All language subtitles for Curb Your Enthusiasm - S01xE10 - The Group

( Gargling )

You know what I was
gargling there?

Was it "yankee doodle dandy"?

Yes.

That was a good one.

Good guess.

Yeah, that was pretty clear.

So, my uncle Nathan called
and he's coming to L.A.

Yeah.

And, he wants to
have dinner with us,

I think, on Thursday night.

Does that work?

Okay, yeah, you wanna eat here?

Oh, no, no, we'd go out.

Oh, really?

Yeah, that way we can
get rid of him.

He a talker?

He's a lingerer.

Okay.

I'm a malingerer
and he's a lingerer.

Alright, so we'll
go out Thursday.

Okay, and also,
this is a little weird,

Jeff wants to see us
in his office tomorrow.

He wants to see us?

You and me, together.

He said not to worry,
he said he's got good news.

Oh, brother.

But, I couldn't
get it out of him.

Alright.

I wonder what the good news is.

I don't know, I can't
even begin to imagine.

He's leaving show business?

That would be good news.

Although I don't think
he'd bill it as that.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Can I ask you something?

Sure.

I'm just curious, okay?

Why am I the one that always
has to initiate sex?

You ever thought about that?

Um...

Okay, I'll tell you why.

I got a cramp in my foot.

Um, I'm available
for sex all the time.

Is that right?

Basically.

So, anytime you wanna have it,

you can have it.

Wow!

But, anytime I wanna
have it, I can't.

So, just assume that
I want it all the time,

so, whenever you want it,
just tap me on the shoulder.

Oh, Jesus, that's so
not how it should go.

Well, otherwise I'll be
making moves all the time.

Do you want that?

Do you want somebody just
mauling you all the time?

I will treat your breasts
as if they're mine.

Once in a while.

I don't want you
walking around like that.

That's how I'll walk around...

You know, I need borders,

I need boundaries.

Okay, once in a while,
give it a try,

that's all I'm saying, okay?

Alright, well, okay, alright.

Not, not, now, no, not now.

So, what's the deal here?

Why'd you call us down here for?

This is very exciting,

I know you're busy
with your charity work

and all that stuff,
but, I got a phone call

the other day
from Wendy praeger.

You know who Wendy praeger is?

Yeah, director, right?

Well, director...

Theater director.

She's directing
"the vagina monologues",

that show, in New York,

and she's bringing
"the vagina monologues"

out here, okay?

I know, the title.

"She's bringing
"the vagina monologues"...

Good for you, Wendy,
do you need help?

She does, actually,

'cause one of her
actresses dropped out

and I suggested you.

( Cheryl ) are you kidding?

No, no audition.

She had seen you
in a play years ago.

And, knew who you were
and liked your work.

Are you joking me?

No, I'm not,
as a matter of fact,

I have the script right here.

She wants Cheryl to do
"the vagina monologues"?

Yes, the only thing is
it's opening in a week,

but, you don't have
to learn any lines,

you can use the script on stage.

Seriously.

( Cheryl stammering )

I've never seen her
so speechless before.

I am shocked, I don't
know what to say.

I didn't even have
to sell you to her.

Nancy just saw this in New York

and said that it's like
the biggest hit.

Your involved with
"the vagina monologues".

( Larry ) of course, you know,
I've never actually seen

the vagina with my glasses on.

I don't really have any
idea what it looks like,

it's all a hazy mystery to me.

Yeah, you don't need
to look at it up close.

Hey, I'm pro vagina.

I can't wait to read this,

I don't even know what
to say to you right now.

Can I have her call
you this afternoon,

please, yes. Is that cool?

You're welcome. Thank you.

( Cheryl ) that was so nice.

Wasn't that nice of him?

I'm shocked.

I'd like to do something
nice for him.

You really should
get him something.

You could get him a bottle
of scotch or something.

Johnny, uh, Johnny goldberg.

Johnny Walker?

Larry?

Oh, my god!

