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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:30,290 --> 00:00:35,290 Subtitles by explosiveskull 2 00:00:35,292 --> 00:00:38,395 (SOFT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 3 00:01:00,182 --> 00:01:03,587 (CHILDREN SQUEALING EXCITEDLY) 4 00:01:16,199 --> 00:01:18,233 Brad. 5 00:01:18,235 --> 00:01:19,534 - Bye, Daddy. - Bye, sweetie. 6 00:01:19,536 --> 00:01:21,769 Bye-bye, guys. I'll pick you up on Monday. 7 00:01:21,771 --> 00:01:23,037 - CHILDREN: Brad. - What's up? 8 00:01:23,039 --> 00:01:24,406 Hey, Brad. 9 00:01:24,408 --> 00:01:26,511 Hey, Brad. Looking good, buddy. 10 00:01:29,479 --> 00:01:32,281 - Dylan, where's your retainer? - I left it at Dad's. 11 00:01:32,283 --> 00:01:33,781 Hey, where's your math workbook? 12 00:01:33,783 --> 00:01:35,817 At Mom's house. 13 00:01:35,819 --> 00:01:38,085 - Where are all your undies? - DYLAN: I don't know. 14 00:01:38,087 --> 00:01:39,921 How do we got so many undies? 15 00:01:39,923 --> 00:01:41,489 (ALL CHEERING) 16 00:01:41,491 --> 00:01:42,859 DUSTY: Happy birthday, buddy! 17 00:01:44,395 --> 00:01:46,027 Brad already got me one. 18 00:01:46,029 --> 00:01:48,965 - (CHILDREN CHEERING) - It was my idea! It was my idea! 19 00:01:50,234 --> 00:01:51,900 Hey, look at that. 20 00:01:51,902 --> 00:01:53,167 Guys. 21 00:01:53,169 --> 00:01:54,404 Daddy. 22 00:01:57,875 --> 00:01:58,876 Oh! 23 00:02:00,978 --> 00:02:02,080 Megan, hold up! 24 00:02:03,914 --> 00:02:04,916 Whoa! 25 00:02:06,550 --> 00:02:07,516 Ah! 26 00:02:07,518 --> 00:02:08,853 - Are you all right? - I'm okay. 27 00:02:09,487 --> 00:02:10,687 - (GROANS) - (ALL EXCLAIM) 28 00:02:13,490 --> 00:02:15,827 Right here! Don't leave without it. 29 00:02:16,460 --> 00:02:18,363 (SCHOOL BELL RINGING) 30 00:02:19,729 --> 00:02:22,632 Come on! Keep it moving! 31 00:02:23,167 --> 00:02:24,833 Inside the cones! 32 00:02:24,835 --> 00:02:27,872 Inside the cones like an ice cream. Let's go! 33 00:02:28,371 --> 00:02:29,505 Braddie! 34 00:02:29,507 --> 00:02:31,207 Here you go, buddy. 35 00:02:31,209 --> 00:02:32,874 Oh. Thanks, Braddie. 36 00:02:32,876 --> 00:02:33,942 - Hot cocoa? - Yeah. 37 00:02:33,944 --> 00:02:35,709 Nice. Little marshmallows floating around there 38 00:02:35,711 --> 00:02:37,879 all in formation. You are the greatest. 39 00:02:37,881 --> 00:02:39,714 I put a little licorice root in there, too. 40 00:02:39,716 --> 00:02:40,982 - Oh! - Tell me what you think. 41 00:02:40,984 --> 00:02:42,284 - DUSTY: Hey, guys. - Daddy! 42 00:02:42,286 --> 00:02:45,821 - Hey. Hi, how was your day? - Good. 43 00:02:45,823 --> 00:02:47,221 BRAD: All right, guys, hop in. 44 00:02:47,223 --> 00:02:49,090 I'll get them ready and I'll meet you at Tae Kwon Do. 45 00:02:49,092 --> 00:02:51,225 - See you in 30. - Great. Looking forward to it. 46 00:02:51,227 --> 00:02:52,694 - Bye. - CHILDREN: Bye, Dad. 47 00:02:52,696 --> 00:02:54,563 - BRAD: Oh! - (BRAKES SCREECH) 48 00:02:54,565 --> 00:02:55,897 - Dusty. - Yeah? 49 00:02:55,899 --> 00:02:57,798 Sorry. You made treats for tonight, right? 50 00:02:57,800 --> 00:02:59,768 No, I got the gift card. I thought you were on treats tonight. 51 00:02:59,770 --> 00:03:03,471 No. I did gift card and the treats for the Halloween Spooktacular. 52 00:03:03,473 --> 00:03:05,006 Okay. Well, I guess I'll hit the bakery 53 00:03:05,008 --> 00:03:06,475 - on the way to the pageant. - Bakery? 54 00:03:06,477 --> 00:03:07,775 Unless you don't want me to go to the bakery. 55 00:03:07,777 --> 00:03:08,876 - No... - Usually, when you repeat what I said 56 00:03:08,878 --> 00:03:10,112 and you shake your head up and down, 57 00:03:10,114 --> 00:03:11,412 it really means you don't want me to do it. 58 00:03:11,414 --> 00:03:12,814 - I'm just thinking... - DUSTY: What? 59 00:03:12,816 --> 00:03:14,183 - Maybe homemade? - (HORN HONKING) 60 00:03:14,185 --> 00:03:16,819 Yeah. Hey! Honk at him again, you better count your teeth! 61 00:03:16,821 --> 00:03:18,686 No problem, Braddie. Homemade snickerdoodles 62 00:03:18,688 --> 00:03:20,088 coming right up. One for you, too. 63 00:03:20,090 --> 00:03:22,756 Should we fist bump again or would it be awkward? 64 00:03:22,758 --> 00:03:25,360 I don't mind a second bump. All right. 65 00:03:25,362 --> 00:03:26,628 Thanks, buddy. See you tonight. 66 00:03:26,630 --> 00:03:28,063 Bye, mate. Thanks so much for the cocoa. 67 00:03:28,065 --> 00:03:29,230 CHILDREN: Bye, Daddy. 68 00:03:29,232 --> 00:03:31,636 - (CRASHES) - Sorry. 69 00:03:33,971 --> 00:03:35,337 - Bye. - Bye. 70 00:03:35,339 --> 00:03:37,041 BRAD: These look great. Thank you. 71 00:03:37,708 --> 00:03:38,840 - Look at that. - Oh... 72 00:03:38,842 --> 00:03:41,809 - Daddy! Karen! - Hey! Hey, guys. 73 00:03:41,811 --> 00:03:45,047 Wow, look how sexy Karen looks. 74 00:03:45,049 --> 00:03:46,614 Leather pants and side boob. 75 00:03:46,616 --> 00:03:48,215 That's perfect for a school function. 76 00:03:48,217 --> 00:03:51,019 - Honey, let's expect good things, okay? - I know, you're right. Right. 77 00:03:51,021 --> 00:03:53,988 - SARA: Hey. How's it going? - Hey. 78 00:03:53,990 --> 00:03:54,991 - BRAD: Hi. - SARA: Hi. 79 00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:57,358 Wow, look at you guys. 80 00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:59,393 You and Mommy are so sassy all the time. 81 00:03:59,395 --> 00:04:00,561 - KAREN: Hi. - SARA: Hi. 82 00:04:00,563 --> 00:04:02,598 Oh, hey. I got your novel. 83 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:04,934 - It's amazing. - Oh, I'm glad you like it. 84 00:04:04,936 --> 00:04:07,570 SARA: I don't know how you write such powerful dialogue. 85 00:04:07,572 --> 00:04:09,436 - I mean, it must just come naturally, right? - Aw. 86 00:04:09,438 --> 00:04:11,307 - Like everything else. - You're so sweet. 87 00:04:11,309 --> 00:04:12,577 - Are you guys ready? - Let's go. 88 00:04:13,644 --> 00:04:15,209 I want my shirt like Adrianna's. 89 00:04:15,211 --> 00:04:17,778 Uh, no. No, no, no, honey. We're not doing that, okay? 90 00:04:17,780 --> 00:04:20,081 Put that back in. Look like a nice kid. 91 00:04:20,083 --> 00:04:22,617 (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 92 00:04:22,619 --> 00:04:25,352 PRINCIPAL HAYES: Welcome to the One Horse Open Sing! 93 00:04:25,354 --> 00:04:27,323 Before we get started, notice we have 94 00:04:27,325 --> 00:04:30,958 several professional video and still photographers 95 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:33,427 to cover all your kids for free. 96 00:04:33,429 --> 00:04:35,631 So you can all put your phones in your pockets, 97 00:04:35,633 --> 00:04:38,465 relax, and just be in the moment. 98 00:04:38,467 --> 00:04:40,068 (DEVICES BEEPING) 99 00:04:40,070 --> 00:04:41,768 You don't care. 100 00:04:41,770 --> 00:04:43,538 ♪ Dashing through the snow 101 00:04:43,540 --> 00:04:45,374 ♪ In a one-horse open sleigh 102 00:04:45,376 --> 00:04:49,278 ♪ O'er the fields we go Laughing all the way, hahaha 103 00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:52,948 ♪ Bells on bobtail ring Making spirits bright 104 00:04:52,950 --> 00:04:54,848 ♪ What fun it is to laugh and sing 105 00:04:54,850 --> 00:04:56,620 ♪ A sleighing song tonight ♪ 106 00:04:57,621 --> 00:04:59,687 ...eat candy Santas and smashed potatoes 107 00:04:59,689 --> 00:05:01,855 and dressing up my dog like a reindeer. 108 00:05:01,857 --> 00:05:03,792 That's what Christmas means to me. 109 00:05:03,794 --> 00:05:05,994 - Thank you. - (ALL CHEERING) 110 00:05:05,996 --> 00:05:08,032 PRINCIPAL HAYES: And now we have Megan Mayron. 111 00:05:09,064 --> 00:05:10,398 (BEEPING) 112 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:13,636 My name is Megan Mayron, and I like Christmas presents a lot. 113 00:05:13,638 --> 00:05:15,670 (ALL LAUGHING) 114 00:05:15,672 --> 00:05:18,374 But I don't really like Christmas. 115 00:05:18,376 --> 00:05:20,576 My daddy was at my first Christmases, 116 00:05:20,578 --> 00:05:23,011 but I don't remember those ones. 117 00:05:23,013 --> 00:05:25,549 Then we had some with no daddy at all. 118 00:05:26,215 --> 00:05:27,115 Then Brad came, 119 00:05:27,117 --> 00:05:29,884 but he was always trying way too hard 120 00:05:29,886 --> 00:05:32,621 and making everyone feel uncomfortable. 121 00:05:32,623 --> 00:05:33,787 Then Daddy came back, 122 00:05:33,789 --> 00:05:35,189 and Brad did a pretend Christmas 123 00:05:35,191 --> 00:05:37,658 to show Daddy that Brad was better than him. 124 00:05:37,660 --> 00:05:41,629 So now we have to go to different houses to have different Christmases. 125 00:05:41,631 --> 00:05:43,364 Me and my brother wish we were like other families 126 00:05:43,366 --> 00:05:44,900 and we had normal Christmases. 127 00:05:44,902 --> 00:05:46,869 But we still like our Christmas presents. 128 00:05:46,871 --> 00:05:49,271 I want to be very clear about that. 129 00:05:49,273 --> 00:05:50,472 Thank you very much. 130 00:05:50,474 --> 00:05:51,676 (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) 131 00:05:52,710 --> 00:05:54,376 (JERRY LAUGHING) 132 00:05:54,378 --> 00:05:56,677 Enjoy paying for therapy, boys! 133 00:05:56,679 --> 00:05:58,278 You better shut your mouth, Jerry! 134 00:05:58,280 --> 00:05:59,513 Absolutely, Dusty. 135 00:05:59,515 --> 00:06:01,316 (SIGHING) 136 00:06:01,318 --> 00:06:04,218 We're messing up our kids, Brad, and it's on you. 137 00:06:04,220 --> 00:06:05,453 On me? Why is it on me? 138 00:06:05,455 --> 00:06:08,323 Because before you came around we only had one Christmas. 139 00:06:08,325 --> 00:06:09,792 So it's on you. 140 00:06:09,794 --> 00:06:11,759 Hold on, hold on. We don't have to circle the wagons 141 00:06:11,761 --> 00:06:14,328 every time one of the kids expresses a negative emotion. 142 00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:15,431 They're fine. 143 00:06:15,433 --> 00:06:16,799 Kids that get up in front of whole schools 144 00:06:16,801 --> 00:06:18,766 and say they don't like Christmas aren't fine, Sara. 145 00:06:18,768 --> 00:06:21,203 Well, she said she didn't like having two Christmases. 146 00:06:21,205 --> 00:06:22,237 Which is on you. 147 00:06:22,239 --> 00:06:25,439 So what if we all spend a Christmas together? 148 00:06:25,441 --> 00:06:27,508 A Together Christmas. That's good. 149 00:06:27,510 --> 00:06:29,011 Now you fixed it. See, that... 150 00:06:29,013 --> 00:06:30,545 - Now it's off of you. - (BRAD GASPS) 151 00:06:30,547 --> 00:06:32,179 Let's invite Adrianna's dad, too. 152 00:06:32,181 --> 00:06:33,213 - What? - Yes. 153 00:06:33,215 --> 00:06:34,415 - Are you being serious right now? No. - Yeah. 154 00:06:34,417 --> 00:06:36,350 Put that hand down. 155 00:06:36,352 --> 00:06:38,720 I've been nothing but nice to that guy, and he treats me like I abducted his kid. 156 00:06:38,722 --> 00:06:39,955 I'm not doing that. 157 00:06:39,957 --> 00:06:41,556 Why are you messing up the mood now, all right? 158 00:06:41,558 --> 00:06:43,924 We wanna go tell the kids my great idea about the Together Christmas. 159 00:06:43,926 --> 00:06:45,292 Wait, how did it become your idea? 160 00:06:45,294 --> 00:06:48,295 It was your idea, but I named it Together Christmas. 161 00:06:48,297 --> 00:06:50,634 People of Bikini Bottom... 162 00:06:51,100 --> 00:06:53,100 Hey, guys? 163 00:06:53,102 --> 00:06:55,739 Guys. Listen up, I got a surprise. 164 00:06:56,239 --> 00:06:57,374 Hello? 165 00:07:00,576 --> 00:07:02,910 - Guys. We got a big surprise! - A surprise? 166 00:07:02,912 --> 00:07:04,578 - Another pony? - A trampoline? 167 00:07:04,580 --> 00:07:05,681 You leaving? 168 00:07:05,683 --> 00:07:06,881 Not quite, okay? 169 00:07:06,883 --> 00:07:08,182 But, no, we got something better than that, okay? 170 00:07:08,184 --> 00:07:09,785 So much better. It's gonna be great. 171 00:07:09,787 --> 00:07:11,451 Guys, this year, no more back and forth at Christmas. 172 00:07:11,453 --> 00:07:13,086 - We're not doing the back and forth. - Nope. I just said that. 173 00:07:13,088 --> 00:07:14,756 - No more back and forth at Christmas. - No back and forth. 174 00:07:14,758 --> 00:07:17,859 This year, we're gonna spend one Christmas all together, all of us! 175 00:07:17,861 --> 00:07:19,294 - BOTH: Yay! - All of us. A Together Christmas! 176 00:07:19,296 --> 00:07:21,228 - A Together Christmas! - Can you be quiet? 177 00:07:21,230 --> 00:07:22,963 A Together Christmas like a normal family! 178 00:07:22,965 --> 00:07:24,232 - Yay! - (CELL PHONE RINGING) 179 00:07:24,234 --> 00:07:25,235 I'll get it. 180 00:07:26,169 --> 00:07:27,669 Hello? 181 00:07:27,671 --> 00:07:29,206 Grandpa Kurt? 182 00:07:31,207 --> 00:07:33,008 Daddy, Grandpa Kurt wants to talk to you. 183 00:07:33,010 --> 00:07:34,775 SARA: No, no, no. Dusty, I'll just tell him... 184 00:07:34,777 --> 00:07:37,244 No. It's okay, Sara. 185 00:07:37,246 --> 00:07:38,749 Thank you. 186 00:07:39,549 --> 00:07:40,785 Thanks, buddy. 187 00:07:43,753 --> 00:07:45,222 What, Dad? 188 00:07:46,289 --> 00:07:47,855 Yeah, long time. 189 00:07:47,857 --> 00:07:49,725 No, I'm fine. Tomorrow? 190 00:07:49,727 --> 00:07:51,092 - Tomorrow. - No. 191 00:07:51,094 --> 00:07:53,427 I could probably pick you up, I guess, but... 192 00:07:53,429 --> 00:07:56,463 - Hey! Psst! Guess what? My folks are coming tomorrow. - I don't care. 193 00:07:56,465 --> 00:07:58,833 - We can go together. - You shut up. 194 00:07:58,835 --> 00:08:02,306 Dad, do you want to just text... Hello? 195 00:08:03,039 --> 00:08:04,041 (SIGHS) 196 00:08:07,744 --> 00:08:09,276 Dusty, listen to me, 197 00:08:09,278 --> 00:08:11,879 I think you're approaching this with way too much negative energy. 198 00:08:11,881 --> 00:08:15,383 Brad, you don't know what you're talking about, so shut your fat hole! 199 00:08:15,385 --> 00:08:17,117 - Dusty. - (SIGHS) 200 00:08:17,119 --> 00:08:19,687 I'm sorry, Braddie. I'm sorry. 201 00:08:19,689 --> 00:08:21,323 You see what he does to me? 202 00:08:21,325 --> 00:08:23,158 I mean, he's not even here yet, and he's already ruining Christmas. 203 00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:25,761 - Okay, okay, relax. Relax. - I can't! 204 00:08:25,763 --> 00:08:28,997 Look, your father hasn't met the new evolved Dusty. 205 00:08:28,999 --> 00:08:31,732 You're a progressive, sensitive, child-first parent. 206 00:08:31,734 --> 00:08:34,368 That's exactly the stuff he's gonna make fun of us for. You'll see. 207 00:08:34,370 --> 00:08:37,137 He's gonna scoff at everything we do. He's a scoffer, Brad. 208 00:08:37,139 --> 00:08:39,040 Pepe, you have a grown son, right? 209 00:08:39,042 --> 00:08:40,342 Si. 210 00:08:40,344 --> 00:08:42,809 Why don't you tell Dusty here how much your son means to you 211 00:08:42,811 --> 00:08:44,846 in this season of good cheer? 212 00:08:44,848 --> 00:08:49,217 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 213 00:08:49,219 --> 00:08:50,819 - You see? - He didn't say nice things 214 00:08:50,821 --> 00:08:52,019 like you think he did, Brad. 215 00:08:52,021 --> 00:08:53,320 Dusty, you're being silly. 216 00:08:53,322 --> 00:08:55,490 I mean, who wouldn't be impressed with you? 217 00:08:55,492 --> 00:08:57,391 Come on. (GASPS) 218 00:08:57,393 --> 00:08:58,394 Dear God! 219 00:08:58,928 --> 00:09:01,264 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 220 00:09:02,666 --> 00:09:05,869 He looks as if he's been chiseled from Gibraltar itself. 221 00:09:10,473 --> 00:09:13,410 This is gonna come off weird, Dusty, but he's beautiful. 222 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:18,816 I want to be his friend so bad. 223 00:09:27,056 --> 00:09:28,993 - Dusty. (CHUCKLES) - Hey, Pop. 224 00:09:29,725 --> 00:09:31,324 - How was your flight? - Not bad. 225 00:09:31,326 --> 00:09:33,462 Took 20 minutes to get to the gate though. 226 00:09:33,464 --> 00:09:35,664 What's with that bottleneck you got out there? 227 00:09:35,666 --> 00:09:40,101 I'm sorry our local airport tarmac's not up to your standards, huh? 228 00:09:40,103 --> 00:09:42,971 I'm sorry. I didn't realize you designed this airport, 229 00:09:42,973 --> 00:09:44,405 or I'd have been more sensitive. 230 00:09:44,407 --> 00:09:46,540 Oh, I guess I'll move to a new town with a better airport 231 00:09:46,542 --> 00:09:49,944 that way you won't be inconvenienced when you show up every five years or so. 232 00:09:49,946 --> 00:09:52,247 (CHUCKLES) Same old Mr. Touchy. I love it. 233 00:09:52,249 --> 00:09:53,714 Here you go, Pancho. 234 00:09:53,716 --> 00:09:55,383 Why don't you bring the car around, we'll meet you at the curb. 235 00:09:55,385 --> 00:09:56,416 Right away, sir. 236 00:09:56,418 --> 00:09:59,655 I mean, no, I'm sorry, I'm not the driver. 237 00:09:59,657 --> 00:10:00,856 No, I'm Brad. 238 00:10:00,858 --> 00:10:02,156 The stepdad. 239 00:10:02,158 --> 00:10:04,192 - This is Sara's husband. - Why is he with you? 240 00:10:04,194 --> 00:10:06,627 (GASPS) Dad! 241 00:10:06,629 --> 00:10:08,231 (DISCO MUSIC PLAYING) 242 00:10:09,832 --> 00:10:13,002 That sweater. He wears a red sweater, so I can see him in a crowd. 243 00:10:16,340 --> 00:10:17,472 Dad! 244 00:10:17,474 --> 00:10:19,210 That's him, that's Dad. 245 00:10:23,814 --> 00:10:25,146 (GRUNTS) 246 00:10:25,148 --> 00:10:26,984 Dad. Dad. 247 00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:31,120 (LAUGHING) 248 00:10:36,726 --> 00:10:39,128 - I made a sign. - There's my big man. 249 00:10:41,431 --> 00:10:42,963 (BOTH LAUGHING) 250 00:10:42,965 --> 00:10:44,998 And this guy's raising your kids half the time? 251 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,334 He hasn't seen his dad in a really long time. 252 00:10:47,336 --> 00:10:50,471 It's only been since Thanksgiving, but it feels like forever. 253 00:10:50,473 --> 00:10:53,006 - It does! - BOTH: Oh! 254 00:10:53,008 --> 00:10:55,410 Four weeks? It's been a few years for us. 255 00:10:55,412 --> 00:10:58,179 What should we do? You want me to take my pants off? 256 00:10:58,181 --> 00:10:59,548 BRAD: Hey, where's Mom? 257 00:10:59,550 --> 00:11:01,083 You didn't get her text? 258 00:11:01,085 --> 00:11:04,019 Uncle Arny came down with a bad case of the shingles. 259 00:11:04,021 --> 00:11:06,253 - No. - So Mom's staying back 260 00:11:06,255 --> 00:11:07,789 - to take care of him. - Okay. 261 00:11:07,791 --> 00:11:09,823 But, hey, you still got me. 262 00:11:09,825 --> 00:11:11,859 I sure do. I sure do! 263 00:11:11,861 --> 00:11:13,062 BOTH: Oh! 264 00:11:14,297 --> 00:11:15,965 BRAD: We're gonna have the best time. 265 00:11:16,432 --> 00:11:18,065 (GASPS) Oh! Dusty! 266 00:11:18,067 --> 00:11:20,300 - Hey, Don. - Hey, Muscles, come here. 267 00:11:20,302 --> 00:11:23,139 (STAMMERS) I've got a cold. Stay away. Don, Don! 268 00:11:24,007 --> 00:11:25,439 Say, Dusty, 269 00:11:25,441 --> 00:11:28,242 Brad told me about this Together Christmas we're doing. 270 00:11:28,244 --> 00:11:32,447 You two are such wonderful, progressive co-dads. 271 00:11:32,449 --> 00:11:33,647 Co-dads? 272 00:11:33,649 --> 00:11:36,184 I'm so sorry. Mr. Mayron, this is my father, Don Whitaker. 273 00:11:36,186 --> 00:11:39,152 The pleasure is all mine, Captain! 274 00:11:39,154 --> 00:11:42,524 You piloted the Space Shuttle Atlantis in 1992 275 00:11:42,526 --> 00:11:45,794 and commanded the Endeavour on three missions in 1994! 276 00:11:45,796 --> 00:11:47,464 All right, come on, we're out this way. 277 00:11:48,364 --> 00:11:49,631 Thanks, Dusty. 278 00:11:49,633 --> 00:11:53,101 Say, Kurt, did you meet any interesting folks on your flight? 