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I arrange luxury vacations
for the 1% to see Asia.
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This is you? No.
3
00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:07,310
You should say yes in future. Why?
If they think we work in tourism,
4
00:00:07,360 --> 00:00:09,350
they'll give us a load
of freebies and shit.
5
00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:11,660
I'm Sam Bevan from exclusiveasia.com.
6
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We can guarantee that you'll be
heavily featured on our home page.
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I've failed at everything, May!
8
00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:17,500
No. Yes! You didn't, Greg.
9
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I really like her.
10
00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:20,950
And I think she likes me too.
Let me probe her for a bit.
11
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,670
Find out if she actually likes you.
12
00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:23,820
Whoa, Dylan!
13
00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:25,980
He tried to kiss me.
You're an arsehole, Dyl.
14
00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:28,260
Dylan, he's gone.
15
00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,900
"I just need to be by
myself to find myself."
16
00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:32,080
It's a Search and Rescue!
17
00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:44,740
Excuse me.
I'm looking for Mount Everest.
18
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Mount Everest.
19
00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:54,400
Sorry, sorry, OK. It's OK.
I'll give you money.
20
00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:58,560
No, no, no, no.
I'm trying to give it back!
21
00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:02,620
I'll give it back. Aargh!
22
00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:04,640
Take that. Plus interest.
23
00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:06,720
Oof!
24
00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:09,520
You! You!
25
00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:41,260
You nearly gave me a heart attack.
26
00:01:41,320 --> 00:01:43,580
I'm so sorry. It's Sam, isn't it?
27
00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:44,980
Yes. And you?
28
00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:48,580
I feel... I want to say, Dildo?
29
00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:50,340
Dylan. Dylan. Yeah. Right.
30
00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:53,340
My friend Sean calls me Dildos
sometimes. Is he not with you?
31
00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:56,380
What happened to him?
We kind of fell out.
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Ah. Classic.
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00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:00,540
Did he do that? Sorry, sorry.
34
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Yeah. He did.
35
00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:04,060
What,
you were in love with the same girl?
36
00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:06,800
Boy, ladyboy, whatever?
Yeah... Uh, girl.
37
00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:10,110
I don't really want to go into it,
if I'm honest.
38
00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:11,590
Cool, cool, cos actually, I got...
39
00:02:11,640 --> 00:02:15,260
Basically, we slept together in
Vietnam and then I broke it off.
40
00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:16,830
And then he said he really liked her,
41
00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:19,820
so I said I'd help him and
ended up not doing that at all,
42
00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:21,270
trying to sleep with her again.
43
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I just didn't know what I was doing.
44
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I mean...
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I hate myself.
46
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:28,350
So what was the endgame here?
47
00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:31,310
You were going to commit suicide by
throwing yourself in front of a car?
48
00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:34,540
I was going to climb Everest and
try and get some perspective.
49
00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:36,180
Just the old climb up Everest
50
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,980
That costs about $80,000
and two months of training.
51
00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:41,660
I still don't know what I'm doing.
52
00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:43,500
Did you say you were in Vietnam?
53
00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:48,960
Yeah, Vietnam, China,
Malaysia, Thailand.
54
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Here. Here we are.
55
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Dildo, this is your lucky day.
56
00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:04,030
What do you mean?
I'm not gonna leave a fellow traveller
57
00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:06,820
stranded here and suffering.
That is not my style.
58
00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:08,870
Are you sure? Of course I'm sure.
I'm a travel advisor.
59
00:03:08,920 --> 00:03:11,740
I am not a travel advisor.
I have to stop saying that.
60
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,740
I'm sorry. Just get in.
61
00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:14,940
What happened?
62
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,100
Eurgh!
63
00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:17,780
Do not get me started.
64
00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:20,920
Genuinely do hang on tight.
I'm a shitty driver.
65
00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:32,220
Right, eyes peeled, people.
66
00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:35,300
This is like a big old
game of hide and seek.
67
00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:37,590
Just like when I was a nipper.
Although, of course,
68
00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:40,190
that was usually in my
grandma's garden rather than...
69
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:41,640
Nepal!
70
00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:47,020
It will be gravy, brother.
71
00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:49,460
Find Dilbot, fix things up with Ash.
72
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:50,870
Everything back to normal.
73
00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:53,430
I just don't feel I can handle
normal any more, though, Greg.
74
00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:55,830
Sure you can. Normal is normal.
Everyone can handle normal.
75
00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:57,480
It's normal. No.
76
00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:01,340
I like her too much. Yeah?
77
00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:02,860
I like her too much.
78
00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:05,400
Oh, sure. Yeah.
79
00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:13,160
You should talk to him.
80
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,910
You can't declare your
feelings for someone on a bus.
81
00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:20,020
Full of chickens.
It's hardly full of chickens.
82
00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:21,500
There's only one chicken.
83
00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:23,710
I'm going to wait till
we're somewhere more sexy.
84
00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:25,580
Oh. And he's not worried about Dylan.
85
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,630
You were right.
I should have just backed off.
86
00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:29,880
Yes, exactly, brother. Listen to Greg.
87
00:04:31,280 --> 00:04:32,950
Or, devil's advocate, try and kiss her.
88
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,390
You keep giving me different advice.
And it's all good!
89
00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:37,030
Look, she's not interested in me.
90
00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:38,860
Little kiss... She'd slap me.
91
00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:40,720
I'll slap you. Stop doing that!
92
00:04:52,280 --> 00:04:54,800
Ahhh! Kathmandu.
93
00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:56,840
OK.
94
00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:01,880
Here. Yes, Kathmandu.
95
00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:04,320
Come on!
96
00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:09,180
Come on! So some shithead
scammed a hotel in Vietnam
97
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:11,910
using my business card information,
pretending to be me.
98
00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:13,420
No! Yeah. It was...
99
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:14,750
Oh, my God... totally uncool.
100
00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:16,550
It just makes me angry hearing about it.
101
00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:19,430
Yeah, and then my boss blames me for
handing out too many business cards
102
00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:21,510
which is ridiculous,
because why have them? Yeah.
103
00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:23,870
Your boss sounds like an arsehole
if he fired you for that.
104
00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:26,430
Well, we got in an argument
which escalated quickly.
105
00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:28,790
There was some garden variety
shoving and I accidentally
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00:05:28,840 --> 00:05:30,340
nudged his cat out the window.
107
00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:31,860
I'm just getting over it now.
108
00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:33,260
Come on, baby!
109
00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,540
Come on.
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I never gave you a card, did I?
111
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No... No.
112
00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:42,480
Definitely not.
113
00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:46,280
No.
114
00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:57,100
Answering phone again.
115
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Anyone get any messages?
Yeah, welcome to Nepal.
116
00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:01,580
Calls cost £1.50... From Dyl, I mean.
117
00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:04,070
No, not from Dyl.
Have you seen his new Facebook status?
118
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,920
"Dylan J Nutkin is no longer
friends with Dylan J Nutkin."
119
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Clever.
120
00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:10,860
Oh, my God. My mom is such a maniac.
121
00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:13,060
I e-mailed her saying
I was going to Nepal,
122
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and she replies with links
to about 30 articles
123
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:16,910
on how to survive an earthquake.
124
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:18,800
Isn't that exactly what you would do?
125
00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:21,940
Oh, shit. What?
126
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:25,220
Is it from Dylan?
No, it's from Dean Martin.
127
00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:27,590
Seriously? From the Rat Pack?
I thought he was dead.
128
00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:30,820
No, Dean Martin - the Dean
from our college. Oh.
129
00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:33,270
They got my appeal and they're
inviting me in for a hearing
130
00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:35,540
with the arbitration panel. Wow!
131
00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:37,780
That's amazing.
