Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,068 --> 00:00:05,703
Now for the question that I'm
famous for asking on fridays...
2
00:00:05,728 --> 00:00:07,639
What's everyone
doing this weekend?
3
00:00:07,664 --> 00:00:10,277
Me and dick are gonna go
check out this cranberry bog.
4
00:00:10,302 --> 00:00:11,746
Down in the chimdale wetlands.
5
00:00:11,771 --> 00:00:13,494
How about you, deputy director?
6
00:00:13,519 --> 00:00:16,326
Oh, I'm going to a
different cranberry bog.
7
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:21,331
Oh, nice!
8
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:23,133
Alright, men. Back to work.
9
00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:26,403
We're in the middle
of a giant mission!
10
00:00:26,427 --> 00:00:28,871
Do you have any plans
this weekend, stan?
11
00:00:28,895 --> 00:00:30,741
Hey, would you mind
asking the other guys?
12
00:00:30,765 --> 00:00:32,208
I feel like if I answer,
13
00:00:32,232 --> 00:00:34,277
I'll get trapped in a
conversation with you.
14
00:00:34,301 --> 00:00:35,746
But you're the only
one with a family,
15
00:00:35,770 --> 00:00:38,080
And families have
always fascinated me.
16
00:00:38,104 --> 00:00:40,483
Because I don't have one.
17
00:00:40,507 --> 00:00:42,953
That's a stupid reason to
be fascinated by something.
18
00:00:42,977 --> 00:00:45,888
I don't have a vagina and
I never think about those.
19
00:00:45,912 --> 00:00:47,958
Well, now I'm thinking
about them a little bit.
20
00:00:47,982 --> 00:00:50,627
Thanks a lot, weitzman. Now
I have to go home at lunch.
21
00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:51,828
Hey, wait!
22
00:00:51,852 --> 00:00:54,297
I have a coupon to take a
whole family to a buffet.
23
00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:56,432
Zoinks! Thanks, dr. Weitzman!
24
00:00:56,456 --> 00:00:57,700
Maybe I could join you guys.
25
00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,369
Oh, I couldn't ask
you to do that.
26
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:00,971
After all, you
gave us the coupon.
27
00:01:00,995 --> 00:01:02,594
You've done enough.
28
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:07,910
So how's your day going?
29
00:01:07,934 --> 00:01:10,313
Sorry. I don't like
a lot of chitchat.
30
00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:11,914
While I'm getting my nails done.
31
00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:16,386
Buckle, what's good, my man?!
32
00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:22,392
Everyone... everyone
get in the car!
33
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:24,727
Stan, you can't
just kick the door.
34
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,663
Off its hinges and scream at us.
35
00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:29,732
There's a new buffet
in town.
36
00:01:29,756 --> 00:01:33,536
And I got us a coupon
for free everything.
37
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:37,162
Everyone get in the car!
38
00:02:01,588 --> 00:02:02,588
Aah!
39
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:12,709
Hey, rog, is dad forcing
you to go to the buffet too?
40
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:14,644
What... what's that? I'm sorry.
41
00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:16,112
It's just that I am
thinking about, like,
42
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:17,848
A billion things right now.
43
00:02:17,872 --> 00:02:19,982
what were you asking me?
44
00:02:20,006 --> 00:02:23,319
I just wanted to know if you
were coming to the buffet.
45
00:02:23,343 --> 00:02:25,656
he thinks
I can go to a buffet!
46
00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:29,125
Now. In the middle
of this chaos!
47
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,327
You don't look stressed, roger.
48
00:02:31,351 --> 00:02:32,795
You're... You're
just sitting here.
49
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:34,597
Stan: Steven! Leave him!
50
00:02:34,621 --> 00:02:36,132
Maybe it looks that way.
51
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:38,068
But up here, full meltdown.
52
00:02:38,092 --> 00:02:41,604
Imagine a thousand chernobyls
and you're halfway there.
53
00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:42,472
So
54
00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:43,740
2,000 chernobyls?