279 00:11:53,103 --> 00:11:55,902 - I met a Scotch and a pillow. - (LAUGHS) 280 00:11:55,904 --> 00:11:58,106 You know, actually, I always pick the flights 281 00:11:58,108 --> 00:12:00,342 that have the most connections so that 282 00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:04,445 I get to chat with as many new people as possible. 283 00:12:04,447 --> 00:12:06,516 - Oh, so you're a lunatic. Good to know. - That's me! 284 00:12:07,783 --> 00:12:09,953 (CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING) 285 00:12:16,192 --> 00:12:20,029 (GRUNTS) Looks like one of your neighbors is getting an oversized parcel. 286 00:12:20,564 --> 00:12:22,197 Hello! 287 00:12:22,199 --> 00:12:24,498 Don Whitaker, United States Postal Service! 288 00:12:24,500 --> 00:12:28,535 Retired, but never too old to lend a hand to a fellow carrier. 289 00:12:28,537 --> 00:12:31,838 Brad, I gotta tell you, this baby sure gives you a smooth ride. 290 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:32,907 Oh, thank you, Kurt. 291 00:12:32,909 --> 00:12:35,142 Yeah, it is surprisingly responsive. 292 00:12:35,144 --> 00:12:36,544 Brad, he's not... 293 00:12:36,546 --> 00:12:38,045 So do they take your balls right there at the dealership, 294 00:12:38,047 --> 00:12:39,580 or do you send them in with the registration? 295 00:12:39,582 --> 00:12:40,814 How does it work exactly? 296 00:12:40,816 --> 00:12:43,184 No, no, they didn't take my balls. Just $2,000 down. 297 00:12:43,186 --> 00:12:44,685 This your place, Dusty? 298 00:12:44,687 --> 00:12:47,188 - I pictured it nicer. - BRAD: Yeah, Dusty's house is nicer. 299 00:12:47,190 --> 00:12:48,522 This is my house. 300 00:12:48,524 --> 00:12:50,491 Just thought you'd like to step in and see the kids. 301 00:12:50,493 --> 00:12:53,127 Only if it's okay. Look, we don't want to infringe on your days. 302 00:12:53,129 --> 00:12:55,296 (SCOFFS) Of course, don't be silly. Come on, guys. 303 00:12:55,298 --> 00:12:58,867 You got to ask another man's permission to see your own kids? 304 00:12:58,869 --> 00:13:00,537 (SCOFFS) Unbelievable. 305 00:13:01,336 --> 00:13:04,639 We're back! With more daddies! 306 00:13:04,641 --> 00:13:07,574 Hey! Look how big you two got! 307 00:13:07,576 --> 00:13:09,910 Come on. Don't I get a hug? Come on! 308 00:13:09,912 --> 00:13:11,245 (KURT CHUCKLES) 309 00:13:11,247 --> 00:13:12,914 And who's this barroom brawler? 310 00:13:12,916 --> 00:13:14,314 MEGAN: He's our brother, Griffy, silly. 311 00:13:14,316 --> 00:13:17,318 Hey, come here, pardner. Dusty, you never told me. 312 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:20,121 - Why, he looks just like you. - Yeah, not my kid. 313 00:13:20,123 --> 00:13:21,957 Oh, no, no, no. I fathered that one. 314 00:13:21,959 --> 00:13:23,692 Oh. Ah, then how does he relate to me then? 315 00:13:23,694 --> 00:13:27,060 Well, he is the brother of your grandkids, Kurt. 316 00:13:27,062 --> 00:13:28,728 - Oh. Here, here. - Oh. Okay. 317 00:13:28,730 --> 00:13:30,665 Hey, looking good, Buttercup. 318 00:13:30,667 --> 00:13:32,136 Good to see you. 319 00:13:33,003 --> 00:13:35,468 - Look who's here! - BOTH: Pop-Pop! 320 00:13:35,470 --> 00:13:36,404 (LAUGHS) 321 00:13:36,406 --> 00:13:38,106 - Tell us a Pop-Pop joke! - DON: Ooh, ooh. 322 00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:40,407 What's a good one? Why does a duck have feathers? 323 00:13:40,409 --> 00:13:41,442 Why? 324 00:13:41,444 --> 00:13:44,648 - To cover up his butt quack. - (ALL LAUGHING) 325 00:13:45,581 --> 00:13:47,482 Hey, kids, I got a good one for you. 326 00:13:47,484 --> 00:13:49,885 - Two dead hookers wash up on the shore... - Hey, hey! 327 00:13:49,887 --> 00:13:51,852 - Whoa, whoa, shut up. - No way. No way. 328 00:13:51,854 --> 00:13:54,792 - Sara. How's my girl? - Hi! 329 00:13:55,892 --> 00:13:57,290 What, Ginny couldn't make it? 330 00:13:57,292 --> 00:13:58,525 Oh, she feels terrible. 331 00:13:58,527 --> 00:14:01,328 But she sent a batch of her special cookies! 332 00:14:01,330 --> 00:14:03,664 - Is there milk in that kitchen? - MEGAN: Yay! 333 00:14:03,666 --> 00:14:05,599 DON: I want the first one. 334 00:14:05,601 --> 00:14:07,602 I get the first one! 335 00:14:07,604 --> 00:14:11,205 So he gets to be Pop-Pop and I'm just Grandpa Kurt? 336 00:14:11,207 --> 00:14:13,174 What? I'm in charge of the cutesy grandpa names now? 337 00:14:13,176 --> 00:14:15,742 Look, if you want a better name, maybe try showing up a little more often. 338 00:14:15,744 --> 00:14:19,082 Tell the kids, from now on, it's El Padre. 339 00:14:20,984 --> 00:14:22,386 No more hooker jokes. 340 00:14:24,287 --> 00:14:27,588 These don't taste like La-La's cookies. They taste like Chips Ahoys. 341 00:14:27,590 --> 00:14:30,123 DON: No, no. I sat right there in the kitchen 342 00:14:30,125 --> 00:14:32,327 and watched Grandma bake them just yesterday. 343 00:14:32,329 --> 00:14:33,560 DYLAN: I like them. 344 00:14:33,562 --> 00:14:36,997 So, this co-dads thing, is that what you call it? 345 00:14:36,999 --> 00:14:38,766 Yeah, that's what we call it. 346 00:14:38,768 --> 00:14:41,102 So, on his watch, he disciplines your kids, 347 00:14:41,104 --> 00:14:43,003 gives them advice, tucks them in, so forth 348 00:14:43,005 --> 00:14:44,439 and that bothers you not a bit? 349 00:14:44,441 --> 00:14:45,539 Doesn't bother me at all. 350 00:14:45,541 --> 00:14:47,474 And his total lack of masculinity... 351 00:14:47,476 --> 00:14:51,411 I mean, his weak chin and soft underbelly influencing your son, 352 00:14:51,413 --> 00:14:53,113 you're good there, too? Yeah? 353 00:14:53,115 --> 00:14:55,883 You know what? I'm just feeling like maybe you guys want a little privacy. 354 00:14:55,885 --> 00:14:57,484 Stay right there, Brad, all right? 355 00:14:57,486 --> 00:14:59,087 He's just trying to stir the turd. 356 00:14:59,089 --> 00:15:00,788 - (SCOFFS) - You can scoff all you want. 357 00:15:00,790 --> 00:15:02,623 Everything is rock solid between me and Brad here. 358 00:15:02,625 --> 00:15:06,660 - In fact, best friends. - Really? (SNIFFLES) 359 00:15:06,662 --> 00:15:09,329 - Thank you. - Brad. Stop it. Now. 360 00:15:09,331 --> 00:15:11,332 - I'm good. - He gets really emotional. 361 00:15:11,334 --> 00:15:14,367 - Brad. Hey. Brother. - Did you call me "brother"? 362 00:15:14,369 --> 00:15:16,371 B-Dawg. Chill out, man. Relax. 363 00:15:16,373 --> 00:15:17,641 All right? Cut it out. 364 00:15:18,340 --> 00:15:19,674 - Brad, don't. - I know. 365 00:15:19,676 --> 00:15:22,309 Stop. All right, look. Hey. Brad, stop! 366 00:15:22,311 --> 00:15:25,447 Looks like you two guys have a real solid arrangement. 367 00:15:25,449 --> 00:15:27,582 You're spending Christmas together and everything. 368 00:15:27,584 --> 00:15:29,883 Speaking of which, whose place are we doing that at? 369 00:15:29,885 --> 00:15:31,919 We're totally happy to host if it makes it easier. 370 00:15:31,921 --> 00:15:33,721 Yeah, we could do it at my place. I got more room. 371 00:15:33,723 --> 00:15:35,823 We can do presents at our place, dinner at yours. 372 00:15:35,825 --> 00:15:37,958 Nah, all that back and forth, who needs that? 373 00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:39,294 This place, that place. 374 00:15:39,296 --> 00:15:42,563 Why don't I book us a great vacation spot 375 00:15:42,565 --> 00:15:44,365 for all of us, and we can all spend 376 00:15:44,367 --> 00:15:45,900 the holiday week together? 377 00:15:45,902 --> 00:15:47,168 - Yay! Cool! - Thanks, El Padre. 378 00:15:47,170 --> 00:15:49,502 - (SPEAKS SPANISH) - DON: I love this idea! 379 00:15:49,504 --> 00:15:51,439 It's something extra Christmasy, 380 00:15:51,441 --> 00:15:54,608 with lots of snow and family activities for all of us. 381 00:15:54,610 --> 00:15:56,343 Dad, I'm just worried about finding a place, 382 00:15:56,345 --> 00:15:57,679 you know, this close to the holiday. 383 00:15:57,681 --> 00:16:00,147 - (BEEPS) - Booked it! Airbnb. All done. 384 00:16:00,149 --> 00:16:02,650 - Yay, El Padre! - (KURT LAUGHS) 385 00:16:02,652 --> 00:16:06,889 It's gonna be so fun, since we're all such great friends, huh? 386 00:16:09,292 --> 00:16:11,525 BRAD: Off to the mountains. Here we go, Griffy. 387 00:16:11,527 --> 00:16:14,127 - Here we go. - Big fun trip! 388 00:16:14,129 --> 00:16:15,563 Let me get that for you, Sara. 389 00:16:15,565 --> 00:16:17,165 - SARA: Thank you. - You're welcome. 390 00:16:17,167 --> 00:16:18,967 You know, Dusty, I think you and Kurt 391 00:16:18,969 --> 00:16:21,236 spending some time around me and my dad 392 00:16:21,238 --> 00:16:22,569 might do you both some good. 393 00:16:22,571 --> 00:16:24,038 Hey, don't you see what he's up to here? 394 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:26,341 He thinks you and me are harboring bad feelings for one another 395 00:16:26,343 --> 00:16:29,343 and sticking us together in some cabin is gonna bring out whatever we're harboring. 396 00:16:29,345 --> 00:16:30,977 But you're not, are you, Brad? 397 00:16:30,979 --> 00:16:32,246 - I'm not what? - Harboring! 398 00:16:32,248 --> 00:16:33,580 No, I'm not harboring anything. 399 00:16:33,582 --> 00:16:34,982 Good, 'cause I'm not harboring anything either. 400 00:16:34,984 --> 00:16:36,250 BRAD: Okay, well, let's use this as an opportunity 401 00:16:36,252 --> 00:16:37,218 to show him that we're not harboring. 402 00:16:37,220 --> 00:16:38,486 'Cause we're not harboring. 403 00:16:38,488 --> 00:16:39,654 You're looking at one safe harbor right here. 404 00:16:39,656 --> 00:16:41,189 All right, good. 405 00:16:41,191 --> 00:16:42,823 You sure you want to pack it like that? Is that how you're gonna do it? 406 00:16:42,825 --> 00:16:45,293 Look, me and Brad got everything under control as a team, okay? 407 00:16:45,295 --> 00:16:46,761 - Right, Brad? - That's right. 408 00:16:46,763 --> 00:16:48,262 Yeah, what would I know about travel? 409 00:16:48,264 --> 00:16:49,630 I've only been to frickin' space. 410 00:16:49,632 --> 00:16:51,332 What, did you pack the space shuttle yourself? 411 00:16:51,334 --> 00:16:53,501 You pop the trunk, arrange all the bags for you and your little space friends? 412 00:16:53,503 --> 00:16:55,772 I did, as a matter of fact. Yes, I packed the shuttle. 413 00:16:57,739 --> 00:16:59,240 That's so cool! 414 00:16:59,242 --> 00:17:01,242 I love how you're always jotting down ideas 415 00:17:01,244 --> 00:17:03,343 for your book in your little notepad. 416 00:17:03,345 --> 00:17:04,611 People ever get crazy and think 417 00:17:04,613 --> 00:17:06,482 you might be writing something bad about them? 418 00:17:08,818 --> 00:17:13,954 Say, Brad, would you mind doing some "Yes, And" drills with me on the way? 419 00:17:13,956 --> 00:17:16,557 "Yes, And" thank you for asking me. 420 00:17:16,559 --> 00:17:19,493 I recently joined an improv comedy workshop. 421 00:17:19,495 --> 00:17:21,427 Brad's been pushing me to do it for years. (CHUCKLES) 422 00:17:21,429 --> 00:17:22,864 Because you're so funny. 423 00:17:22,866 --> 00:17:24,365 Yeah, I really enjoy it. 424 00:17:24,367 --> 00:17:25,665 You should look into it, too, Kurt. 425 00:17:25,667 --> 00:17:27,702 I'd rather look into a loaded gun. 426 00:17:27,704 --> 00:17:29,436 - Did you hear that? - Did you just make that up? 427 00:17:29,438 --> 00:17:31,437 - Zinger! - That's provocative, too. 428 00:17:31,439 --> 00:17:32,973 You ready to let me do that, Mr. Stubborn? 429 00:17:32,975 --> 00:17:35,142 - I got it. - KURT: It's never gonna fit. 430 00:17:35,144 --> 00:17:36,577 Hey, kids, no, no, no, no, 431 00:17:36,579 --> 00:17:39,246 why don't you jump into my car with Adrianna, all right? 432 00:17:39,248 --> 00:17:43,684 So Grandpa Kurt here can enjoy Pop-Pop's company on the way up. (CHUCKLES) 433 00:17:43,686 --> 00:17:46,521 Already warmed up a spot in the capsule for you, Captain! 434 00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:48,625 Still never gonna fit. Ever. 435 00:17:52,028 --> 00:17:54,028 No, I got it. It's fitting fine. 436 00:17:54,030 --> 00:17:55,898 I just had to put it wheels-in. 437 00:18:00,403 --> 00:18:02,735 Perfect fit! All right, let's go. 438 00:18:02,737 --> 00:18:04,672 Hey, Adrianna, you know, when we're up there, 439 00:18:04,674 --> 00:18:06,241 I can teach you how to snowboard. 440 00:18:06,243 --> 00:18:07,407 You're not my dad. 441 00:18:07,409 --> 00:18:09,779 All right. It's gonna be a fun trip. 442 00:18:14,451 --> 00:18:16,850 BRAD: It's time for One-Word Story. 443 00:18:16,852 --> 00:18:19,319 Anyone can join in, doesn't have to be just Dad and I. 444 00:18:19,321 --> 00:18:21,923 You always give us the best start. 445 00:18:21,925 --> 00:18:24,090 - Uncle... - ...Thomas... 446 00:18:24,092 --> 00:18:25,693 - ...went... - ...tiptoeing... 447 00:18:25,695 --> 00:18:26,895 ...into the... 448 00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:28,363 ...Empire State Building. 449 00:18:28,365 --> 00:18:29,496 (BOTH LAUGHING) 450 00:18:29,498 --> 00:18:31,331 Where were you going with that one? 451 00:18:31,333 --> 00:18:34,734 This all took place at the pancake breakfast! 452 00:18:34,736 --> 00:18:36,503 ♪ Fifty-six bottles of beer on the wall 453 00:18:36,505 --> 00:18:38,306 ♪ Fifty-six bottles of beer ♪ 454 00:18:38,308 --> 00:18:40,441 "G." Georgia, Georgia license plate! 455 00:18:40,443 --> 00:18:42,378 Ready, and... Quiet Game. 456 00:18:44,981 --> 00:18:46,713 - I'm terrible at this game! - I can't do it! 457 00:18:46,715 --> 00:18:48,581 - I just can't do it. - I hate the Quiet Game! 458 00:18:48,583 --> 00:18:51,354 (DON AND BRAD CHATTERING EXCITEDLY) 459 00:19:06,535 --> 00:19:08,735 DON: We always liked the Shimpahs. 460 00:19:08,737 --> 00:19:13,240 BRAD: The movers thought the Shimpahs' house was our house and almost moved us in there! 461 00:19:13,242 --> 00:19:16,210 DON: The wrong family! We would've been living with the Shimpahs! 462 00:19:16,212 --> 00:19:17,778 BRAD: Which I wouldn't have minded, 463 00:19:17,780 --> 00:19:20,647 'cause I had a huge crush on Vicky Shimpah. 464 00:19:20,649 --> 00:19:21,949 (BRAD AND DON LAUGHING) 465 00:19:21,951 --> 00:19:23,318 Dad, thank you. 466 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:25,419 You make a five-hour trip go by like that! 467 00:19:25,421 --> 00:19:27,120 DON: I just wanted everybody to have a good time. 468 00:19:27,122 --> 00:19:29,089 Nothing like a nice, relaxing road trip, huh, Dad? 469 00:19:29,091 --> 00:19:30,324 KURT: It was nothing. 470 00:19:30,326 --> 00:19:32,960 I've been in a confined space with a chimp. 471 00:19:32,962 --> 00:19:35,098 (ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) 472 00:19:49,911 --> 00:19:53,579 (LAUGHS MOCKINGLY) Dylan's got a girlfriend! 473 00:19:53,581 --> 00:19:54,749 No, I don't! Be quiet! 474 00:19:54,751 --> 00:19:56,049 MEGAN: Yeah, you love her. 475 00:19:56,051 --> 00:19:58,284 You want to buy her flowers and kiss her on the lips. 476 00:19:58,286 --> 00:19:59,819 Stop it! It's not funny! 477 00:19:59,821 --> 00:20:03,022 Megan! What did I say about teasing your brother about girls? 478 00:20:03,024 --> 00:20:04,091 She's still doing it. 479 00:20:04,093 --> 00:20:05,960 And she drilled him in the head with a snowball too. 480 00:20:05,962 --> 00:20:08,028 (SOFTLY) Well, I'm not her mother. 481 00:20:08,030 --> 00:20:10,697 Now, go take your brother inside, please. Go on, sweetie. 482 00:20:10,699 --> 00:20:11,865 MEGAN: Come on, Griffy. 483 00:20:11,867 --> 00:20:14,601 So Dylan's started noticing the girls? 484 00:20:14,603 --> 00:20:17,771 You know, I think it's gonna be time to give him the talk. 485 00:20:17,773 --> 00:20:20,640 The talk? You mean the talk about the nitty-gritty? 486 00:20:20,642 --> 00:20:22,510 - The "nitty-gritty"? - I'm on it, Sar-Bear. 487 00:20:22,512 --> 00:20:24,044 I've been looking forward to this for a long time. 488 00:20:24,046 --> 00:20:25,579 I got a whole speech prepared, all right? 489 00:20:25,581 --> 00:20:26,981 It's all heartwarming stuff. 490 00:20:26,983 --> 00:20:29,552 I'm sure you and Brad will do a bang-up job with that. 491 00:20:30,519 --> 00:20:32,919 Unless this isn't a co-dadding moment? 492 00:20:32,921 --> 00:20:34,289 - No. - No. 493 00:20:34,291 --> 00:20:36,956 - I mean, no, of course it is. - It is. 494 00:20:36,958 --> 00:20:38,424 - Yeah, it is. It's gonna be. - Okay, yeah. 495 00:20:38,426 --> 00:20:39,961 Yeah, we're gonna talk to him together. 496 00:20:39,963 --> 00:20:42,766 Oh, Dusty! I read about some gender-neutral flashcards. 497 00:20:43,366 --> 00:20:44,665 Flashcards. 498 00:20:44,667 --> 00:20:46,767 He's got flashcards to teach your son how to score. 499 00:20:46,769 --> 00:20:48,101 BRAD: No, of course not. 500 00:20:48,103 --> 00:20:50,771 They cover human reproduction, puberty, and hygiene. 501 00:20:50,773 --> 00:20:53,174 Okay, great. You tee it up with the flashcards, 502 00:20:53,176 --> 00:20:55,009 and I'll knock it home with the heartwarming speech. 503 00:20:55,011 --> 00:20:56,978 - All right? We got this. - You're all set. 504 00:20:56,980 --> 00:21:01,714 I'll never forget when Brad first started asking questions about girls. 505 00:21:01,716 --> 00:21:04,685 I took him out for "the talk." 506 00:21:04,687 --> 00:21:07,887 He was so inquisitive and attentive. 507 00:21:07,889 --> 00:21:10,857 Then I dropped him back off at his dorm. 508 00:21:10,859 --> 00:21:11,861 Yeah... 509 00:21:12,462 --> 00:21:13,830 Well, come on in. 510 00:21:16,265 --> 00:21:17,266 (ALL EXCLAIM) 511 00:21:18,501 --> 00:21:20,033 Hey, look, there's a game room! 512 00:21:20,035 --> 00:21:22,203 - KAREN: Wow. Adrianna, look. - DYLAN: And a pool table! 513 00:21:22,205 --> 00:21:23,503 This is what I'm talking about. 514 00:21:23,505 --> 00:21:25,539 Look at that view! 515 00:21:25,541 --> 00:21:27,908 Look at all the mortise and tenon joinery! 516 00:21:27,910 --> 00:21:29,077 Sittin' fat. 517 00:21:29,079 --> 00:21:31,846 Your old man sure pulled the right rein getting this place. 518 00:21:31,848 --> 00:21:34,013 Oh, wow. I know. Better throw you a parade, huh? 519 00:21:34,015 --> 00:21:36,684 (LAUGHING) Oh, I am really looking forward to that. 520 00:21:36,686 --> 00:21:38,552 Well, you want the thank yous printed on the bass drums 521 00:21:38,554 --> 00:21:39,752 or the sousaphone covers? 522 00:21:39,754 --> 00:21:42,091 Hey, did anyone bring my bag in? 523 00:21:45,293 --> 00:21:47,294 My supervisor Clyde Unix... 524 00:21:47,296 --> 00:21:50,563 He took over after Kirby Keller retired in '86. 525 00:21:50,565 --> 00:21:53,434 Horse farm, upper peninsula of Michigan. 526 00:21:53,436 --> 00:21:55,705 Gorgeous country, if you ever get the chance. 527 00:21:59,509 --> 00:22:00,710 Wow. 528 00:22:01,244 --> 00:22:02,712 Nice shower. (CHUCKLES) 529 00:22:04,379 --> 00:22:05,782 That's weird. 530 00:22:06,616 --> 00:22:08,184 No controls. 531 00:22:09,118 --> 00:22:11,452 Hey, honey, how do you turn the shower on? 532 00:22:11,454 --> 00:22:13,387 AUTOMATED VOICE: Shower on. 533 00:22:13,389 --> 00:22:14,922 Off! Shower off! 534 00:22:14,924 --> 00:22:17,023 AUTOMATED VOICE: Shower off. 535 00:22:17,025 --> 00:22:18,827 Gosh! Ooh! 536 00:22:19,728 --> 00:22:22,029 Voice-activated water. Cool. 537 00:22:22,031 --> 00:22:23,931 - AUTOMATED VOICE: Water cool. - (YELLS) 538 00:22:23,933 --> 00:22:26,599 - Off! Shower off! - AUTOMATED VOICE: Shower off. 539 00:22:26,601 --> 00:22:28,469 - Water... Cool... - Water. Shower cool. 540 00:22:28,471 --> 00:22:30,205 - Cool the water. - Water cool. 541 00:22:31,041 --> 00:22:33,176 Water off! Turn off! 542 00:22:34,409 --> 00:22:35,644 Off. 543 00:22:36,012 --> 00:22:37,377 Oh, my God. 544 00:22:37,379 --> 00:22:38,511 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 545 00:22:38,513 --> 00:22:39,614 SARA: Oh, my God! 546 00:22:39,616 --> 00:22:41,883 You scored on yourself. Friendly fire. 547 00:22:41,885 --> 00:22:43,584 KAREN: Eight ball, corner pocket. 