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1
00:00:03,294 --> 00:00:04,588
Previously on Future Man...
2
00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:07,089
What happened, you spaz
out playing Biotic Wars?
3
00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:09,343
Smash your joystick again?
4
00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:11,887
Santiago!
5
00:00:14,805 --> 00:00:17,475
Thanks to you I've made
all my research public.
6
00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:19,894
Time to die, Dr. Death.
7
00:00:26,652 --> 00:00:28,445
Wait, that's Carl, he's human!
8
00:00:28,527 --> 00:00:30,571
I know these people, I work with them!
9
00:00:30,655 --> 00:00:34,076
Of course you do,
Biotics could be anybody.
10
00:00:34,158 --> 00:00:36,244
That's what makes this so fucked up.
11
00:00:39,307 --> 00:00:43,835
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
12
00:00:51,093 --> 00:00:52,886
Shit, shit, shit, shit!
13
00:00:52,969 --> 00:00:54,304
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!
14
00:00:54,387 --> 00:00:56,097
- Stop shitting!
- Fuck, fuck!
15
00:00:56,180 --> 00:00:57,780
Why didn't the game say they were human?
16
00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:00,476
Because we didn't want to humanize them!
17
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:01,895
What's with their nutsack faces?
18
00:01:01,978 --> 00:01:03,939
That's biomembrane,
it helps them heal faster.
19
00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:05,439
- Why'd you block our shot?
- Oh my god,
20
00:01:05,524 --> 00:01:06,817
those are people that
I fucking work with.
21
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,527
Barely people, they're grown in labs!
22
00:01:08,609 --> 00:01:10,778
Why the fuck did you block our shot?
23
00:01:10,861 --> 00:01:13,156
Because killing Kronish
won't help, all right?
24
00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:14,240
His research is already out there,
25
00:01:14,323 --> 00:01:15,617
the cure can come from anyone!
26
00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:17,911
Yeah, because of you, you dick weevil.
27
00:01:17,995 --> 00:01:19,974
- Are there more of these things?
- Absolutely!
28
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:20,924
Hit it!
29
00:01:20,948 --> 00:01:23,959
Sleeper agents, they knew
he came back to 2017,
30
00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:26,043
they sent them earlier
to hide in plain sight.
31
00:01:26,128 --> 00:01:29,298
- That's kind of cool I guess.
- Let's just leave them here.
32
00:01:29,381 --> 00:01:33,051
No, no, guys, you can't
just leave them anywhere.
33
00:01:33,134 --> 00:01:35,429
You can't leave anything
from the future in the past,
34
00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:38,390
especially not these genetically
perfect mutant creatures
35
00:01:38,472 --> 00:01:40,141
with nutsack membrane faces!
36
00:01:40,224 --> 00:01:41,685
If these things got into
the wrong hands who knows
37
00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:43,811
what kind of future
you guys would have left.
38
00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:47,858
Come on, this is Time Travel 101.
39
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:50,402
Okay, then how do we get rid of them?
40
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:55,156
Oh, fuck.
41
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,825
I think I know how.
42
00:02:01,203 --> 00:02:05,250
Why is this human body
disposal unit so small?
43
00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:06,573
Well, it's really only designed
44
00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:09,086
for incinerating dead possums.
45
00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:10,756
Dr. Kronish's big breakthrough came
46
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from studying their DNA.
47
00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:14,092
I guess there's something super special
48
00:02:14,175 --> 00:02:16,510
about their ejaculate.
49
00:02:16,594 --> 00:02:18,013
How do they die?
50
00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:20,306
Well, sometimes the lab techs need
51
00:02:20,389 --> 00:02:21,849
a lot of their ejaculate,
52
00:02:21,932 --> 00:02:23,352
so they stimulate the possum
53
00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:26,312
and make it cum more than natural,
54
00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:29,483
and I guess they push it too far,
55
00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:33,694
and the possum cums to death.
56
00:02:33,778 --> 00:02:36,114
How often does that happen?
57
00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:40,534
Often enough we had
to get an incinerator.
58
00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:41,745
Huh.
59
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:44,413
Well...
60
00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:48,251
Let's get to it.
61
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,224
I can't watch this anymore.
62
00:03:03,307 --> 00:03:04,935
Hey.
63
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,895
You better fucking watch this, okay?
64
00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:09,355
Because you need to know
how to take out these perfs.
65
00:03:09,381 --> 00:03:10,373
Perfs?
66
00:03:10,399 --> 00:03:13,943
We call these genetically
perfect assholes.
67
00:03:14,026 --> 00:03:15,736
Not so perfect anymore!
68
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:20,324
All right, what was this one's name?
69
00:03:20,408 --> 00:03:23,328
I don't know, I never talked with her.
70
00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:25,163
She's just so pretty.
71
00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:28,207
Yeah, they're all fucking
pretty on the outside.
72
00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:30,168
I always called her Pretty Smile Girl.
73
00:03:30,252 --> 00:03:31,586
All right, imagine this,
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00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:33,254
Pretty Smile Girl, she's coming at you
75
00:03:33,337 --> 00:03:34,713
and all you have is your shredder blade.
76
00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:36,550
You stab Pretty Smile Girl in the liver.