55
00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:45,275
You can't put a
number on it, steve!
56
00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:47,566
It's one meltdown!
57
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:51,748
Why are we speeding?
58
00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:53,950
We just spent 45 minutes
decorating the car.
59
00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:56,419
What do I love
most about buffets?
60
00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:58,088
In a word... camaraderie.
61
00:02:58,112 --> 00:03:00,156
I thought we'd get together
and do something fun,
62
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,492
Go eat cafeteria
style, like at camp.
63
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:03,894
Camp isn't fun.
64
00:03:03,918 --> 00:03:06,829
They force you to sing
and ride horses all day.
65
00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:09,031
You chose musical horse camp.
66
00:03:09,055 --> 00:03:11,834
Oh, I thought the horses
were gonna make the music.
67
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:14,905
Well, forcing us to eat
together isn't camaraderie.
68
00:03:14,929 --> 00:03:17,574
Steve, I'm hearing
that you feel "forced."
69
00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:19,109
Could you expand on that?
70
00:03:19,133 --> 00:03:22,245
I guess these handcuffs give
me that "forced" feeling.
71
00:03:22,269 --> 00:03:23,646
The feelings you're feeling.
72
00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:25,848
Are very natural
family time feelings.
73
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:29,241
Would anyone like to know
how I feel about buffets?
74
00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:36,782
This long silence has
got to be tough for you.
75
00:03:40,354 --> 00:03:42,064
Make way! Coupon holder!
76
00:03:42,088 --> 00:03:44,735
Man with a coupon
coming through!
77
00:03:44,759 --> 00:03:47,337
welcome to
the king's choice buffet.
78
00:03:48,695 --> 00:03:50,140
When you're royalty,
you're here.
79
00:03:50,164 --> 00:03:52,275
The vip section is
located in the back.
80
00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:53,476
Here's your wristbands.
81
00:03:53,500 --> 00:03:55,478
Ew.
82
00:03:55,502 --> 00:03:59,549
It's a little weird that this
buffet has a vip section, right?
83
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,083
You wanna hear something weird?
84
00:04:01,107 --> 00:04:03,486
The goodyear blimp
is the official bird.
85
00:04:03,510 --> 00:04:05,221
Of redondo beach, california.
86
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:08,358
Oh, you guys wanna hear
something really weird?
87
00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:11,294
Zerp znap za-noodle!
88
00:04:11,318 --> 00:04:12,695
Sit yo ass down.
89
00:04:12,719 --> 00:04:15,365
You need to hear my patented
rules of the buffet.
90
00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:22,639
Rule one... there are no rules.
91
00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:24,040
Wowwww.
92
00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:26,909
Rule two... Never
fill up on bread.
93
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:29,179
Rule three... Plates
are for losers.
94
00:04:29,203 --> 00:04:30,781
Cut out the middleman
and pile your food.
95
00:04:30,805 --> 00:04:32,382
Directly onto your tray.
96
00:04:32,406 --> 00:04:33,583
Rules 4 through 100.
97
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,786
Only apply to buffets
at strip clubs.
98
00:04:35,810 --> 00:04:38,789
And most important, rule 101...
99
00:04:38,813 --> 00:04:42,525
You can never have a
bad time at the buffet.
100
00:04:42,549 --> 00:04:45,996
Cold melon and scallop soup?
101
00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:50,000
Uhhh, I'll take nasty-ass
soups for $200, alex.
102
00:04:53,027 --> 00:04:54,404
Survey says...
103
00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:56,072
I have to smell it!
104
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,876
Ugh! Aah!
105
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:02,345
I'd like to solve
the puzzle, pat.
106
00:05:02,369 --> 00:05:06,149
This. Is. A. Disaster.
107
00:05:11,846 --> 00:05:13,623
I thought a walk
would clear my head.
108
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:16,426
But I'm just getting
more stressed out!
109
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:18,361
Look at those flowers.
110
00:05:18,385 --> 00:05:19,962
Not a care in the world.