Hey, Lucy.

Oh, it is great to see you.

Good to see you.

You just look wonderful.

Do I?

Look at you, getting
some gray hair.

Inside, I'm corroding.

No, you're a silver-haired fox.

This is my wife, Cheryl. Hi!

Nice to meet you.

Yeah, I'm here.

So, are you working,
what's going on in your life?

I'm on drugs, you know,
I'm all doped up,

I don't do anything, yeah.

It's true,
I'm a drug addict now.

Well, I'm glad I'm seeing you,

because I've been
thinking about you,

and I've been wanting
to get in touch with you,

and, you know, it's,
here you are, you're here.

She's an actress.

Oh.

Are you an actress?

Sometimes.

You're doing
"the vagina monologues"?

Yeah, yeah.

She just got this today.

I've been trying to
get a reading for that,

and my agent's
just dropped the ball.

Oh, I just got lucky,

and, his manager
really was helpful.

Yeah, well, great!

So, it's nice to meet you.

Yeah, so how do you
guys know each other?

Well, we used to go out.

But, she didn't
like me very much.

I didn't like him very much, no.

When he stopped
actually being fun,

I stopped actually liking him.

Good, good.

It didn't go anywhere.

You know what?

I'm gonna go wait in the car.

I'm dying to really
start reading this.

It was great meeting you.

Oh, and congratulations on this.

And your marriage and
all this wonderful stuff.

Oh, yeah, I'd almost
forgotten about that.

Okay, I'll see you
in a few minutes.

Yeah, a couple of minutes.

It was nice to meet you.

Bye-bye.

Larry, I need the keys.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Do me a favor, turn
the air conditioner on,

make it a little cool
in there, will you?

I'll be just a second.

Bye-bye, I hope I see you again.

Yeah, nice meeting you.

I'm actually really glad
that I have run into you

because I've been
thinking about you.

I didn't know how to
get in touch with you,

and, I kind of wanna
get together with you

'cause there's something I'd
like to talk to you about.

Really?

Tell me, right now.

No, this isn't really...

Yeah, it's kind of weird.

We don't have a child, do we?

Well, not that I know of,

and, I think I'd probably
be aware of that one.

Do you have time, Larry?
Come on, I'm serious.

Um, yeah, I guess, yeah.

So, can we, maybe this week,

have lunch?

I guess I can have lunch, yeah.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

What are you doing?

I'm tapping you on the shoulder.

Mm, you know what?

I'm really not in the mood,

to tell you the truth.

Is it alright if we don't do it?

I'm sorry, is that okay?

You're not in the mood to do it?

Uh, not really.

I'm sorry, is that okay?

So, even if you wanted to do it,

you couldn't?

I can't do it, yeah.

Why can't you do it tonight?

Remember, the other
night you just said

all I have to do is
tap you on the shoulder

and you're ready.

I'm kind of tapped out.

Tapped out?

You mean...

Why would you do that?

I don't know, it was there.

I think it's
a little interesting

that we just ran
into that woman, Lucy.

Do you think
that's a coincidence?

We ran into this woman,

who happens to have
really large breasts,

and really beautiful...

So, you were thinking of

this woman Lucy
the whole time you were...

No, not the whole time.

She made a brief appearance
and said, "goodbye".

Was I in the mix there?

What, you?

Yeah.

I wouldn't defile you like that,

you don't know what
goes on in those things,

you don't want any
part of that world,

you don't wanna be
involved in that.

It's complimentary to you,

that you're not
involved in that.

But, it's a great idea

to bring your ex-girlfriends in.

I can degrade and defile her.

You know, I have to say...

I'm not crazy about
you sitting around

thinking about Lucy
montone, or other women,

ex-girlfriends that you know.

Okay, Lucy montone is out,

she's made her last appearance.

That's it.

Yeah, I didn't particularly
care for her anyway.

Is that right?

Yeah, she's got a bad attitude,

does not participate
in the lesbian scenes,

very hard to get along with.

