All language subtitles for Turner.and.Hooch.S01E05.WEBRip.x264-ION10 HI

[Scott] Hooch, let's tell them
what happened last week.

[Scott] Where even are we anyway?

[Laura] Valley Road. Where they found Dad
after the heart attack.

Why? It's just a random road.

Haven't you ever wondered why was he here?

Your dad was after this guy, John,
I worked for a few times.

Hired me to do some little stuff.
Scare people, break windows, slash tires.

- You know John's last name?
- No.

You saved the judge, the chief,
and I'm pretty sure you saved me too.

Nah, Hooch did most of the work.

Well then, Hooch is a hero.

So are you.

[Erica] Uh...

- Hi.
- Erica Mounir, this is Brooke Mailer.

Brooke, this is Erica.

Scott, you didn't tell me
how adorable the dog lady was.

You didn't tell me
that the prosecutor had such great hair.

Hey, do you think that we can reconnect?
Grab some dinner sometime?

Yeah. Yeah, I'd like that.

[theme from Dragnet playing
on car speakers]

[Laura] Too many balconies. Lacks taste.

[slurps]

Oh, yeah. That's good.

[sighs]

No one of importance.

You telling the truth? I don't buy it.
Tell me the truth!

Oh. Love this song.

[slurps]

[woman] Yeah.

[slurps]

- [Hooch barks]
- Ooh! Oh, gosh. Whew.

- Hi.
- Hey.

What are you listening to?

Oh, uh, I have no idea.

Just on a random shuffle. There we go.

Laura, what are we doing here?

You made me drop everything to drive here.

Shh. We are investigating.

You know those old records,
the ones I had Grady get for me?

- Yeah.
- Well...

Stuff in there was a total game-changer,
okay?

Turns out that guy from the trailer park,
the sleazebag, was telling us the truth.

Dad was tailing this land developer guy,
John Gillen. And he lives right there.

Let me see the police records.

Okay. John Gillen and Associates.
Commercial land development.

Permit lawsuit.

There's no charges here.
It's not even an arrest.

Look how much stuff is in there.
Dad was tailing him for weeks.

He's gotta be guilty of something.

Okay. A, that's not how the law works.

B, Dad hated all land developers,

and C,
you could've told me this on the phone!

If I had, would you have let me
come with you to talk to him?

- No.
- Precisely. Shall we?

You're hopped-up on juice boxes,
and I don't like it.

[doorbell rings]

Mr. Gillen? Hello?

[knocks "Shave and a Haircut"]

See, this is weird. His car's out front.
No sound in the house. It's 8:45 p.m.

- It's a big house.
- Oh, God.

What if he's keeping someone prisoner?

Bad guys always have basements.
This is textbook.

What textbook?

- [beeping]
- Oh, God. Oh, God. What did you do?

- [howling, whining]
- Me? I'm standing right here.

- [knocks]
- Mr. Gillen? Mr. Gillen, are you there?

Hello! Mr. Gillen!

[knocks]

Stay here.

It's never good when it's open.

- Mr. Gillen, are you here?
- [beeping continues]

Mr. Gillen, I heard the alarm.

Mr. Gillen, are you here?

[fire crackling]

- [Laura] What's happening?
- Aah! Geez, Laura.

I told you to wait outside!

You didn't say for how long! I counted
ten Mississippis, then I came inside.

Laura! This isn't tag! Just... Stay here.

- For how many Mississippis?
- Oh, my God.

[groans]

I checked the house. There's nobody here.

So, what happened? Where did he go?

I don't know.
Wherever it was, he went in a hurry.

See this? It's a gun case and ammunition.

He grabbed his gun and left.
But why did he need it?

Admit it! I'm onto something.

You're onto a maybe-something.

Ha! Yes!
I'm onto a maybe-something, Hooch!

And look. We found this in the trash.
He orders from Hooked Fish.

Maybe it's a clue?

Columbo, you can't just break into
someone's house

and look through their garbage.

- Hooch, we gotta go.
- Oh, so... Okay.

Can I use the bathroom, please?
I drank an entire block of juice boxes.

That's a good idea.
Leave more DNA evidence we were here.

Oh, man.

[muttering] Comme on dit, fantastique.
Comme on dit, fantastique.

All right.

Now, when Brooke gets here, you're gonna
sit and stay, right? You hear me?

Be good if you ever want to see
Mr. Horsey again.

- Hey, Scott.
- Hey.

What brings you by?

Uh, this paperwork.
Good old-fashioned paperwork.

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

Oh, and you brought Hooch.

Come on in.

[Brooke] So nice of you
to bring this by hand, by the way.

You could have just emailed it.

Pfft. You know. Computers, right?

Um... Oh, hey.
You know, I was just thinking.

I know you mentioned getting dinner,
or whatever.

Oh, yeah. We totally should.

Yeah. Um, so I've been brushing up
on my French...

What do you say
to a French cuisine do-over?

[gasps] Oh, my God.

I completely forgot about
the Cour de Lapin disaster.

What did you order again? Spleen?

