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1
00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:20,967
Cheryl, come here for a second.
2
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,100
What?
3
00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:27,233
Look at this.
4
00:00:27,267 --> 00:00:30,233
What's going on?
5
00:00:30,267 --> 00:00:31,233
Yeah, what's going on?
6
00:00:31,267 --> 00:00:32,367
What is going on?
7
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:34,367
It's just material.
8
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:35,367
Yeah, I know.
9
00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:37,600
But, really, look at these pant.
10
00:00:37,633 --> 00:00:38,967
I've seen pants bunch up before.
11
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:41,100
I have never seen a bunch-up
like this in my life.
12
00:00:41,133 --> 00:00:42,167
I have.
13
00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:44,433
This is like a five inch
bunch-up I got here.
14
00:00:44,467 --> 00:00:45,809
Well, you don't
have to play with it.
15
00:00:45,833 --> 00:00:46,900
Is it a bad thing?
16
00:00:46,933 --> 00:00:48,933
Maybe it's not such a
bad thing, you know?
17
00:00:48,967 --> 00:00:50,333
Because you want people to think
18
00:00:50,367 --> 00:00:51,643
that you constantly
have an erection?
19
00:00:51,667 --> 00:00:54,400
Is it a bad thing for me
to walk around like that?
20
00:00:54,433 --> 00:00:55,400
Yeah, it is.
21
00:00:55,433 --> 00:00:56,400
I got a tent.
22
00:00:56,433 --> 00:00:57,400
It's a big one.
23
00:00:57,433 --> 00:00:58,767
Hey, um,
24
00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:01,633
you want to go to that
Dustin Hoffman movie tonight?
25
00:01:01,667 --> 00:01:02,900
It's Monday.
26
00:01:02,933 --> 00:01:04,700
What do I do on Monday nights?
27
00:01:04,733 --> 00:01:06,567
I don't know, what?
You take a bath?
28
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,066
Yoga.
29
00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:10,067
You don't have to
do it every Monday.
30
00:01:10,100 --> 00:01:11,800
Yes, I do.
31
00:01:11,833 --> 00:01:13,733
I don't have anybody to go with.
32
00:01:13,767 --> 00:01:16,500
Go by yourself.
33
00:01:16,533 --> 00:01:18,066
Maybe I'll call Richard Lewis.
34
00:01:18,067 --> 00:01:19,167
Call Richard Lewis.
35
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:21,467
Richie boy!
36
00:01:21,500 --> 00:01:22,967
What are you doing?
37
00:01:23,067 --> 00:01:25,633
Well, I was thinking about
going to see that, uh,
38
00:01:25,667 --> 00:01:28,400
Dustin Hoffman movie.
39
00:01:28,433 --> 00:01:29,633
You're kidding?
40
00:01:29,667 --> 00:01:32,233
Yeah, at the crest.
41
00:01:32,267 --> 00:01:35,300
Yeah, okay, I'll...
42
00:01:35,333 --> 00:01:37,767
Sure, no, I don't care,
no, that's fine.
43
00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:40,500
9:00.
44
00:01:40,533 --> 00:01:42,300
Okay.
45
00:01:42,333 --> 00:01:44,133
Alright, I'll see you
later, probably.
46
00:01:44,167 --> 00:01:45,867
I'm not sure if I'm going still.
47
00:01:45,900 --> 00:01:47,900
Otherwise, I'll see you
on Saturday night.
48
00:01:47,933 --> 00:01:49,367
Alright, bye.
49
00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:52,500
So, is he going?
50
00:01:52,533 --> 00:01:55,767
Yeah, he's going, but, um,
51
00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:57,433
you know, he's got a date.
52
00:01:57,467 --> 00:01:58,967
Is this his new girl?
53
00:01:59,067 --> 00:02:01,767
Yeah, you know we're having
dinner with them on Saturday.
54
00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:03,767
Right, what is she like?
55
00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:04,809
I don't know,
I've never met her.
56
00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:06,367
Oh.
57
00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:07,809
He could've invited me
to go along with him.
58
00:02:07,833 --> 00:02:09,233
I don't know
what the big deal is.
59
00:02:09,267 --> 00:02:10,567
He's going to the same movie...
60
00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,333
You just said he had a date.
61
00:02:12,367 --> 00:02:13,800
He has a date!
62
00:02:13,833 --> 00:02:15,400
Well, so what?
63
00:02:15,433 --> 00:02:17,900
Larry, you don't ask somebody
to go to the movies
64
00:02:17,933 --> 00:02:19,100
when you have a date.
65
00:02:19,133 --> 00:02:22,267
( Phone )
66
00:02:22,300 --> 00:02:23,933
Here.
67
00:02:25,167 --> 00:02:27,467
Hello?
68
00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:28,633
Hey, Nancy.
69
00:02:28,667 --> 00:02:31,333
Oh, just hanging around,
talking to Larry.
70
00:02:31,367 --> 00:02:33,433
What are you doing?
71
00:02:33,467 --> 00:02:35,066
Oh, really?
72
00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:37,833
You know what? You should go
to the movies with Larry.
73
00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:38,833
Yeah.
74
00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:41,100
He's going to that, uh...
75
00:02:41,133 --> 00:02:43,267
That Dustin Hoffman movie.
76
00:02:43,300 --> 00:02:45,200
Yeah, yeah, no, he would
love to go with you.
77
00:02:45,233 --> 00:02:47,667
This is perfect, hold on.
78
00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:49,467
She wants to go.
79
00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:53,066
She wants to go.
80
00:02:53,067 --> 00:02:55,067
Hello?
81
00:02:58,167 --> 00:03:01,267
( Dialing )
82
00:03:01,300 --> 00:03:03,700
( Phone ringing )
83
00:03:03,733 --> 00:03:04,733
( Male ) hello?
84
00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:06,100
Hey, Jeff!
85
00:03:06,133 --> 00:03:07,100
Hey, how you doing?
86
00:03:07,133 --> 00:03:08,933
I can't believe
I got you in your car.
87
00:03:08,967 --> 00:03:11,067
I'm your manager,
I'm always available.
88
00:03:11,100 --> 00:03:12,800
I love that.
89
00:03:12,833 --> 00:03:14,109
Well, there you go,
what's going on?
90
00:03:14,133 --> 00:03:15,567
Nothing,
I'm going to the movies.
91
00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:17,133
Who you going with?
92
00:03:17,167 --> 00:03:19,076
My wife tells her friend
that I'm looking for somebody
93
00:03:19,100 --> 00:03:20,700
to go to the movies with.
94
00:03:20,733 --> 00:03:22,476
So, now I'm going to the movies
with my wife's friend,
95
00:03:22,500 --> 00:03:24,167
who I find really annoying.
96
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:25,633
Forget about all that tonight.
97
00:03:25,667 --> 00:03:27,066
You wanna
play golf this weekend?
98
00:03:27,067 --> 00:03:29,200
I don't know,
I'll have to ask Hitler.
99
00:03:29,233 --> 00:03:31,066
( Male ) Hitler?( Fe) Hitler?
100
00:03:31,067 --> 00:03:32,967
( Female )
who's he talking about?
101
00:03:33,067 --> 00:03:35,600
Hey, who's in your car?
102
00:03:35,633 --> 00:03:37,733
( Jeff ) just my parents,
they're in town.
103
00:03:37,767 --> 00:03:39,733
Well, get me off
the speaker phone, please?!
104
00:03:39,767 --> 00:03:41,200
Hold on.
105
00:03:41,233 --> 00:03:42,376
Now you're off
the speaker phone.
106
00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:43,667
What's the matter with you?!
107
00:03:43,700 --> 00:03:45,309
I thought I was having
a private conversation!
108
00:03:45,333 --> 00:03:47,300
I didn't know anybody else
was in your car!
109
00:03:47,333 --> 00:03:48,300
Hold on one second.