You know, she's like
a prima Donna.

I don't need any
prima Donnas, you know.

Yeah, no, no, ex-girlfriends.

Not Lucy, not any of
the ex-girlfriends.

That's fair, that's
completely legitimate.

I'm gonna bring back
the young Sophia loren.

Okay?

Okay.

The young Sophia loren...

Who wouldn't?

This is from Cheryl.

Wow.

Hmm?

Yeah.

That's one of those
things you go, "wow",

blue label!"

You like that?

That's unbelievable.

You drink that?

Yeah, of course.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

I'm call her this afternoon
and thank her.

Don't drink it all at once.

No, I won't drink it all once.

Did the director
get a hold of her?

Yeah, yeah, she talked
to the director.

Alright, cool.

So, you meeting your
ex-girlfriend for lunch?

Hey, here she is.

Hi, Lucy.

Hey.

Found a spot on the street.

Hi, how you doing?

Good, how are you today?

This is Jeff Greene, my manager.

Hey, how are you?

Very well, thanks.

I know you.

Oh, really?

Yeah, I saw you in
that hurricane movie.

Oh, that's sweet, but I think

you're thinking of Jamie gertz.

( Jeff ) well, she
was in the tornado.

I did an asteroid.

Asteroid, hurricane, same thing.

You were very good.

Thank you.

So?

Well, we're gonna
go have some lunch.

( Jeff ) yeah, I'm hungry too.

Well, they got some
good places around here.

( Jeff ) they have great
places around here.

This is the best one in town,

right here, it's the best one.

A good lunch,
this is the place to go.

( Lucy ) great to meet
you, enjoy your lunch.

Thank you.

Wow.

You're just a big bowl of wrong.

Ooh, goodnight, nurse!

And you didn't go the the prom?

I didn't even know
there was a prom.

I can't believe we never
talked about this.

I had no idea that
a prom even existed.

Your parents, your brother,

didn't alert you to...?

No.

You'd think I would have
heard about in school,

but, I didn't.

Anyway, what's going on?

I'm very curious as to why

you invited me to lunch.

Well, okay, remember
when we were dating,

and I told you
about my stepfather,

and, what happened?

Yup, yup.

And, did not breathe
a word of it to anyone.

Good, 'cause you're
the only person

I ever told about that,

but, I kind of feel
like what happened,

I feel like it's
really starting to

effect my life, a lot, now.

And there's something called
an incest survivor group.

So, I don't wanna go alone,

and I was thinking, maybe...

Could you go with me?

Do you want me to spell it out?

Can you go with
me Larry, please?

You want me to go to the
incest group with you?

Yeah.

What would I do there?

You'd just be there with me.

There's nobody else

you feel comfortable going with?

Larry, there's nobody else

who knows about what happened,

except for,
you know, my stepdad.

I'm certainly not
gonna bring him.

Are you sure that you qualify
with your stepfather,

is that considered incest?

God, Larry!

No, if it's your
stepfather, Larry,

it's considered a date!

With all due respect
to your ordeal, but...

I was just wondering
if they consider

that incest or not.

So, I guess it's
a legitimate question,

but, the answer is, "yes",

they consider that incest.

If you don't wanna go,
I'm not gonna make you do it.

I'll go, yeah.

Are you comfortable with that?

I want you to be comfortable,

I want you to be okay, so...

Uh, hi.

What are you doing here?

I didn't know you
were gonna be here.

Well, sometimes when
we're not together,

I go to restaurants.

I guess we're all here.

( Cheryl ) hi...

( Larry ) yeah, you
remember her from...

And that's Nancy.

Lucy, hi, nice to meet you.

Nancy's a friend of Cheryl's,

and a friend of mine, too.

Thanks, Larry.

So, what's going on?

Just a little lunch.

Do you wanna sit down...

Oh, no, no, no.

Sit, sit, why don't you sit?

No, no, no...

We need our time alone.

We're gonna go eat.