77
00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:37,843
That's a fucking kill.
78
00:03:37,925 --> 00:03:40,679
You stab Pretty Smile Girl
in the heart, that's a kill.
79
00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:42,347
But Pretty Smile Girl's head?
80
00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:43,639
You're going to want to be real careful
81
00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:44,932
of Pretty Smile Girl's head.
82
00:03:45,015 --> 00:03:47,269
Can we please just leave
Pretty Smile Girl's head alone?
83
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:49,062
No.
84
00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:53,608
Every Biotic soldier has a
bomb implanted in their head.
85
00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:57,653
If a Biotic's about to be
captured, they trigger this.
86
00:03:57,736 --> 00:03:58,780
Brain bomb.
87
00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:01,532
It blows their heads so
they can't be interrogated.
88
00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:03,617
It also sends a distress
signal to the future
89
00:04:03,701 --> 00:04:06,455
telling the Biotics
to send reinforcements.
90
00:04:06,538 --> 00:04:08,858
I really feel like you should've
included that in the game.
91
00:04:08,914 --> 00:04:10,375
That's why we spend
a year of combat-training
92
00:04:10,459 --> 00:04:14,086
just learning how to stab right there.
93
00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:15,838
It won't kill them,
94
00:04:15,921 --> 00:04:18,132
but it does disable the bomb.
95
00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:23,346
Noted.
96
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,223
One more for the gobulator.
97
00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:32,521
Are you sure that's safe?
98
00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:34,774
Fuck you think a gobulator does?
99
00:04:44,533 --> 00:04:46,119
All right, Wolf, fire up the TTD.
100
00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:47,579
Let's go back to earlier today
101
00:04:47,661 --> 00:04:50,206
before Future Man fucked everything up.
102
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,625
Take out Kronish.
103
00:04:51,707 --> 00:04:53,502
No, no, you guys don't get it.
104
00:04:53,584 --> 00:04:56,420
Kronish has been doing this
research his entire life.
105
00:04:56,504 --> 00:04:57,963
Okay, even if you went
back and killed him,
106
00:04:58,048 --> 00:04:59,466
somebody else could just
pick up where he left off
107
00:04:59,548 --> 00:05:01,843
and the cure would still be created.
108
00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:04,762
I mean, the only way
you could be sure is to...
109
00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:07,014
I don't know, you'd have to do
a full-on Terminator thing.
110
00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:09,434
Go back and stop him
before he was ever born.
111
00:05:09,518 --> 00:05:12,978
Or we kill him when he's one
of those little baby things.
112
00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:15,899
No, absolutely not,
you cannot kill a baby.
113
00:05:15,981 --> 00:05:18,360
- They're invincible?
- No, they are helpless
114
00:05:18,442 --> 00:05:20,821
- and they're very soft.
- Perfect, easy kill.
115
00:05:20,903 --> 00:05:22,822
Yeah, give us a date.
116
00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:25,283
- That fucker!
- What?
117
00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:29,286
The TTD got damaged in the fight.
118
00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:30,956
Shit, that's not a lot of Cameronium.
119
00:05:31,038 --> 00:05:33,375
Maybe enough for one
more jump if we're lucky.
120
00:05:33,457 --> 00:05:34,709
What the hell is Cameronium?
121
00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:36,877
It's the fuel the TTD runs off of.
122
00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:38,754
Talk about Time Travel 101.
123
00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:40,882
All right, this is what we do.
124
00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:43,343
We use our last jump, we go
back, we kill baby Kronish.
125
00:05:43,425 --> 00:05:45,387
That, that is the new mission.
126
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,555
No, no!
127
00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:49,975
Killing a baby is absolutely wrong
128
00:05:50,057 --> 00:05:52,226
and it makes us the monsters.
129
00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:54,771
Agree to disagree, give us a date.
130
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:56,105
I don't know when he was born.
131
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,983
Wolf, choke it out of him.
132
00:05:58,066 --> 00:06:00,694
- Gladly.
- No, no, no, no.
133
00:06:00,776 --> 00:06:02,862
No, no!
134
00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:05,406
If you can't jump back to your time,
135
00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:06,740
then you'll never know if your mission
136
00:06:06,824 --> 00:06:08,617
was a success or not.
137
00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:11,370
What if killing Kronish
doesn't actually work?
138
00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:14,790
- It'll work.
- Are you sure?
139
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,209
Don't you want proof?
140
00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:22,632
I mean, what do you even
really know about time travel?
141
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:25,468
Do you know about multiverses?
142
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:27,928
Or alternate realities?
143
00:06:28,012 --> 00:06:29,639
Or what about time loops?
144
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:32,266
Because if you're wrong
about one of those things
145
00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:34,269
then your mission will
be a complete failure
146
00:06:34,351 --> 00:06:37,980
and you'll be stuck in the past forever.
147
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:40,483
Fine, we'll find more Cameronium here,
148
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:41,985
and then we are going back
149
00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:44,112
and we're killing little baby Kronish.
150
00:06:44,194 --> 00:06:46,447
Where's the closest Cameronium outpost?
151
00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:50,159
I just told you I don't even
know what Cameronium is.
152
00:06:50,242 --> 00:06:52,954
It's biofuel, it's been around forever.