110
00:03:48,333 --> 00:03:51,067
Relax back there, relax!
111
00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:52,100
Hello.
112
00:03:52,133 --> 00:03:53,100
Oh, forget it.
113
00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:54,733
I'll talk to you tomorrow.
114
00:03:54,767 --> 00:03:56,733
Alright, call me tomorrow, bye.
115
00:03:56,767 --> 00:03:58,167
Goodbye.
116
00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:12,233
Excuse me.
117
00:04:18,100 --> 00:04:19,167
Is that a problem for you?
118
00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:20,233
Excuse me.
119
00:04:20,267 --> 00:04:21,700
Yeah, that's exactly right.
120
00:04:21,733 --> 00:04:23,243
Could you be a little bit nicer
about it and just go by?
121
00:04:23,267 --> 00:04:25,767
You make this big sigh,
I'm just trying to get by.
122
00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:27,443
I'm sitting here, and you could
enter the other way, please?
123
00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:28,767
Could you just move your legs?
124
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:30,066
What are you doing?
Are you looking at my breasts?
125
00:04:30,067 --> 00:04:31,400
You're looking at my breasts.
126
00:04:31,433 --> 00:04:33,709
I'm not looking at your breasts,
I'm trying to get to my seat.
127
00:04:33,733 --> 00:04:34,900
He's looking at my breasts.
128
00:04:34,933 --> 00:04:36,533
Yeah, yeah, you and
your special breasts.
129
00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:37,933
Just excuse me, please?
130
00:04:37,967 --> 00:04:40,100
Please, just go by...
Without stepping on my foot.
131
00:04:40,133 --> 00:04:42,376
You wear that dress 'cause you want
people to look at your shoes, right?
132
00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:43,367
Is that it?
133
00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:44,733
Prick!
134
00:04:48,133 --> 00:04:50,233
Can you believe that?
Did you hear that?
135
00:04:50,267 --> 00:04:51,233
I did.
136
00:04:51,267 --> 00:04:52,433
Jerk.
137
00:04:52,467 --> 00:04:53,700
I hate her.
138
00:04:53,733 --> 00:04:54,900
What a sick fuck.
139
00:04:54,933 --> 00:04:58,667
I hate her, man.
140
00:04:58,700 --> 00:05:01,333
She doesn't even move her knees
to let somebody in?
141
00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:03,767
She's sitting on the aisle,
142
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:06,267
she doesn't expect
somebody to come in?
143
00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:08,867
Oh, I'm so sorry, you okay?
144
00:05:08,900 --> 00:05:11,900
You alright? You got
really upset, didn't you?
145
00:05:11,933 --> 00:05:14,467
Well, don't worry,
it's over now.
146
00:05:38,667 --> 00:05:41,100
Oh, shit, there she is.
147
00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:42,567
Yo, d!
148
00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:44,267
You came!
149
00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:45,509
This is one of my best friends.
150
00:05:45,533 --> 00:05:46,667
This is Larry David.
151
00:05:46,700 --> 00:05:49,267
Nice to meet you.
152
00:05:49,300 --> 00:05:50,433
This is Sofia.
153
00:05:50,467 --> 00:05:51,567
And, uh...
154
00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:52,567
Nancy.
155
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:53,567
Nancy?
156
00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:55,733
I'm a huge fan of yours.
157
00:05:55,767 --> 00:05:57,066
You're so funny.
158
00:05:57,067 --> 00:05:58,167
Well, you know...
159
00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:01,400
Only on deeply
religious holidays.
160
00:06:01,433 --> 00:06:02,400
Did you like the film?
161
00:06:02,433 --> 00:06:03,467
Yeah, not bad.
162
00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:04,467
Oh, it was great.
163
00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:05,467
It was fabulous.
164
00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:06,467
It was great.
165
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:07,567
Why don't we go, you know,
166
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,467
let's get a little cappuccino
and some pizza.
167
00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:11,367
On me, on me!
168
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:13,167
It's too late for cappuccino.
169
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:17,467
I'll be up 'til 5:00 in the morning
if I have a cup of coffee now.
170
00:06:17,500 --> 00:06:18,643
Did you ever hear the word,
what is it, decaf?
171
00:06:18,667 --> 00:06:19,833
Decaf doesn't work that well.
172
00:06:19,867 --> 00:06:22,167
That'll keep me up 'til,
you know, two.
173
00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:26,067
I get the distinct feeling that
I'm, like, himmler's ghost.
174
00:06:28,633 --> 00:06:30,667
It's late anyway,
I'm gonna go home.
175
00:06:30,700 --> 00:06:32,567
What about dinner?
176
00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:34,400
Are we still on
for dinner Saturday?
177
00:06:34,433 --> 00:06:36,667
We're going out with
the David's Saturday night.
178
00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:38,066
Yeah.
179
00:06:38,067 --> 00:06:39,067
We're gonna meet his wife.
180
00:06:39,068 --> 00:06:40,267
Oh.
181
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:41,733
We're gonna go out and...
182
00:06:41,767 --> 00:06:44,267
Let's make it a leisurely
dinner, if you don't mind.
183
00:06:44,300 --> 00:06:45,767
What does that mean? Leisurely?
184
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:47,633
Well, somewhere between
two and 20 hours.
185
00:06:47,667 --> 00:06:48,767
I don't know.
186
00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:50,176
I don't know what
that means, leisurely.
187
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:51,500
I love you, nice to meet you.
188
00:06:51,533 --> 00:06:53,500
Hope I see you again.
189
00:06:53,533 --> 00:06:55,567
Alright, I'll see you Saturday.
190
00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:56,609
You sure everything's alright?
191
00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:57,967
Yeah.
192
00:06:58,067 --> 00:06:59,467
Alright.
193
00:07:09,967 --> 00:07:11,700
Hey! Hey!
194
00:07:11,733 --> 00:07:12,800
How was the movie?
195
00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:15,233
Oh, not bad.
196
00:07:15,267 --> 00:07:18,167
So, not quite sure
how to tell you this,
197
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:22,600
but I think your friend Nancy
198
00:07:22,633 --> 00:07:24,867
thinks she got me aroused
in the movie.
199
00:07:24,900 --> 00:07:28,067
Why would she think that?
200
00:07:28,100 --> 00:07:31,066
Because of the tent in the
pants, and she looked down.
201
00:07:31,067 --> 00:07:32,067
No.
202
00:07:32,067 --> 00:07:33,067
Yeah.
203
00:07:33,067 --> 00:07:34,067
No.
204
00:07:34,068 --> 00:07:35,133
Yeah.
205
00:07:35,167 --> 00:07:37,567
She thought that
there was some garbage there.
206
00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:39,533
She looked over
207
00:07:39,567 --> 00:07:40,609
and she looked at your crotch?
208
00:07:40,633 --> 00:07:41,600
She looked at it.
209
00:07:41,633 --> 00:07:42,600
She looked at it.
210
00:07:42,633 --> 00:07:43,600
She looked down.
211
00:07:43,633 --> 00:07:44,733
What was her reaction?
212
00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:48,600
Like it was awkward.
213
00:07:48,633 --> 00:07:50,267
There was
a little twinkle, yeah.
214
00:07:50,300 --> 00:07:52,267
You're sure that she looked over
215
00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:54,200
and thought
that you were excited?
216
00:07:54,233 --> 00:07:55,233
90% sure.
217
00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:57,467
Can't be 100% sure,
I'm 90% sure.
218
00:07:57,500 --> 00:08:01,767
That's really weird.
219
00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:03,067
It's very creepy.
220
00:08:03,100 --> 00:08:04,500
I told you about these pants!
221
00:08:04,533 --> 00:08:05,867
I know, it's just material.
222
00:08:05,900 --> 00:08:07,667
It's obvious...
223
00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:09,100
It's not obvious!
