Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:37,453
[NARRATOR READS
ON-SCREEN TEXT]
2
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,819
MAN 1:
Houston, this is Condor.
3
00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:12,947
We are doing an EVA of the payload.
4
00:01:13,115 --> 00:01:16,200
We are about to present
the module with--
5
00:01:16,368 --> 00:01:17,368
[BEEPlNG]
6
00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:18,661
What the...?
7
00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:22,081
Oh, my gentle Jesus!
8
00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:25,418
Houston, we have a probIem.
9
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:30,089
COMPUTERlZED VOlCE:
Launch procedure commence.
10
00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:34,135
[MAN 2 CACKLlNG]
11
00:01:44,855 --> 00:01:46,522
WOMAN:
Oh, yeah!
12
00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:49,859
Oh, yes! Yes! Oh!
13
00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:55,990
And l'm spent. Whoo.
14
00:01:56,408 --> 00:02:00,119
-Do you smoke after sex?
-l don't know, baby. I never looked.
15
00:02:02,206 --> 00:02:05,625
-Whoo!
-Oh, Austin.
16
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:09,378
-What shall we do now?
-Well, l've got an idea.
17
00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,798
-Why don't we shag?
-Again?
18
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:15,218
Sure, baby. We're onIy up to chapter 11
in the Kamasutra.
19
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:18,763
Don't you wanna try the Wheelbarrow
or the Praying Donkey...
20
00:02:18,931 --> 00:02:21,182
...or the Chinese Shag Swing?
21
00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:23,768
l'm gonna get us some more champagne,
Jungle Boy.
22
00:02:23,936 --> 00:02:24,977
[TAPE REWlNDS]
23
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:27,814
l'm gonna get us some more champagne,
Jungle Boy.
24
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:33,861
Are you okay?
25
00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:36,113
l've never felt better, Austin.
26
00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:39,408
AIl right, then.
27
00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:42,995
l'm just gonna go watch a movie.
28
00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:45,748
[MUSlC PLAYS ON TV]
29
00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:49,377
Hey , In Like Flint.
That's my favorite movie.
30
00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:01,180
Vanessa, what's going on?
31
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:06,269
l don't know what you mean, Austin.
l'm the same--
32
00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:07,770
[MUTED DlALOGUE]
33
00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:10,147
You must--
34
00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:12,066
[SPEAKlNG lN SPANlSH]
35
00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:14,277
Oh, my God!
36
00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:20,116
Vanessa!
37
00:03:20,284 --> 00:03:22,076
You're a Fembot!
38
00:03:22,244 --> 00:03:23,870
VANESSA:
No shit, Sherlock.
39
00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:28,541
Machine-gun jubblies?
40
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:31,252
How did I miss those, baby?
41
00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:34,171
VANESSA: Perhaps next time
you should try foreplay.
42
00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:36,799
Right. Oh, my God.
43
00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:57,153
DR. EVlL [ON RECORDlNG]:
Here's your wedding present, Mr. Powers.
44
00:03:57,321 --> 00:04:02,366
A kamikaze bride from me, Dr. Evil.
45
00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:15,588
Oh, thank God.
46
00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:25,014
l can't believe Vanessa...
47
00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:27,141
...my bride...
48
00:04:27,309 --> 00:04:29,644
...my one true love...
49
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:33,689
...the woman who taught me
the beauty of monogamy...
50
00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:37,526
...was a Fembot alI aIong.
51
00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:41,697
Wait a tick. That means l'm single again.
52
00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:44,659
Oh, behave!
53
00:04:45,077 --> 00:04:46,953
Yeah!
54
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,288
Yeah, baby, yeah!
55
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,040
Halt!
56
00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:54,043
[GRUNTS]
57
00:04:54,211 --> 00:04:56,295
[GROWLS]
58
00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:06,722
WOMAN:
Disgusting.
59
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:13,312
AUSTlN:
Yeah, baby, yeah!
60
00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:28,202
Ooh.
61
00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:31,580
Yeah.
62
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,967
Hey, how are you? Good to see you.
63
00:05:43,135 --> 00:05:45,386
Good. Hey. Yeah.
64
00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:47,471
WOMAN:
Revolting.
65
00:05:49,975 --> 00:05:51,934
What's that? What's that? Oh.
66
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:54,603
Yes. Yeah, that looks good on you, man!
67
00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:57,148
Hey, what's going on?
Good to see you guys.
68
00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:59,817
Yes. Good to see you.
69
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:02,361
Yeah.
70
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:07,033
Rabbis, how are you? Nice meat.
Yes, nice meat.
71
00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:08,701
Photo op.
72
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:10,036
[ALL SPEAK lN HEBREW]
73
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,019
Yeah, baby.
74
00:07:17,729 --> 00:07:20,189
[CHEERlNG]
75
00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:35,746
GENERAL: Keep a close eye on
that Kreplachistan situation.
76
00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:37,414
Sir.
77
00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:43,879
AUDlENCE [CHANTlNG ON TV]:
Jerry, Jerry.
78
00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:46,841
SPRlNGER:
Okay. Thank you. Thank you very much.
79
00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:49,093
If you just joined us, today's topic is:
80
00:07:49,261 --> 00:07:52,054
"My father is evil
and he wants to take over the world."
81
00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:54,223
[AUDlENCE BOOlNG]
82
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:57,726
Okay, let's meet Scott Evil.
83
00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:01,522
[AUDlENCE APPLAUDlNG]
84
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,900
-Hi, Scott. Nice to have you with us.
-Thanks, Jerry.
85
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:06,735
Tell us about your father.
86
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:10,906
Well, my dad is the head
of a worldwide evil organization...
87
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:13,242
...with aspirations of world domination.
88
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:17,413
Wow, pretty serious stuff.
Where is he now?
89
00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:21,959
He's, like, cryogenically frozen,
orbiting the Earth or something.
90
00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:23,377
SPRlNGER:
That's what you think.
91
00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:25,462
But we have a surprise for you, Scott.
92
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:28,757
Okay, let's bring out Scott's father,
Dr. Evil.
93
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:30,259
[AUDlENCE BOOlNG]
94
00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:33,596
What? I didn't-- What?
95
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:37,266
General, we've got a situation here.
96
00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:41,645
What is it, sergeant?
97
00:08:41,813 --> 00:08:43,230
DR. EVlL:
Hello, Scott.
98
00:08:44,107 --> 00:08:45,816
Daddy's back.
99
00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:49,612
How could you do this to me?
On national television.
100
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:52,114
DR. EVIL: Well, throw me a fricking bone
here, Scott.
101
00:08:52,908 --> 00:08:55,159
Why'd you run out on me?
102
00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:58,120
Because you're not quite evil enough.
103
00:08:58,288 --> 00:08:59,622
[AUDlENCE GROANlNG]
104
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:01,123
Well, it's true.
105
00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:03,918
You're quasi-evil.
106
00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:05,628
You're semi-evil.
107
00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,588
You're the margarine of evil.
108
00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:10,758
You're the Diet Coke of evil.
109
00:09:10,926 --> 00:09:13,469
Just one calorie. Not evil enough.
110
00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:15,387
What are you? Some kind of freak?
111
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,973
-Hey, shut up, ****off!
-Okay. Okay, come on.
112
00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:21,310
-I'll kick your ***, punk!
-Bring it on, you skanky *****.
113
00:09:21,478 --> 00:09:22,937
DR. EVlL:
All right, all right. Come on.
114
00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:25,314
No one talks to my son like that.
It's okay.
115
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:27,733
You mother******* piece of ****!
116
00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:32,988
Yeah, ****! I'll kick your ***,
you ****ing ****sucker!
117
00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:34,281
You piece of ****!
118
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:39,828
You were born in your mother's ****,
you **********.
119
00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:41,664
AUDlENCE: Jerry, Jerry.
DR. EVlL: I'm okay.
120
00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:42,998
I'm okay.
121
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:46,168
All right, you were born
in your mother's ******* *******!
122
00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:49,421
-I'll ****ing kill you!
SCOTT: I'll kill you both!
123
00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:52,174
DR. EVlL:
There you go. Great.
124
00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:55,344
There you go, I got your hood!
I got your hood!
125
00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:58,097
Settle down. Okay, settle down.
It's okay. Okay, okay.
126
00:09:58,265 --> 00:10:00,099
It's only a television show. Calm down.
127
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:03,018
-Okay, I'm all right. I'm easy.
-Okay. Everything okay?
128
00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:06,730
-Get this jerk out of here.
-I'll give you a **** piece of ****--
129
00:10:06,982 --> 00:10:08,274
You mother******.
130
00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:12,278
He's biting me!
131
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:15,030
He's biting me! The ****er's biting me!
132
00:10:15,198 --> 00:10:16,949
**** off, you ****!
133
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:19,535
Give me that! The world is mine!
134
00:10:19,703 --> 00:10:21,996
The world is mine, you *******!
135
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:28,836
Chh. Ah.
136
00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:33,132
[R.E.M.'S "DRAGGlN' THE LlNE"
PLAYS OVER CAR STEREO]
137
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:35,551
[DASHBOARD BEEPlNG]
138
00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:38,470
COMPUTERlZED VOlCE: You've got mail.
AUSTlN: Hello, Basil.
139
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,973
Hello, Austin. How was your honeymoon?
140
00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:44,310
Well, it turns out
that Vanessa was a Fembot.
141
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:47,646
Yes, we knew all along, sadly.
142
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:51,233
Anyway, I have a new assignment
for you, Austin.
143
00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:53,402
You're scheduled for a photo shoot...
144
00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:56,739
...and one of the models
works for Dr. Evil.
145
00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:58,157
Groovy, baby!
146
00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:01,118
Shaguar, ho!
147
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:10,878
Show me to the models, baby.
148
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:14,006
Let the magic begin.
149
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:17,134
Who have we got today? Okay, great.
150
00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:18,927
Austin, l've heard a lot about you.
151
00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:21,889
l'm Rebecca Romijn.
l don't believe l've had the pIeasure.
152
00:11:22,057 --> 00:11:26,101
Well, of course you haven't had
the pleasure, Rebecca.
153
00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:28,228
We just met, baby, yeah.
154
00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:34,068
Who are you, baby?
155
00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:35,861
lvana.
156
00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:38,280
lvana Humpalot.
157
00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:39,907
Excuse me?
158
00:11:40,075 --> 00:11:41,784
lvana Humpalot.
159
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:46,246
And "lvana" toilet made out of gold,
but it's just not in the cards, now, is it?
160
00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:49,208
You know.
161
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:51,460
Okay, everyone. Let's get started.
162
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:53,796
Yes! Beautiful! Feeling it!
163
00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:57,257
Let's get some smiles. lt's all in here.
That's it. Yes.
164
00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:58,926
Let's let the inside out.
165
00:11:59,094 --> 00:12:00,302
Okay, you're an animal!
166
00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:02,971
Yes! There we go! You're a tiger!
167
00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:04,306
You're Tony the Tiger!
168
00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:05,974
You're great!
169
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:09,061
Very good. Loving it.
Now you're a lemur.
170
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:12,272
Running as a pack. Yes, yes. We go left.
171
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,316
We go right. Yes, yes, yes.
172
00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:17,111
There's a predator out in the jungle.
What's going on?
173
00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:18,570
Burrow! Burrow!
174
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,489
You're a lemur! lt's all you've got!
175
00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:22,783
You don't have sharp teeth
capable of biting.
176
00:12:22,951 --> 00:12:25,244
Make interconnected tunnels
like the Vietcong.
177
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:26,453
And look! Look, look!
178
00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:28,580
l'm not even shooting you. lt's crazy.
179
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,249
And l'm spent.
180
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:32,626
Right, that's a wrap, everyone.
181
00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:34,336
Miss Humpalot.
182
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:36,088
Da, darling?
183
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:39,842
-Shall we?
-Give me moment.
184
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:51,979
MAN:
Dr. Evil...
185
00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:56,525
...several years ago, we invested
in a small, Seattle-based coffee company.
186
00:12:57,819 --> 00:13:02,030
Today, Starbucks
offers premium-quaIity coffee...
187
00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:04,032
...at affordable prices.
188
00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:06,785
Delish.
189
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,121
Dr. Evil...
190
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:14,877
...if we shift our resources away
from evil empires and toward Starbucks...
191
00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:17,880
...we can increase our profits fivefoId.
192
00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:21,592
Number Two, I make the decisions here,
okay?
193
00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:23,886
l demand a littIe respect.
194
00:13:24,053 --> 00:13:27,055
Dr. Evil, you have a littIe of the--
195
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:28,974
Silence!
196
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:32,519
l will not toIerate your insolence!
197
00:13:32,687 --> 00:13:34,062
Frau Farbissina.
198
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:37,733
[SPEAKS lN GERMAN]
199
00:13:37,901 --> 00:13:39,026
How are things?
200
00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:43,030
l have come to embrace the love
that dare not speak its name.
201
00:13:43,198 --> 00:13:45,199
To my right is my lover.
202
00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:47,493
We met at the LPGA tour.
203
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:50,537
Her name is Unibrau.
204
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:52,206
Right on.
205
00:13:53,708 --> 00:13:55,542
Welcome, Unibrau.
206
00:13:57,921 --> 00:13:58,921
Doctor, you....
207
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,923
-What?
-You have a little...
208
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:03,008
...milk nose mustache.
209
00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:07,262
l know. I know, I know.
210
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:11,266
Meant to. lt's how we drink it in Belgium.
211
00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:12,726
lt's called a Belgian Dip.
212
00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:16,104
Dr. Evil, while you were frozen...
213
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:19,775
...we began a program to clone you.
214
00:14:19,943 --> 00:14:23,111
-Cool.
-Send in the clone!
215
00:14:23,446 --> 00:14:26,782
He is exactly like you in every way...
216
00:14:30,787 --> 00:14:33,247
...except one-eighth your size.
217
00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:36,083
DR. EVlL:
Breathtaking.
218
00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:38,544
l shaIl call him...
219
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:41,046
...Mini-Me.
220
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:47,928
Your stock is rising, Number Two.
221
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:52,808
Come, Mr. Bigglesworth.
222
00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:57,813
Mini-Me, are you hungry?
223
00:14:58,231 --> 00:14:59,439
Something to eat?
224
00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:00,732
Not even a Hot Pocket?
225
00:15:02,485 --> 00:15:03,485
An Eggo?
226
00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:07,114
No. No, we don't gnaw on our kitty.
227
00:15:07,282 --> 00:15:08,615
Leave-- No.
228
00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:10,742
Leave Mini-Mr. Bigglesworth aIone.
229
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,537
Just love him and stroke him.
230
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:19,042
As you know, every diabolical scheme
that l've hatched...
231
00:15:19,210 --> 00:15:22,170
...has been thwarted by Austin Powers.