111
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:22,765
Sitting around
eating bees all day.
112
00:05:22,789 --> 00:05:23,834
Do I dare?
113
00:05:23,858 --> 00:05:25,301
No, no, you're
being silly, roger,
114
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,637
With all the irons
you have in the fire.
115
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:28,971
But on the other hand
116
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:32,575
ahhh,
meltdown averted.
117
00:05:38,072 --> 00:05:40,917
Yuck, I don't like the
taste, but I'm a flower,
118
00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:43,253
So I gotta get used
to eating bees.
119
00:05:45,746 --> 00:05:48,591
Can we leave now?
The place is closing.
120
00:05:48,615 --> 00:05:52,262
Not until we get the special
vip dessert we were promised.
121
00:05:52,286 --> 00:05:53,396
What the...
122
00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:55,732
Man:
welcome, smith family.
123
00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:58,669
I'm so glad you
joined us for dinner,
124
00:05:58,693 --> 00:06:01,137
But your time here is just
125
00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:02,739
oh!
126
00:06:02,763 --> 00:06:04,474
Okay, who left this cart out?
127
00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,809
Oh, I just bashed my shin!
128
00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:08,545
Oh, turn on the lights!
129
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:10,813
Man: Not those lights!
130
00:06:10,837 --> 00:06:13,105
Why would I want
the disco lights?!
131
00:06:14,441 --> 00:06:16,286
Together: Dr. Weitzman?!
132
00:06:16,310 --> 00:06:18,488
That's right! Oh, sorry.
133
00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:20,022
my
evil genius voice.
134
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,624
Sounded cool, though, right?
135
00:06:21,648 --> 00:06:23,560
Sorry about my real voice.
136
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:25,551
I'm making you my family!
137
00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:29,432
What is happening?!
138
00:06:29,456 --> 00:06:31,834
Geez, hayley, are you dense?
139
00:06:31,858 --> 00:06:34,504
Dr. Weitzman is a lonely person.
140
00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:35,906
He wants a family.
141
00:06:35,930 --> 00:06:39,175
He's gonna force us to live
with him forever in accordance.
142
00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:42,713
To whatever his demented
idea of a "family" is.
143
00:06:42,737 --> 00:06:45,381
I'm assuming these
vip wristbands.
144
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:46,849
Are rigged with explosives.
145
00:06:46,873 --> 00:06:49,119
And we've been drugged
with a neurotoxin.
146
00:06:49,143 --> 00:06:52,989
To temporarily paralyze... Us.
147
00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:56,192
I don't know if I'd call
my ideas "demented."
148
00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:59,818
Plus I wanted to be the one
to say all my demented shit.
149
00:07:08,395 --> 00:07:11,296
Home sweet home.
150
00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:15,245
Stan, are you okay? Okay?
151
00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:17,313
I'm having a blast! You are?
152
00:07:17,337 --> 00:07:18,781
Of course!
153
00:07:18,805 --> 00:07:21,384
Rule 101... you can't have
a bad time at the buffet.
154
00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:25,455
Huh. That's an interesting way
of looking at things, honey.
155
00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:27,057
Excuse me, ma'am.
156
00:07:27,081 --> 00:07:28,725
My sheets are a little tight.
157
00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:30,593
Oh, no, are they a little tight?
158
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,663
They're supposed
to be very tight.
159
00:07:32,687 --> 00:07:35,798
What about all the other
people at the restaurant?
160
00:07:35,822 --> 00:07:37,133
Were they... background actors.
161
00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:38,935
They actually were all extras.
162
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,470
From the "marvelous
mrs. Maisel" set.
163
00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:42,539
Great show. Getting
worse every year.
164
00:07:42,563 --> 00:07:45,275
Can you help us get
out of here? No.
165
00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:47,210
What kind of person are you?
166
00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:49,546
I'm not a person. I'm a robot.
167
00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:52,148
Dr. Weitzman made me.
168
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:53,216
And then he named
me after a stripper.
169
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,617
He once fell in love with.
