All language subtitles for star.trek.lower.decks.s02e02.720p.web.h264-plzproper

I'm so zonked.

The red alerts
from that wormhole

- kept me up half the night.
- Oh, I know.

It's, like, are we crossing
the event horizon or not?

Like, I don't care, actually.
I just want you to pick one.

Jet. What are you doing here?

Got reassigned to Beta shift.

Looks like
we'll be showering together.

Cool. Well, welcome to the team.

I'm sort of
the unofficial leader.

Feel free to come to me
with any questions.

She's joking, right?

Nope.

Ooh, actually, usually Boimler
leaves that one open for me.

He has issues
with communal nudity.

Well, I'm not him,
and he's not here.

Cool. Hope this isn't
too high for you.

Ooh! Ha-ha! Fine with me.

I could go higher.

Uh, that's a little high,
don't you think?

- Not for me!
- This is my favorite!

- I think I'm clean!
- Yeah, I'm good!

I could do this all day!

Never felt more alive!

Captain's log, stardate 58001.2.

Those who spend their lives
and fortunes

gathering scientific rarities
from around the galaxy

call themselves "collectors."

Now, a prominent collector
has died,

leaving behind a starship full
of hazardous treasures that need

to be safely catalogued.

The Collector's Guild has asked
the Federation for help,

so the Cerritos
has been tasked with the job.

Chairman Siggi, allow me
to offer my deepest condolences

for the loss of your friend.

Kerner Hauze was no friend.

His collection pales
in comparison to mine.

Well, I'm sure that's true.

How can we help?

Well, I'm supposed
to auction off his things,

per Guild rules,
but I don't know

what kind of dangerous items
he might have been hoarding.

I need you guys to come in
and safely dispose of anything

that could,
you know, atomize me.

Happy to help.
We'll prepare a team.

And I'll be overseein' 'em...
I don't want any of your crew

getting sticky appendages.

Ugh, Collector's Guild.

Just a bunch of greedy packrats.

Wasn't he the one
who tried to collect Data?

They all tried to collect Data.

Why couldn't they
leave Data alone?

He just wanted to feel.

This is the last thing I need
right now.

I'm supposed
to find out the results

of my command evaluation today.

Well, sounds like
your basic tag-and-bag.

Want me to head it up?

No, I think
this is a fine first job

for our brand-new
head of security.

Lieutenant Kayshon,
welcome to the Cerritos.

Rapunki,
when he joined the seven.

Ah, sorry. The universal
translator doesn't always...

What I meant was, uh,

"It is my honor, Captain."

Jah! This is so cool!

Lieutenant Kayshon is
the first Tamarian in Starfleet

and we get to go on a mission
with him!

Eh. We're basically clearing out
a dead dude's storage locker.

A mission's only as important
as you make it, Mariner.

Okay, Commander Protocol.

- You always this fun?
- We're on the clock.

I'll have fun
after we do the job.

Ugh. You sound uptighter
than Boimler.

Ah, man, Boims would have loved
this mission.

He took Ethics of Collecting
at the Academy.

Yeah, but the Titan's
such a big deal.

I bet he's living the dream.

Mr. Boimler,
attack pattern Delta.

Target the aft shields.

Let's see how these Pakleds do
with their aft hanging out.

Uh, yes, sir.

- Photon torpedoes locked and ready.
- Fire!

Yeah!

Hasta mañana, Pakleds!

Great job, everyone. That's a wrap.

Lieutenant Kayshon,

we're your away team,
reporting for duty.

It is a pleasure to meet you,
and I look forward to, uh...

oh, geez...
Darmok and Jalad on the ocean...

"Working with you"?

Yes! Thank you.

Apologies, my Federation
Standard is still shaky.

It's no problem, sir.
Or should I say,

- it's no "beast at Tanagra."
- Oh!

More like suck-up at Tanagra.

About time, Starfleet.

What'd you do, stop to debate
the human rights of a robot?

I-I do not believe so.

Perhaps we should review
our logs.

