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00:00:05,719 --> 00:00:08,848
- ♪ I'll have a blue ♪
- [WOMEN CACKLING]
2
00:00:09,350 --> 00:00:11,809
♪ Christmas ♪
3
00:00:12,136 --> 00:00:15,187
♪ Without you ♪
4
00:00:15,562 --> 00:00:19,150
♪ I'll be so blue ♪
5
00:00:19,191 --> 00:00:22,089
♪ Just thinking ♪
6
00:00:22,141 --> 00:00:23,581
- ♪ About you... ♪
- [BOTH PANTING]
7
00:00:25,488 --> 00:00:26,703
We are fucked.
8
00:00:26,728 --> 00:00:30,116
- Very, very fucked.
- Mmm. We'll be walking like cowboys
9
00:00:30,141 --> 00:00:32,214
for a week. That's how fucked we are.
10
00:00:32,239 --> 00:00:34,575
We're so fucked, fucked people
will point at us and say,
11
00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:37,378
"At least we're not as fucked
as those fucking fucks."
12
00:00:37,500 --> 00:00:38,960
[LAUGHS]
13
00:00:39,843 --> 00:00:41,694
- What the hell happened?
- I don't know.
14
00:00:41,719 --> 00:00:43,387
- We had a plan.
- A good plan.
15
00:00:43,412 --> 00:00:45,126
- You had a tight ten.
- Yes, I know.
16
00:00:45,151 --> 00:00:46,698
- You were gonna start with the...
- And then I'd,
17
00:00:46,723 --> 00:00:48,746
- with the kid thing...
- And then your...
18
00:00:48,919 --> 00:00:51,069
- those people that had you...
- My parents.
19
00:00:51,094 --> 00:00:53,388
- Yeah, the thing with their...
- That was so funny.
20
00:00:53,413 --> 00:00:55,498
Ugh. Nice, tight ten.
21
00:00:56,130 --> 00:00:57,383
An airtight ten.
22
00:00:57,438 --> 00:00:58,903
♪ That's when those blue... ♪
23
00:00:59,001 --> 00:01:00,756
Hey, the glass is empty.
24
00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:02,255
Just depends on how you look at it.
25
00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:04,614
I'm looking at it with my eyes.
It's fucking empty.
26
00:01:04,688 --> 00:01:07,566
Hey! My friend's glass is empty.
27
00:01:07,591 --> 00:01:08,789
Fuckin' empty.
28
00:01:08,814 --> 00:01:10,524
Make it full. We had a hard night.
29
00:01:10,549 --> 00:01:12,801
- Hey, we're fucked.
- BARTENDER: Eh, keep your shirt on.
30
00:01:12,850 --> 00:01:14,725
Hi, Susie. New hat?
31
00:01:14,812 --> 00:01:16,962
I don't have any money, Tracy.
32
00:01:17,010 --> 00:01:19,041
Rats. Hey, I saw you.
33
00:01:19,066 --> 00:01:21,277
- Saw me what?
- I saw you tonight. Wow, wild.
34
00:01:21,302 --> 00:01:23,287
Do you mind, Tracy?
We're having a funeral here.
35
00:01:23,312 --> 00:01:25,599
Relax, Susie.
I just wanted to say I dug you.
36
00:01:25,732 --> 00:01:27,892
- Truly.
- Thank you.
37
00:01:27,987 --> 00:01:29,171
Susie, you got five bucks?
38
00:01:29,196 --> 00:01:31,157
No. What did I tell you? I got nothing.
39
00:01:31,182 --> 00:01:32,826
As of tonight, I got nothing,
40
00:01:32,851 --> 00:01:34,853
I have nowhere to go, and no one to be.
41
00:01:34,878 --> 00:01:36,213
Okay. What about you?
42
00:01:36,264 --> 00:01:38,613
She's a loser, too. Beat it.
43
00:01:39,490 --> 00:01:41,448
Glad you enjoyed the show.
44
00:01:41,473 --> 00:01:42,598
Last one.
45
00:01:42,623 --> 00:01:44,342
Yeah, just try it.
46
00:01:47,547 --> 00:01:49,257
"You're dead in this business."
47
00:01:49,457 --> 00:01:52,127
It plays over and over in my head.
48
00:01:52,181 --> 00:01:55,139
- Maybe he didn't mean it.
- Mmm. He meant it.
49
00:01:55,197 --> 00:01:57,286
He bared his teeth. I didn't
even know he still had teeth.
50
00:01:57,313 --> 00:01:59,797
- Could've been false teeth.
- They looked real.
51
00:01:59,822 --> 00:02:01,740
Aw, shit, we were so close.
52
00:02:01,765 --> 00:02:03,100
I'm sorry.
53
00:02:03,125 --> 00:02:05,934
"Fuck you, Sophie,
put that on your plate."
54
00:02:06,188 --> 00:02:07,565
It's brilliant.
55
00:02:07,614 --> 00:02:10,633
♪ You'll be doin' all right... ♪
56
00:02:10,740 --> 00:02:12,284
It was funny, right?
57
00:02:12,309 --> 00:02:14,523
Yeah. It was really funny.
58
00:02:14,908 --> 00:02:16,576
♪ Christmas of white ♪
59
00:02:16,659 --> 00:02:18,911
And no one needs a good laugh
60
00:02:19,085 --> 00:02:21,916
like the truly, deeply fucked.
61
00:02:22,190 --> 00:02:24,484
♪ Blue, blue, blue Christmas ♪
62
00:02:24,599 --> 00:02:27,561
♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh. ♪
63
00:02:28,229 --> 00:02:30,565
[SNORING]
64
00:02:31,398 --> 00:02:32,895
Get up.
65
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:35,322
- Oh, boy.
- I just had a thrilling conversation
66
00:02:35,347 --> 00:02:36,741
with that strange person
67
00:02:36,766 --> 00:02:39,394
who can't figure out what her name is.
68
00:02:39,866 --> 00:02:42,618
Make a new friend.
I'm tired of this one.
69
00:02:42,643 --> 00:02:43,848
[SIGHS]
70
00:02:43,873 --> 00:02:45,336
Miriam!
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00:02:45,390 --> 00:02:47,392
Coming.
72
00:02:50,342 --> 00:02:52,177
Breakfast is being served
in the dining room
73
00:02:52,202 --> 00:02:54,675
- when you're done with your call.
- Okay.
74
00:02:58,501 --> 00:03:00,005
Hold on.
75
00:03:12,644 --> 00:03:13,744
Your fault.
76
00:03:13,769 --> 00:03:15,771
- What's my fault?
- Too much drinking.
77
00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:17,615
Too much drinking
was because of you, missy.
78
00:03:17,640 --> 00:03:21,216
- I don't feel good.
- Ugh. I had to sleep on a diagonal,
79
00:03:21,241 --> 00:03:22,894
'cause the vertical
made me want to throw up.
80
00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:24,671
- Don't throw up.
- I might throw up.
81
00:03:24,696 --> 00:03:26,536
- You can't throw up.
- I'll probably throw up.
82
00:03:26,561 --> 00:03:28,241
If I hear you throw up,
I'm gonna throw up,
83
00:03:28,266 --> 00:03:30,409
and I don't want to throw up,
so close the door.
84
00:03:30,434 --> 00:03:32,228
- Close what door?
- The bathroom door.
85
00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:34,631
- I don't have a bathroom door.
- Then you can't throw up.
86
00:03:34,656 --> 00:03:36,115
- I'm not gonna throw up.
- Good.
87
00:03:36,140 --> 00:03:38,119
Although you might when you hear this.
88
00:03:38,521 --> 00:03:40,131
- Hear what?
- Well, apparently,
89
00:03:40,156 --> 00:03:42,241
there were some members
of the press there last night.
90
00:03:42,266 --> 00:03:44,059
- No...
- And a few of them caught your act
91
00:03:44,084 --> 00:03:45,160
and thought...
92
00:03:45,185 --> 00:03:47,271
- No...
- "A career suicide set
93
00:03:47,296 --> 00:03:48,854
takes down an icon."
94
00:03:49,340 --> 00:03:52,802
"Newcomer Amanda Gleason,
don't bother learning the name,"
95
00:03:52,827 --> 00:03:56,121
"mysteriously decides to skewer
an American treasure,"
96
00:03:56,146 --> 00:03:58,858
"Sophie Lennon, last night
at the Gaslight Cafe."
97
00:03:58,945 --> 00:04:00,219
Who invited them?
98
00:04:00,244 --> 00:04:01,750
- I did.
- Why?
99
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:04,403
'Cause I had no idea it was
seppuku night at the Gaslight.
100
00:04:04,428 --> 00:04:06,535
"In a vicious, often hilarious,
101
00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:08,636
"career-ending ten minutes, you wonder,
102
00:04:08,661 --> 00:04:12,206
"did Lennon steal Gleason's
boyfriend?" The Daily News.
103
00:04:12,231 --> 00:04:13,524
Well, he said "hilarious."
104
00:04:13,549 --> 00:04:15,589
Did you hear all the other words
around "hilarious"?
105
00:04:15,614 --> 00:04:16,928
- I did, but still...
- The Post.
106
00:04:17,351 --> 00:04:18,800
"Put that on your plate."
107
00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:21,090
- So?
- So, underneath, there's a picture
108
00:04:21,115 --> 00:04:23,485
of your head on a plate
and there's a fork in your head.
109
00:04:23,510 --> 00:04:24,946
- My picture?
- Well, it's fuzzy,
110
00:04:24,971 --> 00:04:27,031
but they put the words
"Amanda Gleason's head"
111
00:04:27,056 --> 00:04:28,970
underneath to help with any confusion.
112
00:04:28,995 --> 00:04:29,996
Did they say I was funny?
113
00:04:30,021 --> 00:04:31,455
Are you at all getting the theme here?
114
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,020
- Yes, but...
- The Mirror. "The tradition of honor"
115
00:04:34,045 --> 00:04:36,407
"amongst thieves was tossed
out the window last night
116
00:04:36,432 --> 00:04:39,727
"by Amanda Gleason,
whose ridiculously bland name
117
00:04:39,752 --> 00:04:42,588
"is in direct contrast
with the comedienne's crass,
118
00:04:42,613 --> 00:04:46,242
crude, sharp-witted attack of
homespun hero Sophie Lennon."
119
00:04:46,267 --> 00:04:47,599
Okay, but they did say I was...
120
00:04:47,624 --> 00:04:49,162
"It reminds you of the power
121
00:04:49,187 --> 00:04:51,819
of words to build up and destroy."
122
00:04:51,844 --> 00:04:53,190
"Hope she has a lawyer.
123
00:04:53,215 --> 00:04:56,093
I sense a slander charge
in her stocking for Christmas."
124
00:04:56,118 --> 00:04:57,604
I'm Jewish, shmuck.
125
00:04:57,629 --> 00:04:58,755
Yeah.
126
00:04:58,780 --> 00:05:00,158
There's a lot of Gleasons
in the ghetto.
127
00:05:00,183 --> 00:05:01,445
What do we do now?
128
00:05:01,962 --> 00:05:04,271
[SIGHS] Well...
129
00:05:04,770 --> 00:05:06,896
we still have those two
shit gigs I got you
130
00:05:06,921 --> 00:05:08,423
before this mess happened.
131
00:05:08,448 --> 00:05:10,409
So, you do those gigs.
132
00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:12,399
If you do well, you'll get
two more shit gigs.
133
00:05:12,424 --> 00:05:15,450
And then those two shit gigs
become four shit gigs.
134
00:05:15,782 --> 00:05:18,982
And then four shit gigs
become six shit gigs.
135
00:05:19,216 --> 00:05:21,892
[GAGGING]: And then...
136
00:05:22,340 --> 00:05:23,958
Susie?
137
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,079
Susie? Are you there?
138
00:05:28,114 --> 00:05:29,596
[SIGHS] Sorry. I had to throw up.
139
00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:32,740
- Where was I?
- Four shit gigs became six shit gigs.
140
00:05:32,765 --> 00:05:35,601
Yes. Eventually, people will
forget what happened,
141
00:05:35,626 --> 00:05:37,890
- and we'll rebuild.
- Okay, I have to go.
142
00:05:37,915 --> 00:05:40,000
I have my son's birthday party today.
143
00:05:40,025 --> 00:05:42,024
Ah, see, you already got
another shit gig.
144
00:05:42,049 --> 00:05:44,157
- Bye.
- Mm.
145
00:05:45,748 --> 00:05:47,041
[SIGHS]
146
00:05:47,089 --> 00:05:48,538
♪ ♪
147
00:05:48,563 --> 00:05:50,107
NEWSCASTER: There have been
major internal discussions
148
00:05:50,132 --> 00:05:53,291
in nine additional countries
outside the Iron Curtain.
149
00:05:53,316 --> 00:05:56,680
Now, how do they go about
applying this political message?
150
00:05:56,705 --> 00:05:58,707
That it embraces many different aspects
151
00:05:58,732 --> 00:06:00,150
of our day-to-day living.
152
00:06:00,336 --> 00:06:03,798
- [NEWS BROADCAST CONTINUES]
- [MIDGE SIGHS]
153
00:06:04,385 --> 00:06:08,765
[WOMAN SINGING IN FOREIGN
LANGUAGE OVER RADIO]
154
00:06:09,313 --> 00:06:10,664
[WOMAN SINGING LOUDLY]
155
00:06:10,689 --> 00:06:12,741
...I would like to say this:
Confidence, by itself...
156
00:06:12,766 --> 00:06:13,923
Morning, Papa.
157
00:06:13,948 --> 00:06:15,363
Mm-hmm.
158
00:06:16,328 --> 00:06:19,512
Victory in this conflict
depends on much, much more...
159
00:06:19,606 --> 00:06:20,657
Morning, Mama.
160
00:06:20,682 --> 00:06:22,780
There's eggs. We leave at noon.
161
00:06:23,031 --> 00:06:26,728
[WOMAN CONTINUES SINGING LOUDLY
ON RADIO]
162
00:06:27,237 --> 00:06:29,034
This was all different
yesterday, right?
163
00:06:29,059 --> 00:06:31,367
- Hmm?
- Never mind.
164
00:06:31,765 --> 00:06:34,643
And so's your mother.
165
00:06:35,298 --> 00:06:38,176
I'm sorry, I just,
I just don't find you funny.
166
00:06:38,451 --> 00:06:40,831
I did it just like you told me.
167
00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:43,069
It's not the same.
168
00:06:43,271 --> 00:06:45,023
Well, if you didn't have Randy
laying on your lap,
169
00:06:45,048 --> 00:06:46,291
you could stop comparing us
170
00:06:46,316 --> 00:06:48,485
- and move on.
- [CHILDREN LAUGH]
171
00:06:48,636 --> 00:06:50,638
[CHUCKLES] So, I was thinking that
172
00:06:50,663 --> 00:06:52,703
Ethan and Estelle could
get married at the boathouse
173
00:06:52,728 --> 00:06:53,783
in Central Park.
174
00:06:53,808 --> 00:06:55,096
Oh, Imogene, we need to
175
00:06:55,121 --> 00:06:57,595
- get you in a bowling league.
- Hi, Joel.
176
00:06:57,620 --> 00:06:59,747
Are you psychologically
scarring our children?
177
00:06:59,772 --> 00:07:00,916
I am.
178
00:07:00,941 --> 00:07:02,273
But, since they're going
to get married,
179
00:07:02,298 --> 00:07:03,657
they will have suffered the same trauma
180
00:07:03,682 --> 00:07:05,648
and will understand each other's
nightmares completely.
181
00:07:05,673 --> 00:07:07,585
My God, this party is loud.
182
00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:10,205
Thank you for talking Imogene
into having it here
183
00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:11,231
instead of our house.