170
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:57,687
Okay, put your face
back on, chardonnay.
171
00:07:57,711 --> 00:07:59,089
No one likes when you do that.
172
00:07:59,113 --> 00:08:01,023
Oh, god, are you two...
173
00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:02,225
I wish!
174
00:08:02,249 --> 00:08:04,094
No, my hostess robot
became sentient,
175
00:08:04,118 --> 00:08:07,564
And as per usual I'm stuck
in the "friend zone."
176
00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:11,501
Okay, it's nigh-nighs,
my sweet family.
177
00:08:36,751 --> 00:08:40,196
Roger: ahhh,
this is the life. No stress.
178
00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:44,123
Just eating bees, not thinking
a million miles an hour.
179
00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:49,272
I wonder why bees aren't
more afraid of flowers.
180
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:53,543
Oh, no.
181
00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:54,945
Let's go!
182
00:08:54,969 --> 00:08:58,281
Steal as many flowers
as you can for the shop!
183
00:08:58,305 --> 00:09:00,305
I don't like this one bit.
184
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,020
What's that thing?
185
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,757
I thought it was a flower,
but I'm not so sure now.
186
00:09:06,781 --> 00:09:09,292
Check out its nasty root bulb.
187
00:09:09,316 --> 00:09:12,495
It looks like a gross, gray ass.
188
00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:14,164
Eh, let's put it in the van.
189
00:09:14,188 --> 00:09:15,632
Maybe some freak will like it.
190
00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:21,772
And now to the cemetery
for more free flowers!
191
00:09:21,796 --> 00:09:24,129
Roger:
this is so stressful.
192
00:09:27,802 --> 00:09:30,113
Dr. Weitzman
must've woken me up.
193
00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:33,716
Seven times last night walking
to the bathroom to pee.
194
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:37,387
If you ask me, he should spend
less time imprisoning families.
195
00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:39,722
And more time
imprisoning urologists.
196
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:40,857
But counterpoint...
197
00:09:40,881 --> 00:09:42,192
What a great night!
198
00:09:42,216 --> 00:09:43,460
I mean, when was the last time.
199
00:09:43,484 --> 00:09:45,528
We all slept together
in the same room?
200
00:09:45,552 --> 00:09:47,397
Obviously I'm not
counting our annual trip.
201
00:09:47,421 --> 00:09:49,399
To the gathering
of the juggalos.
202
00:09:49,423 --> 00:09:51,334
Good morning, my
beautiful children.
203
00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:53,203
Can you please let us go?!
204
00:09:53,227 --> 00:09:55,605
There must be some
humanity inside you!
205
00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:58,141
Sounds like you guys are hangry.
206
00:09:58,165 --> 00:09:59,609
Who wants monte cristos?
207
00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:01,944
Stan: The american riff
on a croque monsieur?!
208
00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:03,279
Sign me up!
209
00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:05,816
Now, two simple rules here
in the weitzman home...
210
00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:07,884
I'm in control of everything,
211
00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:12,355
And that door over
there is off limits.
212
00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:14,891
I think that
door might be significant.
213
00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:16,226
Yeah, no shit.
214
00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:17,293
Dr. Weitzman...
215
00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:18,895
Call me dad. No.
216
00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:20,430
Uncle? That's worse.
217
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:23,299
Dr. Weitzman, why
are you doing this?
218
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:25,168
Great question, franny.
219
00:10:25,192 --> 00:10:27,838
Chardonnay, roll tape
and do it like...
220
00:10:27,862 --> 00:10:29,372
Christoph waltz.
221
00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:32,598
Waltz's voice: Christoph
waltz mode initiated.
222
00:10:35,870 --> 00:10:40,517
No one knows when or where
dr. Weitzman was born.
223
00:10:40,541 --> 00:10:44,054
He was abandoned as a baby
in the lanceton sewers,
224
00:10:44,078 --> 00:10:48,791
Where even the rats
refused to be his family.
225
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:51,394
Dr. Weitzman's adolescence.