You'll ace it, I promise.
132
00:06:37,840 --> 00:06:39,660
And I'll be by your side the whole way.
133
00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:43,660
Hey, it's all coming together.
Ash's appeal, Seano's 21st birthday.
134
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:45,820
Now all we've got to
do is scoop up old Dildo
135
00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:47,350
and then we can spend a couple of weeks
136
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,620
trekking the shit out
of them there hills.
137
00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:52,540
Come on, Mavis. Let's look down here.
138
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Wait, Sean. I'll come with you.
Coming? Yeah.
139
00:06:57,440 --> 00:06:58,580
Hey!
140
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No.
141
00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:03,920
Check that one.
142
00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:08,080
Trekking. Yes. Check in there.
What have you checked?
143
00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:11,440
Pointless. Nothing.
144
00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:16,980
He's not there.
Greg, what are you doing?
145
00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,230
I know, I know, I know. Come on.
We're looking for Dylan.
146
00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:21,310
Dylan. Down here, I reckon.
We're not shopping. Sorry?
147
00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:24,460
I need something to trek in, though,
May. Look how thin these are!
148
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,320
He'll be OK, he'll be OK.
149
00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:19,780
OK, we're here. Oh! Yay!
150
00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:21,880
It's going to be so fun! Aargh!
151
00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:31,380
If it's perspective you need,
152
00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:33,780
this is much easier
than climbing Everest.
153
00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:37,140
And you're far less likely
to get frostbite on your dick.
154
00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:39,760
Great. Yeah, I don't really want that.
155
00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:42,180
Dylan Nutkin.
156
00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:45,700
He's like a tall, white,
sort of spindly...
157
00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:48,550
Like a very gaunt Hugh Jackman.
If that makes any sense.
158
00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:51,030
He looks like this.
He looks like that. That's him.
159
00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:51,960
No. No?
160
00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:55,590
Ooh, can I have a look at
one of those while I'm here?
161
00:08:55,640 --> 00:08:56,660
Yeah, Mom. I know.
162
00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:59,660
I'll hide under a table
if there's a tremor.
163
00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:01,420
Yes, I'm in Kathmandu.
164
00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:03,340
What? No, I am.
165
00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:05,460
Stop repeating me.
166
00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:08,100
No, I'm in Kathmandu, Mom.
167
00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:09,560
Sorry, what? You're...?
168
00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:12,760
Oh, my God.
169
00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:15,440
Oh, there she is.
170
00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:26,420
That's your mum? Yeah.
171
00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:28,340
Bloody hell! In what way?
172
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,740
No! No! No. As in a good way.
173
00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:32,020
OK.
174
00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:33,460
May!
175
00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:35,340
My baby!
176
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,660
Oh, wait. You're sweaty.
OK, thanks. Hi, Mom.
177
00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:39,780
I didn't know you had a sister, May.
178
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:42,580
Just as in,
you look way too young to be a mum.
179
00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:45,860
You're not sleeping with this man,
are you? No, Mom. Obviously not.
180
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,470
Obviously not! I'm sorry, Mom.
What the hell are you doing here?
181
00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:51,750
Well, I just thought I'd drop by and
say hi, make sure everything was OK.
182
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,340
Drop by? You can drop by
things like a barbecue, Mom,
183
00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:56,020
not a backpacking trip to Nepal.
184
00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:58,790
Well, is this an inconvenient time?
Yes. Absolutely not. Yes.
185
00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:01,390
It's a bad time. We're in the middle
of looking for our friend Dylan
186
00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:03,110
and Ash and Sean are still out there,
so...
187
00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:05,700
How's that going?
Poorly. He's basically vanished.
188
00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:07,710
I tell you what.
Why don't you guys take a break
189
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:09,230
and let me take you out for lunch?
190
00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:11,230
Yes, yes...
We can do a little rummaging around.
191
00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:14,550
Oh, that sounds absolutely lovely.
No, well... That would be fantastic.
192
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:16,660
Great. I'll summon the troops. OK.
193
00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:19,820
You look like you haven't had a
proper meal in a couple of weeks.
194
00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:21,920
Mmm, thank you
195
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:28,860
What is this place?
It's a Buddhist monastery.
196
00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:31,900
It's a place where people
come to find some inner calm,
197
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:34,660
defeat the ego, release desire,
that kind of thing.
198
00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:37,840
Why do I feel like you're
taking a selfie behind my neck?
199
00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:41,500
Sorry. I just thought I'd
Instagram me in my robes.
200
00:10:41,560 --> 00:10:43,360
Can I see it for a second? Sure.
201
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:46,180
What... What...?
202
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:48,470
Listen, I've been sitting with
monks for the last 15 years
203
00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:52,340
all over this city in order to work
through some very serious shit.
204
00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:55,190
That was my iPhone 6. I know,
it's not important. Terrible thing.
205
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,310
It's a terrible thing.
Trust me when I tell you
206
00:10:57,360 --> 00:11:00,750
the only way to make any progress
whatsoever is isolation and focus.
207
00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:02,140
No social media.
208
00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:04,220
Do you understand that? Yes, yes.
209
00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:06,260
You're right. I want to change.
210
00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:09,780
Good. And...
I've got some serious shit too, Sam.
211
00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:11,540
I really do. You do.
212
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:13,940
Yeah, you do.
And I want to help you out with that,
213
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,270
so think of me as your guru.
214
00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:17,110
We're going to get through this together
215
00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:19,060
and I'm going to help you face up to
216
00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:22,240
the many, many, many, many,
many mistakes you've made.
217
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,740
Thank you. You're welcome.
218
00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:29,100
Can I just look for my phone really
quickly? The universe has it now.
219
00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:33,940
Oh, my God, Vanessa.
220
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:37,060
This food is so good. You should
have come to see us weeks ago.
221
00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:40,070
Well, I guess it's a step up from
the Happy Bird Hostel in Penang.
222
00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:42,510
Oh, big time.
Oh, I could order us a couple more rooms
223
00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:44,710
if you guys would like to stay here too.
Oh, yes!
224
00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:46,020
Here, really? Yeah. Here?
225
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:47,870
No. Stop it.
Don't try and buy our favour, Mom.
226
00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:49,880
We don't need you and your money, OK?
227
00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:53,500
So, Sean.
228
00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:56,340
How exactly are you
searching for your friend?
229
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:59,380
Just checking his Facebook,
Instagram, looking for clues.
230
00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:01,180
It's another world, isn't it, Vanessa?
231
00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:03,700
Facebook, Pokemon...
232
00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:05,350
I'm much happier with a postcard.
233
00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:06,990
I'll be genuinely honest with you.
234
00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:10,300
Well, if he's got the Find My Phone
app and you know his password,
235
00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:12,340
you can login and find his phone.
236
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:13,780
Have you done that to me?
237
00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:16,790
What? No! Hang on, how did you know
we were at the Happy Bird Hostel?
238
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:18,820
Because you told me, didn't you?
239
00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:21,660
No! Oh, my God, Mom!
240
00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:24,720
OK, look, I don't know his password.
Have you got any other ideas?
241
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:29,140
Go on. I want to know
what I'm dealing with here.
242
00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:32,820
Well, there is a website
that tells you the location
243
00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:35,540
that all the social media
posts are sent from.
244
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:38,020
- What site?
- It's on the dark web.
245
00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:39,710
The dark web? Are you kidding me?!
OK, OK.
246
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,780
Well, he posted this this morning.
247
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:44,100
Well,
it's possible some malware might be
248
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:46,750
downloaded onto your computer.
Yeah, yeah. Malware, schmalware.
249
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,590
Why don't you join a few Isis
chatrooms while you're at it, Mom?
250
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:50,910
OK, I've got the coordinates.
251
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:53,540
I'll just cut and paste
them into Google Maps.
252
00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:56,500
It's the Mahakanti
Monastery and Retreat.
253
00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:58,110
That's about five miles from here.
254
00:12:58,160 --> 00:12:59,220
Yes! Oh, we found him!
255
00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:00,680
Houston, we have a Dylan!
256
00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:03,220
I will order us a taxi.
257
00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:04,660
What do you mean, "us", Mom?
258
00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:07,660
There is no us. You're not even
supposed to be here, remember?
259
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:11,320
This is my trip. You can't just
turn up and take over. It's not OK.
260
00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:20,420
What is wrong with her?
I think she might be medically mad.
261
00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:23,420
Yeah, you made that clear.
I thought she was great, actually.
262
00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:25,860
Yeah, you made that clear too, Greg.
263
00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:27,100
Just go easy on her, May.
264
00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:29,500
You're all she's got, you know.
265
00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:31,110
She's flown out here
because she loves you.
266
00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:33,380
My mom would never do that.
No, nor mine.
267
00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:35,830
Although Barbara is pushing 70,
to be fair to her.
268
00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:37,040
OK, OK, I get it.
269
00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:40,860
What?
270
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:43,580
My God!
271
00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:45,460
It's a cult.
272
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:48,380
We leave him for 24 hours
and he joins a bloody cult.
273
00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:49,440
Namaste.
274
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:53,480
What's that douche so happy about?
275
00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:18,960
Dyl.
276
00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:21,640
Dyl! Oh, my God!
277
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:35,900
Look at your threads! Nice hiding place.
278
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:37,860
I'm really sorry I hit you, Dyl.
279
00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:41,820
It's OK. I was weak and
selfish and I deserved it.
280
00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:43,150
Yeah, I know! Well, it's cool.
281
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,590
Let's just get out of this
hippy-dippy Sunday school.
282
00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:46,940
No, I'm not leaving. What?
283
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,220
I need this.
I'm on a journey here, guys.
284
00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:51,420
What? So are we. It's called travelling.
285
00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:54,150
It's a journey of the self, though.
To find some inner peace.
286
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:56,630
Really? Sounds more like a
journey up your own asshole.
287
00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:59,460
Oh, what is this? What is this?
You can't be here.
288
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:01,150
We're in the middle of a prayer session.
289
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:02,870
What are you doing here?
It's nice to see you again,
290
00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:05,590
but you can't be here. Sorry,
love - Dylan, we're leaving, brother.
291
00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:07,100
We've got to go. No, no, no, no.
292
00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:08,830
He's not leaving. He's here with me.
293
00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:10,790
He's OK.
You need to give him time to heal.
294
00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:12,070
He... Dylan is in a lot of pain.
295
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:15,040
So you need to be good friends
and give him the time you can.
296
00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:15,780
I'm so sorry.
297
00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:16,940
I know, I know, I know.
298
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,390
How did they even find you?
I actually have to take this.
299
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:20,500
It's Dean Martin.
300
00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:22,700
Oh! From...? No, not that one.
301
00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:25,740
Hey, yeah... This is really not good.
302
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,910
OK, I'm sorry.
Can you just give me two seconds?
303
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:29,590
I'll make up for whatever I've missed.
304
00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:32,150
It doesn't work like that,
but as long as you get them out of you,
305
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:33,800
just hurry up. OK, OK. Thank you.
306
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:38,500
Seriously!
You're choosing this shit over me, Dyl?
307
00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:41,270
I'm forgiving you. I know you are.
This isn't about you, Sean.
308
00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:43,180
This is... Sam knows what I need.
309
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:46,070
Whoa, whoa, and does know how you
stole her identity in Vietnam?
310
00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:47,420
Sh-sh... She doesn't.
311
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,510
I honestly think that
Buddhism is the answer, Sean.
312
00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:50,580
Oh, grow up, Dyl.
313
00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:53,110
It's just another costume for
you to take another selfie in.
314
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,470
You flip-flop. You'll get bored
with this in a couple of days
315
00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:56,910
and just find something else to do.
316
00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:59,060
I didn't flip-flop and
I'm not a flip-flopper.
317
00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:00,230
You're wearing flip-flops.
318
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:02,430
Don't shit on this because
you don't understand it, OK?
319
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:05,820
I don't understand...? What?
Please! Just back off.
320
00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:07,960
Let me get some inner bloody peace.
321
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:13,540
This is not exactly how hide
and seek should be ending.
322
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:16,660
What is it?
323
00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:18,230
You can still do your appeal, right?
324
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:19,800
Yeah, yeah, it's just...
325
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:22,420
It's in three days.
326
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:23,640
Oh, for...
327
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:26,920
.. sake!
328
00:17:03,460 --> 00:17:06,600
This stone is so clean,
you can have your lentil curry off it.
329
00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:09,960
Well, that's not the point.
Repetitive, physical labour focuses
330
00:17:10,020 --> 00:17:12,400
us in the present moment.
331
00:17:12,460 --> 00:17:16,140
OK? So, keep brushing the square,
you'll get it.
332
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:20,880
Sorry,
you want me to scrub the whole square?
333
00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:23,240
The whole square.
Until you learn not to think.
334
00:17:24,740 --> 00:17:26,460
Thank you.
335
00:17:27,900 --> 00:17:29,660
You missed a spot.
336
00:17:30,980 --> 00:17:34,040
OK. From Kathmandu to Chicago O'Hare,
337
00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:36,760
departing tomorrow at 11:35am.
338
00:17:36,820 --> 00:17:39,320
Urgh!
339
00:17:39,380 --> 00:17:42,720
Right, so it looks like it's
just the two of us, then, Seano.
340
00:17:42,780 --> 00:17:46,920
The Great Wall-ees finally
becomes the Trek-le Brothers.
341
00:17:46,980 --> 00:17:49,240
Yeah, I'm going home too, Greg.
342
00:17:49,300 --> 00:17:52,320
Are you yanking my boy?
This is meant to be a lads' holiday
343
00:17:52,380 --> 00:17:55,320
of me and Dyl.
Yes, it still is a lads' holiday,
344
00:17:55,380 --> 00:17:57,560
now it's a lads holiday
with you and Greg!
345
00:17:57,620 --> 00:18:00,000
That's an upgrade, if anything!
346
00:18:00,060 --> 00:18:02,280
Nah, I'm over it,
I've got to get back to plumbing.
347
00:18:02,340 --> 00:18:04,320
Plumbing. Gas exam.
348
00:18:04,380 --> 00:18:06,340
Playing second fiddle to gas, now.
349
00:18:07,780 --> 00:18:09,580
That's a new low.
350
00:18:14,780 --> 00:18:17,880
Kathmandu to Chicago.
351
00:18:17,940 --> 00:18:20,460
Hey! Hey. Oh, thanks, yeah.
352
00:18:22,700 --> 00:18:26,800
24 hours, then. It's about 27, actually.
353
00:18:26,860 --> 00:18:29,080
At least I'll get to wish
you a happy birthday.
354
00:18:29,140 --> 00:18:30,740
Bonus.
355
00:18:34,060 --> 00:18:36,920
So, erm...
356
00:18:36,980 --> 00:18:41,080
we haven't really had a chance to
talk about what you said in Penang.
357
00:18:41,140 --> 00:18:43,890
Oh, yeah. Listen, sorry if I
made it weird. No, Sean, please.
358
00:18:43,940 --> 00:18:46,180
I shouldn't have said that. I like you.
359
00:18:49,260 --> 00:18:51,260
I really like you.
360
00:18:52,940 --> 00:18:55,440
I think you're the kindest,
361
00:18:55,500 --> 00:18:58,520
most genuine, and...
362
00:18:58,580 --> 00:19:01,140
overall best person I've ever met.
363
00:19:04,660 --> 00:19:07,500
I've been waiting for the
right moment to tell you.
364
00:19:10,300 --> 00:19:14,740
Weirdly, by the coffee at a crummy
hostel is as good as it's got.
365
00:19:20,620 --> 00:19:22,640
You're going in a day, you know.
366
00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:24,280
I know.
367
00:19:24,340 --> 00:19:26,160
A little more than a day.
368
00:19:26,220 --> 00:19:29,120
Or I won't go home.
369
00:19:29,180 --> 00:19:32,040
I'll stay with you,
if that's what you want.
370
00:19:32,100 --> 00:19:34,610
Well, of course I...
Of course, I want that. You know I do.
371
00:19:34,660 --> 00:19:37,080
It's just...
372
00:19:37,140 --> 00:19:38,960
You've got your appeal, haven't you?
373
00:19:39,020 --> 00:19:40,480
You got your...
374
00:19:40,540 --> 00:19:42,610
You don't want to throw
away your whole future.
375
00:19:42,660 --> 00:19:44,780
You know, because of me. It's just...
376
00:19:47,100 --> 00:19:48,700
So, what do we do, then?
377
00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:52,340
You know...
378
00:19:54,060 --> 00:19:56,840
We leave it the way it is.
379
00:19:56,900 --> 00:19:59,200
For now.
380
00:19:59,260 --> 00:20:01,320
We've been mates for seven weeks now.
381
00:20:01,380 --> 00:20:03,920
I'm sure we can manage one more day.
382
00:20:03,980 --> 00:20:05,500
And three hours.
383
00:20:08,260 --> 00:20:10,180
Yeah? OK, yeah, great.
384
00:20:12,380 --> 00:20:14,460
We'll be mates.
385
00:20:20,940 --> 00:20:22,980
Morning, Sean. Morning.
386
00:20:24,220 --> 00:20:26,360
Oh, yes!
387
00:20:26,420 --> 00:20:27,960
Vanessa. Morning.
388
00:20:28,020 --> 00:20:29,600
Sight for sore eyes.
389
00:20:29,660 --> 00:20:32,120
How are you? Take a seat.
390
00:20:32,180 --> 00:20:34,080
Morning, May.
391
00:20:34,140 --> 00:20:38,480
I'm sorry about yesterday,
and for just surprising you like that.
392
00:20:38,540 --> 00:20:40,240
I didn't mean to upset you.
393
00:20:40,300 --> 00:20:43,560
But, erm... I was thinking
of doing some sightseeing,
394
00:20:43,620 --> 00:20:46,700
and I was wondering if
maybe you wanted to go?
395
00:20:48,500 --> 00:20:49,800
Of course, she would.
396
00:20:49,860 --> 00:20:53,100
She was just saying how much
she wanted to do that, anyway.
397
00:20:54,660 --> 00:20:56,460
Yeah, sure.
398
00:21:01,220 --> 00:21:03,400
Oh, my God,
there are monkeys everywhere.
399
00:21:03,460 --> 00:21:05,890
Yeah, well, why do you think
it's called the monkey Temple?
400
00:21:05,940 --> 00:21:08,130
Well, I thought there
would be monkey carvings,
401
00:21:08,180 --> 00:21:11,210
not real-life wild monkeys
running around all over the place.
402
00:21:11,260 --> 00:21:13,280
You can catch rabies or aids.
403
00:21:13,340 --> 00:21:15,300
Only if you have sex with them.
404
00:21:18,140 --> 00:21:19,610
I wish you weren't leaving tomorrow.
405
00:21:19,660 --> 00:21:22,130
Don't try and talk me out of it,
Mum, I said I'd be there for Ash.
406
00:21:22,180 --> 00:21:24,040
I won't, it's just that, you know,
407
00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:26,810
I took to weeks off from work for
the first time this millennium,
408
00:21:26,860 --> 00:21:30,080
and I was just hoping I could
get a little more out of it.
409
00:21:30,140 --> 00:21:32,160
OK, so, I don't know.
410
00:21:32,220 --> 00:21:34,810
Maybe call Auntie Pat,
see if she'll come out and meet you?
411
00:21:34,860 --> 00:21:38,140
Patricia?
On long-haul flights, with her legs?
412
00:21:39,580 --> 00:21:41,540
Well, one of your friends?
413
00:21:43,100 --> 00:21:45,930
You work in recruitment, Mum,
surely you can recruit someone,
414
00:21:45,980 --> 00:21:47,520
or invite a colleague even?
415
00:21:47,580 --> 00:21:50,640
They're busy, they're covering for me.
416
00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:52,320
Or what about that French guy?
417
00:21:52,380 --> 00:21:54,080
I'm not talking to Pierre right now.
418
00:21:54,140 --> 00:21:56,020
Besides, I'm here to see you.
419
00:21:57,620 --> 00:22:01,440
Look, I'm sorry if you find
me irritating or intrusive.
420
00:22:01,500 --> 00:22:03,760
It's just that...
421
00:22:03,820 --> 00:22:05,600
you keep shutting me out.
422
00:22:05,660 --> 00:22:09,240
You know, I don't know what's going on.
I feel like...
423
00:22:09,300 --> 00:22:11,100
I feel like I'm losing you.
424
00:22:20,060 --> 00:22:22,090
I have some anti-monkey hand sanitizer,
by the way.
425
00:22:22,140 --> 00:22:24,490
OK, great, I was holding the
railings the whole way up.
426
00:22:24,540 --> 00:22:26,480
Yeah, yeah. Urgh! Thank you, Mum.
427
00:22:26,540 --> 00:22:28,920
OK, don't touch anything. OK.
428
00:22:28,980 --> 00:22:30,880
Careful. OK, you too.
429
00:22:30,940 --> 00:22:33,920
Do I get to ride an animal,
on this ten-day trek?
430
00:22:33,980 --> 00:22:36,080
Maybe a donkey?
431
00:22:36,140 --> 00:22:39,400
A donkey? Well, the treks are all
for the minimum of four people.
432
00:22:39,460 --> 00:22:41,240
Four people. Yeah.
433
00:22:41,300 --> 00:22:43,330
So, you can't do the trek
with one person. No, no.
434
00:22:43,380 --> 00:22:46,160
And there's no way around that? No.
435
00:22:46,220 --> 00:22:47,880
OK. Yeah, thank you.
436
00:22:47,940 --> 00:22:50,580
Take care, man.
You take care as well, brother.
437
00:23:00,860 --> 00:23:03,080
Hey, man, how are you doing?
Hey, how are you doing?
438
00:23:03,140 --> 00:23:05,040
Good, good. Are you planning a trek?
439
00:23:05,100 --> 00:23:08,080
We're planning to.
Oh, yeah? Yeah, yeah, me too.
440
00:23:08,140 --> 00:23:11,680
You know,
could be cheaper if we join forces.
441
00:23:11,740 --> 00:23:13,560
That's exactly what you said to us!
442
00:23:13,620 --> 00:23:16,200
Well, if it ain't broke.
I'm sorry, so...
443
00:23:16,260 --> 00:23:19,080
so do you do this on a regular basis?
Not really.
444
00:23:19,140 --> 00:23:21,810
That's how we became the Three
Rafteteers. And the Great Wall-ees.
445
00:23:21,860 --> 00:23:23,970
Well, which reminds me,
I'll need a name for my new lot.
446
00:23:24,020 --> 00:23:28,720
We're hikers, so, I suppose,
we should be the High... Hike...
447
00:23:28,780 --> 00:23:31,760
Hikers. The Hiker-paths.
448
00:23:31,820 --> 00:23:34,400
We should be the Hiker-paths! Sorry.
449
00:23:34,460 --> 00:23:38,600
All right. So, what are they like then,
these Hiker-paths?
450
00:23:38,660 --> 00:23:42,360
They're Swedish. We bonded over
ABBA and then named our top-five
451
00:23:42,420 --> 00:23:45,210
Tom Cruise movies of all-time.
Tom Cruise isn't Swedish.
452
00:23:45,260 --> 00:23:47,240
No. No, it's a travelling icebreaker.
453
00:23:47,300 --> 00:23:49,160
He used it on us. If it ain't broke.
454
00:23:49,220 --> 00:23:53,160
Well, how do you know they're not
actual psychopaths or thieves?
455
00:23:53,220 --> 00:23:56,120
We don't. But that's the joy of it,
that's the joy of travel!
456
00:23:56,180 --> 00:23:58,760
It's all about taking a
chance on people, on places,
457
00:23:58,820 --> 00:24:00,600
and seeing what happens, you know?
458
00:24:00,660 --> 00:24:02,940
Giving it a go.
And to hell with the risks.
459
00:24:04,940 --> 00:24:06,770
You know, I am impressed. Oh, thank you.
460
00:24:06,820 --> 00:24:09,050
I would never be able to
do something like that.
461
00:24:09,100 --> 00:24:11,300
Probably just lock myself up in my room.
462
00:24:12,420 --> 00:24:15,120
No, I don't... I don't believe
that for a second, Vanessa.
463
00:24:15,180 --> 00:24:19,680
I can imagine you wandering around
the markets, haggling for shawls.
464
00:24:19,740 --> 00:24:23,640
No. Yes, yes, yes, mais, oui.
465
00:24:23,700 --> 00:24:25,520
Hey. Hey.
466
00:24:25,580 --> 00:24:28,520
So, I need ask you something.
467
00:24:28,580 --> 00:24:31,800
It's about my mum.
I think she's lonely and worried,
468
00:24:31,860 --> 00:24:33,680
and could use a vacation.
469
00:24:33,740 --> 00:24:36,160
Yeah, I totally agree. With me, though.
470
00:24:36,220 --> 00:24:40,480
She won't do it alone. You're not
coming back with me, then, right?
471
00:24:40,540 --> 00:24:42,570
That's where this is going?
I'm really sorry.
472
00:24:42,620 --> 00:24:45,040
No, it's fine,
your role can be filled by my old buddy,
473
00:24:45,100 --> 00:24:48,280
Mr Jack Daniels!
You're joking about that, right?
474
00:24:48,340 --> 00:24:51,560
Yes! Of course,
you should go with your mum, May.
475
00:24:51,620 --> 00:24:55,300
It's just an appeal,
travel's way more... Well, appealing.
476
00:24:59,940 --> 00:25:02,160
Here we go. Ah, lovely!
477
00:25:02,220 --> 00:25:05,300
Vanessa. Time for a toast.
478
00:25:07,100 --> 00:25:12,420
Right, erm... This is not the
high point of my trip, per se.
479
00:25:13,580 --> 00:25:15,210
That'll come in another couple of days,
480
00:25:15,260 --> 00:25:19,480
when I slam my ice pick into this
summit of some mountain, somewhere.
481
00:25:19,540 --> 00:25:21,520
But no, what I wanted to say is,
482
00:25:21,580 --> 00:25:24,640
as I make my free transfer from
the Wall-ees to my new club,
483
00:25:24,700 --> 00:25:26,880
the Hiker-paths,
484
00:25:26,940 --> 00:25:28,840
I want to say to you all
485
00:25:28,900 --> 00:25:30,720
a big thank you for having me.
486
00:25:30,780 --> 00:25:33,200
And here's hoping we meet up again,
but, well...
487
00:25:33,260 --> 00:25:35,840
But we're not going to stay friends?
But you are...
488
00:25:35,900 --> 00:25:40,200
No, I'm saying, ideally, we will.
Ideally, we will stay friends.
489
00:25:40,260 --> 00:25:42,920
20 years ago,
I had a similar band of brothers.
490
00:25:42,980 --> 00:25:45,920
The Thai Bandits.
We all made a similar pledge,
491
00:25:45,980 --> 00:25:47,440
we'll stick together.
492
00:25:47,500 --> 00:25:50,480
And did we? No, not quite,
because life gets in the way.
493
00:25:50,540 --> 00:25:52,780
That's all it is.
494
00:25:54,420 --> 00:25:55,840
Well, cheers to that.
495
00:25:55,900 --> 00:25:57,850
No, that's not...
That wasn't my toast, May.
496
00:25:57,900 --> 00:25:59,970
I lost... I lost my way.
What I'm trying to say is
497
00:26:00,020 --> 00:26:01,880
thank you, you're all very wonderful,
498
00:26:01,940 --> 00:26:04,800
and I had a great time,
every minute of it, thank you.
499
00:26:04,860 --> 00:26:06,540
And I'm a goon, and I'm...
500
00:26:09,500 --> 00:26:11,200
It's appalling.
501
00:26:11,260 --> 00:26:13,500
Nepal-ing, it's absolutely Nepal-ing.
502
00:26:17,460 --> 00:26:20,760
OK. We're almost there.
503
00:26:20,820 --> 00:26:23,000
Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.
504
00:26:23,060 --> 00:26:25,320
Here is good.
505
00:26:25,380 --> 00:26:28,880
OK, great. So, erm...
506
00:26:28,940 --> 00:26:31,520
so what's this for?
Well, you're going to dig a hole.
507
00:26:31,580 --> 00:26:33,520
And you're going to
get inside that hole,
508
00:26:33,580 --> 00:26:35,810
and you're going to meditate for a very,
very long time.
509
00:26:35,860 --> 00:26:38,260
Without food, without clothing.
510
00:26:39,740 --> 00:26:42,320
Right. Great.
511
00:26:42,380 --> 00:26:45,400
Is that necessary?
512
00:26:45,460 --> 00:26:47,840
You think you deserve better than that?
No, no, no!
513
00:26:47,900 --> 00:26:50,170
You think you should be perhaps
in a hammock somewhere?
514
00:26:50,220 --> 00:26:52,530
No, I don't! Having a cupcake?
No, no, no, no, no, this is...
515
00:26:52,580 --> 00:26:55,440
this is great I want this. OK. I do.
516
00:26:55,500 --> 00:26:58,240
I deserve this. Yes, you do.
517
00:26:58,300 --> 00:26:59,920
Oh!
518
00:26:59,980 --> 00:27:02,700
Sorry,
it's not really great for digging, this.
519
00:27:06,140 --> 00:27:08,960
Sam? Yeah?
520
00:27:09,020 --> 00:27:11,840
Are you angry with me about something?
521
00:27:11,900 --> 00:27:13,480
Angry?
522
00:27:13,540 --> 00:27:16,540
Why would I be angry,
what have you ever done to me?
523
00:27:20,180 --> 00:27:23,480
Nothing! Nothing at all, just...
524
00:27:23,540 --> 00:27:26,400
silly, really.
This is all about your progress, Dylan,
525
00:27:26,460 --> 00:27:29,720
that's all I care about.
Yeah. That's all this is.
526
00:27:29,780 --> 00:27:33,960
Thank you so much. It's my pleasure,
but you're not digging fast enough.
527
00:27:34,020 --> 00:27:36,380
OK, can't wait to get in this hole.
528
00:27:41,020 --> 00:27:44,960
It's just they're difficult to nail,
toasts, by their very nature.
529
00:27:45,020 --> 00:27:48,400
I'm sorry I ruined everything.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
530
00:27:48,460 --> 00:27:50,980
I'm going to have to up
my game for the Swedes.
531
00:27:53,180 --> 00:27:54,880
Not a great send-off.
532
00:27:54,940 --> 00:27:58,360
Not even drunk.
Really need to plan better next time
533
00:27:58,420 --> 00:27:59,780
if there is a next time.
534
00:28:01,140 --> 00:28:04,240
You know, maybe Greg was right.
535
00:28:04,300 --> 00:28:07,540
Maybe it'll all feel different
when we get home, maybe...
536
00:28:21,900 --> 00:28:24,640
You've changed your tune.
537
00:28:24,700 --> 00:28:28,240
Ash, I've wasted so much time worrying,
538
00:28:28,300 --> 00:28:33,720
stopping myself from doing that,
scared of what might happen.
539
00:28:33,780 --> 00:28:36,650
And all that ever does is nothing,
happen, nothing happens.
540
00:28:36,700 --> 00:28:39,440
And I don't want that.
541
00:28:39,500 --> 00:28:42,380
I want to be with you, Ash,
even if it's just for a few hours.
542
00:28:45,860 --> 00:28:47,140
I...
543
00:29:07,420 --> 00:29:08,680
I'm coming with you.
544
00:29:08,740 --> 00:29:10,600
What, where? To the States.
545
00:29:10,660 --> 00:29:12,580
What? I'll change my flight.
546
00:29:16,900 --> 00:29:18,700
Here.
547
00:29:24,180 --> 00:29:26,240
What, here? Yeah, it's cool.
548
00:29:26,300 --> 00:29:28,300
It's romantic.
549
00:29:33,460 --> 00:29:35,140
Hey! Hey!
550
00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:38,520
No!
551
00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:46,980
Oh! My Swedes.
552
00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:48,500
Hey, Greg. Anders.
553
00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:49,750
How are you doing? I'm good.
554
00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:52,350
How are you? I'm great. And how
do you say good morning in Swedish?
555
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:54,140
It's god morgon. God morgon. Yes.
556
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:55,710
Are we ready for the hiker-paths?
557
00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:58,820
Hiker-paths! Uh-oh, we're gonna hike!
558
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:01,270
He just said hiker-paths.
I'm saying the hiker-paths.
559
00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:03,030
That's great.
Did you just come up with that?
560
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:05,060
Well, last night. It's all good.
561
00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:08,080
Oh, sorry, sorry. OK yeah, yeah.
562
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:12,500
Lavelle Kitchen Solutions,
Greg Lavelle, CEO speaking.
563
00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:14,140
Sean.
564
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:16,790
Sorry, it came up as an unknown number,
so it was a work thing.
565
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:18,740
Happy birthday!
566
00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:20,560
Where did you get to last night?
567
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:26,220
What? They've kept us here all night.
568
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:28,500
No, not yet.
569
00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:30,060
We're only allowed one call.
570
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:32,760
Well, I mean I'm touched
that you've called me.
571
00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:35,100
Um...
572
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:37,660
Yeah, I'll do my best. I'll
phone the embassies and...
573
00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:41,280
Yeah, I can do that, but I'm...
574
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:44,280
About to go hiking.
575
00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:48,800
All right.
576
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:54,020
Hey, Anders.
577
00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:56,790
Something's come up that I have to
deal with, I can't come right now.
578
00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:58,920
But what I can do is come, um...
579
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:02,430
.. like tomorrow or
come late this afternoon.
580
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:04,590
We'll be in the mountains
in a couple of hours,
581
00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:07,080
so it has to be now. I'm sorry, buddy.
582
00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:16,200
Yes, you.
583
00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:20,660
Stop. The Mahakanti monastery.
584
00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:23,300
Ma-ha-kan-ti monastery, please.
585
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:25,720
Thank you. OK, good, good, go!
586
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:39,160
This isn't going to work, is it?
587
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:53,790
We should've just stayed mates.
588
00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:56,900
Or you should've made
a move on me sooner,
589
00:31:56,960 --> 00:31:58,800
it wouldn't have been in such a rush.
590
00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:03,180
How long until your flight?
591
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:04,560
Four and a half hours.
592
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:08,820
OK, cool. I'm sure we'll
be out of here in no time.
593
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:10,830
They're probably just
looking for the right form.
594
00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:13,100
What the form for dry-humping
next to a temple
595
00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:15,660
I think it might take them
a while to find that one.
596
00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:22,300
Dylan.
597
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:24,980
Dildo!
598
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:27,540
I'm looking for Dylan. Try the forest.
599
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:29,280
OK, thank you.
600
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:32,160
Dylan!
601
00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:34,880
Dylan!
602
00:32:36,680 --> 00:32:38,060
Dylan.
603
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:40,180
Greg.
604
00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:42,140
Dylan.
605
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:43,820
Um...
606
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:45,700
Sean and Ash have been arrested.
607
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:47,740
What, why? Having it off in a temple.
608
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:49,750
Oh, my goodness,
that's not going to go down well.
609
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:51,070
No, it hasn't gone down well!
610
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:52,380
Thank you!
611
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:54,110
The embassies are doing f-all to help.
612
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:55,580
The monks are furious.
613
00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:57,420
Come on, we need to help them.
614
00:32:57,480 --> 00:32:59,740
I can't.
We're in the middle of something here.
615
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:02,300
I was going to say,
what are you doing in a hole?
616
00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:04,320
In the nuddy. I'm meditating, you know,
617
00:33:05,440 --> 00:33:06,820
getting rid of the ego.
618
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:08,060
Come on, Dyl.
619
00:33:08,120 --> 00:33:12,460
I need this.
Sam's right, I'm toxic, and I'm lost,
620
00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:13,880
and I don't know who I am.
621
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:18,220
You're Dylan Nutkin.
Not like that, Greg.
622
00:33:18,280 --> 00:33:20,420
You're Dylan Nutkin.
623
00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:21,840
You're just a normal...
624
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:24,900
.. slightly wanky guy from Kingston.
625
00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:28,420
Best friends with Sean.
626
00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:31,100
Listen brother, you're not toxic.
627
00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:32,980
You're just 20.
628
00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:35,100
I can't leave now, Greg.
629
00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:37,700
I'll end up hurting people, you know?
Dylan...
630
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:41,340
I don't feel any different,
it hasn't worked yet.
631
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:43,700
It has, actually.
632
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:46,100
Seeing you suffering like that,
in a hole,
633
00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:47,980
has really diminished my anger.
634
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:50,080
What are you talking about? Vietnam.
635
00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:52,980
You knew about that?
636
00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:54,740
I figured it out.
637
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:58,180
So you mean,
this whole thing isn't real Buddhism.
638
00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:00,160
You know, I don't know, actually, it is.
639
00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:05,100
You... are a bloody rotter.
640
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:08,030
You don't know what you're talking
about, because of him, I was fired.
641
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:10,710
Yeah, I lost my job, I lost the
expense account, a cat was injured,
642
00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:13,990
my hair is falling out from the stress. Oh,
come off it, Sam, you got yourself fired!
643
00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:15,150
How did I get myself fired?
644
00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:17,670
You threw your cat out of the
window and punched your own boss.
645
00:34:17,720 --> 00:34:20,620
That's not me! It was an accident,
I didn't punch him, I cut him.
646
00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:22,340
You cut your boss?
647
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:25,180
With keys, I cut him with keys,
this is what I'm saying,
648
00:34:25,240 --> 00:34:27,380
it's a longer story than you know about.
649
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:29,430
And you refused to take responsibility.
650
00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:32,070
I've given you ample opportunity
to admit what you did,
651
00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:34,740
and you never would.
I thought you were helping me.
652
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:37,110
You were never going to
make a breakthrough anyway,
653
00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:38,600
it's not in you.
654
00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:41,720
Well, I have, actually.
655
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:44,780
Yeah. I have.
656
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:47,300
I realise that YOU are a dick. Yes.
657
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:50,100
And I may not be the best Buddhist.
658
00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:52,220
No, you're a bad Buddhist.
659
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:55,700
But I'm pretty sure it's not
about being angry or cruel,
660
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:59,260
and you don't reach enlightenment
by turning your back on the world,
661
00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:02,390
or the people who care about you.
Actually, you do, that's the idea.
662
00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:04,020
Well, I'm out, then.
663
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:05,540
I'm going back to my friends.
664
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:09,320
Good. And you are more than
welcome to use that hole.
665
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:24,750
Do you think we should stop
and get Sean a birthday cake?
666
00:35:24,800 --> 00:35:27,350
Not on his list of priorities right now,
thank you, Dildo.
667
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:30,030
I'm so hungry, Greg.
I couldn't give a shit if you're hungry.
668
00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:31,480
Let's just get there.
669
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:38,560
Right?
670
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:41,220
You go in and see what you can do.
671
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:43,020
I'll go and get May and her mum.
672
00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:45,100
Dyl, don't do anything stupid.
673
00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:46,920
All right. All right, brother.
674
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:59,240
Or I thought we could go camel
trekking through the desert.
675
00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:03,260
Yeah, well, I will need Wi-Fi
to Skype Ash, though, mum.
676
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:04,790
If I don't project manager appeal,
677
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:08,620
she might storm in there stinking of
liquor and tell them to eat shit and
678
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:12,080
drop the mic. I seriously
doubt they'll give her a mic.
679
00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:20,380
It's OK.
680
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:22,120
Admin, I'm just here on admin.
681
00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:30,900
May! Greg, what are you doing here?
This is a woman's only spa.
682
00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:32,420
I'm sorry, I didn't see them.
683
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:34,260
What? I didn't see you.
684
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:36,470
Do not finish that sentence?
The offending articles.
685
00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:39,060
Oh, my God, Greg.
Sean and Ash have been arrested!
686
00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:41,820
What? They're in the police station,
they need your help.
687
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:43,460
Go, go, go, go.
688
00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:45,100
Did anyone call the embassy?
689
00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:47,380
They were worse than useless, Vanessa.
690
00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:50,100
OK, go, go, go, go. Towel.
691
00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:51,910
I mean,
what if they're going to execute us?
692
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:53,910
They could have the death penalty here.
693
00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:56,720
Then I guess, we should've kept going.
694
00:36:58,120 --> 00:36:59,680
Oh, my God, Sean.
695
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:02,400
We'll be fine, don't worry.
696
00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:10,480
What's that?
697
00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:14,740
What's going on?
The British Embassy released you.
698
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:17,000
Yes, I love you, Britain, I told you.
699
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:26,100
Good morning. Sorry for the delay,
only just got the message.
700
00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:28,820
I'm the British Ambassador. Nutkin.
701
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:30,300
You're British Ambassador?
702
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:32,300
That's right, fast-tracked.
703
00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:34,030
Apologies I couldn't come sooner.
704
00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:35,990
Been on the phone with
Boris all morning.
705
00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:38,900
Anyways, I'm happy to report
that's it all been dealt with.
706
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:41,700
You're free to go.
707
00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:43,560
That's great news.
708
00:37:57,220 --> 00:37:58,620
It was a good effort, Dyl.
709
00:37:59,700 --> 00:38:01,480
Yeah.
710
00:38:01,540 --> 00:38:03,360
Happy birthday, anyway.
711
00:38:03,420 --> 00:38:04,880
Cheers.
712
00:38:04,940 --> 00:38:07,320
So, what happened to you
being a Buddhist, then?
713
00:38:07,380 --> 00:38:08,920
Yeah...
714
00:38:08,980 --> 00:38:10,520
Decided to be myself for a bit.
715
00:38:10,580 --> 00:38:13,280
You know, not try any costumes on.
716
00:38:13,340 --> 00:38:15,180
Apart from this one, obviously.
717
00:38:17,900 --> 00:38:20,080
It's good to have you back, man.
718
00:38:20,140 --> 00:38:22,080
Nowhere else I'd rather be.
719
00:38:22,140 --> 00:38:24,720
Oh, get a room, you two!
720
00:38:24,780 --> 00:38:26,120
Thanks! Hey!
721
00:38:26,180 --> 00:38:27,320
Hey! You OK?
722
00:38:27,380 --> 00:38:29,610
Yeah, we're fine!
Are they telling you what's going on?
723
00:38:29,660 --> 00:38:31,120
Dylan, you absolute jizz hand!
724
00:38:31,180 --> 00:38:33,080
Why are you behind bars, you doughnut?
725
00:38:33,140 --> 00:38:35,920
Pretended to be the ambassador.
Didn't quite work out.
726
00:38:35,980 --> 00:38:37,440
Well, that's clearly obvious.
727
00:38:37,500 --> 00:38:39,520
OK,
so we talked to the station chief guy
728
00:38:39,580 --> 00:38:42,100
and it looks like the monks
want to press charges.
729
00:38:43,140 --> 00:38:44,730
Apparently it could take them weeks.
730
00:38:44,780 --> 00:38:46,360
Oh... Weeks?
731
00:38:46,420 --> 00:38:47,930
But what are the charges, though?
732
00:38:47,980 --> 00:38:50,250
They think you might have
angered the gods. Oh, my God.
733
00:38:50,300 --> 00:38:51,700
So I'm missing my appeal, then?
734
00:38:52,820 --> 00:38:53,820
That's that, right?
735
00:38:54,940 --> 00:38:57,320
I'm really sorry, Ash.
736
00:38:57,380 --> 00:38:59,560
Don't be. No, It's all my fault.
737
00:38:59,620 --> 00:39:01,240
Of course not, Sean.
738
00:39:01,300 --> 00:39:03,520
Unless... It was consensual, right?
739
00:39:03,580 --> 00:39:04,880
Don't be a dick, Dylan.
740
00:39:04,940 --> 00:39:06,920
What if it wasn't consensual?
741
00:39:06,980 --> 00:39:09,280
What if I said she was an...
Innocent victim?
742
00:39:09,340 --> 00:39:11,920
Uh, you'd be lying.
I practically jumped you.
743
00:39:11,980 --> 00:39:14,720
Yeah, but they'd let her go, right?
Sean, stop it!
744
00:39:14,780 --> 00:39:17,200
Yeah, they'd have to let her go. May!
745
00:39:17,260 --> 00:39:19,170
Let's just do that, then.
No, not happening!
746
00:39:19,220 --> 00:39:21,440
Hey! I need to report something!
Don't do that!
747
00:39:21,500 --> 00:39:23,960
It was me! It was all me!
He's lying! He's lying!
748
00:39:24,020 --> 00:39:25,290
You need to let her go, all right?
749
00:39:25,340 --> 00:39:28,040
OK, OK, you're free to go now.
750
00:39:28,100 --> 00:39:29,800
Your friend has talked to the monk.
751
00:39:31,140 --> 00:39:32,370
Your charge has been dropped.
752
00:39:32,420 --> 00:39:33,980
What? Oh, my God!
753
00:39:35,460 --> 00:39:36,460
What friend?
754
00:39:37,660 --> 00:39:40,240
Here they come. Hello!
755
00:39:40,300 --> 00:39:41,680
You! Hi!
756
00:39:41,740 --> 00:39:44,240
You do this? Yes. Well, we did.
757
00:39:44,300 --> 00:39:46,410
I think I might have
called you a rotter earlier.
758
00:39:46,460 --> 00:39:48,560
Sorry about that. It's OK.
759
00:39:48,620 --> 00:39:51,760
How? Well, he sort of owed me.
760
00:39:51,820 --> 00:39:54,040
And as a disciple of mine once said,
761
00:39:54,100 --> 00:39:56,170
"Holding anger while practising Buddhism
762
00:39:56,220 --> 00:39:59,160
"does not make much spiritual sense."
763
00:39:59,220 --> 00:40:00,900
Well, your disciple was right.
764
00:40:01,940 --> 00:40:04,400
One last thing.
I said you would make a donation
765
00:40:04,460 --> 00:40:08,600
to help fix the temple roof that
was damaged during the earthquake,
766
00:40:08,660 --> 00:40:10,720
to the tune of about $10,000.
767
00:40:10,780 --> 00:40:12,000
10...
768
00:40:12,060 --> 00:40:14,500
I should have said that up top.
I'm so sorry.
769
00:40:15,980 --> 00:40:17,580
Can I transfer the money online?
770
00:40:18,860 --> 00:40:20,960
Yes, all right, OK.
771
00:40:21,020 --> 00:40:23,640
Oh, yeah, fiscally they're very,
very modern.
772
00:40:23,700 --> 00:40:25,880
OK, well, that's my karma quotient.
773
00:40:25,940 --> 00:40:27,560
Thumbs up, buttercup.
774
00:40:27,620 --> 00:40:29,560
Shall we? OK. Please.
775
00:40:29,620 --> 00:40:30,820
Oh, please!
776
00:40:33,140 --> 00:40:35,240
Namaste.
777
00:40:35,300 --> 00:40:37,300
Who was that? Long story, but, um...
778
00:40:38,820 --> 00:40:39,820
Thanks, Mom.
779
00:40:41,340 --> 00:40:43,280
It's just nice to be needed.
780
00:40:43,340 --> 00:40:46,320
And you should go pack, by the way.
What?
781
00:40:46,380 --> 00:40:48,400
So you can go home with Ashley.
782
00:40:48,460 --> 00:40:50,180
It's clearly what you want.
783
00:40:53,340 --> 00:40:54,980
Oh! Thank you!
784
00:40:56,500 --> 00:40:58,680
So, we can just go now?
785
00:40:58,740 --> 00:41:00,360
You have to.
786
00:41:00,420 --> 00:41:02,460
You're being deported, right away.
787
00:41:08,780 --> 00:41:11,000
Well... This is it.
788
00:41:11,060 --> 00:41:12,740
Bye, May.
789
00:41:14,100 --> 00:41:16,010
I'm so glad we weren't
able to get rid of you.
790
00:41:16,060 --> 00:41:18,640
Thank you so much, May,
you're going to make me cry!
791
00:41:18,700 --> 00:41:20,040
Oh... You daft apeth.
792
00:41:20,100 --> 00:41:22,730
We're not going to lose touch,
not be like the Thai bandits.
793
00:41:22,780 --> 00:41:24,380
I swear, honestly. Ash!
794
00:41:25,700 --> 00:41:27,730
Send me postcards.
I'll send them straight back.
795
00:41:27,780 --> 00:41:31,200
Please be careful.
Don't worry about me, I'll be fine.
796
00:41:31,260 --> 00:41:36,400
It's supergreg,
supergreglevell@hotmail.com.
797
00:41:36,460 --> 00:41:37,940
All one word, two Ls. Sean.
798
00:41:39,500 --> 00:41:40,960
Please, just one second.
799
00:41:41,020 --> 00:41:43,200
Please, can you just give us a minute?
Man, God!
800
00:41:43,260 --> 00:41:44,920
Give me one second. Please.
801
00:41:44,980 --> 00:41:46,600
Just, like, one sec.
802
00:41:46,660 --> 00:41:47,740
Oh!
803
00:41:51,380 --> 00:41:54,200
OK, come and stay as soon as
you're legally allowed, OK?
804
00:41:54,260 --> 00:41:57,840
Yeah. But I might try to smuggle
my way into the country before then.
805
00:41:57,900 --> 00:41:59,120
Yeah, great idea
806
00:41:59,180 --> 00:42:02,080
Americans love people entering
their country illegally.
807
00:42:10,220 --> 00:42:12,080
Hey! No! What are you doing?
808
00:42:12,140 --> 00:42:13,920
Wait, please! We're not finished.
809
00:42:13,980 --> 00:42:15,800
Hey, Sean, Sean!
810
00:42:15,860 --> 00:42:18,560
We're going to do your 22nd
birthday on Machu Picchu OK?
811
00:42:18,620 --> 00:42:20,960
Promise me! Yup, I promise!
812
00:42:21,020 --> 00:42:22,780
Where is that? Look it up!
813
00:42:24,420 --> 00:42:26,660
Hey, don't drag her, that's not cool!
814
00:42:28,980 --> 00:42:32,280
All right. Go on, F off, away with you!
815
00:42:32,340 --> 00:42:33,380
Bye, Greg!
816
00:42:37,300 --> 00:42:38,480
Oh, thank you.
817
00:42:38,540 --> 00:42:40,730
This deportation thing
is actually pretty ideal,
818
00:42:40,780 --> 00:42:43,960
cos we can do our last two weeks
travelling just around the UK.
819
00:42:44,020 --> 00:42:45,800
We can do Avebury stone circle,
820
00:42:45,860 --> 00:42:48,450
which is kind of like a Stonehenge
but before it was famous.
821
00:42:48,500 --> 00:42:50,320
Dyl, we're not travelling any more.
822
00:42:50,380 --> 00:42:51,480
We're going home now.
823
00:42:51,540 --> 00:42:52,800
Right.
824
00:42:52,860 --> 00:42:54,960
Oh, we can also do Wordsworth's house!
825
00:42:55,020 --> 00:42:56,850
Do you know what?
I might just bite the bullet
826
00:42:56,900 --> 00:42:59,120
and join the National Trust! Wow!
827
00:42:59,180 --> 00:43:01,040
You're a psycho, you know that?
828
00:43:01,100 --> 00:43:03,320
What? Keep this gap year rolling, mate.
829
00:43:03,380 --> 00:43:04,800
It's not a gap year.
830
00:43:04,860 --> 00:43:06,140
Well, no, not yet.
831
00:43:07,860 --> 00:43:09,460
So... Where do you go from here?
832
00:43:10,780 --> 00:43:12,020
India.
833
00:43:13,620 --> 00:43:18,080
I hear Darjeeling's supposed to be
pretty banging this time of year.
834
00:43:18,140 --> 00:43:22,920
Because I hear it's cheaper
if we join forces. Yeah.
835
00:43:22,980 --> 00:43:25,860
Oh, yeah, I know for a fact it is.
836
00:43:28,940 --> 00:43:31,200
So... So. Top five Tom Cruise films.
837
00:43:31,260 --> 00:43:33,800
What do you got?
Oh, yes, please Vanessa!
838
00:43:33,860 --> 00:43:36,770
Number one, Mission: Impossible.
Number two, Mission: Impossible 2.
839
00:43:36,820 --> 00:43:38,930
Three...
Mission: Impossible 3. Four, Cocktail.
840
00:43:38,980 --> 00:43:40,890
Five, Mission:
Impossible Ghost Protocol.
841
00:43:40,940 --> 00:43:42,520
Yes! That was fast!
842
00:43:42,580 --> 00:43:44,280
I've played it before once or twice!
843
00:43:46,100 --> 00:43:48,240
You? What are yours? Um...
844
00:43:48,300 --> 00:43:49,690
I kind of like Days Of Thunder.
845
00:43:49,740 --> 00:43:52,160
Oh! Stop it.64520
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