548 00:22:43,586 --> 00:22:44,984 - KURT: Ooh! No slashing. - Yeah. 549 00:22:44,986 --> 00:22:47,023 - Good job, babe. - Thank you, babe. 550 00:22:48,623 --> 00:22:50,491 SARA: (GROANS) Come on, Sara! 551 00:22:50,493 --> 00:22:52,095 No, that is holding. 552 00:22:54,696 --> 00:22:55,762 (CHRISTMAS SONG PLAYS LOUDLY) 553 00:22:55,764 --> 00:22:57,565 It's too loud, Dylan! Turn it down! 554 00:22:57,567 --> 00:22:58,665 I don't know how! 555 00:22:58,667 --> 00:23:00,635 Hey, hey, hey, turn that down! 556 00:23:00,637 --> 00:23:02,304 Griffy's asleep. 557 00:23:03,540 --> 00:23:04,741 (LOWERS VOLUME) 558 00:23:05,841 --> 00:23:07,574 Why are you dressed like a woman, Brad? 559 00:23:07,576 --> 00:23:08,809 I can't find my stuff. 560 00:23:08,811 --> 00:23:10,543 Are you sure you got my bag to fit in the car? 561 00:23:10,545 --> 00:23:11,912 Yeah, of course. It fit perfect. 562 00:23:11,914 --> 00:23:14,080 Look, can we skip this one? I can't stand this song. 563 00:23:14,082 --> 00:23:17,518 - Skip it. Skip it, guys. - Oh, no, no, no! No, Sara. 564 00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:19,153 This is a great song. 565 00:23:19,155 --> 00:23:21,555 This is my real dad's favorite Christmas song. 566 00:23:21,557 --> 00:23:23,723 Yeah, well, I'm glad it makes him happy. 567 00:23:23,725 --> 00:23:25,158 You think I don't want to like this song? 568 00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:27,561 Of course I want to, it's a super uplifting song. 569 00:23:27,563 --> 00:23:29,763 - Yeah. - But he ruined it for me. 570 00:23:29,765 --> 00:23:31,232 What are you talking about? 571 00:23:31,234 --> 00:23:33,835 All right, so I'm 12 years old, and I join the Glee Club. 572 00:23:33,837 --> 00:23:35,302 (CHUCKLES) Glee Club. 573 00:23:35,304 --> 00:23:37,471 All my buddies in the neighborhood, they gave me crap over it, 574 00:23:37,473 --> 00:23:39,007 but I don't care, because for the holiday pageant 575 00:23:39,009 --> 00:23:40,640 we're doing Do They Know It's Christmas?, 576 00:23:40,642 --> 00:23:43,176 and I was determined to land that Bono part. 577 00:23:43,178 --> 00:23:47,915 ♪ There's a world outside your window 578 00:23:47,917 --> 00:23:52,051 ♪ And it's a world of dread and fear 579 00:23:52,053 --> 00:23:55,655 ♪ Where the only water flowing is... 580 00:23:55,657 --> 00:23:59,626 DUSTY: So my buddy Derrick Lindmeyer is laying into the Sting part, 581 00:23:59,628 --> 00:24:01,895 when out in the audience, what do I see? 582 00:24:01,897 --> 00:24:04,498 My dad giving Scotty Kimball's mom a foot rub, 583 00:24:04,500 --> 00:24:05,869 not even paying attention! 584 00:24:10,272 --> 00:24:14,040 I totally missed the Bono part, and everybody made fun of me. 585 00:24:14,042 --> 00:24:15,044 (GIGGLING) 586 00:24:17,312 --> 00:24:21,080 ♪ And there won't be snow in Africa 587 00:24:21,082 --> 00:24:23,684 ♪ this Christmastime... ♪ 588 00:24:23,686 --> 00:24:25,418 I got no recollection of that. 589 00:24:25,420 --> 00:24:26,721 Yeah, well, I do, all right? 590 00:24:26,723 --> 00:24:28,155 And I got a lot of other stories just like it. 591 00:24:28,157 --> 00:24:30,424 - Science Fair, you left with Brian Higby's mom. - (SCOFFS) 592 00:24:30,426 --> 00:24:33,827 Little League regionals, you left with Mark Fitzgerald's mom and his aunt! 593 00:24:33,829 --> 00:24:35,296 (STAMMERS) Oh, yeah, now that I remember. 594 00:24:35,298 --> 00:24:36,830 Yeah, yeah. That went into extra innings. 595 00:24:36,832 --> 00:24:38,299 Know what I mean, kid? (CHUCKLES) 596 00:24:38,301 --> 00:24:39,703 - No. - Ah. 597 00:24:40,136 --> 00:24:41,204 Nice. 598 00:24:45,274 --> 00:24:47,273 Dusty! Dusty! Come on. 599 00:24:47,275 --> 00:24:49,876 He's gonna ruin Christmas, Brad, I'm telling you. 600 00:24:49,878 --> 00:24:52,113 (SIGHS) Look, I hate to hit you with the tough love, 601 00:24:52,115 --> 00:24:55,014 but the only person who can ruin your Christmas 602 00:24:55,016 --> 00:24:57,953 is looking back at you from that mirror. 603 00:24:59,688 --> 00:25:01,488 - All I see is you, Brad. - Oh. 604 00:25:01,490 --> 00:25:03,359 Okay. Well, sorry. Here. Here. 605 00:25:04,561 --> 00:25:05,861 There. There we go. 606 00:25:06,462 --> 00:25:07,794 - Still you, Brad. - Is it? 607 00:25:07,796 --> 00:25:09,163 Yeah, it's still you. 608 00:25:09,165 --> 00:25:11,999 Okay, well, look, I'm looking at you, so I meant you. 609 00:25:12,001 --> 00:25:13,733 Well, I'm looking at you, so I see you. 610 00:25:13,735 --> 00:25:14,967 Forget the mirror. 611 00:25:14,969 --> 00:25:16,703 You're the only one who can ruin your Christmas. 612 00:25:16,705 --> 00:25:17,937 Don't look at the mirror! 613 00:25:17,939 --> 00:25:19,173 I'm still looking at you if I look in the mirror. 614 00:25:19,175 --> 00:25:21,742 Don't worry about the mirror. That was bad. 615 00:25:21,744 --> 00:25:23,411 - Forget the mirror exists. - Okay. 616 00:25:23,413 --> 00:25:24,944 Let's just focus on those kids 617 00:25:24,946 --> 00:25:27,117 and giving them a better childhood than you had. 618 00:25:28,751 --> 00:25:30,217 - You're right. - Yeah? 619 00:25:30,219 --> 00:25:31,184 It's about them. 620 00:25:31,186 --> 00:25:32,453 It's about giving them a better Christmas. 621 00:25:32,455 --> 00:25:33,787 There you go. 622 00:25:33,789 --> 00:25:35,588 Yeah, and then we jam that amazing Christmas right in his butthole! 623 00:25:35,590 --> 00:25:37,723 Yes, we do. Wait! Whoa, whoa! No. 624 00:25:37,725 --> 00:25:39,260 DUSTY: Yes! 625 00:25:39,262 --> 00:25:41,328 You know, Dusty, I'm just gonna take the mirror down. 626 00:25:41,330 --> 00:25:43,263 Then we don't have to worry about it. 627 00:25:43,265 --> 00:25:45,267 (ALL LAUGHING) 628 00:25:45,767 --> 00:25:47,068 Yeah! 629 00:25:47,070 --> 00:25:49,103 - Here we go. - Here we go. 630 00:25:49,105 --> 00:25:51,141 Hey, where's your glove? 631 00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:54,777 No! Griffy! 632 00:25:56,211 --> 00:25:57,511 Excuse me. 633 00:25:57,513 --> 00:25:58,514 (GRUNTING) 634 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:01,182 Griffy! 635 00:26:01,184 --> 00:26:02,382 (LAUGHING) 636 00:26:02,384 --> 00:26:03,920 Griffy! Hey! 637 00:26:04,587 --> 00:26:06,419 (GASPS) Griffy! 638 00:26:06,421 --> 00:26:08,521 Griffy! 639 00:26:08,523 --> 00:26:10,457 - Watch out, honey! - (SARA GROANS) 640 00:26:10,459 --> 00:26:11,460 (YELPING) 641 00:26:13,728 --> 00:26:14,930 (GRIFFY BABBLING) 642 00:26:16,264 --> 00:26:18,467 - (BRAD SCREAMING) - Is that Brad? 643 00:26:21,035 --> 00:26:23,038 - That's Brad! - That's Brad. 644 00:26:23,473 --> 00:26:24,771 (PANTING) 645 00:26:24,773 --> 00:26:27,140 - That boy never... - (ALL LAUGHING) 646 00:26:27,142 --> 00:26:29,912 Hey, come here. Look at this. (LAUGHING) 647 00:26:35,451 --> 00:26:37,320 - Mmm. Honey. - (GASPS) 648 00:26:38,286 --> 00:26:39,555 - Oh. - Ow! 649 00:26:41,890 --> 00:26:43,292 Dusty, you like that? 650 00:26:46,195 --> 00:26:48,097 Let me capture this for posterity. 651 00:26:50,867 --> 00:26:52,098 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 652 00:26:52,100 --> 00:26:55,001 DON: The Nativity is a big deal in Terra Haute. 653 00:26:55,003 --> 00:26:58,070 This is the Redeemer, this is Abundant Life. 654 00:26:58,072 --> 00:26:59,138 Dad. 655 00:26:59,140 --> 00:27:01,910 - (STAMMERING) - Let's go, Pop-Pop. 656 00:27:06,416 --> 00:27:08,749 - It's real pretty. - We'll take the pretty gun. 657 00:27:08,751 --> 00:27:11,217 No. No, no, no, no. 658 00:27:11,219 --> 00:27:14,355 We're not gonna take that today 'cause we are a gun-free family. 659 00:27:14,357 --> 00:27:17,961 Good Lord. What has he turned you into? 660 00:27:24,667 --> 00:27:26,869 - Ahh! - Ha-ha! 661 00:27:27,770 --> 00:27:29,269 All right, throw it down! 662 00:27:29,271 --> 00:27:31,507 All right, here it comes, Braddie! 663 00:27:38,446 --> 00:27:39,482 Brad! 664 00:27:45,587 --> 00:27:47,221 SARA: Hey, honey! 665 00:27:47,223 --> 00:27:48,856 Brad! Brad! 666 00:27:48,858 --> 00:27:51,492 You need a hat. You're gonna freeze, babe. 667 00:27:51,494 --> 00:27:52,693 Thanks, sweetie. 668 00:27:52,695 --> 00:27:54,161 - You look cute. - (CHUCKLES) 669 00:27:54,163 --> 00:27:57,563 Hey, I want to talk to you. I'm worried about your dad. 670 00:27:57,565 --> 00:28:00,701 Don't you think he seems slightly less chatty than normal? 671 00:28:00,703 --> 00:28:02,071 You got to be shitting me. 672 00:28:03,004 --> 00:28:04,871 I mean, he shows up here without your mom? 673 00:28:04,873 --> 00:28:07,374 Don't you think that's weird? There might be a problem? 674 00:28:07,376 --> 00:28:09,242 With my mom and dad's relationship? 675 00:28:09,244 --> 00:28:10,144 Yeah! 676 00:28:10,146 --> 00:28:12,648 What? They love each other more than we do! 677 00:28:13,248 --> 00:28:14,146 Yeah. 678 00:28:14,148 --> 00:28:15,848 I brought you your hat! 679 00:28:15,850 --> 00:28:17,818 No, honey, I didn't mean it that way. 680 00:28:17,820 --> 00:28:19,886 It's a huge compliment. Come on. 681 00:28:19,888 --> 00:28:21,053 You got to understand. 682 00:28:21,055 --> 00:28:22,958 Brad! The Christmas lights! 683 00:28:23,759 --> 00:28:26,193 No, no, no, no. (GROANS) 684 00:28:26,195 --> 00:28:28,328 All the light strands are connected. 685 00:28:28,330 --> 00:28:29,564 A terrible idea! 686 00:28:33,569 --> 00:28:35,071 None of these switches work! 687 00:28:37,105 --> 00:28:39,373 - Heads up. - (YELPS) 688 00:28:39,375 --> 00:28:41,742 Dad! What are these levers for? 689 00:28:41,744 --> 00:28:43,010 Ow! 690 00:28:43,012 --> 00:28:44,644 - Sara! - Stand clear! 691 00:28:44,646 --> 00:28:45,715 Brad! (WHIMPERING) 692 00:28:49,318 --> 00:28:51,484 (GRUNTING) 693 00:28:51,486 --> 00:28:52,919 DUSTY: Brad, let it go! 694 00:28:52,921 --> 00:28:54,421 I don't want it to hit your car. 695 00:28:54,423 --> 00:28:56,559 - SARA: Let it go! - (BRAD SCREAMING) 696 00:28:58,359 --> 00:29:00,694 - Tell him to let it go. - Let it go! 697 00:29:00,696 --> 00:29:02,331 - (YELLING) - (SARA SCREAMING) 698 00:29:10,606 --> 00:29:12,075 DUSTY: Are you all right? 699 00:29:13,375 --> 00:29:16,344 Look what you did to the side of my car, man. 700 00:29:16,346 --> 00:29:17,714 (ALARM BLARING) 701 00:29:20,582 --> 00:29:22,949 Dusty, I'm so sorry. 702 00:29:22,951 --> 00:29:25,684 - (GROANS) - SARA: Honey! 703 00:29:25,686 --> 00:29:27,023 - (CAMERA CLICKS) - (LAUGHING) 704 00:29:29,658 --> 00:29:31,724 I'm not putting that Santa Claus back up there. 705 00:29:31,726 --> 00:29:34,994 I don't want to put it back on the roof, either. 706 00:29:34,996 --> 00:29:37,097 - Why didn't he let go? - (LAUGHING) 707 00:29:37,099 --> 00:29:38,734 Because he's an idiot! 708 00:29:44,439 --> 00:29:45,440 (PANTING) 709 00:29:48,976 --> 00:29:50,178 (SCOFFS) 710 00:29:51,813 --> 00:29:53,416 Son of a... 711 00:29:57,386 --> 00:29:58,620 (DON SNORING) 712 00:30:00,790 --> 00:30:01,791 Don. 713 00:30:02,657 --> 00:30:03,757 Don. 714 00:30:03,759 --> 00:30:05,528 Don, wake up. Don! 715 00:30:06,594 --> 00:30:08,729 Don, wake up! Don! Don! 716 00:30:08,731 --> 00:30:11,063 (MUMBLING) 717 00:30:11,065 --> 00:30:15,069 Kurt, are you okay? Did you have a bad dream? 718 00:30:15,071 --> 00:30:16,235 Do you need to talk? 719 00:30:16,237 --> 00:30:18,806 Yeah, I need to be held. My heart hurts. No! 720 00:30:18,808 --> 00:30:21,541 Did you touch the thermostat? Did you turn it up? 721 00:30:21,543 --> 00:30:23,010 Well, of course not. 722 00:30:23,012 --> 00:30:24,778 Did somebody fiddle with the thermostat? 723 00:30:24,780 --> 00:30:25,945 Yes! It's 85 degrees. 724 00:30:25,947 --> 00:30:28,281 85! Do you have any idea how much 725 00:30:28,283 --> 00:30:30,451 even a few degrees can impact the gas bill? 726 00:30:30,453 --> 00:30:32,319 Of course I do! It's unthinkable. 727 00:30:32,321 --> 00:30:35,521 Dad? Kurt? What's going on in here? 728 00:30:35,523 --> 00:30:36,388 Why is it so hot? 729 00:30:36,390 --> 00:30:38,291 Someone fiddled with the thermostat! 730 00:30:38,293 --> 00:30:40,562 What? Who would do that? 731 00:30:41,163 --> 00:30:42,365 (DOOR OPENS) 732 00:30:47,969 --> 00:30:49,836 What do you think you're doing? 733 00:30:49,838 --> 00:30:51,271 It's roasting in here! 734 00:30:51,273 --> 00:30:53,540 I like to sleep with my window open. 735 00:30:53,542 --> 00:30:54,840 Hey, kid. 736 00:30:54,842 --> 00:30:57,645 Are you allowed to touch the thermostat at your mom's house? 737 00:30:57,647 --> 00:30:58,648 (SCOFFS) Duh. 738 00:31:01,451 --> 00:31:02,816 (DOOR CLOSES) 739 00:31:02,818 --> 00:31:04,217 What is going on? 740 00:31:04,219 --> 00:31:06,386 Adrianna! She turned up the thermostat! 741 00:31:06,388 --> 00:31:08,454 Said she fiddles with the thermostat at your place 742 00:31:08,456 --> 00:31:10,191 any time she damn well pleases. 743 00:31:11,224 --> 00:31:12,762 Dusty, is that true? Tell me that's not true. 744 00:31:14,228 --> 00:31:16,029 Oh, criminy, Dusty! 745 00:31:16,031 --> 00:31:18,498 You might as well give her your wallet and your 401(k) while you're at it! 746 00:31:18,500 --> 00:31:20,633 Brad, do you let the kids touch the thermostat at your house? 747 00:31:20,635 --> 00:31:24,338 What? No! The thermostat is a sacred covenant. 748 00:31:24,340 --> 00:31:26,906 I can't believe we're even talking about this! 749 00:31:26,908 --> 00:31:28,375 This is madness! 750 00:31:28,377 --> 00:31:30,309 Oh, God, even Brad's got his house in order. 751 00:31:30,311 --> 00:31:31,645 Hey, you got no right to talk, all right? 752 00:31:31,647 --> 00:31:33,280 It wasn't hard to keep me away from the thermostat 753 00:31:33,282 --> 00:31:34,880 once you shipped me off to military school. 754 00:31:34,882 --> 00:31:36,049 Kurt, you didn't. 755 00:31:36,051 --> 00:31:37,184 He was out of control. He was a bedwetter. 756 00:31:37,186 --> 00:31:39,019 I was a bedwetter. Were you a bedwetter? 757 00:31:39,021 --> 00:31:40,353 I was four years old! 758 00:31:40,355 --> 00:31:42,422 BRAD: Okay, everyone take it easy. 759 00:31:42,424 --> 00:31:45,524 It's not Dusty's fault that he lets Adrianna walk all over him. 760 00:31:45,526 --> 00:31:47,159 She does not walk all over me! 761 00:31:47,161 --> 00:31:48,994 I can see how being a stepdad, 762 00:31:48,996 --> 00:31:52,799 you might not feel empowered to discipline someone else's child. 763 00:31:52,801 --> 00:31:55,269 - (SCOFFS) - Hey, quit your scoffing, all right? 764 00:31:55,271 --> 00:31:56,436 And you two quit helping me. 765 00:31:56,438 --> 00:32:00,840 Look, Karen and Roger spoil her to no end. 766 00:32:00,842 --> 00:32:02,709 It's crazy! 767 00:32:02,711 --> 00:32:04,578 And there's nothing you can do. I get it! 768 00:32:04,580 --> 00:32:07,114 You're the stepdad. You're screwed. 769 00:32:07,116 --> 00:32:08,982 That kid's never gonna respect you 770 00:32:08,984 --> 00:32:10,520 unless you bring the hammer down. 771 00:32:19,561 --> 00:32:22,195 - (DOOR CLOSES) - What the hell was that, Brad? 772 00:32:22,197 --> 00:32:24,098 (CHUCKLES) I know. He's old school. 773 00:32:24,100 --> 00:32:25,933 I think you handled this really well, Brad. 774 00:32:25,935 --> 00:32:28,171 I'm so proud of the way you express yourself. 775 00:32:28,904 --> 00:32:30,173 Come here. 776 00:32:30,872 --> 00:32:32,507 Again? Really? 777 00:32:34,142 --> 00:32:35,542 Good night, Dusty! 778 00:32:35,544 --> 00:32:37,712 - BRAD: Good night, Dad. - DON: Good night, Brad. 779 00:32:46,888 --> 00:32:49,257 (CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING) 780 00:32:55,231 --> 00:32:56,432 (CHILDREN LAUGHING) 781 00:32:57,264 --> 00:32:59,399 - Jump! Jump! - DON: Come on, Griff. 782 00:32:59,401 --> 00:33:00,936 Jumpy, jumpy, jumpy! 783 00:33:01,669 --> 00:33:02,671 Casey's here! 784 00:33:03,205 --> 00:33:04,407 Hey, guys. 785 00:33:04,873 --> 00:33:05,873 Hey. 786 00:33:05,875 --> 00:33:07,941 ADRIANNA: Hey, Dylan, look. Casey's here. 787 00:33:07,943 --> 00:33:09,342 You want to come French her? 788 00:33:09,344 --> 00:33:12,145 Yeah, you want to go do French on your girlfriend, Dylan? 789 00:33:12,147 --> 00:33:14,446 SARA: Megan! Leave him alone. 790 00:33:14,448 --> 00:33:16,849 And where did you learn "do French"? 791 00:33:16,851 --> 00:33:17,852 I'll go talk to him. 792 00:33:21,023 --> 00:33:23,559 Dylan? You okay, buddy? 793 00:33:25,126 --> 00:33:26,492 (SIGHS) 794 00:33:26,494 --> 00:33:29,430 I just... I don't get the whole girls thing. 795 00:33:29,432 --> 00:33:30,597 Oh. 796 00:33:30,599 --> 00:33:33,232 Girls, yeah. Yeah, that can be tricky. 797 00:33:33,234 --> 00:33:36,368 But you know who'd be really good in explaining that department? 798 00:33:36,370 --> 00:33:37,704 Your dad. Let me go grab him. 799 00:33:37,706 --> 00:33:40,139 No, Brad! I just want to talk to you about this. 800 00:33:40,141 --> 00:33:41,407 Just you, Brad, please? 801 00:33:41,409 --> 00:33:43,411 Me? You sure you don't want to talk to your dad? 802 00:33:44,413 --> 00:33:46,846 Oh, well, girls. Okay. 803 00:33:46,848 --> 00:33:49,115 Huh. Um... 804 00:33:49,117 --> 00:33:50,319 All right, the girl talk. 805 00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:54,053 You know, boys have a... 806 00:33:54,055 --> 00:33:56,956 A dingle, right? And girls have a hoo-hoo or a whim-wham. 807 00:33:56,958 --> 00:33:59,492 - Brad, I already know about that stuff. - You do? 808 00:33:59,494 --> 00:34:01,595 - Yes. From school, and it's gross. - Perfect! 809 00:34:01,597 --> 00:34:04,330 I just want to know what to do if I, you know, 810 00:34:04,332 --> 00:34:05,765 I like somebody. 811 00:34:05,767 --> 00:34:06,768 Right, well... 812 00:34:07,735 --> 00:34:09,501 You want to become her friend first. 813 00:34:09,503 --> 00:34:11,737 You want to be that one that she confides in, 814 00:34:11,739 --> 00:34:13,607 that she tells you about all of her problems 815 00:34:13,609 --> 00:34:15,308 with the guys she's actually dating. 816 00:34:15,310 --> 00:34:16,409 Got it. 817 00:34:16,411 --> 00:34:17,643 It's called the Friend Zone. 818 00:34:17,645 --> 00:34:21,447 And it's where we Whitaker men thrive. 819 00:34:21,449 --> 00:34:24,483 We're the best in the biz. (CHUCKLES) Yeah. 820 00:34:24,485 --> 00:34:28,487 Here we are in a wild frontier, full of majestic pines, 821 00:34:28,489 --> 00:34:30,324 and you two numb nuts are sorting through 822 00:34:30,326 --> 00:34:32,826 a bunch of dried twigs on a Rite Aid parking lot. 823 00:34:32,828 --> 00:34:34,960 You just can't go out on public land and cut down a tree, Dad. 824 00:34:34,962 --> 00:34:38,030 Dusty, we are the public. We own those trees. 825 00:34:38,032 --> 00:34:39,998 (SCOFFS) 826 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,869 Oh, I get it. You need to ask co-dad for permission. 827 00:34:42,871 --> 00:34:44,971 Oh, shut up. I know what you're trying to do. 828 00:34:44,973 --> 00:34:46,440 What am I doing? 829 00:34:46,442 --> 00:34:48,541 Make it look like I can't make a move without checking in with Brad first. 830 00:34:48,543 --> 00:34:51,378 Yeah, that's what I'm doing. Am I right about that? 831 00:34:51,380 --> 00:34:53,715 (CHUCKLING) Oh, God. 832 00:34:55,817 --> 00:34:56,782 (SCOFFS) 833 00:34:56,784 --> 00:34:59,786 BRAD: And we own the paint in the Friend Zone. 834 00:34:59,788 --> 00:35:02,054 And sure we're gonna lose some. Doesn't matter. 835 00:35:02,056 --> 00:35:04,123 We're gonna lose a lot, I'll be frank with you. 836 00:35:04,125 --> 00:35:05,491 Well, what do you know? 837 00:35:05,493 --> 00:35:08,661 Brad's having that nitty-gritty talk for you. 838 00:35:08,663 --> 00:35:11,797 Must be nice to have someone to handle the tough stuff, huh? 839 00:35:11,799 --> 00:35:13,800 (SIGHS) And eventually you'll keep in touch. 840 00:35:13,802 --> 00:35:16,469 You might even be invited to their wedding! 