226
00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:54,797
Was spent in and
out of orphanages.
227
00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:58,801
He briefly appeared on
"the mickey mouse club".
228
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:03,206
Until he caught the attention of
the show's legendary producer.
229
00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:05,141
And was quickly removed.
230
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:08,478
Then back to his sewers
for doctor school.
231
00:11:08,502 --> 00:11:13,550
But even after becoming a
successful c.I.A. Doctor,
232
00:11:13,574 --> 00:11:16,219
He could never find
the right woman.
233
00:11:16,243 --> 00:11:19,422
So he was never able
to start the family.
234
00:11:19,446 --> 00:11:21,357
He dreamt of his whole life.
235
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:23,626
And adoption was
out of the question.
236
00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:28,565
Because obviously his
appearance terrifies children...
237
00:11:28,589 --> 00:11:31,023
Chardonnay, did I sign
off on this artwork?
238
00:11:33,327 --> 00:11:35,105
We're screwed.
239
00:11:35,129 --> 00:11:36,773
You know how stubborn dad is.
240
00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:39,842
He'll never admit you can
have a bad time at the buffet.
241
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:40,911
You're right.
242
00:11:40,935 --> 00:11:43,435
If we're getting out
of here, it's up to us.
243
00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:47,850
I did it.
244
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:50,721
I ate all that disgusting soup.
245
00:11:50,745 --> 00:11:52,311
And now to...
246
00:11:52,947 --> 00:11:54,713
Well, shit.
247
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,662
Come on, that door
has to be the exit!
248
00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:06,269
oh, you goofy kids!
249
00:12:06,293 --> 00:12:07,804
Always playing pranks.
250
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:10,072
I think you all
will love it here.
251
00:12:10,096 --> 00:12:11,742
The days are gonna fly by.
252
00:12:11,766 --> 00:12:14,733
If you don't believe me,
check out this montage.
253
00:12:49,135 --> 00:12:51,047
"who framed roger rabbit"!
254
00:12:56,410 --> 00:12:58,388
Okay, gang, just
checked the time.
255
00:12:58,412 --> 00:13:00,457
And it's "rock" o'clock.
256
00:13:00,481 --> 00:13:02,793
Be right back with the acoustic.
257
00:13:02,817 --> 00:13:04,260
I can't do it.
258
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:05,796
I can't listen to him play.
259
00:13:05,820 --> 00:13:08,198
Another death cab
for cutie song.
260
00:13:08,222 --> 00:13:10,600
I guess some of them are
technically postal service.
261
00:13:10,624 --> 00:13:13,003
I've been trying to
smile through all this,
262
00:13:13,027 --> 00:13:14,204
'cause rules are rules.
263
00:13:14,228 --> 00:13:15,938
But some rules
are meant to be...
264
00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:16,939
Broken?
265
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:18,675
To a crisp.
266
00:13:18,699 --> 00:13:20,076
I have a plan.
267
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:24,080
Everybody sneak a monte cristo
sandwich into bed tonight.
268
00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:26,016
This plan sounds delicious, dad.
269
00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:28,140
Don't be cute, steve.
270
00:13:29,510 --> 00:13:31,221
dad!
271
00:13:31,245 --> 00:13:33,089
We all brought
sandwiches to bed.
272
00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:34,157
What's the plan?
273
00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:35,826
Five minutes, son.
274
00:13:35,850 --> 00:13:37,093
Stan!
275
00:13:37,117 --> 00:13:39,362
Chumbawumba! Okay.
276
00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:40,763
Everything we need
for our escape.
277
00:13:40,787 --> 00:13:43,233
Is right here in the
monte cristo sandwich.
278
00:13:43,257 --> 00:13:45,836
I'll remove it from the
baggie and just lightly touch.
279
00:13:45,860 --> 00:13:48,460
The grease-soaked
bread to the sheets.
280
00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:52,398
Wow. And gross.
281
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,870
Next we use the jam.
282
00:14:02,076 --> 00:14:04,187
Wow, that's strong
jam.