232
00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:24,506
And why is that, ladies and gentIemen?
233
00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:27,676
You never kill him when you get the chance,
and you're a dope?
234
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:30,429
No, no, no.
235
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,389
No, no.
236
00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:35,017
[SQUlRTlNG]
237
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:37,436
Down. Down, Mini-Me.
238
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:43,150
No. Austin Powers always defeats me
because he has mojo.
239
00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:44,526
Mojo?
240
00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:46,403
Mojo.
241
00:15:46,571 --> 00:15:50,532
The libido, the life force,
the essence, the right stuff.
242
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:53,535
What the French call a certain...
243
00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:55,454
...l don't know what.
244
00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:57,539
Ladies and gentlemen...
245
00:15:57,707 --> 00:16:01,335
...l've developed a device
for traveling through time which I caIl...
246
00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:03,545
...a "time machine."
247
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:06,715
Using this "time machine"...
248
00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:11,136
...l'm going to go back to the '60s
and steal Austin Powers' mojo.
249
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:12,721
lf you have a time machine...
250
00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:17,267
...why not just go back and kill Austin
when he's sitting on the crapper?
251
00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:21,355
How about no, Scott, okay?
252
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:26,193
Why not use your knowIedge of the future
to play the stock market?
253
00:16:26,361 --> 00:16:28,070
We could make trillions.
254
00:16:28,571 --> 00:16:31,740
Why make trillions when we could make...
255
00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:34,326
...billions?
256
00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:38,246
A trilIion is more than a billion, numbnuts.
257
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,082
AIl right, zip it.
258
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:41,917
-You can't even--
-Zip it!
259
00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:43,543
Zip.
260
00:16:43,711 --> 00:16:46,713
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
ex-"zip it" A.
261
00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:50,759
-Number Two, would you pIease--?
-Look, l'm Zippy Longstocking.
262
00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:54,179
[SlNGlNG] When a problem comes along
You must zip it
263
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:55,514
[lMlTATES WHlP CRACKlNG]
264
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,182
Zip it good
265
00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:58,350
Frau, would you--?
266
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,435
[SPEAKlNG lN FORElGN LANGUAGE]
267
00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:02,896
Subtitle: Zip it.
268
00:17:03,064 --> 00:17:04,189
-l'm just trying--
-Zip!
269
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,775
Would you like to have
a suckle of my zipple?
270
00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:08,735
-l want you-- Stop--
-Zip! Eh.
271
00:17:08,903 --> 00:17:09,986
-Zip it! Zip it!
SCOTT: This--
272
00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:11,196
[DR. EVlL MUMBLlNG]
273
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:12,572
SCOTT:
You know--
274
00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:13,782
You're like a child.
275
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:17,536
Talking-- lf you-- Just-- One time--
276
00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:20,372
Zip it. Unveil the time portal.
277
00:17:31,426 --> 00:17:32,968
As you know...
278
00:17:33,136 --> 00:17:35,804
...Austin Powers was frozen in 1967.
279
00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:40,225
Therefore, I will traveI to 1969...
280
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:42,936
...two years after he was frozen.
281
00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:44,730
He'll be helpless.
282
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:49,443
Ladies and gentlemen, l'm about
to travel through time. I bid you adieu.
283
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:52,154
[GRUNTS]
284
00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:58,493
l'm okay. l'm okay.
285
00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:02,330
Not turned on, I suppose. Yeah.
286
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:04,332
Do you think you could...?
287
00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:06,918
Yeah, thanks.
288
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,171
Come, Mini-Me!
289
00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:15,510
Don't be scared, Mini-Me.
290
00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:26,188
Ah.
291
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:30,442
Dr. Evil. Welcome to 1969.
292
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,736
Thank you, Number Two.
293
00:18:32,904 --> 00:18:35,739
You look so healthy and youthful.
294
00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:37,073
Well, thank you.
295
00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:41,661
FARBlSSlNA: Heil, doctor.
-And Frau, you look so....
296
00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:46,833
Right.
297
00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:50,545
You know, Dr. Evil, I received your memo
from the future.
298
00:18:50,713 --> 00:18:52,714
Your new lair is up and running.
299
00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:55,717
ls it a hollowed-out volcano,
like I asked for?
300
00:18:56,844 --> 00:18:58,887
Of course.
301
00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:01,264
DR. EVlL:
Good.
302
00:19:01,432 --> 00:19:04,392
Then it's all going perfectly to plan.
303
00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:07,938
[CACKLlNG]
304
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:34,506
Yeah, baby, yeah!
305
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:41,972
When did you get the clapper?
306
00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:46,351
November, 1964.
Dutch East lndies, shore leave.
307
00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:49,354
Do you know how we keep warm
in Russia?
308
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:50,605
[CHORTLES]
309
00:19:50,773 --> 00:19:52,607
l can guess, baby.
310
00:19:52,775 --> 00:19:53,900
We play chess.
311
00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:56,111
l guessed wrong.
312
00:19:56,279 --> 00:20:00,532
lt takes a keen intellect to play chess,
Mr. Powers.
313
00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:04,870
l assume you know how to play.
314
00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,788
[CHUCKLES]
315
00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:08,039
Of course, baby.
316
00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:11,626
[GASPS]
317
00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:31,146
What to do, what to do.
318
00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:51,041
[MAKES SQUlRTlNG NOlSE]
319
00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:04,346
Let me ask you a question.
320
00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:06,681
And be honest.
321
00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:09,142
Do I make you horny, baby?
322
00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:10,352
Do l?
323
00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:12,771
Do I make you randy?
324
00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:14,147
Yeah?
325
00:21:16,192 --> 00:21:18,026
No more games.
326
00:21:18,194 --> 00:21:21,321
Dr. Evil sent me here to kilI you...
327
00:21:21,489 --> 00:21:23,198
...but I find you so....
328
00:21:24,367 --> 00:21:26,660
-Sexy and....
-Yes. Yes.
329
00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:29,162
Just make love to me.
330
00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:32,791
Now, Austin Powerovich. Hurry.
331
00:21:34,502 --> 00:21:36,711
[lVANA GASPS]
332
00:21:37,546 --> 00:21:39,798
You are hairy, like animal!
333
00:21:39,966 --> 00:21:42,717
Grr, baby. Very grr.
334
00:21:42,885 --> 00:21:45,345
Make love to me, monkey man.
335
00:21:46,681 --> 00:21:52,227
Dr. Evil, I don't understand how
we can hope to steal Austin Powers' mojo.
336
00:21:52,395 --> 00:21:54,062
We've tried this before.
337
00:21:55,272 --> 00:21:57,816
The security around Powers is foolproof.
338
00:21:58,192 --> 00:22:02,570
Ah, but this time we have an operative
inside the Ministry of Defense.
339
00:22:02,738 --> 00:22:03,822
RealIy?
340
00:22:04,907 --> 00:22:07,033
Yes, reaIly.
341
00:22:08,494 --> 00:22:12,247
He's steaIing Austin Powers' mojo
even as we speak.
342
00:22:12,415 --> 00:22:13,581
RealIy?
343
00:22:15,710 --> 00:22:17,335
RealIy.
344
00:22:19,088 --> 00:22:20,880
He's a disgruntled Scottish guard...
345
00:22:21,048 --> 00:22:24,426
...known for his lethal temper
and his unusual eating habits.
346
00:22:24,593 --> 00:22:26,261
He weighs a metric ton.
347
00:22:26,429 --> 00:22:27,721
His name:
348
00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:30,098
Fat Bastard.
349
00:22:32,184 --> 00:22:36,104
We've had reports there's a spy
in the Ministry of Defense.
350
00:22:36,272 --> 00:22:38,606
The contents of this room
are vital to the country.
351
00:22:38,774 --> 00:22:41,192
Be on special alert.
352
00:22:41,777 --> 00:22:42,944
Yes, sir!
353
00:22:43,112 --> 00:22:46,614
And try to lose some weight,
for God's sake.
354
00:22:47,074 --> 00:22:48,533
Yes, sir!
355
00:22:51,287 --> 00:22:54,456
Mr. English Colonel,
telling me to Iose weight.
356
00:22:55,124 --> 00:22:58,126
Oh, l'm a hard case, he says.
357
00:22:58,294 --> 00:23:02,964
Well, Iisten up, sonny Jim, I ate a baby!
358
00:23:03,132 --> 00:23:04,299
Oh, aye.
359
00:23:04,467 --> 00:23:07,469
Baby: The other Other White Meat.
360
00:23:07,636 --> 00:23:10,472
Baby: lt's what's for dinner.
361
00:23:21,650 --> 00:23:23,651
[LAUGHlNG]
362
00:23:35,539 --> 00:23:38,958
Oh, l've got your mojo now, sonny Jim!
363
00:23:41,796 --> 00:23:44,839
-What's wrong?
-Crikey!
364
00:23:45,007 --> 00:23:47,675
l've lost my mojo.
365
00:23:51,472 --> 00:23:55,141
BASlL: Austin, the test results confirm
that you've lost your mojo.
366
00:23:55,309 --> 00:23:57,644
And it couldn't come at a worse time.
367
00:23:57,812 --> 00:24:01,689
We have evidence that Dr. Evil
has developed a time machine...
368
00:24:01,857 --> 00:24:04,818
...and has traveIed back to the year 1969.
369
00:24:05,319 --> 00:24:08,113
Luckily, we too have developed
a time-travel device...
370
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:11,491
...to transport you back to the '60s.
371
00:24:12,952 --> 00:24:16,162
This is where you input your destination.
372
00:24:16,330 --> 00:24:19,833
Wait a tick.
Basil, if I travel back to 1969...
373
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,668
...and I was frozen in 1967...
374
00:24:21,836 --> 00:24:24,170
...presumably,
l couId go visit my frozen self.
375
00:24:24,338 --> 00:24:26,965
But if l'm stiIl frozen in 1967...
376
00:24:27,133 --> 00:24:29,884
...how could I have been unthawed
in the '90s and traveIed--
377
00:24:30,052 --> 00:24:32,011
Oh, no, l've gone cross-eyed.
378
00:24:32,179 --> 00:24:36,558
l suggest you don't worry about
this sort of thing and just enjoy yourself.
379
00:24:36,725 --> 00:24:40,228
-That goes for you all too.
-Yes.
380
00:24:40,396 --> 00:24:41,896
This is smashing, Basil.
381
00:24:42,064 --> 00:24:48,820
l'll go back to the '60s, recharge my mojo,
defeat Dr. Evil and be back in time for tea.
382
00:24:48,988 --> 00:24:51,906
Swinging '60s, here I come, baby, yeah!
383
00:24:52,074 --> 00:24:53,533
Move! Move!
384
00:24:53,701 --> 00:24:55,285
Move!
385
00:24:57,079 --> 00:24:58,746
No, Austin, no! No!
386
00:24:59,123 --> 00:25:00,498
Sorry.
387
00:25:00,666 --> 00:25:03,126
-l bet that's expensive.
MAN 1: Quite aIl right.
388
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,088
AUSTlN: Oh, sorry, here we go.
MAN 2: Yes, yes.
389
00:25:07,256 --> 00:25:08,298
MAN 3: Almost.
-Sorry!
390
00:25:08,465 --> 00:25:09,799
MAN 4:
Easy, easy.
391
00:25:09,967 --> 00:25:11,634
God damn barrels, Austin.
392
00:25:11,802 --> 00:25:14,179
Yeah, see, here we go, here we go.
AIl right.
393
00:25:14,346 --> 00:25:16,598
Yeah, baby, yeah!
394
00:25:17,933 --> 00:25:20,101
Godspeed, Austin Powers.
395
00:25:30,112 --> 00:25:33,656
[STEPPENWOLF'S "MAGlC CARPET RlDE"
PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]
396
00:25:38,871 --> 00:25:40,914
l'm home.
397
00:25:50,799 --> 00:25:52,300
Austin Powers!
398
00:25:52,468 --> 00:25:55,178
-Austin Powers?
-Yes.
399
00:25:56,222 --> 00:26:00,266
l'm back in the '60s, baby, yeah!
400
00:26:04,021 --> 00:26:05,563
Yeah, all right, there you are.
401
00:26:14,365 --> 00:26:16,074
Yeah!
402
00:26:18,827 --> 00:26:23,331
Hey, hey, hey.
Get your hands off my heinie, baby.
403
00:26:43,269 --> 00:26:44,811
Who are you today, baby?
404
00:26:46,021 --> 00:26:48,356
My name is Robin Swallows.
405
00:26:48,524 --> 00:26:51,192
Swallows. That's an interesting name.
406
00:26:51,860 --> 00:26:53,945
Maiden name is Spitz.
407
00:26:54,113 --> 00:26:56,698
Well, which is it, baby?
Spitz or Swallows?
408
00:27:01,203 --> 00:27:05,665
[THE GUESS WHO'S "AMERlCAN WOMAN"
PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]
409
00:27:20,222 --> 00:27:21,264
[GROWLS]
410
00:27:45,581 --> 00:27:49,709
Those are skintight.
How do you get into those pants, baby?
411
00:27:49,877 --> 00:27:52,003
You can start by buying me a drink.
412
00:27:58,177 --> 00:28:00,261
Hm. Nuh-uh-uh-uh.
413
00:28:03,265 --> 00:28:05,516
l want. I want.
414
00:28:24,453 --> 00:28:27,872
You better play it cool.
Your friend works for Dr. Evil.
415
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:31,793
And just who do you work for, baby?
416
00:28:34,755 --> 00:28:36,964
ROBlN:
Tell me, Mr. Powers.
417
00:28:37,466 --> 00:28:38,716
Do you swing?
418
00:28:38,884 --> 00:28:40,635
Are you kidding, baby?
419
00:28:40,803 --> 00:28:44,347
l put the "grr" in "swinger," baby!
420
00:28:45,057 --> 00:28:47,809
Then why don't you come right...
421
00:28:47,976 --> 00:28:49,644
...over...here.
422
00:28:49,812 --> 00:28:51,437
Okay, I could do that.
423
00:28:53,148 --> 00:28:54,524
Easy.
424
00:28:54,691 --> 00:28:55,733
Cheeky.
425
00:29:03,033 --> 00:29:05,451
[WOMEN SCREAMlNG]
426
00:29:06,161 --> 00:29:08,579
Prepare to die, Powers!
427
00:29:10,457 --> 00:29:11,916
Use the machine gun!
428
00:29:20,467 --> 00:29:21,676
[GUN CLlCKS EMPTY]
429
00:29:21,844 --> 00:29:24,178
Say goodbye, Powers!
430
00:29:26,265 --> 00:29:28,641
Use the bazooka!
431
00:29:29,810 --> 00:29:33,271
No!