184
00:07:11,256 --> 00:07:12,757
My pleasure, Archie.
185
00:07:12,782 --> 00:07:14,825
Oop, need a refill.
186
00:07:18,380 --> 00:07:21,697
So, I gather Ethan and Estelle
are still getting married.
187
00:07:21,722 --> 00:07:23,307
At the Central Park Boathouse.
188
00:07:23,332 --> 00:07:24,792
- [ESTELLE SCREAMS]
- Geez.
189
00:07:24,817 --> 00:07:26,002
That was Estelle. She's not hurt.
190
00:07:26,027 --> 00:07:27,595
That's not the hurt scream.
She lost a doll.
191
00:07:27,620 --> 00:07:29,500
- [ESTELLE SCREAMS]
- No. Someone took the doll.
192
00:07:29,525 --> 00:07:32,045
- Someone took the doll?
- Find the doll. Find the doll.
193
00:07:33,771 --> 00:07:35,215
Imogene is amazing.
194
00:07:35,242 --> 00:07:36,785
Esther screams while I'm holding her,
195
00:07:36,826 --> 00:07:38,828
I'm still wondering
where it's coming from.
196
00:07:39,082 --> 00:07:41,075
- So, what's going on here?
- Where?
197
00:07:41,135 --> 00:07:43,346
The great mac and cheese
massacre of 1958.
198
00:07:43,393 --> 00:07:45,145
- I'm hungry.
- That's for the kids.
199
00:07:45,335 --> 00:07:47,225
I made it in a rush.
This is quality control.
200
00:07:47,250 --> 00:07:48,334
This is hangover eating.
201
00:07:48,588 --> 00:07:50,257
Where'd you go last night?
202
00:07:50,421 --> 00:07:51,589
None of your business.
203
00:07:51,614 --> 00:07:53,254
I'll withdraw the question.
204
00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:58,390
Hey, Joel, I'd like to talk
to you about something.
205
00:07:58,431 --> 00:07:59,808
Away from people.
206
00:08:00,166 --> 00:08:01,452
If you get a chance.
207
00:08:01,545 --> 00:08:03,687
Well, other than planning
my son's bachelor party,
208
00:08:03,728 --> 00:08:04,896
I'm pretty free.
209
00:08:04,938 --> 00:08:06,324
Good.
210
00:08:06,679 --> 00:08:09,849
Eat some of this so people
won't look at me weird.
211
00:08:10,725 --> 00:08:12,779
[BELL RINGS]
212
00:08:12,821 --> 00:08:15,907
[FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
213
00:08:22,076 --> 00:08:23,733
Hey.
214
00:08:24,318 --> 00:08:26,104
Hair of the dog?
215
00:08:26,854 --> 00:08:28,105
Okay.
216
00:08:28,295 --> 00:08:30,005
I mean, I'm not hungover,
217
00:08:30,046 --> 00:08:31,172
but it is a party.
218
00:08:31,214 --> 00:08:32,865
Sure.
219
00:08:33,953 --> 00:08:35,788
One more.
220
00:08:35,844 --> 00:08:37,846
'Cause you're festive.
221
00:08:38,068 --> 00:08:39,347
Exactly.
222
00:08:39,389 --> 00:08:40,682
[CLEARS THROAT]
223
00:08:40,724 --> 00:08:42,569
So, what did you want to talk about?
224
00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:46,888
I was wondering if...
225
00:08:47,955 --> 00:08:52,460
it might be time to start
talking about getting a divorce.
226
00:08:54,522 --> 00:08:55,690
Uh-huh.
227
00:08:56,498 --> 00:08:58,185
What do you think?
228
00:08:59,992 --> 00:09:02,411
Wow. Fast.
229
00:09:02,436 --> 00:09:04,480
I know. We can wait if you want.
230
00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:07,682
It just seems as if maybe it's time
231
00:09:07,707 --> 00:09:10,584
to start getting on with our lives.
232
00:09:11,085 --> 00:09:12,922
Plus, the kids need to
get used to a new arrangement.
233
00:09:12,964 --> 00:09:14,591
We need to make it normal for them.
234
00:09:14,632 --> 00:09:18,699
Well, I think I will do
whatever you think is right.
235
00:09:19,851 --> 00:09:21,773
Okay.
236
00:09:23,436 --> 00:09:26,981
Then I think it's time.
237
00:09:29,856 --> 00:09:31,858
Just so you know,
I'm doing really well at work.
238
00:09:31,900 --> 00:09:33,651
- I know.
- I'm up for a big promotion.
239
00:09:33,693 --> 00:09:34,861
- I know.
- I'm gonna get it,
240
00:09:34,903 --> 00:09:36,760
- and it's gonna mean more money.
- Okay.
241
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:38,877
And my father had
nothing to do with it.
242
00:09:39,032 --> 00:09:40,492
He'd probably be against it
243
00:09:40,533 --> 00:09:42,213
since it would mean
I'd be traveling a lot.
244
00:09:42,237 --> 00:09:44,055
- You would? How much?
- But it would also mean that
245
00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:45,360
I could take care of everything.
246
00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:46,810
How much would you be traveling, Joel?
247
00:09:46,835 --> 00:09:49,099
I could take care of you, of the kids.
248
00:09:49,734 --> 00:09:51,235
You won't have to worry.
249
00:09:51,490 --> 00:09:53,617
I promise, I got you covered.
250
00:09:59,511 --> 00:10:03,139
[CHILDREN LAUGHING]
251
00:10:06,768 --> 00:10:08,186
He still out?
252
00:10:08,228 --> 00:10:10,605
Are you kidding?
He's been out since cake.
253
00:10:10,647 --> 00:10:12,690
The Maisel men and their sleep.
254
00:10:12,979 --> 00:10:15,151
Please. During the war,
255
00:10:15,353 --> 00:10:17,320
my father fell asleep in a foxhole
256
00:10:17,362 --> 00:10:19,270
and when he woke up,
it was a beer garden.
257
00:10:19,295 --> 00:10:20,796
Sounds like Moishe.
258
00:10:20,935 --> 00:10:23,169
The oom-pah band is
what finally woke him up.
259
00:10:23,271 --> 00:10:25,273
[MIDGE CHUCKLES]
260
00:10:25,414 --> 00:10:28,208
[ESTHER CRIES]
261
00:10:28,849 --> 00:10:30,767
MIDGE [WHISPERS]: Need some help?
262
00:10:30,792 --> 00:10:32,460
JOEL [WHISPERS]: Nope. I got it.
263
00:10:38,591 --> 00:10:39,717
Thanks.
264
00:10:51,929 --> 00:10:55,725
[PIANO TUNE PLAYS OVER RADIO]
265
00:10:58,319 --> 00:11:00,697
So, Ollie the elephant is out, huh?
266
00:11:00,738 --> 00:11:02,940
Yep. It happened last week.
267
00:11:03,022 --> 00:11:05,232
Friday morning Ollie was in,
then by dinnertime,
268
00:11:05,257 --> 00:11:06,856
suddenly it was Louis the lion.
269
00:11:06,881 --> 00:11:08,346
Not sure what happened.
270
00:11:08,371 --> 00:11:09,769
Wow.
271
00:11:09,809 --> 00:11:12,937
Sorry, pal. Life is cold.
272
00:11:13,066 --> 00:11:14,901
Do you remember when we
bought that for him?
273
00:11:15,316 --> 00:11:17,714
I believe it was to
stop a whole lot of screaming.
274
00:11:17,755 --> 00:11:20,175
- Smallpox vaccination.
- Yeah.
275
00:11:20,364 --> 00:11:23,449
He was never gonna be bought off
by a lollipop alone.
276
00:11:24,263 --> 00:11:25,848
What are you doing?
277
00:11:25,873 --> 00:11:27,038
I'm eating.
278
00:11:27,063 --> 00:11:28,284
I can see.
279
00:11:28,313 --> 00:11:29,693
Should I be timing you?
280
00:11:29,718 --> 00:11:31,181
There might be a prize in it
or something.
281
00:11:31,206 --> 00:11:32,671
I'm just so hungry.
282
00:11:32,696 --> 00:11:33,803
That from the party?
283
00:11:33,828 --> 00:11:35,271
I made an extra tray.
284
00:11:35,296 --> 00:11:37,214
I should never cook while hungover.
285
00:11:37,565 --> 00:11:39,734
- Do you want some?
- Uh...
286
00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,069
Are Abe and Rose gonna be home
any time soon?
287
00:11:42,094 --> 00:11:45,023
Papa's at a work gathering,
Mama's with the garden club.
288
00:11:45,180 --> 00:11:49,476
Nights are very quiet
and very separate recently.
289
00:11:49,501 --> 00:11:51,128
Come on. Sit.
290
00:11:52,494 --> 00:11:54,034
Okay.
291
00:11:54,809 --> 00:11:56,519
There any beer in the fridge?
292
00:11:56,653 --> 00:11:58,181
Look in the back.
293
00:11:58,296 --> 00:12:00,194
Mama doesn't like to look at beer.
294
00:12:00,270 --> 00:12:02,089
It makes her think of venereal disease.
295
00:12:02,141 --> 00:12:03,789
[JOEL CHUCKLES]
296
00:12:06,468 --> 00:12:08,195
The party seemed successful.
297
00:12:08,220 --> 00:12:10,390
Only one kid shoved an acorn
up his nose.
298
00:12:10,415 --> 00:12:12,061
- Mendel?
- Yep.
299
00:12:12,086 --> 00:12:13,212
- Well,
300
00:12:13,253 --> 00:12:15,555
- when you got a talent...
- Mm.
301
00:12:19,056 --> 00:12:20,933
I noticed the new dining room.
302
00:12:21,067 --> 00:12:22,616
Yep.
303
00:12:23,298 --> 00:12:25,342
You were not kidding.
304
00:12:27,017 --> 00:12:29,056
I hope this thing
works itself out soon.
305
00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:30,929
I hate to see my parents like this.
306
00:12:30,996 --> 00:12:32,089
It will.
307
00:12:32,114 --> 00:12:34,533
They'll realize it's
a mistake to be apart.
308
00:12:34,623 --> 00:12:37,459
They will realize that
they belong together,
309
00:12:37,541 --> 00:12:40,180
and they'll fix it
before it's too late.
310
00:12:40,271 --> 00:12:42,565
Abe and Rose are very smart.
311
00:12:42,866 --> 00:12:46,620
MAN [SINGING ON RADIO]:
♪ Without you, love... ♪
312
00:12:46,796 --> 00:12:48,449
Can I ask you something?
313
00:12:48,474 --> 00:12:49,811
You can ask me anything.
314
00:12:49,836 --> 00:12:52,003
Why are you still wearing
your wedding ring?
315
00:12:52,203 --> 00:12:54,302
- I'm still married.
- You were living with Penny.
316
00:12:54,327 --> 00:12:56,455
No, I'm not with Penny. That's over.
317
00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:57,648
Well, you were.
318
00:12:57,673 --> 00:12:59,109
I never saw you without the ring.
319
00:12:59,134 --> 00:13:00,999
I never thought about taking it off.
320
00:13:01,024 --> 00:13:02,330
Never even occurred to me.
321
00:13:02,355 --> 00:13:04,240
That doesn't make sense.
322
00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:08,538
Yeah. Nothing I've done
has made any sense.
323
00:13:10,464 --> 00:13:12,496
This is better cold, by the way.
324
00:13:12,823 --> 00:13:15,309
Finish that. I'll get another.
325
00:13:15,396 --> 00:13:17,901
♪ ♪
326
00:13:27,930 --> 00:13:30,933
♪ ♪
327
00:13:43,385 --> 00:13:45,671
♪ I'm not the guy
who cared about love... ♪
328
00:13:45,696 --> 00:13:47,337
Joel, wait, I-I don't, I don't think...
329
00:13:47,396 --> 00:13:51,372
Please... don't think, Midge.
330
00:13:51,397 --> 00:13:53,061
♪ Who cared about fortunes and such ♪
331
00:13:53,103 --> 00:13:54,621
- Please.
- ♪ I never cared much ♪
332
00:13:54,646 --> 00:13:57,357
♪ Oh, look at me now ♪
333
00:13:57,481 --> 00:14:00,651
♪ ♪
334
00:14:00,781 --> 00:14:05,146
♪ I never knew
the technique of kissing ♪
335
00:14:05,252 --> 00:14:10,549
♪ I never knew the thrill
I could get from your touch ♪
336
00:14:10,647 --> 00:14:12,158
♪ Never knew much ♪
337
00:14:12,234 --> 00:14:14,695
♪ Oh, look at me now ♪
338
00:14:14,902 --> 00:14:17,029
♪ ♪
339
00:14:19,237 --> 00:14:22,323
♪ I'm a new man, better than ♪
340
00:14:22,941 --> 00:14:25,256
♪ Casanova at his best ♪
341
00:14:25,394 --> 00:14:27,771
[MUSIC MUTED THROUGH CLOSED DOOR]
342
00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:31,258
♪ With a new heart, a brand-new start ♪
343
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:35,053
♪ I'm so proud I'm bustin' my vest ♪
344
00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:39,712
♪ So I'm the guy
who turned out a lover ♪
345
00:14:40,417 --> 00:14:42,753
♪ So I'm the guy who laughed ♪
346
00:14:42,778 --> 00:14:44,800
♪ At those blue diamond rings... ♪
347
00:14:44,833 --> 00:14:47,612
Mm... Look, Joel, there's
something I have to tell you.
348
00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:49,376
- No. I don't care.
- You don't know what it is.
349
00:14:49,401 --> 00:14:50,753
- I don't care what it is.
- But it's...
350
00:14:50,778 --> 00:14:52,528
If it's bad, I deserve it.
351
00:14:52,834 --> 00:14:54,252
I had it coming. It doesn't matter.
352
00:14:54,277 --> 00:14:55,363
Just let me kiss you again.
353
00:14:55,388 --> 00:14:57,641
This is really important.
354
00:14:58,059 --> 00:14:59,706
Okay.
355
00:15:00,343 --> 00:15:02,185
The whole time that we were together...
356
00:15:02,210 --> 00:15:04,546
And I mean dating and married...
357
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:06,323
♪ Oh, look at me now ♪
358
00:15:06,348 --> 00:15:09,434
I'd unhook every other hook
on my bra before we had sex.
359
00:15:10,147 --> 00:15:11,553
- You what?
- Before we'd have sex,
360
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:12,919
I'd go into the bathroom and I'd unhook
361
00:15:12,944 --> 00:15:14,028
every other hook on my bra.
362
00:15:14,053 --> 00:15:15,539
A-And I didn't know
tonight was gonna happen,
363
00:15:15,564 --> 00:15:18,577
so I-I didn't have a chance to do that.
364
00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:21,034
- Are you serious?
- Yes.
365
00:15:21,059 --> 00:15:22,602
- You would unhook your own bra?
- Partly.
366
00:15:22,627 --> 00:15:23,776
Just to give you a head start.
367
00:15:23,801 --> 00:15:25,476
- What did you think was gonna happen?
- What?
368
00:15:25,501 --> 00:15:27,264
If I had to unhook
the whole thing all by myself.
369
00:15:27,289 --> 00:15:28,429
What'd you think was gonna happen?
370
00:15:28,454 --> 00:15:29,734
You think I was gonna get bored?
371
00:15:29,827 --> 00:15:31,378
- I don't know.
- You think halfway through
372
00:15:31,509 --> 00:15:33,105
I'd lose interest
and go make a sandwich?
373
00:15:33,130 --> 00:15:35,138
- Maybe.
- [LAUGHS]
374
00:15:36,092 --> 00:15:37,839
- You believe this?
- I just wanted
375
00:15:37,864 --> 00:15:39,782
to make things easy for you.
