Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,224 --> 00:00:01,458
BAIRD: Jenkins!
2
00:00:01,459 --> 00:00:02,692
Where was the artifact found?
3
00:00:02,693 --> 00:00:04,060
La Brea Tar Pits.
4
00:00:04,061 --> 00:00:05,262
A volunteer at the
paleontology department
5
00:00:05,263 --> 00:00:06,930
uncovered it by accident.
6
00:00:06,931 --> 00:00:09,232
From the description of it,
sounds like the Osiris Stone,
7
00:00:09,233 --> 00:00:11,201
which has the power to reanimate.
8
00:00:11,202 --> 00:00:12,969
Which explains all the
saber-toothed tigers
9
00:00:12,970 --> 00:00:14,337
running through the
streets of Los Angeles.
10
00:00:14,338 --> 00:00:15,605
Jenkins, we need a door!
11
00:00:15,606 --> 00:00:17,874
I grabbed some spears
from the weapons room.
12
00:00:17,875 --> 00:00:20,277
I found some nets. Gosh, I hope they're
big enough for saber-toothed tigers.
13
00:00:20,278 --> 00:00:22,279
Make that woolly mammoths.
Someone just Instagrammed
14
00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:23,880
one of them crashing into a tour bus.
15
00:00:23,881 --> 00:00:25,282
- (SCREAMING ON PHONE)
- We're gonna need bigger nets.
16
00:00:25,283 --> 00:00:26,583
- Jenkins?
- Coming!
17
00:00:26,584 --> 00:00:28,585
BAIRD: Jenkins, there you are.
18
00:00:28,586 --> 00:00:30,453
We need a door to the La
Brea Tar Pits, buddy, now.
19
00:00:30,454 --> 00:00:32,554
Yeah, sure. One door coming up.
20
00:00:36,260 --> 00:00:37,993
Good luck, Librarians.
21
00:00:44,335 --> 00:00:54,392
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
22
00:00:56,547 --> 00:00:58,380
Hmm.
23
00:01:12,230 --> 00:01:14,596
I don't think this is right.
24
00:01:17,935 --> 00:01:19,468
Hello.
25
00:01:20,271 --> 00:01:21,637
Anyone here?
26
00:01:33,751 --> 00:01:35,884
Jeff Peppers.
27
00:01:56,007 --> 00:01:57,406
Oh, my...
28
00:01:58,109 --> 00:02:00,443
Oh, my dear God.
29
00:02:00,444 --> 00:02:02,279
- Jeff!
- (GASPS)
30
00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:03,680
What are you doing, Brad Pitt,
31
00:02:03,681 --> 00:02:04,981
staring at yourself?
32
00:02:04,982 --> 00:02:06,383
No, madame, um, you...
33
00:02:06,384 --> 00:02:08,018
You overslept again, Jeff.
34
00:02:08,019 --> 00:02:09,119
You gotta feed the babies.
35
00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:10,654
I'm not him. He's not me.
36
00:02:10,655 --> 00:02:12,889
And, after you're done,
I've got a list of chores.
37
00:02:12,890 --> 00:02:15,792
I need you to fix that dish.
It's acting screwy.
38
00:02:15,793 --> 00:02:17,560
I thought we could watch a
"Wheel Of Fortune" later.
39
00:02:17,561 --> 00:02:19,296
Wait, madame, I beseech
you to listen to me.
40
00:02:19,297 --> 00:02:20,664
Something horrible has happened...
41
00:02:20,665 --> 00:02:22,499
Well, something horrible
is about to happen
42
00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:24,935
if you don't get up those
stairs and feed the babies.
43
00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:26,569
I will do no such thing...
44
00:02:26,570 --> 00:02:28,405
Feed the babies! Feed the babies!
45
00:02:28,406 --> 00:02:30,307
- I will not feed your bab...
- Get up there.
46
00:02:30,308 --> 00:02:31,841
You know what your responsibility is.
47
00:02:31,842 --> 00:02:33,944
- Listen... I know... I can't...
- Get in there.
48
00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:36,947
All right, don't forget to clean all the
litter boxes and refill their bowls.
49
00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:41,384
The eyedropper for poor little
Tessie's pinkeye is on the counter.
50
00:02:41,385 --> 00:02:45,055
Otto's got ringworm again, so don't
forget to give him those suppositories.
51
00:02:45,056 --> 00:02:46,556
(CATS MEOWING)
52
00:02:46,557 --> 00:02:48,191
What are you waiting for?
53
00:02:48,192 --> 00:02:49,591
I...
54
00:02:50,494 --> 00:02:51,693
Uh...
55
00:02:54,432 --> 00:02:57,133
Soap, soap, soap!
56
00:02:57,134 --> 00:02:58,435
WOMAN: You want some breakfast?
57
00:02:58,436 --> 00:03:00,036
No, I've gotta get to the library.
58
00:03:00,037 --> 00:03:01,805
(CHUCKLING) Library?
59
00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:03,873
- But you hate reading,
- Is that his car?
60
00:03:03,874 --> 00:03:06,442
Jeff, what about my "Wheel"? You
promised you'd fix the dish.
61
00:03:12,416 --> 00:03:15,617
Oh, God, what is that smell?
62
00:03:17,722 --> 00:03:19,923
Just... come on!
63
00:03:19,924 --> 00:03:21,123
Damn it.
64
00:03:24,028 --> 00:03:25,161
(HORN HONKING)
65
00:03:25,162 --> 00:03:28,231
Yo, dude! Jeff! Let's get a move on.
66
00:03:28,232 --> 00:03:29,733
- Jeff!
- MAN: Jeff!
67
00:03:29,734 --> 00:03:30,767
I am not...
68
00:03:30,768 --> 00:03:32,736
Never mind, just pl... go.
Go away, please.
69
00:03:32,737 --> 00:03:34,337
Hop in. We're gonna be late for work.
70
00:03:34,338 --> 00:03:35,338
I'm not going to your work.
71
00:03:35,339 --> 00:03:37,574
Ooh, playing hooky.
72
00:03:37,575 --> 00:03:39,542
You gonna get in so much trouble.
73
00:03:39,543 --> 00:03:41,011
MAN: Just call in sick.
It's what I do.
74
00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:43,113
Who's gonna know?
75
00:03:43,114 --> 00:03:45,081
Well, technically, I'm the assistant
manager, so I'm supposed to report it.
76
00:03:45,082 --> 00:03:46,683
Dennis, please, I was talking.
77
00:03:46,684 --> 00:03:49,818
- Where you need to go, Jeff?
- Yeah, we'll drive you.
78
00:03:53,290 --> 00:03:55,625
Yes, fine. Take me to
St. John's Bridge.
79
00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:57,360
- DENNIS: St. John's.
- Why, thinking of jumping off?
80
00:03:57,361 --> 00:04:01,331
- (LAUGHING)
- Not a bad idea right now.
81
00:04:01,332 --> 00:04:03,165
WOMAN: Want a Ring Pop?
82
00:04:05,202 --> 00:04:07,303
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
83
00:04:07,304 --> 00:04:11,741
Stop! Stop! Let me out of here.
84
00:04:11,742 --> 00:04:13,643
Okay, well, we still on for later?
85
00:04:13,644 --> 00:04:15,545
- No.
- Cool. See you then.
86
00:04:15,546 --> 00:04:17,147
- Bye, Jeff.
- DENNIS: Feel better.
87
00:04:17,148 --> 00:04:19,949
He's not sick, Dennis! God!
88
00:04:19,950 --> 00:04:21,450
WOMAN: Pump it!
89
00:04:26,390 --> 00:04:31,226
You, sir, are one sexy stud muffin.
90
00:04:34,165 --> 00:04:36,498
Oh, wow.
91
00:04:40,237 --> 00:04:42,405
Mm, thank you, book.
92
00:04:42,406 --> 00:04:44,173
Thank you. (KISSING)
93
00:04:54,985 --> 00:04:56,286
Oh, hey! All right.
94
00:04:56,287 --> 00:04:58,688
The Librarians.
How was your adventure?
95
00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:00,256
Good. Went really well.
No thanks to you!
96
00:05:00,257 --> 00:05:01,825
You set the door to a port-o-potty
97
00:05:01,826 --> 00:05:03,860
two feet from the Tar Pits.
We fell right in.
98
00:05:03,861 --> 00:05:05,428
Uh, this stuff is really like sand.
99
00:05:05,429 --> 00:05:07,363
It gets everywhere,
and I mean everywhere!
100
00:05:07,364 --> 00:05:10,166
What's going on with you, Jenkins?
You never make mistakes like that.
101
00:05:10,167 --> 00:05:12,102
Must've just had a senior moment.
102
00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:14,636
But, hey, at least the
mission went well, right?
103
00:05:17,341 --> 00:05:19,576
Uh, is that the artifact?
104
00:05:19,577 --> 00:05:21,478
The Osiris Stone...
105
00:05:21,479 --> 00:05:23,513
it's able to bring the
dead back to life.
106
00:05:23,514 --> 00:05:25,148
That is so rad. Can I touch it?
107
00:05:25,149 --> 00:05:26,483
Sure.
108
00:05:26,484 --> 00:05:29,452
Awesome. Wow.
109
00:05:29,453 --> 00:05:30,954
You feeling all right, Jenkins?
110
00:05:30,955 --> 00:05:33,356
What? Uh, yeah.
111
00:05:33,357 --> 00:05:34,457
Yeah, no, never better.
112
00:05:34,458 --> 00:05:36,526
Yeah, just feeling like myself,
113
00:05:36,527 --> 00:05:37,727
you know, Jenkins.