- Yeah. That was an accident.
- [laughs]

Um, no. But, uh, there's this place,
Le Majestique.

It's usually booked three months out,
but they randomly have an opening tonight.

They're supposed to have a great
'87 Côtes du Rhone,

and the coq au vin
is, comme on dit, fantastique.

Ah. [speaks French]

Answer the lady, Hooch.

- [whimpers]
- [Scott] His French is a little rusty.

Um, s-so, what do you say? Le Majestique?

I would love to, Scott.

And you are very cute when you beg.

[whimpering]

[Scott chuckles] Oh, this is good, Hooch.
We're making progress with Brooke.

I think we might have
really turned a corner here.

[Hooch farts]

You know that was Hooch, right?

- I seem to have lost my appetite.
- Me too.

[clears throat]

[Hooch farts]

[sniffs] Ugh, did you eat a rat?

- [cell phone ringing]
- Ugh.

Hey. What's up?

Hey. I was just wondering
when you're gonna get here.

Oh, no. We have training today.

Yeah, kinda, sorta. Tuesdays at 8:30.

[Scott on phone] I totally spaced.

I had a meeting
at the US Attorney's office this morning,

and now I gotta get to work.

Oh. Um, that's where
your friend works, right?

The one with the pretty skin
and she's super fit?

Probably likes running?

Uh, yeah. The attorney one.

Um, hey. Listen. I am so sorry.
Can... Can we reschedule?

Yeah. Of course.
I mean, you know, probably.

Uh, I'll check my schedule.

Okay, awesome. I'm so sorry again.

- Sorry.
- [cell phone beeps]

[Hooch farts]

[Xavier sniffs]

Oh, that's different.

So, got a new job. Need a partner.

It's a very cool job.
VCJ, as the kids say.

- Do they say that?
- They will.

Leigh Anderson. [grunts]

Real estate fraud, wire fraud.

Last seen in El Dorado, so I figured
we'd head up there today and, um...

Um, I'm...

Any other day,
I would love to go get this guy.

Just I... I have a thing tonight.

Mm.

Pretty sure you said you'd do any job
I needed help with last week.

Yes, I did say that.

Great. We'll head up in ten.

I want to get there early
and scout venues for my wedding.

[chokes]

I'm sorry. Um, you're... You're engaged?
To, like, a regular person?

I me... I mean, to who?

The most perfect woman in the world.

Well, that is... Good for you, man.
[chuckles]

Hey. This warrant we're serving.
Do you think we could be back by 6:00?

We could put it out into the world. Sure.

Vest up.

- I'll drive.
- All right.

[whimpers]

- Guess we're going to El Dorado.
- [whines]

[jaunty Americana music playing]

Can we speed up a bit, maybe?
The way you drive, it's gonna be hours.

You said we'd be back by 6:00.

Nah, I said we'd put it out
into the world.

What does that mean?
We're either back in time or we're not, X.

Or it could be you're holding on
to these plans too tight.

Maybe you should loosen up your grip.
Let it go. See if it comes back.

If you let go of a reservation
at Le Majestique, it doesn't come back.

It's gone.

All right, amigo. Then we'll do our best.

Those mountains... Transcendent.

Stay right here, bud. I'll be right back.

Yeah, I'm digging the vibe
of this El Dorado place.

All these ancient trees, this soil...

I mean, think about all the pioneers
who threw caution to the wind

and came out West, seeking a better life.

It's kinda like getting married.

Great.

Uh, yeah, should be pretty easy.

Guy's in his 50s.

Let's get it done, get back to SF.
I'll take the door.

- Are you sure you don't want me to...
- I got it.

I'll head around back, in case he squirts.

[Scott] All right.

Police! US Marshals!

- Hello.
- Leigh Anderson?

We have a warrant for your arrest.

Uh, no. There's no Leigh Anderson here.
I think you got the wrong house.

[Scott] I doubt that very much.

Wow, you're kidding me.
Yeah, that does... Looks a lot like me.

You know what, Officer?

I'm gonna go get my license,
and we can clear this up.

Open the door, sir. Open the door.

[groans] X!

X, watch the exit! He's trying to run.

[engine starts]

[Scott] X!

[tires squeal]

Whoo! [laughs] That was a rush.

It's like dropping
into the Banzai Pipeline.

It was a rush losing the fugitive?

Hey. You ride the wave, you wipe out.
There's always another wave.

Call in the description of the car.
We'll look for more evidence inside.

- [barking]
- Hooch, change of plans.

Whoo! [laughs]

- [Hooch yips, whines]
- Hooch, easy. Calm down. Calm down.

[Xavier] I found a cell phone bill.
Called in a phone warrant.

Yeah, for a phone he probably ditched.
[sighs] At least you found something.

It looks like he barely lived here.

All I found was
a bag of old art magazines.

Nice. That's a good place to start
while we wait on this warrant.

What's a good place to start?
Uh, Scenes of Surrealism?

No, the bag. It's probably
where he's been shopping.

That's actually a good lead.
I gotta start looking at bags.

- [Hooch barks]
- Hooch, what's wrong with you?

I don't know what's up with him.