376
00:15:39,807 --> 00:15:42,060
Yeah, well, some things are worth
377
00:15:42,085 --> 00:15:43,819
working a little harder for.
378
00:15:45,064 --> 00:15:49,443
♪ So I'm the guy
that turned out a lover ♪
379
00:15:49,671 --> 00:15:51,931
♪ Yes, I'm the guy ♪
380
00:15:51,956 --> 00:15:54,041
♪ Who laughed at those
blue diamond rings... ♪
381
00:15:54,066 --> 00:15:56,193
Wow, you weren't kidding
about this thing.
382
00:15:56,393 --> 00:15:59,354
♪ Oh, look at me now... ♪
383
00:16:01,231 --> 00:16:03,343
Who the hell designed this,
the Catholic Church?
384
00:16:03,392 --> 00:16:05,736
♪ Look at me now. ♪
385
00:16:08,002 --> 00:16:10,130
JOEL: Ha! A conqueror!
386
00:16:10,218 --> 00:16:12,178
[MIDGE LAUGHING]
387
00:16:15,354 --> 00:16:18,357
How long before the marks go away?
388
00:16:18,382 --> 00:16:20,398
They'll be gone by morning.
389
00:16:20,434 --> 00:16:22,811
Just in time to put the thing
back on again.
390
00:16:23,088 --> 00:16:25,277
It's a vicious circle.
391
00:16:25,416 --> 00:16:26,876
Does it hurt?
392
00:16:26,939 --> 00:16:28,743
Not once your ribs go numb.
393
00:16:28,835 --> 00:16:30,586
[CHUCKLES]
394
00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:34,692
I don't know why I never
noticed the marks before.
395
00:16:35,265 --> 00:16:38,285
I'd powder them so they weren't as red.
396
00:16:39,803 --> 00:16:41,754
Of course you did.
397
00:16:43,678 --> 00:16:45,396
You know...
398
00:16:46,293 --> 00:16:48,921
the last time we were in this bed...
399
00:16:48,968 --> 00:16:50,074
Mm-hmm?
400
00:16:50,099 --> 00:16:51,892
...was the week before our wedding.
401
00:16:52,070 --> 00:16:53,913
That's right.
402
00:16:54,146 --> 00:16:58,191
I remember laying here thinking,
403
00:16:58,580 --> 00:17:02,513
"In one week, I'll be married
to Miriam Weissman,
404
00:17:02,668 --> 00:17:04,837
"the most beautiful girl in the world.
405
00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:09,446
"And I'll have a wife,
and we'll have our own home,
406
00:17:09,981 --> 00:17:12,108
"and we'll have two kids,
407
00:17:12,171 --> 00:17:15,759
"and I'll never, ever have to have sex
408
00:17:15,784 --> 00:17:18,245
in front of the Dionne
quintuplets again."
409
00:17:18,350 --> 00:17:20,379
Best-laid plans.
410
00:17:21,061 --> 00:17:23,092
And now here we are.
411
00:17:24,087 --> 00:17:26,035
You're back in your parents' house,
412
00:17:26,073 --> 00:17:28,200
I'm back in mine.
413
00:17:28,294 --> 00:17:30,633
Very strange.
414
00:17:31,346 --> 00:17:33,273
- I've got a curfew.
- You're kidding.
415
00:17:33,298 --> 00:17:35,095
- And chores.
- Wow.
416
00:17:35,247 --> 00:17:37,261
- I have a job.
- I heard about the job.
417
00:17:37,286 --> 00:17:38,754
Saving up for a TV set
418
00:17:38,989 --> 00:17:40,175
and some roller skates.
419
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:41,910
Well, I got some roller skates.
420
00:17:42,321 --> 00:17:44,082
They have Buck Rogers on them.
421
00:17:46,856 --> 00:17:48,316
Redd Foxx? What's this?
422
00:17:48,392 --> 00:17:50,352
That's called a party album.
423
00:17:50,460 --> 00:17:52,587
Sort of underground comedy.
424
00:17:52,612 --> 00:17:53,720
Why underground?
425
00:17:53,745 --> 00:17:55,722
I don't know. They're dirty,
426
00:17:55,887 --> 00:17:57,755
but really funny.
427
00:18:00,352 --> 00:18:02,153
"The Music Inn"?
428
00:18:02,519 --> 00:18:04,229
That's the place I got 'em.
429
00:18:04,254 --> 00:18:06,382
On 4th. Right near the Gaslight.
430
00:18:06,407 --> 00:18:08,607
- You'd love it.
- Hanging out
431
00:18:08,632 --> 00:18:10,584
at record stores in the Village,
432
00:18:10,688 --> 00:18:13,161
working in a department store...
433
00:18:13,282 --> 00:18:15,847
Went to a protest
in Washington Square Park.
434
00:18:16,055 --> 00:18:17,255
Do you know they want to put a road
435
00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:18,468
right through the middle of the arch?
436
00:18:18,493 --> 00:18:19,908
- What for?
- I don't know.
437
00:18:20,275 --> 00:18:21,777
Progress.
438
00:18:21,802 --> 00:18:25,082
Progress? Right.
439
00:18:26,334 --> 00:18:27,961
Progress.
440
00:18:28,003 --> 00:18:30,755
Things move on, I guess.
441
00:18:32,472 --> 00:18:35,851
How did I screw everything up so badly?
442
00:18:36,146 --> 00:18:38,232
I never said I'm sorry, did I?
443
00:18:38,346 --> 00:18:41,390
I don't know. Maybe.
444
00:18:41,428 --> 00:18:43,931
I should have come back
on my knees that night.
445
00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:46,612
Bought you flowers.
446
00:18:47,488 --> 00:18:48,906
I should have...
447
00:18:49,149 --> 00:18:51,818
Never should have left
in the first place.
448
00:18:53,047 --> 00:18:55,493
You just have to understand...
449
00:18:56,228 --> 00:18:58,522
you are a lot, Midge.
450
00:18:58,547 --> 00:19:00,174
A lot of what?
451
00:19:05,083 --> 00:19:06,938
You meet a girl.
452
00:19:07,509 --> 00:19:09,970
Maybe she's pretty,
453
00:19:10,711 --> 00:19:12,792
maybe she's smart,
454
00:19:12,862 --> 00:19:14,985
maybe she's funny.
455
00:19:15,602 --> 00:19:18,271
Maybe your parents like her.
456
00:19:18,425 --> 00:19:19,623
Maybe you get really lucky,
457
00:19:19,648 --> 00:19:22,168
and she's one or two of those things.
458
00:19:22,859 --> 00:19:25,153
I got 'em all.
459
00:19:25,661 --> 00:19:27,288
That's a lot.
460
00:19:28,694 --> 00:19:30,263
It wasn't enough, though.
461
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:31,988
It was.
462
00:19:32,456 --> 00:19:34,398
It was more than enough.
463
00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:37,135
I fell in love with you
464
00:19:37,282 --> 00:19:39,785
the moment I asked you out,
and you said no.
465
00:19:39,975 --> 00:19:41,351
A pointless "no."
466
00:19:41,493 --> 00:19:42,823
The first time I laid eyes on you,
467
00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:44,086
that was it for me.
468
00:19:44,111 --> 00:19:45,838
Until you left.
469
00:19:45,901 --> 00:19:47,569
I never left.
470
00:19:48,466 --> 00:19:50,959
I don't know what I did, but...
471
00:19:51,925 --> 00:19:53,218
I never really left.
472
00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:56,768
Sure felt like you left.
473
00:20:01,196 --> 00:20:03,277
What can I do, Midge?
474
00:20:04,199 --> 00:20:06,302
What can I do to...
475
00:20:07,955 --> 00:20:09,773
I love you.
476
00:20:11,521 --> 00:20:13,090
Do you know that?
477
00:20:14,216 --> 00:20:16,528
Do you know that I love you?
478
00:20:19,035 --> 00:20:20,563
So, what happens now?
479
00:20:20,611 --> 00:20:22,363
What do you want to happen?
480
00:20:23,983 --> 00:20:26,675
Because whatever it is, I will do it.
481
00:20:26,883 --> 00:20:29,862
Just tell me what you want.
482
00:20:33,598 --> 00:20:36,475
[WHISPERS]: I want your roller skates.
483
00:20:36,631 --> 00:20:38,229
[CHUCKLES]
484
00:20:50,743 --> 00:20:51,952
[BICYCLE BELL JINGLES]
485
00:20:52,544 --> 00:20:54,588
[MILK BOTTLES CLINKING]
486
00:20:59,985 --> 00:21:01,386
[LOUD THUD IN KITCHEN]
487
00:21:01,411 --> 00:21:02,662
- Oh, no.
- What?
488
00:21:02,689 --> 00:21:04,482
Shh. We fell asleep.
489
00:21:04,530 --> 00:21:05,769
We weren't supposed to fall asleep.
490
00:21:05,794 --> 00:21:06,989
- I was...
- Shh.
491
00:21:07,370 --> 00:21:08,521
That sounds like eggs.
492
00:21:08,546 --> 00:21:09,595
Does that sound like eggs?
493
00:21:09,620 --> 00:21:10,621
- It...
- Shh.
494
00:21:10,741 --> 00:21:11,972
ROSE: Morning, Zelda.
495
00:21:11,997 --> 00:21:13,385
ZELDA: I'm making eggs, Mrs. Weissman.
496
00:21:13,410 --> 00:21:15,325
See? Shit! Eggs. Shit!
497
00:21:15,350 --> 00:21:16,644
- Midge...
- We fell asleep.
498
00:21:16,669 --> 00:21:18,075
I can't believe we fell asleep
in my room.
499
00:21:18,100 --> 00:21:20,463
- So what?
- There are poodles in here, Joel.
500
00:21:20,488 --> 00:21:21,691
Dozens of 'em.
501
00:21:21,716 --> 00:21:23,443
We've had sex in your room
before, Midge.
502
00:21:23,468 --> 00:21:25,053
Not since we've been married.
503
00:21:25,127 --> 00:21:26,295
Well, you got me there.
504
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:27,654
You have to go.
505
00:21:27,900 --> 00:21:30,575
Wait. What... What are you doing?
506
00:21:31,081 --> 00:21:33,144
I... this is not the way to make me go,
507
00:21:33,169 --> 00:21:34,337
in case there was a question.
508
00:21:34,362 --> 00:21:35,446
Get your clothes.
509
00:21:35,471 --> 00:21:36,722
[CHUCKLING]
510
00:21:36,925 --> 00:21:38,635
You get your clothes, you leave,
511
00:21:38,777 --> 00:21:40,195
they'll never know.
512
00:21:40,236 --> 00:21:42,405
Oh, to have a camera right now.
513
00:21:43,038 --> 00:21:44,706
- Get dressed.
- Midge, I...
514
00:21:44,731 --> 00:21:46,274
- You have to get dressed.
- But I...
515
00:21:46,299 --> 00:21:47,926
You get dressed
and climb out the window,
516
00:21:47,951 --> 00:21:49,160
just like you used to.
517
00:21:49,185 --> 00:21:50,869
Yes, good, climb out the window,
518
00:21:50,894 --> 00:21:51,909
go from the fire escape to the roof,
519
00:21:51,934 --> 00:21:53,346
and take the freight elevator
back down.
520
00:21:53,371 --> 00:21:55,143
Will you stop? Will you just...
521
00:21:55,659 --> 00:21:57,125
You should try out for the Yankees.
522
00:21:57,238 --> 00:21:59,818
MIDGE: Shoes, belt, socks.
523
00:22:00,044 --> 00:22:02,475
Where are your socks?
Where are your socks?
524
00:22:02,539 --> 00:22:04,791
Where are your socks?
What'd you do with your socks?
525
00:22:05,053 --> 00:22:06,638
Oh, they're in your shoes.
526
00:22:06,807 --> 00:22:08,301
At some point last night
you stopped to put your socks
527
00:22:08,326 --> 00:22:09,898
- in your shoes?
- I didn't, I...
528
00:22:09,923 --> 00:22:11,665
Why are you slow?
Were you always this slow?
529
00:22:11,690 --> 00:22:12,991
I haven't panic-dressed in a while.
530
00:22:13,016 --> 00:22:14,760
Go! You can finish outside.
531
00:22:14,836 --> 00:22:16,875
Okay, okay, calm down. I'm going.
532
00:22:17,222 --> 00:22:19,108
Oh, wait.
533
00:22:19,261 --> 00:22:20,700
I think I left my wallet
in the kitchen.
534
00:22:20,725 --> 00:22:22,643
- Let me just, uh...
- This isn't funny.
535
00:22:22,816 --> 00:22:25,895
ROSE: Miriam? Are you up?
536
00:22:26,035 --> 00:22:27,245
If not, get up.
537
00:22:27,270 --> 00:22:28,869
I'm up. I'll be right there.
538
00:22:29,203 --> 00:22:31,295
- Joel, please, just...
- I'm going.
539
00:22:31,818 --> 00:22:33,361
Geez, it's freezing.
540
00:22:33,562 --> 00:22:35,698
This window seemed bigger
five years ago.
541
00:22:36,057 --> 00:22:37,315
ROSE: No, no cheese.
542
00:22:37,402 --> 00:22:38,742
No cheese from now on, ever.
543
00:22:38,767 --> 00:22:40,602
- [WHISPERING]: Hey.
- What?
544
00:22:52,336 --> 00:22:54,213
Did you always look
like this in the morning?
545
00:22:54,436 --> 00:22:56,269
You got to go.
546
00:23:01,519 --> 00:23:03,604
Morning, Mama. Morning, Zelda.
547
00:23:03,700 --> 00:23:06,158
My goodness, the coffee smells
especially amazing today.
548
00:23:06,183 --> 00:23:09,240
You know those days when coffee
just smells extra amazing?
549
00:23:09,414 --> 00:23:12,250
Yes, those are wonderful days.
What are you wearing?
550
00:23:12,278 --> 00:23:14,363
This is a robe.
551
00:23:14,492 --> 00:23:16,971
Yes. I stand by my previous statement.
552
00:23:16,996 --> 00:23:19,477
Your face is a mess.
Your hair is a mess.
553
00:23:19,502 --> 00:23:22,630
So it's a theme. No, I just, I-I had...
554
00:23:23,105 --> 00:23:25,019
I had a dream I was on a safari,
555
00:23:25,044 --> 00:23:27,082
and there was no place for me
to get my hair done.
556
00:23:27,107 --> 00:23:28,894
And all my bags got lost,
557
00:23:28,919 --> 00:23:30,981
and a lion chased me and ate my purse.
558
00:23:31,006 --> 00:23:32,107
And when I woke up, I looked like this.
559
00:23:32,132 --> 00:23:36,091
So, that is the last time
that I... dream.
560
00:23:38,776 --> 00:23:40,027
My room's a mess.
561
00:23:40,052 --> 00:23:42,263
Wouldn't want you to dock my allowance.
562
00:23:42,782 --> 00:23:44,242
Good morning, Papa.
563
00:23:44,267 --> 00:23:45,592
Want to hear about my safari dream?
564
00:23:45,617 --> 00:23:46,782
It's the reason I look like this.
565
00:23:46,807 --> 00:23:48,359
Like what?
566
00:23:48,503 --> 00:23:50,005
Coffee sure smells good, huh?
567
00:23:50,065 --> 00:23:51,410
- Smells like coffee.
- Mm.
568
00:23:51,436 --> 00:23:52,695
Good morning, Zelda.
569
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:53,929
Good morning, Mr. Weissman.
570
00:23:53,954 --> 00:23:55,496
- Good morning, Ro...
- I'll take my breakfast
571
00:23:55,521 --> 00:23:57,072
in the dining room, Zelda.
572
00:23:57,213 --> 00:23:59,340
Will you be joining Mrs. Weissman?