841 00:35:16,471 --> 00:35:18,637 And their dad's like, "Brad, what are you doing here? 842 00:35:18,639 --> 00:35:21,141 "Teresa never talks about you!" 843 00:35:21,143 --> 00:35:22,775 And you're like, "I'm invited." 844 00:35:22,777 --> 00:35:25,212 And he's, "I wonder about that." 845 00:35:25,214 --> 00:35:26,813 And you show them the proof! 846 00:35:26,815 --> 00:35:28,782 Always bring the wedding invite with you. 847 00:35:28,784 --> 00:35:30,916 - Then they can't kick you out. - Okay. 848 00:35:30,918 --> 00:35:34,387 But you'll be sad ultimately knowing that she's not with you, 849 00:35:34,389 --> 00:35:37,956 and you want to prepare yourself with, like, a mixtape of sad songs. 850 00:35:37,958 --> 00:35:41,460 Anything from Chicago is usually pretty good. 851 00:35:41,462 --> 00:35:44,197 ♪ If you leave me now 852 00:35:44,199 --> 00:35:48,402 ♪ You take away the biggest part of me 853 00:35:48,404 --> 00:35:50,302 I don't really know that song. 854 00:35:50,304 --> 00:35:54,109 ♪ Ooh-wee, no, baby, please don't go ♪ 855 00:35:54,942 --> 00:35:57,744 Wait! No, no, no! Dylan, 856 00:35:57,746 --> 00:35:59,980 that is the worst advice anyone could give you. 857 00:35:59,982 --> 00:36:01,114 Listen to your dad, please. 858 00:36:01,116 --> 00:36:03,282 It's okay, Dad. We don't have to talk about it. 859 00:36:03,284 --> 00:36:05,284 No, no, buddy, buddy, wait, wait, look! 860 00:36:05,286 --> 00:36:07,186 Hey, this stuff is all about confidence. 861 00:36:07,188 --> 00:36:09,623 You just got to believe you're the best she's ever gonna find. 862 00:36:09,625 --> 00:36:12,525 You believe that to your core, and she will, too, I promise you. 863 00:36:12,527 --> 00:36:13,692 But what if she doesn't? 864 00:36:13,694 --> 00:36:16,161 Buddy, you can't be afraid of rejection. 865 00:36:16,163 --> 00:36:17,396 You'll never find love 866 00:36:17,398 --> 00:36:19,264 if you're too scared to put yourself out there. 867 00:36:19,266 --> 00:36:20,532 KURT: Hey, Goggles? 868 00:36:20,534 --> 00:36:21,867 Mistletoe is your ticket. 869 00:36:21,869 --> 00:36:24,438 You walk right up to her, you dangle this over her head, 870 00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:26,840 and then you slap your spaghetti suckers right on her. 871 00:36:26,842 --> 00:36:28,273 I don't know if that's appropriate. 872 00:36:28,275 --> 00:36:31,543 It's a time-honored holiday tradition, Mr. War-On-Christmas. 873 00:36:31,545 --> 00:36:33,480 Then you give her a nice smack on the caboose 874 00:36:33,482 --> 00:36:35,114 and tell her what a lucky girl she is. 875 00:36:35,116 --> 00:36:37,183 - Don't listen to that part, all right? - Yeah, don't listen to that part. 876 00:36:37,185 --> 00:36:38,585 Look at me. Look at me. 877 00:36:38,587 --> 00:36:39,985 You want to be like Brad and be in the Friend Zone, 878 00:36:39,987 --> 00:36:41,554 or you wanna be Dad and get in the end zone? 879 00:36:41,556 --> 00:36:43,288 This worked for me when I was your age. 880 00:36:43,290 --> 00:36:44,626 You want to go for it, buddy? 881 00:36:46,161 --> 00:36:47,793 Come on, you can do this. 882 00:36:47,795 --> 00:36:53,002 ♪ A love like ours is love that's hard to find 883 00:36:56,003 --> 00:36:59,538 ♪ How could we let it slip away? ♪ 884 00:36:59,540 --> 00:37:01,608 No! I like Brad's way more. 885 00:37:01,610 --> 00:37:04,547 I just want to be her friend and listen to her problems! 886 00:37:12,388 --> 00:37:15,487 MEGAN: My tree, my tree, my tree, my tree. 887 00:37:15,489 --> 00:37:16,655 My tree, my tree. 888 00:37:16,657 --> 00:37:17,724 Can I yell "Timber"? 889 00:37:17,726 --> 00:37:19,893 - Sure can, sweetheart. - Yay! 890 00:37:19,895 --> 00:37:20,994 DON: Is this okay? 891 00:37:20,996 --> 00:37:23,563 Are any of these trees even gonna fit in the cabin? 892 00:37:23,565 --> 00:37:25,331 We're gonna cut off the top 25 feet 893 00:37:25,333 --> 00:37:27,433 and chop the rest up for firewood, Don. 894 00:37:27,435 --> 00:37:28,601 Oh. 895 00:37:28,603 --> 00:37:30,570 Now, this is the Duster Buster I remember. 896 00:37:30,572 --> 00:37:34,507 A certified badass that makes his own rules! 897 00:37:34,509 --> 00:37:36,712 Go find a good tree, would you? 898 00:37:37,645 --> 00:37:40,045 Boy, I don't know about this, Kurt. 899 00:37:40,047 --> 00:37:42,782 Isn't it illegal to harvest a tree from public lands? 900 00:37:42,784 --> 00:37:44,884 Oh, hell, yeah. It's a federal crime. 901 00:37:44,886 --> 00:37:48,087 I tried to talk him out of it, but you know how stubborn that kid can be. 902 00:37:48,089 --> 00:37:49,755 Okay. 903 00:37:49,757 --> 00:37:53,092 Dusty, look, I know you're upset about Dylan, but I just... 904 00:37:53,094 --> 00:37:56,228 I told you, Brad, I'm not upset, all right? We're co-dads! 905 00:37:56,230 --> 00:37:59,032 If he prefers your terrible advice, fine, I'm cool with that. 906 00:37:59,034 --> 00:38:01,300 I just want to find the perfect Together Christmas tree. 907 00:38:01,302 --> 00:38:03,203 Well, I just don't know if it's the best choice, you know? 908 00:38:03,205 --> 00:38:07,172 Well, maybe we're not always gonna do everything your way every time. 909 00:38:07,174 --> 00:38:08,375 Trouble in paradise, fellas? 910 00:38:08,377 --> 00:38:10,913 - No, we're picking a tree. - Just having a conversation. 911 00:38:11,647 --> 00:38:13,648 MEGAN AND DYLAN: El Padre! 912 00:38:13,982 --> 00:38:15,047 Lookit! 913 00:38:15,049 --> 00:38:17,683 Hey, what, kids? What, you find a dead squirrel? 914 00:38:17,685 --> 00:38:19,386 We don't have to do things my way. 915 00:38:19,388 --> 00:38:20,453 - Really? - Yeah. 916 00:38:20,455 --> 00:38:22,054 What about baseball snack? 917 00:38:22,056 --> 00:38:23,790 I just wanted to give out Fruit Roll-Ups, and what's the big deal? 918 00:38:23,792 --> 00:38:26,393 No, I just feel like organic fruit is much more nutritious 919 00:38:26,395 --> 00:38:27,728 than its rolled-up counterpart. 920 00:38:27,730 --> 00:38:29,429 - Yeah? - Yeah. 921 00:38:29,431 --> 00:38:31,431 And what about Megan's diorama? You didn't want to use any of my ideas. 922 00:38:31,433 --> 00:38:32,831 Your only idea was the Bay of Pigs! 923 00:38:32,833 --> 00:38:34,567 But it's an important event in our nation's history! 924 00:38:34,569 --> 00:38:36,203 It was bloody. 925 00:38:36,205 --> 00:38:38,337 You wanted her to do green energy so you could look Mr. Perfect Dad. 926 00:38:38,339 --> 00:38:40,806 - I'm not Mr. Perfect Dad. - You act like Mr. Perfect Dad. 927 00:38:40,808 --> 00:38:42,007 I'm not Mr. Perfect Dad. 928 00:38:42,009 --> 00:38:43,442 And we don't have to do things my way. 929 00:38:43,444 --> 00:38:45,147 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 930 00:38:46,748 --> 00:38:49,248 Okay. You don't think I can operate a chainsaw, do you? 931 00:38:49,250 --> 00:38:53,085 Guess who got his woodlands management badge in Webelos. 932 00:38:53,087 --> 00:38:55,621 I did! Brad Whitaker. 933 00:38:55,623 --> 00:38:56,922 (CLEARS THROAT) 934 00:38:56,924 --> 00:38:58,224 Ah! 935 00:38:58,226 --> 00:39:02,164 Dusty, look at this one. Perfectly symmetrical. 936 00:39:02,563 --> 00:39:03,799 Okay. 937 00:39:06,969 --> 00:39:08,400 Oh, yeah. 938 00:39:08,402 --> 00:39:10,270 Keep an eye out for rangers! 939 00:39:10,272 --> 00:39:14,507 I've got to pinpoint a 60 degree angle top cut. 940 00:39:14,509 --> 00:39:17,012 That's what I'm gonna do first. 941 00:39:18,413 --> 00:39:20,315 Oh, yeah! She's cutting like butter! 942 00:39:21,616 --> 00:39:23,719 Hey, Brad, isn't that a... 943 00:39:27,489 --> 00:39:29,657 - (TREE CRACKING) - (CHAINSAW WHIRRING) 944 00:39:33,427 --> 00:39:34,663 Hold it, hold it! 945 00:39:35,563 --> 00:39:37,199 MEGAN: Timber! 946 00:39:39,168 --> 00:39:41,668 (LAUGHS) Wow! 947 00:39:41,670 --> 00:39:44,070 Brad, you cut down a cell phone tower. 948 00:39:44,072 --> 00:39:46,072 Why'd you cut down a cell phone tower? 949 00:39:46,074 --> 00:39:48,174 - (PHONE BEEPS) - No bars? No bars? 950 00:39:48,176 --> 00:39:49,777 (SCREAMS) 951 00:39:50,878 --> 00:39:52,378 - KURT: That was excellent! - Get up. 952 00:39:52,380 --> 00:39:54,512 - You really stuck that landing, man. - Would you get up? 953 00:39:54,514 --> 00:39:56,282 I'd give you a 9.2 on my card. 954 00:39:56,284 --> 00:39:58,751 - Brad, get up. - I think Brad's dead again. 955 00:39:58,753 --> 00:40:00,853 Man, you killed the poor bastard! 956 00:40:00,855 --> 00:40:02,288 Brad, don't go into the light! 957 00:40:02,290 --> 00:40:04,857 It's okay, sweetheart. El Padre will bring him back. 958 00:40:04,859 --> 00:40:06,525 - Stand clear. - I got it, all right? 959 00:40:06,527 --> 00:40:08,126 It's your fault we're even out here. 960 00:40:08,128 --> 00:40:10,230 You're getting in our heads and starting static between me and Brad. 961 00:40:10,232 --> 00:40:12,898 (SCOFFS) There's plenty of static between you and Brad already. 962 00:40:12,900 --> 00:40:15,668 And you know what? Deep down, you want him dead, don't you? 963 00:40:15,670 --> 00:40:17,003 You can say it. 964 00:40:17,005 --> 00:40:19,072 We all want him dead. I want him dead. Everybody does. 965 00:40:19,074 --> 00:40:20,540 - What? - Come on, admit it. 966 00:40:20,542 --> 00:40:23,041 Why don't you admit why you invited yourself to Christmas? 967 00:40:23,043 --> 00:40:24,576 Well, why don't you tell me, smart guy? 968 00:40:24,578 --> 00:40:26,112 'Cause you knew I was back here trying to be a good dad, 969 00:40:26,114 --> 00:40:28,246 be around for my kids the way you never were for me. 970 00:40:28,248 --> 00:40:30,250 That's why you want to crap all over it. 971 00:40:30,252 --> 00:40:31,654 - Get up, Brad! - (GASPS) 972 00:40:32,987 --> 00:40:34,520 Oh, my God, what happened? 973 00:40:34,522 --> 00:40:36,355 You cut down a cell phone tower, Brad. 974 00:40:36,357 --> 00:40:37,791 You know, you're right. 975 00:40:37,793 --> 00:40:39,294 I did invite myself to Christmas. 976 00:40:40,427 --> 00:40:41,864 But that's because you never do. 977 00:40:43,098 --> 00:40:44,630 (BRAD GROANS) 978 00:40:44,632 --> 00:40:46,799 I feel like I died again. Did I die again? 979 00:40:46,801 --> 00:40:48,237 A little bit. Come on. 980 00:40:51,906 --> 00:40:53,840 Okay. Our report's all squared away. 981 00:40:53,842 --> 00:40:55,574 Yimmy, Bill, thank you guys so much 982 00:40:55,576 --> 00:40:57,076 for the understanding. We really appreciate it. 983 00:40:57,078 --> 00:40:59,545 BRAD: I'm so sorry. I'm truly embarrassed. 984 00:40:59,547 --> 00:41:01,681 BILL: No, hey. It was an honest mistake. 985 00:41:01,683 --> 00:41:03,181 YIMMY: Okay, you're all set. 986 00:41:03,183 --> 00:41:05,886 BILL: Okay, We'd better get back to the site and lock it down. 987 00:41:05,888 --> 00:41:08,688 Hold on one second. 988 00:41:08,690 --> 00:41:11,724 Is there any way we could do better than $20,000? 989 00:41:11,726 --> 00:41:14,293 Can't you reuse some of the antenna equipment? 990 00:41:14,295 --> 00:41:17,896 Sorry, no. These old 4G units are obsolete already. 991 00:41:17,898 --> 00:41:19,866 That's why you're getting this one so cheap! 992 00:41:19,868 --> 00:41:21,768 - It looks really nice, though. - It sure does. 993 00:41:21,770 --> 00:41:24,503 Hey, guys, keep it up, it looks great. Happy Holidays. 994 00:41:24,505 --> 00:41:26,038 Happy Christmas, guys. Thanks. 995 00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:29,375 Please tell me you did not just spend $20,000 on a Christmas tree? 996 00:41:29,377 --> 00:41:32,114 Twenty thousand dollars. "Can you hear me now?" 997 00:41:33,248 --> 00:41:34,483 You want some eggnog? 998 00:41:37,485 --> 00:41:39,451 - Mmm. Yummy. - Hey! 999 00:41:39,453 --> 00:41:40,987 - I want some! - Me, too! 1000 00:41:40,989 --> 00:41:42,788 Now, girls, that's a grown-up drink. 1001 00:41:42,790 --> 00:41:44,757 Yes. Thank you, Karen. 1002 00:41:44,759 --> 00:41:46,525 So we're only gonna have one. 1003 00:41:46,527 --> 00:41:47,793 SARA: What? No, no, no! 1004 00:41:47,795 --> 00:41:49,798 There's rum in there, so not any. 1005 00:41:50,165 --> 00:41:51,166 BOTH: Aw! 1006 00:41:52,801 --> 00:41:54,634 Are you writing about me? 1007 00:41:54,636 --> 00:41:56,136 All right. Somebody want to plug her in? 1008 00:41:56,138 --> 00:41:57,339 Yeah, I got it. 1009 00:41:59,239 --> 00:42:00,375 DYLAN: Cool! 1010 00:42:01,476 --> 00:42:03,045 That's weird. 1011 00:42:05,746 --> 00:42:06,949 DYLAN: Wow! 1012 00:42:22,663 --> 00:42:23,965 What do you think? 1013 00:42:25,299 --> 00:42:26,632 It's so pretty. 1014 00:42:26,634 --> 00:42:29,168 Well, it ought to be at 1,200 bucks a foot. 1015 00:42:29,170 --> 00:42:31,469 Dad, we're lighting the tree! 1016 00:42:31,471 --> 00:42:32,505 Where's my dad? 1017 00:42:32,507 --> 00:42:34,607 Yeah, I thought it was a little quiet around here. 1018 00:42:34,609 --> 00:42:36,175 - Pop-Pop? - Don? 1019 00:42:36,177 --> 00:42:37,212 Pop-Pop? 1020 00:42:38,346 --> 00:42:39,815 Is he still outside? 1021 00:42:42,817 --> 00:42:44,852 BRAD: Dad! 1022 00:42:45,619 --> 00:42:47,089 Dad? 1023 00:42:48,123 --> 00:42:49,191 Dad? 1024 00:42:49,757 --> 00:42:51,391 DON: Brad! 1025 00:42:51,393 --> 00:42:53,159 Dad! Where are you? 1026 00:42:53,161 --> 00:42:55,628 - I found him! Where are you? - DON: I don't know. 1027 00:42:55,630 --> 00:42:57,529 - Are you hurt? - DON: Oh, no, no! 1028 00:42:57,531 --> 00:43:00,433 No, I just can't quite get up. 1029 00:43:00,435 --> 00:43:01,866 (PANTING) Oh! 1030 00:43:01,868 --> 00:43:03,503 Dad, don't move. 1031 00:43:03,505 --> 00:43:05,337 There's a pack of wolves on you. 1032 00:43:05,339 --> 00:43:07,239 - DON: Is that what it is? - Yeah. 1033 00:43:07,241 --> 00:43:09,507 I can feel something tugging at my trousers. 1034 00:43:09,509 --> 00:43:12,279 - What color are they, Brad? - They're gray wolves. 1035 00:43:12,281 --> 00:43:14,480 DON: That'll be Canis lupus. They're dangerous. 1036 00:43:14,482 --> 00:43:17,049 BRAD: Really? They look like you could just reach out and pet them. 1037 00:43:17,051 --> 00:43:18,451 I kind of want to pet them, Dad. 1038 00:43:18,453 --> 00:43:21,221 Now, Brad. Don't make eye contact with the alpha wolf. 1039 00:43:21,223 --> 00:43:23,688 I already did! Right in the eyes. 1040 00:43:23,690 --> 00:43:25,190 DON: Don't show any fear. 1041 00:43:25,192 --> 00:43:27,293 I don't want to watch the wolves eat you! 1042 00:43:27,295 --> 00:43:29,496 DON: Breathe deep and pull yourself together. 1043 00:43:29,498 --> 00:43:31,030 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 1044 00:43:31,032 --> 00:43:32,034 Hut! 1045 00:43:34,235 --> 00:43:36,034 Hut! Hurt! 1046 00:43:36,036 --> 00:43:37,804 Are you saying "hut" or "hurt"? 1047 00:43:37,806 --> 00:43:39,304 Dad, what happened? 1048 00:43:39,306 --> 00:43:42,608 You know, I saw the nicest tree a ways off, 1049 00:43:42,610 --> 00:43:44,710 and I got a little off course. 1050 00:43:44,712 --> 00:43:47,813 I tried to call you, but all of a sudden my signal dropped! 1051 00:43:47,815 --> 00:43:48,880 Really? 1052 00:43:48,882 --> 00:43:50,116 I tried to find my way back, 1053 00:43:50,118 --> 00:43:53,085 but at some point I lost consciousness. 1054 00:43:53,087 --> 00:43:56,556 That's about when the wolves must have come across me. 1055 00:43:56,558 --> 00:43:57,790 It's all right, fellas. 1056 00:43:57,792 --> 00:43:59,927 You didn't have to go to any trouble. It's all good. 1057 00:44:05,799 --> 00:44:08,833 I'm sorry for all the hugs. 1058 00:44:08,835 --> 00:44:10,302 I kind of don't want to let go. 1059 00:44:10,304 --> 00:44:13,505 I almost thought I'd lost you out there to those nasty wolves. 1060 00:44:13,507 --> 00:44:15,474 Do you have any idea how much I love you? 1061 00:44:15,476 --> 00:44:19,045 Well, of course I do. You tweet about it every day. 1062 00:44:19,047 --> 00:44:21,715 You know how much I love you, too, don't you? 1063 00:44:21,717 --> 00:44:24,319 - Your answer is right in here. - (GASPS) 1064 00:44:24,987 --> 00:44:26,518 I can see it! 1065 00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:27,753 (SCOFFS) 1066 00:44:27,755 --> 00:44:30,090 Okay, now that everyone is accounted for, 1067 00:44:30,092 --> 00:44:33,826 can we please talk about who is paying for that monstrosity? 1068 00:44:33,828 --> 00:44:36,695 Well, you know, it was Dusty's idea to cut down the tree. 1069 00:44:36,697 --> 00:44:39,364 Yeah, and it was your idea to cut down the cell phone tower, Brad. 1070 00:44:39,366 --> 00:44:41,699 Great, so as per usual we get stuck paying. 1071 00:44:41,701 --> 00:44:44,070 - Wait, what does that mean? - I think it's a nice tree. 1072 00:44:44,072 --> 00:44:46,038 I don't know. Dylan's retainer? Megan's flute? 1073 00:44:46,040 --> 00:44:48,074 What about Tae Kwon Do that you signed them up for 1074 00:44:48,076 --> 00:44:49,407 and didn't even ask us about? 1075 00:44:49,409 --> 00:44:51,978 Yes, and who paid for the trip to the aquarium last week? 1076 00:44:51,980 --> 00:44:53,212 It's a really nice tree. 1077 00:44:53,214 --> 00:44:54,947 So now we're keeping score, huh? 1078 00:44:54,949 --> 00:44:57,016 Well, who paid for the parking and bought each one of them a blowup orca? 1079 00:44:57,018 --> 00:44:59,152 After we told them they couldn't have a blowup orca! 1080 00:44:59,154 --> 00:45:01,353 Yeah, because you were too cheap to buy them a blowup orca! 1081 00:45:01,355 --> 00:45:03,755 Who crushed my car with a snow blower? You did, Brad. 1082 00:45:03,757 --> 00:45:05,056 Who crushed my car with a motorcycle? 1083 00:45:05,058 --> 00:45:06,391 Hello! You again! 1084 00:45:06,393 --> 00:45:07,259 DON: Hey! 1085 00:45:07,261 --> 00:45:08,726 It's a beautiful tree! 1086 00:45:08,728 --> 00:45:11,230 It's beautiful, all right? 1087 00:45:11,232 --> 00:45:13,502 BRAD: Okay, yeah. Dad's right. 1088 00:45:14,502 --> 00:45:16,103 It's a beautiful tree. 1089 00:45:17,871 --> 00:45:19,739 KURT: Whoa! 1090 00:45:19,741 --> 00:45:22,708 Don, I'm sorry, I don't think I'm gonna be able to save the foot. 1091 00:45:22,710 --> 00:45:23,909 Yeah, that baby's coming off. 1092 00:45:23,911 --> 00:45:25,811 I'll need some morphine and a bread knife. 1093 00:45:25,813 --> 00:45:27,179 Brad, hold him down. 1094 00:45:27,181 --> 00:45:29,315 (LAUGHS) Oh, no. That's just my feet. 1095 00:45:29,317 --> 00:45:31,382 It's the mail carrier's curse. 1096 00:45:31,384 --> 00:45:33,719 Back when I used to sleep with your mom, 1097 00:45:33,721 --> 00:45:38,224 I once scratched her leg so bad with a piece of rogue heel skin, 1098 00:45:38,226 --> 00:45:39,893 it actually drew blood. 1099 00:45:39,895 --> 00:45:42,297 What do you mean, used to sleep with Ginny? 1100 00:45:42,596 --> 00:45:44,295 What? 1101 00:45:44,297 --> 00:45:47,366 Oh. We sleep in separate bedrooms. 1102 00:45:47,368 --> 00:45:50,503 You know how badly I snore, Brad. 1103 00:45:50,505 --> 00:45:52,471 Boy, that is inspiring! 1104 00:45:52,473 --> 00:45:56,544 You know? The way you're always so considerate to the other person. 1105 00:45:57,279 --> 00:45:58,944 KURT: Ugh. 1106 00:45:58,946 --> 00:46:01,148 I really want to take this foot off. 1107 00:46:01,650 --> 00:46:02,651 (SNORING) 1108 00:46:10,458 --> 00:46:11,657 DUSTY: Hey, sweetie. 1109 00:46:11,659 --> 00:46:13,192 You know, you might want to close your window. 1110 00:46:13,194 --> 00:46:14,661 You know, since it's winter? 1111 00:46:14,663 --> 00:46:16,029 You're not my dad. 1112 00:46:16,031 --> 00:46:18,364 You know, I appreciate you reminding me of that every few hours. 1113 00:46:18,366 --> 00:46:19,665 But, you know, we're not the only people here, 1114 00:46:19,667 --> 00:46:22,501 so maybe we set the thermostat to like 75? 1115 00:46:22,503 --> 00:46:24,704 I mean, that's still really toasty, right? 1116 00:46:24,706 --> 00:46:25,737 85. 