Okay, now. You know what?
We're just gonna...

[Hooch barking, whining]

[Xavier whistles]

What the...
No, no. Hooch. Hooch, that's evidence.

Come. No, no, no, no.

[groans] Hooch, come back. Hooch.

Stay. Stay.

- [squeaking]
- Oh...

Hooch, don't stay!

Don't stay. Hooch, do not stay!

- Oh, man. That smell is so bad.
- [line rings]

[Jessica on phone] Yo.

[Xavier] Hey, Juice.

You got a location
on Leigh Anderson's phone yet?

Yeah, I just checked a minute ago.
Nothing.

[Xavier] Cool. Can you check again?
We're kinda in a rush.

Hooch just got sprayed by a skunk,
and Scott has a date tonight.

What... Scott Turner has a date?

- With Brooke?
- Yeah.

Ooh. Look who's fancy.

Oh, wait. Hol' up.
Anderson's still in town.

[Xavier] Then I guess we're staying
in town until we catch him.

[Jessica]
Might have to put that date on hold.

Can't just walk away from a manhunt.

[Scott] Nobody's walking away. No walking.

We're just gonna catch him fast
and go home.

- [Jessica] Good luck with that.
- Thanks, J.

[Jessica] Of course.
Oh, and, uh, Scotty, for the skunk spray?

Maybe try a tomato juice bath.

From what I hear,
it works great for a skunking.

Thanks for the tip.

- Yeah, be safe tonight.
- [Xavier] Thanks, J.

So, we'll go to the Blu Market & Café
and canvass for an hour.

Get a location,
maybe that takes another hour...

If the universe
doesn't want this to happen...

Then the universe is gonna have to
change its mind.

You don't get it.

I... I told you Brooke and I used to date,
right?

She was this hotshot lawyer from the city,

and I was this kid
from Cypress Beach, and...

So, one night I took her
to this French place,

and it wound up being
the most humiliating night of my life.

- Do you know what tripe is?
- No.

Yeah, neither did I.

Anyway, we broke up at the end
of that summer, and I don't know,

- I just always wanted another chance.
- Mmm.

And now I ran into her,
and... a-and we reconnected, and...

You don't want to wipe out again.

I feel you. But you can't force it.

Now, I met Olivia on a joint op
with the Oakland PD.

She was one of the patrol officers.

On our first date,
we were at the Olive Garden.

And I look into her eyes,

and behind her I see this mugger
take this old lady's purse,

and we both get up.

It was poetry.

This beautiful dance
as we chased this guy.

And you know, even though it wasn't easy,
it was easy.

You know what I mean?

No. Two hours, 59 minutes.

[woman on PA]
Fifty-three, your order's ready.

Hi, I'm Laura Turner,
and I'm doing an investigation.

Mind if I ask you some que...
No, that's lame.

Mind if I ask you some questions?

I'm Laura Turner, investigator.
Ugh, God. Come on. Come on...

- [woman] There's a line here.
- Oh, no. Not cutting, just investigating.

[chuckles]

Excuse me?

Sorry. There's about a 30-minute wait.

[squeals] Laura freaking Turner!

Amanda freaking Mitchell!

- [Amanda screams]
- [Laura gasps]

[laughing] Hi.

Wait, you work here?

- Oh, I own the place.
- Oh, you own the place?

I bought it from
the Merz sisters months ago.

You never come in.

I know. Mom life.

Hey, Mrs. Lafferty. [laughing] Hi.

Sharon Bingham? Serena Cho?

My gosh, it's like a Cypress Beach High
reunion in here.

[laughing] Always.

How are you, Laur?
Let's grab you a seat, yeah?

Oh, my God. You're so sweet.

I'm actually on a mission.
I was hoping you could help.

- [phone ringing]
- Do you have a second?

- I have all the seconds.
- The phone? Do you need to get that?

- I have all the seconds.
- Great.

So, I know this is so random, but I need
to know about a guy, John Gillen,

and I guess he orders from here.

Oh, totally.

- His receptionist comes in for his orders.
- Oh.

Do you remember the girl
from second period,

sophomore year, always wore tie-dye?

She said her dad invented it?
Natalie something.

- Natalie. It was Natalie...
- Something.

- Natalie Leaman.
- Natalie Leaman! Thank you, Sharon.

Okay, I just need to figure out
a way to find her.

[Amanda] Oh, it's not a problem. Sit.

We can Google-stalk Natalie
while you have some fries.

- Oh, okay. Sorry. Yeah.
- Come, come, come. Sit, sit, sit.

- [Hooch barks]
- Okay. All right.

[Hooch whining]

You got your head on a swivel there.
Think Anderson might be around?

- Nah, he's too smart for that.
- [woman] Ooh!

Hey, hey, hey. Check out that bakery.
Look at those cakes.

Instead of one big wedding cake,

I was thinking of having
a lot of little cakes.

You think this place could handle that?

How would I know that?
Am I a wedding planner... Gosh. Sorry.

- Sorry about that.
- [woman] Ooh, what was that?

[Scott] Hooch, rude! Rude.

God. This skunk has really spun him up.