153
00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:56,040
- What's it made of?
- I... plants, I don't know!
154
00:06:56,124 --> 00:07:00,295
You tell us, you're the scientist.
155
00:07:00,377 --> 00:07:02,047
You work in a laboratory.
156
00:07:02,129 --> 00:07:04,257
That's your science wand.
157
00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:09,178
What is your job here?
158
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,059
A fucking janitor?
159
00:07:14,141 --> 00:07:16,978
Do you know who's a janitor
where we come from?
160
00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:19,064
- A robot?
- Nobody!
161
00:07:19,146 --> 00:07:20,481
Because in a battle of survival,
162
00:07:20,564 --> 00:07:22,567
no one gives a dick about clean floors!
163
00:07:22,651 --> 00:07:24,151
I knew he wasn't the savior,
I knew it the minute
164
00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:25,737
he jizzed all over my torso!
165
00:07:25,819 --> 00:07:27,237
- I can still help!
- No, no, no.
166
00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:29,115
You can't, we don't need you.
167
00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:30,658
You get in the way, you're weak,
168
00:07:30,742 --> 00:07:33,536
you fucking inspired Kronish
to share the cure!
169
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:37,915
And on a personal level,
I'm not sure I like you.
170
00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:41,336
You're off the team, Futterman.
171
00:07:41,418 --> 00:07:44,838
Even your name's a disappointment.
172
00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:46,591
Guys, don't do this!
173
00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:50,136
- Where are you going?
- To finish the mission without you.
174
00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:51,805
You're covered in brains!
175
00:07:51,887 --> 00:07:53,555
Eat a dick!
176
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:43,063
Keep your eyes peeled
from a Cameronium outpost.
177
00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:46,567
- Call 911.
- I want one of those.
178
00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:52,115
Best cock I've ever eaten.
179
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:57,202
Hey, we're in luck.
180
00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:59,121
Green plus of Cameronium, see?
181
00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:01,166
We don't need that idiot.
182
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:05,544
- Where's the Cameronium?
- I already told you,
183
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:08,214
the most powerful stuff we
have is the Godfather OG Kush.
184
00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:10,466
It doesn't get any stronger than that.
185
00:09:12,509 --> 00:09:14,928
Cameronium is way stronger,
it'll skull-fuck
186
00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:17,432
your fucking OG Kush
to another dimension.
187
00:09:17,514 --> 00:09:19,642
Hey man, I'd love to try it sometime.
188
00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:21,977
If you track it down, hit me up.
189
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,605
Go easy on those macaroons, dude.
190
00:09:23,687 --> 00:09:25,774
- Those are 20 mgs of pot.
- Huh?
191
00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:31,904
Shit, last thing we
need is more dead cops.
192
00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:33,405
More?
193
00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:04,437
Hey, what are you doing?
Get off the street!
194
00:10:14,404 --> 00:10:15,823
Okay, we can rule out the green truck
195
00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:17,386
as a Cameronium source, but I just...
196
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,952
Owl said that no matter
what time we were in,
197
00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:23,873
we'd be able to find it.
What would Owl do if he were here?
198
00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:25,125
Nothing.
199
00:10:25,207 --> 00:10:28,753
Biotics put a merm in his
head and ate his brain.
200
00:10:28,836 --> 00:10:30,337
I watched him die.
201
00:10:30,421 --> 00:10:33,216
Yeah, I know, Wolf, I was there.
202
00:10:33,298 --> 00:10:37,177
Oh, oh, you're talking pre-merm Owl.
203
00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:39,429
Fuck yes, I'm talking pre-merm Owl.
204
00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:43,475
You know what's crazy?
205
00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:45,311
We're time travelers.
206
00:10:45,394 --> 00:10:46,855
What the fuck is wrong
with you right now?
207
00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:49,481
Why are you acting like
you're drunk off piss wine?
208
00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:51,692
Why are you acting so mean?
209
00:10:51,775 --> 00:10:53,193
Are you like actually mad,
210
00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:55,028
or are you just joking mad?
211
00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:56,364
You need to focus!
212
00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:58,740
We are in a time that
we know nothing about.
213
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:02,370
Maybe sending a video game
back in time to find
214
00:11:02,452 --> 00:11:06,541
humanity's savior was, like, a bad plan.
215
00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:07,833
Oh my god, you're not helping.
216
00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:11,004
You're just fucking shoving
street cock in your mouth
217
00:11:11,086 --> 00:11:13,214
and looking at your hands
for 45 minutes.
218
00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:16,134
- That cock was so delicious.
- You're going soft on me.
219
00:11:16,216 --> 00:11:17,885
Do you realize it's just us now?
220
00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:19,803
We're the only ones left.
221
00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:22,222
I need you to stay hard.
222
00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:24,057
- I am hard.
- Rock hard?
223
00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:26,226
So god damn fucking hard solid.
224
00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:30,063
- Solid as a fucking rock?
- Yeah!
225
00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:33,400
Then prove it.
226
00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:34,943
Eat that rat.
227
00:11:53,337 --> 00:11:56,131
God, this is so disgusting.
228
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,426
Get the fuck out, no,
you're not allowed.