Hey, just bustin' your bioducts.
Here's the deal.

I need youse to comb through all
this stuff on the floor here.

But the high-ticket items
in these cases?

That stuff stays here.

Uh, okay.

All right, if we split up, we
can knock this out in an hour.

Whoa, big fella.
This is just the first room.

Most of the collection's
further in the ship.

There's more?

Oh, how much
can one guy collect?

Sister, you got no idea.

There's a pattern

to the Pakleds' attacks
on these outposts.

They're after Varuvian ore.

Uh, s-sorry. What ore?

Varuvian. Contains minerals
which become volatile

at high vibratory frequencies.

Those terrorists tried to use it
to blow up Starbase 58.

Oh, uh, yeah,
I think I remember reading that

in one of your logs.

Huh. Titan's seen
a lot of action.

Ain't weaponizing Varuvian ore

a bit above
the Pakleds' grade level?

Way above, which is
why Starfleet Command believes

there may be
another player involved.

Intel says
the Pakleds' next target

is a Varuvian mining colony
on Karzill IV.

We'll embed an away team there
disguised as miners

with the goal
of planting a tracking device

on their shuttle.

They'll lead us
right to their puppet master.

And that's
when we cut the strings.

- Cutting the strings.
- You don't have to write that down.

I don't have to write that down.

Got another
old disintegrator here.

Oh, hey, Cyborg.
You're pretty rare, huh?

Yeah, as far as I know there's
only a few of us in Starfleet.

Interesting.

Careful, Ruthy,
he's gonna try to collect you.

Take my card.

I got a top-notch menagerie.

So, Kerner Hauze just lived here
all alone on an automated ship?

He must have been so lonely.

Perhaps to him
the silence was, uh...

"Temba, his arms open."

- A gift?
- Yes, gift. Sorry.

Perhaps he preferred
to be alone.

Yeah, I guess more time
to enjoy...

"Kahless' fornication helmet."

Oh, that's fun. Safety first.

This way, mortals, or thou shalt be smited.

We got a lot to do.
You might want to focus.

And you might want to loosen up.

Oh, yeah, loosen up
while carrying ordnance...

great idea, Mariner.

Whoa! Uh, what's going on?

Ah-ah-ah.

If you're seeing this
holo-message, it means I'm dead

and you're trying to steal
from my precious collection.

Oh-ho, great!
Automated defenses!

- You must've moved something.
- What?!

You had us move lots of things!

For your greed,

you will now be part
of my collection!

Lieutenant Kayshon!

Help me! It's-it's...

"Zinda, his eyes red!"

He's saying, "It hurts."

Yeah, man, I get it.
Context clues.

That beam
turned him into a puppet!

He'll be worth a fortune.

Could you stop collecting
for one...

Aah, flying orb!

Whoa!
Manhaver to Cerritos, come in.

- Comms are blocked.
- We've got to get out of here! Now!

- I've got him.
- No,

- I've got him.
- Guys!

- Out of my way. - Hey!
- Let's go.

I told you to keep your hands
to yourself, Orion.

Just great.

This is what I get
for involving Starfleet.

Oh, you want to try
to get through the killer ship

on your own? Be my guest.

- Oh, man, it's just gallery after gallery.
- We need to get

to the engine room
and disable the defenses.

For us to make it out of here,
we're gonna have to travel

- into the belly of the beast.
- Quiet. I've got a safer plan.

What? No, you don't cut off
my badass plan.

- Not even Boimler would...
- Shh. He's gone.

Get over it. Now listen.

There are escape pods
right here.

And fewer galleries
to go through means better odds.

We don't need
to be heroes today, people.

We just need to survive.

- I'm with the hunk.
- You don't get a vote.

Uh, actually,
I think I like Jet's plan, too.

Tendi. Okay, Rutherford,
what about you?

Yeah, it just sounds less risky?

It's more like
what our training says to do.

Exactly.
If we follow our training,

we get out of here alive.
All of us.

Ooh,

I love me an undercover op.