Also, why are we talking about
your wedding vendors?

Okay? The clock is ticking here.

Shouldn't we be trying to find
that Bluhouse Market & Café?

We did. It's right here.

[Scott] Well, good. After you.

[Xavier] Okay.

[bell dings]

- [Hooch barking]
- Welcome to the Bluhouse...

- [gasps]
- [woman] Oh!

- Sorry! Sorry.
- Oh, boy.

He's a little wound up.
He just got sprayed by a skunk.

- No kidding. [laughs]
- Oh, my God. So sorry.

You should try a tomato juice bath.
It gets the stink off.

- Yeah, I just heard that.
- Ma'am, we're with the US Marshals.

- We have a few questions.
- US Marshals. How exciting!

We're looking for this man.
Leigh Anderson, who shopped here.

Leigh. I know him, sure.
He in some kind of trouble?

For now, we just need to find him.
Any idea where he might be?

Friends? Associates?

He comes in here once or twice a week.
Never talked about himself.

I remember he spent some time
at Connie's Gallery.

Maybe he's some kind of artist.

The old art magazines at the house.

- Okay. I'm so sorry, ma'am. I'm so sorry.
- No, no.

Hooch, come on.
I gotta take him outta here.

No, no, no. Don't worry about the oranges.
I'll take care of them.

- Okay.
- Um, Connie's Gallery?

Connie's Gallery and Print Shop.
It's just down the road.

Oh, um, before I go,
do you sell tomato juice?

All out. Can't keep it on the shelf
in skunk season.

Who knew there was a season? [chuckling]

- Good girl. Now bring it back. Catch.
- [ball squeaks]

- [cell phone ringing]
- [dog whining]

Oh! Hello? Scott?

Hi. I got a bit of a situation.
Wondering if you could help.

Oh, a situation?

[on phone] Uh, depends on the situation,
but I love a situation.

Uh... Yeah, it's Hooch.

I'm out of town on a job,
and he's totally out of control.

Jumping. Pulling.
He got sprayed by a skunk.

- [Hooch barks]
- Sorry. Sorry.

Oh, a skunk spray situation.

Yeah. I mean,
he's just totally out of control.

He's jumping up on counters.
He's running at people.

I-I-I don't know what to do.

He might just be excited by the smell.
I mean, that's a pretty powerful odor.

Yeah. Yeah, it's powerful to everyone.

[sighs] I wish I could be more helpful.

It's just... It's hard to know
what's going on if we don't,

you know, rule out the skunking.

Maybe just give him a bath,
and if he's still acting up,

we'll figure it out from there.

All right, I'll try that. Thank you.

No problem.

[dog barks]

Afternoon, folks.

Your dog is welcome to come in,
by the way.

Ah, trust me. You don't want him in here.
He just got sprayed by a skunk.

Oh, poor thing.

So, is there anything
I can help you with today?

Yeah, actually, we're looking for, um...

Are those wedding invitations?

Why, yes, they are.

We do all kinds of wedding printing here.

Um, signs, name cards...
I design them all myself.

It's cotton fiber. Nice density.

That's actually the linen finish,
but I've got recycled cotton.

Can you do the deckled edge?

- Yep.
- You know what? Hey.

Can we put a pin in
the wedding planning stuff for a second?

Ma'am, we're with the US Marshals.

Oh.

Is it about that parking ticket? [laughs]

Actually, we're looking for this man.

Leigh Anderson. Have you seen him?

Leigh.

Yes, he came in.

Think he said something about
being from out of town?

- I would guess a big city.
- Big city. Why would you say that?

He was a little snobby about the art.
[chuckles]

Which is crazy, right?

I mean,
art is about bringing joy into the world.

[Hooch barking]

I'll go check on him.

- You should try a tomato juice bath.
- Tomato juice bath.

- Yeah.
- Thanks.

- Um... Hmm. If you remember anything...
- Yep. Mm-hmm.

Hey, um...

Do you do portraits?

I've always wanted to have
my engagement photo painted.

- Sure.
- Yeah?

If you can erase
all my dang parking tickets.

I can't.

Right.

- All right.
- Mm-hmm. Yep, that's yours. [chuckles]

[Laura exhales] Okay.

Natalie? Natalie Leaman? It is!

[laughing] Hi! It's Laura.

Laura Turner from high school.

Oh. Right. How's it going?

Good! Good. Wow, and it's so random
just bumping into you here.

After 13 years? Yeah.

I know.

You know, I was just talking
to Amanda Mitchell at Hooked Fish Bar,

and I was saying that
I was totally interested in real estate,

and then she said that you work
at John Gillen's office.

Wait.

You had that conversation,

and then you just happened to
walk by the place where I read every day?

Yeah. Like I said, so random.

Do you think you could
put me in touch with John?

I'm just... I'm such a huge fan.

I think what he's doing
for mini-malls is so great.

I mean, the American mall.

You remember in high school...

We'd skip last period,

and we'd drive out to Sun Towers Mall
and get Orange Julius?

No? I was never invited
to get Orange Juliuses.

You know what we should do?
We should catch up.