114
00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:39,929
Jenkins being Jenkins. (CHUCKLING)
115
00:05:39,930 --> 00:05:41,364
- (ALARM BLARING)
- Aah! What the hell?
116
00:05:41,365 --> 00:05:42,699
Perimeter alarm.
117
00:05:42,700 --> 00:05:44,933
Someone's trying to
get into the library.
118
00:05:46,370 --> 00:05:48,938
Who is that?
119
00:05:48,939 --> 00:05:51,808
VOICE: Fingerprint not recognized.
120
00:05:51,809 --> 00:05:54,244
- Damn it.
- Voice pattern not recognized.
121
00:05:54,245 --> 00:05:56,211
Oh, just... shut up.
122
00:05:58,182 --> 00:05:59,581
Ah.
123
00:06:00,918 --> 00:06:04,187
Colonel? Colonel, it's me.
It's Jenkins!
124
00:06:04,188 --> 00:06:05,255
BAIRD: What's he doing?
125
00:06:05,256 --> 00:06:06,689
I mean, he's clearly insane.
126
00:06:06,690 --> 00:06:08,424
You gotta feel sorry
for him, don't ya?
127
00:06:08,425 --> 00:06:10,226
Looks like a sad sack.
128
00:06:10,227 --> 00:06:14,264
I don't know. I feel like there's
kind of a rugged handsomeness to him.
129
00:06:14,265 --> 00:06:15,964
How...
130
00:06:17,401 --> 00:06:18,934
Ah.
131
00:06:21,238 --> 00:06:23,105
- Sorry. Need this.
- Hey!
132
00:06:24,008 --> 00:06:26,108
Jenkins.
133
00:06:27,545 --> 00:06:29,778
Oh, look. He's writing something.
134
00:06:32,283 --> 00:06:33,416
- Hey! Whoa!
- What are you doing?
135
00:06:33,417 --> 00:06:35,051
Jeez! Butterfingers, right?
136
00:06:35,052 --> 00:06:37,420
Well, we're done with this guy anyway.
137
00:06:37,421 --> 00:06:39,923
Look, you've seen one homeless guy
on bath salts, you've seen them all.
138
00:06:39,924 --> 00:06:42,859
Now, tell me all about that mission.
139
00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:45,228
Can you see it?
140
00:06:45,229 --> 00:06:46,296
I'm Jenkins!
141
00:06:46,297 --> 00:06:48,196
I am...
142
00:06:52,169 --> 00:06:53,935
They don't know it's me.
143
00:06:56,489 --> 00:06:59,258
Jeff, where have you been?
144
00:06:59,259 --> 00:07:01,727
I just walked from St. John's Bridge.
145
00:07:01,728 --> 00:07:03,829
Well, Lord, that's
over five miles away.
146
00:07:03,830 --> 00:07:05,464
Actually eleven.
147
00:07:05,465 --> 00:07:07,166
Well, now that you're back,
148
00:07:07,167 --> 00:07:09,201
the toilet's been acting fussy again,
149
00:07:09,202 --> 00:07:11,937
and I had to miss both
"Wheel" and "Steve Harvey."
150
00:07:11,938 --> 00:07:14,640
Oh, and guess what? We ran
out of Werther's Originals.
151
00:07:14,641 --> 00:07:16,008
Wait a minute. Where are you going?
152
00:07:16,009 --> 00:07:18,143
I'm going to search his room,
153
00:07:18,144 --> 00:07:20,512
try to figure out why...
how this happened.
154
00:07:20,513 --> 00:07:21,981
- Whose room?
- Uh, just...
155
00:07:21,982 --> 00:07:23,849
Wait, what about my
Werther's Originals, Jeff?
156
00:07:23,850 --> 00:07:27,653
Good grief, woman, don't you
have some wretched husband
157
00:07:27,654 --> 00:07:28,854
you can order about?
158
00:07:28,855 --> 00:07:31,223
How could you say something like that?
159
00:07:31,224 --> 00:07:32,791
Do you think it's been easy for me
160
00:07:32,792 --> 00:07:34,460
living without your father?
161
00:07:34,461 --> 00:07:38,296
His cancer just about destroyed me.
162
00:07:41,201 --> 00:07:42,301
I'm sorry.
163
00:07:42,302 --> 00:07:45,002
I miss him so much.
164
00:07:46,072 --> 00:07:47,405
Right.
165
00:07:48,475 --> 00:07:51,110
Excuse me.
166
00:07:51,111 --> 00:07:54,079
MAN: Read it.
People just inform themselves.
167
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:55,381
- MAN 2: You're a dork.
- Actually, you're a dork.
168
00:07:55,382 --> 00:07:56,615
- Hey, Jeff!
- Hey, Jeff.
169
00:07:56,616 --> 00:07:57,916
Jeff, Jeff, Jeff!
170
00:07:57,917 --> 00:07:59,651
You ready to play? We said after work.
171
00:07:59,652 --> 00:08:01,320
I got Ring Pops.
172
00:08:01,321 --> 00:08:02,554
Leave me alone, please.
173
00:08:02,555 --> 00:08:03,689
- What about the game?
- Yeah.
174
00:08:03,690 --> 00:08:05,424
So last we left off,
175
00:08:05,425 --> 00:08:08,093
we were about to enter the
catacombs of the demon king
176
00:08:08,094 --> 00:08:10,129
to find the golden treasure.
177
00:08:10,130 --> 00:08:12,364
Jeff, D&D, we're waiting.
178
00:08:12,365 --> 00:08:14,800
Excuse me, please. For the
last time, leave me be.
179
00:08:14,801 --> 00:08:16,568
I do not want to play
your stupid game.
180
00:08:16,569 --> 00:08:18,303
(IMITATES CAT SNARL)
181
00:08:18,304 --> 00:08:20,204
Well, Jenkins is out.
182
00:08:21,274 --> 00:08:23,575
Guess it's just you
and me, Jacob Stone.
183
00:08:23,576 --> 00:08:25,544
Quite right, Cassandra Cillian.
184
00:08:25,545 --> 00:08:28,680
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
you know about the Librarians?
185
00:08:28,681 --> 00:08:31,283
God, what is wrong with you?
He is seriously mental today.
186
00:08:31,284 --> 00:08:32,785
WOMAN: They're our D&D characters.
187
00:08:32,786 --> 00:08:34,820
We got Cassandra the Sorceress,
188
00:08:34,821 --> 00:08:35,988
Stone the Ranger.
189
00:08:35,989 --> 00:08:37,423
Baird the Warrior Princess.
190
00:08:37,424 --> 00:08:39,191
Flynn the Wise Sage.
191
00:08:39,192 --> 00:08:40,225
And Mr. Jones?
192
00:08:40,226 --> 00:08:42,361
MAN: Ezekiel the Cunning Thief.
193
00:08:42,362 --> 00:08:45,197
Sadly, he got eaten
by a tenth-level orc
194
00:08:45,198 --> 00:08:46,131
a few weeks ago.
195
00:08:46,132 --> 00:08:47,566
How do you know about them?
196
00:08:47,567 --> 00:08:48,834
Dude, because of you.
197
00:08:48,835 --> 00:08:50,102
You're, like, obsessed with them.
198
00:08:50,103 --> 00:08:51,669
Did you forget your shrine?
199
00:08:54,474 --> 00:08:56,240
What?
200
00:08:59,245 --> 00:09:00,979
MAN: You know, I'm still on the fence
201
00:09:00,980 --> 00:09:02,848
about whether they're real or not.
202
00:09:02,849 --> 00:09:04,450
WOMAN: Librarians? Of course they are.
203
00:09:04,451 --> 00:09:06,418
What about all those DOSA
files that Wikileaks dumped?
204
00:09:06,419 --> 00:09:08,220
DENNIS: Oh, or those
articles by what's-her-name,
205
00:09:08,221 --> 00:09:09,288
the reporter.
206
00:09:09,289 --> 00:09:10,656
- MAN: Sarina Bhonsle.
- DENNIS: Yes.
207
00:09:10,657 --> 00:09:11,723
- She retracted them.
- What?
208
00:09:11,724 --> 00:09:12,858
She took them all back.
209
00:09:12,859 --> 00:09:14,193
WOMAN: Or she was forced to.
210
00:09:14,194 --> 00:09:15,994
(SING-SONG) Conspiracy.
211
00:09:15,995 --> 00:09:17,763
- MAN: You had me at conspiracy.
- Oh, my God.
212
00:09:17,764 --> 00:09:20,766
I'm, uh... (CHUCKLES)
213
00:09:20,767 --> 00:09:22,734
really obsessed with Jenkins, huh?
214
00:09:22,735 --> 00:09:24,336
Big time.
215
00:09:24,337 --> 00:09:26,939
You said Jenkins is like an
immortal knight of Camelot.
216
00:09:26,940 --> 00:09:29,041
- Percival, I think.
- No, Lancelot.
217
00:09:29,042 --> 00:09:30,576
- Galahad.
- MAN: Galahad!
218
00:09:30,577 --> 00:09:33,378
Who would want to be Galahad?
Arthur is way cooler.
219
00:09:33,379 --> 00:09:38,416
(MUTTERING) So he switched
bodies with me on purpose.
220
00:09:39,619 --> 00:09:42,154
The enemy is at the castle gates.
221
00:09:42,155 --> 00:09:45,056
- (GROWLING)
- To battle!
222
00:09:46,392 --> 00:09:49,160
(BARKING)
223
00:09:51,197 --> 00:09:53,665
Your skills are impressive,
Black Knight.