1117 00:46:25,739 --> 00:46:28,940 Okay, well, what if I counter you at like 78? 1118 00:46:28,942 --> 00:46:31,476 And then you negotiate with me, you come back at like 83, 1119 00:46:31,478 --> 00:46:33,145 and then maybe we settle at like 80. 1120 00:46:33,147 --> 00:46:34,846 - What do you say to that? - 81. 1121 00:46:34,848 --> 00:46:36,315 Deal! 1122 00:46:36,317 --> 00:46:38,717 Look at that. The two of us are starting to see eye to eye. 1123 00:46:38,719 --> 00:46:40,353 Thank you, sweetie. 1124 00:46:40,355 --> 00:46:41,621 Thank God. 1125 00:46:41,623 --> 00:46:44,590 There's Brad with some makeup cocoa for being such a jerk. 1126 00:46:44,592 --> 00:46:46,159 Thank you. 1127 00:46:46,161 --> 00:46:48,795 - Brad! What are you doing? - (GROANS) Oh, God. 1128 00:46:48,797 --> 00:46:50,063 (SCREAMS) 1129 00:46:50,065 --> 00:46:51,931 - Why would you do that? - Look what you made me do! 1130 00:46:51,933 --> 00:46:53,366 - I didn't do anything. - I didn't make you do it! 1131 00:46:53,368 --> 00:46:54,666 I thought you were bringing me hot makeup cocoa 1132 00:46:54,668 --> 00:46:56,134 and you just, like, threw it all over yourself. 1133 00:46:56,136 --> 00:46:57,436 You almost burned me, Brad! 1134 00:46:57,438 --> 00:46:59,672 - I wasn't bringing you makeup cocoa. - Why not? 1135 00:46:59,674 --> 00:47:01,407 I would've said, "Here, bud, here's some makeup cocoa." 1136 00:47:01,409 --> 00:47:03,576 - I've been waiting for my makeup cocoa. - I didn't know that! 1137 00:47:03,578 --> 00:47:06,148 If I knew you wanted makeup cocoa, I would've... 1138 00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:07,614 81! 1139 00:47:07,616 --> 00:47:08,547 No, no, don't touch that! 1140 00:47:08,549 --> 00:47:09,715 I talked her down from the high 80s. 1141 00:47:09,717 --> 00:47:11,483 I'm making progress with her. This is good. 1142 00:47:11,485 --> 00:47:12,918 I thought you had your house in order. 1143 00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:14,154 Look, don't you see? 1144 00:47:14,156 --> 00:47:15,554 We're doing exactly what he wants. 1145 00:47:15,556 --> 00:47:16,855 We're letting things out of the harbor! 1146 00:47:16,857 --> 00:47:18,157 - So you are harboring. - Of course I'm harboring! 1147 00:47:18,159 --> 00:47:19,491 And so are you. 1148 00:47:19,493 --> 00:47:21,594 Harboring was working just fine before he showed up. 1149 00:47:21,596 --> 00:47:23,195 Let's get everything back in the harbor 1150 00:47:23,197 --> 00:47:25,764 and let's harbor it all back in and close up the harbor. 1151 00:47:25,766 --> 00:47:26,933 I don't know if I can! 1152 00:47:26,935 --> 00:47:28,800 Remember you said let's put the focus back on the kids? 1153 00:47:28,802 --> 00:47:30,471 That was a great idea! 1154 00:47:31,404 --> 00:47:34,672 - Fine. Harbor's closed. - Good. 1155 00:47:34,674 --> 00:47:36,742 But we're going halfsies on the cell tower. 1156 00:47:36,744 --> 00:47:38,545 Fine, halfsies on the cell tower. 1157 00:47:38,547 --> 00:47:40,215 Brad, are you okay? 1158 00:47:41,616 --> 00:47:42,648 Yeah. 1159 00:47:42,650 --> 00:47:45,217 - Did you make tee-tee in bed? - No, it's cocoa. 1160 00:47:45,219 --> 00:47:47,186 Did your cocoa make you tee-tee in bed? 1161 00:47:47,188 --> 00:47:48,753 You're sleepwalking. Go back to sleep. 1162 00:47:48,755 --> 00:47:51,525 The big boy doesn't have to be embarrassed. 1163 00:47:54,027 --> 00:47:56,098 How would I pee upwards? 1164 00:47:57,766 --> 00:47:59,634 (ROCKABILLY MUSIC PLAYING) 1165 00:48:00,601 --> 00:48:01,869 7 and a half. 13. 1166 00:48:08,042 --> 00:48:09,244 (EXCLAIMS) 1167 00:48:10,177 --> 00:48:11,311 - Pretty good. - Yeah. 1168 00:48:11,313 --> 00:48:12,478 Better than before. 1169 00:48:12,480 --> 00:48:14,182 Yeah, the skip was really cool. 1170 00:48:15,616 --> 00:48:18,418 Hey. Do you mind? Bowler's etiquette. 1171 00:48:18,420 --> 00:48:20,451 - What do you mean? - It means you're crowding me. 1172 00:48:20,453 --> 00:48:22,356 What? You can't bowl with me here? 1173 00:48:26,060 --> 00:48:27,328 That sounded like a strike. 1174 00:48:33,768 --> 00:48:35,237 How's your hearing? 1175 00:48:36,371 --> 00:48:38,438 - Dylan, come on, buddy, you're up! - All right. 1176 00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:41,273 Let's go. Hey, come on. You can do this, okay? 1177 00:48:41,275 --> 00:48:43,942 Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's with the kiddie stuff? 1178 00:48:43,944 --> 00:48:45,244 - What? The rails? - Yeah. 1179 00:48:45,246 --> 00:48:47,045 It's how the kids learn how to bowl, Dad. 1180 00:48:47,047 --> 00:48:48,915 You learn by fearing the gutter. 1181 00:48:48,917 --> 00:48:50,616 Like in life, Dusty. 1182 00:48:50,618 --> 00:48:54,286 Now, Kurt. The rails help a young bowler build a positive self-image. 1183 00:48:54,288 --> 00:48:57,255 Dylan, come here. 1184 00:48:57,257 --> 00:48:59,190 Do you want to bowl with those sissy rails up, 1185 00:48:59,192 --> 00:49:01,595 or do you want to stand and bowl like a man? 1186 00:49:02,864 --> 00:49:04,163 I don't need the rails, I guess. 1187 00:49:04,165 --> 00:49:05,463 Attaboy! I'm proud of you, kid. 1188 00:49:05,465 --> 00:49:07,366 Hey, I'm proud of you too, big guy, all right? 1189 00:49:07,368 --> 00:49:09,302 BRAD: Dylan's going without the rails. 1190 00:49:09,304 --> 00:49:11,770 (GASPS) No rails? Whoo! All right, Dylan! 1191 00:49:11,772 --> 00:49:14,105 BRAD: Don't be afraid to release it high. 1192 00:49:14,107 --> 00:49:15,376 Here we go. 1193 00:49:16,310 --> 00:49:17,944 BRAD: Good try. 1194 00:49:17,946 --> 00:49:20,445 When he's up there with the tears and "I suck at everything" business, 1195 00:49:20,447 --> 00:49:22,280 that's on you, Mr. School of Hard Knocks. 1196 00:49:22,282 --> 00:49:23,882 Hey, better than him living in your basement 1197 00:49:23,884 --> 00:49:25,453 in 20 years, Mr. Sissy Rails. 1198 00:49:29,424 --> 00:49:30,889 Come on, buddy. Give it another shot. 1199 00:49:30,891 --> 00:49:32,927 Okay. New start, new beginning. Here we go. 1200 00:49:33,860 --> 00:49:34,862 (GRUNTS) 1201 00:49:35,830 --> 00:49:37,498 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 1202 00:49:38,132 --> 00:49:39,433 Yay! 1203 00:49:40,902 --> 00:49:42,270 - Oh, yeah. - (WHOOPS) 1204 00:49:48,141 --> 00:49:49,344 (GRUNTS) 1205 00:49:53,114 --> 00:49:55,681 Are we certain he understands the game? 1206 00:49:55,683 --> 00:49:58,284 He seems to almost be trying to put it in the gutter. 1207 00:49:58,286 --> 00:49:59,955 I know. He needs to get more height on the ball. 1208 00:50:10,163 --> 00:50:11,366 (GRUNTS) 1209 00:50:15,668 --> 00:50:18,639 I hate this frickin' game! It's so frickin' stupid! 1210 00:50:20,206 --> 00:50:21,773 Hey, everybody, check it out! 1211 00:50:21,775 --> 00:50:23,808 This kid's about to bowl a perfect zero. 1212 00:50:23,810 --> 00:50:24,812 Hey, mind your business! 1213 00:50:26,913 --> 00:50:29,213 Hey, how do you think this is gonna make him feel about himself? 1214 00:50:29,215 --> 00:50:31,083 Well, this is character building. 1215 00:50:31,085 --> 00:50:33,085 Even the ridicule. 1216 00:50:33,087 --> 00:50:34,721 - Come on, bud. - Come on, Dylan! 1217 00:50:34,723 --> 00:50:37,021 - (CROWD GASPS) - It's okay. 1218 00:50:37,023 --> 00:50:38,891 I suck at everything! 1219 00:50:38,893 --> 00:50:40,962 I quit, I quit! 1220 00:50:41,763 --> 00:50:44,366 Hey. Hey, kid, listen. 1221 00:50:46,134 --> 00:50:49,302 We Mayron men might not always show up. 1222 00:50:49,304 --> 00:50:51,369 I mean, we want to show up, we intend to, 1223 00:50:51,371 --> 00:50:53,371 but sometimes, we get trashed the night before, 1224 00:50:53,373 --> 00:50:54,840 or we wreck a speedboat, 1225 00:50:54,842 --> 00:50:57,576 or hook up with some Emirates flight attendants 1226 00:50:57,578 --> 00:51:00,581 and somehow end up on a redeye to Dubai. 1227 00:51:01,148 --> 00:51:02,648 You know what I mean. 1228 00:51:02,650 --> 00:51:04,683 The point is, we may not always show up, 1229 00:51:04,685 --> 00:51:07,719 but when we do, we finish what we start. 1230 00:51:07,721 --> 00:51:09,990 Now you get up there and grab those balls. 1231 00:51:15,529 --> 00:51:16,831 DUSTY: Come on, you got this. 1232 00:51:20,701 --> 00:51:21,703 (CROWD CHEERING) 1233 00:51:25,605 --> 00:51:27,105 Go, bro! 1234 00:51:27,107 --> 00:51:28,976 I'll take that. 1235 00:51:29,743 --> 00:51:30,844 I'll cover that. 1236 00:51:33,281 --> 00:51:34,849 Come on, honey! 1237 00:51:35,884 --> 00:51:37,918 - Come on, buddy. - You can do it, kid. 1238 00:51:50,732 --> 00:51:52,333 Please. Please. 1239 00:52:04,311 --> 00:52:06,413 (ALL CHEERING) 1240 00:52:08,382 --> 00:52:09,584 Whoo! I did it! 1241 00:52:11,886 --> 00:52:14,286 Thanks for believing in me, El Padre! 1242 00:52:14,288 --> 00:52:17,125 You bet, buddy! I knew you had it in you! 1243 00:52:19,159 --> 00:52:21,696 You're a winner! You're a winner! 1244 00:52:23,697 --> 00:52:24,699 I did it! 1245 00:52:28,469 --> 00:52:30,538 (CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING) 1246 00:52:32,440 --> 00:52:33,706 Hey, where were you guys? 1247 00:52:33,708 --> 00:52:35,074 We're almost at the front of the line here. 1248 00:52:35,076 --> 00:52:37,775 We were at the Starbucks checking out the local talent. 1249 00:52:37,777 --> 00:52:40,279 Cute little number at the next table was giving this one the eye. 1250 00:52:40,281 --> 00:52:43,215 And El Padre got a phone number from the lady who made the coffees. 1251 00:52:43,217 --> 00:52:44,916 We got free ones! 1252 00:52:44,918 --> 00:52:45,920 (KURT CHUCKLES) 1253 00:52:46,888 --> 00:52:49,855 - I drink coffee now. - What? Get in here. 1254 00:52:49,857 --> 00:52:50,857 Big jump! 1255 00:52:50,859 --> 00:52:53,358 SANTA: Welcome to the North Pole! 1256 00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:56,061 (GUNFIRE ON IPAD) 1257 00:52:56,063 --> 00:52:58,931 Hey, honey, are you sure you don't want to go see Santa with the boys? 1258 00:52:58,933 --> 00:53:00,534 You were so excited. 1259 00:53:02,270 --> 00:53:04,572 Mom, Santa is so lame. 1260 00:53:05,440 --> 00:53:07,708 - Come on. - He can hear you, you know! 1261 00:53:09,409 --> 00:53:11,876 You know, I'm sorry... 1262 00:53:11,878 --> 00:53:15,348 My daughter thinks that your daughter is amazing. 1263 00:53:15,350 --> 00:53:17,118 Oh, that's sweet. 1264 00:53:18,351 --> 00:53:20,453 Which is cute, you're right, 1265 00:53:20,455 --> 00:53:22,954 but sometimes when Adrianna does certain things, 1266 00:53:22,956 --> 00:53:25,993 then Megan thinks that it's okay to do it because you said that... 1267 00:53:31,197 --> 00:53:32,931 Oh, my God. 1268 00:53:32,933 --> 00:53:34,699 Are you really stealing right now? 1269 00:53:34,701 --> 00:53:36,500 Sometimes I shoplift a little bit. 1270 00:53:36,502 --> 00:53:38,804 It's exciting! 1271 00:53:38,806 --> 00:53:41,607 No! I mean... Okay, yeah, it's a little exciting. 1272 00:53:41,609 --> 00:53:43,507 My heart's really beating out of my chest. 1273 00:53:43,509 --> 00:53:45,643 What if we get caught? You got to put it back! 1274 00:53:45,645 --> 00:53:46,878 You're so obedient. 1275 00:53:46,880 --> 00:53:48,780 You're always following the rules, you know. 1276 00:53:48,782 --> 00:53:49,681 Come on, Sara. 1277 00:53:49,683 --> 00:53:51,150 Have a little fun with me. Relax. 1278 00:53:51,152 --> 00:53:53,186 I mean, I would love to have a little fun with you, 1279 00:53:53,188 --> 00:53:55,820 but I just want you to know, I am not obedient, okay? 1280 00:53:55,822 --> 00:53:58,456 - Then put this in your pants. - No. No, thank you. 1281 00:53:58,458 --> 00:54:00,726 And don't touch my boobs. It's weird. 1282 00:54:00,728 --> 00:54:03,329 Stop it! I'm not going to shoplift! 1283 00:54:03,331 --> 00:54:05,297 - Why not? - Because... 1284 00:54:05,299 --> 00:54:07,366 Because you're about to see why. 1285 00:54:07,368 --> 00:54:08,967 - Pardon me, miss? - Yes? 1286 00:54:08,969 --> 00:54:11,136 - Is this woman bothering you? - What? 1287 00:54:11,138 --> 00:54:15,007 She's a little judgmental, but she's fine. Thank you. 1288 00:54:15,009 --> 00:54:16,543 No worries. 1289 00:54:24,185 --> 00:54:25,784 Welcome to the North Pole! 1290 00:54:25,786 --> 00:54:27,953 And what do you want for Christmas? 1291 00:54:27,955 --> 00:54:28,956 (SQUEALING) 1292 00:54:34,228 --> 00:54:35,661 Oh, I didn't miss it. Hi! 1293 00:54:35,663 --> 00:54:37,929 Right there. This is a great shot. 1294 00:54:37,931 --> 00:54:40,465 - Are you getting it, honey? - Yeah, I got a good one. 1295 00:54:40,467 --> 00:54:41,836 That's a great shot. 1296 00:54:42,402 --> 00:54:43,501 BRAD: Thank you, Santa. 1297 00:54:43,503 --> 00:54:44,837 - SANTA: You're welcome! - Hi, honey. 1298 00:54:44,839 --> 00:54:46,337 What about you, big brother? 1299 00:54:46,339 --> 00:54:49,074 I'm sure you've been good. What's on your list? 1300 00:54:49,076 --> 00:54:51,110 DYLAN: I kind of want 1301 00:54:51,112 --> 00:54:52,511 a 20-gauge shotgun, 1302 00:54:52,513 --> 00:54:54,246 so I can go turkey hunting with my El Padre! 1303 00:54:54,248 --> 00:54:55,913 What the heck? Where'd he come up with that? 1304 00:54:55,915 --> 00:54:57,148 Did he just ask for a firearm? 1305 00:54:57,150 --> 00:54:59,317 Sure did! 20-gauge. Kid knows his guns. 1306 00:54:59,319 --> 00:55:01,152 Kurt, we've already been through this. Dusty and I... 1307 00:55:01,154 --> 00:55:03,154 Yeah, it is final. That's it. It's not happening. 1308 00:55:03,156 --> 00:55:05,324 Really? Because I don't remember being part of that discussion. 1309 00:55:05,326 --> 00:55:08,994 Or am I just some little obedient wife who does whatever the men folk say? 1310 00:55:08,996 --> 00:55:11,096 Yeah, that doesn't seem quite fair to me. 1311 00:55:11,098 --> 00:55:11,963 Oh, piss off, Kurt. 1312 00:55:11,965 --> 00:55:13,965 Honey, he's talking about a gun. 1313 00:55:13,967 --> 00:55:16,668 If I may, can I just 1314 00:55:16,670 --> 00:55:20,072 have a word with my grandson? 1315 00:55:20,074 --> 00:55:23,775 I just want you to fully understand what you're asking for. 1316 00:55:23,777 --> 00:55:27,279 To take a gun into the wilderness, 1317 00:55:27,281 --> 00:55:29,848 find an animal living free, 1318 00:55:29,850 --> 00:55:32,050 and take away its life. 1319 00:55:32,052 --> 00:55:34,154 So that it can never breathe or run 1320 00:55:35,089 --> 00:55:37,922 or play ever again. 1321 00:55:37,924 --> 00:55:40,025 Now, is that what you really want? 1322 00:55:40,027 --> 00:55:41,759 Yes. 1323 00:55:41,761 --> 00:55:44,262 - No. I don't want to do that. - Ah. 1324 00:55:44,264 --> 00:55:46,398 You have a good heart, Dylan. 1325 00:55:46,400 --> 00:55:48,266 I'll do it! I'll kill a turkey! 1326 00:55:48,268 --> 00:55:50,003 Can I shoot one? Please? 1327 00:55:51,038 --> 00:55:53,304 I'll have one shotgun, please, Santa. 1328 00:55:53,306 --> 00:55:55,107 And gobs and gobs of bullets. 1329 00:55:55,109 --> 00:55:57,275 No, no, no, cupcake. No, I'm sorry. 1330 00:55:57,277 --> 00:56:01,215 No, the men do the hunting. You ladies cook what we kill. 1331 00:56:01,581 --> 00:56:02,784 Excuse me? 1332 00:56:04,351 --> 00:56:06,351 Yeah, excuse you? 1333 00:56:06,353 --> 00:56:08,353 Here, turkey, turkey, turkey! 1334 00:56:08,355 --> 00:56:09,587 Be patient, sweetheart. 1335 00:56:09,589 --> 00:56:10,822 The decoys are right around the corner. 1336 00:56:10,824 --> 00:56:12,123 KURT: This is nice, huh, Dust? 1337 00:56:12,125 --> 00:56:14,893 You and me, the fresh air. Just like old times. 1338 00:56:14,895 --> 00:56:16,360 What do you mean "just like old times"? 1339 00:56:16,362 --> 00:56:17,663 You only took me once, Dad. 1340 00:56:17,665 --> 00:56:18,831 DON: Jeez, I don't know. 1341 00:56:18,833 --> 00:56:20,866 Are you sure this is a good idea, Sara? 1342 00:56:20,868 --> 00:56:22,800 Megan is a strong independent woman. 1343 00:56:22,802 --> 00:56:24,904 If she wants to help thin the wild turkey population 1344 00:56:24,906 --> 00:56:27,105 so that they don't starve to death in the winter, 1345 00:56:27,107 --> 00:56:28,808 that is her right by the Second Amendment. 1346 00:56:28,810 --> 00:56:30,808 Boy, you bought into that real quick. 1347 00:56:30,810 --> 00:56:32,344 I mean, I think for Megan, 1348 00:56:32,346 --> 00:56:34,846 this is less about wildlife conservation and more about bloodlust. 1349 00:56:34,848 --> 00:56:37,882 Looks like somebody picked the wrong day to be a turkey. 1350 00:56:37,884 --> 00:56:40,552 KURT: Keep your elbow down and cradle the stock, okay. 1351 00:56:40,554 --> 00:56:41,619 Yeah, I get it. 1352 00:56:41,621 --> 00:56:43,288 Can I shoot the damn thing or not? 1353 00:56:43,290 --> 00:56:44,889 Yeah, that's the spirit. 1354 00:56:44,891 --> 00:56:46,491 DUSTY: Take a deep breath, 1355 00:56:46,493 --> 00:56:49,964 and then squeeze that trigger as you're letting it out. 1356 00:56:51,232 --> 00:56:53,197 Megan, are you sure this is what you want to do? 1357 00:56:53,199 --> 00:56:55,000 - (SHUSHES) - DON: Let's name it. 1358 00:56:55,002 --> 00:56:56,735 She's not gonna kill it if it has a name. 1359 00:56:56,737 --> 00:56:59,471 - Yes! Gertrude. - Sam? Tom? 1360 00:56:59,473 --> 00:57:00,804 Billie Holiday! No. 1361 00:57:00,806 --> 00:57:02,206 - Elijah. - Elijah! 1362 00:57:02,208 --> 00:57:04,143 - DON: Elijah, run home! - KURT: Stand your ground, kid. 1363 00:57:04,145 --> 00:57:05,009 Save yourself, Elijah! 1364 00:57:05,011 --> 00:57:06,311 Take the shot, kid. Take the shot. 1365 00:57:06,313 --> 00:57:07,512 BRAD: No, Elijah has feelings! 1366 00:57:07,514 --> 00:57:08,780 Take the shot! 1367 00:57:08,782 --> 00:57:10,616 - (MEGAN SCREAMS) - (GUN FIRES) 1368 00:57:10,618 --> 00:57:11,886 Oh, God! 1369 00:57:12,252 --> 00:57:13,317 Dad! 1370 00:57:13,319 --> 00:57:15,621 Oh, my God. Honey, are you okay? 1371 00:57:15,623 --> 00:57:16,688 - BRAD: Kurt! - Dad, Dad, are you all right? 1372 00:57:16,690 --> 00:57:18,056 I'm okay. She just winged me. 1373 00:57:18,058 --> 00:57:19,625 I'm sorry, El Padre! I'm sorry. 1374 00:57:19,627 --> 00:57:22,226 That's okay, kid. I've been shot worse than this plenty of times. 1375 00:57:22,228 --> 00:57:23,996 DUSTY: Make your scarf into a tourniquet. 1376 00:57:23,998 --> 00:57:25,764 Wrap it around his shoulder. 1377 00:57:25,766 --> 00:57:27,264 Lift his legs! 1378 00:57:27,266 --> 00:57:29,436 - You'll be fine, sweetheart. - I'm gonna bleed out. 1379 00:57:37,143 --> 00:57:38,376 Wow. 1380 00:57:38,378 --> 00:57:39,610 Two for two. 1381 00:57:39,612 --> 00:57:40,880 Makes getting shot worth it. 1382 00:57:40,882 --> 00:57:42,581 Get the birds, Brad. 1383 00:57:42,583 --> 00:57:44,782 God! I don't know who this child is. 1384 00:57:44,784 --> 00:57:46,253 You get that one. 1385 00:57:52,993 --> 00:57:53,994 (SIGHS) 1386 00:57:54,728 --> 00:57:56,695 What? I know, okay? 1387 00:57:56,697 --> 00:57:58,831 It's on me. I'm the worst mom in the world. 1388 00:57:58,833 --> 00:58:02,800 I put a gun in my daughter's hand, and then she nearly killed somebody. 1389 00:58:02,802 --> 00:58:05,105 She's gonna be scarred for life. 1390 00:58:05,639 --> 00:58:06,771 MEGAN: Hi! 1391 00:58:06,773 --> 00:58:08,773 I just shot a turkey and a man. 1392 00:58:08,775 --> 00:58:10,478 Guess which one's dead. 1393 00:58:15,214 --> 00:58:18,282 Okay, fine, maybe she's a little too unscarred. 1394 00:58:18,284 --> 00:58:19,319 Jeez. 1395 00:58:24,056 --> 00:58:25,690 - You all right? - Yeah, good. 1396 00:58:25,692 --> 00:58:28,326 All right. So, listen, the doctor said everything is gonna be all right. 1397 00:58:28,328 --> 00:58:30,329 He just wants to keep you for a couple of hours 1398 00:58:30,331 --> 00:58:31,496 to watch your blood pressure. 1399 00:58:31,498 --> 00:58:33,065 I'm fine. Where's my pants? 