283
00:14:04,211 --> 00:14:07,312
I think I just figured out
why I almost died of diarrhea.
284
00:14:08,482 --> 00:14:11,261
Wait. It's powdered sugar time.
285
00:14:15,556 --> 00:14:18,390
We're not going this way,
but it looks cool, right?
286
00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:22,004
Wait, we should grab klaus!
287
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:23,606
There's no time!
288
00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:27,277
Next, everyone take the ham out
of your sandwich and eat it.
289
00:14:27,301 --> 00:14:29,412
It's the perfect
protein-rich snack.
290
00:14:29,436 --> 00:14:31,548
To keep our motors humming.
291
00:14:31,572 --> 00:14:33,283
Klaus: Is anyone there?!
292
00:14:33,307 --> 00:14:36,086
It sounds like four
people eating ham!
293
00:14:36,110 --> 00:14:37,743
Good ham.
294
00:14:41,448 --> 00:14:44,094
Oh, man, the forbidden
door is locked!
295
00:14:44,118 --> 00:14:48,431
Luckily, the "giving sandwich"
has one last thing to give.
296
00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:49,688
The bread.
297
00:14:54,528 --> 00:14:56,907
This isn't an exit.
298
00:14:56,931 --> 00:14:58,641
It's a graveyard.
299
00:14:58,665 --> 00:15:00,577
Look at the way they're grouped.
300
00:15:00,601 --> 00:15:04,636
I think they're...
Other families.
301
00:15:05,806 --> 00:15:07,850
Yes, there are a
lot of dead bodies,
302
00:15:07,874 --> 00:15:09,586
But at least it's
not a gift shop.
303
00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:11,454
I hate crass commercialism.
304
00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:13,456
But the skeletons are for sale.
305
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:14,657
I make keychains!
306
00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:16,793
Perfect for a gas
station bathroom!
307
00:15:16,817 --> 00:15:18,595
Do you have any gas
station owner friends.
308
00:15:18,619 --> 00:15:20,786
Who have a birthday coming up?
309
00:15:24,425 --> 00:15:28,338
You killed all those families?
310
00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:31,407
What? No, they
killed themselves.
311
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:33,009
On average, most
offed themselves.
312
00:15:33,033 --> 00:15:35,278
After living with
dr. Weitzman for three days.
313
00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:37,347
Though the current record
is the shelmerdines,
314
00:15:37,371 --> 00:15:39,415
Who only lasted 45 minutes.
315
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:40,883
That hurt my feelings.
316
00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:44,154
But you guys really hurt my
feelings trying to escape.
317
00:15:44,178 --> 00:15:45,888
I thought you loved me.
318
00:15:45,912 --> 00:15:47,890
Wait, the other families
killed themselves.
319
00:15:47,914 --> 00:15:49,225
Without trying to escape?
320
00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:52,095
Well, it was before my
online guitar lessons.
321
00:15:52,119 --> 00:15:54,897
before
I got really good.
322
00:15:54,921 --> 00:15:56,032
You suck at guitar.
323
00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:57,968
Yeah, man, you suck at guitar.
324
00:15:59,926 --> 00:16:02,572
Keep it up, guys. I
think this is working.
325
00:16:02,596 --> 00:16:03,906
Keep mocking him.
326
00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:05,508
You have long,
beautiful eyelashes.
327
00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:06,909
No, honey!
328
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:10,180
Aaand you always cuff
your sleeves like cam.
329
00:16:10,204 --> 00:16:12,382
From "modern family."
330
00:16:12,406 --> 00:16:14,584
That's not good?
331
00:16:14,608 --> 00:16:16,453
Wizard alert!
332
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:18,789
Get out!
333
00:16:18,813 --> 00:16:21,724
Get out!
334
00:16:21,748 --> 00:16:23,994
How'd you know he'd let us go?
335
00:16:24,018 --> 00:16:25,862
Actually I was sure
he was gonna kill us,
336
00:16:25,886 --> 00:16:28,799
So I just wanted to
get it over with.