224
00:09:53,666 --> 00:09:55,499
Can you handle this?
225
00:09:57,504 --> 00:09:59,371
- (YELPS, WHIMPERS)
- I meant to do that.
226
00:09:59,372 --> 00:10:00,572
Yeah, you know, I meant to do that.
227
00:10:00,573 --> 00:10:04,676
(BARKING)
228
00:10:04,677 --> 00:10:06,845
Hey, Cassandra.
229
00:10:06,846 --> 00:10:09,014
Sassy Cassie.
230
00:10:09,015 --> 00:10:10,215
How you doing?
231
00:10:10,216 --> 00:10:11,216
I'm good.
232
00:10:11,217 --> 00:10:13,619
Uh, I guess I just...
Jenkins, I need to...
233
00:10:13,620 --> 00:10:14,820
Ah, ah, ah, whoa, hey.
234
00:10:14,821 --> 00:10:16,254
Hold that thought.
235
00:10:17,657 --> 00:10:19,056
Water...
236
00:10:20,393 --> 00:10:21,525
into wine.
237
00:10:22,996 --> 00:10:25,831
Ha! How sick is that, right?
238
00:10:25,832 --> 00:10:27,933
You want a pull?
239
00:10:27,934 --> 00:10:30,067
- No, I'm good.
- Cool. More for me.
240
00:10:31,604 --> 00:10:34,273
Ah, so... what's up?
241
00:10:34,274 --> 00:10:38,110
I mean, to what do I owe this
splendiferous pleasure, Miss Cillian?
242
00:10:38,111 --> 00:10:41,146
Um, I... I found this
book in the Annex,
243
00:10:41,147 --> 00:10:42,915
and I've never seen it before,
244
00:10:42,916 --> 00:10:44,082
and I can't find a file on it.
245
00:10:44,083 --> 00:10:45,384
Oh, yeah, no, that's, um...
246
00:10:45,385 --> 00:10:46,852
that's 'cause it's a new acquisition.
247
00:10:46,853 --> 00:10:48,620
Yeah, from the s...
248
00:10:48,621 --> 00:10:50,455
(MUMBLES) ...department.
249
00:10:50,456 --> 00:10:52,424
- Oh.
- I was just about to file it away,
250
00:10:52,425 --> 00:10:55,826
so don't you worry your pretty
little red head about it.
251
00:10:57,664 --> 00:10:59,331
Okay. Great.
252
00:10:59,332 --> 00:11:00,532
Hey, um...
253
00:11:00,533 --> 00:11:02,568
I was just thinking,
254
00:11:02,569 --> 00:11:03,835
if you weren't busy later,
255
00:11:03,836 --> 00:11:05,103
you and me could go out
256
00:11:05,104 --> 00:11:07,539
and double straw a margarita,
257
00:11:07,540 --> 00:11:09,208
maybe talk about magic,
258
00:11:09,209 --> 00:11:12,878
maybe... make some magic.
259
00:11:12,879 --> 00:11:14,179
Excuse me?
260
00:11:14,180 --> 00:11:15,647
What? No, nothing.
261
00:11:15,648 --> 00:11:16,782
- No.
- No, no, I just...
262
00:11:16,783 --> 00:11:17,783
- Yeah.
- Just kidding.
263
00:11:17,784 --> 00:11:19,251
(CHUCKLES) Right.
264
00:11:19,252 --> 00:11:21,987
- Yeah...
- Uh, I am going to put this puppy back
265
00:11:21,988 --> 00:11:23,622
and, yeah, good talk.
266
00:11:23,623 --> 00:11:25,390
Great. Okay.
267
00:11:25,391 --> 00:11:28,826
- Yeah, Stoner, my man.
- (SMACKS BUTT)
268
00:11:30,263 --> 00:11:31,964
Do you think... Do... Do you think
269
00:11:31,965 --> 00:11:34,800
there's something off about Jenkins?
270
00:11:34,801 --> 00:11:35,834
- 'Cause...
- Maybe.
271
00:11:35,835 --> 00:11:36,935
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
272
00:11:36,936 --> 00:11:38,237
- Mm-hmm.
- He did ask me earlier
273
00:11:38,238 --> 00:11:39,838
if Baird was seeing anyone.
274
00:11:39,839 --> 00:11:41,540
- Oh.
- I just figured it was a...
275
00:11:41,541 --> 00:11:44,176
like a byproduct of him
dealing with mortality
276
00:11:44,177 --> 00:11:47,746
or a delayed, delayed mid-life crisis.
277
00:11:47,747 --> 00:11:49,047
Right.
278
00:11:49,048 --> 00:11:51,883
Hiding place, hiding place.
279
00:11:51,884 --> 00:11:54,753
Oh. Oh.
280
00:11:54,754 --> 00:11:56,588
Ugh.
281
00:11:56,589 --> 00:11:58,489
Gross.
282
00:12:03,830 --> 00:12:05,030
Rats... skitter, skitter.
283
00:12:05,031 --> 00:12:06,431
Bats... flying, flying, flying.
284
00:12:06,432 --> 00:12:08,967
You make your way down
the castle catacombs,
285
00:12:08,968 --> 00:12:10,969
slime oozing down the walls.
286
00:12:10,970 --> 00:12:12,671
Suddenly you come
across a wooden door.
287
00:12:12,672 --> 00:12:14,039
What do you do?
288
00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:15,374
- We open the door.
- This is ridiculous.
289
00:12:15,375 --> 00:12:17,576
It creaks open... Cree-eak...
290
00:12:17,577 --> 00:12:20,279
revealing a glistening
mound of treasure.
291
00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:22,080
But it is being guarded
292
00:12:22,081 --> 00:12:24,816
by a great ten-foot tall cave troll.
293
00:12:24,817 --> 00:12:26,785
Have I been acting odd lately?
294
00:12:26,786 --> 00:12:29,054
- Have I come into contact with anything?
- The cave troll
295
00:12:29,055 --> 00:12:30,856
opens its great mouth,
296
00:12:30,857 --> 00:12:32,824
blood dripping from its fangs.
297
00:12:32,825 --> 00:12:33,992
(SLURPS) What do you do?
298
00:12:33,993 --> 00:12:35,327
(TOGETHER) Attack!
299
00:12:35,328 --> 00:12:37,528
- Roll for initiative.
- Ooh, yeah.
300
00:12:38,998 --> 00:12:41,632
Roll for initiative.
301
00:12:42,602 --> 00:12:44,201
(SIGHS)
302
00:12:47,373 --> 00:12:49,241
Ha! Cassandra the
Sorceress goes first.
303
00:12:49,242 --> 00:12:51,510
I cast fireball at the troll.
304
00:12:51,511 --> 00:12:53,645
Oh, completely ineffective.
Does not work at all.
305
00:12:53,646 --> 00:12:55,447
- What?
- What? She just rolled at 19.
306
00:12:55,448 --> 00:12:58,684
The cave troll is wearing
a fire resistance ring,
307
00:12:58,685 --> 00:13:00,218
so it's immune to fireballs.
308
00:13:00,219 --> 00:13:01,286
Dude, always the fire rings.
It's the third campaign...
309
00:13:01,287 --> 00:13:02,587
(OVERLAPPING ARGUING)
310
00:13:02,588 --> 00:13:04,523
Who makes up this... Listen to me.
311
00:13:04,524 --> 00:13:07,259
First of all, do you realize
how full this game is
312
00:13:07,260 --> 00:13:09,594
of just inaccuracies
and misinformation?
313
00:13:09,595 --> 00:13:12,964
Um, my fifth edition Monster
Manual begs to differ.
314
00:13:12,965 --> 00:13:15,400
Yes, that is not...
315
00:13:15,401 --> 00:13:17,369
First, no self-respecting castle
316
00:13:17,370 --> 00:13:18,804
will hide its treasure
317
00:13:18,805 --> 00:13:20,105
behind an unlocked wooden door.
318
00:13:20,106 --> 00:13:21,373
That's just amateur hour.
319
00:13:21,374 --> 00:13:23,041
And anybody that's anybody
320
00:13:23,042 --> 00:13:25,110
knows that cave trolls
don't have fangs.
321
00:13:25,111 --> 00:13:28,313
They have tusks.
Oh, and a fireball spell?
322
00:13:28,314 --> 00:13:31,149
Do you realize how long it
takes to conjure one of those?
323
00:13:31,150 --> 00:13:35,721
Days. A paralysis spell works in half
the time and is just as effective.
324
00:13:35,722 --> 00:13:37,789
People, if we're gonna do it,
let's do it right.
325
00:13:37,790 --> 00:13:39,658
I think he needs to be
the Dungeon Master.
326
00:13:39,659 --> 00:13:42,094
No! Not this again.
I'm the Dungeon Master!
327
00:13:42,095 --> 00:13:43,795
Dude, that was incredible.
He had the paralysis...
328
00:13:43,796 --> 00:13:45,197
Listen. Wait, wait.
329
00:13:45,198 --> 00:13:46,765
Is this what you do with your days,
330
00:13:46,766 --> 00:13:48,333
just sit in this cellar
and play this game?
331
00:13:48,334 --> 00:13:51,303
What is wrong with you?
332
00:13:51,304 --> 00:13:53,672
Dude, you've been acting
like a total psycho.
333
00:13:53,673 --> 00:13:57,275
- Yeah, ever since you found that book.
- I...
334
00:13:57,276 --> 00:13:58,777
Book? What book?
335
00:13:58,778 --> 00:14:00,846
Seriously, do you not
remember a single thing?