432
00:29:36,650 --> 00:29:38,192
[SCREAMlNG]
433
00:29:40,737 --> 00:29:44,657
The fall will kill us both, Powers!
434
00:29:53,750 --> 00:29:56,169
You can't win, Powers.
435
00:29:58,297 --> 00:30:00,590
Why won't you die?
436
00:30:04,803 --> 00:30:05,845
[HORN HONKlNG]
437
00:30:06,013 --> 00:30:07,054
Care for a ride?
438
00:30:11,435 --> 00:30:14,061
AUSTlN:
Go! Go! Go!
439
00:30:14,229 --> 00:30:16,105
Go!
440
00:30:19,359 --> 00:30:21,235
Austin Powers, I presume.
441
00:30:21,403 --> 00:30:22,945
Powers by name...
442
00:30:23,113 --> 00:30:26,157
...Powers by reputation.
443
00:30:26,325 --> 00:30:28,367
Felicity Shagwell, ClA.
444
00:30:28,535 --> 00:30:32,413
Shagwell by name,
Shag-very-welI by reputation.
445
00:30:32,581 --> 00:30:34,123
Oh, behave.
446
00:30:35,334 --> 00:30:37,835
Not if I can help it.
447
00:30:40,297 --> 00:30:43,633
Yes. Ooh.
448
00:30:50,182 --> 00:30:51,516
You know what's remarkable...
449
00:30:51,683 --> 00:30:56,270
...is how much England looks
in no way like southern California.
450
00:31:13,163 --> 00:31:14,247
Crikey!
451
00:31:14,414 --> 00:31:17,291
We've got company.
lt looks like one of Dr. Evil's assassins.
452
00:31:27,302 --> 00:31:28,928
[SCREAMlNG]
453
00:31:40,482 --> 00:31:42,149
AUSTlN:
Steady now. Steady.
454
00:31:42,317 --> 00:31:44,068
Hands up.
455
00:31:45,028 --> 00:31:47,572
Do you remember me, Austin Powers?
456
00:31:47,990 --> 00:31:54,161
l don't recalI your name,
but your fez is familiar.
457
00:31:57,666 --> 00:31:59,792
My name is Mustafa.
458
00:31:59,960 --> 00:32:02,795
And l'm the man
who will be killing you now.
459
00:32:02,963 --> 00:32:04,338
[YELLlNG]
460
00:32:16,226 --> 00:32:17,310
Who sent you?
461
00:32:17,477 --> 00:32:18,603
You'll have to kill me.
462
00:32:18,770 --> 00:32:20,104
Who sent you?
463
00:32:20,272 --> 00:32:22,023
Kiss my ass, Powers.
464
00:32:22,190 --> 00:32:23,524
Who sent you?
465
00:32:23,859 --> 00:32:25,693
Dr. Evil.
466
00:32:27,029 --> 00:32:29,363
-That was easy.
-That was easy.
467
00:32:29,531 --> 00:32:31,032
Why did you tell us?
468
00:32:31,199 --> 00:32:33,743
l can't stand to be asked
the same question three times.
469
00:32:33,910 --> 00:32:35,286
lt just irritates me.
470
00:32:35,454 --> 00:32:37,371
Where is Dr. Evil hiding?
471
00:32:37,539 --> 00:32:40,583
Why wouId he tell me?
l'm just one of his low-level functionaries.
472
00:32:40,751 --> 00:32:44,378
-Where is Dr. Evil hiding?
-You'll have to torture me. I'll never tell.
473
00:32:44,546 --> 00:32:48,007
-Where's Dr. EviI hiding?
-Damn. Three times.
474
00:32:48,342 --> 00:32:51,177
He's hiding in the secret volcano lair.
475
00:32:51,345 --> 00:32:54,513
Where's Dr. Evil's secret volcano lair?
476
00:32:55,557 --> 00:32:57,224
l spit at that question!
477
00:32:57,392 --> 00:33:00,061
Do I reaIly have to ask you
two more times?
478
00:33:00,228 --> 00:33:01,687
Go to hell, Powers.
479
00:33:02,314 --> 00:33:03,689
Fine.
480
00:33:03,857 --> 00:33:08,903
Where is Dr. Evil's secret volcano lair?
481
00:33:09,071 --> 00:33:11,906
-l will take it to the grave with me!
-Aha!
482
00:33:12,074 --> 00:33:13,991
You have to answer.
He asked three times.
483
00:33:14,159 --> 00:33:16,077
No, no, no.
484
00:33:16,703 --> 00:33:20,081
The second question was, "Do l
really have to ask you two more times?"
485
00:33:20,499 --> 00:33:23,417
That would be the first question
in a new line of questioning...
486
00:33:23,585 --> 00:33:26,170
...and wouldn't count
in the other line of questioning.
487
00:33:26,338 --> 00:33:27,588
Yeah, he's right.
488
00:33:27,756 --> 00:33:29,924
l'm just trying
to get information from you.
489
00:33:30,092 --> 00:33:33,386
l don't need any consistency
in the questions, do l?
490
00:33:33,553 --> 00:33:36,514
No, no. You're preaching
to the converted. l-- Uh!
491
00:33:36,682 --> 00:33:38,641
Well, if l'm preaching to the converted...
492
00:33:38,809 --> 00:33:41,727
...why are you being so sIavish
to the three-question form?
493
00:33:41,895 --> 00:33:44,939
You're not even looking at me, man.
Now you're just being rude.
494
00:33:45,107 --> 00:33:46,774
You're not listening, man.
495
00:33:46,942 --> 00:33:48,776
[SCREAMlNG]
496
00:33:50,278 --> 00:33:51,278
[THUDS]
497
00:33:51,446 --> 00:33:53,280
Oh, crikey.
498
00:33:56,952 --> 00:34:00,287
Well, Austin, I think this time
you may have finalIy met your match.
499
00:34:00,455 --> 00:34:01,872
Oh, no, baby.
500
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:05,418
l've beaten Dr. Evil before,
and I'll beat him again.
501
00:34:05,585 --> 00:34:07,545
l was talking about me.
502
00:34:12,509 --> 00:34:13,509
[AUSTlN LAUGHS]
503
00:34:13,677 --> 00:34:15,302
AUSTlN:
Yeah.
504
00:34:15,721 --> 00:34:19,265
MUSTAFA: Hello, up there.
l seem to have fallen down a cliff.
505
00:34:19,433 --> 00:34:22,101
l'm still alive, but l'm very badly injured.
506
00:34:22,269 --> 00:34:25,187
l think my legs might be broken,
but I'll try to stand up.
507
00:34:25,355 --> 00:34:26,689
[CRACKlNG AND GROANlNG]
508
00:34:26,857 --> 00:34:28,357
Yes, they are broken.
509
00:34:28,525 --> 00:34:32,319
Perhaps you could toss me a Band-Aid
or some antibacterial cream.
510
00:34:32,487 --> 00:34:36,240
l'm in an extraordinarily large
amount of pain.
511
00:34:36,408 --> 00:34:40,995
The bone has gone through the skin.
l fear it might be gangrenous.
512
00:34:41,163 --> 00:34:45,499
The wound is beginning to smell
a little like almonds, which is not good.
513
00:34:45,667 --> 00:34:46,876
PIease?
514
00:34:47,210 --> 00:34:48,419
No one?
515
00:34:48,587 --> 00:34:50,171
-Sorry.
-l'll try the other leg.
516
00:34:50,338 --> 00:34:51,756
[CRACKlNG AND GROANlNG]
517
00:34:55,969 --> 00:34:57,303
[HORN HONKlNG]
518
00:34:57,471 --> 00:35:01,015
Two of my assassins are dead.
l will not toIerate failure.
519
00:35:01,183 --> 00:35:05,853
l'm the man who will maintain
the dignity of this evil organization.
520
00:35:06,021 --> 00:35:08,022
What the hell was that?
521
00:35:08,190 --> 00:35:09,982
FARBlSSlNA:
Volcanic eruption!
522
00:35:19,159 --> 00:35:23,496
May I present to you
my spy in the Ministry of Defense:
523
00:35:24,539 --> 00:35:26,791
Fat Bastard.
524
00:35:27,876 --> 00:35:31,003
First things first. Where's your shitter?
525
00:35:31,171 --> 00:35:34,548
l've got a turtle head poking out.
526
00:35:35,550 --> 00:35:36,717
Charming.
527
00:35:37,219 --> 00:35:38,677
l'm not kidding.
528
00:35:38,845 --> 00:35:42,932
l got a crap on deck
that could choke a donkey.
529
00:35:43,558 --> 00:35:45,684
lt's squidgey.
530
00:35:46,937 --> 00:35:50,189
Christ, l'm getting all emotional from it,
you know?
531
00:35:51,233 --> 00:35:52,733
Right....
532
00:35:52,901 --> 00:35:56,570
Fat Bastard,
could I have my mojo, please?
533
00:35:56,738 --> 00:35:58,572
Where's my money?
534
00:35:58,740 --> 00:36:01,033
DR. EVlL:
AIl right, give him his money.
535
00:36:03,620 --> 00:36:06,747
Jesus Christ, he's tiny.
536
00:36:07,207 --> 00:36:10,835
l've had bigger chunks of corn
in my crap.
537
00:36:12,212 --> 00:36:14,338
Wait a minute.
538
00:36:14,923 --> 00:36:17,550
He kind of Iooks Iike a baby.
539
00:36:17,717 --> 00:36:20,594
Come here, l'm gonna eat you!
540
00:36:20,762 --> 00:36:23,806
l'm bigger than you,
l'm higher on the food chain.
541
00:36:23,974 --> 00:36:26,100
Get in my belly!
542
00:36:26,268 --> 00:36:28,227
Come on!
543
00:36:29,396 --> 00:36:31,105
You're lucky, wee man!
544
00:36:32,691 --> 00:36:34,316
Can I have a hug?
545
00:36:35,527 --> 00:36:36,777
Dr. Evil.
546
00:36:37,529 --> 00:36:39,905
Let me make you a deal, alI right?
547
00:36:40,073 --> 00:36:42,616
You get the mojo, you keep your money...
548
00:36:42,784 --> 00:36:45,286
...and I'll get your baby.
549
00:36:47,289 --> 00:36:50,040
Right....
550
00:36:50,292 --> 00:36:53,627
[SINGlNG] I want my baby back, baby back,
baby back ribs
551
00:36:53,795 --> 00:36:57,590
I want my baby back, baby back,
baby back ribs
552
00:36:57,757 --> 00:36:59,133
Excuse me.
553
00:36:59,301 --> 00:37:03,137
Chili, baby back ribs
554
00:37:03,305 --> 00:37:06,724
Dr. Evil, what are we going
to do about Powers?
555
00:37:06,892 --> 00:37:10,728
Austin Powers
is no longer a threat to me.
556
00:37:10,896 --> 00:37:13,564
l have his mojo.
557
00:37:13,732 --> 00:37:15,482
[CACKLES]
558
00:37:50,018 --> 00:37:53,520
AIl right, everyone. You're dismissed.
559
00:37:54,022 --> 00:37:56,231
Private time.
560
00:38:27,847 --> 00:38:31,225
Dr. Evil, I don't want
this to interfere with our work.
561
00:38:31,393 --> 00:38:33,560
Don't worry, mama.
562
00:38:33,728 --> 00:38:36,146
Things won't get weird.
563
00:38:44,406 --> 00:38:46,407
One for me.
564
00:38:48,576 --> 00:38:50,828
And one for my homeys.
565
00:38:52,914 --> 00:38:54,248
Herr Doctor .
566
00:39:01,464 --> 00:39:03,090
[lN GERMAN]
567
00:39:24,112 --> 00:39:25,571
Hello.
568
00:39:25,739 --> 00:39:27,489
So, what happened here?
569
00:39:27,657 --> 00:39:29,783
Apparently a rogue agent
named Fat Bastard...
570
00:39:29,951 --> 00:39:32,536
...infiItrated the unit
assigned to guard your chamber.
571
00:39:32,704 --> 00:39:36,373
He used some sort of nerve gas.
These men don't remember a thing.
572
00:39:36,541 --> 00:39:40,961
Captain, crosscheck Fat Bastard's profile
with the mainframe at Langley.
573
00:39:41,129 --> 00:39:43,255
-Yes, ma'am.
AUSTlN: Can I borrow that, please?
574
00:39:43,423 --> 00:39:45,799
Thank you. Yes, Austin, yes, yes.
575
00:39:45,967 --> 00:39:49,136
Look at me.
l'm a sexy bitch, baby, yeah.
576
00:39:49,304 --> 00:39:50,804
You're a popsicle, yes.
577
00:39:51,181 --> 00:39:53,474
Yes. No! No!
578
00:39:53,641 --> 00:39:55,476
And l'm spent.
579
00:39:55,643 --> 00:39:57,978
Let's go, baby. Yeah!
580
00:40:02,609 --> 00:40:03,901
Hey there. How are you?
581
00:40:16,831 --> 00:40:18,999
Come on, Felicity, come on.
582
00:40:48,988 --> 00:40:50,697
Yeah, babe! Whoo!
583
00:40:50,865 --> 00:40:52,658
Yeah! Whoo!
584
00:40:52,826 --> 00:40:55,202
-Shall we sit down? Yeah.
-Yeah.
585
00:40:55,370 --> 00:40:58,664
AUSTlN: This is great.
-Groovy.
586
00:40:59,874 --> 00:41:02,668
So, Austin, what's the future like?
587
00:41:02,836 --> 00:41:05,754
Well, everyone has a flying car...
588
00:41:05,922 --> 00:41:08,298
...entire meals come in pill form...
589
00:41:08,466 --> 00:41:12,219
...and the Earth is ruIed by
damned dirty apes!
590
00:41:12,679 --> 00:41:13,720
Oh, my God.
591
00:41:14,264 --> 00:41:15,722
Had you for a second.
592
00:41:17,392 --> 00:41:19,560
You can have me for even longer,
if you want.
593
00:41:20,478 --> 00:41:23,730
You're one groovy baby...
594
00:41:25,233 --> 00:41:26,358
...baby.
595
00:41:28,069 --> 00:41:30,445
Too many "babys."
596
00:41:31,281 --> 00:41:34,241
Don't you dare move.
597
00:41:36,828 --> 00:41:42,166
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Burt Bacharach
and Mr. Elvis CosteIlo.
598
00:41:45,879 --> 00:41:49,089
[SlNGlNG]
What do you get when you fall in love?
599
00:41:49,757 --> 00:41:52,050
A guy with a pin to burst your bubble
600
00:41:52,218 --> 00:41:54,094
-WouId you care to dance?
-l'd love to.