Good to see you.

And you.

It was great to see you,

I knew I'd see you again.

Yeah, it was nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

( Nancy ) bye-bye, Larry.

Bye.

( Alarm chirping )

( Jeff ) hey!

Hey!

Hey, fat man!

Oh, man, listen, uh,

that chick you had lunch with.

Is she married?

Uh-uh.

No?

Is she going out with anybody?

Hey, you got her number,

by some chance?

What do you want her number for?

Uh, just, representation stuff.

Talk to her about
working with her.

So, you wanna work with her,

I understand.

You just wanna help her career.

Just wanna help
her out, that's all.

Yeah, I'll call your house,

and I'll leave it with susie.

How's that?

You know what?

Just leave it at the office.

Okay, I'll leave it
at the office.

Thank you, very much,
I appreciate it,

you're a good man.

You're a great guy,
helping her out like that.

I'm not a good man,
you're a great man.

My name is Cynthia,

and I'm an incest survivor.

Okay, this is the part
where you guys say,

"hello, Cynthia."

Hello, Cynthia. Hello, Cynthia.

You'll get used to
it, you're new.

I wanna commend you all

for having the courage
to step forward.

I want you all to feel safe.

And this is our
number one rule here,

what is said in this room,

stays in this room.

We have total anonymity here.

And if we could, right now,

put our hands together,

and this sort of establishes

a circle of sharing.

I want you all
to feel comfortable

with each other.

That all being said,
I want to remind you,

and say this with me,

it's not my fault.

It's not my fault.
It's not my fault.

Good.

On that note,
if you'd like to share.

Um, my name's Gwendolyn,

and I'm an incest survivor.

Hello, Gwendolyn.

It's really scary to say that.

My first perpetrator
was my grandfather,

who's a very dashing,
handsome man.

He looked like Tyrone power.

He would come into
my room wearing a mask

and we would play
Zorro and consuelo

and he would make a "z"
on my tummy with a feather

and then later, with his sword.

( Coughing )

The next incident was
at a family reunion

up at our house in casaic.

They had laid out
platters of great food,

one of which was
my favorite dish,

ambrosia, you know,

that fruit salad
with the marshmallows

and the coconut
and the cherries.

And my uncle Pete
on my father's side

and my uncle ned
on my mother's side

approached me and told me that

they could help me
with the recipe

and teach me how to make it.

So they took me into the house,

into a back bedroom,

and, became overly avuncular,

which was really odd

because they never
really got along.

And they were even bickering

while they were
having sex with me,

arguing about who was
gonna stand guard

and positions and technique,

and, you know,
undermining each other,

berating each other
while they were doing it.

There's one more event
I'd like to talk about.

I'm not sure if it counts.

It was my stepbrother,

does a stepbrother count?

It's not a really
blood relative.

So, does it count?

( Cynthia ) step counts.

Remember that everybody,
step counts.

( Gwendolyn ) well, I
think that I'll save it

for another meeting.

I've taken up a lot of time.

You know, it really feels good

to unburden myself, you know.

This means that today
I don't have to cut myself

or put cigarettes out...

So, it's, like,

I go to visit my family,

and, they just deny
my existence, you know?

"You're not there,
you're not there."

I'm right here!

I wanna scream at them,
"I'm here, I'm here...!

I'm here!!"

Thanks for letting me share,

thanks, so much.

( Cynthia ) thank you, Trudy.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay, next.

You're up.

Go ahead.

My name is Todd,

and, I'm an incest survivor.

Hi, Todd. Hi, Todd.

Hello.

I had sex with my uncle,

when I was twelve.

He lived in great neck.

He was a doctor, an osteopath.

I don't even know what they do,

but, I know they're doctors.

It's something to do
with muscles, I think.

That's neither here
nor there, really.

I told you I was gonna
have lunch with her.

I know.

It's so different to walk in

and actually see
you guys together.

Hey, if I like her so much,

how come I broke up with her?

You broke up with her?