336
00:14:00,847 --> 00:14:02,080
Did you get hit in the head?
337
00:14:02,081 --> 00:14:03,482
Yeah, really hard. What book?
338
00:14:03,483 --> 00:14:05,450
The one you got online
from the rare bookshop
339
00:14:05,451 --> 00:14:07,119
that was being liquidated.
340
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:08,787
You wouldn't stop talking about it.
341
00:14:08,788 --> 00:14:11,022
You kept on saying how it would
make a kick-ass monster manual.
342
00:14:11,023 --> 00:14:13,625
It looked a little bit strange to
be a monster manual, if you ask me.
343
00:14:13,626 --> 00:14:15,127
Wait, wait, what did it look like?
344
00:14:15,128 --> 00:14:17,195
- I can probably look it up.
- What?
345
00:14:17,196 --> 00:14:20,397
One second. Ah!
346
00:14:24,270 --> 00:14:26,371
That's no monster manual.
347
00:14:26,372 --> 00:14:28,774
That's the Asmodeus Grimoire.
348
00:14:28,775 --> 00:14:30,841
It's the most dangerous
book in the world.
349
00:14:37,277 --> 00:14:38,544
Asmodeus Grimoire?
350
00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:40,313
Jeff, what are you talking about?
351
00:14:40,314 --> 00:14:42,248
He bought the book. He
didn't know what it was.
352
00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:43,616
Then he found out what it was,
353
00:14:43,617 --> 00:14:45,518
and he used it to
exchange places with me,
354
00:14:45,519 --> 00:14:47,420
not understanding the consequences.
355
00:14:47,421 --> 00:14:48,721
Jeff, you're scaring me.
356
00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:50,323
I've gotta break into the Library,
357
00:14:50,324 --> 00:14:51,891
find the book if he still has...
358
00:14:51,892 --> 00:14:54,293
how do I break into the Library?
359
00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:56,863
Oh. Secret entrances.
360
00:14:56,864 --> 00:14:58,197
I can't do that without help.
361
00:14:58,198 --> 00:14:59,531
I've got to...
362
00:15:02,703 --> 00:15:03,936
Get up. Let's go.
363
00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:05,238
- What?
- Let's go.
364
00:15:05,239 --> 00:15:06,439
Up. Out. Mush.
365
00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:07,740
- Where are we going?
- Just go.
366
00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:09,609
- What about the game?
- Don't worry about it.
367
00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:11,777
I promised my wife I was gonna
stop at the Bed, Bath, & Beyond.
368
00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:14,146
Yes, yes. I don't know what that
is, but it's gonna have to wait.
369
00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:16,282
Come on. Go. Go. Get in the car.
370
00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:18,217
Jeff, please.
371
00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:19,585
I'm not going another step further
372
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,187
until you tell us what's going on.
373
00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:22,722
Yeah! And what about the game?
374
00:15:22,723 --> 00:15:27,626
Okay, this is going to sound
ludicrous to you, but...
375
00:15:29,196 --> 00:15:31,130
I'm not your friend Jeff.
376
00:15:31,131 --> 00:15:33,332
I am in reality Jenkins,
377
00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:35,568
also known as Galahad,
Knight of Camelot,
378
00:15:35,569 --> 00:15:37,937
and Caretaker to the magical Library,
379
00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:39,572
which happens to be real.
380
00:15:39,573 --> 00:15:41,007
The book that your friend bought
381
00:15:41,008 --> 00:15:43,009
was not a toy, nor a fake.
382
00:15:43,010 --> 00:15:44,777
It was an authentic spellbook
383
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:49,215
which he used to
exchange bodies with me,
384
00:15:49,216 --> 00:15:50,750
apparently because he
was obsessed with me,
385
00:15:50,751 --> 00:15:54,253
but when he did so,
he also unknowingly
386
00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:58,391
released very powerful evil forces
387
00:15:58,392 --> 00:16:01,127
that could wreak havoc,
388
00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:04,529
and we must stop it
before it's too late.
389
00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:07,400
- Okay.
- Makes sense.
390
00:16:07,401 --> 00:16:09,535
- Totally.
- That's it?
391
00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:12,438
No... "That's the craziest
thing we've ever heard, dude"?
392
00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:14,273
Yeah. No, we figured something
like this was going on.
393
00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:15,908
Yeah, it's just like that D&D module,
394
00:16:15,909 --> 00:16:17,877
"The Sinister Body
Snatchers of Boldovia."
395
00:16:17,878 --> 00:16:19,678
When do we start?
396
00:16:21,248 --> 00:16:23,849
Uh, now. Let's start now.
397
00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:26,485
Front entrance to the
Library is impenetrable,
398
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:29,388
protected by an elaborate
security system.
399
00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:30,957
There is, however, a back door,
400
00:16:30,958 --> 00:16:32,558
but to gain access to it,
401
00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:35,027
one must first pass through a series
402
00:16:35,028 --> 00:16:36,262
of booby-trapped chambers,
403
00:16:36,263 --> 00:16:38,497
each more deadly than the last.
404
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,166
If you know so much about it,
405
00:16:40,167 --> 00:16:41,534
why can't you just waltz in?
406
00:16:41,535 --> 00:16:43,436
Yeah, why do you need us?
407
00:16:43,437 --> 00:16:44,937
Because the chambers were designed
408
00:16:44,938 --> 00:16:46,272
to prevent a single individual
409
00:16:46,273 --> 00:16:47,340
from gaining access.
410
00:16:47,341 --> 00:16:48,341
It takes teamwork.
411
00:16:48,342 --> 00:16:49,675
(CLEARS THROAT)
412
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:51,177
But you know about the
booby traps, right?
413
00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:52,945
You can get us past the booby traps.
414
00:16:52,946 --> 00:16:56,048
No, the chambers are
constantly self-reconfiguring,
415
00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:58,584
the puzzles inside, chosen
by the Library itself.
416
00:16:58,585 --> 00:17:00,386
I have no idea what we'll face.
417
00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:02,922
- Wow.
- All of you must help me
418
00:17:02,923 --> 00:17:04,256
get to the back door.
419
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:05,458
In order to do this,
420
00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:06,659
you must be trained
421
00:17:06,660 --> 00:17:08,127
in the way of the Librarians.
422
00:17:08,128 --> 00:17:10,363
You must become greater
than yourselves.
423
00:17:10,364 --> 00:17:12,565
You're going to turn
us into Librarians?
424
00:17:12,566 --> 00:17:14,900
No, that would take a miracle.
425
00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:16,135
Let's begin.
426
00:17:16,136 --> 00:17:19,070
(GRUNTING)
427
00:17:22,409 --> 00:17:25,845
A Librarian must make
friends with danger,
428
00:17:25,846 --> 00:17:28,180
must learn to fight with his, or her,
429
00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:30,749
body and mind.
430
00:17:41,695 --> 00:17:43,763
A Librarian is more than a person.
431
00:17:43,764 --> 00:17:47,033
A Librarian is a shining beacon,
432
00:17:47,034 --> 00:17:51,437
reminding us of the best
humanity has to offer.
433
00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:53,639
Everything hurts.
434
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,242
Why did you make us do that?
435
00:17:56,243 --> 00:17:58,477
- That was grueling.
- Hmm.
436
00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:00,379
What are you doing over there?
437
00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:01,947
Yeah, come on. Join us.
438
00:18:01,948 --> 00:18:05,351
Have some of my famous
home-brewed mead.
439
00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:08,220
It's cheap wine mixed
with Shasta cola.
440
00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:09,922
- Ignore her.
- It's so good.
441
00:18:09,923 --> 00:18:11,090
You'll love it.
442
00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:13,259
It's been a very long time
443
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:16,694
since I partook in spirits. Hmm?
444
00:18:17,898 --> 00:18:19,230
Good stuff, huh?
445
00:18:23,437 --> 00:18:24,470
No, not at all.
446
00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:27,106
(LAUGHING)
447
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:31,911
So are you honestly gonna sit there
and not tell us about Camelot?
448
00:18:31,912 --> 00:18:34,714
We're D&D nerds. Spill.
449
00:18:34,715 --> 00:18:37,016
Come on, what was Arthur like?
450
00:18:37,017 --> 00:18:38,217
Bossy.
451
00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:40,720
A bit vain, but a good king.
452
00:18:40,721 --> 00:18:43,289
Was Merlin as cool as we think he is?
453
00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:45,558
- Cooler than you can imagine.
- Aww!
454
00:18:45,559 --> 00:18:47,860
To be a Knight of the Round Table.
455
00:18:47,861 --> 00:18:49,829
I bet it was a lot like this, right?
456
00:18:49,830 --> 00:18:53,199
Just sitting around, drinking mead,
457
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,767
telling tales of glory.
458
00:18:54,768 --> 00:18:58,237
Well, I don't know so much about that.
459
00:18:58,238 --> 00:19:00,272
I stayed to myself a lot.
460
00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:01,640
But you're Galahad,
461
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,275
the finder of the Holy Grail,
462
00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:04,543
nicknamed the "Perfect Knight."
463
00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:07,113
But also the illegitimate
son of Lancelot,
464
00:19:07,114 --> 00:19:08,714
not of true noble birth.
465
00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:10,282
I always felt different
than the others,
466
00:19:10,283 --> 00:19:11,884
even after joining the Library.
467
00:19:11,885 --> 00:19:15,721
I'm neither Librarian nor Guardian.
468
00:19:15,722 --> 00:19:17,223
It's...
469
00:19:17,224 --> 00:19:20,426
sort of on the outside looking in.