601
00:41:54,262 --> 00:41:57,055
That's what you get for all your trouble
602
00:41:57,223 --> 00:42:08,609
I'll never fall in love again
603
00:42:10,278 --> 00:42:15,115
Don't tell me what it's all about
604
00:42:15,283 --> 00:42:19,203
Because I've been there
And I'm glad I'm out
605
00:42:19,370 --> 00:42:22,998
Out of those chains
Those chains that bind you
606
00:42:23,166 --> 00:42:27,044
-That is why I'm here to remind you
-Ooh!
607
00:42:27,212 --> 00:42:30,547
What do you get when you fall in love
608
00:42:30,715 --> 00:42:34,468
You only get lies and pain and sorrow
609
00:42:34,636 --> 00:42:38,263
So for at least until tomorrow
610
00:42:38,431 --> 00:42:52,527
I'll never fall in love again
611
00:42:52,695 --> 00:42:54,613
You're quite good on your feet.
612
00:42:54,781 --> 00:42:57,157
l'm even better off my feet.
613
00:43:10,296 --> 00:43:12,297
Oh, behave, baby.
614
00:43:18,888 --> 00:43:19,930
-Hi.
-Hi.
615
00:43:20,098 --> 00:43:21,848
Hi there.
616
00:43:23,393 --> 00:43:26,186
-How are things?
-Good, Herr Doctor. And you?
617
00:43:26,354 --> 00:43:29,147
Great.
618
00:43:29,315 --> 00:43:31,358
Just taking a break?
619
00:43:32,443 --> 00:43:35,779
Try the Hot Pockets.
They're breathtaking.
620
00:43:39,033 --> 00:43:40,909
-lt got weird, didn't it?
-Yeah.
621
00:43:41,077 --> 00:43:42,619
l knew it.
622
00:43:43,162 --> 00:43:44,788
You haven't caIled.
623
00:43:44,956 --> 00:43:46,206
Look, we talked about this.
624
00:43:46,374 --> 00:43:49,126
We promised each other
it wouldn't get weird.
625
00:43:49,294 --> 00:43:52,629
l can't let my feelings for you
interfere with my taking over the world.
626
00:43:52,797 --> 00:43:54,214
You know that.
627
00:43:54,382 --> 00:43:57,718
You know, I will never love another man.
628
00:43:59,721 --> 00:44:01,138
Yes, that's true.
629
00:44:01,681 --> 00:44:03,181
Yeah.
630
00:44:04,726 --> 00:44:07,144
Dr. Evil, l'm late.
631
00:44:07,312 --> 00:44:09,688
-No, you got here right on time.
-No.
632
00:44:09,856 --> 00:44:13,650
l mean l'm late.
633
00:44:20,700 --> 00:44:22,242
SCOTT:
Dad.
634
00:44:22,869 --> 00:44:24,328
Scott.
635
00:44:25,038 --> 00:44:26,413
Hey there, sport.
636
00:44:27,290 --> 00:44:28,623
What are you doing here?
637
00:44:28,791 --> 00:44:32,461
l was just thinking that maybe
we can work all this out.
638
00:44:32,628 --> 00:44:35,255
After all, you are my father.
639
00:44:35,423 --> 00:44:39,551
Scott, you had your chance, okay?
640
00:44:39,719 --> 00:44:42,054
l already had someone
created in my image.
641
00:44:42,221 --> 00:44:44,264
He's eviI, he wants
to take over the world...
642
00:44:44,432 --> 00:44:47,851
...and he fits easily
into most overhead storage bins.
643
00:44:48,561 --> 00:44:49,603
SCOTT: Him?
DR. EVlL: Yes.
644
00:44:49,771 --> 00:44:51,646
Look at him. He's crazy.
645
00:44:51,814 --> 00:44:54,608
He's like a vicious little Chihuahua thing.
646
00:44:56,402 --> 00:44:58,236
He'll kill me the first chance he gets.
647
00:44:58,404 --> 00:44:59,738
Probably.
648
00:45:00,948 --> 00:45:03,784
l love you.
649
00:45:12,293 --> 00:45:16,046
l am a sexy bitch, yes.
650
00:45:16,214 --> 00:45:19,633
Felicity, make yourself at home, baby.
651
00:45:19,801 --> 00:45:21,927
What do you think of my shag pad,
darling?
652
00:45:22,095 --> 00:45:24,388
lt's amazing, Austin.
653
00:45:28,434 --> 00:45:30,227
Wait a tick.
654
00:45:35,900 --> 00:45:38,860
That's how my mojo was stolen.
Fat Bastard.
655
00:45:39,570 --> 00:45:41,154
Uh-oh.
656
00:45:41,322 --> 00:45:45,784
She's a professional agent.
She's not interested in shagging.
657
00:45:45,952 --> 00:45:49,496
PIease, God.
Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch.
658
00:45:49,664 --> 00:45:52,499
FELlClTY:
Austin, l'm waiting.
659
00:45:58,714 --> 00:46:01,967
How about one of
your world-famous massages?
660
00:46:02,802 --> 00:46:06,346
You mean a sensual massage?
661
00:46:06,848 --> 00:46:10,684
Right, then. Okay....
662
00:46:11,060 --> 00:46:12,769
Here we go. Yes.
663
00:46:12,937 --> 00:46:14,855
Yes.
664
00:46:18,276 --> 00:46:21,361
Oh, wait a minute.
Something's itching me.
665
00:46:22,530 --> 00:46:24,030
That's better.
666
00:46:24,198 --> 00:46:25,824
Crikey!
667
00:46:34,041 --> 00:46:36,126
How does that feel, baby?
668
00:46:36,294 --> 00:46:37,794
Lower.
669
00:46:38,171 --> 00:46:40,922
How does that feel, baby?
670
00:46:42,133 --> 00:46:43,216
What?
671
00:46:43,384 --> 00:46:46,052
You don't have to be cute with me.
We're way past that.
672
00:46:46,971 --> 00:46:48,013
We are?
673
00:46:48,598 --> 00:46:50,307
What do you think?
674
00:46:51,684 --> 00:46:53,560
Listen, Felicity...
675
00:46:55,021 --> 00:46:56,480
...l'm sorry.
676
00:46:57,398 --> 00:46:59,065
l can't do this.
677
00:47:00,568 --> 00:47:01,860
l have to go.
678
00:47:06,073 --> 00:47:07,199
ls it me?
679
00:47:09,285 --> 00:47:11,244
l can't explain.
680
00:47:19,420 --> 00:47:21,755
[BEEPlNG]
681
00:47:22,715 --> 00:47:25,425
Hello, Agent Shagwell. Where's Austin?
682
00:47:25,593 --> 00:47:28,678
l must've said something wrong,
so he just left all of a sudden.
683
00:47:29,263 --> 00:47:33,683
Listen, Felicity. I don't want you
getting too close to Austin.
684
00:47:33,851 --> 00:47:36,061
It's not meant to be.
685
00:47:36,229 --> 00:47:38,146
l don't get too close to anybody, BasiI.
686
00:47:38,314 --> 00:47:41,566
-My interest is purely professional.
-Good.
687
00:47:41,734 --> 00:47:44,444
Then you won't mind tracking down
Fat Bastard tonight.
688
00:47:44,612 --> 00:47:45,612
No problem.
689
00:47:45,780 --> 00:47:50,325
We need you to plant this homing device
on him by any means necessary.
690
00:47:50,493 --> 00:47:51,618
No problem.
691
00:47:51,953 --> 00:47:53,745
Keep up the good work.
692
00:47:53,913 --> 00:47:57,624
Remember, by any means necessary.
693
00:48:15,101 --> 00:48:16,643
Look at yourself.
694
00:48:17,353 --> 00:48:20,146
You used to be so virile.
695
00:48:21,148 --> 00:48:23,441
You were a swinger, man.
696
00:48:24,193 --> 00:48:26,570
And now you're nothing.
697
00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:31,157
But at least it can't get any worse.
698
00:48:31,576 --> 00:48:34,160
Well, surprise, surprise, huh?
699
00:48:34,328 --> 00:48:36,621
Look at that meal.
700
00:48:36,789 --> 00:48:38,540
l'm dead sexy.
701
00:48:38,708 --> 00:48:41,334
Look at my sexy body.
702
00:48:41,502 --> 00:48:42,669
Oh, yeah.
703
00:48:42,837 --> 00:48:45,130
Oh, look, l'm like a singer.
704
00:48:45,298 --> 00:48:48,341
[SlNGlNG]
Sexy man, sexy man
705
00:48:48,509 --> 00:48:51,261
Eating like a sexy man can
706
00:48:51,429 --> 00:48:52,762
By the way...
707
00:48:52,930 --> 00:48:55,140
...would you like some chicken?
l've got more.
708
00:48:55,308 --> 00:48:56,683
No, thanks.
709
00:48:57,518 --> 00:49:00,562
Let's see, what have we got here?
l'm done with that.
710
00:49:00,730 --> 00:49:02,355
AIl right.
711
00:49:03,232 --> 00:49:05,025
AIl right, then.
712
00:49:05,192 --> 00:49:06,693
l'll just put this down here.
713
00:49:11,657 --> 00:49:14,701
Remember, by any means necessary.
714
00:49:14,869 --> 00:49:16,536
Must've eaten them already.
715
00:49:17,371 --> 00:49:18,663
Ooh!
716
00:49:19,707 --> 00:49:22,125
Frisky, are we?
717
00:49:23,169 --> 00:49:24,461
-Give it up!
-Ah!
718
00:49:25,296 --> 00:49:30,050
Ladies and gentlemen, we're about to begin
phase two of our evil project.
719
00:49:30,217 --> 00:49:32,886
Or is it phase...? I don't know phases.
720
00:49:33,054 --> 00:49:38,725
Anyways, this is the phase in which
we put a giant "laser" on the moon.
721
00:49:38,893 --> 00:49:43,647
As you know, the moon rotates
around the Earth, like so:
722
00:49:49,737 --> 00:49:53,573
When the moon reaches
its appropriate lunar alignment...
723
00:49:53,741 --> 00:49:56,576
...it will destroy Washington, D.C.
724
00:49:57,078 --> 00:50:01,498
You see, l've turned the moon
into what I like to calI...
725
00:50:01,666 --> 00:50:03,875
...a "death star."
726
00:50:04,168 --> 00:50:05,543
[LAUGHS]
727
00:50:06,128 --> 00:50:08,380
-What?
-Nothing, Darth.
728
00:50:08,547 --> 00:50:09,714
What did you call me?
729
00:50:09,882 --> 00:50:12,092
No, nothing. Rip-off!
730
00:50:13,594 --> 00:50:14,886
BIess you.
731
00:50:15,054 --> 00:50:17,847
Anyways, the key to this plan
is the giant laser.
732
00:50:18,015 --> 00:50:21,851
lt was invented by the noted
Cambridge physicist Dr. Parsons.
733
00:50:22,019 --> 00:50:26,648
Therefore we shall caIl it
"the Alan Parsons Project."
734
00:50:26,816 --> 00:50:29,109
Oh, my God.
735
00:50:29,610 --> 00:50:30,610
What now?
736
00:50:30,778 --> 00:50:34,948
The AIan Parsons Project
is a progressive rock band in 1982.
737
00:50:35,116 --> 00:50:38,743
Why don't you just call it
"Operation Wang Chung," ass.
738
00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:40,704
-Well, what should we...?
SCOTT: Nothing.
739
00:50:40,871 --> 00:50:43,206
l'm sure "Operation Bananarama"
will be huge.
740
00:50:43,374 --> 00:50:44,958
-What are you saying?
-lf you--
741
00:50:45,126 --> 00:50:46,876
-Shh!
-Trying to be hip--
742
00:50:47,044 --> 00:50:49,129
Www.Ssh.com.
743
00:50:49,296 --> 00:50:52,048
-Dot-org.
-You're so--
744
00:50:52,216 --> 00:50:55,885
Dr. Evil, if we could put aside
the famiIy squabbling for a moment...
745
00:50:56,053 --> 00:50:58,972
...l think we can get down
to some serious business here.
746
00:50:59,140 --> 00:51:00,724
-Really?
-Yeah.
747
00:51:00,891 --> 00:51:02,642
l don't like that insolent tone.
748
00:51:02,810 --> 00:51:04,310
NUMBER TWO: I meant nothing by it.
DR. EVlL: No, no.
749
00:51:04,478 --> 00:51:07,689
-You want to run things here? ls that it?
-No, not at all.
750
00:51:07,857 --> 00:51:10,400
You wanna be daddy?
ls that it, Number Two?
751
00:51:10,568 --> 00:51:12,152
You wanna wear the daddy pants?
752
00:51:12,319 --> 00:51:15,113
-Are you gonna cry? Are you gonna cry?
-l don't think so.
753
00:51:15,281 --> 00:51:18,324
-You gonna cry? You gonna cry?
-What are you--?
754
00:51:18,951 --> 00:51:20,660
Are you gonna squirt some?
Are you gonna cry?
755
00:51:20,828 --> 00:51:22,120
[CRYlNG]
756
00:51:22,288 --> 00:51:24,998
Yeah, see? You're gonna cry, huh?
You're a big man now, huh? Yeah.
757
00:51:25,166 --> 00:51:27,000
Thought so.
758
00:51:48,189 --> 00:51:49,564
Felicity.
759
00:51:49,732 --> 00:51:50,774
Austin.
760
00:51:50,941 --> 00:51:53,193
About what happened last night....
761
00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:56,112
-That's okay. You don't have to explain.
-No, no, no.
762
00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:58,281
You don't understand. You see...
763
00:52:00,409 --> 00:52:02,660
...l've lost my mojo.
764
00:52:04,371 --> 00:52:06,873
-So that's why you...?
-Yes, yes.
765
00:52:09,001 --> 00:52:10,710
l thought you didn't like me.
766
00:52:10,878 --> 00:52:13,963
Oh, no, baby. You're very shagadelic.
767
00:52:14,131 --> 00:52:16,049
l just didn't wanna fall in love again...
768
00:52:16,217 --> 00:52:19,219
...and I thought you'd never love me
without my mojo.
769
00:52:19,386 --> 00:52:21,387
lt's not you. You're fab.
770
00:52:21,555 --> 00:52:25,683
You're switched on.
You're a bit of aIl right, yes.
771
00:52:26,393 --> 00:52:30,230
That is so great.
There's something I shouId telI you too.
772
00:52:30,397 --> 00:52:33,358
Last night, I planted a homing device
on Fat Bastard.
773
00:52:33,526 --> 00:52:37,153
Smashing, baby. Then we can track down
Fat Bastard, get my mojo...
774
00:52:37,321 --> 00:52:41,741
...go back to my place, hop on
the good foot and do the bad thing.
775
00:52:41,909 --> 00:52:45,453
But there's more. ln order to get close
to Fat Bastard, I had to--
776
00:52:45,621 --> 00:52:49,582
Oh! Hello, hello. The signal's coming
through. He's at Paddington Station.