229
00:11:58,509 --> 00:12:00,177
Back up from whence you came.
230
00:12:00,260 --> 00:12:02,554
This is the command center
for the resistance.
231
00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:04,139
- Please, listen.
- No, there's no Futtermans
232
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:05,350
allowed, there's no janitors allowed,
233
00:12:05,432 --> 00:12:07,434
there is no one shorter
than us allowed down here.
234
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:09,645
Okay, I know that you're
like super pissed
235
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,648
at me right now, but I have an idea
236
00:12:11,730 --> 00:12:13,316
and I swear to you it's going to work.
237
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:14,567
We've got this shit figured out,
238
00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:15,985
we're fine without you.
239
00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:18,153
We've got a plan, we're
rolling out a new plan.
240
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,782
We've got a lot of leads,
Wolf has some leads.
241
00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:24,076
- Wolf?
- I don't have any leads.
242
00:12:24,159 --> 00:12:26,955
Guys, please, let me back on the team.
243
00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:28,038
Get cleaned up.
244
00:12:28,121 --> 00:12:30,291
I know where to get more Cameronium.
245
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:38,674
I don't remember buying
this, then I realized
246
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:41,970
- it was my dad's Fleshlight.
- Oh, that makes sense, yeah.
247
00:12:42,052 --> 00:12:44,304
And nothing's changed here, okay.
248
00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:45,889
Well, look who's back again.
249
00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:48,350
You break another joystick
playing Biotic Wars or...?
250
00:12:48,433 --> 00:12:50,352
Uh, no, I stopped playing.
251
00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:54,524
Those characters were so unrealistic.
252
00:12:54,606 --> 00:12:56,942
Boing.
253
00:12:57,025 --> 00:13:00,613
Hey, you're still dating that,
like, chemist guy, right?
254
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:03,157
- The professor dude?
- Lyle?
255
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:06,576
No, we broke up, I call
him Professor Ex now.
256
00:13:06,660 --> 00:13:07,745
That's funny.
257
00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:09,621
Was it like a bad messy kind of breakup
258
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:11,499
or the kind where you
could like casually
259
00:13:11,581 --> 00:13:13,000
put me in contact with him?
260
00:13:13,083 --> 00:13:14,418
No, I mean, I hate him, he used to wear
261
00:13:14,501 --> 00:13:17,004
a button-down shirt every
time we fucked, I hate him.
262
00:13:17,087 --> 00:13:18,965
- Why do you ask?
- Oh, no, nothing.
263
00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:21,049
I just, I started taking these classes
264
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:24,636
at a community college,
and my first assignment
265
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:27,472
actually was to interview
a chemist and I thought...
266
00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:29,475
Oh yeah, what community
college are you at?
267
00:13:29,558 --> 00:13:33,770
Uh, it's the California
Community College.
268
00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:35,534
Oh yeah, I've literally
never heard of that
269
00:13:35,605 --> 00:13:36,857
community college in my life.
270
00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:38,985
It's good, yeah, it's good.
271
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:44,407
Hey, can I help you?
272
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:46,868
I can't imagine a situation
where you could.
273
00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:49,828
Oh, nice, the game's afoot.
274
00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:52,414
I've got to say, this
is a pretty dope cosplay.
275
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:55,668
What is this, Armor Craft
Foam or Wonderflex?
276
00:13:55,751 --> 00:13:58,421
It's titanium PX3900 exoshield.
277
00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:00,715
Bulletproof, laser-proof, claw-proof.
278
00:14:00,798 --> 00:14:02,049
Oh, you're funny, I like that.
279
00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:04,427
Don't touch me, don't ever touch me.
280
00:14:04,509 --> 00:14:06,636
Shopkeep, I have some questions
281
00:14:06,721 --> 00:14:09,599
about this little boy's
murder simulator.
282
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,642
I'm with a customer.
283
00:14:11,725 --> 00:14:15,437
Anyway, you gonna hit up
Dragon Con this year or what?
284
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:17,731
I swear to you, it's a real school!
285
00:14:17,815 --> 00:14:20,442
Oh yeah, what's the mascot
for your real school?
286
00:14:20,525 --> 00:14:22,653
It's a real bird!
287
00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:24,404
You're a terrible liar like Pinocchio,
288
00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:26,532
and Pinocchio was wack.
289
00:14:29,826 --> 00:14:31,037
Ow!
290
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,788
Why would you talk to someone
291
00:14:32,871 --> 00:14:34,206
who doesn't want to talk to you?
292
00:14:34,289 --> 00:14:36,709
Because I'm a guy, okay, just let me go!
293
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:38,251
Futterman, you know this chick?
294
00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:40,504
No, no, I don't.
295
00:14:40,587 --> 00:14:44,008
Fine, fine, next time he loses the arm.
296
00:14:44,091 --> 00:14:45,509
Wait a second.
297
00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:52,725
Did you hire like a super
strong hooker to dress up
298
00:14:52,808 --> 00:14:54,684
like the girl from Biotic Wars?
299
00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:56,269
No, I actually didn't.
300
00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:58,022
What a nasty freak he is.
301
00:14:58,105 --> 00:14:59,231
She doesn't even look like her.
302
00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:00,649
Okay, you know what, we're wasting time.