224
00:08:09,133 --> 00:08:11,767
Look, look!
225
00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:14,100
So, she didn't say
anything to you about it?
226
00:08:14,133 --> 00:08:15,100
You didn't say anything...
227
00:08:15,133 --> 00:08:17,567
No, there was no time,
the movie started.
228
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:19,067
And you weren't.
229
00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:20,233
What?
230
00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:22,767
You weren aroused.
231
00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:23,800
No, look at this!
232
00:08:23,833 --> 00:08:24,800
I'm just making sure.
233
00:08:24,833 --> 00:08:25,909
I told you about these pants!
234
00:08:25,933 --> 00:08:28,200
But you didn't believe me,
you scoffed.
235
00:08:28,233 --> 00:08:30,867
Because any idiot could tell
that was just material.
236
00:08:30,900 --> 00:08:32,400
She's your friend.
237
00:08:32,433 --> 00:08:35,533
Well...
238
00:08:35,567 --> 00:08:38,300
Maybe I'll call her.
239
00:08:38,333 --> 00:08:40,066
No, no, no.
240
00:08:40,067 --> 00:08:42,333
No, don't do that, that's crazy.
241
00:08:42,367 --> 00:08:45,833
Oh, by the way, I've got
some more news, too.
242
00:08:45,867 --> 00:08:48,066
You know, in case this
wasn't enough for you.
243
00:08:48,067 --> 00:08:49,843
We're not going out to dinner
with Richard Lewis
244
00:08:49,867 --> 00:08:51,333
and his girlfriend
on Saturday night.
245
00:08:51,367 --> 00:08:52,333
That's out.
246
00:08:52,367 --> 00:08:54,267
Why?
247
00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:57,433
Um, I got in a fight
with his girlfriend...
248
00:08:57,467 --> 00:09:00,567
Before the movie started.
249
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:02,400
Larry, why?
250
00:09:02,433 --> 00:09:04,109
How in the world could you get
in a fight with Richard's...
251
00:09:04,133 --> 00:09:05,400
It wasn't my fault.
252
00:09:05,433 --> 00:09:07,767
I was trying to get to my seat
and she wouldn't let me go,
253
00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:10,533
and, we got... he wasn't there.
254
00:09:10,567 --> 00:09:13,133
I'll tell you about it, I just
have to go to the bathroom.
255
00:09:13,167 --> 00:09:16,700
Oh, um, Jeff called and
left a message on the machine.
256
00:09:16,733 --> 00:09:19,233
And he said that he's sorry.
257
00:09:21,567 --> 00:09:22,933
What does that mean?
258
00:09:22,967 --> 00:09:24,200
I don't know.
259
00:09:24,233 --> 00:09:26,100
If he leaves a message
saying he's sorry,
260
00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:27,100
you don't know what that means?
261
00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:29,066
He's sorry about what happened?
262
00:09:29,067 --> 00:09:31,733
Yeah, like you knew, you would
know what that message meant.
263
00:09:31,767 --> 00:09:33,167
What happened?
264
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:34,567
That's weird, I have no idea.
265
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:35,776
You have no idea what happened?
266
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:36,767
No.
267
00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:38,076
He would just
leave a message saying...
268
00:09:38,100 --> 00:09:39,100
I'm thinking about it.
269
00:09:39,133 --> 00:09:40,800
I don't even know
what he's talking about.
270
00:09:40,833 --> 00:09:42,200
I'll talk to him tomorrow.
271
00:09:44,567 --> 00:09:45,700
Strange night, huh?
272
00:09:45,733 --> 00:09:46,967
Yeah, very strange.
273
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:54,867
* oh de oh
274
00:09:54,900 --> 00:09:59,066
* oh de oh...
275
00:09:59,067 --> 00:10:01,967
Hello? Yeah.
276
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:05,700
Um, do you know
how much longer he's gonna be?
277
00:10:05,733 --> 00:10:07,333
Okay.
278
00:10:08,367 --> 00:10:11,167
So, it was really uncool
279
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:12,743
to just leave that message,
"I'm sorry", on my machine,
280
00:10:12,767 --> 00:10:13,900
'cause my wife...
281
00:10:13,933 --> 00:10:16,367
You know, she asked me,
"what is he sorry about?"
282
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:17,800
And I had no answer.
283
00:10:17,833 --> 00:10:19,300
Oh, I'm sorry.
284
00:10:19,333 --> 00:10:20,909
I'm not gonna say
that I called her "Hitler",
285
00:10:20,933 --> 00:10:23,200
and your parents
heard it in the car.
286
00:10:23,233 --> 00:10:24,200
No.
287
00:10:24,233 --> 00:10:25,933
Hello?
288
00:10:25,967 --> 00:10:27,576
Okay, you know what?
I'm just gonna call back.
289
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:28,833
Okay?
290
00:10:28,867 --> 00:10:32,100
And the thing is,
she's gonna ask me again.
291
00:10:32,133 --> 00:10:35,333
Well, we'll think of something.
292
00:10:35,367 --> 00:10:37,467
What are you doin',
what are you writing?
293
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:40,200
I'm writing Kathy Griffin
a letter of apology.
294
00:10:40,233 --> 00:10:42,133
Why? What did you do?
295
00:10:42,167 --> 00:10:43,567
We did nothing to each other,
296
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:46,067
but just every week I end up
writing her an apology letter.
297
00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:49,000
What a job you have.
298
00:10:49,033 --> 00:10:50,176
You have to
write people letters?
299
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:51,167
I know.
300
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:52,167
It's ridiculous.
301
00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:53,500
It's crazy.
302
00:10:53,533 --> 00:10:54,500
Kathy Griffin's the only one
who doesn't understand.
303
00:10:54,533 --> 00:10:57,067
What if Kathy Griffin
called you up
304
00:10:57,100 --> 00:10:59,467
and said that she wanted me
to write a pilot for her,
305
00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:01,433
and you said,
306
00:11:01,467 --> 00:11:03,176
no, I wasn't available,
without consulting me.
307
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:04,400
Mm-hmm.
308
00:11:04,433 --> 00:11:07,267
If my wife ever asks me again,
which I'm sure she will,
309
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:08,567
that's what I could tell her.
310
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,700
That's why you said
you were sorry.
311
00:11:10,733 --> 00:11:12,167
Great, great, wonderful.
312
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:13,167
You like that?
313
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:14,300
Yes, very much.
314
00:11:14,333 --> 00:11:15,376
Yeah, it's quite good, isn't it?
315
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:16,367
So, we're lying together.
316
00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:17,600
Yeah.
317
00:11:17,633 --> 00:11:19,743
So that's our story, in case
my wife ever talks to you,
318
00:11:19,767 --> 00:11:21,133
Kathy Griffin...
319
00:11:21,167 --> 00:11:22,600
"Yeah, Kathy Griffin
called him up,
320
00:11:22,633 --> 00:11:27,100
"and, uh, he said I couldn't
write the pilot for her.
321
00:11:27,133 --> 00:11:28,167
"Without even asking me.
322
00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:29,567
He's an idiot, he's an idiot."
323
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:30,767
Who is?
324
00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:31,767
You are,
I'm talking to my wife now.
325
00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:34,500
"He's a big, fat idiot."
326
00:11:34,533 --> 00:11:36,066
Big, fat idiot?
327
00:11:36,067 --> 00:11:37,967
Tell your wife I'm an idiot.
328
00:11:38,067 --> 00:11:39,267
Don't say I'm a fat idiot.
329
00:11:39,300 --> 00:11:40,800
I'm kidding.
330
00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:41,800
Could you do me a favor?
331
00:11:41,833 --> 00:11:42,993
Write me a letter of apology.
332
00:11:43,067 --> 00:11:44,433
I will.
333
00:11:44,467 --> 00:11:46,400
For calling me
a fat idiot, listen.