Oh, right, yes,

I know that's impossible,

for an idiot like me

to ever break up with a woman.

Well, it just seems like...

Fine, you can go back
to your "vagina monologues",

thank you.

Oh, speaking of,

I'm supposed to meet the
director tomorrow at 11:30.

I broke up with her.

That's great.

Well, it just doesn't seem...

It's impossible, yeah.

I'm not saying impossible.

Okay, so, you're supposed to
meet the director tomorrow.

I don't have the car.

Oh, would you like a ride?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I'll give you a ride.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Listen to this,
I say, "you look great."

"And she says, so do you.

"I say, but, I only have

"this white cotton bra
and underpants.

"Then she undresses me slowly.

"The alcohol has gone to my head

"and I'm loose and ready.

"She gently and slowly
lays me out on the bed

"and just our bodies
rubbing makes me come.

"Then she does everything
to me and my vagina

"that I always thought
was nasty before,

"and, wow, I'm so hot,

so wild."

What are you doing?

What do you mean,
what am I doing?

I'm initiating.

No, no, no, listen,
I've got to read this

before I meet this
woman tomorrow.

Come on, give me five minutes.

No, I am in the middle of this!

Two minutes and we'll be done.

Why would I?

"Afterward, the gorgeous lady
teaches me everything

"about my vagina.

"She makes me play with
myself in front of her

"and she tells me
to always know how

"to give myself pleasure,

so I'll never need
to rely on a man."

If they took
all the pillows away,

there was no more
pillows in the world,

do you think that would

affect you adversely?

Do you think
you would notice it?

Do you think it
would bother you,

like, throughout the day...

"There's no pillows
on this couch."

I know at night,

it would have
an affect at night.

What?

What? A world without pillows.

A "twilight zone" episode,

all the pillows are gone.

There are no pillows.

There's cushions to sit on,
but no pillows.

Cheryl?

Wendy, hi.

It is such a
pleasure to meet you.

Oh, the pleasure is all mine.

I saw you in a
production of "company",

in New York years ago.

You were sensational.

Thank you.

Todd?

What are you doing here?

It's Larry.

Wait, do you guys
know each other?

( Wendy ) well, we
can't talk about it.

Okay, this is my husband, Larry.

So, how do you know her?

Well, you know what it was,

it was that newsstand
on las palmas,

and he was teasing me

'cause I was reading
"dog fancy" magazine.

Right?

Right, yeah, at the newsstand.

He was so funny, by the way.

You are so lucky to have
such a funny husband.

But, you called him "Todd".

It's the name he gave me.

I get sick of saying Larry.

So, I say "Todd" to
strangers sometimes.

On occasion, I make up
stupid names for myself.

I have told people
that my name was "Thor"...

Okay, alright...

Let's just wait a second.

This just seems very odd.

Listen, listen,

do you guys know each other?

You have nothing
to be worried about.

It's just kind of personal.

Oh, it is?

I can't deal with this.

I am sorry, I'm sorry.

This is too strange for me.

Oh, no, no, Cheryl,
don't do this, please.

You're gonna have
to find another actress.

Oh, please, Cheryl,
don't do this.

I'm begging you.

It's not what you think.

( Cheryl ) Larry, I'll
talk to you later.

Listen, I wanna make
one thing very clear,

you cannot mention one word
of what you heard.

Don't worry, I would
never betray you.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

( Larry ) she had sex
with her grandfather!

Then she had sex with
her uncles, both uncles!

One on her mother's side
and one on her father's side,

and they didn't even get along!

Even as they were doing it,

they were fighting over
who was gonna guard the door.

And then she had sex
with her stepbrother,

and she wasn't even sure
if that was incest or not,

and I completely understood,

and she even asked
the group leader.

And the group leader said
that a step is incest...

Right.

And she wasn't even done,
she had more,

she had to stop,
she's gonna finish next week.

That's horrible, I had no idea.

And the whole time they're
telling us about anonymity.