303
00:15:00,732 --> 00:15:02,527
Whoa, no, stop, he's going to have
304
00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:03,820
a conversation over here real quick.
305
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:07,657
What the fuck, man?
306
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:10,868
Okay, look, for the first time ever,
307
00:15:10,951 --> 00:15:12,787
my life has meaning.
308
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:15,123
Okay, I have found a true purpose.
309
00:15:15,206 --> 00:15:19,210
I can help a lot of people,
but in order to do that
310
00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:21,629
I believe it is vital
for me to get in contact
311
00:15:21,711 --> 00:15:24,798
with your ex for my quest.
312
00:15:24,881 --> 00:15:26,591
What do you say?
313
00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:28,760
- Oh, wow.
- He's pretty stupid.
314
00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:30,303
- Yeah.
- He's pretty stupid.
315
00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:32,431
It's really like... like you had me
316
00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:34,267
and then you just totally lost me.
317
00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:35,350
You know what, fuck it.
318
00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:36,852
I'm just going to tell
you guys the truth, okay?
319
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,980
I beat the Biotic Wars
and it turns out that game
320
00:15:39,062 --> 00:15:41,023
was actually a simulator
sent back from the future
321
00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:42,899
to find humanity's savior, which is me,
322
00:15:42,984 --> 00:15:44,568
and now our time machine
is all out of fuel
323
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:46,153
and we need to find more,
which is why I hope
324
00:15:46,236 --> 00:15:47,654
your ex can help us get more fuel.
325
00:15:47,738 --> 00:15:49,322
So, that's it, all the fate of humanity
326
00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:52,701
depends upon this moment
right here and now.
327
00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:57,831
Why didn't you just open with that, bro?
328
00:15:57,914 --> 00:15:59,375
Yeah, come on, we're here to help.
329
00:15:59,457 --> 00:16:01,918
- Get that address.
- For real?
330
00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:05,505
Here's Lyle, I hope he can help.
331
00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:07,008
Great, thank you.
332
00:16:07,091 --> 00:16:08,509
Yeah, good luck saving humanity.
333
00:16:08,533 --> 00:16:09,568
Thank you very much.
334
00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:10,927
- Get that time travel juice.
- All right!
335
00:16:11,011 --> 00:16:13,556
- Hey guys, let's go!
- All right.
336
00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:15,182
See you guys, come on, let's go.
337
00:16:15,265 --> 00:16:17,976
- All right.
- Freak.
338
00:16:18,059 --> 00:16:19,644
He is totally going to kill somebody.
339
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,147
Hopefully Lyle.
340
00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:22,440
See, I got us the address, guys.
341
00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:24,024
Aren't you glad I'm back on the team?
342
00:16:24,107 --> 00:16:26,860
Your cover story fell apart
like a shit in your hands.
343
00:16:26,943 --> 00:16:28,361
Well, like you could
do any better, Wolf.
344
00:16:28,446 --> 00:16:31,448
I could, I'm better
than you at everything.
345
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:33,533
Man, what's with this negativity?
346
00:16:33,618 --> 00:16:35,912
Like, that plan totally worked,
we're like a dream team,
347
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,370
- guys, come on.
- You're back on the team
348
00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:40,332
on a provisional basis only,
please remember that.
349
00:16:40,415 --> 00:16:43,418
Yes, Tiger, you've made
that abundantly clear to me.
350
00:16:43,501 --> 00:16:46,713
Look, can you please put on Mom's coat?
351
00:16:46,797 --> 00:16:49,674
- You look really ridiculous.
- What?
352
00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:52,677
Come on, Wolf's rocking
my dad's shit too.
353
00:16:52,761 --> 00:16:54,304
- Here.
- Fine.
354
00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:56,349
Only because you got us the address.
355
00:16:56,432 --> 00:16:59,559
And a ride to the address.
356
00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:00,686
- Futterman?
- Right here.
357
00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:03,022
All right, let's go, team.
358
00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:06,233
♪ I wear my sunglasses at night ♪
359
00:17:06,317 --> 00:17:08,568
Pilot, what is this music?
360
00:17:08,659 --> 00:17:11,369
I think it's Corey Hart.
361
00:17:11,446 --> 00:17:13,156
I like Corey Hart.
362
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:16,076
Wolf likes something, turn that shit up.
363
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,577
All right!
364
00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:21,249
♪ I wear my sunglasses at night ♪
365
00:17:21,332 --> 00:17:25,711
♪ So I can, so I can ♪
366
00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:26,962
No, no, no.
367
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,673
You're off the mark, Corbin.
368
00:17:28,756 --> 00:17:30,090
I need you to go back
to the drawing board,
369
00:17:30,173 --> 00:17:32,093
have a sandwich, just start over.
370
00:17:32,175 --> 00:17:34,386
- Excuse me?
- Professor Karofsky.
371
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:38,932
Hi, I am Josh Pastman from Kronish Labs.
372
00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:39,933
Um...
373
00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:42,435
- This is my assistant, he's...
- Corey Wolfhart.
374
00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:45,439
That's quite a grip, Mr. Wolfhart.
375
00:17:45,522 --> 00:17:46,898
You can let go.
376
00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:48,401
And this is my other assistant...