470
00:19:20,427 --> 00:19:22,995
I know what you're talking about.
471
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:24,296
I grew up an Army brat,
472
00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:26,966
so we moved eight times in 12 years.
473
00:19:26,967 --> 00:19:30,936
I never lived a single place
long enough to call home.
474
00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:33,539
You had it lucky.
I would've killed to move.
475
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:34,740
Beats sticking around, being picked on
476
00:19:34,741 --> 00:19:36,375
by all the beautiful people.
477
00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:38,878
Try dealing with a
family of overachievers.
478
00:19:38,879 --> 00:19:41,380
Do you know what it was
like during Thanksgiving?
479
00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:42,848
I was invisible.
480
00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:46,152
To the outcasts.
481
00:19:46,153 --> 00:19:48,854
Long may they reign.
482
00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:50,255
Huzzah.
483
00:19:52,125 --> 00:19:54,226
I will never drink
wine and Shasta again,
484
00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:55,361
that's for sure.
485
00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:57,096
Do you guys think this is too much?
486
00:19:57,097 --> 00:19:58,268
Maybe I should go
home and change Ag...
487
00:19:58,292 --> 00:20:00,166
No, stop it.
You've already changed twice.
488
00:20:00,167 --> 00:20:01,734
No, no, no, no, honey.
We shouldn't be late.
489
00:20:01,735 --> 00:20:02,968
I'm just gonna break into
the Magical Castle and...
490
00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:05,437
Hang up!
491
00:20:05,438 --> 00:20:07,872
We need to focus.
492
00:20:16,183 --> 00:20:20,319
Come. We have to enter here to gain
access to the underground chambers.
493
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,720
Where? The tree?
494
00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:27,359
Run directly into it.
495
00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:28,694
It will transport you there.
496
00:20:28,695 --> 00:20:30,129
It's an invisible door,
497
00:20:30,130 --> 00:20:32,231
just like the train
station in Harry Potter.
498
00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:33,866
Love it. (GROWLS)
499
00:20:33,867 --> 00:20:35,701
- Now that...
- Uh!
500
00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:37,703
Aurora, are you okay?
501
00:20:37,704 --> 00:20:41,006
Please tell me one of you
guys got a picture of that.
502
00:20:41,007 --> 00:20:42,174
That was awesome!
503
00:20:42,175 --> 00:20:46,478
The entrance is here.
504
00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:48,347
Get behind me.
505
00:20:48,348 --> 00:20:49,914
Follow me in.
506
00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:54,720
Now that was awesome.
507
00:20:54,721 --> 00:20:58,690
- Whoo! Yeah!
- Oh, my God!
508
00:21:02,863 --> 00:21:05,730
The door down there will take
us to the second chamber.
509
00:21:10,303 --> 00:21:14,173
Tell me that did not just
come up out of the floor.
510
00:21:14,174 --> 00:21:19,144
Interlocking pieces,
like part of a jigsaw puzzle.
511
00:21:19,145 --> 00:21:21,847
So if we solve it, then we can cross.
Awesome.
512
00:21:21,848 --> 00:21:23,649
Oh, well, I know puzzles
'cause I do them
513
00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:24,884
- with my kids all the time.
- Wait! Don't...
514
00:21:24,885 --> 00:21:27,753
(RUMBLING)
515
00:21:27,754 --> 00:21:29,521
What was that? What was that?
What was that?
516
00:21:29,522 --> 00:21:32,224
You set off one of the booby traps.
517
00:21:32,225 --> 00:21:33,926
- Sorry.
- Each wrong move
518
00:21:33,927 --> 00:21:36,629
makes the chamber
collapse a little more.
519
00:21:36,630 --> 00:21:38,162
What are we gonna do now?
520
00:21:40,970 --> 00:21:45,339
(HUMMING "POP GOES THE WEASEL")
521
00:21:46,976 --> 00:21:48,977
- (SCREAMING)
- (BOX SHRIEKING)
522
00:21:48,978 --> 00:21:50,312
(LAUGHS)
523
00:21:50,313 --> 00:21:53,315
- Awesome.
- Hello, Jenkins.
524
00:21:53,316 --> 00:21:58,687
Oh, well, if it isn't my favorite
math whiz/ synesthete/tumor survivor.
525
00:21:58,688 --> 00:22:00,389
What's happenin', Red?
526
00:22:00,390 --> 00:22:03,559
I just found this scroll I need
translated for an upcoming mission.
527
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:06,261
I couldn't find Stone, so I
thought maybe you could help me.
528
00:22:06,262 --> 00:22:09,098
You w... you want me
to Tran... translate?
529
00:22:09,099 --> 00:22:11,967
Yeah. It's just a mix of Sumerian
530
00:22:11,968 --> 00:22:14,770
and seventh-century archaic Latin.
531
00:22:14,771 --> 00:22:17,506
Should be a breeze for you.
After all, you are Jenkins.
532
00:22:17,507 --> 00:22:18,874
Yeah. Uh-huh, yeah.
533
00:22:18,875 --> 00:22:21,810
Uh-huh, what... Did you...
Did you hear that?
534
00:22:21,811 --> 00:22:23,245
Did you hear someone calling for me?
535
00:22:23,246 --> 00:22:24,947
I think I heard...
Yeah, I'll be right there!
536
00:22:24,948 --> 00:22:27,249
Translate the scroll, Jenkins.
537
00:22:27,250 --> 00:22:29,818
Oh, sure. Yeah, not a problem.
Not a problem.
538
00:22:29,819 --> 00:22:31,320
(CLEARS THROAT)
539
00:22:31,321 --> 00:22:32,855
(GROANS) Boy, they...
540
00:22:32,856 --> 00:22:35,324
sure make the font small
on these things, huh?
541
00:22:35,325 --> 00:22:37,025
Okay. Um,
542
00:22:37,026 --> 00:22:41,897
inter-way... is-yay... oming-cay.
543
00:22:41,898 --> 00:22:43,699
- Pig Latin.
- I knew it.
544
00:22:43,700 --> 00:22:45,401
- I knew you were a fake.
- What did you do with Jenkins?
545
00:22:45,402 --> 00:22:46,468
Oh, please don't hurt me.
546
00:22:46,469 --> 00:22:48,303
Tell us or we feed you to Nessie.
547
00:22:48,304 --> 00:22:51,707
No, please. Wait, the
Loch Ness Monster's here?
548
00:22:51,708 --> 00:22:54,209
- Start talking.
- Okay, all right.
549
00:22:54,210 --> 00:22:56,044
Um, um, uh-uh...
550
00:22:56,045 --> 00:22:58,013
Okay, my name is Jeff Peppers.
551
00:22:58,014 --> 00:23:00,015
I'm a 28-year-old tech
from Circuit Town.
552
00:23:00,016 --> 00:23:01,617
I found a book with magic in it,
553
00:23:01,618 --> 00:23:03,051
and I used it to swap
places with Jenkins.
554
00:23:03,052 --> 00:23:04,787
That's the book I was
telling you about.
555
00:23:04,788 --> 00:23:06,221
I didn't mean to hurt anybody.
556
00:23:06,222 --> 00:23:07,723
I just wanted to...
557
00:23:07,724 --> 00:23:09,291
rent him for a little while.
558
00:23:09,292 --> 00:23:10,993
You know, honestly,
I'm a really good guy.
559
00:23:10,994 --> 00:23:12,861
If you guys ever find
yourself out by Circuit Town,
560
00:23:12,862 --> 00:23:14,229
pop on in. I'll give you a discount.
561
00:23:14,230 --> 00:23:16,298
Well, on anything other
than Apple products
562
00:23:16,299 --> 00:23:17,833
'cause, you know, they don't really
give me that kind of pull...
563
00:23:17,834 --> 00:23:20,335
Where's this book?
564
00:23:20,336 --> 00:23:21,737
It's just over here.
565
00:23:21,738 --> 00:23:23,639
I hid it underneath one
of your end tables,
566
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:25,274
which are beautiful, by the way.
567
00:23:25,275 --> 00:23:26,708
Just show us the book.
568
00:23:26,709 --> 00:23:30,144
Yeah, no, there it is.
See? No harm, no foul.
569
00:23:32,715 --> 00:23:36,617
What is that? Are those hoof prints?
570
00:23:43,092 --> 00:23:46,027
(ROARING)
571
00:23:47,096 --> 00:23:49,131
AURORA: We've been
staring at this forever.
572
00:23:49,132 --> 00:23:50,933
There has to be a way
to figure this out.
573
00:23:50,934 --> 00:23:53,601
- Well...
- I know this.
574
00:23:54,804 --> 00:23:56,805
- Uh...
- Schmidt, what are you doing?
575
00:23:56,806 --> 00:23:58,073
Yeah, man, don't play around.
576
00:23:58,074 --> 00:24:01,276
Twenty pieces, each a triangle.
577
00:24:01,277 --> 00:24:04,813
Twenty pieces. Twenty triangles.
578
00:24:04,814 --> 00:24:06,615
Mr. Schmidt, we cannot
afford any mistakes.
579
00:24:06,616 --> 00:24:09,283
Trust me, guys. I got this.
580
00:24:26,369 --> 00:24:29,171
It's an icosahedron.
How did you know that?
581
00:24:29,172 --> 00:24:33,108
It's the one shape every D&D
player in the world knows.
582
00:24:33,109 --> 00:24:36,478
20-sided die.
Roll for initiative, bitches.
583
00:24:36,479 --> 00:24:38,881
- That was awesome!
- Dragon's fire, bro!