334
00:11:46,433 --> 00:11:48,066
The other night when
you called your wife "Hitler"?
335
00:11:48,067 --> 00:11:49,343
My parents, you know,
were in the back?
336
00:11:49,367 --> 00:11:52,433
We had a gay cousin
that escaped Nazi Germany,
337
00:11:52,467 --> 00:11:54,733
so my parents are
very sensitive to it.
338
00:11:54,767 --> 00:11:56,567
Talk about being ostracized.
339
00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:57,567
Well, yeah.
340
00:11:57,600 --> 00:11:59,267
Gay Jew in Nazi Germany?
341
00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:00,609
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
342
00:12:00,633 --> 00:12:02,300
He must have had a hard time.
343
00:12:02,333 --> 00:12:03,300
Yep.
344
00:12:03,333 --> 00:12:04,767
What a combo.
345
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:05,943
Listen, can you do me a favor?
346
00:12:05,967 --> 00:12:07,900
Please, this afternoon,
come by the house
347
00:12:07,933 --> 00:12:10,200
and, apologize to my parents.
348
00:12:10,233 --> 00:12:12,066
It's for me,
they're here for another week.
349
00:12:12,067 --> 00:12:14,167
My father wants me
to drop you as a client!
350
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:15,409
He keeps on telling me everyday.
351
00:12:15,433 --> 00:12:16,867
"Drop him,
drop him as a client!"
352
00:12:16,900 --> 00:12:19,833
Because of one stupid,
little joke I made in the car?
353
00:12:19,867 --> 00:12:21,167
One stupid, little thing.
354
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,500
Because of the gay Jew cousin?
355
00:12:23,533 --> 00:12:25,100
They're very
sensitive about it...
356
00:12:25,133 --> 00:12:27,067
Of the gay Jew cousin.
357
00:12:27,100 --> 00:12:28,467
I gotta go meet them for lunch.
358
00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:31,500
I'll be home this afternoon,
please, please come by.
359
00:12:31,533 --> 00:12:34,066
Don't ever put me on that
speaker phone again
360
00:12:34,067 --> 00:12:35,176
in your car
if anybody's sitting there,
361
00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:36,167
ever again!
362
00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:37,167
If I'm by myself it's okay.
363
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:38,333
Yeah!
364
00:12:38,367 --> 00:12:39,809
Okay, but can you
do me a favor, please?
365
00:12:39,833 --> 00:12:42,066
Tell my parents you're sorry.
366
00:12:42,067 --> 00:12:45,167
Quickly zip in, zip out,
and tell them, alright?
367
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,176
Have you ever heard
of this new restaurant
368
00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:52,200
called "mama's boy"?
369
00:12:52,233 --> 00:12:53,233
Yeah, I heard it's great.
370
00:12:53,267 --> 00:12:54,233
Oh, yeah?
371
00:12:54,267 --> 00:12:55,533
Yeah.
372
00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:56,809
Oh, good, Cheryl and I are
going on Saturday night.
373
00:12:56,833 --> 00:12:57,900
We have reservations.
374
00:12:57,933 --> 00:12:59,533
With Lewis and his girlfriend?
375
00:12:59,567 --> 00:13:02,233
No, we were supposed to,
but that fell through.
376
00:13:02,267 --> 00:13:03,567
I should take my parents there.
377
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,300
You should.
378
00:13:05,333 --> 00:13:07,433
"Mama's boy."
379
00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:13,733
( Whistling )
380
00:13:13,767 --> 00:13:16,667
Nobody is gonna wanna see
her on another awards show.
381
00:13:16,700 --> 00:13:19,066
No, okay, I gotta go.
382
00:13:19,067 --> 00:13:20,067
Alright, bye.
383
00:13:20,068 --> 00:13:21,500
Hi.
384
00:13:21,533 --> 00:13:22,500
Did Richard Lewis call?
385
00:13:22,533 --> 00:13:23,900
Yes, and he's coming over.
386
00:13:23,933 --> 00:13:25,133
Oh.
387
00:13:25,167 --> 00:13:28,167
So, it'll probably be
a few minutes from now.
388
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,500
Um, Bob Shaw called.
389
00:13:30,533 --> 00:13:32,633
He just wanted to say hi.
390
00:13:32,667 --> 00:13:34,067
And your wife called twice.
391
00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:35,967
Okay, I don't need that.
392
00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:38,233
Q-tips? Okay.
393
00:13:38,267 --> 00:13:40,300
Yeah, I'm writing it down.
394
00:13:40,333 --> 00:13:42,200
A color wrap.
395
00:13:42,233 --> 00:13:44,700
Is that tin foil or plastic?
396
00:13:44,733 --> 00:13:47,066
Is that saran wrap?
397
00:13:47,067 --> 00:13:49,066
No, I don't know.
398
00:13:49,067 --> 00:13:51,800
Well, that's
what I thought, okay.
399
00:13:51,833 --> 00:13:54,467
Uh, yes, as a matter
of fact I did.
400
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:59,567
Um, what happened was
Kathy Griffin had called him
401
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:03,867
( knocking ) about the possibility
of me writing a pilot for her.
402
00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:06,066
She was interested in me
writing a pilot for her,
403
00:14:06,067 --> 00:14:07,143
and he never told me about it.
404
00:14:07,167 --> 00:14:08,833
He just said no
without telling me.
405
00:14:08,867 --> 00:14:11,700
So, that's what he said
he was sorry about.
406
00:14:11,733 --> 00:14:14,133
( Banging )
407
00:14:14,167 --> 00:14:16,533
Okay, yeah, I love you, too.
408
00:14:16,567 --> 00:14:18,333
Okay, bye.
409
00:14:21,167 --> 00:14:23,066
What are you looking at me
like that for?
410
00:14:23,067 --> 00:14:25,633
Because I've never been married,
and I think I'm in love,
411
00:14:25,667 --> 00:14:27,209
and I think you might have
ruined this for me.
412
00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:28,200
Come on, "ruined it."
413
00:14:28,233 --> 00:14:31,367
If I did, I did you a favor,
by the way.
414
00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:33,900
That's one of the most insensitive
things you have ever said.
415
00:14:33,933 --> 00:14:36,100
I don't think it's insensitive,
I think it's sensitive.
416
00:14:36,133 --> 00:14:38,233
I think it's sensitive,
I don't, I do.
417
00:14:38,267 --> 00:14:39,600
Let me tell you something.
418
00:14:39,633 --> 00:14:41,933
Now this is a woman
who knows seven languages.
419
00:14:41,967 --> 00:14:43,167
She's very sweet.
420
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:46,066
I'm taking a leak,
the movie's about to start.
421
00:14:46,067 --> 00:14:47,067
Look at me, can you respect...?
422
00:14:47,068 --> 00:14:49,600
I drove down in rush hour.
423
00:14:49,633 --> 00:14:51,300
And those seats are like this.
424
00:14:51,333 --> 00:14:53,233
She tried. She didn't try.
425
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:54,667
"Do you mind?!
426
00:14:54,700 --> 00:14:56,467
Can't you move?!"
427
00:14:56,500 --> 00:14:58,200
And then,
here's the coup de gras,
428
00:14:58,233 --> 00:15:00,667
you look at her breasts!
429
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:03,066
You're looking at
my girlfriend's breasts!
430
00:15:03,067 --> 00:15:04,367
They're not breasts,
431
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:07,066
they're just big
chemical balls, okay?
432
00:15:07,067 --> 00:15:08,067
They're not breasts.
433
00:15:08,067 --> 00:15:09,067
How do you know they're fake?
434
00:15:09,068 --> 00:15:10,500
I could take a guess.
435
00:15:10,533 --> 00:15:12,700
So, maybe they are fake,
what's the big deal?
436
00:15:12,733 --> 00:15:14,209
Nothing, don't call them
breasts, they're not breasts.