1400 00:58:33,067 --> 00:58:35,000 Hey. I forgot. Nothing ever hurts you. 1401 00:58:35,002 --> 00:58:36,567 Why don't we just round up all the nurses? 1402 00:58:36,569 --> 00:58:37,670 We can bring them in here. 1403 00:58:37,672 --> 00:58:38,871 You could do some pushups for them, 1404 00:58:38,873 --> 00:58:40,038 maybe bench press the couch a little bit, 1405 00:58:40,040 --> 00:58:41,273 prove you're still a tough guy. 1406 00:58:41,275 --> 00:58:43,608 - Still tough enough to lick you, Junior. - (SCOFFS) 1407 00:58:43,610 --> 00:58:44,875 - Was that a scoff? - I didn't scoff. 1408 00:58:44,877 --> 00:58:46,143 Yeah, I heard you scoff just then. 1409 00:58:46,145 --> 00:58:47,378 All right, I scoffed. So what? 1410 00:58:47,380 --> 00:58:49,081 Why, because you think you can lick me, right? 1411 00:58:49,083 --> 00:58:50,882 I never said I could lick you, but I could whoop you for sure. 1412 00:58:50,884 --> 00:58:52,050 Now we're talking! 1413 00:58:52,052 --> 00:58:53,485 Come on. Best out of three falls, come on. 1414 00:58:53,487 --> 00:58:55,052 Hey, cut it out, okay? I'm not gonna wrestle an old man 1415 00:58:55,054 --> 00:58:56,889 whose ass is hanging out of his hospital gown. 1416 00:58:56,891 --> 00:58:58,223 Greco-Roman style. Best way. Come on. 1417 00:58:58,225 --> 00:59:00,558 Hey, Great Santini, I'm not gonna do this, all right? 1418 00:59:00,560 --> 00:59:02,328 - Cut it out. Get some rest. - All right. 1419 00:59:02,330 --> 00:59:03,929 Hey! 1420 00:59:03,931 --> 00:59:05,963 That's one, candy-ass. 1421 00:59:05,965 --> 00:59:07,733 Now you're gonna get whipped, old man. 1422 00:59:07,735 --> 00:59:09,003 Come on. Bring it on. 1423 00:59:10,538 --> 00:59:11,539 (THUDDING) 1424 00:59:13,973 --> 00:59:16,574 - Tap out! - Nah. I can keep going all night, kid. 1425 00:59:16,576 --> 00:59:18,911 You hear that heart rate? You can set your watch to it. 1426 00:59:18,913 --> 00:59:20,813 Yeah. 'Cause ice water only flows at one speed, huh? 1427 00:59:20,815 --> 00:59:22,581 That's right, pal. Now go to sleep. 1428 00:59:22,583 --> 00:59:25,253 You know I came in to say something nice, but now you can forget it. 1429 00:59:25,853 --> 00:59:27,186 What nice thing? 1430 00:59:27,188 --> 00:59:28,320 No. Forget it. 1431 00:59:28,322 --> 00:59:30,621 You know, when that gun went off, 1432 00:59:30,623 --> 00:59:31,790 I thought you were a goner. 1433 00:59:31,792 --> 00:59:32,991 There's something that we never say that 1434 00:59:32,993 --> 00:59:34,529 one of us should say before it's too late. 1435 00:59:35,929 --> 00:59:37,329 (BEEPING RAPIDLY) 1436 00:59:37,331 --> 00:59:38,797 Yeah? Like... Like what? 1437 00:59:38,799 --> 00:59:41,333 No, I'm not gonna say it now, but maybe you want to say something. 1438 00:59:41,335 --> 00:59:43,434 - I don't know what you're talking about. - Oh, yeah? 1439 00:59:43,436 --> 00:59:46,003 Seems like you might want to get something off your chest. 1440 00:59:46,005 --> 00:59:47,072 No. Nothing comes to mind. 1441 00:59:47,074 --> 00:59:48,306 But if you want to say something, 1442 00:59:48,308 --> 00:59:49,775 I'm not gonna stop you or anything. 1443 00:59:49,777 --> 00:59:50,842 No, I'm good. 1444 00:59:50,844 --> 00:59:52,009 But you might wanna unburden yourself 1445 00:59:52,011 --> 00:59:53,378 before you bust that frickin' machine. 1446 00:59:53,380 --> 00:59:56,848 Yeah. Well, if I was gonna say something, and I'm not... 1447 00:59:56,850 --> 00:59:58,050 What are you gonna say? 1448 00:59:58,052 --> 00:59:59,617 But if I was, I might want to tell you that I... 1449 00:59:59,619 --> 01:00:01,119 - BRAD: Hello? - (KNOCKING ON DOOR) 1450 01:00:01,121 --> 01:00:01,920 Wait, it's Brad! Don't... Don't say it! Don't say it. 1451 01:00:01,922 --> 01:00:03,054 BRAD: Knock, knock! 1452 01:00:03,056 --> 01:00:04,322 Time out on three, okay? One, two, three. 1453 01:00:04,324 --> 01:00:05,326 Hey, Brad. 1454 01:00:05,926 --> 01:00:07,125 What's going on? 1455 01:00:07,127 --> 01:00:08,927 Hey. Am I interrupting something? 1456 01:00:08,929 --> 01:00:10,596 - What? No, nothing. - No, we're fine. 1457 01:00:10,598 --> 01:00:11,795 Why are you being so weird, Brad? 1458 01:00:11,797 --> 01:00:13,431 BRAD: Just seems a little awkward in here. 1459 01:00:13,433 --> 01:00:14,666 (SNIFFS) 1460 01:00:14,668 --> 01:00:16,500 Oh, gosh. It smells like a bullfight. 1461 01:00:16,502 --> 01:00:18,103 So, look, guys, 1462 01:00:18,105 --> 01:00:20,271 I'm not here to tell you I told you so, 1463 01:00:20,273 --> 01:00:21,308 even though I did. 1464 01:00:22,074 --> 01:00:23,608 I've just been thinking that 1465 01:00:23,610 --> 01:00:25,976 we've had a lot of tensions as of late, and I thought 1466 01:00:25,978 --> 01:00:28,413 maybe we could use a Dads' Night Out. Right? 1467 01:00:28,415 --> 01:00:30,949 Yeah. So what are we thinking, Brad? 1468 01:00:30,951 --> 01:00:32,449 Strip club? 1469 01:00:32,451 --> 01:00:34,820 Even better. 1470 01:00:34,822 --> 01:00:38,623 Look, it's a cute tiny monkey on your back. 1471 01:00:38,625 --> 01:00:39,627 (ALL LAUGHING) 1472 01:00:42,395 --> 01:00:45,432 Give us all the money in the drawers and all the lollipops. 1473 01:00:47,701 --> 01:00:49,433 (LAUGHING MOCKINGLY) 1474 01:00:49,435 --> 01:00:51,138 Guys, I can't keep up. 1475 01:01:00,647 --> 01:01:01,846 I'm gonna hit the head. 1476 01:01:01,848 --> 01:01:03,648 - I'll get us a couple more drinks. - KURT: Sure. 1477 01:01:03,650 --> 01:01:06,250 Hey, am I crazy or are you guys having a good time? 1478 01:01:06,252 --> 01:01:07,853 I don't know. I think we kind of are. 1479 01:01:07,855 --> 01:01:10,822 - That's wonderful, Dusty! - Thanks, Don. 1480 01:01:10,824 --> 01:01:12,757 I told you we'd rub off on you two. 1481 01:01:12,759 --> 01:01:14,525 In this room right now, 1482 01:01:14,527 --> 01:01:17,795 there's a man who, despite his advancing years, 1483 01:01:17,797 --> 01:01:20,134 is apparently an improv ninja. 1484 01:01:20,735 --> 01:01:22,300 Brad, you didn't. 1485 01:01:22,302 --> 01:01:25,070 I did. I so did! 1486 01:01:25,072 --> 01:01:27,471 Don Whitaker, ladies and gentlemen! 1487 01:01:27,473 --> 01:01:29,940 All right. All right. 1488 01:01:29,942 --> 01:01:31,478 (PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC) 1489 01:01:32,413 --> 01:01:33,947 You are the greatest. 1490 01:01:36,083 --> 01:01:38,550 ACTRESS: Don! Let's hear it for Don! 1491 01:01:38,552 --> 01:01:40,117 We're gonna play a little "Arms Akimbo." 1492 01:01:40,119 --> 01:01:41,286 Do you know that one? 1493 01:01:41,288 --> 01:01:42,621 - Of course I do! - Awesome. 1494 01:01:42,623 --> 01:01:43,954 They're gonna love this. 1495 01:01:43,956 --> 01:01:46,891 - Can somebody do my Velcro? - Yes. 1496 01:01:46,893 --> 01:01:48,893 He's got tiny little girl arms! 1497 01:01:48,895 --> 01:01:50,427 (CROWD LAUGHING) 1498 01:01:50,429 --> 01:01:54,098 DON: Okay. We're gonna do a scene, and we need some suggestions. 1499 01:01:54,100 --> 01:01:55,800 Can you suggest an animal? 1500 01:01:55,802 --> 01:01:57,201 - MAN: Raccoon! - BRAD: A panda! 1501 01:01:57,203 --> 01:01:59,070 DON: Raccoon, good! All right. 1502 01:01:59,072 --> 01:02:01,072 And, sir, what is your profession? 1503 01:02:01,074 --> 01:02:02,473 MAN: I'm a dermatologist. 1504 01:02:02,475 --> 01:02:05,677 DON: And finally we need a human relationship. 1505 01:02:05,679 --> 01:02:06,811 Oh! Father and son! 1506 01:02:06,813 --> 01:02:08,646 A healthy father and son relationship. 1507 01:02:08,648 --> 01:02:10,250 Or how about a divorce? 1508 01:02:11,451 --> 01:02:13,418 Now you're getting in the spirit, Dusty. 1509 01:02:13,420 --> 01:02:14,753 Yes. Okay. We're taking "divorce." 1510 01:02:14,755 --> 01:02:16,020 That's all we need. Give it up! 1511 01:02:16,022 --> 01:02:17,725 That's really dark. 1512 01:02:18,525 --> 01:02:19,424 KYLE: Oh, come on, babe. 1513 01:02:19,426 --> 01:02:21,192 Just a little fun before he gets here. 1514 01:02:21,194 --> 01:02:22,427 No. Stop it. I told you, okay? 1515 01:02:22,429 --> 01:02:25,130 No canoodling until the divorce is finalized. 1516 01:02:25,132 --> 01:02:27,001 - It's not right. - Come on. 1517 01:02:27,435 --> 01:02:28,534 Knock, knock. 1518 01:02:28,536 --> 01:02:31,605 He has no idea what he's walking into! 1519 01:02:32,672 --> 01:02:34,405 You're home! 1520 01:02:34,407 --> 01:02:35,543 Yes. 1521 01:02:36,576 --> 01:02:37,712 Where were you? 1522 01:02:39,212 --> 01:02:42,346 I took our raccoon to the dermatologist. 1523 01:02:42,348 --> 01:02:43,915 He got two of the suggestions already. 1524 01:02:43,917 --> 01:02:45,416 He's on fire! 1525 01:02:45,418 --> 01:02:47,686 Aren't you even gonna address the strange man in your home? 1526 01:02:47,688 --> 01:02:50,956 Yeah, bro, don't you even want to know who I am? 1527 01:02:50,958 --> 01:02:52,690 I know who you are. 1528 01:02:52,692 --> 01:02:54,425 KYLE: Don, if you'll excuse me, 1529 01:02:54,427 --> 01:02:56,429 I think I'm gonna start giving it to your wife. 1530 01:02:56,830 --> 01:02:57,962 Shut up! 1531 01:02:57,964 --> 01:03:00,699 Just shut up with that kind of talk! 1532 01:03:00,701 --> 01:03:03,701 When we met on that flight, I was really nice to you. 1533 01:03:03,703 --> 01:03:08,105 I listened to you tell your stupid story over and over again, 1534 01:03:08,107 --> 01:03:10,476 and I complimented your hat! 1535 01:03:10,478 --> 01:03:11,479 (ALL LAUGHING) 1536 01:03:13,380 --> 01:03:16,081 - Brad, we have to stop this. - He's killing! 1537 01:03:16,083 --> 01:03:17,315 Don't you see what's happening? 1538 01:03:17,317 --> 01:03:19,317 I do. I see a room of people laughing at my father. 1539 01:03:19,319 --> 01:03:20,451 - It's amazing. - Okay. 1540 01:03:20,453 --> 01:03:23,590 - Have some water. - No, I don't want water. 1541 01:03:26,659 --> 01:03:27,925 Oh! 1542 01:03:27,927 --> 01:03:29,061 DON: I don't want water! 1543 01:03:29,063 --> 01:03:30,829 I want my wife back. 1544 01:03:30,831 --> 01:03:34,965 And I want our Sunday brunches at the Cracker Barrel. 1545 01:03:34,967 --> 01:03:37,369 Braddie, we've got to get him off the stage. 1546 01:03:37,371 --> 01:03:40,241 All you needed was somebody to listen to you, 1547 01:03:41,107 --> 01:03:43,041 and all I do is talk. 1548 01:03:43,043 --> 01:03:44,375 On and on and on. 1549 01:03:44,377 --> 01:03:48,282 When am I ever gonna learn to shut my big fat mouth? 1550 01:03:48,815 --> 01:03:49,817 Ooh. 1551 01:03:50,317 --> 01:03:51,452 Ginny. 1552 01:03:53,052 --> 01:03:54,255 Ginny. 1553 01:03:54,888 --> 01:03:56,487 My sweet Ginny. 1554 01:03:56,489 --> 01:03:59,159 Why is he using my mom's real name? 1555 01:04:01,694 --> 01:04:03,229 Hey, Dad? 1556 01:04:03,831 --> 01:04:05,566 Is this true? 1557 01:04:07,067 --> 01:04:09,070 Are you and Mom divorced? 1558 01:04:10,936 --> 01:04:13,139 I wanted to tell you, Brad. 1559 01:04:16,543 --> 01:04:19,713 Son, you're home from summer camp! 1560 01:04:21,147 --> 01:04:24,417 I don't go to summer camp, I'm a grown man. Okay? 1561 01:04:25,018 --> 01:04:26,720 (PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC) 1562 01:04:28,688 --> 01:04:31,121 Why are you laughing? I'm not part of this! Okay? 1563 01:04:31,123 --> 01:04:34,659 You are a part of this family, and you will respect your parents. 1564 01:04:34,661 --> 01:04:35,793 - Yeah. - Shut up! 1565 01:04:35,795 --> 01:04:36,893 - Brad. - Just shut up. 1566 01:04:36,895 --> 01:04:38,262 Let me out of this bit! 1567 01:04:38,264 --> 01:04:40,264 What about him? Is he still around? 1568 01:04:40,266 --> 01:04:42,166 Do I have a stepdad? 1569 01:04:42,168 --> 01:04:43,634 (CROWD LAUGHING LOUDLY) 1570 01:04:43,636 --> 01:04:47,207 Stop doing that to me! I'm a paying customer! 1571 01:04:47,674 --> 01:04:49,342 Brad, let's go. 1572 01:04:50,610 --> 01:04:52,113 Come on. 1573 01:05:00,920 --> 01:05:03,621 Will you please just go out there and talk to him? 1574 01:05:03,623 --> 01:05:07,391 He won't talk to me, and I don't blame him. 1575 01:05:07,393 --> 01:05:09,729 You know, it's not really all your fault. 1576 01:05:10,897 --> 01:05:12,730 You can't blame Dusty. 1577 01:05:12,732 --> 01:05:16,369 He couldn't have known about Ginny and me when he made that improv suggestion. 1578 01:05:18,404 --> 01:05:21,139 - You did know! - It was pretty obvious, Don. 1579 01:05:21,141 --> 01:05:22,907 A guy your age either joins an improv group 1580 01:05:22,909 --> 01:05:24,308 because his wife left him, 1581 01:05:24,310 --> 01:05:26,043 or his wife left him because he joined an improv group. 1582 01:05:26,045 --> 01:05:29,079 - So you did it on purpose? - No! Well... 1583 01:05:29,081 --> 01:05:30,748 Well, yeah. All right? I did. 1584 01:05:30,750 --> 01:05:33,083 You and Brad are all lovey-dovey and smug about your relationship. 1585 01:05:33,085 --> 01:05:34,485 I mean, you make out every chance you get. 1586 01:05:34,487 --> 01:05:36,186 Meanwhile, my dad's ditching out on me. 1587 01:05:36,188 --> 01:05:37,721 Maybe I got a little jealous, all right? 1588 01:05:37,723 --> 01:05:39,291 Look, I didn't think you were gonna freak out 1589 01:05:39,293 --> 01:05:41,625 and spill your guts to a room full of drunken skiers! 1590 01:05:41,627 --> 01:05:43,594 - Hey. What is wrong with you? - What? I didn't... 1591 01:05:43,596 --> 01:05:45,429 Go out there and fix this right now. 1592 01:05:45,431 --> 01:05:46,734 - Go! - All right. 1593 01:05:51,605 --> 01:05:53,038 Are you serious? 1594 01:05:53,040 --> 01:05:54,340 I'm keeping this. 1595 01:06:12,960 --> 01:06:13,961 (GRUNTING) 1596 01:06:16,663 --> 01:06:17,864 Are you okay? 1597 01:06:19,532 --> 01:06:20,534 Uh... 1598 01:06:21,134 --> 01:06:23,201 My parents are divorced. 1599 01:06:23,203 --> 01:06:24,605 Oh. Mine, too. 1600 01:06:24,904 --> 01:06:26,371 Sucks. 1601 01:06:26,373 --> 01:06:29,139 - Yeah. - I think it was my fault. 1602 01:06:29,141 --> 01:06:32,811 - Was yours your fault, too? - I don't know. I hope not. 1603 01:06:32,813 --> 01:06:35,212 I just found out last night. When did you find out? 1604 01:06:35,214 --> 01:06:37,949 - I was a baby. - When you were a baby? 1605 01:06:37,951 --> 01:06:40,721 Maybe it was your fault. Were you a difficult baby? 1606 01:06:41,253 --> 01:06:42,954 I don't know. 1607 01:06:42,956 --> 01:06:45,824 You know what? Your lack of specifics leads me to believe it was your fault. 1608 01:06:45,826 --> 01:06:48,525 No, no, no! You were not a difficult baby, sweetheart. 1609 01:06:48,527 --> 01:06:50,228 Brad, dude, what are you telling the kid? 1610 01:06:50,230 --> 01:06:52,563 Come on, man. I know you're upset about last night. 1611 01:06:52,565 --> 01:06:54,232 All right? I'm sorry about what happened, okay? 1612 01:06:54,234 --> 01:06:55,699 I didn't mean to give that improv suggestion. 1613 01:06:55,701 --> 01:06:57,634 It just... It just kind of slipped out. 1614 01:06:57,636 --> 01:06:58,770 (SIGHS) 1615 01:06:58,772 --> 01:07:01,206 - Know what, Dusty? It's okay. - Really? 1616 01:07:01,208 --> 01:07:02,873 - Yeah. - Thanks, Brad. 1617 01:07:02,875 --> 01:07:05,210 Look, why don't you come in and talk to Don? He's feeling a little... 1618 01:07:05,212 --> 01:07:07,414 BRAD: Oh, my gosh. I wonder who that could be? 1619 01:07:08,214 --> 01:07:09,717 What a nice truck! 1620 01:07:17,690 --> 01:07:18,757 ADRIANNA: Daddy! 1621 01:07:18,759 --> 01:07:22,592 - What are you doing here? - Come on. What am I doing? 1622 01:07:22,594 --> 01:07:24,929 I want to celebrate Christmas with my perfect little girl. 1623 01:07:24,931 --> 01:07:28,366 Don't you want to spend the holidays with your one true real dad? 1624 01:07:28,368 --> 01:07:29,733 ADRIANNA: Yeah, come on! 1625 01:07:29,735 --> 01:07:31,670 - Let's come see the cabin. - Hey, Roger. 1626 01:07:31,672 --> 01:07:32,973 It's so cool! 1627 01:07:35,275 --> 01:07:36,407 Come on, hurry. You're going too slow. 1628 01:07:36,409 --> 01:07:37,775 ROGER: I'm coming, sweetheart. 1629 01:07:37,777 --> 01:07:40,244 You invite him all the way up here just to get back at me? 1630 01:07:40,246 --> 01:07:41,547 Yeah, I did. 1631 01:07:43,350 --> 01:07:46,717 - WOMAN: Bye, Kurt! Call me! - Yeah, next time I'm in. 1632 01:07:46,719 --> 01:07:48,351 (LAUGHING) That's her dad, yeah? 1633 01:07:48,353 --> 01:07:50,588 Uh-huh. (CHUCKLES) 1634 01:07:50,590 --> 01:07:52,123 And you invited him, too, didn't you? 1635 01:07:52,125 --> 01:07:53,657 I sure did, yep. 1636 01:07:53,659 --> 01:07:58,628 I don't know what I missed, but this is getting good, boys. 1637 01:07:58,630 --> 01:08:00,864 - I like your style, Brad. - Hey, hey, hey. 1638 01:08:00,866 --> 01:08:01,868 (LAUGHING) 1639 01:08:03,603 --> 01:08:05,237 You're opening up the harbor, Brad. 1640 01:08:05,239 --> 01:08:07,771 The harbor is wide open, and it's Fleet Week! 1641 01:08:07,773 --> 01:08:10,174 All right, good. 'Cause I got a few boats that want to set sail. 1642 01:08:10,176 --> 01:08:11,275 Yeah, good. So do I. 1643 01:08:11,277 --> 01:08:12,944 You favor little Griffy over my kids. 1644 01:08:12,946 --> 01:08:14,246 What? I do not! 1645 01:08:14,248 --> 01:08:15,579 He gets to sleep in your bed all the time. 1646 01:08:15,581 --> 01:08:16,713 Megan and Dylan never get to. 1647 01:08:16,715 --> 01:08:18,416 You want them to sleep in my bed with me? 1648 01:08:18,418 --> 01:08:20,318 God, no! Don't you ever think about it! 1649 01:08:20,320 --> 01:08:21,586 I'm not thinking about it! 1650 01:08:21,588 --> 01:08:22,753 - You brought it up. - Good! You better not. 1651 01:08:22,755 --> 01:08:24,155 - BOTH: Shut up! - Hey, you shut up. 1652 01:08:24,157 --> 01:08:25,957 - You shut up! - No, you shut up! 1653 01:08:25,959 --> 01:08:28,559 Okay. Well, he's not gonna be part of that special thing we got planned tonight, 1654 01:08:28,561 --> 01:08:29,859 if that's what you're thinking. 1655 01:08:29,861 --> 01:08:31,363 Oh, yeah? So you're gonna tell Adrianna 1656 01:08:31,365 --> 01:08:32,896 that everyone's invited to that "special thing" 1657 01:08:32,898 --> 01:08:34,901 we have planned for tonight, except her dad. 1658 01:08:41,475 --> 01:08:43,643 (CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING) 1659 01:09:12,204 --> 01:09:15,739 BRAD: Hey. Five more minutes and I get to be Joseph. 1660 01:09:15,741 --> 01:09:18,609 You're not the right type to play Jesus' dad, Brad. 1661 01:09:18,611 --> 01:09:21,612 He wasn't Jesus' dad, he was Jesus' stepdad. 1662 01:09:21,614 --> 01:09:23,549 And I'm exactly the right type. 1663 01:09:24,316 --> 01:09:25,550 You'd better stop hitting me 1664 01:09:25,552 --> 01:09:26,917 with that shepherd stick, Brad. I'm warning you. 1665 01:09:26,919 --> 01:09:28,920 Brad's right. Let him be Joseph. 1666 01:09:28,922 --> 01:09:30,354 Thank you, Roger, I appreciate that. 1667 01:09:30,356 --> 01:09:31,788 It's Brad's turn, Dusty. 1668 01:09:31,790 --> 01:09:33,591 Dad, don't break character. 1669 01:09:33,593 --> 01:09:34,926 And stop trying to butter me up. 1670 01:09:34,928 --> 01:09:37,729 - Can we show some decorum? - I'm showing decorum. 1671 01:09:37,731 --> 01:09:40,032 You guys, zip it! You're gonna wake up Baby Jesus. 1672 01:09:43,536 --> 01:09:44,734 That's it. Give me the beard. 1673 01:09:44,736 --> 01:09:46,403 Don't touch my Joseph beard, Brad! 1674 01:09:46,405 --> 01:09:47,738 - Give him the beard! - Dad, stay out of it! 1675 01:09:47,740 --> 01:09:49,373 Can we have some respect for the Nativity? 1676 01:09:49,375 --> 01:09:50,742 Cut it out! 1677 01:09:50,744 --> 01:09:53,711 This is stupid. I don't even get it. 1678 01:09:53,713 --> 01:09:56,581 Why go on a trip when Mary's about to have a baby? 1679 01:09:56,583 --> 01:09:57,948 What's so damn important 1680 01:09:57,950 --> 01:10:00,251 you got to go to Bethlehem in the middle of the night? 1681 01:10:00,253 --> 01:10:02,452 There was a census, okay? We covered that in Sunday School. 