You could tell
the captain was bummed

to have to stay on the ship.

Badass like Riker,

you know he'd rather
have boots on the ground.

He must have been so bored
on the Enterprise.

I mean,
seven years of what, exploring?

On a ship
with five day care centers.

Are you talking about the D?
The flagship?

They went
to different dimensions.

They fought the Borg.
They insurrected.

They had
regular string quartets.

Wow, what a rush.

Play me a concerto.

That's dumb.

Uh, Captain?

You feeling okay?

Hmm? I'm fine. Why?

This is typically about the time
you'd start asking

for a second
or even third status report

from the away team, but, uh,

you haven't even asked
for one yet.

Commander, are you suggesting
that I micromanage?

- No, no, no. Not at all. I...
- Because that is

what Starfleet Command
said in my evaluation.

Can you believe that?

Since when do I micromanage?

I am going to have to "show
more trust in my subordinates."

Lieutenant Kayshon
is an accomplished officer.

I am sure
he's got a handle on things.

Rutherford, take the puppet.

Tendi, target the hinge.

Inorganic matter compactor!

- Whoa! Whoa!
- Rutherford!

Don't let go!

Hey, what the?!
Little help?

Not my problem!

- Huh?
- Whoa.

Hey! Thanks
for helping out back there.

You couldn't lend
a frickin' tentacle?

Get your lousy hands off me.

Kahless's sex helmet?
You took it!

That's what set off the ship!

This is all your fault,
you pervert! No judgment.

Oh, save it, Orion.

I don't got to answer
to nobody but me.

That's how I got on top,
that's how I'm staying on top.

Don't move.

I'm done listening to youse.

Maybe his helmet saved him?

Guess we have to go up and over.

Uh, remind me again
how this was the safer option?

There's unknowns to any plan.

If we'd gone your way,
we'd have had to fight

twice as many collectables

and free-climb
a radiation coolant pipe.

I'm not afraid of a little risk.

But what about them?

Maybe you've got a death wish,

but you can't ask them
to follow you there.

Oh, don't act like
you're watching out for them.

You're just using them
to prop yourself up.

What are you talking about?

You want everyone to see you
as this big, brave hero

who only cares
about the team, but...

Oh, God, get out of here.
Stupid vacuum.

Uh-oh. I think you triggered
some kind of network response.

Aw, what are they gonna do,
suck us to death?

Ow!

They're gonna suck us to death!

There's too many of them!

We need a barricade.

No, guys, grab a bone.
Just swing on 'em.

- No, help me build.
- Don't listen to him.

- Stand down, Mariner.
- You stand down.

- I told you to stand down.
You stand down. - Uh...

We are strong.
We take your mine.

It is our mine now.

Stay strong, brother.
We miners shall overcome.

Dude, you're clearly Starfleet.

Your hands are super soft
and clean.

Uh, no, I'm a miner
with a heart of gold.

And I have dad issues.

Okay, the Pakleds' shuttle
is unattended. Now's our chance.

Hold it.
We got a 'Led over there.

We have to stun him,
or he could sound

- the alarm.
- But our orders are to avoid...

We can't leave anything
up to chance.

Oh.

Sorry, pal,
but this ain't your lucky...

Huh?

It's a pile of snacks.

Hey! Those miners
are stealing our snacks.

We're blown!

Fall back to that tunnel!

There,
this should buy us some time.

I'll try to come up with a plan.

Enough with this whole
textbook leader routine.

We're not buying it.

I'm just trying to step up here.

You're the one with the act.

The whole
"dive in headfirst" thing.

You're just desperate to be seen
as some kind of renegade hero.

No, I'm not. Diving in
is just how I work best.

And I like to think things out.

Sorry if that comes off
all "textbook" to you.

What, you think I'm trying to be
like Ransom up in here?

Square jaw, all squinting,
like, "Let's roll"?

Uh, no, not a good look.

I'm just surprised that you'd
ever trash-talk a superior.

Are you kidding me?