437
00:15:14,233 --> 00:15:15,867
First of all, I'm getting...
438
00:15:15,900 --> 00:15:18,533
I have that irregular heart thing,
and this is not a good thing.
439
00:15:18,567 --> 00:15:20,367
I'm a recovering alcoholic.
440
00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:21,800
This is all very bad for me.
441
00:15:21,833 --> 00:15:22,800
We're doing the litany now?
442
00:15:22,833 --> 00:15:23,800
What else?
443
00:15:23,833 --> 00:15:25,367
I can give you the litany.
444
00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,733
You want to know
what my cholesterol was?
445
00:15:27,767 --> 00:15:29,267
272, alright?
446
00:15:29,300 --> 00:15:30,933
So, I don't need this shit, man.
447
00:15:30,967 --> 00:15:32,400
I've known her for six weeks.
448
00:15:32,433 --> 00:15:34,066
We've already had intercourse.
449
00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:36,200
She's loving,
she speaks seven languages.
450
00:15:36,233 --> 00:15:38,066
Congratulations
on the intercourse.
451
00:15:38,067 --> 00:15:41,066
And I happen to be a little bit
in love with her, okay?
452
00:15:41,067 --> 00:15:43,767
Well, a little bit should be
the operative word here.
453
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:45,067
I don't know how to get...
454
00:15:45,100 --> 00:15:46,609
First of all, it's none
of your fucking business.
455
00:15:46,633 --> 00:15:47,600
'Cause you're
the most insensitive...
456
00:15:47,633 --> 00:15:48,833
Does she ask you to go over
457
00:15:48,867 --> 00:15:51,200
some of the Neil Simon
scripts at night?
458
00:15:51,233 --> 00:15:52,500
The actress?
459
00:15:52,533 --> 00:15:55,200
Make you do some readings
at night with her in bed?
460
00:15:55,233 --> 00:15:57,066
Does she give you a script
461
00:15:57,067 --> 00:15:59,400
and go over the lines
with you on the sides?
462
00:15:59,433 --> 00:16:00,673
Do you read the sides with her?
463
00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:02,900
She reads wyzell,
she reads a lot of things.
464
00:16:02,933 --> 00:16:03,933
She reads wyzell?
465
00:16:03,967 --> 00:16:05,066
That's right.
466
00:16:05,067 --> 00:16:06,633
Not everyone's a moron
I go out with.
467
00:16:06,667 --> 00:16:08,076
You know what
she should be reading?
468
00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:09,767
Emily fucking post!
469
00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:11,333
That's what
she should be reading!
470
00:16:11,367 --> 00:16:12,376
Let me tell you
something, Larry.
471
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:14,267
Listen, Saturday night,
do me a favor.
472
00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:16,066
I love you, alright?
473
00:16:16,067 --> 00:16:19,066
We have enough good stuff
in the bank to get over this.
474
00:16:19,067 --> 00:16:21,367
But Saturday night at dinner,
could we maybe,
475
00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:23,367
maybe try to have
an apology for this?
476
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,843
First of all, there's no way I can have
dinner with you on Saturday night.
477
00:16:25,867 --> 00:16:26,833
That's out.
478
00:16:26,867 --> 00:16:27,933
Am I hearing this?
479
00:16:27,967 --> 00:16:29,200
I'm not having dinner.
480
00:16:29,233 --> 00:16:30,543
Our relationship's
at stake right now.
481
00:16:30,567 --> 00:16:31,643
Our relationship's at stake.
482
00:16:31,667 --> 00:16:32,633
Get out of here!
483
00:16:32,667 --> 00:16:34,133
You'd better call me later on...
484
00:16:34,167 --> 00:16:35,600
By sundown.
485
00:16:35,633 --> 00:16:36,733
By sundown?
486
00:16:36,767 --> 00:16:38,066
What are you, Gary Cooper?
By sundown?
487
00:16:38,067 --> 00:16:39,067
What's...?
488
00:16:39,068 --> 00:16:40,333
That's funny.
489
00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:42,567
You know, I'm trying not
to laugh, but that's funny.
490
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:44,067
You'd better call me by sundown.
491
00:16:44,100 --> 00:16:45,267
By sundown?
492
00:16:45,300 --> 00:16:47,200
And is a posse gonna
come get me?
493
00:16:47,233 --> 00:16:48,667
That's right.
494
00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:52,833
( Chattering )
495
00:16:52,867 --> 00:16:55,567
( Female ) oh, there
he is, hi, 'lar.
496
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:57,633
So, these are my friends,
497
00:16:57,667 --> 00:16:59,076
Connie and Robin, from
"the mommy and me class".
498
00:16:59,100 --> 00:17:00,133
Oh, okay.
499
00:17:00,167 --> 00:17:01,343
( Female ) I'm one
of the mommies.
500
00:17:01,367 --> 00:17:04,700
Hi, mommy, hi.
501
00:17:04,733 --> 00:17:06,900
( Female ) actually, let's
go up and see the kids.
502
00:17:06,933 --> 00:17:09,733
( Jeff ) mom, dad, Larry's here.
503
00:17:09,767 --> 00:17:11,333
Oh, really?
504
00:17:12,267 --> 00:17:14,433
Hi, um...
505
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:17,300
I've come to tell you that,
506
00:17:17,333 --> 00:17:19,733
um, I'm sorry about
the other night.
507
00:17:19,767 --> 00:17:20,876
And I know you were in the car,
508
00:17:20,900 --> 00:17:22,967
and you overheard me
say something about my wife.
509
00:17:23,067 --> 00:17:25,200
We were in the car.
510
00:17:25,233 --> 00:17:26,800
I'm sorry if I offended you,
511
00:17:26,833 --> 00:17:28,500
it was meant as a joke,
512
00:17:28,533 --> 00:17:29,500
it wasn't very funny, obviously.
513
00:17:29,533 --> 00:17:30,500
It wasn't funny.
514
00:17:30,533 --> 00:17:31,967
No!
515
00:17:32,067 --> 00:17:34,467
I thought I was just
talking to Jeff...
516
00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:36,143
You mean you can say that
kind of thing to Jeff,
517
00:17:36,167 --> 00:17:38,300
and he thinks it's funny,
518
00:17:38,333 --> 00:17:39,867
is that what you're
trying to say?
519
00:17:39,900 --> 00:17:40,867
I'm not trying to say that.
520
00:17:40,900 --> 00:17:42,433
You don't think it's funny.
521
00:17:42,467 --> 00:17:44,509
( Jeff ) I would've told him
it was the wrong thing to say.
522
00:17:44,533 --> 00:17:47,433
I think so.
523
00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:49,267
I don't think my wife is Hitler,
524
00:17:49,300 --> 00:17:50,833
I love my wife very much.
525
00:17:50,867 --> 00:17:52,100
She's given up her career
526
00:17:52,133 --> 00:17:54,833
to work full-time
for the environment.
527
00:17:54,867 --> 00:17:57,267
So, it was an error
on your part?
528
00:17:57,300 --> 00:17:59,833
It was cruel and not nice.
529
00:17:59,867 --> 00:18:01,066
It was rotten, if I may say so.
530
00:18:01,067 --> 00:18:02,067
It was rotten!
531
00:18:02,068 --> 00:18:05,167
It was rotten.
532
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:07,400
I'm sorry, I agree,
it was rotten.
533
00:18:07,433 --> 00:18:09,367
Alright, it's over now.
534
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:10,367
It's over, what you did.
535
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,700
You have to pull
yourself together.
536
00:18:12,733 --> 00:18:16,300
I do, I'm trying
to pull myself together.
537
00:18:16,333 --> 00:18:18,367
You have to get
ahold of yourself.
538
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,067
So, you did what you did,
539
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,533
and, it wasn't very nice,
540
00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:24,400
but, I try to be
a nice human being.
541
00:18:24,433 --> 00:18:26,066
Forget about it.