377
00:17:48,483 --> 00:17:52,697
Tiger, I'm his mission commander.
378
00:17:52,779 --> 00:17:55,282
I swear, it feels like it sometimes.
379
00:17:55,365 --> 00:17:57,117
Tiger?
380
00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:59,287
Yeah, that's her Burning Man name.
381
00:17:59,369 --> 00:18:03,290
Huh, I'm never more myself
than when I'm at the Burn.
382
00:18:03,374 --> 00:18:05,792
Namaste, what can I help you with?
383
00:18:05,875 --> 00:18:07,195
Well, basically over at the labs,
384
00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:09,171
we've got this special
piece of equipment
385
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:11,798
that utilizes a very unique biofuel
386
00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:14,259
and unfortunately, the manufacturer
387
00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:15,928
is kind of jamming us up right now,
388
00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:17,430
and we were hoping you
could take a look at it,
389
00:18:17,512 --> 00:18:19,140
tell us what it's made of, and you know,
390
00:18:19,222 --> 00:18:21,683
maybe where we can find some more of it.
391
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:25,730
Home Depot or Lowe's or some other...
392
00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:27,522
Listen, kid.
393
00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:31,359
I would love to help you
solve your work problem
394
00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:36,156
for no compensation, but...
395
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:40,076
- That's a biofuel?
- That's correct.
396
00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:46,875
What kind of machine did you say
397
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:49,211
you were running with this?
398
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:51,838
It's like a centrifuge.
399
00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:55,468
- What kind of centrifuge?
- Uh, it's a big one.
400
00:18:55,550 --> 00:18:58,220
All right, what's it made of?
401
00:18:58,304 --> 00:19:02,849
Looks like microorganisms
living in salt water.
402
00:19:02,932 --> 00:19:05,685
Okay, let me run this
through the calorimeter.
403
00:19:18,907 --> 00:19:21,451
Hachi machi.
404
00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:23,328
My equipment here is a bit rudimentary.
405
00:19:23,412 --> 00:19:25,205
So I'm going to take this in the back
406
00:19:25,288 --> 00:19:28,041
and run some more advanced
tests, wait here.
407
00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:31,711
No, we are not letting
that out of our sight.
408
00:19:31,796 --> 00:19:34,382
Because it's very, very important to us.
409
00:19:34,464 --> 00:19:35,548
It's the last bit of our fuel,
410
00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:37,718
so we'd love to come with you.
411
00:19:37,801 --> 00:19:40,387
Okay, it's a clean room back there
412
00:19:40,471 --> 00:19:42,847
and I only have two hazmat suits.
413
00:19:42,932 --> 00:19:46,727
So the tennis pro is going
to have to wait here.
414
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,773
- Stay hard.
- I am hard.
415
00:19:51,856 --> 00:19:53,483
Yeah.
416
00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:34,107
You know, the reason I got into biofuel
417
00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:37,153
is because I knew that climate change
418
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,697
would bring about the annihilation
419
00:20:39,779 --> 00:20:41,990
of the entire human species.
420
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,701
Climate change, he could
not be more wrong.
421
00:20:44,785 --> 00:20:46,787
You call yourself a Burner?
422
00:20:46,871 --> 00:20:49,457
People like you are the
reason that my department
423
00:20:49,539 --> 00:20:52,041
gets no funding, the
reason that my girlfriend
424
00:20:52,125 --> 00:20:56,130
left me because my
canola oil powered moped
425
00:20:56,212 --> 00:20:59,967
isn't sexy enough for her.
426
00:21:00,049 --> 00:21:01,594
Who cares if it's sexy?
427
00:21:01,676 --> 00:21:03,636
You are the reason I've had to do
428
00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:07,974
so many unsavory things,
which I'm not proud of,
429
00:21:08,057 --> 00:21:09,393
to keep my research going.
430
00:21:09,477 --> 00:21:11,519
Tiger, Tiger. He's a bad guy.
431
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:15,106
But this, this is the energy solution
432
00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:17,777
that I've been looking
for my entire life.
433
00:21:21,404 --> 00:21:24,616
This changes everything.
434
00:21:27,243 --> 00:21:31,207
Now...
435
00:21:31,289 --> 00:21:33,459
you are going to tell me
436
00:21:33,541 --> 00:21:35,795
everything you know about this.
437
00:21:35,877 --> 00:21:37,922
No more lies.
438
00:21:38,005 --> 00:21:39,714
Great work, janitor.
439
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:50,267
That fucker!
440
00:21:50,351 --> 00:21:53,103
Yeah, get it in! Oh!
441
00:21:53,186 --> 00:21:55,564
It's like macaroons for my nose!
442
00:21:55,647 --> 00:21:57,357
Oh, what's this stuff called again?
443
00:21:57,441 --> 00:21:59,734
That's meth, baby, that's meth!
444
00:21:59,818 --> 00:22:03,154
Meth, meth!
445
00:22:03,239 --> 00:22:05,740
Oh, I could nose-eat
10 pounds of this stuff!
446
00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:07,826
Whoa, whoa, whoa, take it easy, kid!
447
00:22:07,910 --> 00:22:09,309
You're going to blow up your heart!