My son's at his dad's,
and I'm making tacos at my place tonight.

I make a mean margarita.

Laura Turner is inviting me over
for margaritas.

Uh-huh.

I guess I could go for a margarita.

[squeals] Yay!

- Okay.
- Okay, bye!

Um, I don't know where you live.

[engine revving]

[piano music playing softly]

If we go lights and sirens,
we could be back in 80 minutes.

Something to think about.

So, the Marin County Biker Club's in town,
and there are only two vacancies.

Now, I figured, we canvass
until nightfall, and then in the morning...

You seriously think
we gotta spend the night?

We haven't caught the bad guy yet.
But I believe in us.

Plus, we can scout the hotel
for the wedding.

- [cell phone chimes]
- Oh.

Olivia's coming soon.
You should tell your prosecutor to come.

Oh, yeah. X, tonight was supposed to be
our first date in years.

You want me to ask her to drive two hours,
have a grilled cheese with my stinky dog?

Kinda the opposite impression
I'm trying to make.

I could call the chief,
see if he'll send someone else.

"Hey, Chief. Mind if Scott bails
on the manhunt for a date?"

Yeah, that'll go over great.

No, you're right.
We gotta stay till we catch the guy.

- You mind?
- Yeah.

- Hooch.
- [barks]

- [tapping on phone]
- [line rings]

- [on phone] Hello?
- Hey, Brooke. It's me.

- Oh, hey, Scott. What's happening?
- You know, I have some not-so-great news.

I'm so sorry to do this,
but I'm on a manhunt,

and it looks like the guy we're after
is still in town,

and I can't leave until we catch him.

- So, I'm gonna have to cancel tonight.
- Cancel what?

Our dinner?

Oh, right. Ah, fantastique.

I mean, not fantastique.

Uh, but honestly, I'm buried today.
I would love to reschedule.

Great! Yeah. Reschedule. Perfect. Perfect.

Okay. Bye.

Bye. [clears throat]

She didn't even remember.

Sounds like you two may not be riding
the same wave.

[sighs] I don't think
we're in the same ocean.

Or is it all one ocean?

Thank you for your never-ending
aquatic references.

[Laura] Okay. [exhales]

For you.

Are those sour candies?

Oh, yeah.
Leftover Halloween candy from my kid.

"Muy authentico."

Oh.

So, tell me things.

I mean, all I know is
that you're a receptionist.

Do you love it?

Do I love my job? As a r... a receptionist?

Yeah, fair point.

Do you like your boss, at least?

We don't talk much.

Oh. 'Cause I know some people think
developers are kinda, like, bad people,

but that's probably
just stereotype, right?

- No. I work for a jerk.
- Mmm.

Did you bring me here to remind me
that my life sucks right now?

No. I'm sure you can handle your boss.
You seem tough. [chuckles]

Maybe because people like you
made me tough.

What do you mean?

Like in high school,
when everyone was mean and made fun of me?

But I never did that.

You didn't stop them.

- [whispers] Yeah.
- Whatev.

I don't expect someone like you
to understand.

Like me?

I was nobody in high school, Laura.

The kind of person that you,
in your white rhinestone jeans

and perfect boyfriend Grady Garland,
didn't even notice.

[sighs] Oh, God. Those jeans.

Also, Grady was not perfect.

And we got divorced.
And that was awful for my kid and...

It... It doesn't matter.

What matters is my friends
were mean to you.

And I was mean for not stopping them.

I should tell you.

I lied to get you here.

I just... I really wanted to talk to you.

Before my dad died,
he was investigating your boss.

And now I'm investigating and...

I was really excited,
and now I feel really bad.

I wanna say I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for what I did to you
in high school,

and I'm sorry for lying to you right now.

It's okay.

It was a long time ago, and...

the tacos are good.

[gasps] Thank you.

So, are things better now, at least?

I'd like to say yes,
but I'm back living in Cypress Beach.

Back in Cypress Beach? You left?

I lived in France for a while.

Then a French underwear model guy used me
to get a green card.

A French underwear model guy?

It's a long story. [laughs]

You know, I have a really big bottle
of tequila and plenty of candy.

[chuckling] Oh.

- Continue.
- I'll start at the beginning.

- His name was Jean.
- Of course it was.

Jean Luc.

[Hooch panting]

Oh, my gosh! [gasps] I love it so much!

My O!

My X!

[both laugh] Mmm.

Hey. So, we got lucky.
The only two rooms left are suites.

Yeah, $504 a night. Almost as much
as dinner at Le Majestique.

- You must be Scott. [chuckles]
- [chuckles]

And you must be Hooch.

- Wow. That is a powerful smell.
- Yeah.

I'm Olivia.

I know y'all are busy,
but you won't even notice me. I swear.

[gasps]

Bless their hearts.
They've got fruit in the lobby water.

- Mm-hmm.
- [giggles] My mom will love this place.

[laughs]

Give him a tomato juice bath.

- I should.
- Okay.

[Laura] Mmm. I didn't even know
there was a Disneyland Paris.

So, that's where you met your ex?