777
00:52:49,750 --> 00:52:51,584
Let's go!
778
00:52:53,712 --> 00:52:55,046
AUSTlN:
We're close, baby.
779
00:52:55,214 --> 00:52:58,925
FELlClTY: This way. Straight.
No, no, left. Through here.
780
00:53:01,804 --> 00:53:04,556
We've got him.
Private, bring up the ram.
781
00:53:09,645 --> 00:53:11,229
Go, go, go!
782
00:53:11,397 --> 00:53:13,022
MAN:
Where is he?
783
00:53:13,899 --> 00:53:15,608
Oh, my God!
784
00:53:15,776 --> 00:53:18,611
Fat Bastard left a floater!
785
00:53:18,779 --> 00:53:23,950
ln the name of all things sacred,
that is the most foul-smelling thing ever!
786
00:53:24,118 --> 00:53:25,785
Somebody flush it down.
787
00:53:25,953 --> 00:53:27,370
No, no. Nobody touch anything.
788
00:53:27,538 --> 00:53:30,331
We have to get this sample to the lab
to be analyzed.
789
00:53:31,917 --> 00:53:33,835
l'm gonna get it.
790
00:53:41,927 --> 00:53:45,388
Austin, there you are.
Has the sample been analyzed?
791
00:53:45,556 --> 00:53:50,310
Cor, baby.
You look very shagadelic, yeah.
792
00:53:50,477 --> 00:53:55,607
But do we really have to be here, Felicity?
l mean, it's so boring.
793
00:53:55,774 --> 00:53:57,734
l don't believe in science.
794
00:53:57,902 --> 00:54:00,820
When it comes to the spy game...
795
00:54:00,988 --> 00:54:02,780
...to me, it's all instinct.
796
00:54:07,745 --> 00:54:09,746
BASlL: Hello, everybody.
-Hello, BasiI.
797
00:54:09,914 --> 00:54:11,831
The results are in.
798
00:54:11,999 --> 00:54:14,834
We've discovered trace elements
of a rare vegetable...
799
00:54:15,002 --> 00:54:18,630
...found only on one isIand,
here, in the Caribbean.
800
00:54:18,797 --> 00:54:20,048
Whoop-dee-doo!
801
00:54:20,215 --> 00:54:22,842
What does it all mean, Basil?
802
00:54:23,010 --> 00:54:28,056
lt means that this is the location
of Dr. Evil's lair.
803
00:54:28,223 --> 00:54:30,099
Smashing, Basil.
804
00:54:30,267 --> 00:54:31,643
Cor.
805
00:54:31,810 --> 00:54:34,520
This coffee smells like shit.
806
00:54:37,107 --> 00:54:39,317
lt is shit, Austin.
807
00:54:40,027 --> 00:54:42,695
Oh, good, then it's not just me.
808
00:54:47,201 --> 00:54:48,618
lt's a bit nutty.
809
00:54:48,786 --> 00:54:51,579
[PEOPLE GROANlNG]
810
00:54:59,213 --> 00:55:00,797
Excuse me, Dr. Evil.
811
00:55:00,965 --> 00:55:03,967
l have to speak to you
about this Mini-Me.
812
00:55:04,134 --> 00:55:05,385
DR. EVlL:
He's not fitting in?
813
00:55:05,552 --> 00:55:08,721
ls he giving off too much
of a creepy Oompa-Loompa vibe?
814
00:55:08,889 --> 00:55:10,473
NUMBER TWO:
No, it's just that...
815
00:55:10,641 --> 00:55:12,183
...he bites.
816
00:55:14,520 --> 00:55:16,229
He's a biter.
817
00:55:19,191 --> 00:55:21,109
What's wrong, Mini-Me?
818
00:55:21,276 --> 00:55:23,403
Something you wanna tell us?
819
00:55:24,947 --> 00:55:27,740
Teething. Yeah.
820
00:55:28,158 --> 00:55:31,661
Get me the president
of the United States of America!
821
00:55:32,705 --> 00:55:36,040
MAN: He's on, he's on.
-What do you want, Dr. EviI?
822
00:55:36,208 --> 00:55:38,209
Mr. President, in 12 hours...
823
00:55:38,419 --> 00:55:42,672
...I will destroy Washington, D.C.
with this giant "laser."
824
00:55:44,091 --> 00:55:46,426
What the--? Jesus.
825
00:55:47,469 --> 00:55:48,803
DR. EVlL:
Mini-Me.
826
00:55:48,971 --> 00:55:51,097
Stop humping the laser.
827
00:55:51,265 --> 00:55:52,932
Okay. Honest to God.
828
00:55:53,100 --> 00:55:57,770
Why don't you and the giant "laser"
get a fricking room, for God sakes?
829
00:55:58,480 --> 00:55:59,605
Mr. President.
830
00:55:59,773 --> 00:56:01,983
After I destroy Washington, D.C...
831
00:56:02,151 --> 00:56:05,737
...l will destroy another major city
every hour, on the hour.
832
00:56:05,904 --> 00:56:08,114
That is, unless, of course, you pay me...
833
00:56:09,491 --> 00:56:13,578
...one hundred billion dollars.
834
00:56:18,167 --> 00:56:21,044
Doctor Evil, this is 1969.
835
00:56:21,211 --> 00:56:23,963
That amount of money
doesn't even exist.
836
00:56:25,632 --> 00:56:29,844
That's like saying,
"l want a kajillion-bajiIlion dollars."
837
00:56:31,055 --> 00:56:33,014
Come on, Mr. President...
838
00:56:33,182 --> 00:56:35,308
...show me the money.
839
00:56:35,476 --> 00:56:36,726
Show you what money?
840
00:56:36,894 --> 00:56:39,645
"Show me the money!
Show me the money!"
841
00:56:39,813 --> 00:56:43,107
"You had me at 'hello."' Tear.
Nothing? No?
842
00:56:43,275 --> 00:56:46,194
Psst. lt's 1969.
843
00:56:46,361 --> 00:56:49,322
Jerry Maguire won't even come out
for another 30 years.
844
00:56:49,615 --> 00:56:52,575
Nobody knows
what you're talking about, ass.
845
00:56:53,160 --> 00:56:56,788
Scott, Daddy's working. Okay?
846
00:56:56,955 --> 00:57:00,583
And when you're in the main chamber,
try and use the big-boy voice, okay?
847
00:57:01,293 --> 00:57:03,002
Thank you.
848
00:57:03,504 --> 00:57:05,922
Mr. President, allow me to demonstrate...
849
00:57:06,090 --> 00:57:09,509
...the awesome lethality
of the Alan Parsons Project.
850
00:57:09,676 --> 00:57:11,677
Fire the laser!
851
00:57:17,351 --> 00:57:19,519
PRESlDENT:
Damage report! Damage report!
852
00:57:20,187 --> 00:57:23,356
lt's okay. lt's aIl right. Come on.
853
00:57:24,024 --> 00:57:27,193
Actually, that was just footage
from the movie lndependence Day...
854
00:57:27,361 --> 00:57:30,113
...but the real laser
would be a lot like that. Yeah.
855
00:57:30,280 --> 00:57:31,364
Scary.
856
00:57:33,283 --> 00:57:34,450
Now, Dr. Evil--
857
00:57:34,618 --> 00:57:38,037
Talk to the hand, because the face
don't want to hear it anymore.
858
00:57:38,664 --> 00:57:40,706
What hand? TaIk to your hand?
859
00:57:40,874 --> 00:57:43,793
You ain't all that
and a bag of potato chips.
860
00:57:43,961 --> 00:57:45,378
What are you talking about?
861
00:57:45,546 --> 00:57:48,881
Don't go there, girlfriend. Mm-hm.
862
00:57:49,633 --> 00:57:51,342
Whose girlfriend?
863
00:57:51,510 --> 00:57:53,678
Don't mess with me. I'm one crazy mofo.
864
00:57:53,846 --> 00:57:57,515
I had to pop a cop because he
wasn't giving me my props in Oaktown.
865
00:57:57,683 --> 00:58:00,143
No? I heard that somewhere.
866
00:58:01,979 --> 00:58:03,229
You're an idiot.
867
00:58:04,398 --> 00:58:08,109
Mr. President,
l think we have an understanding.
868
00:58:08,277 --> 00:58:09,402
Bye-bye.
869
00:58:09,862 --> 00:58:13,489
Dr. Evil, what are our plans
regarding Austin Powers?
870
00:58:13,657 --> 00:58:18,035
Austin Powers?
He's the snake to my mongoose.
871
00:58:18,203 --> 00:58:20,872
Or the mongoose to my snake.
872
00:58:21,039 --> 00:58:24,750
Either way, it's bad.
l don't know animals.
873
00:58:24,918 --> 00:58:27,170
But I do know this:
874
00:58:27,337 --> 00:58:29,839
This time, it's personal.
875
00:58:30,591 --> 00:58:32,383
KilI him.
876
00:58:37,806 --> 00:58:39,932
AUSTlN:
There's Dr. Evil's island.
877
00:59:14,301 --> 00:59:15,301
Let's set up camp.
878
00:59:15,469 --> 00:59:19,055
AUSTlN: Be careful with that bag.
There's explosives in it.
879
00:59:19,890 --> 00:59:22,558
This could be dangerous.
880
00:59:32,277 --> 00:59:36,155
[SlNGlNG]
What if God was one of us
881
00:59:36,782 --> 00:59:40,993
Just a slob like one of us
882
00:59:41,662 --> 00:59:44,580
[BABBLlNG]
883
00:59:54,508 --> 00:59:56,050
Well done. Very good.
884
00:59:56,218 --> 00:59:58,844
Dr. Evil. That was fantastic.
885
00:59:59,012 --> 01:00:00,680
Thank you, Number Two.
886
01:00:00,847 --> 01:00:02,181
l wrote that. Yeah.
887
01:00:02,349 --> 01:00:05,351
Dad, he put this in my bed.
888
01:00:05,519 --> 01:00:08,229
-Who?
-Your stupid Mini-You.
889
01:00:08,397 --> 01:00:11,190
He put roadkilI in my sheets!
890
01:00:11,608 --> 01:00:13,192
DR. EVlL:
What--? Mini-Me.
891
01:00:13,360 --> 01:00:16,028
Don't you ever do that again!
You hear me?
892
01:00:16,196 --> 01:00:18,531
Don't you ever do that again!
893
01:00:19,157 --> 01:00:20,783
l can't stay mad at you.
894
01:00:20,951 --> 01:00:23,244
Look at that ponem.
895
01:00:24,246 --> 01:00:28,040
Dr. Evil's headquarters
is right over that next ridge.
896
01:00:28,208 --> 01:00:30,126
-Let me look.
-Yeah-- Ugh!
897
01:00:30,585 --> 01:00:32,503
Damn it. How do we get in?
898
01:00:32,671 --> 01:00:33,713
Hello, Mommy.
899
01:00:33,880 --> 01:00:37,049
Mommy, can I have some chocolates?
l want some Mars Bars.
900
01:00:37,217 --> 01:00:39,969
-Austin. Austin!
-Don't smack my bottom, Mommy!
901
01:00:41,346 --> 01:00:42,972
Sorry, Iove.
902
01:00:43,140 --> 01:00:45,975
l got stuck in your dirty pilIows.
903
01:00:46,143 --> 01:00:48,019
FELlClTY:
Let's look at the map.
904
01:00:49,354 --> 01:00:50,646
AUSTlN:
Oh, great.
905
01:00:50,814 --> 01:00:54,442
FELlClTY: What's our plan?
AUSTlN: According to this map...
906
01:00:54,609 --> 01:00:57,403
...the entire island
is crawling with Dr. Evil's guards.
907
01:00:57,571 --> 01:01:00,906
l wanna make sure the explosives
didn't get wet, but I can't find them.
908
01:01:01,074 --> 01:01:03,034
Look in the bottom.
909
01:01:03,201 --> 01:01:05,828
Okay. I'll dig a little deeper.
910
01:01:05,996 --> 01:01:07,913
Wow, this bag is really full.
911
01:01:09,458 --> 01:01:11,208
AUSTlN:
Just keep digging, darling.
912
01:01:11,376 --> 01:01:13,753
FELlClTY:
l'll just feel around for them.
913
01:01:16,923 --> 01:01:20,051
Good Lord, Austin. What sort of things
do you keep in here?
914
01:01:20,218 --> 01:01:23,596
AUSTlN: Anything that catches my fancy.
MAN: My God.
915
01:01:23,764 --> 01:01:24,764
AUSTlN:
Give it a good tug.
916
01:01:26,975 --> 01:01:28,434
FELlClTY:
Oh. Do we realIy need this?
917
01:01:28,602 --> 01:01:31,687
l'll ask you not to open that inside,
thank you very much, okay?
918
01:01:31,855 --> 01:01:33,773
Oh, my God.
919
01:01:34,691 --> 01:01:36,776
FELlClTY: Oops. lt went off.
-Yes.
920
01:01:36,943 --> 01:01:38,611
lt does that from time to time.
921
01:01:38,779 --> 01:01:40,071
FELlClTY:
Ugh! Yuck.
922
01:01:40,238 --> 01:01:41,280
Yeah, that's nasty.
923
01:01:41,448 --> 01:01:42,448
[FELlClTY COUGHlNG]
924
01:01:42,616 --> 01:01:44,617
Yeah, sorry about that.
925
01:01:45,452 --> 01:01:46,452
FELlClTY:
Smelly.
926
01:01:46,620 --> 01:01:48,996
These peopIe make me sick.
927
01:01:49,164 --> 01:01:51,123
AUSTlN:
Can you snap me a beer?
928
01:01:54,628 --> 01:01:56,253
FELlClTY: Ah!
AUSTlN: What is it?
929
01:01:56,421 --> 01:01:59,215
FELlClTY: lt's a gerbil.
How did that get in your bag?
930
01:02:01,802 --> 01:02:03,969
l don't know.
931
01:02:06,223 --> 01:02:07,973
Dr. Evil.
932
01:02:08,683 --> 01:02:11,435
We have a problem.
Austin Powers is on the island.
933
01:02:11,603 --> 01:02:13,354
Bring him to me...
934
01:02:13,772 --> 01:02:15,272
...alive.
935
01:02:16,525 --> 01:02:17,566
You.
936
01:02:17,734 --> 01:02:21,779
Hit it!
This is a very sensitive subject.
937
01:02:21,947 --> 01:02:26,158
["JUST THE TWO OF US (DR. EVlL MlX)"
PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]
938
01:02:34,501 --> 01:02:36,168
Yeah.