337
00:16:31,025 --> 00:16:33,536
I can't believe it. We're home!
338
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,472
There you all are!
339
00:16:35,496 --> 00:16:36,939
You're good hiders!
340
00:16:36,963 --> 00:16:38,608
I've been looking for months.
341
00:16:38,632 --> 00:16:40,811
Jeff, did you think
we were playing.
342
00:16:40,835 --> 00:16:42,145
Hide and seek this whole time?
343
00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:45,348
In September I doubted
it for a second.
344
00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:47,818
But then I found this clue.
345
00:16:47,842 --> 00:16:50,153
So I took apart
the water heater,
346
00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:51,688
But you guys weren't in there.
347
00:16:51,712 --> 00:16:53,756
There certainly was
a smell, though.
348
00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:56,026
And a lot of scalding water.
349
00:16:56,050 --> 00:16:58,628
And you guys stayed
true to the game.
350
00:16:58,652 --> 00:17:02,298
When I screamed in agony
for help, you stayed hidden.
351
00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:05,502
And you didn't visit
me in the burn ward.
352
00:17:05,526 --> 00:17:08,104
I can't tell you how
much I respect that.
353
00:17:08,128 --> 00:17:12,442
And now the game is over
and I don't know why.
354
00:17:12,466 --> 00:17:15,045
I guess I can return to my life.
355
00:17:15,069 --> 00:17:17,169
Right back in.
356
00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:19,782
Hi.
357
00:17:24,078 --> 00:17:26,256
- Flower delivery!
- Whoo!
358
00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:28,725
Smells like dead
bees and cigarettes.
359
00:17:28,749 --> 00:17:30,727
It's been in the
shop for two months.
360
00:17:30,751 --> 00:17:33,996
Your sweetheart got an
unbelievable price on it.
361
00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:36,667
Adam, you got me flowers?!
362
00:17:36,691 --> 00:17:39,469
I am adam and I am guilty.
363
00:17:39,493 --> 00:17:41,604
Whoaaaa, that guy's hot.
364
00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:44,407
The dang door's
blockin' the hot body!
365
00:17:44,431 --> 00:17:46,076
I love it!
366
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:49,479
Roger: so
I'm a symbol of love.
367
00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:50,813
That's nice.
368
00:17:50,837 --> 00:17:52,349
Jenny: I can't believe
you remembered.
369
00:17:52,373 --> 00:17:54,817
That I love grotesque flowers.
370
00:17:57,644 --> 00:17:59,044
- Ooh!
- Mm.
371
00:18:01,782 --> 00:18:03,760
Stan, I'm happy to be home,
372
00:18:03,784 --> 00:18:07,697
But does something
feel... Off to you?
373
00:18:07,721 --> 00:18:09,299
There's no buffet and I hate it.
374
00:18:09,323 --> 00:18:10,767
I'm feelin' it too, dad.
375
00:18:10,791 --> 00:18:12,635
There was just so much food.
376
00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:14,637
I think that's what
I loved about it.
377
00:18:14,661 --> 00:18:17,640
Sounds crazy, but
maybe we're all...
378
00:18:17,664 --> 00:18:19,242
Steve: Concerned
about jeff? Me too.
379
00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:21,377
I think there's something
really wrong there.
380
00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:23,846
He's not, like, fun
stupid, ya know.
381
00:18:23,870 --> 00:18:25,982
I worry hayley might
be committing a crime.
382
00:18:26,006 --> 00:18:27,183
Being married to him.
383
00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:28,851
Maybe we meet with the lawyer,
384
00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:30,653
Get on record what
we knew when...
385
00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:31,788
We're talking about the buffet.
386
00:18:31,812 --> 00:18:33,523
Oh, my god, the buffet!
387
00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:35,057
I miss the buffet!
388
00:18:35,081 --> 00:18:37,127
We all do! We gotta go back!
389
00:18:37,151 --> 00:18:39,195
Maybe we just have
stockholm syndrome?