542
00:18:26,067 --> 00:18:27,333
As long as you understand.
543
00:18:27,367 --> 00:18:29,267
( Jeff ) he understands,
he's great.
544
00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:31,066
I'm done with the Hitler stuff.
545
00:18:31,067 --> 00:18:32,067
You're alright.
546
00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:33,067
Thank you.
547
00:18:33,068 --> 00:18:34,308
You've come in and you said it.
548
00:18:34,333 --> 00:18:36,133
Ah, ah, ah, easy.
549
00:18:36,167 --> 00:18:37,433
( Female ) mom, dad!
550
00:18:37,467 --> 00:18:39,300
Sammy is asleep, on the floor,
551
00:18:39,333 --> 00:18:41,067
he's got his arm around Sarah.
552
00:18:41,100 --> 00:18:43,066
It's the cutest thing,
you gotta come up,
553
00:18:43,067 --> 00:18:44,067
right now.
554
00:18:44,100 --> 00:18:45,733
Larry, come, it's so cute.
555
00:18:45,767 --> 00:18:47,066
Jeffrey, get the polaroid, okay?
556
00:18:47,067 --> 00:18:48,067
The polaroid...
557
00:18:48,068 --> 00:18:50,100
And you can see
the new wallpaper.
558
00:18:50,133 --> 00:18:52,333
( Chattering )
559
00:18:52,367 --> 00:18:55,733
( Jeff ) the polaroid,
I'll get the polaroid.
560
00:18:55,767 --> 00:18:57,533
I'm not gonna go upstairs.
561
00:18:57,567 --> 00:18:59,600
Whatever, you know,
it's your business.
562
00:18:59,633 --> 00:19:01,143
You wanna, you wanna,
you don't, you don't.
563
00:19:01,167 --> 00:19:02,133
I can't make you.
564
00:19:02,167 --> 00:19:03,267
I gotta get moving.
565
00:19:03,300 --> 00:19:04,476
Thank you, that was
really nice of you.
566
00:19:04,500 --> 00:19:06,133
I really appreciate it.
567
00:19:06,167 --> 00:19:07,433
I gotta go up there now.
568
00:19:18,433 --> 00:19:20,276
( Cheryl ) Larry, Larry,
come here for a second.
569
00:19:20,300 --> 00:19:22,433
Um, look who's here.
570
00:19:22,467 --> 00:19:23,909
I just wanted to just
get this out in the open.
571
00:19:23,933 --> 00:19:24,900
What the hell?
572
00:19:24,933 --> 00:19:26,067
It's Nancy.
573
00:19:26,100 --> 00:19:28,067
And, I just wanted you
to come over here...
574
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:29,243
Come over here for one second.
575
00:19:29,267 --> 00:19:31,833
I thought we should
just talk about this.
576
00:19:31,867 --> 00:19:33,409
Tell her what you were
telling me the other night.
577
00:19:33,433 --> 00:19:37,400
Why are you doing this?
This is silly!
578
00:19:37,433 --> 00:19:39,767
Tell her what you
told me the other night.
579
00:19:42,133 --> 00:19:44,700
I can't believe that
580
00:19:44,733 --> 00:19:46,267
she's talking to you about this!
581
00:19:46,300 --> 00:19:47,833
This is insane!
582
00:19:47,867 --> 00:19:48,833
Wait a second, wait a second,
583
00:19:48,867 --> 00:19:49,967
hold it, hold it.
584
00:19:50,067 --> 00:19:51,076
Can I just say something here?
585
00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:53,533
Okay...
586
00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:55,433
Now, I came home, and I thought
587
00:19:55,467 --> 00:19:57,667
it was really funny,
588
00:19:57,700 --> 00:20:00,700
it was kind of
a joke to me that,
589
00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:04,133
you know, that you
stared down, over here...
590
00:20:04,167 --> 00:20:05,600
Because you had an erection.
591
00:20:05,633 --> 00:20:06,933
Nancy, this is,
592
00:20:06,967 --> 00:20:09,100
this is why it's funny,
593
00:20:09,133 --> 00:20:10,933
because you thought
that I had an erection.
594
00:20:10,967 --> 00:20:12,267
I thought?
595
00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:15,533
But, I don't understand
the "thought" part.
596
00:20:15,567 --> 00:20:17,100
That's what we're saying.
597
00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:18,600
Even before the movie,
598
00:20:18,633 --> 00:20:20,400
Larry said,
"look at these pants".
599
00:20:20,433 --> 00:20:21,800
I pointed out the pants to her
600
00:20:21,833 --> 00:20:24,233
right before the movie.
601
00:20:24,267 --> 00:20:26,833
Larry, you sat down,
and everything was fine.
602
00:20:26,867 --> 00:20:28,109
And then I started
rubbing your arm,
603
00:20:28,133 --> 00:20:29,100
and, you got a hard-on.
604
00:20:29,133 --> 00:20:31,067
It's not a big deal,
I don't care.
605
00:20:31,100 --> 00:20:32,567
No, it's not a big deal.
606
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:35,067
And I wouldn't mind it,
if, in fact, I did.
607
00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:36,067
Wait a second, wait a second.
608
00:20:36,100 --> 00:20:37,667
She was rubbing your arm?
609
00:20:37,700 --> 00:20:39,500
Why were you rubbing his arm?
610
00:20:39,533 --> 00:20:41,533
I was upset about the woman...
611
00:20:41,567 --> 00:20:42,533
Why didn't you tell me
612
00:20:42,567 --> 00:20:43,533
that she was rubbing your arm?
613
00:20:43,567 --> 00:20:44,533
I was upset about the woman
614
00:20:44,567 --> 00:20:46,100
who wouldn't let me
into the aisle!
615
00:20:46,133 --> 00:20:47,433
Why wouldn't you tell me that
616
00:20:47,467 --> 00:20:49,233
when you told me the story?
617
00:20:49,267 --> 00:20:51,467
It's so insignificant to me,
the whole thing!
618
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:52,643
( Cheryl ) I'm taking
in all the facts.
619
00:20:52,667 --> 00:20:54,200
Listen, it happened, okay?
620
00:20:54,233 --> 00:20:56,467
He got an erection,
it wasn't a big deal.
621
00:20:56,500 --> 00:20:59,300
Nancy, it didn't happen, okay?
622
00:20:59,333 --> 00:21:01,066
If it happened, I would
give you credit for it!
623
00:21:01,067 --> 00:21:02,200
It didn't happen.
624
00:21:02,233 --> 00:21:04,867
I know, when I get these
things and how they happen.
625
00:21:04,900 --> 00:21:07,467
These things,
these erection things?!
626
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:09,066
I know the source.
627
00:21:09,067 --> 00:21:10,333
I know the source, too.
628
00:21:10,367 --> 00:21:11,333
Yeah, I can name sources!
629
00:21:11,367 --> 00:21:13,066
Sophia loren was once a source!
630
00:21:13,067 --> 00:21:14,433
I know my sources!
631
00:21:14,467 --> 00:21:16,267
Sometimes they're
mysterious sources,
632
00:21:16,300 --> 00:21:17,833
and, I don't know
where it comes from!
633
00:21:17,867 --> 00:21:19,233
Other times, I can pinpoint it!
634
00:21:19,267 --> 00:21:20,433
What about me?
635
00:21:20,467 --> 00:21:22,167
Am I not even
involved in a source?
636
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:24,066
Yeah, you're a source,
she's a source.
637
00:21:24,067 --> 00:21:25,267
Oh, my god!
638
00:21:25,300 --> 00:21:26,800
Listen, you got a hard-on.
639
00:21:26,833 --> 00:21:27,800
No, I didn't!
640
00:21:27,833 --> 00:21:28,967
You got a hard-on!
641
00:21:29,067 --> 00:21:30,400
Look, look, look at these pants.