- No. We met on safari in Tanzania.
- Oh.

He was French Nigerian
and was traveling with his family,

who turned out to be royalty and crazy.

Ha! So, then you came back
to Cypress Beach

- to get your real estate license?
- I'm taking the test in two weeks.

I have been trying to get it together
to take my vet tech exam for years.

Your life is amazing.

Can't believe the guacamole princess
is calling my life amazing.

Yeah, well, this guacamole princess
has never left the country.

She definitely didn't expect to be
divorced by 27

or still be a vet assistant at 30
or be boring.

Well, she is investigating a mystery.
That's not boring.

To new projects and new lives.

Yeah. And to new friends maybe?

And new friends.

- Yeah.
- [laughs]

Hey, you like karaoke?

[laughs] I love karaoke.
I love it so much.

[Laura, Natalie singing off-key]

[music continues]

[Laura, Natalie singing continues]

[whines]

Thanks.

[singing continues]

Whoo!

- [Laura shrieks]
- [Natalie laughs]

[birds chirping]

- [Latin American music playing on phone]
- [cell phone buzzing]

[Laura groans]

Did I change my alarm?

- [music stops]
- [cat purring]

I see you judging me.

[groans]

Yep.

[laughs]

[laughs]

Aw, that's cute. [chuckles]

Wow.

[line rings]

- [Scott] Hey, Laura.
- [Laura] Hey, Scott.

I think I found a way to get to Gillen.

Laura, I... I can't really talk right now.
I'm on a job.

No. I think that I just cracked the case.

Do you think you can make it
back to CB ASAP?

Yeah, yeah.
I'll get there as soon as I can.

- Okay, I gotta go.
- No, I really...

- [line disconnects]
- Scott?

- Hey.
- Good news. They got little cakes.

Ooh.

I thought you gave Hooch a bath.
He... [sniffs] ...still smells.

Yeah. I did. A $517 tomato juice bath.

Turns out, Hooch hates tomatoes.
It was everywhere.

It looked like The Shining in there.

I don't like scary movies.

Okay.

Hooch, don't eat anyone.

- You tracked down Leigh yet?
- Uh, we're working on it.

- Well, good luck. Enjoy the coffee.
- [Scott sighs]

[cell phone chimes]

Look at my O.

Isn't she perfection?

Yeah. She's very nice and normal.

[whining, growling]

- Why wouldn't she be normal?
- No reason.

Look, no offense,

but the romantic talk's
just a little hard to take right now.

I just missed a date I've been thinking
about for half a decade.

Yeah, well, it's not about one date.

When love is right,
the universe will let you know.

Oh, well then, I'm pretty sure
the universe hates me right now.

- [cell phone chimes]
- Check this out.

Yo. I literally just asked you
to cool out on the true love photos.

No, it's not a photo. Message from Jess.

Cell tower picked up Anderson's phone.

- He's still here.
- Really?

[barks]

- [gasps]
- [barking]

[Scott] This dog.

I'm so sorry.

Your dog seems to have attacked
the tip jar.

Hooch, no, no, no. No.

- I'm sorry. Hooch, give it to me.
- [growls]

Why are you so determined
to eat this bill? Give it.

Ugh.

- Sorry.
- [whimpers]

Wait.

Where did this come from?
Who put this 20 in the jar?

I did. We stick 20s in to remind folks
tips come in all sizes.

You see this, Cookie?
Sometimes these are full of explosives.

Now you're gonna sniff the bag
and find the explosives. Ready?

No. Not a bed, Cookie. Not a...

[cell phone ringing]

Okay, it's a bed just this once.

Hey, Scott.

- [on phone] Hooch still freaking out?
- Sorry. No, no, no. Well, yes.

I tied him up outside this café, right?

He ran inside,
went straight for the tip jar,

and he started playing in the money.

Look, I don't think it was the skunk.

I think it's the money in this town
that's driving Hooch nuts.

I don't know. If there was a drug residue
on the bills or something?

Well, I doubt that because there's
pretty much drug residue on all bills.

- [sighs] Well, then what could it be?
- Wait a minute.

Could it be counterfeit?

The chemicals on counterfeit bills,
they smell really weird.

And Secret Service sometimes uses dogs
to find fake bills.

You're amazing. Thank you.

- Thank you.
- You know, it's nothing.

He already hung up.

But he said I was amazing.

I mean, he said I was amazing.

The bills are counterfeit.

Makes sense. Leigh was an artist.

He probably hung around town
to print more money.

- And if he's printing more cash...
- The gallery.

- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.

- Come on.
- [Hooch barks]

Oh, hi.

Uh... [laughs] Welcome back.

- Um, we're closing for lunch.
- [Xavier] I just need a sec.

I showed the invitations to my fiancée,
and she loved it.

Right. The woodland pattern.
I can ring it up after lunch.

[barking]

Just one question.
Do you do the printing yourself?

I do it all myself. Just me.

Perfect. I would love to see the printer.

I... The... The printer's broken today.

That's fine. I need to see it anyway.
Just to make sure it's eco-friendly.

If you insist. [chuckles]

Just let me tidy up.

Stop right there. No!

- [Connie] We've gotta get out of here!
- [Leigh] What's going on?

[Connie] The cops are here! Go!

Ready? One, two, three.

[Hooch whining, barking]

- [tires squealing]
- [Xavier] That's them. Let's go.

Give me the keys. The way you drive,
we're never gonna catch 'em.

[Xavier] Go, go, go!

[ringtone] ♪ I'm in love with my girl ♪

X, baby, this is heaven.

O, hey... Do you got your gun on you?

What's going on? Are you in trouble?

We're chasing two suspects, headed east,
and we don't have a visual.

I'm guessing they're headed
to the municipal airport.

- We need backup.
- On my way. I need my feet.

Namaste.

- [Connie] See them?
- I can't see anything, Connie.

[Connie] Are you even looking?
You have to look.

Maybe if you had a normal car
with a back window,

instead of a van filled with garbage
and canvases, I could!

The cleanliness of my van is now
a priority when the feds are after us.

As if that has ever been a priority,
Connie.

Oh, my God. With the judging.

It's, like, all you can do.

Am I insane? What am I even doing
running off to Mexico with you?

I was perfectly happy in El Dorado,

forging bank records for the drug cartel
and selling my art.

You call that art, do you?

[groans]

Hey! You with the tattoo!

I need some help.

[Scott] I don't see him anywhere.

How'd you know
there was an airport out here?

From scouting for the wedding.
Olivia's got cousins in Chicago.

[Scott]
Seriously? Scouting for the wedding?

- Over there. By the hangar!
- Got it.

- [Hooch barks]
- Come on, boy.

[whispering] One, two...

[Connie] They're here!

- [Xavier shouts]
- X!

I think I got one!

X! X, talk to me. Are you all right?

- Move faster! What's wrong with you?
- [Leigh] It's heavy.

[Connie] Get it in the plane.
We gotta get out of here.

- Where are you hit? You all right?
- [coughing]

[panting]

So that's what that feels like.

- Bulletproof vest, huh?
- [chuckles]

- [barks]
- Hey!

What's going on?

[grunts] There's a dog!
It's trying to get the money!

- Well, stop it then!
- [fabric tears]

Hooch? Hooch!

Can't we just go? This is crazy!

No. Crazy would be going to Mexico
with a dead broke idiot

who can't even appreciate fine art!

Connie! Connie!

- Hey!
- To hell with it.

Hey! Connie!

Connie! Connie!

- US Marshal!
- On the ground!

Get on the ground now!

Hey! Hey! Don't move that plane!

Go get her! I got this! Go!

[gasps]

Out of the plane!
Hands where I can see 'em!

- Slowly. Slowly.
- Your hands!

Don't... D-D-Don't sh...

Who the hell are you?

That's my girl.

And I'm gonna marry her in three months...

Two weeks and three days.

When love is right,
the universe lets you know.

I love you.

Ew.

[Hooch snorting]

[Mendez] No, no, no. Outside.
I'm sorry. I can't. It's... [groans]

- Yeah, honestly, I can't smell it anymore.
- That's sad, Turner.

You guys caught a big tuna this week.

Got a call from the Secret Service.

They've been after
Leigh's operation for months.

They sent this.

Heard you took a bullet to the vest.
How's that hit feeling?

Like a bittersweet reminder
of the fleeting nature of existence.

Okay. Well, good job.

- So, is this you two teaming up now?
- I think we may walk the same path.

Yeah. Could be.

Didn't see that coming.

Uh, anyway, great job.
Get that dog outta here.

[whimpers]

The healing power of melons.

- Turner.
- Yo.

Have you tried tomato juice on Hooch?
Heard it works wonders.

- Thanks for the tip, Chief.
- [snaps fingers]

Thank you so much
for meeting me here so quickly.

I know that you're busy,

and I'm sure you wanted to wash Hooch
before you came.

Everything smells the same now.

So, how'd you get this Gillen guy
to agree to meet with us?

I thought you said
he was totally off the grid.

That was before Natalie Leaman.

Remember, from high school?
Told everyone her dad invented tie-dye?

That rings a bell.

Yeah. Turns out,
her dad did kind of invent tie-dye.

- Hmm.
- I found out she's Gillen's receptionist,

and we totally reconnected.

I guess he was hiding at his lake house?
Oh. Oh, God. They're here.

Mr. Gillen. I'm Scott Turner.
This is my sister, Laura...

Yeah, look. Here's the deal.
I don't wanna be here.

But I don't need the feds after me either,
so let's just clear this up.

- What do you wanna know?
- Have a seat.

Our father was investigating you. Why?

You don't mind, do you?

- No.
- [Scott] She does.

[Gillen clears throat]

Simple version?

Your dad thought my mini-malls
were ruining Cypress Beach.

I thought he was an old fart
stuck in the past.

- That's pretty much it.
- That right?

We spoke to a guy named Wyatt Tolliver.
Said he did some work for you?

[scoffs]

All right. So I scared off
a couple of losers

to get a better deal on some properties.

[chuckling] Hey, don't hate the player.
Hate the game.