584
00:24:38,882 --> 00:24:41,115
Dungeon Master, bro!
585
00:24:42,785 --> 00:24:44,919
Mr. Schmidt.
586
00:24:47,257 --> 00:24:49,625
Now, we have to turn these dials
587
00:24:49,626 --> 00:24:52,226
exactly at the same time.
588
00:24:53,196 --> 00:24:56,697
One, two, three.
589
00:25:15,051 --> 00:25:16,685
This one looks fun.
590
00:25:16,686 --> 00:25:19,254
- (SCREAMS)
- Oh, God! What is that?
591
00:25:19,255 --> 00:25:22,524
Stop, stop, stop. Just stop.
592
00:25:22,525 --> 00:25:23,992
Past intruders in the Library.
593
00:25:23,993 --> 00:25:25,961
Many have tried. None have succeeded.
594
00:25:25,962 --> 00:25:27,502
Let's get out of this chamber quick.
595
00:25:29,999 --> 00:25:34,436
Would you please stop
setting off booby traps?
596
00:25:34,437 --> 00:25:38,173
What is wrong with you? Have you
not seen "Indy 3: Last Crusade"?
597
00:25:38,174 --> 00:25:39,841
Oh, is that the one with Shia LaBeouf?
598
00:25:39,842 --> 00:25:41,276
SCHMIDT: No, Dennis!
599
00:25:41,277 --> 00:25:44,346
- Gimme that boom.
- Excuse me?
600
00:25:44,347 --> 00:25:47,182
The tiles. It's just like
"Dance Dance Revolution."
601
00:25:47,183 --> 00:25:49,885
- What?
- It's this stupid dancing game
602
00:25:49,886 --> 00:25:52,387
where you step on glowing tiles
603
00:25:52,388 --> 00:25:54,122
that match a pattern.
604
00:25:54,123 --> 00:25:56,258
These tiles are glowing
in a repeating pattern,
605
00:25:56,259 --> 00:25:58,126
just like the song, "Gimme That Boom."
606
00:25:58,127 --> 00:25:59,127
Watch.
607
00:25:59,128 --> 00:26:03,832
(MUSIC PLAYING)
608
00:26:03,833 --> 00:26:06,368
♪ Gimme that boom, boom, boom ♪
609
00:26:06,369 --> 00:26:08,670
♪ Gimme that boom, boom, boom
610
00:26:08,671 --> 00:26:11,907
Holy roly poly, it's working.
611
00:26:11,908 --> 00:26:14,109
Come on.
612
00:26:14,110 --> 00:26:16,812
♪ Gimme that boom, boom, boom ♪
613
00:26:16,813 --> 00:26:19,681
♪ Gimme that boom, boom, boom ♪
614
00:26:19,682 --> 00:26:22,017
♪ Bang it with the bottom,
gonna make ya move ♪
615
00:26:22,018 --> 00:26:23,251
Come on, Jenkins, dance.
616
00:26:23,252 --> 00:26:25,687
- No.
- But you'll die!
617
00:26:25,688 --> 00:26:27,255
Much preferred. Thank you.
618
00:26:27,256 --> 00:26:29,324
Jenkins, you'll never
get your body back.
619
00:26:29,325 --> 00:26:32,394
♪ Gimme that, gimme that, gimme that ♪
620
00:26:32,395 --> 00:26:35,998
♪ That, that boom, boom, boom ♪
621
00:26:35,999 --> 00:26:39,201
♪ We get dressed up,
put on the makeup ♪
622
00:26:39,202 --> 00:26:41,269
Go, Jenkins! It's your birthday!
623
00:26:41,270 --> 00:26:43,005
- Go, Jenkins!
- Come on, Jenkins!
624
00:26:43,006 --> 00:26:45,407
- (GRUNTING)
- ♪ I can't stop this... ♪
625
00:26:45,408 --> 00:26:46,608
(MUSIC STOPS)
626
00:26:46,609 --> 00:26:47,909
Way to go, Sir Jenkins.
627
00:26:47,910 --> 00:26:50,312
Well done. Well done.
628
00:26:50,313 --> 00:26:53,749
But any of you ever mention this,
629
00:26:53,750 --> 00:26:54,950
I will end you.
630
00:26:54,951 --> 00:26:57,118
- Okay.
- Understood.
631
00:27:00,289 --> 00:27:04,125
Aurora. Now, just like before.
632
00:27:07,597 --> 00:27:10,265
- Whoa.
- Where are we?
633
00:27:10,266 --> 00:27:13,001
If this is the final chamber,
then where's the door?
634
00:27:13,002 --> 00:27:15,370
Maybe we did something wrong.
635
00:27:15,371 --> 00:27:18,106
SCHMIDT: Maybe we're in a dream,
636
00:27:18,107 --> 00:27:21,109
like inside the dream of some
giant sentient creature,
637
00:27:21,110 --> 00:27:23,745
and when he wakes up, we'll wake up.
638
00:27:23,746 --> 00:27:24,946
AURORA: Or we're in limbo,
639
00:27:24,947 --> 00:27:26,348
and we got in a huge car accident
640
00:27:26,349 --> 00:27:27,883
on the way here, and we all just died.
641
00:27:27,884 --> 00:27:30,285
- Or...
- Please, please, be quiet.
642
00:27:30,286 --> 00:27:31,920
I'm trying to concentrate.
643
00:27:31,921 --> 00:27:34,122
Don't worry, Sir Jenkins.
We will find a way out of here.
644
00:27:34,123 --> 00:27:35,657
Oh, God, I don't think so.
645
00:27:35,658 --> 00:27:37,793
I don't think we can dance
our way out of this one.
646
00:27:37,794 --> 00:27:39,728
Hey, she's just trying to be positive.
647
00:27:39,729 --> 00:27:42,397
I was an idiot thinking I could
train you as Librarians.
648
00:27:42,398 --> 00:27:43,498
It's impossible!
649
00:27:43,499 --> 00:27:45,867
And now here we are. We're stuck.
650
00:27:45,868 --> 00:27:46,968
Stuck in this room.
651
00:27:46,969 --> 00:27:49,104
I am stuck in this body.
652
00:27:49,105 --> 00:27:51,440
It's no use.
653
00:27:51,441 --> 00:27:52,607
Oh, God.
654
00:27:52,608 --> 00:27:54,176
It's...
655
00:27:54,177 --> 00:27:58,879
(GROANS) Hopeless. It's hopeless.
656
00:28:05,588 --> 00:28:06,720
Mr. Jenkins.
657
00:28:09,258 --> 00:28:11,359
There's this bedtime story
I often tell my kids.
658
00:28:11,360 --> 00:28:12,646
Oh, God.
659
00:28:12,647 --> 00:28:14,463
It... It's about a bunny
660
00:28:14,464 --> 00:28:16,865
that gets lost on his way
home from the dark wood,
661
00:28:16,866 --> 00:28:19,367
and he gets so scared, so frightened,
662
00:28:19,368 --> 00:28:23,171
that he wants to just curl up
in a little ball and give up.
663
00:28:23,172 --> 00:28:25,841
But then he remembers what
his mother always tells him.
664
00:28:25,842 --> 00:28:29,544
No matter how dark things look,
665
00:28:29,545 --> 00:28:32,146
just keep hopping and
you'll find your way home.
666
00:28:34,550 --> 00:28:35,749
Just keep hopping.
667
00:28:38,888 --> 00:28:40,122
Just keep...
668
00:28:40,123 --> 00:28:41,488
- (THUD)
- ...hopping.
669
00:28:46,929 --> 00:28:49,730
Just keep... hopping.
670
00:28:52,668 --> 00:28:54,269
- Yeah.
- Okay.
671
00:28:54,270 --> 00:28:58,073
Just keep... hopping!
672
00:28:58,074 --> 00:28:59,907
Hopping!
673
00:29:02,145 --> 00:29:04,880
And hopping!
674
00:29:04,881 --> 00:29:07,248
Find your way home!
675
00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:11,852
AURORA: We made it.
676
00:29:17,226 --> 00:29:20,595
That last chamber was a
test of perseverance.
677
00:29:20,596 --> 00:29:23,165
Thank you, Dennis.
678
00:29:23,166 --> 00:29:26,500
And thank you all for
bringing me this far.
679
00:29:28,004 --> 00:29:31,072
But here is where we must part.
680
00:29:31,073 --> 00:29:33,308
You mean, we can't go in?
681
00:29:33,309 --> 00:29:36,411
No. The Library must stay
a magical secret place.
682
00:29:36,412 --> 00:29:37,979
It cannot be shared with the public,
683
00:29:37,980 --> 00:29:40,816
despite what your friend Jeff thinks.
684
00:29:40,817 --> 00:29:42,717
Go to his house,
685
00:29:42,718 --> 00:29:44,486
and if all turns out well,
686
00:29:44,487 --> 00:29:46,820
you'll soon have your
friend back to normal.
687
00:29:54,263 --> 00:29:55,829
May I borrow your sword?
688
00:29:57,433 --> 00:30:00,334
Would you three take a knee, please?
689
00:30:03,573 --> 00:30:06,341
In the name of the ancient gods,
690
00:30:06,342 --> 00:30:08,076
and to all the ancient kings,
691
00:30:08,077 --> 00:30:12,247
I dub thee three honorary
knights of Camelot.
692
00:30:12,248 --> 00:30:14,315
Rise, knights.
693
00:30:18,588 --> 00:30:23,058
I have fought beside the
greatest of warriors,
694
00:30:23,059 --> 00:30:24,992
but none braver than you.