642
00:21:30,433 --> 00:21:31,833
That's not what it looked like.
643
00:21:31,867 --> 00:21:33,409
That was flopping,
this was not flopping.
644
00:21:33,433 --> 00:21:34,609
There was something
hard in there,
645
00:21:34,633 --> 00:21:36,367
and it was your fucking dick!
646
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:38,066
Are you crazy?
647
00:21:38,067 --> 00:21:39,200
Don't walk out!
648
00:21:39,233 --> 00:21:41,267
( Larry ) let me show
you, I'll get the pants!
649
00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:42,967
( Door slamming )
650
00:21:43,067 --> 00:21:44,076
What did you have
to tell her that for?!
651
00:21:44,100 --> 00:21:45,800
You didn't tell me
the whole story,
652
00:21:45,833 --> 00:21:47,367
thank you!
653
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:48,400
Jesus.
654
00:21:52,733 --> 00:21:54,767
( Chattering )
655
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:56,900
Look what's doing here.
656
00:21:56,933 --> 00:22:00,367
This is really crowded.
657
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,133
Hi, uh, reservation for 8:00,
658
00:22:02,167 --> 00:22:03,133
for David.
659
00:22:03,167 --> 00:22:05,400
Uh, yes.
660
00:22:05,433 --> 00:22:08,233
I have you for a party of four.
661
00:22:08,267 --> 00:22:11,333
Yeah, but there are only
gonna be two of us.
662
00:22:11,367 --> 00:22:13,100
Larry, hey, hey, come here!
663
00:22:13,133 --> 00:22:14,833
Hey!
664
00:22:14,867 --> 00:22:16,867
Excuse me one second.
665
00:22:16,900 --> 00:22:17,867
( Jeff ) hey, Cheryl!
666
00:22:17,900 --> 00:22:19,767
Hi!
667
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:21,733
Ooh, I haven't seen
you in so long,
668
00:22:21,767 --> 00:22:22,733
ooh, 'lookit.
669
00:22:22,767 --> 00:22:23,733
Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Greene.
670
00:22:23,767 --> 00:22:25,533
This is Cheryl, Larry's wife,
671
00:22:25,567 --> 00:22:26,533
this is Jeff's parents.
672
00:22:26,567 --> 00:22:27,900
Hi.
673
00:22:27,933 --> 00:22:30,267
( Mrs. Greene ) how do
you do, Cheryl, is it?
674
00:22:30,300 --> 00:22:31,700
Yes.
675
00:22:31,733 --> 00:22:33,533
How are you, Cheryl?
Nice to see you.
676
00:22:33,567 --> 00:22:35,066
Pretty lady, pretty lady.
677
00:22:35,067 --> 00:22:36,433
How's everything?
678
00:22:36,467 --> 00:22:38,100
( Silence )
679
00:22:40,133 --> 00:22:41,143
Can I talk to you for a second?
680
00:22:41,167 --> 00:22:42,167
( Larry ) yeah.
681
00:22:43,633 --> 00:22:45,176
She's not gonna tell her
about the Hitler thing?
682
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:46,800
No, no, no, no way.
683
00:22:46,833 --> 00:22:49,500
I promise you,
I promise you, no way.
684
00:22:49,533 --> 00:22:50,776
Listen, there is a little
bit of a problem, though.
685
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:53,400
Remember the other day
when you were leaving,
686
00:22:53,433 --> 00:22:54,400
and we wanted you
to come upstairs
687
00:22:54,433 --> 00:22:55,400
and look at the kid?
688
00:22:55,433 --> 00:22:56,967
Susie asked you
to come upstairs?
689
00:22:57,067 --> 00:22:58,733
My parents are mad you didn't.
690
00:22:58,767 --> 00:23:00,133
What?
691
00:23:00,167 --> 00:23:01,509
My parents are upset
you didn't come up,
692
00:23:01,533 --> 00:23:03,200
they thought you should come up.
693
00:23:03,233 --> 00:23:04,667
Up the stairs? To see the kids?
694
00:23:04,700 --> 00:23:06,200
They're mad at me?
695
00:23:06,233 --> 00:23:07,733
They're mad at you.
696
00:23:07,767 --> 00:23:08,733
That's insane.
697
00:23:08,767 --> 00:23:09,733
I've already told
them they're crazy.
698
00:23:09,767 --> 00:23:11,100
And, what did they say?
699
00:23:11,133 --> 00:23:13,043
They said, it would've been nice
if he would've came upstairs,
700
00:23:13,067 --> 00:23:13,967
what kind of man
doesn't come upstairs
701
00:23:14,067 --> 00:23:15,700
to look at another man's kid?
702
00:23:15,733 --> 00:23:18,100
They didn't even
say hello to me.
703
00:23:18,133 --> 00:23:20,767
I know, they're upset with you.
704
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:21,809
Hold on, she wants
to talk to you.
705
00:23:21,833 --> 00:23:23,066
( Hostess ) excuse me.
706
00:23:23,067 --> 00:23:26,066
I'm trying to find
a place for a table of two,
707
00:23:26,067 --> 00:23:28,967
and I just don't have one.
708
00:23:29,067 --> 00:23:30,267
Wait a second...
709
00:23:30,300 --> 00:23:32,066
( Cheryl ) what's happening?
710
00:23:32,067 --> 00:23:36,066
We can't sit two people
at a table of four...
711
00:23:36,067 --> 00:23:37,700
We'll take a table
for two, then.
712
00:23:37,733 --> 00:23:39,933
Right, there is no
table for two available
713
00:23:39,967 --> 00:23:41,300
for another hour and a half.
714
00:23:41,333 --> 00:23:42,300
Well, then, we'll take
the table for four,
715
00:23:42,333 --> 00:23:43,376
and there'll just be two of us.
716
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:45,167
Right, we can't
sit a two in a four,
717
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:46,443
we can only sit
a four in a four.
718
00:23:46,467 --> 00:23:47,733
Otherwise, we're wasting space.
719
00:23:47,767 --> 00:23:48,733
I know, but we had a
reservation for four,
720
00:23:48,767 --> 00:23:50,400
and the two people
couldn't come.
721
00:23:50,433 --> 00:23:51,676
I can't do it,
it's not looking good,
722
00:23:51,700 --> 00:23:53,467
I'm telling you,
it's not looking good.
723
00:23:53,500 --> 00:23:55,867
Thank you, that's fine.
724
00:24:00,100 --> 00:24:01,100
You know what, Larry?
725
00:24:01,133 --> 00:24:02,700
You should just tell
her who you are.
726
00:24:02,733 --> 00:24:04,567
Yeah, who am I?
727
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:05,876
I'm a guy without a table,
that's who I am.
728
00:24:05,900 --> 00:24:07,967
Try the "Seinfeld" thing
and see if she reacts.
729
00:24:08,067 --> 00:24:10,933
Forget it, I'm not
gonna say that.
730
00:24:10,967 --> 00:24:11,933
It will help.
731
00:24:11,967 --> 00:24:15,400
Ma'am, can you come
for one second?
732
00:24:15,433 --> 00:24:17,700
Tell her who you are.
733
00:24:17,733 --> 00:24:19,066
He was one of the
creators of "Seinfeld".
734
00:24:19,067 --> 00:24:21,200
( Larry ) so what, right?
Okay, big deal, fine.
735
00:24:21,233 --> 00:24:23,167
What I'm saying is...
736
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:24,900
She can find a table for you.
737
00:24:24,933 --> 00:24:26,500
I wish I could help you, but...
738
00:24:26,533 --> 00:24:28,633
You've seen it.
739
00:24:28,667 --> 00:24:29,709
I saw it once, it was good.
740
00:24:29,733 --> 00:24:31,066
( Larry ) did you, really?
Which one?
741
00:24:31,067 --> 00:24:32,067
I can't remember.