1682 01:10:02,454 --> 01:10:04,624 Megan, what is going... 1683 01:10:05,525 --> 01:10:07,257 Did you get into the eggnog? 1684 01:10:07,259 --> 01:10:08,560 Hey. Who's up for some IHOP? 1685 01:10:08,562 --> 01:10:10,060 Yeah, that kid's pickled all right. 1686 01:10:10,062 --> 01:10:12,432 Mom, you're pretty. Can we go to IHOP? 1687 01:10:13,066 --> 01:10:14,265 I'm sorry, folks. 1688 01:10:14,267 --> 01:10:15,900 Having some technical difficulties. 1689 01:10:15,902 --> 01:10:19,269 Great, Dad. Now you've broken the fourth wall! 1690 01:10:19,271 --> 01:10:21,137 None of it's real, folks. 1691 01:10:21,139 --> 01:10:22,540 I want to go wait in the car. 1692 01:10:22,542 --> 01:10:24,442 Give me the keys, Brad! 1693 01:10:24,444 --> 01:10:26,644 No, I am not giving you the keys to the car, 1694 01:10:26,646 --> 01:10:28,846 because you're drunk and you're a child. 1695 01:10:28,848 --> 01:10:33,518 Nobody likes your dumb, stupid Brad voice. 1696 01:10:33,520 --> 01:10:35,386 And you smell like pumpkins! 1697 01:10:35,388 --> 01:10:37,854 - And you're a mean drunk. - Kid's got an arm. 1698 01:10:37,856 --> 01:10:40,558 Drunk nine-year-old. Real nice parenting. 1699 01:10:40,560 --> 01:10:42,129 You better watch it, Roger. 1700 01:10:43,896 --> 01:10:44,761 (CROWD GASPING) 1701 01:10:44,763 --> 01:10:46,296 Adrianna! Are you okay, sweetheart? 1702 01:10:46,298 --> 01:10:47,567 Is she okay? Is she... What is she... 1703 01:10:49,134 --> 01:10:50,534 (CHUCKLING) 1704 01:10:50,536 --> 01:10:52,470 SARA: Oh. What a shock. Now we know where Megan got the eggnog. 1705 01:10:52,472 --> 01:10:54,238 You always assume she's the bad influence. 1706 01:10:54,240 --> 01:10:56,774 Maybe your daughter plied my daughter with alcohol. 1707 01:10:56,776 --> 01:10:59,877 Maybe your daughter's that way because her mother is a shoplifter. 1708 01:10:59,879 --> 01:11:01,945 Shoplifter. 1709 01:11:01,947 --> 01:11:04,015 Sara, we've been working on the shoplifting thing, okay? 1710 01:11:04,017 --> 01:11:05,617 But that has nothing to do with Adrianna 1711 01:11:05,619 --> 01:11:06,818 being such a little nightmare all the time. 1712 01:11:06,820 --> 01:11:08,252 My daughter is not a nightmare! 1713 01:11:08,254 --> 01:11:09,386 Come on, Adrianna. 1714 01:11:09,388 --> 01:11:10,622 DUSTY: No, sweetheart, I didn't mean that. 1715 01:11:10,624 --> 01:11:12,355 - Honey! - ROGER: Hey. 1716 01:11:12,357 --> 01:11:15,025 - What'd you call my daughter? - He called her a nightmare. 1717 01:11:15,027 --> 01:11:17,228 Hey. I'm a lot of things, but I'm not a heathen. 1718 01:11:17,230 --> 01:11:18,329 Let's take this outside. 1719 01:11:18,331 --> 01:11:19,697 Yeah, let's step outside the manger. 1720 01:11:19,699 --> 01:11:20,898 He called her a nightmare. 1721 01:11:20,900 --> 01:11:23,033 - ROGER: Here we go. - DON: Now, now, boys, 1722 01:11:23,035 --> 01:11:24,702 we can't just leave! 1723 01:11:24,704 --> 01:11:27,570 Joseph and the Innkeeper rumble outside the manger! 1724 01:11:27,572 --> 01:11:29,107 Make the first move, Innkeeper. 1725 01:11:29,109 --> 01:11:30,274 Kick his ass, Joseph! 1726 01:11:30,276 --> 01:11:32,443 We are not going to do this in front of the children! 1727 01:11:32,445 --> 01:11:34,912 Now, what kind of fathers are you, anyway? 1728 01:11:34,914 --> 01:11:36,081 That's rich! 1729 01:11:36,083 --> 01:11:39,082 Coming from a guy who lies to his son for six months. 1730 01:11:39,084 --> 01:11:42,220 Maybe that's why everyone thinks your stories are so "delightful," 1731 01:11:42,222 --> 01:11:44,088 because they're all lies! 1732 01:11:44,090 --> 01:11:45,756 Sara, get the kids out of here, okay? 1733 01:11:45,758 --> 01:11:48,926 Happily. I don't want them watching this anyway. 1734 01:11:48,928 --> 01:11:50,828 Have fun, morons! 1735 01:11:50,830 --> 01:11:53,765 - Pancakes, bitches! - Do not say "bitches." 1736 01:11:53,767 --> 01:11:54,966 Kids are gone. Let's go. 1737 01:11:54,968 --> 01:11:57,202 I'm not hitting a guy dressed like Joseph. 1738 01:11:57,204 --> 01:11:58,536 The beard's off, Roger. 1739 01:11:58,538 --> 01:12:00,203 How many excuses you want to pull out, man? 1740 01:12:00,205 --> 01:12:01,271 Now it's on. 1741 01:12:01,273 --> 01:12:02,873 - You know what, Brad? - Don! 1742 01:12:02,875 --> 01:12:04,074 Yes, I lied! 1743 01:12:04,076 --> 01:12:07,278 Because whenever there's anything wrong in your life, 1744 01:12:07,280 --> 01:12:09,313 if it isn't roses and rainbows, 1745 01:12:09,315 --> 01:12:10,881 you completely fall apart. 1746 01:12:10,883 --> 01:12:12,949 I thought we had an honest relationship! 1747 01:12:12,951 --> 01:12:14,551 Oh, yeah? Brad, I bet you never told him 1748 01:12:14,553 --> 01:12:16,554 about that procedure you had last year, did you? 1749 01:12:16,556 --> 01:12:17,822 Oh, my God. What procedure? 1750 01:12:17,824 --> 01:12:20,225 It was nothing, just some benign tissue. 1751 01:12:20,227 --> 01:12:23,359 How about that? You're both a couple of lying sacks. 1752 01:12:23,361 --> 01:12:24,528 And, you! 1753 01:12:24,530 --> 01:12:25,762 From the minute you got here, 1754 01:12:25,764 --> 01:12:28,233 you've been nothing but mean and sarcastic. 1755 01:12:28,235 --> 01:12:29,567 Well, you know what, Kurt? 1756 01:12:29,569 --> 01:12:31,301 - F you! - Dad! 1757 01:12:31,303 --> 01:12:32,903 That's right. Forget you! 1758 01:12:32,905 --> 01:12:35,238 Attaboy, swami. Throwing down F words. 1759 01:12:35,240 --> 01:12:37,207 Not the F word, but an F word, and that's a good start. 1760 01:12:37,209 --> 01:12:39,344 Now, come on, give me the finger, big boy. Come on. 1761 01:12:39,346 --> 01:12:40,845 - Come on. - ROGER: Hey! Hey! 1762 01:12:40,847 --> 01:12:42,780 Are we gonna still fight or what? 1763 01:12:42,782 --> 01:12:45,049 Roger brings up a good point. Let's get the momentum back. 1764 01:12:45,051 --> 01:12:47,618 Come on, Roger. Get some! Let's get in there! 1765 01:12:47,620 --> 01:12:50,054 - Come on! - No, no, no, no, no! 1766 01:12:50,056 --> 01:12:53,925 If you lay one hand on each other, whether the kids are here or not, 1767 01:12:53,927 --> 01:12:56,726 it will negatively impact them. 1768 01:12:56,728 --> 01:12:59,199 All right. I'm not gonna lay a hand on him. 1769 01:13:01,200 --> 01:13:02,533 DON: What are you doing? 1770 01:13:02,535 --> 01:13:05,135 Oh. Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah. Snowball fight. 1771 01:13:05,137 --> 01:13:08,206 I've got some Nerf guns in the back of my car. 1772 01:13:08,208 --> 01:13:09,439 Want me to get them? 1773 01:13:09,441 --> 01:13:11,609 I pitched triple-A for the Red Sox in their farm system, Roger. 1774 01:13:11,611 --> 01:13:12,676 Don't say I didn't warn you. 1775 01:13:12,678 --> 01:13:13,880 Take your best shot. 1776 01:13:19,018 --> 01:13:20,350 Dad! 1777 01:13:20,352 --> 01:13:21,887 Don, I'm sorry! 1778 01:13:23,188 --> 01:13:24,755 That sucks. 1779 01:13:24,757 --> 01:13:26,826 - I'm so sorry. - No, no, it was all right. 1780 01:13:29,695 --> 01:13:31,363 Hey, no fair. That's an ice ball. 1781 01:13:31,365 --> 01:13:32,663 You bet it is. 1782 01:13:32,665 --> 01:13:34,564 You know, you throw that and we are no longer co-dads. 1783 01:13:34,566 --> 01:13:35,833 I'm way ahead of you, dickhead. 1784 01:13:35,835 --> 01:13:37,001 You know, from now on, 1785 01:13:37,003 --> 01:13:38,502 we'll just act like a normal blended family 1786 01:13:38,504 --> 01:13:39,569 with me hating your guts. 1787 01:13:39,571 --> 01:13:41,271 The kids will never know, 1788 01:13:41,273 --> 01:13:43,440 because I'm too good of a dad to ever throw their stepfather under the bus. 1789 01:13:43,442 --> 01:13:45,476 But that's right where you're gonna be, Brad. 1790 01:13:45,478 --> 01:13:47,144 Under my bus. 1791 01:13:47,146 --> 01:13:50,146 Well, guess what, I'm gonna celebrate you morning, noon and night 1792 01:13:50,148 --> 01:13:52,683 because it's the right thing to do in front of the kids. 1793 01:13:52,685 --> 01:13:54,685 But just know the way I really feel about you 1794 01:13:54,687 --> 01:13:56,887 is you can suck a fart, Dusty. 1795 01:13:56,889 --> 01:13:59,793 A wet, greasy fart. 1796 01:14:02,094 --> 01:14:05,229 You gonna keep pump-faking that thing or you gonna take a shot, Brad? 1797 01:14:05,231 --> 01:14:06,564 Huh? 1798 01:14:06,566 --> 01:14:09,833 What? What? Huh? 1799 01:14:09,835 --> 01:14:11,502 He's never played sports ever. 1800 01:14:11,504 --> 01:14:13,336 Maybe it's stuck to his hand. 1801 01:14:13,338 --> 01:14:14,340 Oh! Oh! 1802 01:14:15,607 --> 01:14:17,677 Huh? Huh? 1803 01:14:24,551 --> 01:14:25,949 That's what I thought. 1804 01:14:25,951 --> 01:14:27,551 You know what, Dusty, you're not worth it. 1805 01:14:27,553 --> 01:14:29,153 Come on, Dad. 1806 01:14:29,155 --> 01:14:30,054 (GROANS) Good. 1807 01:14:30,056 --> 01:14:31,458 Psych. You're totally worth it! 1808 01:14:33,259 --> 01:14:34,358 Dad! 1809 01:14:34,360 --> 01:14:35,527 (LAUGHS) 1810 01:14:35,529 --> 01:14:38,595 - That was an ice ball. - Treating your dad like that! 1811 01:14:38,597 --> 01:14:39,930 Dad. 1812 01:14:39,932 --> 01:14:41,834 Look, it was an accident. 1813 01:14:44,838 --> 01:14:46,636 Go ahead, Roger. 1814 01:14:46,638 --> 01:14:48,240 Brad was right the first time. 1815 01:14:49,308 --> 01:14:50,811 You're not worth it. 1816 01:14:51,343 --> 01:14:52,644 (DON GROANS) 1817 01:14:52,646 --> 01:14:54,746 Dang! Right down my neck! 1818 01:14:54,748 --> 01:14:56,183 ROGER: Don! Sorry! Sorry! 1819 01:14:57,150 --> 01:14:59,882 That guy's like a snowball magnet. 1820 01:14:59,884 --> 01:15:02,054 You were right about everything. You happy now? 1821 01:15:02,955 --> 01:15:04,654 Dusty, 1822 01:15:04,656 --> 01:15:06,726 I do like being right. 1823 01:15:10,963 --> 01:15:12,462 Hey, is that your baby in there? 1824 01:15:12,464 --> 01:15:13,529 Griffy! 1825 01:15:13,531 --> 01:15:14,799 (CRYING) 1826 01:15:14,801 --> 01:15:17,635 I know. I know, sweetie. It's okay, it's okay. 1827 01:15:17,637 --> 01:15:19,235 I know, I know. 1828 01:15:19,237 --> 01:15:22,308 This was Dusty's idea. I never wanted to do this. 1829 01:15:59,911 --> 01:16:02,148 Hey, Brad. That one's mine. 1830 01:16:03,081 --> 01:16:05,151 - Oh, is this bag yours? - Yeah. 1831 01:16:11,356 --> 01:16:12,993 Sara? Sara! 1832 01:16:28,441 --> 01:16:30,510 (CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING) 1833 01:16:34,780 --> 01:16:36,413 - Oh, my gosh. - Ew. 1834 01:16:36,415 --> 01:16:38,250 What is going on here? 1835 01:16:42,721 --> 01:16:43,854 What's happening, Officer? 1836 01:16:43,856 --> 01:16:46,123 Avalanche hit the highway up ahead. 1837 01:16:46,125 --> 01:16:47,926 It's gonna take a few hours to clear it, 1838 01:16:47,928 --> 01:16:50,394 so follow the traffic back into town, all right? 1839 01:16:50,396 --> 01:16:53,029 What caused the avalanche? Was it all the snow? 1840 01:16:53,031 --> 01:16:54,165 Yeah, I'm pretty sure 1841 01:16:54,167 --> 01:16:56,634 snow had something to do with the avalanche. 1842 01:16:56,636 --> 01:16:58,338 Keep it moving! 1843 01:17:02,475 --> 01:17:05,943 Well, I guess we could stop and have lunch to kill time. 1844 01:17:05,945 --> 01:17:08,010 On Christmas Day? 1845 01:17:08,012 --> 01:17:09,814 What's gonna be open? 1846 01:17:09,816 --> 01:17:11,051 I don't know. 1847 01:17:14,219 --> 01:17:16,088 (CHOIR SINGING CHRISTMAS CAROL) 1848 01:17:17,156 --> 01:17:19,424 (CHUCKLES) Oh, look at that! 1849 01:17:19,426 --> 01:17:21,393 Looks like everyone had the same idea. 1850 01:17:34,339 --> 01:17:36,873 Oh, no. Everything's sold out. 1851 01:17:36,875 --> 01:17:38,141 Well, I guess we could see Missile Tow. 1852 01:17:38,143 --> 01:17:39,443 What's that about? 1853 01:17:39,445 --> 01:17:40,711 It's Liam Neeson. 1854 01:17:40,713 --> 01:17:43,247 He's a tow truck driver who's on his way home for Christmas 1855 01:17:43,249 --> 01:17:45,983 with his kids and happens along some terrorists 1856 01:17:45,985 --> 01:17:47,818 who've hijacked a mobile ICBM. 1857 01:17:47,820 --> 01:17:49,086 So he hooks it to his rig 1858 01:17:49,088 --> 01:17:50,988 and has to get it to NORAD before Christmas morning. 1859 01:17:50,990 --> 01:17:52,623 I hear it's really good! 1860 01:17:52,625 --> 01:17:55,125 I don't know, Brad, it's PG-13. 1861 01:17:55,127 --> 01:17:58,128 I don't really care for the salty language. 1862 01:17:58,130 --> 01:17:59,563 Well, it has cute little kids in it. 1863 01:17:59,565 --> 01:18:00,663 I mean, how dirty can it be? 1864 01:18:00,665 --> 01:18:01,899 Besides, you love Liam Neeson. 1865 01:18:01,901 --> 01:18:02,966 I do. 1866 01:18:02,968 --> 01:18:04,702 - Let's just give it a shot. - Yes! 1867 01:18:04,704 --> 01:18:06,002 Looks very heroic. 1868 01:18:06,004 --> 01:18:08,507 - I'll say that much. - SARA: I mean, really. Man! 1869 01:18:10,410 --> 01:18:12,976 The front row? I don't know, Brad. 1870 01:18:12,978 --> 01:18:14,577 - What about the... - Dad, please stop! 1871 01:18:14,579 --> 01:18:15,746 It's gonna strain your eyes. 1872 01:18:15,748 --> 01:18:17,250 We don't have a choice, all right? 1873 01:18:18,918 --> 01:18:20,654 DYLAN: Look, it's Mom and Brad! 1874 01:18:21,721 --> 01:18:23,186 (TIRES SCREECHING) 1875 01:18:23,188 --> 01:18:25,191 LIAM NEESON: Santa's got a present for you bastards. 1876 01:18:28,060 --> 01:18:30,327 - (GUNSHOT) - (MAN GROANS) 1877 01:18:30,329 --> 01:18:32,064 (LAUGHING) 1878 01:18:34,667 --> 01:18:37,201 You're impounded, asshole. 1879 01:18:37,203 --> 01:18:39,502 - BOY: You did it, Daddy! - GIRL: You killed them all. 1880 01:18:39,504 --> 01:18:42,872 LIAM NEESON: No, kids. We did it. We killed them all. 1881 01:18:42,874 --> 01:18:44,074 Together. 1882 01:18:44,076 --> 01:18:45,975 CHILDREN: We love you, Daddy. 1883 01:18:45,977 --> 01:18:47,877 LIAM NEESON: I love you, too. 1884 01:18:47,879 --> 01:18:51,051 The only thing that matters to me in this crazy world 1885 01:18:51,484 --> 01:18:53,451 is you kids. 1886 01:18:53,453 --> 01:18:55,786 And I'm sorry that your holiday was ruined 1887 01:18:55,788 --> 01:18:57,954 by those godless mother... 1888 01:18:57,956 --> 01:18:59,590 (DIALOGUE DISTORTS) 1889 01:18:59,592 --> 01:19:01,561 (AUDIENCE GROANING) 1890 01:19:04,597 --> 01:19:05,628 ROBERTO: Sorry, folks. 1891 01:19:05,630 --> 01:19:07,363 Looks like we're having a bit of a power outage. 1892 01:19:07,365 --> 01:19:09,600 We don't know when the power's gonna come back on, 1893 01:19:09,602 --> 01:19:12,336 so you guys are all welcome to stay in here or in the lobby. 1894 01:19:12,338 --> 01:19:15,005 The DOT wants everybody to stay inside and off the roads, 1895 01:19:15,007 --> 01:19:16,576 so we might be in here for a while. 1896 01:19:19,078 --> 01:19:21,545 You know, I bet this is because of the snow, too. 1897 01:19:21,547 --> 01:19:22,682 Gee, Dad, you think so? 1898 01:19:25,285 --> 01:19:27,220 (CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING) 1899 01:19:49,374 --> 01:19:51,007 DON: I need to use the gent's. 1900 01:19:51,009 --> 01:19:52,475 Brad, do you need to go tee-tee? 1901 01:19:52,477 --> 01:19:54,144 Dad, don't say that in public! 1902 01:19:54,146 --> 01:19:55,414 - Just go. - All right. 1903 01:19:57,784 --> 01:19:59,018 Is he still looking at me? 1904 01:20:00,718 --> 01:20:01,918 Yes. 1905 01:20:01,920 --> 01:20:04,190 Is he doing that one look that he does? You know, like... 1906 01:20:06,125 --> 01:20:08,225 - Is he doing that look? - Yeah. 1907 01:20:08,227 --> 01:20:10,497 Where he doesn't blink? Yeah. 1908 01:20:11,864 --> 01:20:13,066 Yep. 1909 01:20:13,632 --> 01:20:15,099 You know, 1910 01:20:15,101 --> 01:20:16,500 when I said that 1911 01:20:16,502 --> 01:20:18,969 Brad was turning you into something that you're not? 1912 01:20:18,971 --> 01:20:21,904 Maybe, you know, what I really meant to say 1913 01:20:21,906 --> 01:20:23,707 was that 1914 01:20:23,709 --> 01:20:26,445 Brad's turning you into something that I'm not, 1915 01:20:26,812 --> 01:20:28,311 a good dad. 1916 01:20:28,313 --> 01:20:29,512 (SCOFFS) 1917 01:20:29,514 --> 01:20:31,415 No? No, that didn't do it for you? 1918 01:20:31,417 --> 01:20:32,616 Come on. I thought it was pretty good. 1919 01:20:32,618 --> 01:20:34,518 That whole speech was in the movie we just saw. 1920 01:20:34,520 --> 01:20:35,952 - Was it? - Yeah. Word for word. 1921 01:20:35,954 --> 01:20:37,253 Dramatic pauses and all. 1922 01:20:37,255 --> 01:20:38,421 Liam Neeson just said that. 1923 01:20:38,423 --> 01:20:41,091 It must've been in my subconscious. 1924 01:20:41,093 --> 01:20:42,458 I'm gonna go drain the lizard. 1925 01:20:42,460 --> 01:20:43,463 Yeah. Yeah. 1926 01:20:48,433 --> 01:20:51,068 Whoa! That is a very impressive 1927 01:20:51,070 --> 01:20:53,606 watch. Is that a Rolex? Mine's a Casio. 1928 01:20:59,544 --> 01:21:00,547 (SIGHS) 1929 01:21:03,583 --> 01:21:05,582 You know what, Kurt? 1930 01:21:05,584 --> 01:21:06,516 When we first met, 1931 01:21:06,518 --> 01:21:09,386 I was so excited about our being co-grandpas. 1932 01:21:09,388 --> 01:21:12,725 And now everybody's miserable! And my son won't forgive me. 1933 01:21:13,927 --> 01:21:15,594 You know what you and Brad really need? 1934 01:21:16,594 --> 01:21:18,061 Oh, no. 1935 01:21:18,063 --> 01:21:20,863 I'm not taking any advice from the likes of you. 1936 01:21:20,865 --> 01:21:22,134 No, thank you. 1937 01:21:25,637 --> 01:21:27,206 Okay, what do we need? 1938 01:21:30,276 --> 01:21:32,542 - Hey! Adrianna's here! - ADRIANNA: Megan! 1939 01:21:32,544 --> 01:21:33,676 Hi! 1940 01:21:33,678 --> 01:21:36,346 - I can't shake this guy. - I can't shake this guy. 1941 01:21:36,348 --> 01:21:37,848 - You guys got stuck here, too? - ADRIANNA: Yeah. 1942 01:21:37,850 --> 01:21:41,551 And, Dylan, look who else got stuck. Your girlfriend! 1943 01:21:41,553 --> 01:21:42,987 MEGAN: We should put her under the mistletoe. 1944 01:21:42,989 --> 01:21:44,054 ADRIANNA: Yeah! 1945 01:21:44,056 --> 01:21:46,226 - Come on, stay under. - Stay. 1946 01:21:49,128 --> 01:21:51,331 You like that girl, don't you? 1947 01:21:51,931 --> 01:21:53,133 Hmm. 1948 01:21:53,566 --> 01:21:54,465 Well, 1949 01:21:54,467 --> 01:21:57,868 who knocked down a pin all by himself? 1950 01:21:57,870 --> 01:22:00,002 - I did? - Damn right, you did. 1951 01:22:00,004 --> 01:22:02,073 Now go in there and pick up that spare. 1952 01:22:02,075 --> 01:22:03,910 Here she is, Dylan! 1953 01:22:04,977 --> 01:22:06,846 It just doesn't seem right. 1954 01:22:08,646 --> 01:22:09,512 Brad? 1955 01:22:09,514 --> 01:22:11,918 Dad, I really don't want to... 1956 01:22:12,817 --> 01:22:13,818 Jeez. 1957 01:22:13,820 --> 01:22:16,787 We're gonna settle this physically, like men! 1958 01:22:16,789 --> 01:22:19,256 And when it's all over, we're gonna feel a whole lot better. 1959 01:22:19,258 --> 01:22:21,391 At least somebody's taking my advice today. 1960 01:22:21,393 --> 01:22:23,092 Cut it out! This is child abuse! Honey, help me! 1961 01:22:23,094 --> 01:22:24,694 Don't be such a snowflake. Fight back! 1962 01:22:24,696 --> 01:22:25,962 Hey, guys, come on, knock it off. 1963 01:22:25,964 --> 01:22:27,029 You're making a scene, all right? 1964 01:22:27,031 --> 01:22:28,331 Yeah, Don, lean on him! 1965 01:22:28,333 --> 01:22:30,870 Engage me, son, for the sake of our male bond. 1966 01:22:33,204 --> 01:22:34,806 No, wait, wait, look. Look! 1967 01:22:35,340 --> 01:22:37,442 (ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) 1968 01:22:39,645 --> 01:22:41,281 What's he doing? 1969 01:22:46,919 --> 01:22:49,086 Oh, my God. He's going in for his first kiss. 1970 01:22:49,088 --> 01:22:50,686 Look, she's standing under the mistletoe. 1971 01:22:50,688 --> 01:22:52,355 Oh, my God. Where's my phone? Where's my phone? 1972 01:22:52,357 --> 01:22:54,024 Oh, my God, where's your phone? 