573
00:23:59,549 --> 00:24:01,645
In the dining room?
574
00:24:01,872 --> 00:24:04,749
No, I won't.
575
00:24:05,377 --> 00:24:07,169
Bye, Papa.
576
00:24:07,342 --> 00:24:08,718
[KNIFE CLATTERS]
577
00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:10,029
What?
578
00:24:10,344 --> 00:24:13,013
The coffee smells
very good this morning.
579
00:24:13,223 --> 00:24:14,849
[LAUGHS SOFTLY]
580
00:24:16,851 --> 00:24:18,646
DON: "Belter Chemical Company
581
00:24:18,671 --> 00:24:20,108
"of Pasadena, California
582
00:24:20,133 --> 00:24:22,267
specializes in Bakelite production."
583
00:24:22,292 --> 00:24:23,525
Got to speak up, Donny.
584
00:24:23,566 --> 00:24:26,110
"But their profits
have seen a steady decline
585
00:24:26,152 --> 00:24:27,320
"ever since the war ended.
586
00:24:27,362 --> 00:24:28,738
"Not only is there no need
587
00:24:28,780 --> 00:24:30,416
- "for pilot goggles..."
- Yada, yada, yada.
588
00:24:30,441 --> 00:24:32,564
You got to pace it up. You're
boring the shit out of me.
589
00:24:32,589 --> 00:24:35,226
- Archie?
- Hmm, what? Is Donny still talking?
590
00:24:35,251 --> 00:24:36,334
- Screw you, Archie.
- JOEL: Okay.
591
00:24:36,359 --> 00:24:38,378
Let's say Donny finishes
and everyone's still conscious.
592
00:24:38,403 --> 00:24:40,403
- Thank you, thank you very much.
- You'll step in
593
00:24:40,428 --> 00:24:42,147
with the Belter profit
and loss records.
594
00:24:42,172 --> 00:24:43,710
Play up the bad, which means...
595
00:24:43,735 --> 00:24:46,258
We swoop in with a lowball offer
that they will jump at!
596
00:24:46,283 --> 00:24:48,002
Hear that, Donny?
It's called having a pulse.
597
00:24:48,027 --> 00:24:49,995
I'm being ganged up on here,
Mrs. Moskowitz.
598
00:24:50,020 --> 00:24:51,212
Play nice, boys.
599
00:24:51,237 --> 00:24:53,182
Archie finishes,
then I'll bring it home.
600
00:24:53,342 --> 00:24:55,642
There will be lots of
figures, lots of fireworks.
601
00:24:55,681 --> 00:24:57,974
I'll throw around words
like "phenolic resins."
602
00:24:57,999 --> 00:25:00,626
- Oh! -Oh! -Catalin,
Faturan and Crystalate...
603
00:25:00,701 --> 00:25:02,531
I hear they're headlining
at the Apollo next week.
604
00:25:02,556 --> 00:25:04,259
- Then I'll point to charts!
- Charts! -Charts!
605
00:25:04,284 --> 00:25:05,524
- And graphs!
- Graphs! -Graphs!
606
00:25:05,549 --> 00:25:06,991
I'll dazzle them with bullshit,
607
00:25:07,016 --> 00:25:09,337
and then we'll hand out some
very nice color-coded binders,
608
00:25:09,362 --> 00:25:10,657
and as they all start to read,
609
00:25:10,682 --> 00:25:12,402
I'll sum up the
presentation with the words,
610
00:25:12,427 --> 00:25:14,890
"The future is ours.
And we will take it!"
611
00:25:14,923 --> 00:25:17,050
- [CHEERING]
- Well.
612
00:25:17,138 --> 00:25:18,347
We're ready, men.
613
00:25:18,372 --> 00:25:20,582
- Get a shave, press your suits.
- Oh.
614
00:25:20,607 --> 00:25:23,334
I don't think Don
should wear his grey suit.
615
00:25:23,459 --> 00:25:24,714
It makes him look tubby.
616
00:25:24,739 --> 00:25:26,379
Et tu, Mrs. Moskowitz?
617
00:25:26,404 --> 00:25:27,624
JOEL: You heard her, Donny.
618
00:25:27,655 --> 00:25:28,821
- You're tubby in the grey.
- ARCHIE: Boy,
619
00:25:28,846 --> 00:25:29,893
are you in a good mood.
620
00:25:29,918 --> 00:25:31,968
[CHUCKLING]: He's been
in a good mood all day.
621
00:25:31,993 --> 00:25:33,269
Something making you extra happy?
622
00:25:33,294 --> 00:25:35,029
Something you can share? Or pour?
623
00:25:35,054 --> 00:25:37,848
- Well, I wasn't gonna say anything.
- ARCHIE: About what?
624
00:25:38,224 --> 00:25:41,917
It's not a done deal yet, but
it looks like maybe Midge and I
625
00:25:41,942 --> 00:25:43,646
- might give it another go.
- DON: You're kidding.
626
00:25:43,671 --> 00:25:45,989
Oh, thank God. Thank you, God.
627
00:25:46,014 --> 00:25:47,432
- Easy, boy.
- You don't understand.
628
00:25:47,457 --> 00:25:49,474
You have no idea
what it's been like with Imogene
629
00:25:49,499 --> 00:25:51,601
since the two of you split.
She's gone crazy.
630
00:25:51,626 --> 00:25:53,662
Wasn't that long a trip, pal.
I got news for you.
631
00:25:53,687 --> 00:25:55,580
She's obsessed with my every move.
632
00:25:55,605 --> 00:25:57,274
Where have I been, what am I doing?
633
00:25:57,299 --> 00:25:59,202
I spilled ketchup on my shirt one day,
634
00:25:59,227 --> 00:26:01,264
and she goes over to my
secretary's apartment
635
00:26:01,289 --> 00:26:04,479
and compares all her
lipstick color to the stain.
636
00:26:04,504 --> 00:26:05,819
- Ooh!
- Can I tell her about Midge?
637
00:26:05,844 --> 00:26:07,164
[LAUGHS]: Please, let me tell her.
638
00:26:07,189 --> 00:26:08,687
Not just yet, but soon.
639
00:26:08,998 --> 00:26:12,253
In the meantime, after work
tonight, drinks are on me.
640
00:26:12,278 --> 00:26:14,030
- [LAUGHS] -Oh!
- You, too, Mrs. Moskowitz!
641
00:26:14,091 --> 00:26:17,278
[CHUCKLES] I can't wait
to meet Mrs. Maisel.
642
00:26:17,321 --> 00:26:18,990
I bet she's a pretty wonderful girl.
643
00:26:19,098 --> 00:26:20,830
Oh, she is, Mrs. Moskowitz.
644
00:26:20,855 --> 00:26:23,399
- She is at that.
- [CHUCKLES]
645
00:26:33,185 --> 00:26:35,851
[MUTTERING]
646
00:26:36,072 --> 00:26:37,531
No.
647
00:26:37,673 --> 00:26:40,203
Hey, what's funnier,
corned beef or pastrami?
648
00:26:40,228 --> 00:26:41,579
Pastrami.
649
00:26:41,621 --> 00:26:44,207
[QUIETLY]: "Pastrami..."
650
00:26:44,248 --> 00:26:45,851
That is funnier.
651
00:26:45,935 --> 00:26:47,353
Thank you!
652
00:26:47,415 --> 00:26:48,541
[LAUGHS]
653
00:26:49,599 --> 00:26:51,299
♪ Dashing through the snow ♪
654
00:26:51,324 --> 00:26:53,201
♪ In a one-horse open sleigh... ♪
655
00:26:53,285 --> 00:26:55,787
MARY: I think
maybe he could be the one.
656
00:26:55,856 --> 00:26:57,233
He doesn't have to be the one.
657
00:26:57,258 --> 00:26:59,207
He could just be the one right now.
658
00:26:59,232 --> 00:27:00,536
Where is he taking you?
659
00:27:00,561 --> 00:27:02,599
- The movies.
- So lucky.
660
00:27:02,624 --> 00:27:03,835
What's your evening, Viv?
661
00:27:03,860 --> 00:27:05,812
I'm going to church with my family.
662
00:27:05,837 --> 00:27:09,802
The choir's great and the priest
looks just like David Niven.
663
00:27:09,827 --> 00:27:10,995
- Oh, dear.
- [LAUGHTER]
664
00:27:11,082 --> 00:27:13,251
[GASPS] It's snowing.
665
00:27:13,392 --> 00:27:14,727
I love the snow.
666
00:27:14,752 --> 00:27:16,042
Don't you love the snow?
667
00:27:16,067 --> 00:27:17,273
I do love the snow.
668
00:27:17,298 --> 00:27:18,901
I think the snow is good luck.
669
00:27:18,926 --> 00:27:20,553
Depends on how far you have to walk.
670
00:27:20,581 --> 00:27:23,338
My wedding had a Russian
winter wonderland theme.
671
00:27:23,363 --> 00:27:24,742
You know, like Doctor Zhivago.
672
00:27:24,767 --> 00:27:27,028
You had a medical themed
wedding? That's really weird.
673
00:27:27,053 --> 00:27:29,686
Doctor Zhivago is a book.
Don't make us look stupid.
674
00:27:29,711 --> 00:27:31,993
Everything was white,
and there were trees painted
675
00:27:32,018 --> 00:27:33,474
like they were covered with snow.
676
00:27:33,499 --> 00:27:36,085
It was really, really beautiful.
677
00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:37,579
What are you doing tonight, Midge?
678
00:27:37,686 --> 00:27:39,314
- Oh, I have plans.
- Hmm.
679
00:27:39,339 --> 00:27:40,924
Is it something wonderful?
680
00:27:40,977 --> 00:27:43,062
It is. It is something wonderful.
681
00:27:43,111 --> 00:27:45,099
That's good. Because tonight,
682
00:27:45,184 --> 00:27:47,122
everyone should do something wonderful.
683
00:27:47,147 --> 00:27:48,274
[LAUGHTER]
684
00:27:48,339 --> 00:27:50,470
- Bye, Midge.
- Bye.
685
00:27:50,626 --> 00:27:52,920
Ho, ho, ho.
686
00:27:53,002 --> 00:27:54,922
BOY: Look, it's Santa.
687
00:27:54,947 --> 00:27:56,604
♪ Take the boys along ♪
688
00:27:56,629 --> 00:27:58,688
♪ And sing this sleighing song ♪
689
00:27:58,778 --> 00:28:00,488
♪ Just get a bobtailed bay ♪
690
00:28:00,616 --> 00:28:02,452
♪ 240 as his speed ♪
691
00:28:02,493 --> 00:28:04,322
♪ Hitch him to an open sleigh ♪
692
00:28:04,347 --> 00:28:06,385
♪ And crack, you'll take
the lead, oh... ♪
693
00:28:06,410 --> 00:28:08,647
Four sailors stuck
licking the lamp post.
694
00:28:08,747 --> 00:28:10,175
You got to hit "licking."
I keep telling you,
695
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:11,968
it's not funny unless you
hit "licking" right.
696
00:28:12,100 --> 00:28:13,767
Licking the lamp post.
697
00:28:14,007 --> 00:28:15,668
Licking the lamp post.
698
00:28:15,693 --> 00:28:17,650
Jesus, how long
are we gonna be sitting here?
699
00:28:17,675 --> 00:28:19,051
You're supposed to go on at 8:00.
700
00:28:19,093 --> 00:28:21,572
When you said "shit gig,"
this is exactly what I pictured.
701
00:28:21,597 --> 00:28:23,849
Yeah, this place
is pretty much the worst.
702
00:28:23,922 --> 00:28:26,348
Now, remember, the audience
out there will be terrible.
703
00:28:26,381 --> 00:28:27,769
All right? They're gonna be drunk,
704
00:28:27,794 --> 00:28:29,195
horny and in no mood to laugh.
705
00:28:29,220 --> 00:28:30,913
There's pretty much no chance
you're gonna win them over,
706
00:28:30,938 --> 00:28:32,291
even if you do show them your tits,
707
00:28:32,316 --> 00:28:34,694
'cause there's a lot of tits
to look at in here.
708
00:28:35,910 --> 00:28:37,630
I'm sorry, was that the end
of the pep talk?
709
00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:38,751
Just keep going.
710
00:28:38,776 --> 00:28:40,397
No matter what they toss at you,
keep going.
711
00:28:40,422 --> 00:28:42,897
- Okay.
- Duck, you know, but keep going.
712
00:28:44,577 --> 00:28:46,913
- So, Susie.
- Yes?
713
00:28:47,376 --> 00:28:49,212
- I'm gonna tell you something.
- Okay.
714
00:28:49,237 --> 00:28:50,583
I'm just gonna say it,
because I want you to hear it,
715
00:28:50,608 --> 00:28:52,208
and after I say it
and after you hear it,
716
00:28:52,233 --> 00:28:53,833
we are not gonna discuss it again.
717
00:28:53,858 --> 00:28:55,255
I just want you to hear it,
718
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:56,586
because we are in business together,
719
00:28:56,611 --> 00:28:57,867
and we spend time together
720
00:28:57,892 --> 00:29:00,063
and it could come up occasionally.
721
00:29:00,191 --> 00:29:01,293
And I don't want to keep
anything from you.
722
00:29:01,318 --> 00:29:02,629
But I don't want you to be surprised
723
00:29:02,654 --> 00:29:04,111
- if I accidentally...
- What is this?
724
00:29:04,136 --> 00:29:05,448
The lost Hamlet monologue?
725
00:29:05,473 --> 00:29:06,619
Just say it, for Christ's sake.
726
00:29:06,644 --> 00:29:08,091
I spent the night with Joel.
727
00:29:08,867 --> 00:29:10,793
After Ethan's party,
he spent the night.
728
00:29:10,886 --> 00:29:14,101
And we... spent the night.
729
00:29:14,357 --> 00:29:15,525
So there.
730
00:29:15,566 --> 00:29:17,060
I told you. You know it.
731
00:29:17,085 --> 00:29:19,103
We are not gonna talk about it again.
732
00:29:21,228 --> 00:29:22,960
Who's Joel?
733
00:29:23,624 --> 00:29:25,293
My husband.
734
00:29:25,993 --> 00:29:27,623
You slept with your husband?
735
00:29:27,648 --> 00:29:29,014
He was such an asshole.
736
00:29:29,041 --> 00:29:30,500
We are not gonna talk about it.
737
00:29:30,620 --> 00:29:31,846
Are you getting back together with him?
738
00:29:31,871 --> 00:29:33,815
I just thought I should tell you
in case it came up...
739
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:35,001
In case what?
740
00:29:35,026 --> 00:29:36,387
We are not gonna talk about it.
741
00:29:36,412 --> 00:29:37,900
- You are, aren't you?
- Not talking about it.
742
00:29:37,925 --> 00:29:39,604
- But...
- Not talking about.
743
00:29:40,216 --> 00:29:41,968
- MAN: Susie Myerson!
- Yeah.
744
00:29:43,141 --> 00:29:46,500
We'll continue not talking
about it when I get back.
745
00:29:48,305 --> 00:29:50,099
You slept with your husband?
746
00:29:51,135 --> 00:29:52,242
Yes.
747
00:29:52,267 --> 00:29:54,995
Aren't you supposed to sleep
with your husband? I'm confused.
748
00:29:55,020 --> 00:29:57,206
Well, we've been separated for a while,
749
00:29:57,231 --> 00:29:58,899
so it was, it was a little unexpected.
750
00:29:58,924 --> 00:30:01,295
Well, your boyfriend took it
pretty well, considering.
751
00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:02,868
Oh, Susie's not my boyfriend.
752
00:30:02,893 --> 00:30:04,131
She's my manager.