That particular "game"
is actually called extortion.

It's a federal crime.

[Gillen clears throat]

All right. All right.
Did I cut some corners?

And your dad got pissed about it? Yeah.

But you guys are on the wrong track here,
all right?

Then why did you run? Why were you hiding?

Wyatt freaked out
after you guys talked to him.

Told everyone that you were investigating
some big crime.

Next thing I know, the guy disappears?

Then I start seeing this creepy-looking
station wagon parked in front of my house?

I ran because I didn't wanna be next.

I... All right, look. I don't know
what your dad was investigating,

but it was... [sighs]
It was a lot bigger than me.

All right? He told me so himself.

He said he was gonna drop the case.
Had bigger fish to fry.

Bigger fish? What does that mean?

I don't know, but that's what he said
last time I spoke to him.

So, you know what? Unless you're
gonna arrest me, I'm leaving.

Oh, uh, by the way,

my mom was one of the "losers"
who sold you her house.

Find a new receptionist,
'cause, uh, I quit.

Great.

I wanted to do that for a long time.

- [laughs]
- [Laura chuckles]

I'll get the check. I still have
the company credit card. [chuckles]

That was amazing. Hooch, that was amazing.
I felt like I was in a movie.

Who do you think "bigger fish" means?

[Scott] I don't know.

[chuckles] I like Detective Laura though.
You did good. You got us a lead.

Honestly, I have not been this fired up
about anything in a long time.

I mean, I just... I...

I love Matthew,
and I love my animals, but me-wise?

You know, Natalie made me think.

I don't wanna look back on my life
and say,

"Man, I didn't do stuff," you know?

Well, all I know is when you do stuff,
you're good at it.

Aw, Scott.

[chuckles]

All right, let's go. The dog stinks.

- Okay.
- I mean, it's bad.

Mmm. Oh, my God. This is so good.

I mean, what is in this?
This is like all things I ever wanna eat.

[giggles] It's chicken, rice, peas, cheese

and secret ingredient, panko crumbs.

The dogs just love it,
and Angel and I thought,

since the baby's on the way,
that you wouldn't wanna cook.

So, we just made extra.

- So sweet.
- Mm-hmm.

How are you doing with the whole baby
inside your body?

Yes. Um, well, the new thing is
I now pee when I sneeze.

- Oh.
- But Darius always brings me fresh pants.

That's love right there.

Speaking of love,
we gotta find you a somebody, E.

[Jessica] Mm-hmm.

Me, like a human man somebody?

Yeah. Somebody like Scott.

Why would you think that?
I never said I liked Scott.

- Did you...
- Ooh. Mm-mmm.

No. Darius brought it up.

He just said he thought you and Scott
made a cute couple, like, out of the blue.

Out of the blue.

But if you were interested,
hypothetically, the timing isn't bad,

'cause I just happen to know
Scott got stuck on an assignment,

and his big date fell through.

He had a date? Oh, it was with... Brooke.

Don't you mean Prosecutor Barbie?

- [laughs]
- [Erica chuckles]

She is really pretty.

If you like that J. Crew kinda thing.
If that's your vibe.

Hundred bucks she owns golf clubs.

- [Jessica, Darius laugh]
- Oh, yeah.

- No. She owns golf clubs.
- [Darius] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I say make a move.

Like with this lady right here,
one date and I knew.

As soon as I got in my car,
I called her for a second one.

- Mm-hmm. Yeah, he did. He did.
- And it worked?

- Yeah. Mm-hmm. [chuckles]
- Yeah.

You know what?
Show up to his place with flowers.

Heck! Do it tonight.

No, no, no. No.
You want him to think she's crazy?

It's the 21st century, babe.
A woman can buy a dude flowers.

And I know a great flower shop.

No. Do not get him flowers.

- It's too soon.
- No?

- [whispering] Roses. Trust me.
- [whispers] Roses.

[Darius] Roses.

[Scott] Okay, Hooch. [exhales]

This is how it's gonna happen.

We're gonna go in the bath, all right?
We're not doing it like last time, right?

- [knocks]
- [sighs]

Mrs. Mandelbaum.

Ugh. Come on.

Mrs. Mandelbaum needs to chill, Hooch.

Mrs. Mandelbaum, there's a dog in my...

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Nice, um... outfit.
- [chuckles]

- Hey, Hooch.
- [whimpers]

Oof. Did he get skunked?

- Yeah. He did.
- Wow!

Yeah, I'm actually just giving him a bath.

I just... I wanted to apologize
for forgetting about dinner.

I googled the place, and it looks amazing,

and I was driving by your house,
so I just...

Wow. I... That's great.
I wish I wasn't in the middle of...

Do you need help with the bath?

Sure.

Okay. Let's do this.

[romantic music playing]

- [Hooch groans]
- [Scott] I'm so sorry.

- I'm not.
- That's... That's so much.

I didn't mean to.

- Oh, my gosh.
- [laughing]

Thank you.

- [no audible dialogue]
- [music continues]

[both laughing]

[cell phone buzzing]

[up-tempo rock music playing]