Don't even get me started
on Stevens.

Do you know he keeps a log
about his mustache?

Gah, this isn't gonna hold
much longer!

If I had thought for one second
before I hit that stupid vacuum,

none of this
would have happened.

No, it was my call
to go this way.

I led us into this mess.

Great. So, then, what, neither
of us should be in charge?

- Oh.
- Ha!

- Rutherford, Tendi.
- What do you two think we should do?

- We two? - I-I don't know,
this isn't really my...

Well, actually,
these are Excalbian bones.

With enough friction, they
break down and become acidic.

Which we could use
to cut through the wall paneling

and access
the engineering sub-conduits.

And those run
the length of the ship.

Honestly, we could've bypassed

all this scary stuff
by using them from the start.

What?! Why didn't you
say something before?

Because you guys were in charge.

- Uh...
- Uh...

There. This will buy us
some time, but not much.

- Riker to away team.
- Go ahead.

We've entered the system. What
the hell happened down there?

Long story, sir.
Requesting emergency transport.

- Get them out of there.
- I can't, sir.

- Why the hell not?
- There's some sort

of distortion field.

It must be interfering
with the transporter.

That Varuvian explosion
must have released an ion cloud.

Hang in down there.
We'll figure this out.

Get the saw!

We need to hit the door
with the saw!

I can't say this is
how I pictured going out,

but I'll tell you what,

there's no other blokes
I'd rather be with.

This is what
we signed up for, men:

to boldly go.

Boimler?

Uh...

I'm sorry, I gotta be honest.

I didn't join Starfleet
to get in phaser fights.

I signed up to explore,

to be out in space
making new discoveries

and peaceful
diplomatic solutions.

That's boldly going.

And you know what?

I'd love to be
in a string quartet.

I love that when Riker was
on the Enterprise,

he was out there jammin'
on the trombone

and catching love disease
and acting in plays

and meeting his identical
transporter clone Thomas.

That stuff may not seem as cool
as what you guys do,

but it's Starfleet all the way.

Ha-ha! Ho-ho-ho!

I got into Starfleet
to study moss.

I joined up
'cause I love beaming.

Thanks, Boimler.
If we're going out,

at least it's remembering
that Starfleet

isn't just about kicking
enemy ass.

Can't believe the captain has
a transporter clone.

Yeah, Thomas Riker...
he was created

from a distortion field
that was actually a lot like...

What are you doing?

We might not have to die!

Ah.

Ha-ha! Yeah!

Okay, the escape pods
should be down this way,

if that's still the plan.

It is if you say it is, buddy.

Stay alert, stay alive.

- Damn!
- Damn!

Captain, it's okay
if you want to check in

- on Lieutenant Kayshon.
- No, no, no, no.

I can be a hands-off captain.

I don't mind.

Captain,
two escape pods just launched

- from the collector's ship.
- What?! On screen.

What the hell is going on?

The ship tried to collect us,
Captain.

Where's Kayshon?

Kayshon,
when he became a puppet.

This is what being hands-off
gets me?

Well, never again!

Initiating drill.

Reversing the polarity.

I got signal lock.

Get them out of there!

Whoa, no. No, no, no, no.

Boimler?

- Boimler!
- Ah. Huh?

Oh, God.

The distortion field's
reengaging.

- I'm losing him.
- That's not an option!

Rerouting main power.

Initiating
second containment beam.

Well done, Mr. Boimler.

Thank you, Riker...
I mean, Mr. Captain.

Get him to sickbay,
have the doc check him out.

Riker to bridge.
Give me warp

- in the factor of five, six, seven...
- Captain,

shuttle craft incoming
from the planet, it's...

- ours.
- What? That's not possible.

We all beamed off.

Shuttle pilot's in distress.

- Requesting transport.
- Could be a Pakled trap.

Energize.

- Mr. Boimler?
- You guys made it!

Oh! The Pakleds got stuck
in the door, so I...

Aw, man. A copy of me
got transported out?

Boo.