You can't say
anything to anybody

about what's being
said in the room.

So, no wonder.

What can you say?

Oh, my god, and
then I stormed out,

and I told her to
get another actress,

and I've just ruined
all my chances.

Well, I'm sure that they
didn't find anybody yet.

Why don't you call her up?

I can't call her now.

Won't she know that you've
talked to me about this?

'Cause how else would we have
resolved it so quickly?

Right, right, she'll know
that I told you.

Yeah.

What the hell are
we gonna tell her?

Wendy, I just wanted
to tell you how sorry I am

about everything
that happened today,

and, I've been talking to Larry

and he told me all about
how you met at

the gamblers anonymous meeting.

Right.

And I'm not gonna say a word,

cross my heart.

I completely understand.

Larry has laid his cards out,

on the table.

You know what?

I didn't even know
he had a gambling problem

until today.

So, imagine what
we've been talking

back and forth about.

So, listen, I just
wanted to apologize

for everything, and
I wanted to let you know

that I am absolutely thrilled,

and I'd be honored
if I could do the play...

You've re-cast already?

Lucy montone?

Well, that seems so sudden.

I was just there.

Her manager called you.

Jeff Greene?

I did the new "dark shadows"
for a couple of years,

and then I did "rock cop".

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,

that was good, "rock cop".

Wow, blue label.

Yep.

It was a gift from Cheryl David.

That's ironic.

Are you gonna be alright
driving after we drink?

Oh, we'll wait it out.

Here's to
"the vagina monologues".

Hey, here's to the vagina.

( Doorbell )

( Larry ) hey, that
must be Nathan.

Yeah, yeah, I'll get it.

Hi, please come in.

Oh, good to see you.

Hi, hey!

I am so sorry I'm late.

Oh, don't worry about it.

There was an
accident on the 405,

a one-car accident,
terrible accident,

lots of traffic,
confusion and so on.

I'm a doctor, I had to stop.

Not that I could do anything.

Finally, they got him
out of the car,

big, big fat guy

and a woman, a real
jazzy number.

Both of them obviously
drunk out of their minds.

He seemed okay,

but, she's gonna be
laid up for a while,

I'm afraid.

She's really in bad shape.

And this car,
this beautiful car.

Oh, crushed.

A '57 Chevy.

You know, a classic.

Convertible?

Yeah, convertible.

Oh, I'd give my eye teeth
for that thing.

Right, right.

You guys must be starved.

Yeah, well, I'm hungry.

Wanna go?

Yeah, let's go.

You know, Jeff has
a '57 Chevy convertible.

I know... And he is fat.

Hey! Hi!

Oh, my god.

( Larry ) alright, we're
not gonna stay long.

We just came to wish you luck.

Thank you.

( Nathan ) I won't kiss you,

it'll mess up your makeup.

No, please.

But you look gorgeous.

Oh, thank you.

Look at that pompadour
you got there.

It's not a pompadour.

No, somebody spent a lot of time

getting my hair to
look just like this.

Oh, gosh, I'm trying to
shake out the nerves...

Oh, don't be nervous.

You only have to talk about it.

You don't have to show it.

Okay, thank you.

Everybody's a comedian.

See how much he's taught me?

Yeah!

I hate to run you guys out,

but I need a few minutes
to collect my thoughts.

Okay, uncle and I,
we'll be gone, goodbye.

( Wendy ) hey, hey,
how's my trooper?

This is the director, Wendy.

This is my uncle, Dr. Gordon.

How do you do?

The osteopath?

Yeah, how'd you know?

Get out of here.

What?

Get out of here!

Get out of here,
you fucking ece of shit!

Get out, you filthy animal!

You fucking turd!
Get out of here!!

How dare you?!

Wait for me outside.

I'll meet you after the show.

( Wendy ) you filthy beast!

You coward!

You fucking asshole, you coward!

Captions copyright 2000
home box office

a division of time Warner
entertainment company, l.P.

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