448
00:22:09,369 --> 00:22:12,205
Oh, how do I get more,
how do I get more?
449
00:22:12,288 --> 00:22:14,415
Where's it come from, what is it?
450
00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:17,044
Tell me everything you know!
451
00:22:17,126 --> 00:22:19,212
Tell me everything you know.
452
00:22:19,296 --> 00:22:21,339
- We found it.
- Where?
453
00:22:21,423 --> 00:22:24,844
I don't know, you're a
smart guy, you tell us.
454
00:22:24,926 --> 00:22:26,886
At first I thought, "Looks familiar."
455
00:22:26,971 --> 00:22:30,140
Bioluminescent organisms
have been around forever,
456
00:22:30,223 --> 00:22:34,144
but then this shit broke my calorimeter.
457
00:22:34,228 --> 00:22:36,814
Do you have any idea how many
joules it takes to do that?
458
00:22:36,896 --> 00:22:39,316
- A ton?
- Try a fuck ton.
459
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:43,069
Something like this can only
evolve under immense pressure.
460
00:22:43,153 --> 00:22:46,406
I'm talking hadopelagic pressure.
461
00:22:46,490 --> 00:22:48,325
I don't know what that means.
462
00:22:48,409 --> 00:22:51,744
Of course you fucking don't, nimrod.
463
00:22:51,828 --> 00:22:54,832
This is the bottom of the ocean,
464
00:22:54,914 --> 00:22:57,667
and this is where this shit lives.
465
00:22:57,750 --> 00:23:00,086
Now, how the fuck did you two yahoos
466
00:23:00,170 --> 00:23:02,923
get your hands on it
unless somehow you found
467
00:23:03,007 --> 00:23:06,634
the keys to the most advanced
submersible ever built,
468
00:23:06,719 --> 00:23:08,638
which I doubt very highly,
because you don't even
469
00:23:08,679 --> 00:23:11,140
seem to know what a centrifuge is.
470
00:23:11,222 --> 00:23:13,808
It spins.
471
00:23:13,893 --> 00:23:15,603
Morris.
472
00:23:15,685 --> 00:23:18,355
- The kombucha, please.
- Kombucha?
473
00:23:18,439 --> 00:23:20,691
Now if you thought store-bought kombucha
474
00:23:20,773 --> 00:23:24,028
tasted like shit, wait until you get
475
00:23:24,111 --> 00:23:27,780
your taste buds on my
homebrew, Mr. Pastman.
476
00:23:27,865 --> 00:23:29,115
You're gonna love it.
477
00:23:31,242 --> 00:23:32,786
You're not, which is why I laugh.
478
00:23:32,869 --> 00:23:34,663
It tastes like shit,
I already said that.
479
00:23:34,747 --> 00:23:35,788
Let's go!
480
00:23:35,873 --> 00:23:37,790
And thus, in many ways, the drug trade
481
00:23:37,875 --> 00:23:41,170
represents capitalism
in its purest form.
482
00:23:41,252 --> 00:23:42,337
Make sense?
483
00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:45,883
Nothing has ever made
more sense in my life.
484
00:23:45,965 --> 00:23:49,010
- I got to go tell Tiger.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy.
485
00:23:49,094 --> 00:23:51,680
You're not going anywhere.
486
00:23:51,763 --> 00:23:53,432
I'm not?
487
00:24:20,209 --> 00:24:21,501
No more, please!
488
00:24:21,585 --> 00:24:24,587
I can't take it,
it's too... it's too tart!
489
00:24:24,672 --> 00:24:25,838
Please, Tiger, what the fuck?
490
00:24:25,923 --> 00:24:28,925
All right, okay, everybody
stop horse-dicking around.
491
00:24:29,009 --> 00:24:30,510
Where can we get more of this fuel?
492
00:24:30,594 --> 00:24:33,346
Are you on fucking peyote, Tiger?
493
00:24:33,430 --> 00:24:37,684
- There is no more of this fuel.
- Fuck.
494
00:24:37,768 --> 00:24:39,167
I mean, if there was any more of it
495
00:24:39,228 --> 00:24:41,063
we wouldn't be here, would we?
496
00:24:41,145 --> 00:24:43,606
So tell me where the fuck you got it.
497
00:24:43,691 --> 00:24:46,067
Morris, 'buch him.
498
00:24:46,151 --> 00:24:48,112
No, no, wait, wait, it
came from a time machine!
499
00:24:48,194 --> 00:24:49,697
It came from a time machine, okay?
500
00:24:49,779 --> 00:24:51,490
Oh good, thank you.
501
00:24:51,573 --> 00:24:54,535
Great, now we know it
came from a time machine.
502
00:24:54,617 --> 00:24:56,119
Fantastic, I've always wanted one.
503
00:24:56,202 --> 00:24:58,998
Can you get another time machine?
504
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:00,708
Because if you can't, you'll be drowning
505
00:25:00,790 --> 00:25:02,417
in lemon zinger momentarily.
506
00:25:02,500 --> 00:25:04,211
Morris, the zinger.
507
00:25:04,294 --> 00:25:06,963
Actually, we can get
another time machine.
508
00:25:07,047 --> 00:25:08,548
You've been a very helpful nerd.
