Or Louie. - Or Louie.

- Or Dad. - Or your dad.

I miss you, mate.

Can I have a hug?

You just tell me what you want.

(SIGHS) I...

..want to go back to my friends

and pretend like this never happened

and scull seven shots in a row.

Then go do it.

- Not with you. - Yeah, I got that.

('PONY' BY THE WAIFS PLAYS INSIDE)

Did you do this?

In a way.

I'm gonna act like I don't know you.

I know.

* Somewhere out in between

* Where I wasn't where you wanted me to be... *

PATRONS: Boo!

* Gonna get on my pony... *

You've been dancing literally all night.

Why are you standing still now?

What? I can't!

I have campaigned literally for hours.

This DJ is...is risking his entire career. Where's Heather?

* Gonna get on my pony and ride

* Gonna get on my high horse and fly

* Well, the stars came out

* And the sun went down... *

We can't leave her up there by herself.

* It was all around

* Got lost somewhere

* Never to be found

* Somewhere out on the wide and rollin' seas

* Gonna get on my pony and ride... *

HEATHER: Now we're talking!

Oh! Come on!

* Gonna get on my high horse and fly... *

There she is!

Hey, yeah! Whoo!

* Gonna get on my pony and ride

* Gonna get on my high horse and fly... *

How are you feeling?

I don't know.

There's a lot of thoughts. And...tequila.

And...thoughts.

But are you having fun?

The DJ just told me he lives around the corner.

I might be getting the wrong message...

No, no, no. He...he wants you to go home with him.

Actually, I'm pretty sure he wants both of us.

* The sky was grey... *

This is absolutely up to you.

* And the sea was green

* And your eyes were a colour... *

Let's do it.

* That never been seen

* Got lost somewhere out in... *

Liz, I don't know what I'm going to, but...

..I'm going to go with Xavier and...the DJ.

- Oh, my God. - Yeah. Are you gonna be OK?

Yep. Yes! Yeah! Go. Go. Run.

No, um...but, um, just be safe and...

..take lots of mental photos.

OK.

* Gonna get on my high horse and fly

* Gonna get on my pony and ride

* Gonna get on my high horse and fly

* Gonna get on my, gonna get on my

* Gonna get on my pony and ride. *

Uh...you do realise it's 2:30 in the morning?

Your point is?

Uh...no...no point.

HEATHER: I don't know if it was the heavy drinking

or the exhaustion,

but something had shifted.

Morning, love.

What time is it?

It's early, Col.

Feels early.

Do we need a coffee?

This won't take long.

Just want to say a few things face-to-face.

OK.

Hit me.

I'm so sorry if I've...

..ever made you feel small in any way.

Because you are a magnificent father

and a kind, attentive...

(SIGHS) ..beautiful man.

Heath, I've just woken up.

Shut up. Just...let me get this out.

Thank you...

..for being there for our sons.

For hearing them and... and...and seeing them...

..when I didn't.

Go back to bed.

Oh, my God. She's early.

Good morning, Pat. Yvonne. Liz.

Everyone.

Would you like to come through to the office?

I just want to apologise to all of you.

I know I'm not the easiest person to be around,

and, uh...if I've hurt anyone's feelings

or made you uncomfortable

or just made life harder for you in any way,

then I'm genuinely sorry.

(SIGHS)

Pat.

You've been an incredible support to me over the years.

And I'm gonna miss you.

- Wha...what... - I'm gonna miss all of you.

- What are you doing? - Thank you, everyone.

For everything.

(HEATHER SIGHS)

Did you have a good night?

(SIGHS) Yeah.

I wrote myself off,

drank too much,

danced like a fool, cried like a baby and, um...

..I quit my job again.

You quit your...?

- What? When? - Just now, on the way home.

But the lowest point of the night, and... (SIGHS)

..perhaps my entire life...

..is finding out that I have truly failed my son.

What do you mean?

Timmy...

..is gender-fluid.

I don't unders... I don't understand.

All I know is that he's been trying to find himself

and...he couldn't tell me.

Because I scare the shit out of him.

- I'm basically an animal. - (SCOFFS) Oh!

Well, then so am I.

I mean, you're talking to someone

who dropped out of their kid's life for nearly two years.

You know, so...you didn't know where Timmy was for a while.

You know now.

You've always been a terrific mother to me.

I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. That one was just sitting there. I had to do it.

Heather, I'm so sorry about what I said to you.

It's fine.

I've had bigger smacks than that in the last 24 hours.

Really?

'Cause that was probably the bloody worst thing

I could have said to you.

Hey. You know I didn't mean it.

You want me to leave you alone?

I love you, Ben.

You know that?

Yeah.

Yeah, for a while now.

Still... (SIGHS)

..it feels good to hear it out loud.

I love you too.

And...

..I don't want to be a smart-arse...

..but...

..I haven't had a beer... or an oxy in 17 hours...

..and you're off your face.

(LAUGHS)

Next time onFive Bedrooms...

Evie is now officially on the waitlist

for St Alena's Ladies' College.

It would have been nice to be consulted.

I've engaged the services of my ex-husband.

- What, you prefer just blind support in silence, do you? - Yes.

Isn't that exactly what you're accusing Harry of?

You're having three-ways purely to make Xavier happy.

Liz, just because you've failed at more relationships than I have

doesn't make you any sort of expert.

- (GROANS) - You alright?

Get Heather.

Lachlan!

Lachlan Best! Lachlan!