753
00:30:04,156 --> 00:30:05,700
Strippers got managers now?
754
00:30:05,741 --> 00:30:06,909
I-I'm not a stripper.
755
00:30:06,951 --> 00:30:08,862
- What are you?
- I'm a comic.
756
00:30:08,887 --> 00:30:11,181
Ooh, tough way to make a living.
757
00:30:11,272 --> 00:30:14,233
[LAUGHTER]
758
00:30:14,832 --> 00:30:16,250
Get your coat.
759
00:30:16,292 --> 00:30:18,497
- Why?
- Just get it. Let's go.
760
00:30:18,625 --> 00:30:20,464
- Susie.
- They canceled us, okay?
761
00:30:20,489 --> 00:30:21,982
- You happy?
- What are you talking about,
762
00:30:22,007 --> 00:30:23,230
- "canceled"?
- They just told me,
763
00:30:23,255 --> 00:30:25,309
they got someone else
for your spot tonight.
764
00:30:25,395 --> 00:30:27,162
- Why?
- Why do you think?
765
00:30:27,187 --> 00:30:28,522
Harry fucking Drake.
766
00:30:28,597 --> 00:30:30,224
Are you kidding? How did he even know
767
00:30:30,249 --> 00:30:31,460
about this stupid gig?
768
00:30:31,485 --> 00:30:33,988
- Oh, I told him.
- Why?
769
00:30:34,013 --> 00:30:35,629
'Cause I'm the world's biggest idiot.
770
00:30:35,654 --> 00:30:37,539
And you can bet
if he cost us this loser gig,
771
00:30:37,564 --> 00:30:39,507
he's probably gonna cost us
the other loser gig, also.
772
00:30:39,532 --> 00:30:41,901
Well, they're blackballing
Amanda Gleason, not me.
773
00:30:41,926 --> 00:30:44,545
I-I could change my
name to Trudy Macintosh.
774
00:30:44,570 --> 00:30:46,119
Well, he knows my name, Trudy.
775
00:30:46,144 --> 00:30:48,855
And they're not dealing with me,
and I'm your manager. Right?
776
00:30:48,890 --> 00:30:50,183
Yes. Of course.
777
00:30:50,208 --> 00:30:51,294
Right?
778
00:30:51,319 --> 00:30:53,443
Yes. Susie, please. We're a team.
779
00:30:53,468 --> 00:30:55,345
Okay.
780
00:30:55,561 --> 00:30:56,770
So what do we do now?
781
00:30:56,795 --> 00:30:57,963
I don't know.
782
00:30:57,988 --> 00:30:59,672
Shit, shit, shit.
783
00:30:59,884 --> 00:31:01,738
[QUIETLY]: Cunt.
784
00:31:02,281 --> 00:31:04,241
It's a good thing
you don't have a career anymore,
785
00:31:04,266 --> 00:31:05,519
'cause that loser husband of yours
786
00:31:05,544 --> 00:31:08,171
would never have
let you do this anyway.
787
00:31:13,434 --> 00:31:15,811
I'll fly out of here, like a bird.
788
00:31:16,186 --> 00:31:18,525
Like a bird, like a bird.
789
00:31:18,602 --> 00:31:21,021
I'll run out of here, like a deer.
790
00:31:21,262 --> 00:31:23,576
Like a deer, like a deer.
791
00:31:23,608 --> 00:31:26,027
MAN: I'll swim out of here,
like a fish.
792
00:31:26,241 --> 00:31:28,869
- WOMEN: Like a fish, like a fish.
- Back table.
793
00:31:28,918 --> 00:31:31,099
MAN: I'll climb out of here,
like an ape.
794
00:31:31,161 --> 00:31:33,916
- What's he doing here?
- Fuck if I'm gonna ask.
795
00:31:34,067 --> 00:31:36,808
MAN: I'll slink out of here,
like a snake.
796
00:31:36,847 --> 00:31:39,002
WOMEN: Like a snake, like a snake.
797
00:31:39,027 --> 00:31:41,640
- Hey boss, nice to...
- Who the hell is Amanda Gleason?
798
00:31:41,708 --> 00:31:44,503
- Why?
- Word is she's persona non grata.
799
00:31:44,545 --> 00:31:46,756
Harry Drake himself made the call.
800
00:31:46,984 --> 00:31:49,481
The last time I talked to
Harry Drake was ten years ago,
801
00:31:49,506 --> 00:31:51,602
when the same whore
gave us both the clap.
802
00:31:51,627 --> 00:31:53,027
- That's a nice story.
- He's saying
803
00:31:53,052 --> 00:31:55,214
Amanda Gleason better not
come within ten feet
804
00:31:55,239 --> 00:31:56,391
of the Gaslight.
805
00:31:56,416 --> 00:31:59,002
If she does, he'll make
sure anyone who performs here
806
00:31:59,027 --> 00:32:01,145
will never work
on the East Coast again.
807
00:32:01,170 --> 00:32:02,818
Look, Harry is a legendary drunk.
808
00:32:02,843 --> 00:32:04,833
And he's saying you screwed him over.
809
00:32:04,858 --> 00:32:06,161
- Did you do that?
- [STAMMERS]
810
00:32:06,186 --> 00:32:07,466
At least I didn't give him the clap.
811
00:32:07,491 --> 00:32:09,125
Who is Amanda Gleason, Susie?
812
00:32:09,150 --> 00:32:11,389
- She's a comic I'm managing.
- Well, see if you can
813
00:32:11,414 --> 00:32:12,654
manage to keep her out of here.
814
00:32:12,699 --> 00:32:13,924
- Eddie...
- Don't book her,
815
00:32:13,949 --> 00:32:15,364
don't give her a slot.
816
00:32:15,389 --> 00:32:17,857
Don't let her use the john.
Nothing. You got it?
817
00:32:17,882 --> 00:32:19,562
You'd feel different
if you'd heard her act.
818
00:32:19,587 --> 00:32:21,088
Susie, listen to me.
819
00:32:21,271 --> 00:32:22,688
You've done a good job here
820
00:32:22,713 --> 00:32:26,091
with Baz off in the tundra,
or wherever the hell he is.
821
00:32:26,116 --> 00:32:28,410
But I need you to stand down
for a while.
822
00:32:28,868 --> 00:32:31,714
- What does that mean?
- It means let Jackie run things.
823
00:32:31,855 --> 00:32:33,774
Let him put the lineups together.
824
00:32:34,003 --> 00:32:36,612
You stay away from anything
having to do with the talent.
825
00:32:36,686 --> 00:32:38,370
- Then what am I supposed to do?
- Run the door.
826
00:32:38,395 --> 00:32:39,963
I would rather clean gum off the floor.
827
00:32:39,988 --> 00:32:43,754
Sit your ass on that stool
and take people's money.
828
00:32:43,779 --> 00:32:44,870
No fucking way.
829
00:32:44,895 --> 00:32:47,179
You want to take that sunny,
people-pleasing attitude
830
00:32:47,204 --> 00:32:49,589
of yours and go look
for another job? Go ahead.
831
00:32:49,614 --> 00:32:51,866
Rikers might be hiring. Okay.
832
00:32:52,047 --> 00:32:54,300
We're clear. I'm leaving.
833
00:32:54,808 --> 00:32:56,216
It's nice seeing you.
834
00:32:56,271 --> 00:32:58,606
Don't make me come down here again.
835
00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:00,997
- MAN: Snake.
- WOMEN: Snake,
836
00:33:01,022 --> 00:33:02,899
snake, snake, snake.
837
00:33:02,965 --> 00:33:06,051
Snake. [HISSING]
838
00:33:09,314 --> 00:33:10,941
[LAUGHTER]
839
00:33:10,966 --> 00:33:13,135
♪ Mister Santa ♪
840
00:33:13,607 --> 00:33:16,380
♪ Bring me some toys ♪
841
00:33:16,405 --> 00:33:18,699
♪ Bring Merry Christmas
to all girls and boys... ♪
842
00:33:18,724 --> 00:33:20,445
I've got five minutes for a toast,
843
00:33:20,470 --> 00:33:21,824
and then I'm on the clock.
844
00:33:21,888 --> 00:33:24,237
- Happy holidays.
- Merry Christmas.
845
00:33:24,262 --> 00:33:26,163
Here's mud in your eye.
846
00:33:26,188 --> 00:33:27,708
♪ And dream about the presents... ♪
847
00:33:27,733 --> 00:33:30,026
Oh, my. Vivian mixed this, didn't she?
848
00:33:30,051 --> 00:33:32,035
- How'd you know?
- Wild guess.
849
00:33:32,066 --> 00:33:33,356
Finger, please.
850
00:33:33,381 --> 00:33:34,549
Who gets the pretty gift?
851
00:33:34,574 --> 00:33:36,284
Harriet got a modeling job.
852
00:33:36,330 --> 00:33:37,843
In Paris. Could you die?
853
00:33:37,868 --> 00:33:39,403
Oh, that's wonderful.
854
00:33:39,428 --> 00:33:41,276
Christmas in Paris.
855
00:33:41,347 --> 00:33:43,057
With French guys.
856
00:33:43,082 --> 00:33:45,881
Here's to Charles Boyer!
857
00:33:46,283 --> 00:33:48,709
ALL: To Charles Boyer!
858
00:33:49,055 --> 00:33:50,890
How about we get Viv
a little Christmas coffee
859
00:33:50,926 --> 00:33:52,324
before she goes back on the floor,
860
00:33:52,349 --> 00:33:54,037
so she doesn't start eating
the lipsticks again.
861
00:33:54,062 --> 00:33:55,461
[CHUCKLES] Will do.
862
00:33:55,486 --> 00:33:57,336
Oh, I forgot to ask about your date.
863
00:33:57,454 --> 00:33:59,790
Is he the one, or the one right now?
864
00:34:00,777 --> 00:34:02,935
- Well, well, well.
- [GIGGLES]
865
00:34:02,976 --> 00:34:05,457
God bless us, everyone!
866
00:34:05,482 --> 00:34:08,026
- What's that mean?
- It's the end of Christmas Carol.
867
00:34:08,224 --> 00:34:09,600
It's a book.
868
00:34:09,641 --> 00:34:11,851
Always with the books, geez.
869
00:34:12,154 --> 00:34:14,093
[MOUTHING]
870
00:34:14,151 --> 00:34:18,905
♪ Give every reindeer
a hug and a squeeze ♪
871
00:34:19,014 --> 00:34:22,766
♪ I'll be good, as good can be ♪
872
00:34:22,798 --> 00:34:26,196
♪ Mister Santa, don't forget me... ♪
873
00:34:26,376 --> 00:34:30,355
♪ Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, bom,
bom, bom, bom, bom. ♪
874
00:34:30,504 --> 00:34:32,290
Congratulations, mademoiselle.
875
00:34:32,315 --> 00:34:34,190
- A Viv special?
- A Viv special.
876
00:34:34,215 --> 00:34:35,550
I can smell it from here.
877
00:34:35,575 --> 00:34:37,413
I want postcards from Paris.
878
00:34:37,438 --> 00:34:38,565
Mais oui.
879
00:34:38,590 --> 00:34:39,675
Hey!
880
00:34:40,013 --> 00:34:41,438
Penny... What are you...
881
00:34:41,463 --> 00:34:43,507
I have been all over
town looking for you.
882
00:34:43,532 --> 00:34:45,617
- Penny, I'm working right now.
- Oh, I know.
883
00:34:45,713 --> 00:34:47,673
I know you're working
because Joel said you worked
884
00:34:47,698 --> 00:34:48,829
in a department store.
885
00:34:48,854 --> 00:34:50,306
He just didn't say which one.
886
00:34:50,331 --> 00:34:52,328
So I went to all of them.
887
00:34:52,353 --> 00:34:54,606
I went to Saks. I went to Bergdorf's.
888
00:34:54,631 --> 00:34:56,842
I went to Macy's. I went to Gimbels.
889
00:34:56,867 --> 00:34:59,227
They're across the street from
each other, so that was easy.
890
00:34:59,252 --> 00:35:00,413
I went to Lord & Taylor's.
891
00:35:00,438 --> 00:35:02,010
I went to Bendel's,
even though I thought,
892
00:35:02,035 --> 00:35:03,095
"She wouldn't shop at Bendel's,"
893
00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:04,220
but it's not really about
894
00:35:04,245 --> 00:35:05,591
where you would shop, is it?
895
00:35:05,616 --> 00:35:07,478
- Not really. Look, can we...
- I almost gave up.
896
00:35:07,503 --> 00:35:10,286
But I decided, "No,
I'll give it one more try."
897
00:35:10,311 --> 00:35:12,313
And I came here, and here you are.
898
00:35:12,338 --> 00:35:15,216
- Yes. Look...
- I know all about you and Joel.
899
00:35:15,241 --> 00:35:17,026
I know that you spent
the night together.
900
00:35:17,051 --> 00:35:19,232
And I think that's rotten. It's mean
901
00:35:19,257 --> 00:35:20,671
and it's spiteful and vindictive
902
00:35:20,696 --> 00:35:22,256
and I don't understand why you'd do it.
903
00:35:22,281 --> 00:35:24,161
Wow. Where's a fainting couch
when you need one?
904
00:35:24,186 --> 00:35:25,394
Joel and I were happy.
905
00:35:25,460 --> 00:35:26,907
- Oh, boy.
- I made him happy.
906
00:35:26,932 --> 00:35:28,682
- He moved out, Penny.
- Not really.
907
00:35:28,707 --> 00:35:30,292
- Are his things there?
- There's socks.
908
00:35:30,403 --> 00:35:32,395
Socks? Or just a sock?
909
00:35:32,542 --> 00:35:34,043
He moved out. You broke up.
910
00:35:34,124 --> 00:35:35,501
No. We did not break up.
911
00:35:35,629 --> 00:35:37,366
Joel never said the words,
"We broke up."
912
00:35:37,391 --> 00:35:39,266
- What words did he say?
- Other words.
913
00:35:39,291 --> 00:35:41,291
Other words that basically
amount to "we broke up"?
914
00:35:41,316 --> 00:35:42,620
I was good for him.
915
00:35:42,645 --> 00:35:45,063
Better for him than you were.
He relaxed around me.
916
00:35:45,088 --> 00:35:46,926
He'd come home at night
and fall right to sleep.
917
00:35:46,951 --> 00:35:48,619
Boy, you are making it way too easy.
918
00:35:48,644 --> 00:35:49,996
If you had just let go,
if you had just...
919
00:35:50,021 --> 00:35:51,617
He never took off his wedding ring.
920
00:35:51,642 --> 00:35:53,013
You didn't think that was strange?
921
00:35:53,038 --> 00:35:55,415
The stress of everything
made his fingers swell.
922
00:35:56,127 --> 00:35:59,306
Penny, you don't really
believe that, do you?
923
00:36:01,952 --> 00:36:03,787
He would've forgotten you.
924
00:36:03,835 --> 00:36:06,754
You just did something.
925
00:36:07,431 --> 00:36:09,186
You need to go.
926
00:36:09,528 --> 00:36:12,149
You did sleep together, didn't you?
927
00:36:12,663 --> 00:36:14,809
- Yes.
- Tramp!
928
00:36:14,979 --> 00:36:16,633
That's what I went to seven different
929
00:36:16,658 --> 00:36:17,951
department stores to say!
930
00:36:17,976 --> 00:36:20,300
You are a tramp!
931
00:36:23,344 --> 00:36:25,262
We need to have a talk.
932
00:36:25,287 --> 00:36:27,372
Bring your handbook.
933
00:36:35,706 --> 00:36:36,748
What do you do?
934
00:36:36,773 --> 00:36:38,108
Spoken word with tambourine.
935
00:36:38,346 --> 00:36:40,098
Your parents must be thrilled.
936
00:36:40,140 --> 00:36:42,110
Okay. 8:30.
937
00:36:42,352 --> 00:36:43,590
Can I get some change?
938
00:36:43,641 --> 00:36:45,101
Fuck off.
939
00:36:45,126 --> 00:36:47,616
Oh, yeah. Singles okay?
940
00:36:47,641 --> 00:36:48,638
What do you do?
941
00:36:48,663 --> 00:36:50,623
Carter Family covers.
942
00:36:50,746 --> 00:36:52,004
11:30.
943
00:36:52,029 --> 00:36:53,968
How'd you get Imogene to let you
come out with me tonight?
944
00:36:53,993 --> 00:36:55,859
I explained this is a big deal for you.
945
00:36:55,884 --> 00:36:57,678
You needed your second by your side.
946
00:36:57,703 --> 00:36:59,330
So if I bomb, you're going up?
947
00:36:59,355 --> 00:37:00,715
Nope. You bomb, I look the other way.
948
00:37:00,740 --> 00:37:02,261
Never met you.
949
00:37:04,324 --> 00:37:05,613
Hi, there.
950
00:37:05,638 --> 00:37:07,448
- Remember me?
- No.
951
00:37:07,473 --> 00:37:09,314
- I'm the one with the brisket.
- No.
952
00:37:09,339 --> 00:37:10,847
Actually, my wife
would bring the brisket,
953
00:37:10,872 --> 00:37:13,266
but it was for me to get me a spot.
954
00:37:13,457 --> 00:37:16,295
So, how about I owe you a
brisket and you give me a spot?
955
00:37:16,550 --> 00:37:17,583
No.
956
00:37:17,608 --> 00:37:20,537
Okay. Hey, that is a great blouse.
957
00:37:20,562 --> 00:37:21,766
Barking up the wrong tree, pal.
958
00:37:21,791 --> 00:37:23,939
Right. Look, I'd really love a spot.
959
00:37:24,119 --> 00:37:25,662
Anything you could do?
960
00:37:25,871 --> 00:37:27,429
I don't give out the spots anymore.
961
00:37:27,454 --> 00:37:28,709
Got to talk to him.
962
00:37:28,734 --> 00:37:29,855
Tell him he's got a nice ass.
963
00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:31,549
That usually works.
964
00:37:32,091 --> 00:37:34,844
Okay, thanks.
965
00:37:35,315 --> 00:37:36,499
Hi.
966
00:37:36,524 --> 00:37:38,367
I'm a comedian.
I'd like a slot tonight.
967
00:37:38,392 --> 00:37:39,820
Sorry, pal. All full.
968
00:37:39,980 --> 00:37:41,507
You sure?
969
00:37:41,532 --> 00:37:45,828
Just gave the last one
to that guy or that guy.
970
00:37:45,971 --> 00:37:48,682
I don't know. One of those guys
got the last slot.
971
00:37:48,707 --> 00:37:51,355
What if I come back tonight
just in case someone drops out?
972
00:37:51,506 --> 00:37:53,788
That's a pretty fucking stupid idea.
973
00:37:53,927 --> 00:37:55,767
Okay. Then I'll try again tomorrow.
974
00:37:55,882 --> 00:37:57,634
And the next day,
and the day after that
975
00:37:57,659 --> 00:37:59,285
because I am going to get a slot
976
00:37:59,505 --> 00:38:01,730
and I am going to get back up
on that stage.
977
00:38:01,755 --> 00:38:03,132
Cue the orchestra.
978
00:38:03,157 --> 00:38:06,119
What do I care?
Come back whenever you want.
979
00:38:06,203 --> 00:38:07,422
Let's go, Arch.
980
00:38:07,447 --> 00:38:08,975
Mr. Persistency.
981
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:10,381
This is what Midge wanted.
982
00:38:10,406 --> 00:38:11,742
She wanted me to be a comedian
983
00:38:11,767 --> 00:38:13,475
and I just didn't try hard enough.
984
00:38:13,500 --> 00:38:15,461
So, now, I do this for Midge
985
00:38:15,486 --> 00:38:18,948
because from now on,
she gets everything she wants.
986
00:38:22,222 --> 00:38:23,640
MIDGE: Papa?
987
00:38:30,899 --> 00:38:33,152
[THUMPING]
988
00:38:33,318 --> 00:38:35,525
- Papa?
- ABE: Yes?
989
00:38:37,902 --> 00:38:39,236
What are you doing?
990
00:38:39,324 --> 00:38:41,201
Alphabetizing my books.
991
00:38:41,789 --> 00:38:43,643
Can I talk to you for a moment?
992
00:38:43,687 --> 00:38:45,536
Okay.
993
00:38:45,836 --> 00:38:48,045
Are you... y-you're gonna do it
from there?
994
00:38:48,070 --> 00:38:50,322
I think that's what
we're looking at, yes.
995
00:38:50,424 --> 00:38:52,009
Okay.
996
00:38:52,537 --> 00:38:57,098
Well, I just wanted to tell you
that Joel and I
997
00:38:57,123 --> 00:38:59,038
might be getting back together.
998
00:39:00,643 --> 00:39:02,578
Are you kidding me?
999
00:39:03,838 --> 00:39:06,844
After what you put your mother
and me through,
1000
00:39:06,894 --> 00:39:09,809
you have the nerve
to come in here and tell me
1001
00:39:09,834 --> 00:39:11,749
you're getting back together?
1002
00:39:11,774 --> 00:39:14,062
- I...
- She's not speaking to me.
1003
00:39:14,146 --> 00:39:16,391
She took my study. Look at me.
1004
00:39:16,531 --> 00:39:19,117
Look at what I have
to do every single day
1005
00:39:19,142 --> 00:39:20,976
because you wouldn't
let Joel come back!
1006
00:39:21,001 --> 00:39:22,693
- I'm sorry.
- No!
1007
00:39:22,718 --> 00:39:25,345
- "No" what?
- No, I forbid it.
1008
00:39:25,370 --> 00:39:28,126
You forbid me to get back
together with my husband?
1009
00:39:28,151 --> 00:39:30,041
Yes, I forbid it.
1010
00:39:30,122 --> 00:39:33,276
You have laid waste to everyone
1011
00:39:33,301 --> 00:39:35,311
and everything around you.
1012
00:39:35,336 --> 00:39:36,879
It's been like a typhoon.
1013
00:39:36,904 --> 00:39:39,641
The Red Cross should start
handing out blankets.
1014
00:39:39,666 --> 00:39:41,585
You have ruined everybody's life
1015
00:39:41,707 --> 00:39:44,423
and now that there's no more
havoc to wreak,
1016
00:39:44,528 --> 00:39:46,208
you want to get back together
1017
00:39:46,233 --> 00:39:48,986
and be happy. No.
1018
00:39:49,028 --> 00:39:53,199
You don't get to be happy
until I can get to my piano!
1019
00:39:53,306 --> 00:39:55,558
Papa, I am so sorry.
1020
00:39:55,583 --> 00:39:58,470
I really am. I-I didn't mean
for any of this to happen.
1021
00:39:58,495 --> 00:40:00,630
I didn't mean to upset your lives.
1022
00:40:00,655 --> 00:40:02,057
ABE: Ugh.
1023
00:40:02,102 --> 00:40:05,145
I've just missed him so much.
1024
00:40:06,226 --> 00:40:08,008
I miss being married.
1025
00:40:08,173 --> 00:40:11,212
I miss having someone to laugh with,
1026
00:40:11,660 --> 00:40:14,496
someone next to me at night.
1027
00:40:15,298 --> 00:40:17,059
Are you sure?
1028
00:40:19,298 --> 00:40:21,217
I love him.
1029
00:40:21,748 --> 00:40:23,268
Goddamn it!
1030
00:40:23,305 --> 00:40:27,476
Goddamn it! Goddamn it! I'm fine.
1031
00:40:28,604 --> 00:40:29,964
Oy.
1032
00:40:29,989 --> 00:40:33,201
And I thought your teenage years
were a problem.
1033
00:40:33,338 --> 00:40:35,376
Well, look on the bright side.
1034
00:40:35,584 --> 00:40:36,752
Still might not happen.
1035
00:40:37,060 --> 00:40:38,926
Don't tease.
1036
00:40:39,010 --> 00:40:43,029
I'm a different person now
than when he left.
1037
00:40:43,845 --> 00:40:45,639
He might not like the new me.
1038
00:40:47,234 --> 00:40:49,094
People change.
1039
00:40:51,124 --> 00:40:54,669
You know who your mother
was when I first met her?
1040
00:40:55,364 --> 00:40:59,034
She had just come back from France.
1041
00:40:59,182 --> 00:41:02,121
She smoked cigarettes.
1042
00:41:02,816 --> 00:41:05,277
She wore a beret.
1043
00:41:05,773 --> 00:41:07,573
- She ate.
- Stop.
1044
00:41:07,598 --> 00:41:10,781
I once shared an entire
chocolate cake with her.
1045
00:41:11,804 --> 00:41:14,275
That was a great night.
1046
00:41:14,994 --> 00:41:18,933
But now... she's different.
1047
00:41:19,972 --> 00:41:21,349
She changed.
1048
00:41:21,374 --> 00:41:23,835
Ah, I'm sure I changed.
1049
00:41:23,939 --> 00:41:27,473
I'm not as limber as I once was,
that's for sure.
1050
00:41:28,494 --> 00:41:30,646
But I still love her.
1051
00:41:31,942 --> 00:41:34,205
[SIGHS] Change...
1052
00:41:35,410 --> 00:41:37,496
part of marriage.
1053
00:41:39,735 --> 00:41:41,571
- If he loves you...
- He does.
1054
00:41:41,596 --> 00:41:43,598
If he loves you,
1055
00:41:44,249 --> 00:41:46,750
and you can forgive...
1056
00:41:49,587 --> 00:41:51,573
ah, who the hell knows?
1057
00:41:52,123 --> 00:41:53,970
Just, please...
1058
00:41:54,112 --> 00:41:59,684
please, don't tell your mother
unless you're very, very sure.
1059
00:41:59,854 --> 00:42:02,190
- Okay.
- Because if I come home
1060
00:42:02,332 --> 00:42:05,409
and she's moved me
into the kids' room...
1061
00:42:06,186 --> 00:42:08,772
- I'll have to kill you.
- I understand.
1062
00:42:08,887 --> 00:42:12,891
I'll feel bad about it,
but it will happen.
1063
00:42:20,466 --> 00:42:22,706
- You need a hand?
- No.
1064
00:42:22,938 --> 00:42:25,921
Not sure which way I want to go.
1065
00:42:27,803 --> 00:42:29,480
If you need me, just holler.
1066
00:42:29,505 --> 00:42:31,132
Mm-hmm.
1067
00:42:31,590 --> 00:42:33,217
Yeah, definitely.
1068
00:42:33,242 --> 00:42:34,981
Ha, this is it.
1069
00:42:35,006 --> 00:42:37,342
Wow. This place ever new?
1070
00:42:37,598 --> 00:42:38,780
Doubt it.
1071
00:42:38,883 --> 00:42:40,217
[LAUGHING]: Hey.
1072
00:42:40,359 --> 00:42:41,860
Maybe I should take up an instrument.
1073
00:42:41,885 --> 00:42:43,633
We could have an act,
take it on the road.
1074
00:42:43,658 --> 00:42:45,224
Wait, hear that?
1075
00:42:45,666 --> 00:42:48,466
I think that was Imogene
passing out somewhere.
1076
00:42:48,967 --> 00:42:50,847
Hey, I'm looking for party albums.
1077
00:42:50,872 --> 00:42:53,464
Uh, downstairs, but don't touch
anything without gloves on.
1078
00:42:53,489 --> 00:42:55,325
Is that to protect the records or me?
1079
00:42:55,967 --> 00:42:57,052
[ARCHIE CHUCKLES]
1080
00:42:57,093 --> 00:42:58,419
Oy, tough crowd.
1081
00:42:58,535 --> 00:43:00,431
- Let's go downstairs.
- WOMAN: Play it again.
1082
00:43:00,456 --> 00:43:03,031
- I swear I know her.
- MAN: Okay, here you go.
1083
00:43:03,109 --> 00:43:04,750
MIDGE [ON REEL-TO-REEL
RECORDER]: I gave him kids.
1084
00:43:04,775 --> 00:43:06,211
- A boy and a girl.
- [LAUGHS]
1085
00:43:06,236 --> 00:43:07,954
And, yes, our little girl
is looking more and more
1086
00:43:07,979 --> 00:43:09,680
like Winston Churchill every day.
1087
00:43:09,774 --> 00:43:12,773
- [BOTH LAUGH] -You know,
with that big Yalta head?
1088
00:43:12,798 --> 00:43:13,932
But that's not a reason
to leave, right?
1089
00:43:13,957 --> 00:43:15,118
That's Barbra Mellon.
1090
00:43:15,143 --> 00:43:17,103
No, it's not. I asked her.
1091
00:43:17,781 --> 00:43:19,184
MIDGE: Walk of shame.
1092
00:43:19,209 --> 00:43:21,899
Walk of shame.
1093
00:43:22,586 --> 00:43:26,006
I loved him and I showed him...
1094
00:43:26,296 --> 00:43:27,745
WOMAN: I love this part.
1095
00:43:27,770 --> 00:43:28,980
MIDGE: All that shit they say
1096
00:43:29,005 --> 00:43:30,783
about Jewish girls in the bedroom?
1097
00:43:30,808 --> 00:43:33,192
Not true. There are French whores
1098
00:43:33,217 --> 00:43:35,325
standing around
the Marais District saying,
1099
00:43:35,799 --> 00:43:37,698
[FRENCH ACCENT]: "Did you hear
what Midge did to..."
1100
00:43:37,723 --> 00:43:38,974
What the hell is this?
1101
00:43:38,999 --> 00:43:40,338
It's not for sale.
1102
00:43:43,621 --> 00:43:46,207
[WOMAN GASPS]
1103
00:43:46,571 --> 00:43:47,864
Hey.
1104
00:43:53,274 --> 00:43:54,857
- Joel.
- Not now, Archie.
1105
00:43:54,882 --> 00:43:56,103
What the hell was that?
1106
00:43:56,128 --> 00:43:58,839
It's just... I just...
1107
00:44:04,494 --> 00:44:06,896
Belter is located just seven miles
1108
00:44:06,921 --> 00:44:09,006
from the California Institute
of Technology,
1109
00:44:09,031 --> 00:44:12,764
which gives us the opportunity
to recruit the expertise
1110
00:44:12,789 --> 00:44:15,454
at CalTech to overhaul
its current production methods.
1111
00:44:15,496 --> 00:44:17,706
My growing expertise
1112
00:44:17,731 --> 00:44:20,132
in corporate organizational structure,
1113
00:44:20,157 --> 00:44:24,369
coupled with my newfound passion
for-for, uh...
1114
00:44:36,528 --> 00:44:38,112
I quit.
1115
00:44:41,396 --> 00:44:42,872
What?
1116
00:44:50,831 --> 00:44:53,376
Oh, you got to be kidding me.
Jesus Christ.
1117
00:44:53,531 --> 00:44:54,991
- Hey, Lenny.
- It's you?
1118
00:44:55,107 --> 00:44:56,660
I'm sorry. They wouldn't
let me in without paying.
1119
00:44:56,685 --> 00:44:58,469
Yes, that's how
a business usually operates.
1120
00:44:58,494 --> 00:44:59,499
Look, I had to talk to you.
1121
00:44:59,524 --> 00:45:01,407
Don't you ever send a message
to anyone saying,
1122
00:45:01,432 --> 00:45:02,456
"Your drug dealer is outside."
1123
00:45:02,481 --> 00:45:04,340
That could go wrong in so many ways.
1124
00:45:04,372 --> 00:45:05,917
- Have you heard about this?
- What?
1125
00:45:05,942 --> 00:45:07,136
Look.
1126
00:45:08,133 --> 00:45:09,301
Sophie Lennon?
1127
00:45:09,326 --> 00:45:10,662
Yes, yes, I heard.
1128
00:45:10,687 --> 00:45:11,813
I rejoiced.
1129
00:45:11,838 --> 00:45:13,035
Sophie Lennon's a hack.
1130
00:45:13,060 --> 00:45:14,263
Plus, she owes me money.
1131
00:45:14,288 --> 00:45:16,215
I wrote some jokes for her.
Never paid me.
1132
00:45:16,240 --> 00:45:17,800
Good jokes, too,
but she said her audience
1133
00:45:17,825 --> 00:45:19,412
doesn't know the word "cunnilingus."
1134
00:45:19,437 --> 00:45:20,560
Yeah, well, because of that show,
1135
00:45:20,585 --> 00:45:22,025
Amanda Gleason has been blackballed.
1136
00:45:22,050 --> 00:45:23,277
Who's Amanda Gleason?
1137
00:45:23,302 --> 00:45:24,782
She's the comic who took down Lennon.
1138
00:45:24,807 --> 00:45:26,495
Amanda Gleason is a terrible name.
1139
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:28,155
I know. She knows. We all know.
1140
00:45:28,180 --> 00:45:29,260
The name's not the problem.
1141
00:45:29,285 --> 00:45:30,714
- What's the problem?
- The problem is
1142
00:45:30,739 --> 00:45:32,678
she's been blackballed.
She can't get a gig anywhere
1143
00:45:32,703 --> 00:45:34,407
and I've been blackballed
along with her.
1144
00:45:34,432 --> 00:45:36,580
- You understand "blackballed"?
- I understand blackballed.
1145
00:45:36,684 --> 00:45:38,244
- So...
- It's terrible.
1146
00:45:38,269 --> 00:45:40,354
What do you want from me?
1147
00:45:40,379 --> 00:45:42,589
I need you to do a show
at the Gaslight.
1148
00:45:42,896 --> 00:45:44,715
I don't do basket houses anymore.
1149
00:45:44,740 --> 00:45:46,054
I wear big boy pants now.
1150
00:45:46,079 --> 00:45:47,845
Just do this as a favor to me?
1151
00:45:47,870 --> 00:45:49,997
For you? I don't owe you anything.
1152
00:45:50,260 --> 00:45:51,700
Now, if you really were my dealer...
1153
00:45:51,725 --> 00:45:53,305
Fine. Don't do it for me.
1154
00:45:53,386 --> 00:45:54,483
Do it for Midge.
1155
00:45:54,508 --> 00:45:56,002
- Midge?
- Yeah.
1156
00:45:56,053 --> 00:45:57,613
Midge.
1157
00:45:58,494 --> 00:46:00,120
Oh, Midge.
1158
00:46:00,902 --> 00:46:02,614
Well, well, well.
1159
00:46:02,962 --> 00:46:05,548
All hail the Upper West Side.
1160
00:46:06,205 --> 00:46:07,521
So?
1161
00:46:07,743 --> 00:46:10,996
["HAVA NAGILA"
BY THE BARRY SISTERS PLAYING]
1162
00:46:16,644 --> 00:46:18,646
[MIDGE SHOUTS, LAUGHS]
1163
00:46:21,005 --> 00:46:23,880
♪ Hava nagila, hava nagila ♪
1164
00:46:23,905 --> 00:46:27,075
♪ Hava, nagila venis mecha ♪
1165
00:46:27,123 --> 00:46:30,376
♪ Hava nagila, hava nagila ♪
1166
00:46:30,401 --> 00:46:33,404
♪ Hava nagila venis mecha ♪
1167
00:46:33,429 --> 00:46:36,640
♪ Hava neranena, hava neranena ♪
1168
00:46:36,703 --> 00:46:40,081
♪ Hava neranena, venis mecha ♪
1169
00:46:40,244 --> 00:46:43,247
♪ Hava neranena, hava neranena ♪
1170
00:46:43,272 --> 00:46:46,525
♪ Hava neranena, venis mecha ♪
1171
00:46:46,550 --> 00:46:49,928
♪ Uru, uru achim ♪
1172
00:46:49,953 --> 00:46:51,663
♪ Uru achim belev sameach ♪
1173
00:46:51,688 --> 00:46:53,273
♪ Uru achim belev sameach ♪
1174
00:46:53,298 --> 00:46:54,841
♪ Uru achim belev sameach ♪
1175
00:46:54,866 --> 00:46:56,493
♪ Uru achim belev sameach ♪
1176
00:46:56,518 --> 00:46:58,061
♪ Uru achim ♪
1177
00:46:58,086 --> 00:47:01,298
♪ Uru achim... ♪
1178
00:47:01,511 --> 00:47:02,658
You're up next.
1179
00:47:02,683 --> 00:47:04,769
- These are your relatives?
- Mine? No.
1180
00:47:04,831 --> 00:47:07,209
They're definitely not mine.
I don't think.
1181
00:47:07,591 --> 00:47:09,509
Maybe they're the cousins
from Florida or...
1182
00:47:09,751 --> 00:47:11,614
I have some family in Ottawa, but...
1183
00:47:12,106 --> 00:47:14,559
Holy shit, who the hell
are these people?
1184
00:47:14,584 --> 00:47:16,618
- MIDGE: They're chorus boys.
- They're what?
1185
00:47:16,643 --> 00:47:17,786
Chorus boys. Dancers.
1186
00:47:17,811 --> 00:47:19,646
I... what?
1187
00:47:20,138 --> 00:47:21,945
I wanted to make sure there were
great dancers at our wedding,
1188
00:47:21,970 --> 00:47:24,225
so I hired some chorus boys from
Pajama Game to come and dance.
1189
00:47:24,276 --> 00:47:25,734
Two of them did "Steam Heat."
1190
00:47:26,022 --> 00:47:27,732
Notice the great hat work.
1191
00:47:27,854 --> 00:47:30,857
I'm sorry. You hired ringers
to dance at our wedding?
1192
00:47:31,111 --> 00:47:32,489
Yes.
1193
00:47:32,527 --> 00:47:34,487
- Okay, come on.
- Wait, where are we going?
1194
00:47:34,512 --> 00:47:35,679
To find the rabbi.
1195
00:47:35,752 --> 00:47:37,712
I'm marrying you all over again.
1196
00:47:42,011 --> 00:47:43,490
Ooh, that's good.
1197
00:47:43,531 --> 00:47:45,051
Someone should do something with that.
1198
00:47:45,076 --> 00:47:46,994
Keep moving.
1199
00:47:47,389 --> 00:47:50,851
Rabbi, is the chuppah still up?
1200
00:47:51,685 --> 00:47:54,105
♪ ♪
1201
00:48:05,551 --> 00:48:07,178
[SIGHS]
1202
00:48:35,707 --> 00:48:36,841
All right, ankle.
1203
00:48:36,866 --> 00:48:38,451
Eight.
1204
00:48:38,681 --> 00:48:41,851
Left ankle, eight.
1205
00:48:42,173 --> 00:48:45,502
Right calf, 11.
1206
00:48:45,759 --> 00:48:49,459
Left calf, 11.
1207
00:48:49,783 --> 00:48:52,820
Yeah. Still got it.
1208
00:48:54,939 --> 00:48:57,358
[PHONE RINGS]
1209
00:49:00,786 --> 00:49:01,980
Hello?
1210
00:49:02,005 --> 00:49:04,341
Blue, green... green?
1211
00:49:04,366 --> 00:49:06,882
Not green. Did green. Felt green.
1212
00:49:07,195 --> 00:49:09,406
Oh, red. No. Pink. Crap.
1213
00:49:09,431 --> 00:49:11,668
Take a breath.
Never stress dress, Midge.
1214
00:49:11,693 --> 00:49:13,438
- Never stress dress.
- Miriam?
1215
00:49:17,864 --> 00:49:20,867
I don't suppose you'd like to go
with me to the beauty parlor?
1216
00:49:21,269 --> 00:49:22,977
I'd love to.
1217
00:49:23,016 --> 00:49:24,890
- But, you can't?
- Not right now.
1218
00:49:24,915 --> 00:49:26,750
Well, I wasn't talking about right now.
1219
00:49:26,788 --> 00:49:28,334
- Oh.
- It's night right now.
1220
00:49:28,409 --> 00:49:30,536
- Yes.
- I was talking about some other time.
1221
00:49:30,561 --> 00:49:32,144
Some other time would work.
1222
00:49:33,445 --> 00:49:35,906
So, where are you going?
1223
00:49:39,991 --> 00:49:41,826
You're not gonna tell me, are you?
1224
00:49:43,712 --> 00:49:46,364
Or, if you do,
you're just going to lie.
1225
00:49:50,479 --> 00:49:53,968
So, it's all different now, isn't it?
1226
00:50:00,923 --> 00:50:02,257
Mama.
1227
00:50:06,626 --> 00:50:08,878
I'm still your daughter.
1228
00:50:09,790 --> 00:50:11,209
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
1229
00:50:13,100 --> 00:50:15,770
That dress needs pearls.
1230
00:50:19,872 --> 00:50:22,166
- [JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
- [LIVELY CHATTER]
1231
00:50:41,272 --> 00:50:42,690
Excuse me, coming through.
1232
00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:44,593
MAN: Hey. Whoa.
1233
00:50:44,655 --> 00:50:47,055
Seriously, the amount of time
it takes you to get anywhere...
1234
00:50:47,080 --> 00:50:48,680
- What's going on here?
- Doesn't matter.
1235
00:50:48,729 --> 00:50:50,186
- You got your book?
- Got the book.
1236
00:50:50,268 --> 00:50:51,849
I need you to be great tonight.
1237
00:50:51,874 --> 00:50:54,168
No pressure, but I need you
to be perfect tonight.
1238
00:50:54,642 --> 00:50:56,477
No pressure, but if ever
there was a night
1239
00:50:56,502 --> 00:50:57,963
that everything in the world
depends on how great
1240
00:50:57,988 --> 00:50:59,600
and perfect you are, it's tonight.
1241
00:50:59,625 --> 00:51:00,978
- No pressure.
- Pressure, yeah, I got it.
1242
00:51:01,003 --> 00:51:02,272
Thanks for taking the pressure off.
1243
00:51:02,297 --> 00:51:04,149
- I thought I wasn't allowed back here.
- You're not.
1244
00:51:04,174 --> 00:51:05,665
I thought you weren't allowed
to give me stage time.
1245
00:51:05,690 --> 00:51:07,273
- I'm not.
- Then what the hell is going...
1246
00:51:07,298 --> 00:51:09,909
Jesus, you giving out free cars
tonight or what?
1247
00:51:09,934 --> 00:51:11,143
This is all for you, asshole.
1248
00:51:11,168 --> 00:51:12,836
Hello, Amanda Gleason.
1249
00:51:12,984 --> 00:51:14,990
What are you doing?
What is going on here?
1250
00:51:15,078 --> 00:51:17,116
I am doing what is unheard of
in this business.
1251
00:51:17,141 --> 00:51:18,351
It's called a very nice thing.
1252
00:51:18,397 --> 00:51:19,731
Oh, well, then, thank you.
1253
00:51:19,756 --> 00:51:21,174
Thank Susie. She set this up.
1254
00:51:21,559 --> 00:51:22,870
Are you going on like that?
1255
00:51:22,895 --> 00:51:25,105
Thank you. What? No.
1256
00:51:25,149 --> 00:51:26,501
Is there gonna be a snowstorm in here?
1257
00:51:26,526 --> 00:51:28,412
- No.
- You keepin' it clean for the Hasids?
1258
00:51:28,437 --> 00:51:30,299
It's coming off. It's coming off.
1259
00:51:33,446 --> 00:51:35,323
[CHATTER, LAUGHTER CONTINUES]
1260
00:51:41,384 --> 00:51:42,518
MIDGE: Susie...
1261
00:51:42,543 --> 00:51:44,648
LENNY: She did.
She shoved a paper in my face...
1262
00:51:44,835 --> 00:51:46,837
[CONVERSATION CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY]
1263
00:51:56,613 --> 00:51:57,679
Okay.
1264
00:51:57,704 --> 00:52:00,505
So, I'm going up there
to do a set, for nothing.
1265
00:52:00,614 --> 00:52:02,987
I'm going to say,
"Hello, blah, blah, blah,"
1266
00:52:03,012 --> 00:52:04,738
and then I'm gonna
hand the mic off to you.
1267
00:52:04,763 --> 00:52:06,610
The only thing I ask... No, demand...
1268
00:52:06,635 --> 00:52:08,837
I am not introducing you
as Amanda Gleason.
1269
00:52:08,862 --> 00:52:10,293
You've got to find a
better fucking name.
1270
00:52:10,318 --> 00:52:12,376
- Way ahead of you.
- Okay. You ready?
1271
00:52:12,448 --> 00:52:14,575
- I...
- Sure you are.
1272
00:52:15,451 --> 00:52:17,163
How did you do this?
1273
00:52:17,381 --> 00:52:19,216
Lots of perverted sex acts.
1274
00:52:19,241 --> 00:52:20,993
I'll have skinned knees for a month.
1275
00:52:22,742 --> 00:52:24,248
Wow.
1276
00:52:24,645 --> 00:52:25,929
Good look?
1277
00:52:25,954 --> 00:52:27,384
[EXHALES SHARPLY] The look.
1278
00:52:27,409 --> 00:52:29,022
JACKIE: Okay, ladies and gentlemen,
1279
00:52:29,047 --> 00:52:31,301
I can't believe these words
are coming out of my mouth,
1280
00:52:31,326 --> 00:52:32,734
but here I go.
1281
00:52:32,759 --> 00:52:35,653
Welcome to the stage, Lenny Bruce!
1282
00:52:35,910 --> 00:52:38,788
[LOUD CHEERING]
1283
00:52:46,532 --> 00:52:47,726
LENNY: Good evening,
1284
00:52:47,751 --> 00:52:49,837
ladies, gentlemen,
1285
00:52:50,139 --> 00:52:51,567
and all the undecided.
1286
00:52:51,592 --> 00:52:52,718
[LAUGHTER]
1287
00:52:52,743 --> 00:52:54,120
I'm your host for the evening.
1288
00:52:54,248 --> 00:52:56,542
Now, I have promised the powers that be
1289
00:52:56,567 --> 00:52:59,278
that I will perform
my little dog and pony show
1290
00:52:59,303 --> 00:53:01,305
for all you fine people, but,
1291
00:53:01,330 --> 00:53:03,678
before I do, I have a favor to ask.
1292
00:53:04,033 --> 00:53:07,319
I have a friend who's been going
through some of the same shit
1293
00:53:07,344 --> 00:53:08,929
that I've gone through lately,
1294
00:53:08,954 --> 00:53:10,813
and I don't want to get on a rant here,
1295
00:53:10,838 --> 00:53:12,423
but Stalin would be very proud.
1296
00:53:12,448 --> 00:53:13,906
[LAUGHTER]
1297
00:53:13,957 --> 00:53:16,485
So, indulge me, because
1298
00:53:16,510 --> 00:53:18,498
I think she's going to be very big
1299
00:53:18,523 --> 00:53:21,158
and she's a hell of a lot
easier on the eyes than I am.
1300
00:53:21,183 --> 00:53:23,757
Please welcome to the stage,
a very classy lady,
1301
00:53:24,011 --> 00:53:25,959
my friend...
1302
00:53:25,990 --> 00:53:28,826
I'm actually gonna let her
introduce herself to you.
1303
00:53:28,851 --> 00:53:30,620
Okay. Get up here.
1304
00:53:30,645 --> 00:53:32,021
[APPLAUSE]
1305
00:53:32,520 --> 00:53:33,743
Susie...
1306
00:53:33,768 --> 00:53:35,937
Go show 'em how it's done.
1307
00:53:36,583 --> 00:53:38,965
MAN: All right, yeah!
1308
00:53:39,290 --> 00:53:41,709
Thank you. Hi!
1309
00:53:41,771 --> 00:53:43,397
[LOUDER, OVER MICROPHONE]: Thank you.
1310
00:53:43,422 --> 00:53:45,422
Wow, so nice, considering
you thought you were here
1311
00:53:45,447 --> 00:53:47,276
to see Lenny Bruce, and instead,
you have to listen to me
1312
00:53:47,301 --> 00:53:48,751
- for a while.
- [LAUGHTER]
1313
00:53:48,964 --> 00:53:52,342
I promise to insult the Pope
and read you my court documents
1314
00:53:52,367 --> 00:53:54,744
- before the evening is over.
- [LAUGHTER]
1315
00:53:54,796 --> 00:53:59,050
So, let's see, what can I talk about?
1316
00:53:59,199 --> 00:54:01,284
Going through a pretty dull time
in my life.
1317
00:54:01,826 --> 00:54:05,658
Oh! My husband's girlfriend
attacked me at work yesterday.
1318
00:54:05,683 --> 00:54:08,924
- [SCATTERED LAUGHTER] -You know
what that's like, huh, ladies?
1319
00:54:09,055 --> 00:54:11,516
Really? No one?
1320
00:54:11,584 --> 00:54:13,712
Oh, good, then you'll love this.
1321
00:54:13,737 --> 00:54:16,806
So, my husband left me three months ago
1322
00:54:16,831 --> 00:54:18,591
for his teenage secretary.
1323
00:54:18,616 --> 00:54:21,118
However, the other night
he came home...
1324
00:54:21,143 --> 00:54:22,937
for some clean underwear and a fuck.
1325
00:54:22,962 --> 00:54:24,714
[LAUGHTER]
1326
00:54:25,035 --> 00:54:26,411
Actually, just for the underwear.
1327
00:54:26,436 --> 00:54:28,120
I threw in the fuck for free.
1328
00:54:28,596 --> 00:54:32,065
Anyhow, Lolita found out
and, boy, was she steamed.
1329
00:54:32,143 --> 00:54:35,063
She couldn't believe I'd have the nerve
1330
00:54:35,144 --> 00:54:37,480
to sleep with my husband.
1331
00:54:37,789 --> 00:54:39,114
She thought that was mean.
1332
00:54:39,139 --> 00:54:41,694
And vindictive. And she has a point.
1333
00:54:41,746 --> 00:54:44,575
After all, she has a teddy bear
he won for her at Coney Island.
1334
00:54:45,079 --> 00:54:47,355
All I've got is a wedding ring
1335
00:54:47,405 --> 00:54:49,115
and two kids who called him "Daddy."
1336
00:54:49,838 --> 00:54:52,097
Who cares if I was there first,
this girl
1337
00:54:52,122 --> 00:54:54,237
put a lot of work into luring him away.
1338
00:54:54,262 --> 00:54:55,972
I mean, she had to...
1339
00:54:56,059 --> 00:55:00,105
- have a vagina.
- [LOUD LAUGHTER]
1340
00:55:00,266 --> 00:55:03,536
Pretty low bar. But pretty high vagina.
1341
00:55:03,578 --> 00:55:04,954
She's tall.
1342
00:55:04,979 --> 00:55:07,773
- [LAUGHTER]
- And dumb. I mean, she's pretty,
1343
00:55:07,798 --> 00:55:09,235
but I'm pretty sure
NASA doesn't have her
1344
00:55:09,260 --> 00:55:10,785
on its short list for job openings.
1345
00:55:10,918 --> 00:55:14,129
Anyhow, yesterday she drags
her giant vagina into my work
1346
00:55:14,338 --> 00:55:15,714
and starts yelling at me.
1347
00:55:15,739 --> 00:55:18,033
And after a while,
I start yelling back.
1348
00:55:18,112 --> 00:55:19,613
And she's saying, "You stole him,"
1349
00:55:19,649 --> 00:55:21,067
and I'm saying, "I was there first."
1350
00:55:21,092 --> 00:55:22,593
And she says, "I was there second,"
1351
00:55:22,618 --> 00:55:24,243
and I say, "That's a very
immature argument,"
1352
00:55:24,268 --> 00:55:26,079
and she says, "Do you want to
buy some Girl Scout cookies?"
1353
00:55:26,104 --> 00:55:27,732
And I say, "No,"
and she says, "You're sure?"
1354
00:55:27,757 --> 00:55:29,047
And I say,
"Do you have vanilla creams?"
1355
00:55:29,072 --> 00:55:30,908
And she says, "No,"
and I said, "You bitch!"
1356
00:55:31,192 --> 00:55:33,652
[LOUD LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE]
1357
00:55:33,821 --> 00:55:35,143
And everyone in the store is staring,
1358
00:55:35,168 --> 00:55:38,171
and I'm starting to wonder,
who's right here?
1359
00:55:38,585 --> 00:55:41,021
I mean, was it really fair
to lure Joel back
1360
00:55:41,046 --> 00:55:42,756
with the promise of
coherent conversation
1361
00:55:42,781 --> 00:55:44,617
and unlimited clean jockey shorts?
1362
00:55:44,642 --> 00:55:46,436
I just assumed I had that right.
1363
00:55:46,461 --> 00:55:50,007
I really thought you find a guy,
you give it up, you get married.
1364
00:55:50,285 --> 00:55:52,621
Oh, no, wait. You get married,
then you give it up.
1365
00:55:52,724 --> 00:55:55,185
Get married, then give it up.
I got to write that down.
1366
00:55:55,212 --> 00:55:58,549
Anyhow, my point is,
with the ring came the sex.
1367
00:55:58,574 --> 00:56:00,058
Exclusive sex.
1368
00:56:00,083 --> 00:56:02,085
Right? Something to count on.
1369
00:56:02,291 --> 00:56:04,252
Something you know is yours.
1370
00:56:04,406 --> 00:56:07,400
Like a social security number
1371
00:56:07,810 --> 00:56:10,563
or a family history of insanity.
1372
00:56:10,618 --> 00:56:11,661
[LAUGHTER]
1373
00:56:11,783 --> 00:56:13,320
But apparently, it's not.
1374
00:56:13,345 --> 00:56:15,306
He left. She took him.
1375
00:56:15,382 --> 00:56:18,302
Did I relinquish my rights
when he walked out the door?
1376
00:56:18,358 --> 00:56:19,705
Is that how it works?
1377
00:56:19,730 --> 00:56:21,523
Now, did it always work that way
1378
00:56:21,548 --> 00:56:23,425
and I just didn't read the fine print?
1379
00:56:23,608 --> 00:56:25,193
What are the fucking rules?
1380
00:56:25,218 --> 00:56:28,263
I mean, not the fucking rules,
the "fucking" rules.
1381
00:56:28,388 --> 00:56:30,306
Who gets first "fucking" rights?
1382
00:56:30,513 --> 00:56:31,850
- [LAUGHTER]
- Hey.
1383
00:56:31,875 --> 00:56:33,335
MIDGE: Is it first come, first serve?
1384
00:56:33,620 --> 00:56:35,154
- Finders keepers...
- Hey!
1385
00:56:35,179 --> 00:56:36,858
- ...losers eventually go blind?
- How did you get in
1386
00:56:36,883 --> 00:56:39,630
- without paying?
- So, this is you, huh?
1387
00:56:39,705 --> 00:56:41,958
- What?
- That!
1388
00:56:42,492 --> 00:56:44,060
You got her into this, right?
1389
00:56:44,085 --> 00:56:45,712
Got her to go up there like that?
1390
00:56:45,737 --> 00:56:48,254
Got her to stand up there
and talk about our life.
1391
00:56:48,389 --> 00:56:50,602
- Hey, she says what she wants.
- Talk about me.
1392
00:56:50,627 --> 00:56:52,129
She must just find you amusing.
1393
00:56:52,154 --> 00:56:54,004
I know I find you
completely ridiculous.
1394
00:56:54,029 --> 00:56:55,630
You don't give a shit
what you're doing.
1395
00:56:55,655 --> 00:56:56,763
I'm not doing anything.
1396
00:56:56,788 --> 00:56:58,875
You're breaking up a family!
1397
00:56:59,480 --> 00:57:01,315
That's the mother
of my children up there
1398
00:57:01,340 --> 00:57:03,768
talking trash about me in front
of a bunch of strangers.
1399
00:57:03,843 --> 00:57:05,674
Well, you got to admit, it's
better than her talking trash
1400
00:57:05,699 --> 00:57:07,619
about you in front of a bunch
of people you know.
1401
00:57:07,644 --> 00:57:08,995
Are you happy?
1402
00:57:09,020 --> 00:57:10,485
Are you happy
that you've ruined my life?
1403
00:57:10,510 --> 00:57:12,686
Hey, I didn't fuck my secretary.
That was you!
1404
00:57:12,711 --> 00:57:14,271
You don't know anything about me.
1405
00:57:14,296 --> 00:57:16,055
Oh, buddy, I know
so much more than you think.
1406
00:57:16,080 --> 00:57:17,508
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
1407
00:57:17,533 --> 00:57:20,494
You are ripped right out of
a bullshit male catalogue.
1408
00:57:20,629 --> 00:57:22,881
King of the mansion, spoiled brat.
1409
00:57:22,906 --> 00:57:24,973
Who do you go home to, huh?
1410
00:57:24,998 --> 00:57:26,625
What do you know about having a family?
1411
00:57:26,650 --> 00:57:28,718
Nothing! And thank God.
1412
00:57:28,743 --> 00:57:31,288
'Cause if I had to go home to
you, I'd set the house on fire.
1413
00:57:31,313 --> 00:57:33,482
- Fuck you!
- No, fuck you, Sal Mineo!
1414
00:57:33,507 --> 00:57:35,050
Get the hell away from me.
1415
00:57:35,075 --> 00:57:37,106
Midge has a path now, a career.
1416
00:57:37,131 --> 00:57:39,717
And she's gonna be a star and
you are just gonna be that guy
1417
00:57:39,742 --> 00:57:41,529
sitting at some loser bar every night
1418
00:57:41,554 --> 00:57:43,139
pointing to the television set saying,
1419
00:57:43,187 --> 00:57:45,440
"I used to be married to her,
but I fucking blew it!"
1420
00:57:45,574 --> 00:57:47,243
MIDGE: Wing it.
1421
00:57:47,268 --> 00:57:49,450
And how come men seem to get
a completely different
1422
00:57:49,475 --> 00:57:51,060
- set of rules to follow?
- MAN: Hey!
1423
00:57:51,297 --> 00:57:54,175
Hey, go home and clean the kitchen!
1424
00:57:54,290 --> 00:57:55,795
MIDGE: Oh, sir, I'm Jewish.
1425
00:57:55,820 --> 00:57:58,615
- I pay people to do that.
- [LAUGHTER]
1426
00:57:58,892 --> 00:58:00,519
Women aren't funny.
1427
00:58:00,544 --> 00:58:02,379
Your wife must have a sense of humor.
1428
00:58:02,452 --> 00:58:03,828
She's seen you naked.
1429
00:58:03,916 --> 00:58:05,851
- [LOUD LAUGHTER]
- [AUDIENCE OOHING]
1430
00:58:05,876 --> 00:58:07,854
I'm sorry.
I thought we were truth telling.
1431
00:58:07,879 --> 00:58:09,211
You're a dumb bitch.
1432
00:58:09,236 --> 00:58:13,449
- Oh, who told you?
- [LAUGHTER]
1433
00:58:15,464 --> 00:58:18,801
What can I say? All the good men
are taken, ladies.
1434
00:58:18,916 --> 00:58:22,837
[APPLAUSE]
1435
00:58:22,979 --> 00:58:24,628
Now, where were we?
1436
00:58:28,647 --> 00:58:30,607
MAN: Uptown or downtown, boys?
Where are we goin'?
1437
00:58:30,738 --> 00:58:32,842
Hey, asshole!
1438
00:58:32,867 --> 00:58:34,945
Oh, so you answer to asshole, asshole?
1439
00:58:34,970 --> 00:58:36,847
What's your problem?
1440
00:58:38,241 --> 00:58:39,367
MAN 2: Whoa, hey! Hey!
1441
00:58:39,489 --> 00:58:41,754
- Hey, what are you doing?
- Get off!
1442
00:58:42,187 --> 00:58:44,055
- Come on!
- What the hell are you doing?
1443
00:58:44,080 --> 00:58:45,506
MAN 3: Hey, buddy,
you're gonna kill him.
1444
00:58:45,531 --> 00:58:47,285
WOMAN: Get out of here!
1445
00:58:48,210 --> 00:58:50,086
[PEOPLE SHOUTING]
1446
00:58:50,111 --> 00:58:52,733
- Are you crazy?!
- Come on.
1447
00:58:53,371 --> 00:58:54,786
She's good!
1448
00:58:55,138 --> 00:58:57,052
She's fucking good!
1449
00:58:57,748 --> 00:58:59,291
Hey, get out of here!
1450
00:58:59,395 --> 00:59:01,063
Keep walking.
1451
00:59:01,452 --> 00:59:04,147
[EXCITED CHATTER CONTINUES]
1452
00:59:04,519 --> 00:59:06,549
She's good.
1453
00:59:09,653 --> 00:59:11,363
She's good.
1454
00:59:13,822 --> 00:59:16,158
[LOUD LAUGHTER]
1455
00:59:16,327 --> 00:59:18,308
MIDGE: But if we didn't have
our husbands,
1456
00:59:18,337 --> 00:59:20,840
- what would we have to talk about?
- [LAUGHTER]
1457
00:59:21,021 --> 00:59:23,177
You have been a great audience,
ladies and gentlemen.
1458
00:59:23,202 --> 00:59:24,437
That's it for me.
1459
00:59:24,462 --> 00:59:26,255
My name is Mrs. Maisel.
1460
00:59:26,280 --> 00:59:28,260
Thank you and good night!
1461
00:59:28,360 --> 00:59:31,363
[LOUD CHEERING]
1462
00:59:35,083 --> 00:59:40,083
synced & corrected by PopcornAWH
www.addic7ed.com
1463
00:59:40,225 --> 00:59:46,064
♪ I used to know this old scarecrow ♪
1464
00:59:46,387 --> 00:59:49,212
♪ He was my song ♪
1465
00:59:53,469 --> 00:59:58,265
♪ My joy and sorrow ♪
1466
01:00:01,917 --> 01:00:07,276
♪ Cast alone between the furrows ♪
1467
01:00:07,696 --> 01:00:09,907
♪ Of a field ♪
1468
01:00:12,022 --> 01:00:18,737
♪ No longer sown by anyone ♪
1469
01:00:25,077 --> 01:00:29,790
♪ I held a dandelion ♪
1470
01:00:30,479 --> 01:00:35,484
♪ That said the time had come ♪
1471
01:00:36,661 --> 01:00:41,582
♪ To leave upon the wind ♪
1472
01:00:44,992 --> 01:00:49,079
♪ Not to return ♪
1473
01:00:50,746 --> 01:00:56,544
♪ When summer burned the earth again ♪
1474
01:00:59,085 --> 01:01:02,380
♪ Oh ♪
1475
01:01:05,963 --> 01:01:10,717
♪ Oh ♪
1476
01:01:15,610 --> 01:01:21,157
♪ Cultivate the freshest flower. ♪
106610
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