I'm the transporter clone? Boo.

The distortion field must've...

Oh. I've heard this tune before.

Let's hear it for the Boimlers!

Yeah!

Meeting your exact copy
is never easy.

Believe me, I know.

Mr. Boimlers,
you showed great bravery

- and ingenuity down there.
- Thank you, sir.

I just wish
I could keep both of you.

Starfleet Command feels
our missions are too complex

to have the added complication
of two identical crew members.

I'm afraid one of you will have
to return to the Cerritos...

as an ensign.

I should be the one to go.

- Huh?
- All right, works for me.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
I thought we were both

gonna step forward,
and then, like, you'd go,

- "Oh, I should be the one to go."
- Nah. I'm good to stay.

- But what was that nod?
- I don't know, I just thought

we were doing a copy thing.

But thanks, man,
that's really big of you.

Hey, I wish I could be on a ship
that's exploring

and solving science mysteries
instead of nonstop fighting.

- Like on the D?
- Exactly.

Damn, do I miss that ship.

Enjoy it while you have it,
Bradward.

I will, sir.

Hey, Cap, the name Brad

just feels kind of "meh"
to me now.

What do you think
of "William" Boimler?

I love it!
Hey, you like Romulan ale?

Ah, I can learn.

Computer, play "Nightbird."

Hey, Enterprise.

- You did good.
- Go boldly out there, mate.

You think
we'll ever see him again?

I do.

'Cause, like, his clone's here.
We'll see him every day.

- Whoa!
- Oh, yeah.

This isn't my first
"guy got turned into a doll."

He'll be back to normal
in an hour.

Aw. Look at this little guy.

I could use him
as puppet therapy.

- Hey! Migleemo!
- Yeah?

Read the sign!

Whoa! Did you get
double promoted? Congrats!

Huh? What do you mean?

You got a whole new pip
right there.

Nah, just a piece of corn.

That's always happening.

Half the time
when you see someone

with the wrong amount
of pips around here,

it's usually
just delicious street corn.

- Want some?
- Sure.

I had you wrong, Jet.
I thought you were

another one of those try-hards
who only wants to rank up.

But you love the job,
and I respect that.

Thanks, Mariner.
It's the best job in the galaxy.

You're a true Lower Decker, man.

And something tells me
we're gonna make a great team...

Oh, my God, it's Boimler!
It's my friend!

- What are you doing here!?
- You're supposed to be on the Titan!

I got transporter cloned.

- Ha-ha! Pay up.
- Damn it!

How did you possibly guess that?

Oh, I don't know, it just seemed
like a Boimler thing to happen.

Clone me's staying on the Titan,
so here I am.

Wow. If you think
you can leave us

for the big time
only to come crawling back,

you would be right about that!

Get over here, man. Sit down!

Oh, there's no room
for me to, um...

- Oh. I'll let you all catch up.
- Ha-ha-ha!

- I know you got, like, a shared history and stuff...
- Oh, man, so much to tell you.

- We just did a mission on a collector's ship.
- Ooh! And our away team leader

got zapped by a ray
and it turned him into a puppet!

- What?!
- So, was the Titan

as awesome as everybody says?

Eh, it was a bunch
of complex characters

thrown into heavily
serialized battles

which always ended
in mind-blowing twists

and made me question
the basic tenets of my reality.

But who cares about that?

Tell me more
about this puppet ray.

That's the kind of stuff
I live for.

Time for shots!

All right! Shots! Shots!

- Whoa! - Yeah, go get 'em.
You have a lot of work

- to do for abandoning me.
- You're not letting that go, huh?

- Nope.
- Yeah, so hurry up, huh?

- Drinks don't replicate themselves.
- Okay, okay, I'm going.

From now on, you'll get
all the drinks, you backstabber.

- Lower Decks! Lower Decks!
- Ha-ha!

Are you tired?
Because you've been

Arnock, at the race of Natara
through my mind all night.

Well,
Shaka, when the walls fell.

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org

Chirp.