695
00:30:27,563 --> 00:30:28,929
(CHUCKLES)
696
00:30:30,766 --> 00:30:32,500
Now, go.
697
00:30:32,501 --> 00:30:35,536
I have an evil book I must find.
698
00:30:53,422 --> 00:30:56,958
Mr. Stone. Mr. Stone.
699
00:30:56,959 --> 00:30:59,694
Ezekiel. Cassan...
700
00:30:59,695 --> 00:31:01,863
Colonel?
701
00:31:01,864 --> 00:31:02,964
Colonel. Colonel.
702
00:31:03,132 --> 00:31:05,566
(CLATTERING)
703
00:31:10,141 --> 00:31:12,408
(CLATTERING)
704
00:31:13,111 --> 00:31:15,378
Show yourself!
705
00:31:18,516 --> 00:31:20,217
Oh, thank God.
706
00:31:20,218 --> 00:31:21,785
I thought that thing was back.
707
00:31:21,786 --> 00:31:23,053
You thief!
708
00:31:23,054 --> 00:31:24,497
Oh, crap. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
709
00:31:24,498 --> 00:31:25,898
You stole my body!
710
00:31:25,899 --> 00:31:27,767
Yes, yes, I did, but it was
just for a little while.
711
00:31:27,768 --> 00:31:29,235
I promise I was going to give it back.
712
00:31:29,236 --> 00:31:30,570
- Liar!
- No, I'm telling the truth.
713
00:31:30,571 --> 00:31:31,871
I told the Librarians about the book,
714
00:31:31,872 --> 00:31:33,739
and I was taking them to find it
715
00:31:33,740 --> 00:31:36,742
when this monster, it came out
and it attacked us, and I hid.
716
00:31:36,743 --> 00:31:38,878
You think that was bad?
Wait till I get hold of you!
717
00:31:38,879 --> 00:31:40,213
- Please, please, please.
- How dare you!
718
00:31:40,214 --> 00:31:42,248
Stop! Just stop. Please, please stop.
719
00:31:42,249 --> 00:31:44,217
I screwed up. I used the book,
720
00:31:44,218 --> 00:31:45,618
and I got in way over my head.
721
00:31:45,619 --> 00:31:47,286
I didn't mean for any
of this to happen.
722
00:31:47,287 --> 00:31:51,122
- (GROANS)
- I'm so sorry.
723
00:31:55,529 --> 00:31:59,599
That thing. What was that?
724
00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:03,869
That is Asmodeus, one of
the Seven Princes of Hell.
725
00:32:03,870 --> 00:32:07,940
Centuries ago, Merlin entrapped
him in that spellbook.
726
00:32:07,941 --> 00:32:09,909
But by you using it, you unknowingly
727
00:32:09,910 --> 00:32:12,845
released him back into the world.
728
00:32:12,846 --> 00:32:16,148
- Your friends, are they...
- They're...
729
00:32:16,149 --> 00:32:17,516
They'll be fine.
730
00:32:17,517 --> 00:32:20,019
It's just a form of hibernation.
731
00:32:20,020 --> 00:32:24,423
Asmodeus' power is limited for
now, but I must find him.
732
00:32:24,424 --> 00:32:26,692
I must entrap him again,
and to do that,
733
00:32:26,693 --> 00:32:28,694
I must be in my own body.
734
00:32:28,695 --> 00:32:31,897
- So give me that book back.
- You wanna switch back now?
735
00:32:31,898 --> 00:32:34,433
If I'm to fight a Prince of Hell,
736
00:32:34,434 --> 00:32:37,503
I can't do it in this...
737
00:32:37,504 --> 00:32:40,239
short, slightly overweight body.
738
00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:43,309
I need to be in my own skin.
739
00:32:43,310 --> 00:32:46,587
- But I like being you.
- Jeff!
740
00:32:46,588 --> 00:32:48,914
You saw my life. You
saw how much it sucks.
741
00:32:48,915 --> 00:32:51,883
I mean, I live in my mother's
basement, for Christ's sake.
742
00:32:52,619 --> 00:32:55,988
My life is not yours to take.
743
00:32:55,989 --> 00:32:57,923
I know. I know.
744
00:32:57,924 --> 00:32:59,125
It... It...
745
00:32:59,126 --> 00:33:01,427
It's just...
746
00:33:01,428 --> 00:33:04,664
You had to be me for a couple of days.
747
00:33:04,665 --> 00:33:06,331
I have to be me forever.
748
00:33:12,372 --> 00:33:15,641
Not long ago, I made a decision
749
00:33:15,642 --> 00:33:18,778
to become mortal.
750
00:33:18,779 --> 00:33:22,515
My choice. I... I did it willingly,
751
00:33:22,516 --> 00:33:25,851
but I will confess that
I was not prepared
752
00:33:25,852 --> 00:33:29,088
for what it would be like
to actually be human.
753
00:33:29,089 --> 00:33:32,058
And I've been struggling,
truly struggling,
754
00:33:32,059 --> 00:33:34,660
with the idea of growing
older, the limitations,
755
00:33:34,661 --> 00:33:36,729
and having to go into the world
756
00:33:36,730 --> 00:33:38,331
dealing with people?
757
00:33:38,332 --> 00:33:41,133
There are a lot of awful
people in the world.
758
00:33:41,134 --> 00:33:43,569
Do you know that? But I
think I'm coming to realize
759
00:33:43,570 --> 00:33:47,206
that I've been concentrating on
the negative a little too much,
760
00:33:47,207 --> 00:33:51,544
because on the other side
there are wonderful,
761
00:33:51,545 --> 00:33:55,448
amazing things in this
life, in your life.
762
00:33:55,449 --> 00:33:58,284
You have phenomenally
faithful friends,
763
00:33:58,285 --> 00:34:01,953
you have a loving mother,
and you have food.
764
00:34:02,789 --> 00:34:04,123
Yeah, food is good.
765
00:34:04,124 --> 00:34:05,124
Food is delicious.
766
00:34:05,125 --> 00:34:06,559
Yeah.
767
00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:08,227
And so there are beautiful
things in life,
768
00:34:08,228 --> 00:34:11,230
in your life,
and we have to embrace it all.
769
00:34:11,231 --> 00:34:13,833
Because, really, what's the
point of having a life
770
00:34:13,834 --> 00:34:17,302
if one does not live it fully?
771
00:34:24,177 --> 00:34:27,646
If I have followed
this recipe precisely,
772
00:34:27,647 --> 00:34:31,450
this should do the trick.
773
00:34:31,451 --> 00:34:34,520
- Ugh, it smells rank.
- Eh? It... well,
774
00:34:34,521 --> 00:34:37,356
it can't be any worse than your
friend Schmidt's homemade mead.
775
00:34:37,357 --> 00:34:38,823
Down the hatch.
776
00:34:42,529 --> 00:34:43,562
I could use a chaser.
777
00:34:43,563 --> 00:34:44,963
Ooh.
778
00:34:46,133 --> 00:34:49,133
Hey, what's going on?
Why do I still look like you?
779
00:34:52,239 --> 00:34:54,273
Perhaps the potion has
a delayed reaction.
780
00:34:54,274 --> 00:34:57,610
Oh, okay. So what? Do we just
sit here and wait it out?
781
00:34:57,611 --> 00:34:59,078
No, no, no. We have no time for that.
782
00:34:59,079 --> 00:35:01,447
For every minute
Asmodeus is out there,
783
00:35:01,448 --> 00:35:02,848
he gains in strength.
784
00:35:02,849 --> 00:35:05,818
Fortunately, we have
something he needs.
785
00:35:05,819 --> 00:35:08,053
When Merlin first captured Asmodeus,
786
00:35:08,054 --> 00:35:11,123
he took some of his
power as a precaution
787
00:35:11,124 --> 00:35:13,726
and contained it within a gem stone
788
00:35:13,727 --> 00:35:16,162
which Merlin then hid inside the book.
789
00:35:16,163 --> 00:35:18,531
Sort of a hide-in-plain sight thing.
790
00:35:18,532 --> 00:35:21,000
So as long as I have the gem stone,
791
00:35:21,001 --> 00:35:23,736
Asmodeus will not be fully powerful
792
00:35:23,737 --> 00:35:25,336
and I can defeat him.
793
00:35:27,507 --> 00:35:28,607
There's no... Where's the gem...
794
00:35:28,608 --> 00:35:30,476
there's no gemstone.
795
00:35:30,477 --> 00:35:33,412
This gemstone, um, was it...
796
00:35:33,413 --> 00:35:37,650
kinda small, sort of a reddish color?
797
00:35:37,651 --> 00:35:40,085
- Oh, Jeff, no.
- Look, I didn't know.
798
00:35:40,086 --> 00:35:41,387
It was just sitting
there inside the book.
799
00:35:41,388 --> 00:35:42,555
What did you do with it?
800
00:35:42,556 --> 00:35:44,423
(STAMMERS) You know, I...
801
00:35:44,424 --> 00:35:47,560
- I s...
- Sorry, you did what?
802
00:35:47,561 --> 00:35:51,063
- I sort of gave it to my mom.
- You gave it to your mom.
803
00:35:51,064 --> 00:35:53,065
Look, it was her birthday,
and it sort of looked
804
00:35:53,066 --> 00:35:54,967
like a cubic zirconia,
so I figured, why not?
805
00:35:54,968 --> 00:35:56,502
So I just gave it to her and then...
806
00:35:56,503 --> 00:35:58,037
I just don't wanna piss her off.
I mean, you know my mom.