939
01:02:38,588 --> 01:02:41,132
[SINGlNG] From the moment I heard Frau
Say I had a clone
940
01:02:41,299 --> 01:02:43,717
I knew that I'd be safe
'Cause I'd never be alone
941
01:02:43,885 --> 01:02:46,429
An evil doctor shouldn't speak
Aloud about his feelings
942
01:02:46,596 --> 01:02:48,764
My hurt and my pain
Don't make me too appealing
943
01:02:48,932 --> 01:02:51,350
I'd hoped Scott would look up to me
944
01:02:51,518 --> 01:02:54,103
Run the business of the family
945
01:02:54,271 --> 01:02:56,480
Head an evil empire
Just like his dear old dad
946
01:02:56,648 --> 01:02:58,858
Give him my love
And the things I never had
947
01:02:59,025 --> 01:03:01,444
Scott would think I was a cool guy
948
01:03:01,611 --> 01:03:03,946
Return the love I have
Make me want to cry
949
01:03:04,114 --> 01:03:06,824
Be evil but have my feelings too
950
01:03:06,992 --> 01:03:09,118
Change my life with Oprah
And Maya Angelou
951
01:03:09,286 --> 01:03:11,912
But Scott rejected me
C'est la vie
952
01:03:12,080 --> 01:03:14,165
Life is cruel
Treat you unfairly
953
01:03:14,332 --> 01:03:16,709
Even so
A God there must be
954
01:03:17,127 --> 01:03:19,170
Mini-Me, you complete me
955
01:03:22,716 --> 01:03:24,425
Yeah
956
01:03:26,136 --> 01:03:28,095
Just me and you
957
01:03:36,897 --> 01:03:38,189
You and I
958
01:03:50,702 --> 01:03:52,536
FELlClTY:
You've got this packed really tight.
959
01:03:53,622 --> 01:03:54,663
Are you okay?
960
01:03:54,831 --> 01:03:57,458
Yeah, I just got a bit of a back cramp,
that's all.
961
01:03:58,460 --> 01:04:00,419
Just keep packing it in.
962
01:04:00,587 --> 01:04:02,213
God.
963
01:04:02,380 --> 01:04:05,174
l found the explosives.
Help me check them.
964
01:04:05,342 --> 01:04:07,092
You're surrounded!
Drop your weapons!
965
01:04:08,136 --> 01:04:09,178
Hands up!
966
01:04:10,805 --> 01:04:12,515
Move out!
967
01:04:15,810 --> 01:04:18,062
DR. EVlL: Ladies and gentlemen,
in just a few moments...
968
01:04:18,230 --> 01:04:21,440
...we're gonna place a giant "laser"
on the moon.
969
01:04:21,608 --> 01:04:26,612
From my "death star,"
l will destroy every city on the planet.
970
01:04:26,780 --> 01:04:27,947
Get out of it!
971
01:04:28,114 --> 01:04:29,365
Ah.
972
01:04:29,533 --> 01:04:34,870
Mr. Powers, Ms. Shagwell,
welcome to my hollowed-out volcano.
973
01:04:35,038 --> 01:04:37,331
This is my associate, Fat Bastard.
974
01:04:37,499 --> 01:04:43,128
Felicity, I think you two may
have already "met."
975
01:04:43,296 --> 01:04:44,547
Unfortunately.
976
01:04:44,714 --> 01:04:48,551
Oh, is that all the thanks I get
for the night of hot sex?
977
01:04:49,135 --> 01:04:51,929
l'm dead sexy.
978
01:04:52,097 --> 01:04:53,305
You were crap.
979
01:04:53,473 --> 01:04:54,640
[AUSTlN LAUGHlNG]
980
01:04:54,808 --> 01:04:57,643
Yes. ln your dreams.
981
01:05:02,732 --> 01:05:05,234
Felicity would never sIeep with you.
982
01:05:06,653 --> 01:05:07,987
Right?
983
01:05:08,446 --> 01:05:11,740
l did what I had to do. l'm a secret agent.
984
01:05:11,908 --> 01:05:13,492
What?
985
01:05:14,411 --> 01:05:18,247
Aw. Boo-hoo.
986
01:05:18,415 --> 01:05:19,832
[FAT BASTARD LAUGHS]
987
01:05:20,000 --> 01:05:22,418
AIl right, that's enough, Fat Bastard.
988
01:05:22,586 --> 01:05:26,297
As much as I like seeing Powers
in agony, and I do...
989
01:05:26,464 --> 01:05:29,341
...the thought of you naked is just gross.
990
01:05:29,843 --> 01:05:32,344
You can't stop me now, Mr. Powers.
991
01:05:32,846 --> 01:05:34,597
l have your mojo.
992
01:05:34,764 --> 01:05:37,683
-My mojo....
-And l'm taking it with me to the moon.
993
01:05:37,851 --> 01:05:40,477
Put them in the jail cell!
994
01:05:40,854 --> 01:05:44,773
My mojo!
l'll get you, Dr. Evil, I'll get you!
995
01:05:44,941 --> 01:05:47,526
Oh, look at me,
l'm shaking in my Iittle space boots.
996
01:05:47,694 --> 01:05:49,528
l want my mojo!
997
01:05:49,696 --> 01:05:53,032
-Give back my mojo! I'll get you, Dr. Evil.
-Great plan, Einstein.
998
01:05:53,199 --> 01:05:56,785
Well, you're gonna put them in a cell
with one inept guard and they'll escape.
999
01:05:56,953 --> 01:05:59,288
God, you do this every time.
1000
01:06:00,790 --> 01:06:02,916
You know, Scott...
1001
01:06:03,084 --> 01:06:05,044
...l've been a fricking evil doctor...
1002
01:06:05,211 --> 01:06:08,922
...for 30 fricking years, okay?
1003
01:06:09,090 --> 01:06:11,675
Cut me some fricking slack.
1004
01:06:12,260 --> 01:06:14,011
You forget, Scott.
1005
01:06:14,179 --> 01:06:16,180
We're in a volcano.
1006
01:06:16,348 --> 01:06:19,475
We're surrounded by Iiquid-hot magma.
1007
01:06:21,770 --> 01:06:23,062
What are you drawing?
1008
01:06:25,231 --> 01:06:28,108
lt's just a goodbye card, that's alI.
1009
01:06:29,069 --> 01:06:30,944
lt's sweet.
1010
01:06:38,912 --> 01:06:40,746
DR. EVlL: Hey, back off.
-Get him! Get the baby!
1011
01:06:40,914 --> 01:06:43,207
-Back off!
NUMBER TWO: Simmer down. Simmer down.
1012
01:06:43,375 --> 01:06:45,084
FAT BASTARD:
Get in there! Gnaw on him!
1013
01:06:45,251 --> 01:06:47,086
He's my posse.
1014
01:06:47,671 --> 01:06:48,712
Okay.
1015
01:06:48,880 --> 01:06:51,423
You take speciaI care of him.
1016
01:06:51,591 --> 01:06:53,676
He's my special boy.
1017
01:06:53,843 --> 01:06:55,260
MAN [OVER SPEAKERS]:
Attention.
1018
01:06:55,428 --> 01:06:56,929
Prepare for launch.
1019
01:06:57,097 --> 01:06:58,597
[HORN HONKlNG]
1020
01:06:58,765 --> 01:07:03,102
Repeat, all technicians
to launch positions.
1021
01:07:03,269 --> 01:07:04,937
Gentlemen...
1022
01:07:05,105 --> 01:07:07,731
...l'm about to go to the moon.
1023
01:07:07,899 --> 01:07:11,318
Initiate prelaunch sequence.
1024
01:07:11,486 --> 01:07:14,113
Main rocket engine ignition--
1025
01:07:14,280 --> 01:07:17,116
Frau. Begin the countdown.
1026
01:07:17,283 --> 01:07:19,076
Five! Four!
1027
01:07:19,244 --> 01:07:21,036
-Three! Two--
-Frau.
1028
01:07:21,204 --> 01:07:22,955
Begin the countdown at 30.
1029
01:07:24,833 --> 01:07:25,874
Thirty!
1030
01:07:26,042 --> 01:07:30,421
Twenty-nine, 28, 27...
1031
01:07:30,588 --> 01:07:32,756
...twenty-six, 25...
1032
01:07:33,383 --> 01:07:36,260
...twenty-four, 23...
1033
01:07:36,428 --> 01:07:39,596
...twenty-two, 21...
1034
01:07:39,764 --> 01:07:41,974
...twenty, 19...
1035
01:07:42,142 --> 01:07:43,559
...eighteen...
1036
01:07:43,727 --> 01:07:46,937
...seventeen, 16...
1037
01:07:47,105 --> 01:07:50,441
...fifteen, 14, 13--
1038
01:07:50,608 --> 01:07:55,654
You know what?
When the doors close, just say "go." Better.
1039
01:08:00,326 --> 01:08:02,119
Go!
1040
01:08:31,900 --> 01:08:34,026
Colonel, you better take a look
at this radar.
1041
01:08:35,737 --> 01:08:37,362
What is it, son?
1042
01:08:37,530 --> 01:08:40,115
l don't know, sir,
but it looks like a giant--
1043
01:08:40,283 --> 01:08:41,617
-Dick.
MAN: Yeah?
1044
01:08:41,785 --> 01:08:43,118
Take a look out of starboard.
1045
01:08:43,286 --> 01:08:46,538
Oh, my God! lt Iooks Iike a huge--
1046
01:08:46,706 --> 01:08:48,457
-Pecker!
-Where?
1047
01:08:48,625 --> 01:08:51,293
Wait, that's not a woodpecker.
lt looks like someone's--
1048
01:08:51,461 --> 01:08:52,544
Privates!
1049
01:08:52,712 --> 01:08:55,631
We have reports
of an unidentified flying object!
1050
01:08:55,799 --> 01:08:59,218
lt is a long, smooth shaft,
complete with--
1051
01:08:59,385 --> 01:09:00,552
Two balls!
1052
01:09:00,720 --> 01:09:02,221
What is that?
1053
01:09:02,388 --> 01:09:04,014
That looks just like an enormous--
1054
01:09:04,182 --> 01:09:05,516
Wang! Pay attention.
1055
01:09:06,017 --> 01:09:08,644
l was distracted by that enormous fIying--
1056
01:09:08,812 --> 01:09:10,020
-Willie.
-Yeah?
1057
01:09:10,188 --> 01:09:11,772
What's that?
1058
01:09:12,607 --> 01:09:14,066
Well, it looks like a giant--
1059
01:09:14,234 --> 01:09:15,567
-Johnson.
-Yes, sir.
1060
01:09:15,735 --> 01:09:19,112
Get on the horn to British intelligence
and let them know about this.
1061
01:09:35,421 --> 01:09:36,922
What do we do?
1062
01:09:37,090 --> 01:09:39,716
Why don't you just shag
Fat Bastard again?
1063
01:09:39,884 --> 01:09:41,760
Austin, this is no time to get jealous.
1064
01:09:41,928 --> 01:09:44,763
-Well, how could you do it?
-l was just doing my job.
1065
01:09:44,931 --> 01:09:47,099
No, I mean literally. How could you do it?
1066
01:09:47,267 --> 01:09:50,227
The man's so fat, the sheer mechanics
of it are mind-boggling.
1067
01:09:50,395 --> 01:09:54,022
Look, don't try to lay your hang-ups on me
just because you lost your mojo.
1068
01:09:54,774 --> 01:09:56,692
Ouch, baby.
1069
01:09:56,860 --> 01:09:58,944
Very ouch.
1070
01:09:59,112 --> 01:10:01,405
Look, Austin, we're running out of time.
1071
01:10:01,948 --> 01:10:03,031
l'm sorry.
1072
01:10:04,617 --> 01:10:07,411
l just did what I thought you would do
in the same situation.
1073
01:10:08,788 --> 01:10:10,956
You're the reason that I became a spy.
1074
01:10:12,208 --> 01:10:14,793
l thought that I wanted to be you...
1075
01:10:14,961 --> 01:10:17,170
...but then I realized...
1076
01:10:18,089 --> 01:10:20,132
...that I wanna be with you.
1077
01:10:20,550 --> 01:10:22,092
You do?
1078
01:10:22,468 --> 01:10:24,094
Yeah.
1079
01:10:24,721 --> 01:10:25,804
Hang on, baby.
1080
01:10:25,972 --> 01:10:27,598
AIly-oop!
1081
01:10:27,765 --> 01:10:28,932
[PHONE RlNGS]
1082
01:10:29,100 --> 01:10:30,976
Look, maybe we
should talk about this later.
1083
01:10:31,144 --> 01:10:33,020
We need to get past that inept guard.
1084
01:10:33,187 --> 01:10:34,313
Right. Here's the pIan.
1085
01:10:34,480 --> 01:10:36,982
l pretend to be desperateIy ill
with food poisoning.
1086
01:10:37,150 --> 01:10:40,277
The guard, drawn by my cries of pain,
comes to investigate.
1087
01:10:40,445 --> 01:10:41,945
Meanwhile, you dig a pit...
1088
01:10:42,113 --> 01:10:45,198
...line it with punji sticks
made from sharpened toothbrushes.
1089
01:10:45,366 --> 01:10:48,911
The guard falls in, Bob's your uncle,
we escape. What do you think?
1090
01:10:49,078 --> 01:10:51,872
That might work, but what about this?
1091
01:10:53,082 --> 01:10:56,418
-What do you think of these, my man?
-Mommy!
1092
01:10:56,586 --> 01:10:58,253
[SCREAMS]
1093
01:10:58,796 --> 01:11:00,589
[FELlClTY & AUSTlN GROANlNG]
1094
01:11:02,759 --> 01:11:05,427
What a burn.
1095
01:11:07,305 --> 01:11:10,098
That sort of thing could get a man...
1096
01:11:10,266 --> 01:11:12,017
...fired.
1097
01:11:13,353 --> 01:11:15,896
l think he was hot...
1098
01:11:16,064 --> 01:11:18,440
...for you.
1099
01:11:18,608 --> 01:11:20,859
-That's enough.
-Yeah.
1100
01:11:26,324 --> 01:11:28,033
DR. EVlL:
Ladies and gentlemen...
1101
01:11:28,201 --> 01:11:30,786
...welcome to my moon base.
1102
01:11:31,663 --> 01:11:35,958
You've all been chosen
to be part of my elite moon unit...
1103
01:11:36,125 --> 01:11:38,627
...which is divided into two divisions:
1104
01:11:38,795 --> 01:11:43,048
Moon Unit Alpha and Moon Unit Zappa.
1105
01:11:43,216 --> 01:11:48,011
ln exactly six hours, the moon
will move in its orbit around the Earth...
1106
01:11:48,179 --> 01:11:50,722
...bringing Washington, D.C...
1107
01:11:50,890 --> 01:11:54,393
...within range of my giant "laser."