390
00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:43,466
If that means overwhelming
desire to break into a buffet,
391
00:18:43,490 --> 00:18:46,202
Then I got the stock, homes.
392
00:18:54,969 --> 00:18:57,614
And now for dessert.
393
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:05,422
Roger:
they're so in love.
394
00:19:05,446 --> 00:19:07,624
And I'm so relaxed.
395
00:19:07,648 --> 00:19:09,225
get off me!
396
00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:10,026
He's home early!
397
00:19:10,050 --> 00:19:11,561
Now, who the hell is this?
398
00:19:11,585 --> 00:19:12,829
Man: Jennifer, what's going on?
399
00:19:12,853 --> 00:19:14,030
What is that hideous flower?
400
00:19:14,054 --> 00:19:16,166
Your wife happens to
love hideous flowers!
401
00:19:16,190 --> 00:19:19,836
my best friend
and business partner!
402
00:19:19,860 --> 00:19:21,838
Oh, my jangled nerves!
403
00:19:23,130 --> 00:19:25,175
Oh, good, they're
all gun owners.
404
00:19:25,199 --> 00:19:26,777
This should de-escalate quickly.
405
00:19:29,736 --> 00:19:31,581
That's a tip for
everyone at home...
406
00:19:31,605 --> 00:19:34,717
No one ever shoots the flower.
407
00:19:37,411 --> 00:19:40,390
Dr. Weitzman is never
gonna let us back in.
408
00:19:40,414 --> 00:19:41,391
Remember how we used.
409
00:19:41,415 --> 00:19:43,860
The monte cristo
sandwich to get out?
410
00:19:43,884 --> 00:19:45,996
Here's a sandwich
to help us get in...
411
00:19:46,020 --> 00:19:48,253
A c-4 sandwich.
412
00:19:49,490 --> 00:19:51,668
There are also some tuna
sandwiches in the bag.
413
00:19:51,692 --> 00:19:53,625
In case anyone wants to scarf.
414
00:19:54,829 --> 00:19:57,830
Wait, this is the c-4 sandwich.
415
00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:04,147
Wait a second. That
means the tuna...
416
00:20:04,171 --> 00:20:06,549
Stan, did you buy
the cheap tuna again?
417
00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:08,819
No! It was me!
418
00:20:08,843 --> 00:20:10,487
You bought the cheap tuna?
419
00:20:10,511 --> 00:20:13,890
No, I blew up the
wall from the inside.
420
00:20:13,914 --> 00:20:16,226
What a twist! Why?
421
00:20:16,250 --> 00:20:18,961
Because my family
came back to me.
422
00:20:18,985 --> 00:20:20,563
I'm just so excited!
423
00:20:20,587 --> 00:20:21,832
This guy's not cool.
424
00:20:21,856 --> 00:20:23,966
I'm starting to think
this was a mistake.
425
00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:26,636
No, no, no, no, let
me get my guitar!
426
00:20:26,660 --> 00:20:28,260
And some legos!
427
00:20:31,532 --> 00:20:33,844
You guys came to rescue me!
428
00:20:33,868 --> 00:20:35,578
Yes. Yes, we did.
429
00:20:35,602 --> 00:20:38,048
Let's not be here when
dr. Weitzman comes back.
430
00:20:38,072 --> 00:20:39,782
But the buffet!
431
00:20:39,806 --> 00:20:41,984
I still want a dried-out
piece of dover sole.
432
00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:43,920
And a sweaty sweet potato pie.
433
00:20:43,944 --> 00:20:47,057
I guess we could try the
buffet across the street.
434
00:20:47,081 --> 00:20:49,860
Hayley: "smiths eat free"?
435
00:20:49,884 --> 00:20:51,383
I like that price.
436
00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:52,929
Come on in!
437
00:20:52,953 --> 00:20:54,597
Leave whenever you like!
438
00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:56,533
I'm not lonely!
439
00:20:56,557 --> 00:20:58,257
Bye-bye! See you soon!
31544
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof