All language subtitles for Daytime Divas - 01x08 - And the Loser is.WEBRip.x264-tbs.English.C.updated.Addic7ed.com

Previously on "Daytime Divas..."

This is a very difficult
time for our family.

I can't believe
Brad would do that to you.

Guess who's coming
to do our show. Vance Gordon.

- Your TV dad?
- Listen to me, Vance.

- Don't come anywhere near me.
- Nina, I'm so sorry.

I didn't mean any
of that crap I said before.

I don't know what we are,
but we're something.

I have to let you go.

I saw footage of you
sexuallynharassing an underling.

Uh, wanted to ask you
a few questions about

Ted Windsor's death.

I saw you talking to that detective.

I still think about
that night all the time.

I am dating a wonderful man.

- William McCann.
- She's quite a catch.

If they find out we were
together the night that Ted died

it'll look like two passionate
lovers driven to madness.

It is so good to be back

with my favorite bitches on daytime TV.

You know her from "The Lunch Hour"

but now "Morning Talk" has her
for the whole week.

Let's welcome Mo Evans.

Hey!

Guys, it is great to be here

and to think, I used to hate you guys.

'Cause every year,
you would beat "The Lunch Hour"

at the Daytime Television Awards.

Well, hopefully, we'll beat you again.

Make sure you watch
the DTAs later this week.

You know I used to feel so bad
for Maxine.

You know, losing every year.
The show is all she has.

But then we find out
that she's banging her doorman.

Hmm. That was quite the shocker.

Yeah, but you know what?
That's a pattern of Maxine.

You know, the woman doesn't
like to leave the house.

Let's check out a few other
guys that she's dated.

Can't blame Maxine for this one.
Dude's got a big plunger.

Money back if he doesn't
come in 15 minutes.

Hello!

Oh, shut up, it's not that funny.

According to the
neighbors, these missionaries

spread more than the word of God.

Pff! Friggin' batteries.

- In a good way.
- In a good way.

How do you turn this goddamn thing off?

synced and corrected by susinz
*www.addic7ed.com*

So wait a minute, last month
when I was leaving

mom's apartment and you were
bringing her that package...

Yup, it was a fake and I was going in...

- Mm. No, no, I can't.
- I remember that time...

No, no, I can't. I tried.
But at least it makes sense.

All those packages,
nothin' new in the apartment.

Did you really think
I'd order from Chico's?

Uh, paparazzi's outside.
I don't wanna encourage them.

Every time I open a door, hail
a cab, they're right in my face.

- Well, you are kinda cute.
- Oh, this came for you.

And it's a real delivery, Shawn

unlike the time when I
was coming upstairs...

I'm gonna wait outside.

Oh, my. Apologies for the paparazzi.

Once some other secret couple
comes out, we will be old news.

Until that time, I wanna lie low.

I know I said yes, but I'm not sure

about going to this award thing.

I need you, you know

to emotionally abuse
after we lose again.

Honey, these events aren't for me.

- What would I even wear?
- Ask Armani.

Honey, I know it's gotta
be strange for you.

- You and William?
- Yeah.

Honestly, I wasn't thinking about that.

I was thinking about
the night that Ted died.

I have an appointment
with that detective tomorrow.

Oh, there's no need to worry.
You know what to say.

Yeah, but I'll say
what you told me to say but...

Mom, I gotta ask.

Did I kill Ted?
Is that the question?

I don't really know
what happened that night.

Ted fell and hit his head, end of story.

Listen to me, what I'm asking
you to do is the right thing.

And then I promise,
this will all go away.

Okay, Mom.

According to the
neighbors, these missionaries

spread more than the word of God.

Oh, you gotta give it to
Mo. She's pretty rad.

- She's so funny.
- Right?

- Yeah.
- Oh, ca-caw!

Alright, ladies, we need you to settle

on your dress selections today.

- Oh.
- No exceptions.

Kibby, have you thought about wearing

an original Blessed By Heather design?

I was hoping to wear something
a little less sister-wifey.

Suit yourself,
but you know what they say.

- Modest is hottest.
- No one says that.

Who do you talk to?

Heather, is this all because your CD

is in the dollar bin at Duane Reade?

Very funny, Kibby,
my CD is not in the dollar bin.

Oh, 10,241 likes.

Maxine, have you thought
about wearing...

Heather, I'm wearing Kevan Hall.
Don't ask me again.

Fine, I'm wearing Blessed By Heather

and we will see who ends up
on the best dressed list.

Reminder, "Lunch Hour's" hosting
a gifting suite tomorrow.

As if I don't have enough work to do.

Those things are disgusting.

They just bring out the greed in people.

Oh, attendance is mandatory.

- That also means you, Nina.
- No, I'm serious.

All of this pomp and circumstance

why can't we just wear
something that we have?

You mean like that belted burqa
you wore last year?

That was a tribal Gomesi

worn in solidarity
with the gay women of Uganda

who happened to be marching
in their first pride parade.

Have you ever considered stand-up?

Just wear something great, Nina.

We wanna look hot when
we accept our award.

Oh, Kibby, we don't win.

- We never win.
- Why? We're so awesome.

We always lose to "Morning Talk".

It's kind of our thing.

So let's practice
our gracious loser face.

This is mine.

Don't steal it.

- Nina!
- Green's not my color.

That's trash.

In all my years recording the news

I've interviewed presidents,
princes, and pop stars.

But there are other voices
that I wanted to be heard.

So a decade ago, I created a show

where women could sit down and
say what's on their minds.

And, boy, do they ever.

It's just an honor to be nominated.

Such an honor.

Right, just so many incredible
people in our category.

I'm just excited for the dress.

Yes, whatever happens

the four of us are gonna look fabulous.

Actually, it'll be five of us.

Mo's nominated too,
so she'll be joining us.

- Oh, isn't that wonderful?
- Yeah.

I may have forgotten
to mention that to you.

I can't wait to see her funny face.

That's a wrap.

- Jason Abel's in your office.
- What? Why?

The network has thoughts
on our new co-host.

Oh, God help us.

Okay, so just tell me
which one you like better?

And I know,
I totally need a better nose.

Tandy, you're 15,
you're not gonna play a doctor

for, like, three years. And
you're not touching your nose.

- It's perfect.
- You are not helping me.

Why do you even wanna be an actor?

Is this mom's idea? Is she
looking for another meal ticket?

Stop! It's my idea.

Okay? I like, I like going on auditions.

- It's fun.
- Okay.

Then I guess the one
with, uh, no lab coat.

You're so lucky, you get to
go to fancy award shows.

Trust me, they suck.

Do you wanna go? I have a plus one.

- Yes.
- Okay, then pick out a dress.

- Seriously?
- Yeah, take whatever you want.

No, no, no. Not that one, bitch.

Eleven, twelve...

That got 12 million hits?

And 5 million Twitter followers.

Fine, but what does marshmallow
girl bring to the round table?

Viewers, and hopefully, the kind
of numbers we got with Mo.

- We need someone loud.
- And Mo was definitely loud.

Did you see her guest on "Morning Talk?"

- She killed.
- Honestly, I haven't seen it.

But I do know my show more than anyone

and Kali is not gonna fly.

I don't wanna tell you
how to do your job.

- Good.
- But...

we would really appreciate it
if you gave Kali a chance.

Is that network speak for do it or else?

Fine, one week.

And when Kali's a dud, she's out.

- Great.
- And no more talk about Mo.

Trust me, she doesn't have
the appeal you think she does.

Oh, God. It's so good to...

Ca-caw!

It's high heels at high noon.

Hey, Max. Happy to see me?
Your face is so toxed.

It is getting to the point
where I literally cannot tell.

Well, well, well,
look what the cat threw up

ate and then threw up again.

Well, this pussy has nine lives.

Classy. So what are you doing here?

Trolling the crew for a date
to the Daytime TV Awards?

No, I'm just here to pick up my tickets.

You do know we send them in the mail.

Uh-oh. Caught me.

Actually, I'm just here

to catch up with a few old friends.

And, uh, something else,
I just can't remember.

Oh, that's right, I'm here to brag about

how I'm killing it on "Morning
Talk". Have you seen it?

Why would I watch an imitation
when I'm doing the real thing?

I guess only the DTA voters watch.

And I hear you're havin'
a hard time replacing me.

- Is that true?
- Oh, we're fine.

We bought a new fern.

Congratulations.

You know, Maxine, I probably
shouldn't be saying this

but I'm circling an offer
from "Morning Talk"

to bring me on permanently.

Please, send my condolences
to your future co-hosts.

I won't have to, they'll
be there at the DTAs

bringing home the award
that you never ever, ever win.

I know you can't tell,
but I'm very excited

that you're about to leave.

Girl, I am so happy
you could fit me in.

Who canceled on you, Alisha or Nikki?

- Solange.
- Mm.

She had to babysit Blue Ivy.

But you didn't hear that from me.

Oh, girl, you are way
past your re-braid.

Well, I wish you would have gotten to me

before I went on "Morning Talk".

- Damn straight.
- Why?

That Bob was young and cute.

Yeah, adorable,
for taking the kids to soccer.

Now sit up straight.

- Ow!
- Girl, don't be so damn tender-headed.

So what did you think about my act?

- I was funny, right?
- It was alright.

Well, the "Morning Talk" people
seem to think I was hilarious.

In fact, you ought
to keep this on the DL.

You cannot tell any of your clients.

What?

Girl, the "Morning Talk" people
are making me an offer.

That's nice. Now sit still.

I'm 'bout to get all up
in your kitchen.

Uh, oh, wait, um,
let me use the ladies first.

But I'm serious.

You cannot tell anybody.
I could trust you, right?

Girl, uh... This is me, hm?

- Hmm.
- Mm.

- Mm-hmm.
- Alright.

I am loving my hair, Julian.

Hey, Heath, what's the 411?

I heard Mo's joining the "Morning Talk".

I'm sure she's already
told you everything.

Oh, my gosh, ladies, calm down.

My eyebrows aren't even on yet.

Look, I don't know what Mo is doing.

She's being very coy
about the whole thing.

Mo, coy? Sounds sketch.

I mean, it's all over social media.

So I'm sure it's just one press release

away from being the truth, right?

Ladies, please, table
the gossip for a moment

and meet our new guest co-host
for the week, Kali Z.

- Hello.
- Hi.

Okay, you guys, here I am

at "The Lunch Hour" with my
four new BFFs for the week.

Follow me on Snap for more updates

and maybe some behind-the-scenes
action if you're lucky.

Mwah. Love you. Sort of mean it.

Hi, just needed to Snap
something for my fans.

So what are all your names again?

You don't know who we are?

Sorry, I don't watch the show.

But I get it, you're the serious one.

You're like the conservative one

who says stupid things and
people freak out and you are...

Really annoyed right now.
Thanks for asking.

Actually, Kali,
we like to think we're more

than the labels
that the media puts on us.

And I don't say stupid things.

This is Kibby.

Wait, LOL. I know you.

You were on that show,
"Lacey" something.

And then you, like, went to rehab

and things got VV dark for a sec.

Uh, why don't we show you
where your dressing room is?

Love that. Okay, guys.

So right now, I'm going
to my dressing room.

Cool, right?
I wonder what will be inside.

- Okay, so we hate her, right?
- She called me stupid.

She scares me more than Mo.

Okay, so they're called
Power Girl Sleepovers

and basically, they're an opportunity

for badass business bitches

to get together and do face masks

all while, like, strategically

building our brands and networking.

It's a combination of
work and "Hey, girl."

Don't you think you're kind
of infantilizing women

by putting them in onesies?

LOL. No.

Kali Z's sleepovers also act

as a fundraiser of sorts. Is that true?

Uh-huh. I broadcast them
on YouTube and I ask my fans

to donate to my fave charity,
Phoneless And Homeless.

Oh, I've heard of that.

Don't you just like give
homeless people iPhones?

As I like to say, just because
you don't have a home

doesn't mean you can't have a phone.

And what about the cellphone plans

who pays for that?

Yeah, Ted and I had a fight,
it was at my graduation dinner.

Now it just seems so stupid. I-I...

if I would've known it was gonna be

the last time I was gonna see him.

So you said after you fought
with your stepfather

you went on a walk with your mother?

I needed to cool off.

What'd you talk about?

I don't know. It was 11 years ago.

I'm sure she gave me
some post-college advice like

how to do a cover letter, tips
on not getting a girl pregnant.

Wise woman.

And then I dropped her off
around midnight, I think.

- Did you go inside?
- No.

I had had enough
with my parents at that point.

I dropped her off in the lobby
and went to a party

and got graduation wasted.

Well, I-I have to
thank you, Shawn.

I'm so sorry about
dragging you down here.

Everything you said matches up
with your mom's story, so...

- Glad, I could help.
- So, your mom dating the doorman.

- I did not see that one coming.
- Same here, man, believe me.

How long do you think
they were on the DL?

A year. Uh, it's crazy, I know, but...

- It's my mom, I guess.
- Shawn, I appreciate it.

- Ooh, gift suite.
- Uh, Kali Z has got to go.

Agreed. She makes you
feel old and smart.

It's really uncomfortable.

Nina, come down here and bitch with us.

Would you look at this? They're offering

a free trip to Australia.

Ooh, Australia? I love pandas. Gimme.

No, why are they giving
rich famous people

all this free stuff when
they can afford it already?

It's so wasteful and unjust.

Oh, Nina, stop being a buzzkill

The swag room is meant to be fun.

Fun? What is fun about

participating in this gross spectacle?

Literally everything.

Oh, God. She's like a whack-a-mole.

- She just keeps popping up.
- Oh, whack-a-Mo!

- Sorry.
- Ooh. Oh, yeah.

I'll take that even though I can't go.

I'm actually banned from Australia.

Long story, but free is free.

Mo, would you be able to go anywhere

with your new "Morning Talk" schedule?

Okay, Kibby, don't even try it.

I see what you're trying
to do, but a lady never

tells her business.
You just have to wait and see.

- I'm at the edge of my seat.
- Oh, you should be.

Alright, ladies, if you will excuse me

it is time for Miss Mo to go.

Nina, baby, can I send you
some love? Mwah, mwah.

I thought you usually skip out on these

swag rooms because of your politics.

I do, but unfortunately, I've been roped

into doing a publicity
shoot for work, so...

Well, hot tip, do not pass up

this incredible crossbody clutch

by my client, Serge Pierre.

His designs are so chic,
so modern, so today

and yet also, so tomorrow.

- Do you know what I mean?
- No, I don't.

And this kind of thing really
doesn't do anything for me.

I'm... Oh.

Wow.

What's it made out of?

Hey, Mom.

So the photographer will be here in 20

but more importantly,
I talked to Detective Stagliano

and you can rest easy.

- We're all good.
- That's what I like to hear.

Maxine, just the woman
I was looking for.

- Have a moment?
- For you, Jason, of course.

Okay, I have to agree,
Kali didn't really

have the wow factor I was hoping for.

I told you. I know my audience
better than anyone.

Which is why I think
you'll agree we should stop

trying to replace Mo
and just bring her back.

Absolutely not.

There's a rumor, she's gonna be made
permanent on "Morning Talk."

There's no confirmation of that.

Twitter is confirmation enough.

If Mo goes, she takes
all of her viewers.

Why would we just give that
to our competitor?

Wait, Mo can't come back. She
got fired for sexual harassment.

We could make that go away.

Uh, she was [bleep] in my chair.
That's never going away.

All I'm asking is that
you think about it, okay?

- Will do.
- Thank you.

I just thought about it. Nope.

Yeah, I figured.

You're so pretty. Uh, ooh!

Oh, no, no, no. I'm sorry. Oh.

Hi, Star Jones.
I'm sorry, but that was my bag.

Was, past tense.

No, I don't think you understand.

- I was here first, so...
- So you're entitled to it?

Girl, there are no laws
in the gifting suite.

I should know, I'm a lawyer.

Well, then I hope you don't
object to me taking it back.

Girl, give me back that bag

or I will sue you
and represent myself in court.

Jason's got a point. We haven't
found anybody better than Mo.

That doesn't mean we won't.

You don't care that she might take her

and don't hit me for saying this

Mo magic to "Morning Talk?"

I'm not dumb. I know she's good.

I also know that's the
way the world's going.

All marshmallows
and over-sharing and loud.

It's getting hard to compete with that.

Well, maybe it's about
finding a compromise.

With Mo, there is no compromise.

The only Mo magic I wanna see
is her disappearing act.

It's not about the bag.
It is about the principle.

You keep your principles,
I will keep the bag.

Ladies, ladies, calm down.

There are cameras everywhere
and we do not need

a catfight leaking to the press.

- Speak for yourself.
- Oh, Star, baby.

You know I adore you,
but Nina did see the bag first.

Cindy, it isn't about that,
it's about the principle.

And we totally believe you when
you keep saying that, honey.

Fine, Nina can have the bag.

Congratulations, Nina.
You win this round.

But you just pissed off me, Star Jones

"New York Times" bestselling author

beloved television personality

fashion designer, women's advocate

and most of all, a friggin' lawyer.

I'd watch my back
if I were you, little girl.

Hey, Shawn. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm leaving for the DTAs now.

Which I say stands
for Dumb Trashy Accolade.

Yeah. See you soon.

Oh.

Ugh.

Um...

Oh, gosh.

Wow. What happened to the burqa?

Didn't go with my clutch.

Then the clutch made my shoes look bad.

Then all of a sudden, the
jewelry just looked so cheap.

- Powerful clutch.
- You have no idea.

Check her out.

Well, thank you.
The dress is an original

Blessed By Heather design
available online.

As well as my clutch.

Maxine, over here!

Hey, sexy doorman!

- Looks like you've got a fan.
- I guess I've arrived.

- Maxine!
- God!

I can't believe I forgot to tell you

Another amazing thing's happening.

I'm working "Fashion Cops" tonight.

Oh, good for you, Mo.

Oh, well, not so good for you, girl.

What is that dress you're wearing?

I might have to arrest you
for a hate crime.

Your ass must be jealous with all the

crap that comes out of your mouth.

Ooh, he's good.

So is this the doorman
boyfriend? He is a keeper.

I wish I could say the same
for s'more over there.

America, meet my replacement.

Kali is definitely an original.

Bit of a new direction
for us, don't you think?

Ooh, Nina love! Nina, Nina!

Come on.

- Hi.
- Brad.

Hi, what are you doing here?

I'm here with ESPN, so...

You look incredible.
Is that one of yours?

- Mm-hm.
- Turned out great.

Well, thank you.

- So do you miss me at all?
- No. Why would I?

I see your face all over the tabloids

with your new little girlfriend.

Look, I'm really sorry about that.

It was stupid. For what
it's worth, it's already over.

Well, you should know that I've
had a few adventures of my own.

But not currently.

Heather, can
I get a picture of that dress?

Of course. Oh, they love my dress.

She made it. It's Blessed
By Heather available online.

Fashion-forward and God-fearing.

Hey, sugar.

Oh, hell, no. Where's Tandy?

Thanks. You look stunning too.
Tandy had too much homework.

So you just took her ticket?

And that's the dress I gave her.

- God, you're such a bitch.
- This bitch is your mother.

Besides, a 14-year-old couldn't
rock this dress the way I can.

And the award for worst mother goes to.

Can we just go and have some fun
and get a drink or something?

- I'm an alcoholic.
- I suppose that's my fault too.

Maxine, is this your
boyfriend, the doorman?

It's William.

William is more than just a doorman.

He's a gourmet cook,
he's won two marathons

and he's a jazz aficionado.

Why don't you ask him about that?

Jazz aficionado?
I own two Miles Davis records.

- What are you doing?
- Well, the other stuff is true.

I just didn't like her attitude.
She was so smug.

You know what I think?
You're upselling.

I am a doorman.

You don't have to make me
any better than I am.

Can I mention you took
four years of tap?

No.

Serge Pierre.

Oh, my God! Nina! Nina!

Look who we have. Nina.

You are looking fabulous.
Somebody must have used

their birthday gift card from Sephora.

Oh, stop it. It's just
a little lipstick.

Shut up, honey. You look hot.

And if you were not pregnant,
I would knock you up myself.

- Hey, lady.
- Oh, my God!

- Look, who we have here.
- Star Jones!

The fabulous, beautiful,
talented Star Jones.

Oh, thank you.

Can we talk about Nina's purse?

- I'm gonna go.
- No, no, no, baby, stay.

It's a crossbody clutch by Serge Pierre.

- Yeah.
- Oh, well, it is gorgeous.

Isn't it?

Sadly, did you know

that Serge Pierre uses
a factory in India

that employs child labor?

What? No, that can't be.

Star, we did not know that.

It's a shameful practice.

Unfortunately, 90% of factories

that use slave labor go uninvestigated.

I'm surprised, Nina, even though
you're not a lawyer as I am

I would think that
a Pulitzer Prize winning

journalist would know better.

Well, you know what? We are gorgeous

and we are learning, right?

Oh my God, Vance!

Vance! Vance!

Get your butt over here.

Oh, my goodness.

Guys, look at this, it's Vance Gordon.

Many of you may know him

from his up-and-coming
mini series called "Aunt Pete"

but he will always be "Lacey
From Outer Spacey's" dad to me.

Vance Gordon.
Listen, you must give me a hug.

I can't think of a better way
to get to know each other.

Oh, my God. You know what?

I have always had
the biggest crush on you.

No. Come on, Mo, you watched
"Lacey From Outer Spacey?"

Uh, not exactly our demo.

Baby, I was not watching
for the same reason

those tweens were.

Well, hopefully you will
watch my new show.

- Do you need a wife?
- What?

Mo, I have been happily married
to Diana for 25 years.

But if you talk about on the
show, I do. I need a wife.

Well, let's get TV married.

I'll have the, uh,
network give you a ring.

- Oh, yeah.
- On the phone.

Oh, come on.

Hey, by the way, I will be

presenting your category tonight.

I hope that I get to hand you an award.

I've never heard it called
an award before, but... alright.

Oh, my God! Kibby, it's your space dad.

There's my girl.

Oh, I'll have to catch you later, Mo.

I'm supposed to do EW next.

Kibby, get your ass over here, girl.

Come on over. Let's get
you two together again.

- Yeah.
- I missed you. You look great.

You look really good.

I really have
another thing. Sorry.

- Oh.
- Aww.

Well, you know, kids. Who
knows what they're thinking?

Vance, you look good. Call me.

To-to-to, I'm sensing a horrible dress.

You, horrible! Come on, cops.

Kibby, you okay?

Yeah, I should go find Sheri
before she gets too drunk

and ask Dr. Oz for a breast exam.

Trust me, she'd do that.

Look at Kelly Ripa's
gracious loser face.

Is it better than mine?
Well, we'll find out.

We'll be back
after this commercial break.

Oh, my God, how much
longer can this last?

Why is she even here?

She has five million followers.
She can be wherever she likes.

Still here my little Kali zebras.

Uh, this is so boring.

Feed me fun things. I feel like
no one here even knows who I am.

- What does she do?
- I have no idea.

So are you ever gonna go
to the ESPN table?

Nah, the guests are prettier here.

Oh, my God. It's worse than I thought.

The factory has been cited
three times for child labor laws

and the CEO has Neo-Nazi ties.

Ooh, yeah, that's a bad bag.

Well, come on, you didn't know.
It's not your fault.

Oh, I am sure of the fact that
Nina Sandoval is showing off

a purse made by slave laborers
is all over the Internet by now.

No, it's not anywhere.
Shit like that doesn't trend.

Thank you.

As if I couldn't feel any worse.

God, I hope our kid gets your passion.

And those dimples.
That'd just be a plus.

That is a terrible lie.

- But did it work?
- Maybe a little.

So...

Maxine, you look stunning.

Oh, Vance.

- How are you?
- Great.

Um, I just, I wanted
to stop by and say good luck

to what I hope is gonna be
the winning team.

- Where's Kibby?
- You just missed her.

Ah, it's too bad.

So, yeah, is this the famous boyfriend?

Uh, William. Nice to meet you.

What's your story, William?

Uh, William's my doorman.

I-I met him at the door.

When he opened it for me.

How very romantic.

Uh, look at that.

I see the very unfunny head
of comedy over there.

I need to go schmooze.

- What was that?
- I know that was insane.

But I didn't know what to say.

It's either too much or not enough.

Why do you have to say anything?

Because people ask. The press ask.

Just tell me, what do
you want me to say?

I don't know, Maxine.

I wish you didn't have to say anything.

It would be nice if we could
be in a relationship

that's just ours.

Mo, it's good to see you.

Well, look at you, Jason,
all dressed up.

Takin' a break from making money
off of other people's talent.

We miss that.

So what's this I hear about
you going on "Morning Talk?"

Oh, come on now, Jason, you know
I'm not gonna tell you that.

But they made an offer.
It's not where I want it to be.

But we're working out the details.

Oops, there goes my bigmouth.

That's too bad. Wouldn't like
to see you with our competitor.

Well, they wouldn't be
mine now, would they?

They're about to serve dessert.
Lemon-berry Savarin. Mm.

Take care.

Shit.

Oh!

- Sheri.
- Oh, hey, baby.

- Hello, Kibby.
- Can you go away?

I need to talk to her.

It's almost time for your category.

I hope I get to see you up on stage.

I'm so glad we're losing.

You should be nicer to Vance.

He gave you a career.

He also basically ruined my life.

Kibby, you are no fun
since you went to rehab.

Or maybe I just have more
clarity about how messed up

things were when you were in charge.

Please, have a drink.

So, uh, what were you
and Vance talking about?

He has this new family show and
you know, he needs a daughter.

You're out of your mind if you
think I'm gonna do that again.

Oh, honey, you're too old
to play his kid. Maybe his wife.

But I was talking to him about Tandy.

God, you're disgusting.

After what happened with me and Vance?

- Come on, you were 18.
- I was 14 when he met me.

And he waited 'cause he's a gentleman.

You're insane.
Just don't put that on Tandy.

You are very ungrateful. That
man made you a lot of money.

He made you a lot of money.

I don't care if they made Mo an offer.

Let that beast be their problem.

Look, I get that
there's stuff between you two

but I also know you want
what's best for the show

and it's not Kali Z.

Of course, it's not Kali Z.

The girl wore a marshmallow dress

without irony or maybe with irony.

I don't even know what's in now.

Well, there are plenty of other options

that we haven't even considered.

Who? 'Cause while
you're taking your time

looking for, we're gonna lose Mo.

Okay, I'm telling you,
Maxine, very strongly

the network is behind Mo.

Who do you think
you're talking to, little man?

There would be no show without me

and you and the network know that.

So make a choice, Jason.
You want Mo or you want me?

Okay, we'll start looking
again on Monday.

You know, I gave all the
guys in the pit crew

a copy of "For God's Sake."

It's a really good album, Heather.

I don't know why
it didn't do any better.

I guess Glenn Beck was right.

The world needs more Christians.

But thank you, Brad.
That was very sweet.

Great dress, Heather.
Can I get a picture?

Oh, of course.

The dress is a hit. Cha-ching!

The purse is also Blessed

and it comes in six
colors including kiwi.

I thought Heather was like
super conservative or whatever.

Can you move your bag?

Hey, no, no. Back away, buddy.

Brad, what is it about?

This is why your dress is so popular.

Oh, Jesus Christ, uh,
is my Lord and Savior.

Oh, my gosh.

Well, not much to fix here.

Let's just put a little bit of powder.

You got a little shine in there.

Oh, my Gosh. I'm naked!

We're down another? Where's Nina?

I told her it was
rude to Google on the show

so she went outside.

Well, I have some good news about Mo.

I won.

Well, I guess it depends on
your definition of winning.

Oops, nip slip.

Our category is up next.
I'm going to the ladies' lounge.

Can't muster another gracious
loser face one more time.

Your mother hates watching
other people win.

When Oprah launched her network,
we had to hide out

at the Sag Harbor House.

That was five years ago.

I thought you said you've only
been together for one?

I must've meant something else.

Vance Gordon.

Nope, nothing. Oh!

- No, I don't see it.
- Oh, wait.

There it is.

Yup, when they flash, you flash.

Oh, Heather, you have a great rack.

This is so humiliating.

I just wanted a fabric
that was breathable.

Well, at least
your dress was made in America

by adults who make a decent wage.

And do you see what happened?

In China, they know
how to do things right.

Oh, I see, and I think I'm gonna be

wearing a Blessed next season.

What's going on?

Oh, Maxine, look what my phone can do.

- Titties.
- Oh, I just lost a bet.

- They are real.
- Oh, dear God!

Heather, you will be fine.
Just stay in the shadows, okay?

What a bitch of a day.

The nominees are...

Ladies, would you like to join me?

Oh.

"...Morning Talk".

Ah!

- "The Lunch Hour".
- Wait, what's going on?

Why do they make this so hard?

Ha! Okay. Okay. There it is.

And the winner... is...

"...The Lunch Hour."

- Where the hell is everybody?
- In your face, losers.

Oh! Oh!

This is awesome!

Oh, my God. We won!

We won? Where are my boobs?

Oh, my God. Oh, my gosh.

No way is that groundhog
gonna steal this from me!

- Where is my other shoe?
- It's over there.

- It's over there. No.
- I'm just gonna take yours.

Wait. No, no, no, no, ladies.
I can't go out there like this.

I thought you could use this.

Oh! Thank you.

Now get out there.

Oh, my goodness.

I graciously accept this award

on behalf of "The Lunch Hour."

I, um...

Um, okay, here's the reality.

My co-hosts and I

may not all be besties

but they're a pretty
fierce group of women

who made comin' to work everyday

one of the most amazing
experiences in my life.

Oh, I think I got,
I think I got the feels.

Okay, I just have one more thing to say

about the infamous Maxine Robinson.

The woman hired me and fired me.

Yeah, that happened

but I respect her.

Maxine genuinely cares about

every last woman who watches our show.

That's what it's all about for her

and sometimes we forget that.

I mean, everybody has
a gimmick now, right?

Got to stand out, I guess.

But Maxine...

truly leads the way
with this quiet dignity.

It's impressive and annoying.

Thank you.

- Bye.
- Well, this is a first.

I am not disagreeing with Mo.

The women to my left
are not just coworkers.

No, no, I'm not finished yet.

These women are family

and possess a magic and chemistry

that cannot be duplicated
and for that very reason

I would like to invite Mo Evans

to join us back in "The Lunch Hour."

Yes!

Thank you!

Hello.

I know everybody's been talking

about my crossbody clutch tonight.

Human need, not corporate greed!

There's just one problem.

It was designed by a company
that exploits children...

What's that?

and dumps industrial waste

into local water supplies.

"Morning Talk" offered me a 20% bump.

So I pledge to sell this clutch

and donate the proceeds

to organizations that are dedicated

in ending such heinous practices.

- We'll match it.
- In fact...

I encourage all of you

to sell all of your free gifts

that you have received tonight
and donate the money

to worthy causes.

Huh? Who's with me?

Now you can play us off. Thank you!

Welcome back, buzzkill. Come on.

If you touch my sister, I'll kill you.

Oh, wait here. I'll just go rub it in.

Sorry, Brook.

Looks like I stole more than
an award from you tonight.

I apologize for taking Mo,
but it's business.

- You understand?
- Are you kidding me?

We never wanted Mo.

She's probably one
that started all those rumors.

I think you got played, Maxine

but thanks for taking her off our hands.

Stan, hi.

There's Maxine and William. William!

How does it feel to know
Maxine's gonna make

more money in a year than
you make in your entire life?

- You're being an ass.
- Is he gonna open your door?

Mind your own goddamn business.

- William?
- He was out of line!

This is my career. Sorry, you're
gonna have to deal with it.

You have to deal with it. I don't.

This was a mistake.

- Trouble in paradise?
- Please respect my privacy.

Mercer and Bleecker, please?

What the hell are you doing? Get out!

Kibs, it's killing me
that you are this angry with me

and I... I'm sorry if I hurt you.

- If?
- No, okay.

Things didn't end well, but...

Look, we had a great
time while it lasted.

No, you had a great time.

I didn't know what the hell I was doing.

You were having fun.

Come on, don't beat yourself up over it.

- Well, I do. It was wrong.
- It was not wrong.

You were smart, sweet, beautiful

and I wanted to protect you.

I wanted to take care of you.

Is that really what
you wanted, Vance? Come on.

It is. I felt bad for you.

You were all alone.

Your mom sure wasn't
lookin' out for you.

Don't talk to me about my mom.

I know you've been having a hard time

and I just, I just
wanted to say I'm sorry.

Get off of me! Get out! Now!

Thank you for letting me
wear your jacket.

I'm a gentleman.

In all areas except for one...

if I recall.

You know, we did win a DTA tonight.

Why do you look like we lost?

I'm just thinkin'.

About what?

My mom is lying to me
about something important

and I don't know what to do about it.

Well... I wish I could make it better.

You are.

Mind your own goddamn business.

Maxine Robinson has very publicly

closed the door to her
relationship with her doorman

William McCann at the
Daytime TV Awards...

I think we made the right decision.

I agree.

We're better off on the DL.

He's dead.

We need to call 911.

Not yet.

Next time on "Daytime Divas..."

Shawn would feel a lot better

if you told him what actually happened

the night of your husband's death.

I've told him everything
he needs to know.

If you so much as look at her wrong

I'll go public with everything.

- Not cool.
- Back off, Heather.

Why did Maxine wanna
get rid of you so badly?

You do not want a piece of me.

When they go low, I go lower.

Oh, my God.

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