1108
01:11:54,560 --> 01:11:58,730
Begin "laser" ignition sequence.
1109
01:11:58,898 --> 01:12:01,233
Begin laser ignition!
1110
01:12:02,777 --> 01:12:07,072
MAN [OVER SPEAKERS]: Attention.
Moon Unit Zappa to firing stations.
1111
01:12:07,407 --> 01:12:09,950
Initiation sequence in progress.
1112
01:12:10,118 --> 01:12:11,827
Okay. All right.
1113
01:12:11,995 --> 01:12:14,579
Gravity boost to EMS.
Steady at full power.
1114
01:12:14,747 --> 01:12:18,166
AIl I asked for
was a fricking rotating chair, okay?
1115
01:12:18,334 --> 01:12:19,793
Oh, okay.
1116
01:12:19,961 --> 01:12:24,256
Okay, okay. Getting a little afraid.
1117
01:12:24,424 --> 01:12:27,592
l need an old priest and a young priest.
1118
01:12:27,760 --> 01:12:30,595
The power of Christ compels you!
1119
01:12:30,763 --> 01:12:35,225
The power of Christ compels you!
Whoa, hello.
1120
01:12:35,393 --> 01:12:40,772
Okay. Sick as a dog now.
1121
01:12:40,940 --> 01:12:44,276
-Okay. Okay.
FARBlSSlNA: Get him a bucket.
1122
01:12:44,444 --> 01:12:46,111
Gonna vom.
1123
01:12:54,078 --> 01:12:57,456
AUSTlN: We need to hitch a ride
to the moon, baby.
1124
01:12:57,874 --> 01:13:02,085
MAN 1: Apollo 11 is good to go.
Crew to all stations.
1125
01:13:03,963 --> 01:13:08,300
MAN 2: We will have liftoff
in T-minus five seconds. Four...
1126
01:13:08,468 --> 01:13:10,385
...three...two....
1127
01:13:12,013 --> 01:13:13,638
We have liftoff!
1128
01:13:13,806 --> 01:13:16,391
Apollo 11 has cleared the tower
and is heading for...
1129
01:13:16,559 --> 01:13:18,018
...a rendezvous with the moon.
1130
01:13:18,186 --> 01:13:19,770
[AUSTlN SCREAMlNG]
1131
01:13:19,937 --> 01:13:21,563
[FELlClTY LAUGHlNG]
1132
01:13:27,195 --> 01:13:29,946
Arm the "laser."
1133
01:13:30,448 --> 01:13:32,157
Arming the Iaser!
1134
01:13:32,325 --> 01:13:35,118
MAN:
Attention, arming the death star.
1135
01:13:35,286 --> 01:13:37,788
-Battle stations.
FARBlSSlNA: Laser armed!
1136
01:13:37,955 --> 01:13:40,916
All crew prepare for ready battle stations.
1137
01:13:41,084 --> 01:13:43,001
Get me the president.
1138
01:13:43,920 --> 01:13:46,171
You're gonna like this part, Mini-Me.
1139
01:13:46,339 --> 01:13:48,840
This is the part
where we threaten the world leader.
1140
01:13:49,008 --> 01:13:51,802
l know we do it every time.
However, it is important to--
1141
01:13:51,969 --> 01:13:54,137
[MlNl-ME SCREAMS]
1142
01:13:54,305 --> 01:13:55,514
[THUDS]
1143
01:13:55,681 --> 01:13:57,432
Mini-Me?
1144
01:13:58,267 --> 01:14:01,019
Mini-Me, where are you?
1145
01:14:01,187 --> 01:14:04,981
Can someone put a fricking beIl on him
or something?
1146
01:14:05,149 --> 01:14:06,691
[MlNl-ME SQUEALlNG]
1147
01:14:06,859 --> 01:14:07,859
Great.
1148
01:14:08,027 --> 01:14:10,195
Somebody get the stick.
1149
01:14:11,739 --> 01:14:14,282
Just grab on to the hook, all right?
1150
01:14:14,450 --> 01:14:16,535
You complete me.
1151
01:14:16,702 --> 01:14:18,537
l love you.
1152
01:14:19,372 --> 01:14:20,705
Hang in there, Mini-Me.
1153
01:14:20,873 --> 01:14:25,168
lf anything shouId happen to you,
l don't know what I would do.
1154
01:14:25,336 --> 01:14:28,046
l'd probably move on
and get another replica...
1155
01:14:28,214 --> 01:14:32,384
...but there'd be a 10-minute period there
when I would just be inconsoIable.
1156
01:14:32,844 --> 01:14:34,970
We have your money, but it wasn't easy.
1157
01:14:35,138 --> 01:14:37,514
Papa has to do some work, okay?
1158
01:14:37,682 --> 01:14:40,809
Well, you have exactly 30 minutes
to get it to me.
1159
01:14:40,977 --> 01:14:42,435
[SPEAKS lN lTALlAN]
1160
01:14:42,603 --> 01:14:44,729
[CACKLES]
1161
01:14:44,897 --> 01:14:46,189
Jiminy German Jesus!
1162
01:14:46,357 --> 01:14:49,067
l can't believe
we're gonna pay that madman.
1163
01:14:49,235 --> 01:14:52,571
l got nukes out the yin-yang.
Just let me launch one, for chrissake!
1164
01:14:52,738 --> 01:14:57,659
Sir! Are you suggesting
that we blow up the moon?
1165
01:14:57,827 --> 01:15:00,662
Would you miss it?
1166
01:15:04,917 --> 01:15:06,084
AUSTlN:
Mission control...
1167
01:15:06,252 --> 01:15:09,588
...the swinger has landed, yeah.
1168
01:15:10,840 --> 01:15:13,091
COMPUTERlZED VOlCE:
Airlock open.
1169
01:15:16,721 --> 01:15:17,929
Repressurize.
1170
01:15:18,097 --> 01:15:19,848
-Let's find Dr. Evil.
-Yeah.
1171
01:15:20,016 --> 01:15:22,934
Enjoy your stay on the moon.
1172
01:15:23,227 --> 01:15:24,269
Hello, helIo.
1173
01:15:25,771 --> 01:15:27,439
There he is.
1174
01:15:29,942 --> 01:15:33,570
-l'll cover your rear.
-No, you go ahead.
1175
01:15:33,821 --> 01:15:36,114
This time, it's personal.
1176
01:15:49,420 --> 01:15:50,921
[YELLS]
1177
01:15:53,090 --> 01:15:54,883
[AUSTlN GRUNTlNG]
1178
01:16:41,514 --> 01:16:45,141
No more! I can't take it anymore!
1179
01:16:45,768 --> 01:16:46,851
Peace?
1180
01:16:47,853 --> 01:16:51,940
You brought my gIasses.
BIess your little heart.
1181
01:16:53,192 --> 01:16:55,110
That's not right, that's--
1182
01:16:56,112 --> 01:16:59,948
Oh, don't, that's just-- Now l'm pissed!
1183
01:17:00,116 --> 01:17:01,366
Judo flip!
1184
01:17:10,167 --> 01:17:12,043
Poor little bugger.
1185
01:17:12,211 --> 01:17:13,878
He's so small.
1186
01:17:14,046 --> 01:17:16,715
He's like a dog or something.
1187
01:17:17,216 --> 01:17:19,467
Poor little bugger.
1188
01:17:21,304 --> 01:17:22,721
[YELLlNG]
1189
01:17:22,888 --> 01:17:24,306
[YELLS]
1190
01:17:26,684 --> 01:17:29,519
Get off! Off!
1191
01:17:40,197 --> 01:17:41,740
Okay.
1192
01:17:44,076 --> 01:17:46,745
Oh! Oh! Get out of my suit!
1193
01:17:48,080 --> 01:17:50,790
lt tickles. Oh, it tickles. No.
1194
01:17:55,379 --> 01:17:56,588
Gotcha.
1195
01:18:19,320 --> 01:18:21,821
[MlNl-ME YELLlNG]
1196
01:18:24,575 --> 01:18:25,950
Poor little bugger.
1197
01:18:26,786 --> 01:18:28,536
l salute you.
1198
01:18:38,172 --> 01:18:39,631
AIl right, slap-head.
1199
01:18:39,799 --> 01:18:41,466
Turn around.
1200
01:18:41,634 --> 01:18:44,302
Where's my mojo?
1201
01:18:44,470 --> 01:18:47,597
Well, it looks like you have a choice,
Mr. Powers:
1202
01:18:47,765 --> 01:18:49,432
Save the world...
1203
01:18:49,934 --> 01:18:51,768
...or save your girlfriend.
1204
01:18:51,936 --> 01:18:54,604
-Austin!
-Felicity!
1205
01:18:54,772 --> 01:18:56,481
FELlClTY:
Don't worry about me, Austin!
1206
01:18:56,649 --> 01:18:58,149
You've gotta save the world!
1207
01:18:58,317 --> 01:18:59,317
[FELlClTY COUGHlNG]
1208
01:18:59,485 --> 01:19:01,111
KilI him!
1209
01:19:03,739 --> 01:19:04,989
Fire the "laser"!
1210
01:19:05,157 --> 01:19:06,157
MAN:
Target locking.
1211
01:19:06,325 --> 01:19:07,951
[GUN CLlCKS EMPTY]
1212
01:19:08,244 --> 01:19:10,995
Laser set to full fatality.
1213
01:19:11,747 --> 01:19:13,498
Judo kick!
1214
01:19:16,001 --> 01:19:18,294
Target missed.
Mojo in trouble now.
1215
01:19:18,504 --> 01:19:22,674
You may have won the battle, Mr. Powers,
but you lost the war.
1216
01:19:22,842 --> 01:19:25,927
No! No, no!
1217
01:19:26,095 --> 01:19:29,264
Felicity! Wake up, Felicity, wake up!
1218
01:19:31,058 --> 01:19:33,017
[BEEPlNG]
1219
01:19:34,979 --> 01:19:37,147
l love you, Felicity.
1220
01:19:37,314 --> 01:19:38,356
l love you.
1221
01:19:39,483 --> 01:19:41,609
Dr. Evil! I'll kill him!
1222
01:19:46,490 --> 01:19:48,283
Gotcha!
1223
01:19:52,663 --> 01:19:53,663
[CLlCKS SWlTCH]
1224
01:19:53,831 --> 01:19:58,376
Ow! You shot me, you A-hoIe.
1225
01:19:58,544 --> 01:20:01,713
And now l'm going to kill you.
1226
01:20:01,881 --> 01:20:02,881
[CLlCKS SWlTCH]
1227
01:20:03,048 --> 01:20:05,216
Before you do that...
1228
01:20:07,219 --> 01:20:09,471
...know this:
1229
01:20:11,015 --> 01:20:12,974
Austin...
1230
01:20:16,937 --> 01:20:19,898
...l am your father.
1231
01:20:21,317 --> 01:20:23,067
RealIy?
1232
01:20:24,361 --> 01:20:27,489
No, not really. I can't back that up.
1233
01:20:28,157 --> 01:20:30,742
Right. ldiot. Yes.
1234
01:20:30,910 --> 01:20:35,788
But isn't it interesting, Mr. Powers,
that you would rather kill me...
1235
01:20:35,956 --> 01:20:38,833
...than save your precious FeIicity?
1236
01:20:39,001 --> 01:20:40,585
What do you mean?
1237
01:20:40,753 --> 01:20:45,256
Remember, there's a time portal
in the main chamber.
1238
01:20:45,424 --> 01:20:48,092
You could go back and save her.
1239
01:20:48,260 --> 01:20:49,761
l'll do that.
1240
01:20:49,929 --> 01:20:51,554
[CACKLlNG]
1241
01:20:54,600 --> 01:20:56,351
Felicity!
1242
01:20:57,186 --> 01:20:58,269
[FAlNTLY]
Good work.
1243
01:21:00,272 --> 01:21:02,232
Good work!
1244
01:21:03,609 --> 01:21:04,609
[CLlCKS SWlTCH]
1245
01:21:04,777 --> 01:21:05,902
[LOUDLY]
Good work!
1246
01:21:06,070 --> 01:21:07,070
[FEEDBACK SQUEALS]
1247
01:21:07,404 --> 01:21:09,531
[MAN SPEAKlNG lNDlSTlNCTLY
OVER SPEAKERS]
1248
01:21:22,211 --> 01:21:25,171
Well, it looks like you have a choice,
Mr. Powers:
1249
01:21:25,339 --> 01:21:27,048
Save the world...
1250
01:21:27,216 --> 01:21:28,883
...or save your girlfriend.
1251
01:21:29,051 --> 01:21:30,802
-Austin!
-Felicity!
1252
01:21:30,970 --> 01:21:33,972
Don't worry about me, Austin!
You've gotta save the world!
1253
01:21:34,139 --> 01:21:35,974
[FELlClTY COUGHlNG]
1254
01:21:36,141 --> 01:21:38,142
l choose love, baby!
1255
01:21:38,310 --> 01:21:39,769
AUSTlN 1:
Wait a tick.
1256
01:21:39,937 --> 01:21:43,398
-Who are you?
-l'm you, ten minutes from now.
1257
01:21:43,732 --> 01:21:45,692
Damn it, you are handsome.
1258
01:21:45,859 --> 01:21:47,068
[CHUCKLlNG]
1259
01:21:47,236 --> 01:21:48,653
l was just thinking the same.
1260
01:21:50,489 --> 01:21:52,490
We are sexy.
1261
01:21:52,658 --> 01:21:55,577
We are sexy bitches, yeah.
1262
01:21:55,744 --> 01:21:59,747
AIl right, this is ri-goddamn-dicuIous.
KilI them both!
1263
01:22:03,502 --> 01:22:05,169
[MOUTHS]
Fire the "laser."
1264
01:22:05,337 --> 01:22:06,379
[MOUTHS]
Thank you.
1265
01:22:06,547 --> 01:22:08,673
Fire the "laser"!
1266
01:22:08,841 --> 01:22:10,174
AUSTlN 2:
Listen, Past Austin.
1267
01:22:10,342 --> 01:22:12,677
Can you save the world
while I go get the girl?
1268
01:22:12,845 --> 01:22:15,179
Sure, Austin-From-10-Minutes-From-Now.
1269
01:22:15,347 --> 01:22:17,307
MAN [OVER SPEAKERS]:
Target locking.
1270
01:22:18,058 --> 01:22:21,102
Laser set to full fatality.
1271
01:22:25,190 --> 01:22:26,608
MAN:
Ah! Target missed.
1272
01:22:26,775 --> 01:22:29,819
AUSTlN 2: Come on, come on.
You're all right. Yeah, come on.
1273
01:22:30,362 --> 01:22:32,864
-You all right? Are you okay?
-Yeah.
1274
01:22:35,075 --> 01:22:39,329
Say, what's the policy on ménage à trois?