509
00:25:08,632 --> 00:25:10,217
This was a great idea.
510
00:25:14,346 --> 00:25:15,431
Awesome.
511
00:25:21,185 --> 00:25:22,813
Hard enough for you?
512
00:25:24,959 --> 00:25:28,736
Oh, come on.
You call yourself an adversary?
513
00:25:28,818 --> 00:25:30,319
Let's do this!
514
00:25:37,452 --> 00:25:39,747
No!
515
00:25:44,792 --> 00:25:46,377
Get over...
516
00:25:46,461 --> 00:25:47,921
Yeah!
517
00:25:51,644 --> 00:25:53,269
Oh no, you don't!
518
00:25:58,513 --> 00:26:01,268
So long, suckers!
519
00:26:10,903 --> 00:26:12,779
Get off... Get...
520
00:26:12,863 --> 00:26:14,823
Fucker's got some fight
in him after all.
521
00:26:19,243 --> 00:26:20,683
- Should I jump in?
- No, no, no, no.
522
00:26:20,746 --> 00:26:22,955
I think he's got this.
523
00:26:23,039 --> 00:26:25,209
Yeah, rip his fucking throat out!
524
00:26:28,377 --> 00:26:30,463
Or at least try to rip
his fucking throat out.
525
00:26:33,299 --> 00:26:35,219
Let go, let go!
526
00:26:37,221 --> 00:26:39,765
Ow.
527
00:26:39,847 --> 00:26:41,767
- Okay.
- Ah!
528
00:26:43,602 --> 00:26:46,313
- Yeah!
- Yeah.
529
00:26:46,395 --> 00:26:47,855
All right.
530
00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:50,317
Where...
531
00:26:51,902 --> 00:26:54,320
Ah, I got it!
532
00:26:54,403 --> 00:26:57,156
Kicked his ass, woo!
533
00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:59,992
Yeah, it was the um, the saddest,
most boring fight
534
00:27:00,076 --> 00:27:02,246
I've ever seen, but you
did do it, Futterman.
535
00:27:02,328 --> 00:27:04,205
You're back on the team.
536
00:27:04,288 --> 00:27:05,707
I'm back on the team?
537
00:27:05,790 --> 00:27:08,501
Oh my god, thank you,
I will not let you down.
538
00:27:08,585 --> 00:27:10,336
I will... I'll do whatever you need.
539
00:27:10,420 --> 00:27:11,712
That is great news,
because we might need
540
00:27:11,797 --> 00:27:13,382
a human target for the next mission.
541
00:27:13,464 --> 00:27:15,800
- You'd be perfect.
- What?
542
00:27:15,884 --> 00:27:17,260
You heard what the
window-faced man said.
543
00:27:17,344 --> 00:27:19,887
We need another time machine.
544
00:27:19,971 --> 00:27:22,057
Biotics, Biotics have time machines.
545
00:27:22,140 --> 00:27:23,851
Yes, and we already know that
they're in the laboratory
546
00:27:23,933 --> 00:27:27,229
that you clean, so we
just have to catch one.
547
00:27:27,311 --> 00:27:29,690
- Okay.
- Great fucking plan!
548
00:27:29,772 --> 00:27:32,526
Who's up for a charge down?
549
00:27:32,608 --> 00:27:35,737
I'll take either, or both.
550
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:57,550
Hey, good news, old man.
551
00:27:57,634 --> 00:27:59,760
Sketch just came back of the perps.
552
00:27:59,845 --> 00:28:02,513
Let me see that.
553
00:28:06,058 --> 00:28:07,560
What do you think, Skarsgaard?
554
00:28:07,644 --> 00:28:09,645
Does that look like the
chick that punched you?
555
00:28:11,856 --> 00:28:15,943
You know what this sketch is missing?
556
00:28:16,028 --> 00:28:20,615
The corpse of my partner,
Jorge Santiago.
557
00:28:20,699 --> 00:28:23,701
His widow behind him weeping,
558
00:28:23,785 --> 00:28:28,289
belly swollen with child.
559
00:28:28,373 --> 00:28:31,417
Wow, really took the fun out of that.
560
00:28:31,500 --> 00:28:34,630
Come on, we've got Pastman,
we combed this place.
561
00:28:34,712 --> 00:28:37,633
Well, you better get a new comb.
562
00:28:37,715 --> 00:28:40,176
Shit, is that a purple hair?
563
00:28:40,259 --> 00:28:43,430
- Lucky break.
- Hey, you spend 48 years
564
00:28:43,512 --> 00:28:45,557
chasing every shadow and whisper,
565
00:28:45,641 --> 00:28:49,310
then talk to me about luck, punk.
566
00:28:49,394 --> 00:28:50,604
I'm going to run this through
567
00:28:50,686 --> 00:28:55,232
every DNA database in the world.
568
00:28:55,317 --> 00:28:56,859
Going to run every name
569
00:28:56,943 --> 00:29:00,071
that dealer gave us.
570
00:29:00,154 --> 00:29:03,700
Yeah, I'm coming for you.
571
00:29:05,868 --> 00:29:07,876
You and me.
572
00:29:07,970 --> 00:29:10,039
I'm coming for you.
573
00:29:10,064 --> 00:29:12,433
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
42298
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