742
00:24:32,068 --> 00:24:33,167
Okay, great, see?
743
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:34,867
She never even saw
the show, good going.
744
00:24:34,900 --> 00:24:37,733
But we can't give
preferential treatment here.
745
00:24:37,767 --> 00:24:40,533
( Jeff ) Cheryl, Larry, join
us, we got the corner table.
746
00:24:40,567 --> 00:24:43,200
Easily add two,
come on, join us.
747
00:24:43,233 --> 00:24:44,600
Please do, I've done it before.
748
00:24:44,633 --> 00:24:46,567
Okay, we'll see
if we can do that.
749
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:47,900
Thank you, hey, Larry David,
750
00:24:47,933 --> 00:24:49,400
co-creator of "Seinfeld"?
751
00:24:49,433 --> 00:24:52,167
Okay, please?
Thank you, very much.
752
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:54,066
"Seinfeld", Larry David,
thank you, very much.
753
00:24:54,067 --> 00:24:55,567
Okay, come on,
let's go, come on.
754
00:24:58,700 --> 00:25:00,367
You wanna eat with
him and his family?
755
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:01,800
I'm starving.
756
00:25:07,100 --> 00:25:08,900
I'm gonna get the veal parmesan.
757
00:25:08,933 --> 00:25:11,076
( Mrs. Greene ) oh, honey, I
don't think you should get that.
758
00:25:11,100 --> 00:25:12,343
Alright, I'll get
the white fish then,
759
00:25:12,367 --> 00:25:13,776
are you happy?
I'll get the white fish.
760
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:17,867
( Mr. Greene ) I'm gonna
have the fish frenzy.
761
00:25:17,900 --> 00:25:19,309
( Susie ) what's that?
Where do you see that?
762
00:25:19,333 --> 00:25:20,633
( Mr. Greene ) right here.
763
00:25:20,667 --> 00:25:23,167
And it's got brewed
shrimp with it...
764
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:24,433
Well, I'm not having that,
765
00:25:24,467 --> 00:25:26,967
I'm having white fish, isn't
that right, sweetheart?
766
00:25:27,067 --> 00:25:27,967
( Jeff ) whatever you want, mom.
767
00:25:28,067 --> 00:25:29,767
Okay.
768
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:31,533
When are you guys going back?
769
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:33,900
What, is there a hurry?
770
00:25:36,100 --> 00:25:37,367
Next Tuesday.
771
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:39,067
I know, because
I bought the tickets.
772
00:25:39,100 --> 00:25:41,067
Next Tuesday, right?
773
00:25:41,100 --> 00:25:42,067
Next Tuesday.
774
00:25:42,100 --> 00:25:43,067
( Susie ) listen, mom,
775
00:25:43,100 --> 00:25:44,767
you're welcome to stay with us
776
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:47,133
as long as you want.
777
00:25:47,167 --> 00:25:48,309
Good evening,
how are you this evening?
778
00:25:48,333 --> 00:25:50,700
I'd like to apologize
for the necessity
779
00:25:50,733 --> 00:25:52,833
to crowd you a bit.
780
00:25:52,867 --> 00:25:54,867
We're very busy tonight,
fortunately,
781
00:25:54,900 --> 00:25:56,300
but, I hope you
enjoy you're dinner
782
00:25:56,333 --> 00:25:57,300
nevertheless.
783
00:25:57,333 --> 00:25:58,833
Are you mama's boy?
784
00:25:58,867 --> 00:26:01,567
I am a mama's boy,
and I'm proud of it.
785
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:02,600
Enjoy your dinner.
786
00:26:02,633 --> 00:26:03,700
( Everyone ) thank you.
787
00:26:03,733 --> 00:26:06,467
( Maitre de ) enjoy the
dinner, thank you.
788
00:26:06,500 --> 00:26:08,767
I love to see a black owner,
789
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:10,967
black entrepreneurship.
790
00:26:11,067 --> 00:26:13,800
What does that mean?
What do you mean?
791
00:26:13,833 --> 00:26:15,600
It's just...
792
00:26:19,967 --> 00:26:22,367
( Susie )
I just wanna point out...
793
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:24,433
If you're not gonna
order dessert,
794
00:26:24,467 --> 00:26:26,300
it's not really a good deal,
795
00:26:26,333 --> 00:26:30,600
because the entrees are
cheaper a la carte, mom.
796
00:26:30,633 --> 00:26:33,400
( Mrs. Greene I don't feel
well, I really don't.
797
00:26:33,433 --> 00:26:35,267
Having nice time?
798
00:26:35,300 --> 00:26:36,267
Having a great time.
799
00:26:36,300 --> 00:26:37,867
We've got to do this
again more often,
800
00:26:37,900 --> 00:26:39,333
don't you think?
801
00:26:39,367 --> 00:26:40,576
Maybe I'll call in
for next week.
802
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:41,800
Wouldn't that be nice?
803
00:26:41,833 --> 00:26:42,833
Do this again next week?
804
00:26:42,867 --> 00:26:43,833
( Susie ) oh, Kathy Griffin.
805
00:26:43,867 --> 00:26:44,833
Hey, hey...
806
00:26:44,867 --> 00:26:46,267
Sorry to interrupt.
807
00:26:46,300 --> 00:26:47,633
Larry, Jeff, susie.
808
00:26:47,667 --> 00:26:48,809
I cannot believe
this coincidence.
809
00:26:48,833 --> 00:26:50,800
I have been meaning to call you,
810
00:26:50,833 --> 00:26:52,133
about Larry.
811
00:26:52,167 --> 00:26:54,067
We talked about it.
We talked about it.
812
00:26:54,100 --> 00:26:56,100
The thing about the pilot, yeah.
813
00:26:56,133 --> 00:26:57,100
Pilot?
814
00:26:57,133 --> 00:26:58,533
We should do that.
815
00:26:58,567 --> 00:26:59,609
( Larry ) that's what you
called him about, I know.
816
00:26:59,633 --> 00:27:00,933
( Kathy ) I didn't call you,
817
00:27:00,967 --> 00:27:02,509
I'm saying I was gonna
give you a call this week.
818
00:27:02,533 --> 00:27:03,833
I thought maybe,
819
00:27:03,867 --> 00:27:06,433
you might wanna
write something for me.
820
00:27:06,467 --> 00:27:07,433
You know?
821
00:27:07,467 --> 00:27:08,433
No, I know.
822
00:27:08,467 --> 00:27:09,433
How do you know?
823
00:27:09,467 --> 00:27:12,267
Oh, because...
824
00:27:12,300 --> 00:27:13,676
Anyway, I just thought
it'd be funny,
825
00:27:13,700 --> 00:27:15,343
maybe we get together,
kick around some ideas.
826
00:27:15,367 --> 00:27:16,643
( Mrs. Greene )
what's your name, miss?
827
00:27:16,667 --> 00:27:19,233
Kathy Griffin.
828
00:27:19,267 --> 00:27:20,943
( Mr. Greene ) you're an
attractive young lady.
829
00:27:20,967 --> 00:27:24,933
Oh, wow, you better
watch him, miss.
830
00:27:24,967 --> 00:27:26,633
Alright, I'll talk
to ya soon, okay?
831
00:27:26,667 --> 00:27:27,633
Bye-bye, sorry to interrupt.
832
00:27:27,667 --> 00:27:28,809
( Mrs. Greene ) sweet girl...
833
00:27:28,833 --> 00:27:30,343
( Mr. Greene ) look at
the way that girl walks.
834
00:27:30,367 --> 00:27:32,700
Look at that,
what rhythm she has.
835
00:27:45,733 --> 00:27:50,300
Captions copyright 2000
home box office
836
00:27:50,333 --> 00:27:54,333
a division of time Warner
entertainment company, l.P.
837
00:27:55,667 --> 00:27:59,700
Captioned by
hbo communications center
57347
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