1973 01:22:54,026 --> 01:22:55,326 Brad, where's your phone! 1974 01:22:55,328 --> 01:22:58,461 Okay, it's right here. Right here. Yeah. Yeah. 1975 01:22:58,463 --> 01:23:00,899 Look how brave he is. She's all yours, buddy. 1976 01:23:02,034 --> 01:23:03,301 Unless she's got a boyfriend. 1977 01:23:03,303 --> 01:23:04,601 In that case, there's always the Friend Zone. 1978 01:23:04,603 --> 01:23:05,836 No, there's nothing wrong with the Friend Zone. 1979 01:23:05,838 --> 01:23:07,003 Guys, he's not going in the Friend Zone, okay? 1980 01:23:07,005 --> 01:23:08,070 Look at that smile. She likes him. 1981 01:23:08,072 --> 01:23:09,776 KURT: Yeah, she wants a kiss. 1982 01:23:36,869 --> 01:23:38,301 My God, he kissed his sister! 1983 01:23:38,303 --> 01:23:40,005 Congratulations, you lucky gal. 1984 01:23:41,472 --> 01:23:44,107 I did it, El Padre! I kissed the girl I like! 1985 01:23:44,109 --> 01:23:47,177 Yeah! Attaboy! (LAUGHS) 1986 01:23:47,179 --> 01:23:50,581 Did you just kiss your sister? You sick kid! 1987 01:23:50,583 --> 01:23:51,649 Stepsister. 1988 01:23:51,651 --> 01:23:53,417 I mean, still not okay, I know that. 1989 01:23:53,419 --> 01:23:55,452 What? No, no, wait, he's just a little confused, all right? 1990 01:23:55,454 --> 01:23:57,153 It's no surprise when you look at who raised him. 1991 01:23:57,155 --> 01:23:58,921 Adrianna, come on. We're going home. 1992 01:23:58,923 --> 01:24:00,890 Wait, wait, Roger, you can't go out in that storm. 1993 01:24:00,892 --> 01:24:03,961 I was an alternate for Season 3 Ice Road Truckers. 1994 01:24:03,963 --> 01:24:04,964 I'll be fine. 1995 01:24:06,432 --> 01:24:07,867 That was their best season. 1996 01:24:08,667 --> 01:24:10,234 I got this. 1997 01:24:10,236 --> 01:24:11,734 Wait a minute. Roger, hold up, man. 1998 01:24:11,736 --> 01:24:14,471 No. From now on, I don't want you anywhere near my daughter. 1999 01:24:14,473 --> 01:24:16,206 I don't want anything to do with any of you people! 2000 01:24:16,208 --> 01:24:18,341 Look, I never wanted to be family with you, either, Roger. 2001 01:24:18,343 --> 01:24:21,110 Just like Brad never wanted to be family with me, did you, Brad? 2002 01:24:21,112 --> 01:24:22,846 No. Not at all. I hated your guts. 2003 01:24:22,848 --> 01:24:25,015 In fact, I still kind of do right now. 2004 01:24:25,017 --> 01:24:26,349 Yeah. Me, too, Brad. 2005 01:24:26,351 --> 01:24:28,085 But we're all connected by these kids. 2006 01:24:28,087 --> 01:24:29,519 No one's going anywhere. 2007 01:24:29,521 --> 01:24:31,454 - You gonna stop me? - If I have to, yes. 2008 01:24:31,456 --> 01:24:33,726 Yeah, right. You couldn't stop a clock, you weak tit. 2009 01:24:34,892 --> 01:24:36,328 The hammer. 2010 01:24:39,397 --> 01:24:40,963 You know what, Adrianna? 2011 01:24:40,965 --> 01:24:44,370 You're not gonna like this, young lady, but this is long overdue. 2012 01:24:47,772 --> 01:24:48,775 I love you. 2013 01:24:50,476 --> 01:24:52,408 - That got me. - Got me, too. Right here. 2014 01:24:52,410 --> 01:24:53,644 What the hell did you just say? 2015 01:24:53,646 --> 01:24:55,144 You heard me. I said, I love my stepdaughter! 2016 01:24:55,146 --> 01:24:57,448 And I meant it. I should've said it a long time ago, 2017 01:24:57,450 --> 01:25:01,454 but I was afraid to put myself out there and risk getting rejected. 2018 01:25:01,853 --> 01:25:02,920 Sweet. 2019 01:25:02,922 --> 01:25:04,755 You know what? 2020 01:25:04,757 --> 01:25:07,460 Adrianna, you're gonna spend Christmas with your mom, okay? 2021 01:25:09,428 --> 01:25:11,595 You're not leaving us, Roger. 2022 01:25:11,597 --> 01:25:13,333 'Cause I love you, too. 2023 01:25:15,467 --> 01:25:17,568 - You take that back! - Nope. I can't. 2024 01:25:17,570 --> 01:25:18,702 Can't take it back now. 2025 01:25:18,704 --> 01:25:20,670 Everybody heard it. It's out there. 2026 01:25:20,672 --> 01:25:23,541 - Everybody hear it? - CROWD: Yeah. 2027 01:25:23,543 --> 01:25:25,208 You're her dad, you made her who she is, 2028 01:25:25,210 --> 01:25:28,378 and despite her currently harboring a fair amount of resentment towards me, 2029 01:25:28,380 --> 01:25:30,613 I love her, so that means I love you, too. 2030 01:25:30,615 --> 01:25:32,582 And I've never been too good about saying it, 2031 01:25:32,584 --> 01:25:34,284 but I'm gonna follow Brad's example, 2032 01:25:34,286 --> 01:25:35,552 who I also love. 2033 01:25:35,554 --> 01:25:37,787 Now you're just saying things to choke me up. 2034 01:25:37,789 --> 01:25:38,889 Brad! Cut it out. 2035 01:25:38,891 --> 01:25:41,024 - I'm trying. - I'm a hot mess here. 2036 01:25:41,026 --> 01:25:42,792 - Don, please! - You've got to understand, 2037 01:25:42,794 --> 01:25:44,828 when it comes out of nowhere like that, 2038 01:25:44,830 --> 01:25:45,729 what do you expect? 2039 01:25:45,731 --> 01:25:46,997 - Stop! - I'm stopping. 2040 01:25:46,999 --> 01:25:48,498 - I'm currently stopping. - We're... 2041 01:25:48,500 --> 01:25:50,833 Yeah, guys. Cut it out, you're embarrassing me. 2042 01:25:50,835 --> 01:25:52,202 I love you, Brad. 2043 01:25:52,204 --> 01:25:54,005 And I love Karen, I love Sara, 2044 01:25:54,973 --> 01:25:56,007 and I love my kids. 2045 01:25:59,579 --> 01:26:00,813 I... 2046 01:26:04,115 --> 01:26:06,049 I might need a little more time with that one. 2047 01:26:06,051 --> 01:26:07,217 Sure, understood. 2048 01:26:07,219 --> 01:26:09,152 But we're making progress. Maybe for your birthday. 2049 01:26:09,154 --> 01:26:10,319 Yeah. 2050 01:26:10,321 --> 01:26:12,155 You know. Unless you want to say anything? 2051 01:26:12,157 --> 01:26:13,791 - Anything at all? - DON: Say it, Kurt. 2052 01:26:13,793 --> 01:26:15,792 - Now's the time. - Just say it, Kurt. 2053 01:26:15,794 --> 01:26:16,926 DUSTY: You want to say anything? 2054 01:26:16,928 --> 01:26:18,729 BRAD: It's not that bad. Just say it. 2055 01:26:18,731 --> 01:26:21,399 - You can do it. - Do it. 2056 01:26:21,401 --> 01:26:24,301 Nah, the birthday's a good target. Good target. 2057 01:26:24,303 --> 01:26:26,202 All right, Roger, what do you say? 2058 01:26:26,204 --> 01:26:29,008 It's not too late to spend Christmas with your family. 2059 01:26:36,048 --> 01:26:37,650 (CROWD GROANING) 2060 01:26:40,820 --> 01:26:42,588 (MUSIC PLAYING) 2061 01:26:48,127 --> 01:26:50,797 ♪ It's Christmastime 2062 01:26:51,830 --> 01:26:55,500 ♪ There's no need to be afraid, Roger 2063 01:26:56,468 --> 01:26:59,302 ♪ At Christmastime 2064 01:26:59,304 --> 01:27:02,738 ♪ We let in light and we banish shade 2065 01:27:02,740 --> 01:27:04,675 Damn, that's my favorite song of all time. 2066 01:27:04,677 --> 01:27:09,113 ♪ And in our world of plenty 2067 01:27:09,115 --> 01:27:13,350 ♪ We can spread a smile of joy 2068 01:27:13,352 --> 01:27:17,086 ♪ Throw your arms around the world 2069 01:27:17,088 --> 01:27:19,958 ♪ At Christmastime 2070 01:27:21,560 --> 01:27:23,495 ♪ But say a prayer 2071 01:27:25,563 --> 01:27:28,064 ♪ Pray for the other ones! 2072 01:27:28,066 --> 01:27:30,132 I'll play this in August, I don't even care. 2073 01:27:30,134 --> 01:27:32,168 ♪ At Christmastime 2074 01:27:32,170 --> 01:27:37,841 ♪ It's hard, but when you're having fun 2075 01:27:37,843 --> 01:27:42,779 ♪ There's a world outside your window 2076 01:27:42,781 --> 01:27:46,817 ♪ It's a world of dread and fear 2077 01:27:46,819 --> 01:27:51,421 ♪ Where the only water flowing is 2078 01:27:51,423 --> 01:27:55,158 ♪ The bitter sting of tears 2079 01:27:55,160 --> 01:27:59,430 ♪ And the Christmas bells that ring there 2080 01:27:59,432 --> 01:28:03,166 ♪ Are the clanging chimes of doom 2081 01:28:03,168 --> 01:28:06,539 ♪ Well, tonight thank God it's them 2082 01:28:07,172 --> 01:28:09,842 ♪ Instead of you ♪ 2083 01:28:10,409 --> 01:28:12,210 Yes! Fantastic! 2084 01:28:17,281 --> 01:28:18,817 He heard it! 2085 01:28:28,259 --> 01:28:29,294 Come on, Roger. 2086 01:28:31,362 --> 01:28:33,497 Look. Yes, we're all stuck here, 2087 01:28:33,499 --> 01:28:35,465 but we're with our loved ones. 2088 01:28:35,467 --> 01:28:37,567 I'm not. I came alone. 2089 01:28:37,569 --> 01:28:39,135 Okay, well, 2090 01:28:39,137 --> 01:28:41,704 he came to the movies alone on Christmas, and that's a little sad. 2091 01:28:41,706 --> 01:28:43,875 ♪ That's a little sad! ♪ 2092 01:28:44,709 --> 01:28:46,243 But you're not alone, sir. 2093 01:28:46,245 --> 01:28:49,579 I mean, think about it. We come to the movies all the time. 2094 01:28:49,581 --> 01:28:51,715 We sit with hundreds of people. 2095 01:28:51,717 --> 01:28:55,452 And we laugh together, we cry together, 2096 01:28:55,454 --> 01:28:57,787 but we never look at each other, do we? 2097 01:28:57,789 --> 01:29:00,756 Brad, it's not a microphone, it's a mallet. See? 2098 01:29:00,758 --> 01:29:02,792 - They can hear you. - You can still hear me, right? 2099 01:29:02,794 --> 01:29:04,327 - Yeah. - Yeah. 2100 01:29:04,329 --> 01:29:06,262 Take a look at each other. 2101 01:29:06,264 --> 01:29:07,930 - That's right. - Hi. 2102 01:29:07,932 --> 01:29:10,934 BRAD: Give a hug. Give an embrace. 2103 01:29:10,936 --> 01:29:14,703 What we have here are the makings of a really great Christmas party. 2104 01:29:14,705 --> 01:29:16,439 We have a Christmas tree. 2105 01:29:16,441 --> 01:29:18,608 We have music and snacks. 2106 01:29:18,610 --> 01:29:20,476 We have Christmas spirit. 2107 01:29:20,478 --> 01:29:21,912 We have mirth. 2108 01:29:21,914 --> 01:29:23,046 We have snow! 2109 01:29:23,048 --> 01:29:25,148 DUSTY: You know who doesn't have snow? 2110 01:29:25,150 --> 01:29:27,687 I'll bet he knows who doesn't have snow, don't you? 2111 01:29:30,188 --> 01:29:32,357 Yeah. Yeah, I know. 2112 01:29:33,325 --> 01:29:35,492 I know where there isn't snow. 2113 01:29:35,494 --> 01:29:39,595 ♪ And there won't be snow in Africa 2114 01:29:39,597 --> 01:29:42,334 ♪ This Christmastime! 2115 01:29:44,203 --> 01:29:49,909 ♪ Do they know it's Christmastime at all? 2116 01:29:52,410 --> 01:29:53,877 Merry Christmas! 2117 01:29:53,879 --> 01:29:55,615 Merry Christmas, folks! 2118 01:29:57,115 --> 01:30:01,018 ♪ Feed the world 2119 01:30:01,020 --> 01:30:05,255 ♪ Let them know it's Christmastime 2120 01:30:05,257 --> 01:30:07,390 ♪ Feed the world 2121 01:30:07,392 --> 01:30:09,193 What? 2122 01:30:09,195 --> 01:30:12,162 ♪ Let them know it's Christmastime ♪ 2123 01:30:12,164 --> 01:30:14,264 "Sara. 2124 01:30:14,266 --> 01:30:16,265 "Beautiful and smart. 2125 01:30:16,267 --> 01:30:19,034 "The mom that everyone loves"? 2126 01:30:19,036 --> 01:30:22,007 Oh, my God. She's basing a character on me! 2127 01:30:22,540 --> 01:30:23,743 (GIGGLING) 2128 01:30:25,776 --> 01:30:27,946 (ALL CONTINUE SINGING) 2129 01:30:56,709 --> 01:30:58,210 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 2130 01:30:58,843 --> 01:31:00,076 DUSTY: All right, guys. 2131 01:31:00,078 --> 01:31:01,310 We're not gonna see them again till Easter, 2132 01:31:01,312 --> 01:31:03,046 so everybody say good-bye to El Padre and Pop-Pop. 2133 01:31:03,048 --> 01:31:04,948 - Bye, Dylan. - Good-bye, El Padre! 2134 01:31:04,950 --> 01:31:06,315 Hey, next time you want to shoot a guy, 2135 01:31:06,317 --> 01:31:09,318 don't just wing him, go for center mass, okay? 2136 01:31:09,320 --> 01:31:10,355 Good-bye, Adrianna. 2137 01:31:12,624 --> 01:31:14,657 I don't want you to go, Pop-Pop! 2138 01:31:14,659 --> 01:31:15,891 - Really? - Yeah, really? 2139 01:31:15,893 --> 01:31:17,260 Sure. Of course, he gets a hug. 2140 01:31:17,262 --> 01:31:20,363 Maybe you can call me and tell me more Pop-Pop stories. 2141 01:31:20,365 --> 01:31:21,898 I would love to! 2142 01:31:21,900 --> 01:31:24,301 Oh. And I also signed you up for SeniorMatch.com. 2143 01:31:24,303 --> 01:31:26,702 It's a dating website for old people like you. 2144 01:31:26,704 --> 01:31:28,306 Thank you, sweetie. 2145 01:31:29,007 --> 01:31:30,908 Honey, it's your mom texting. 2146 01:31:30,910 --> 01:31:32,676 They're just getting off the plane. 2147 01:31:32,678 --> 01:31:34,109 I'd better go before they get here. 2148 01:31:34,111 --> 01:31:36,145 I don't want to make anything awkward. 2149 01:31:36,147 --> 01:31:38,482 - Bye, Dad. - Bye, big man. 2150 01:31:38,484 --> 01:31:41,087 - Love you. - I love you, too, Brad. 2151 01:31:42,120 --> 01:31:44,323 Hey, well, yeah, you have a good flight. 2152 01:31:57,736 --> 01:31:59,702 Yeah, let's not get that going. 2153 01:31:59,704 --> 01:32:00,936 I agree. You've got to start that younger. 2154 01:32:00,938 --> 01:32:02,137 We missed that window. 2155 01:32:02,139 --> 01:32:03,405 I really appreciate the gesture. 2156 01:32:03,407 --> 01:32:04,541 You do? Then okay. 2157 01:32:04,543 --> 01:32:06,743 - Hey. I'll see you, kid. - See you soon, yeah. 2158 01:32:06,745 --> 01:32:08,144 Yeah, bye, kid. 2159 01:32:08,146 --> 01:32:10,816 - Are you coming, Pop-Pop? - Come on, Captain! 2160 01:32:11,348 --> 01:32:13,116 Bye, Dad. 2161 01:32:13,118 --> 01:32:15,118 You know, Don, I've been thinking. 2162 01:32:15,120 --> 01:32:16,720 You don't need a dating app. 2163 01:32:16,722 --> 01:32:19,020 What you need is a wingman. 2164 01:32:19,022 --> 01:32:20,657 I switched our flights to Vegas. 2165 01:32:20,659 --> 01:32:22,759 New Year's at Caesar's, fix you right up. 2166 01:32:22,761 --> 01:32:24,894 That sounds wonderful! 2167 01:32:24,896 --> 01:32:26,896 Where are we connecting through? 2168 01:32:26,898 --> 01:32:28,966 Don't start with me, Pop-Pop. 2169 01:32:28,968 --> 01:32:31,167 Hey, Braddie. Don't be nervous now. 2170 01:32:31,169 --> 01:32:35,104 You are the kindest, most gentle and honest guy I know. 2171 01:32:35,106 --> 01:32:37,774 And whoever your mother brings down that escalator, 2172 01:32:37,776 --> 01:32:39,376 he's gonna love you, you hear me? 2173 01:32:39,378 --> 01:32:40,513 Grandma! 2174 01:32:44,650 --> 01:32:46,252 Is that Sully? 2175 01:32:46,817 --> 01:32:48,351 Wait, wait, who? 2176 01:32:48,353 --> 01:32:49,585 DUSTY: Sully Sullenberger. 2177 01:32:49,587 --> 01:32:52,421 The guy who saved 155 passengers on the miracle on the Hudson! 2178 01:32:52,423 --> 01:32:54,224 Clint Eastwood made a frickin' movie about it. 2179 01:32:54,226 --> 01:32:56,091 Wait. We watched it at your house, it was awesome! 2180 01:32:56,093 --> 01:32:57,560 Right. Tom Hanks and Aaron Eckhart. 2181 01:32:57,562 --> 01:32:59,061 I really enjoyed it. 2182 01:32:59,063 --> 01:33:01,834 That guy is a national hero, and he's gonna be your stepdad. 2183 01:33:02,200 --> 01:33:03,132 Wow. Amazing. 2184 01:33:03,134 --> 01:33:05,135 I bet you he gets free flight vouchers. 2185 01:33:05,137 --> 01:33:07,136 And maybe get us some vouchers! 2186 01:33:07,138 --> 01:33:08,171 Maybe. 2187 01:33:08,173 --> 01:33:10,840 Well, don't make him wait. Go say hi. Go! Go! 2188 01:33:10,842 --> 01:33:12,044 MEGAN: Grandma! 2189 01:33:13,512 --> 01:33:15,644 You must be Brad. 2190 01:33:15,646 --> 01:33:16,712 Nope. 2191 01:33:16,714 --> 01:33:18,648 - No, Brad. - You're not my dad! 2192 01:33:18,650 --> 01:33:19,881 Brad, no, that's a mistake! 2193 01:33:19,883 --> 01:33:21,818 I don't care how many lives you saved! 2194 01:33:21,820 --> 01:33:24,322 You'll never replace him, do you hear me? 2195 01:33:26,624 --> 01:33:28,425 Brad, he's so nice! Come back! 2196 01:33:28,427 --> 01:33:32,431 You only have one good story, my father has a million! 2197 01:33:34,900 --> 01:33:37,002 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 2198 01:35:06,258 --> 01:35:11,728 ♪ 103.6 The Panda ♪ 2199 01:35:11,730 --> 01:35:13,628 You're listening to Jason Sinclair at the Panda, 2200 01:35:13,630 --> 01:35:16,198 and I've got a little holiday recipe for you tonight. 2201 01:35:16,200 --> 01:35:19,301 Two cups of eggnog, one serving of silk pajamas, 2202 01:35:19,303 --> 01:35:22,005 and a heaping helping of a loved one. 2203 01:35:22,007 --> 01:35:24,640 And I'm gonna add a pinch of smooth jazz 2204 01:35:24,642 --> 01:35:26,408 on the Panda. 2205 01:35:26,410 --> 01:35:27,976 And I have one question for you. 2206 01:35:27,978 --> 01:35:29,244 Do you know what time it is? 2207 01:35:29,246 --> 01:35:31,482 ♪ It's Christmastime 2208 01:35:33,051 --> 01:35:37,519 ♪ There's no need to be afraid, Roger 2209 01:35:37,521 --> 01:35:44,195 ♪ At Christmastime We let in light and we banish shade 2210 01:35:45,664 --> 01:35:50,332 ♪ And in our world of plenty 2211 01:35:50,334 --> 01:35:54,537 ♪ We can spread a smile of joy 2212 01:35:54,539 --> 01:35:58,006 ♪ Throw your arms around the world 2213 01:35:58,008 --> 01:36:00,545 ♪ At Christmastime 2214 01:36:02,681 --> 01:36:04,450 ♪ But say a prayer 2215 01:36:06,718 --> 01:36:10,953 ♪ Pray for the other ones! 2216 01:36:10,955 --> 01:36:13,489 ♪ At Christmastime 2217 01:36:13,491 --> 01:36:19,128 ♪ It's hard, but when you're having fun 2218 01:36:19,130 --> 01:36:24,067 ♪ There's a world outside your window 2219 01:36:24,069 --> 01:36:28,136 ♪ It's a world of dread and fear 2220 01:36:28,138 --> 01:36:32,708 ♪ Where the only water flowing is 2221 01:36:32,710 --> 01:36:35,580 ♪ The bitter sting of tears 2222 01:36:36,681 --> 01:36:38,648 ♪ And the Christmas bells 2223 01:36:38,650 --> 01:36:40,550 ♪ That ring there 2224 01:36:40,552 --> 01:36:44,487 ♪ Are the clanging chimes of doom 2225 01:36:44,489 --> 01:36:48,225 ♪ Well, tonight thank God it's them 2226 01:36:48,227 --> 01:36:51,764 ♪ Instead of you 2227 01:36:53,164 --> 01:36:57,132 ♪ And there won't be snow in Africa 2228 01:36:57,134 --> 01:37:00,071 ♪ This Christmastime! 2229 01:37:01,706 --> 01:37:07,079 ♪ The greatest gift They'll get this year is life 2230 01:37:07,712 --> 01:37:09,912 ♪ Life, life 2231 01:37:09,914 --> 01:37:14,050 ♪ Where nothing ever grows 2232 01:37:14,052 --> 01:37:17,522 ♪ No rain nor rivers flow 2233 01:37:18,624 --> 01:37:25,197 ♪ Do they know it's Christmastime at all? 2234 01:37:27,098 --> 01:37:28,898 ♪ Here's to you 2235 01:37:28,900 --> 01:37:31,333 ♪ Raise a glass for everyone 2236 01:37:31,335 --> 01:37:32,935 ♪ Here's to them 2237 01:37:32,937 --> 01:37:35,372 ♪ Underneath that burning sun 2238 01:37:35,374 --> 01:37:40,612 ♪ Do they know it's Christmastime at all? 2239 01:37:56,562 --> 01:38:00,462 ♪ Feed the world 2240 01:38:00,464 --> 01:38:04,801 ♪ Let them know it's Christmastime 2241 01:38:04,803 --> 01:38:08,738 ♪ Feed the world 2242 01:38:08,740 --> 01:38:13,042 ♪ Let them know it's Christmastime 2243 01:38:13,044 --> 01:38:17,146 ♪ Feed the world 2244 01:38:17,148 --> 01:38:21,283 ♪ Let them know it's Christmastime 2245 01:38:21,285 --> 01:38:25,488 ♪ Feed the world 2246 01:38:25,490 --> 01:38:29,792 ♪ Let them know it's Christmastime 2247 01:38:29,794 --> 01:38:33,695 ♪ Feed the world 2248 01:38:33,697 --> 01:38:38,134 ♪ Let them know it's Christmastime 2249 01:38:38,136 --> 01:38:42,005 ♪ Feed the world 2250 01:38:42,007 --> 01:38:48,547 ♪ Let them know it's Christmastime again ♪ 2251 01:38:51,848 --> 01:38:54,650 You know. Last year, the folks at St. Benedict's, they... 2252 01:38:54,652 --> 01:38:56,252 They had a... A modern-dress Nativity. 2253 01:38:56,254 --> 01:38:59,956 Everybody hated it at first, but you know the folks at St. Benedict's, 2254 01:38:59,958 --> 01:39:01,524 they got back at 'em, all right. 2255 01:39:01,526 --> 01:39:04,426 They won the prize for most original. 2256 01:39:04,428 --> 01:39:07,863 Then, of course, you have the Maplewood Christians. 2257 01:39:07,865 --> 01:39:12,537 They had a kind of friendly competition with the Nazarenes, 2258 01:39:13,338 --> 01:39:16,872 and took all their hay last year. 2259 01:39:16,874 --> 01:39:18,810 Yeah, you just try setting up 2260 01:39:19,910 --> 01:39:21,943 a Nativity without hay. 2261 01:39:21,945 --> 01:39:23,814 Merry Christmas, fellas! 2262 01:39:28,664 --> 01:39:33,664 Subtitles by explosiveskull 170657