807
00:35:58,038 --> 00:36:00,039
She can be a bit of
a ballbuster, so...
808
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:03,442
Listen to me, Jeff. Asmodeus will
be looking for that gemstone,
809
00:36:03,443 --> 00:36:04,677
so if it is with your mother...
810
00:36:04,678 --> 00:36:05,978
That's where Asmodeus is heading.
811
00:36:05,979 --> 00:36:08,514
And she and your friends
are in grave danger.
812
00:36:08,515 --> 00:36:09,615
What do we do?
813
00:36:09,616 --> 00:36:11,950
We take the battle to him.
814
00:36:18,725 --> 00:36:20,860
Now, when we get inside, stay close
815
00:36:20,861 --> 00:36:22,528
be prepared for anything.
816
00:36:22,529 --> 00:36:25,163
- I'm scared.
- You should be.
817
00:36:35,675 --> 00:36:38,744
Mom? Schmidt?
818
00:36:38,745 --> 00:36:41,947
- Asmodeus?
- What are you...
819
00:36:41,948 --> 00:36:44,550
- You don't call for the Prince of Hell.
- Right.
820
00:36:44,551 --> 00:36:45,985
(WOMAN SCREAMS)
821
00:36:45,986 --> 00:36:47,166
- (WOMAN SOBBING)
- (SNARLS)
822
00:36:48,722 --> 00:36:51,222
(ROARS)
823
00:36:52,442 --> 00:36:53,809
(GROWLING)
824
00:36:53,810 --> 00:36:56,278
Back, foul beast! Get the gemstone.
825
00:36:56,279 --> 00:36:58,447
She'll be safe without the gemstone.
826
00:36:58,448 --> 00:37:00,215
Hurry! Hurry!
827
00:37:00,216 --> 00:37:02,384
- JEFF: Mom, are you okay?
- MOTHER: What's going on?
828
00:37:02,385 --> 00:37:04,286
What's wrong with that man's face?
829
00:37:04,287 --> 00:37:05,454
Mom, I need the gemstone.
830
00:37:05,455 --> 00:37:07,055
No, tell him to get his own.
831
00:37:07,056 --> 00:37:08,957
Mom, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
832
00:37:08,958 --> 00:37:11,126
Got it!
833
00:37:11,127 --> 00:37:12,661
Time to go!
834
00:37:12,662 --> 00:37:15,596
- (ROARS)
- Bye, Mom!
835
00:37:19,569 --> 00:37:20,802
Come. Come. Come.
836
00:37:20,803 --> 00:37:22,604
We'll lure him back to the Library,
837
00:37:22,605 --> 00:37:24,806
trap him there.
838
00:37:24,807 --> 00:37:27,209
(SHOUTS)
839
00:37:27,210 --> 00:37:28,276
Damn it.
840
00:37:28,277 --> 00:37:29,277
Oh! To the basement.
841
00:37:29,278 --> 00:37:30,945
Go. Go. Go!
842
00:37:32,648 --> 00:37:35,384
Oh, my God, my friends.
843
00:37:35,385 --> 00:37:37,886
Oh, my God, this is all my fault.
844
00:37:37,887 --> 00:37:38,896
I did this.
845
00:37:38,897 --> 00:37:40,088
God, I'm such a schmuck.
846
00:37:40,089 --> 00:37:42,891
We don't have time for this.
He will find us.
847
00:37:42,892 --> 00:37:45,260
What if we just give him back the
gemstone, apologize, be like,
848
00:37:45,261 --> 00:37:47,029
"Asmodeus, we're really sorry
that we took your gemstone"?
849
00:37:47,030 --> 00:37:50,132
You wanted to be a Knight of
Camelot. Now is your chance.
850
00:37:50,133 --> 00:37:51,233
Fight.
851
00:37:51,234 --> 00:37:53,134
- I'm scared.
- Well...
852
00:37:55,204 --> 00:37:57,972
Oh, God! No, no, no, no!
853
00:38:02,011 --> 00:38:05,112
(BOTH GRUNTING)
854
00:38:23,933 --> 00:38:26,133
Jeff! Get out here and fight!
855
00:38:37,113 --> 00:38:38,445
Hey, zombie face!
856
00:38:39,382 --> 00:38:40,882
You want this?
857
00:38:40,883 --> 00:38:42,184
(SNARLS)
858
00:38:42,185 --> 00:38:46,221
You shall not pass!
859
00:38:46,222 --> 00:38:48,023
(GROWLS)
860
00:38:48,024 --> 00:38:49,958
Okay. No, I'm just kidding.
You can have it.
861
00:38:49,959 --> 00:38:50,992
You can have it. I don't want it.
862
00:38:50,993 --> 00:38:52,294
Take it, please. Just take it.
863
00:38:52,295 --> 00:38:54,128
Take it. I don't want it.
864
00:38:55,631 --> 00:38:59,800
(LAUGHING)
865
00:39:12,482 --> 00:39:14,048
Well done.
866
00:39:16,152 --> 00:39:17,919
You fought well.
867
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:22,524
Yeah. Well, it's easy when
you're Galahad the brave knight.
868
00:39:22,525 --> 00:39:24,024
Take a look in the mirror.
869
00:39:25,595 --> 00:39:28,964
I did this?
870
00:39:28,965 --> 00:39:30,098
As myself?
871
00:39:30,099 --> 00:39:31,399
Like a true knight.
872
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:35,102
We switched back when we
came through the magic door.
873
00:39:37,206 --> 00:39:38,507
Oh, I think I'm gonna puke.
874
00:39:38,508 --> 00:39:41,242
- Oh.
- (JEFF RETCHING)
875
00:39:42,545 --> 00:39:43,778
Jeff, is that really you?
876
00:39:43,779 --> 00:39:45,914
- Dude!
- Hey, what's up, guys?
877
00:39:45,915 --> 00:39:47,749
Dude!
878
00:39:47,750 --> 00:39:50,585
(LAUGHING)
879
00:39:50,586 --> 00:39:51,786
JEFF: Oh, my God,
I have so many stories.
880
00:39:51,787 --> 00:39:53,588
AURORA: It was amazing.
We got knighted.
881
00:39:53,589 --> 00:39:55,123
(ALL CHATTERING)
882
00:39:55,124 --> 00:39:56,224
I wasn't even scared.
883
00:39:57,894 --> 00:39:59,227
I found Poseidon's Trident.
884
00:39:59,228 --> 00:40:01,029
Jeff was roasting
marshmallows with it.
885
00:40:01,030 --> 00:40:03,198
Still better than what he was
doing with the Shroud Of Turin.
886
00:40:03,199 --> 00:40:05,567
Good Lord, how much
damage can one man cause?
887
00:40:05,568 --> 00:40:07,669
We're just happy to have you back.
888
00:40:07,670 --> 00:40:10,939
What about you, mate? You still
haven't told us what it was like.
889
00:40:10,940 --> 00:40:12,841
Yeah, it must've been awful, huh,
890
00:40:12,842 --> 00:40:14,976
hanging out with the common folk?
891
00:40:14,977 --> 00:40:19,546
Actually, you know, people aren't
bad if you give 'em half a chance.
892
00:40:21,551 --> 00:40:23,318
They can be quite delightful.
893
00:40:23,319 --> 00:40:25,386
I have an appointment
I have to get to.
894
00:40:26,455 --> 00:40:28,422
I think I'll drive.
895
00:40:30,626 --> 00:40:34,162
Did he just say people
could be delightful?
896
00:40:34,163 --> 00:40:35,896
Wonders never cease.
897
00:40:39,468 --> 00:40:41,836
So that mind flayer?
He, like, melted his brain.
898
00:40:41,837 --> 00:40:43,004
- Yeah, my favorite.
- That was so good.
899
00:40:43,005 --> 00:40:44,005
I just replay that over and over.
900
00:40:44,006 --> 00:40:46,841
- Hey, Jenkins!
- Jenkins!
901
00:40:46,842 --> 00:40:48,543
JEFF: What's up, dude?
You're just in time.
902
00:40:48,544 --> 00:40:50,645
We're just about to fight the
acid-spewing black dragon.
903
00:40:50,646 --> 00:40:54,015
First of all, black dragons breathe
fire. They do not spew acid.
904
00:40:54,016 --> 00:40:56,918
- He's so good.
- And I brought your mom
905
00:40:56,919 --> 00:40:58,186
a nice big bag of Werther's Originals.
906
00:40:58,187 --> 00:40:59,688
- Aww, thanks.
- And you know what?
907
00:40:59,689 --> 00:41:01,556
If I'm gonna continue
playing with you guys,
908
00:41:01,557 --> 00:41:03,458
I need to be Dungeon Master.
909
00:41:03,459 --> 00:41:05,227
- Agreed.
- What? No.
910
00:41:05,228 --> 00:41:07,128
- Dude, come on.
- I'm moving. I'm moving.
911
00:41:07,129 --> 00:41:09,864
Dude, dude, I can't have
you playing this game
912
00:41:09,865 --> 00:41:12,067
with all of these inaccuracies.
913
00:41:12,068 --> 00:41:14,869
Fine, but my character gets to
have the ring of fire resistance.
914
00:41:14,870 --> 00:41:16,504
- Yes! Happening.
- Another ring?
915
00:41:16,505 --> 00:41:18,306
- Ring of fire... every time.
- No. It's not a real thing.
916
00:41:18,307 --> 00:41:21,743
Shh. Okay, danger.
917
00:41:21,744 --> 00:41:24,845
The moat? It is dark.
918
00:41:25,047 --> 00:41:28,115
But you must cross it.
65968
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