1275
01:22:39,705 --> 01:22:41,998
You are adorable.
1276
01:22:42,750 --> 01:22:43,791
Yes.
1277
01:22:44,627 --> 01:22:47,045
Looking for this, Mr. Powers?
1278
01:22:47,963 --> 01:22:50,048
My mojo.
1279
01:22:50,549 --> 01:22:54,510
COMPUTERlZED VOlCE:
Self-destruct in two minutes and counting.
1280
01:22:58,349 --> 01:23:00,892
-No!
-No!
1281
01:23:03,687 --> 01:23:04,729
Watch out!
1282
01:23:15,240 --> 01:23:17,533
See you in hell, Powers!
1283
01:23:17,701 --> 01:23:19,369
[CACKLES]
1284
01:23:19,536 --> 01:23:21,245
No, my--
1285
01:23:21,413 --> 01:23:23,790
Okay,
Austin-From-10-Minutes-From-Now.
1286
01:23:23,957 --> 01:23:27,043
This place is gonna blow!
Let's go! Come on!
1287
01:23:31,256 --> 01:23:34,509
COMPUTERlZED VOlCE:
Self-destruct in 30 seconds and counting.
1288
01:23:34,677 --> 01:23:36,886
-Twenty-nine.
-No!
1289
01:23:37,054 --> 01:23:38,930
-Let's go!
-No! My mojo!
1290
01:23:39,098 --> 01:23:42,016
-We have to go now!
-My mojo! l'm useless without it!
1291
01:23:42,184 --> 01:23:45,103
-You don't need it, you've had it alI aIong.
-What do you mean?
1292
01:23:45,270 --> 01:23:49,691
You defeated Dr. Evil, saved the world,
and, believe me, you're gonna get the girl.
1293
01:23:50,401 --> 01:23:51,526
Well.
1294
01:23:52,736 --> 01:23:54,278
[BOTH YELL]
1295
01:23:54,446 --> 01:23:57,115
Yeah. All right, then. Maybe later.
Yeah, come on.
1296
01:24:00,703 --> 01:24:01,869
Go!
1297
01:24:02,788 --> 01:24:04,956
l'll set the controIs for 1967.
1298
01:24:06,250 --> 01:24:09,460
Felicity, why don't you come with me
to 1999?
1299
01:24:09,628 --> 01:24:11,921
Well, I don't know.
The '60s were just so groovy.
1300
01:24:12,089 --> 01:24:14,549
l wanna to see what happens
in the '70s and '80s.
1301
01:24:14,717 --> 01:24:16,426
The '70s and the '80s?
1302
01:24:16,593 --> 01:24:19,011
You're not missing anything.
l looked into it.
1303
01:24:19,179 --> 01:24:24,267
There's a gas shortage
and A Flock of Seagulls. That's about it.
1304
01:24:27,062 --> 01:24:28,146
Let's go!
1305
01:24:49,918 --> 01:24:51,294
l love you, Austin Powers.
1306
01:24:51,462 --> 01:24:53,963
And I love you, Felicity Shagwell.
1307
01:24:54,590 --> 01:24:56,174
Wherever we go....
1308
01:24:56,341 --> 01:24:58,134
There we are.
1309
01:24:59,595 --> 01:25:00,803
[KNOCKlNG ON DOOR]
1310
01:25:00,971 --> 01:25:02,555
MAN:
Special delivery.
1311
01:25:04,224 --> 01:25:07,685
Ah! Surprise, surprise!
1312
01:25:09,646 --> 01:25:10,855
Listen, missy.
1313
01:25:11,482 --> 01:25:13,733
Do you fancy another go?
1314
01:25:13,901 --> 01:25:18,112
Because once you've had fat,
you never go back.
1315
01:25:18,280 --> 01:25:21,741
You shut your mouth, you bastard...
1316
01:25:23,076 --> 01:25:24,452
...who is fat.
1317
01:25:24,620 --> 01:25:25,703
That's right, yeah.
1318
01:25:25,871 --> 01:25:29,457
Before you kill us,
let me ask you one question:
1319
01:25:29,625 --> 01:25:33,336
-Are you happy?
-What kind of stupid-ass question is that?
1320
01:25:33,504 --> 01:25:37,173
l'm rich and l'm dead sexy!
1321
01:25:37,341 --> 01:25:39,133
[CHUCKLlNG]
1322
01:25:39,301 --> 01:25:41,135
Yeah.
1323
01:25:44,681 --> 01:25:47,892
Well, you didn't answer my question.
Are you happy?
1324
01:25:48,310 --> 01:25:50,228
Of course l'm not happy.
1325
01:25:50,395 --> 01:25:53,105
Look at me. l'm a big, fat slob.
1326
01:25:53,273 --> 01:25:55,650
l've got bigger titties than you do.
1327
01:25:55,818 --> 01:25:59,737
l've got more chins
than a Chinese phone book!
1328
01:25:59,905 --> 01:26:02,073
l've not seen my willy in two years...
1329
01:26:02,241 --> 01:26:06,577
...which is long enough
to declare it legaIly dead!
1330
01:26:08,413 --> 01:26:11,749
l can't stop eating.
1331
01:26:12,417 --> 01:26:14,502
l eat because l'm unhappy.
1332
01:26:17,923 --> 01:26:20,925
And l'm unhappy because I eat.
1333
01:26:21,093 --> 01:26:23,177
lt's a vicious cycle.
1334
01:26:23,762 --> 01:26:25,763
lf you'll excuse me...
1335
01:26:25,931 --> 01:26:29,600
...there's someone I have
to get in touch with and forgive.
1336
01:26:30,853 --> 01:26:32,728
MyseIf.
1337
01:26:34,606 --> 01:26:36,732
[FARTS]
1338
01:26:36,900 --> 01:26:38,734
Oh, God.
1339
01:26:39,444 --> 01:26:41,779
Sorry. I farted.
1340
01:26:43,699 --> 01:26:45,950
lt's a long road ahead.
1341
01:26:48,203 --> 01:26:49,787
Oh, who am I kidding?
1342
01:26:49,955 --> 01:26:51,789
l'm gonna kill you anyway.
1343
01:26:51,957 --> 01:26:53,124
Judo chop!
1344
01:26:53,292 --> 01:26:54,458
[GROANS]
1345
01:26:54,626 --> 01:26:58,129
Right in the mommy-daddy button!
1346
01:26:58,297 --> 01:27:00,798
That's for caIling me crap, you fatty.
1347
01:27:01,258 --> 01:27:03,301
[YELLlNG]
1348
01:27:10,976 --> 01:27:13,436
Listen, baby,
l don't care if he is a fat bastard.
1349
01:27:13,604 --> 01:27:18,107
You don't give a man a shot in the pills.
lt's just not cricket.
1350
01:27:19,109 --> 01:27:21,110
Do you think I'll be happy
here in the '90s?
1351
01:27:21,278 --> 01:27:24,572
Well, I know the '90s
might sound boring...
1352
01:27:24,740 --> 01:27:26,866
...but as far as l'm concerned...
1353
01:27:27,034 --> 01:27:30,870
...l've brought the best part of the '60s
back with me:
1354
01:27:31,705 --> 01:27:32,830
You.
1355
01:27:33,790 --> 01:27:36,000
-Wait a minute.
-Where are you going?
1356
01:27:39,671 --> 01:27:42,632
[THE BANGLES' "GET THE GlRL"
PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]
1357
01:28:22,631 --> 01:28:24,382
Did we get Dr. Evil?
1358
01:28:24,549 --> 01:28:27,301
No, sir. He got away in that rocket
that looks like a huge--
1359
01:28:27,469 --> 01:28:31,097
Penis. The male reproductive organ.
1360
01:28:31,264 --> 01:28:34,392
AIso known as tallywhacker, schlong or--
1361
01:28:34,559 --> 01:28:35,685
Wiener?
1362
01:28:35,852 --> 01:28:37,770
Any of you kids want another wiener?
1363
01:28:37,938 --> 01:28:39,897
Dad, what's that?
1364
01:28:40,065 --> 01:28:42,984
l don't know, son, but it's got great big--
1365
01:28:43,151 --> 01:28:46,737
Nuts! Hot, salty nuts!
Who wants some--?
1366
01:28:46,905 --> 01:28:48,114
Lord almighty!
1367
01:28:48,281 --> 01:28:50,074
That looks just like my husband's--
1368
01:28:50,242 --> 01:28:54,578
One-eyed monster!
Step right up and see the one-eyed monster!
1369
01:28:55,080 --> 01:28:57,373
[GROWLS]
1370
01:28:57,541 --> 01:28:59,875
Hey, what's that? lt looks like a big--
1371
01:29:00,043 --> 01:29:01,127
Woody?
1372
01:29:01,294 --> 01:29:03,629
Woody Harrelson?
Can I have your autograph?
1373
01:29:03,797 --> 01:29:05,798
Sure, no problem.
1374
01:29:05,966 --> 01:29:08,175
Oh, my Lord! Look at that thing.
1375
01:29:08,343 --> 01:29:09,677
lt's so big.
1376
01:29:09,845 --> 01:29:11,262
l've seen bigger. That's--
1377
01:29:11,430 --> 01:29:13,556
Just a little prick.
1378
01:29:13,724 --> 01:29:15,224
lt's a flu shot.
1379
01:29:15,392 --> 01:29:19,228
You've been in the coldness of space.
l don't want you to get sick.
1380
01:29:19,396 --> 01:29:24,567
lt's one thing to attack me.
lt's quite another to attack my Mini-Me.
1381
01:29:24,735 --> 01:29:27,486
l'm gonna get you, Austin Powers.
1382
01:29:27,654 --> 01:29:29,447
l'm gonna get you.
1383
01:29:29,614 --> 01:29:32,366
[CACKLlNG]
1384
01:29:47,674 --> 01:29:48,716
Thank you.
1385
01:29:48,884 --> 01:29:51,886
We're doing a follow-up to a segment
we did several months ago...
1386
01:29:52,054 --> 01:29:54,805
...on fathers who are trying
to take over the world.
1387
01:29:55,432 --> 01:29:57,391
Let's begin with Scott Evil.
1388
01:30:00,687 --> 01:30:02,104
What's going on with your dad?
1389
01:30:02,272 --> 01:30:06,275
Well, my dad tried to take over the world
with a giant laser on the moon.
1390
01:30:06,443 --> 01:30:07,526
[CROWD BOOlNG]
1391
01:30:07,694 --> 01:30:08,736
I know.
1392
01:30:08,904 --> 01:30:11,989
-Well, Scott, we have a surprise for you.
-What? My dad?
1393
01:30:12,157 --> 01:30:14,617
No, it's not your father. It's your mother.
1394
01:30:14,785 --> 01:30:16,327
Come on out.
1395
01:30:16,495 --> 01:30:17,828
[CROWD CHEERlNG]
1396
01:30:17,996 --> 01:30:19,997
CROWD [CHANTlNG]:
Mom, mom, mom.
1397
01:30:20,165 --> 01:30:23,167
Mom, mom, mom.
1398
01:30:23,335 --> 01:30:24,460
Mom?
1399
01:30:24,920 --> 01:30:28,964
Scott, you are my love child
with Dr. Evil.
1400
01:30:29,508 --> 01:30:31,675
I thought I was a test-tube baby.
1401
01:30:31,843 --> 01:30:34,887
He lies. All lies!
1402
01:30:36,139 --> 01:30:37,723
I love you, Mom.
1403
01:30:38,850 --> 01:30:40,726
I love you too, son.
1404
01:30:46,691 --> 01:30:47,691
Thank you.
1405
01:30:47,859 --> 01:30:50,569
You know,
what have we learned here today?
1406
01:30:50,737 --> 01:30:54,657
Perhaps it's that no one
can take your mojo.
1407
01:30:54,825 --> 01:30:55,908
You can look around...
1408
01:30:56,076 --> 01:30:58,869
...but what you're really trying to find
is on the inside.
1409
01:31:00,664 --> 01:31:03,249
Take care of yourself, and each other.
1410
01:31:10,215 --> 01:31:12,758
FELlClTY:
l think l'm going to like it in the '90s.
1411
01:31:12,926 --> 01:31:17,012
l never knew it could be this way.
Oh, baby! Baby, baby!
1412
01:31:17,180 --> 01:31:18,722
Oh, no.
1413
01:31:18,890 --> 01:31:21,058
[FELlClTY LAUGHlNG]
1414
01:31:21,893 --> 01:31:24,562
-Oh, that's good.
-Felicity.
1415
01:31:27,065 --> 01:31:29,233
-Austin?
-How could you?
1416
01:31:29,401 --> 01:31:30,901
l thought that....
1417
01:31:31,945 --> 01:31:33,571
AUSTlN 2:
Past Austin?
1418
01:31:35,157 --> 01:31:36,991
TechnicaIly, it's not cheating, baby.
1419
01:31:37,159 --> 01:31:39,994
Well, Felicity, I can't blame you.
1420
01:31:40,745 --> 01:31:42,955
The man is handsome, baby.
1421
01:31:43,123 --> 01:31:45,583
We're just plain handsome, man.
1422
01:31:45,750 --> 01:31:48,419
Am I wrong,
but this makes me horny, baby?
1423
01:31:48,587 --> 01:31:50,629
Very randy!
1424
01:31:51,298 --> 01:31:55,634
Well, one thing's for sure:
l've got my mojo back.
1425
01:31:55,802 --> 01:31:59,555
Oh, yes, yes, yes. lt's definitely back.
1426
01:31:59,723 --> 01:32:01,390
Hello, you all right?
1427
01:32:02,767 --> 01:32:04,935
Me spuds are boiling.
1428
01:32:05,103 --> 01:32:07,980
[ALL LAUGHlNG]
1429
01:32:08,148 --> 01:32:11,525
Come on, darIing, Iet's hop on
the good foot and do the bad thing.
1430
01:32:11,693 --> 01:32:14,278
Paging Dr. Freud.
1431
01:34:36,755 --> 01:34:39,757
MUSTAFA:
Hello, up there. ls the movie over?
1432
01:34:39,924 --> 01:34:43,135
l'm still down here
and l'm still in quite a lot of pain.
1433
01:34:43,303 --> 01:34:45,763
Maybe someone in the lobby
could caIl an ambuIance.
1434
01:34:45,930 --> 01:34:48,807
Oh! The pain is really quite severe.
1435
01:34:48,975 --> 01:34:51,852
l've fashioned a makeshift splint.
Here goes nothing.
1436
01:34:52,020 --> 01:34:53,103
[CRACKlNG THEN YELLlNG]
1437
01:34:53,271 --> 01:34:54,271
[THUDS]
1438
01:34:56,524 --> 01:34:58,525
[ENGLlSH SDH]
95996
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof