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1
00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:04,681
To me, the Sixers
are a five seed, tops.
2
00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:06,683
I think they're going to
the conference finals.
3
00:00:06,760 --> 00:00:10,606
Bynum, obvious monster, three-point
shooting, don't even...
4
00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:13,689
I bit my lip at
lunch today.
5
00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:16,725
Sucks.
6
00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:19,167
Anyway, I just don't see it.
The Knicks are tough.
7
00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:20,966
The Nets are tough.
8
00:00:21,080 --> 00:00:22,730
The Nets
are super tough.
9
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:26,168
And now I have this big bump
on my lip that hurts!
10
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:28,161
I hate it.
11
00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:31,082
The Hawks are terrible.
12
00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:32,605
They're always terrible.
13
00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:35,883
Okay, you need to think about
it before you come with the...
14
00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:41,562
Whatever.
It's not a big deal.
15
00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:42,880
You know, I always
tell my three-year-old,
16
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,689
if this is the worst thing
that's going to happen...
17
00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:46,410
You got to be
kidding me!
18
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:50,485
Okay, Pam! That's it!
I'm going home!
19
00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:05,204
Morning, Meredith!
20
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,001
What?
21
00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:08,971
Sorry, Pam.
22
00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:10,201
Yikes.
23
00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:14,211
Jim's been spending a few
days a week in Philly,
24
00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:17,363
and I'm not going to lie,
it's been challenging.
25
00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:22,122
Yesterday, things took
a turn for the worse.
26
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:24,248
I found out
Cece has lice.
27
00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:26,045
So, I was up all night
28
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:29,727
disinfecting every
sheet, towel, toy,
29
00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:32,644
item of clothing
in the entire house.
30
00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:34,848
I'm exhausted.
31
00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:36,206
But don't tell Jim.
32
00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:38,768
He has a huge
meeting today.
33
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,362
Under a lot of pressure,
34
00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:43,764
and he's doing it
all for the family.
35
00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:48,245
I am meeting Dr. J today,
otherwise known as Julius Erving,
36
00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:51,563
famed 76er
and my own personal hero.
37
00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:53,881
But I have to be careful not
to rub it in Pam's face,
38
00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:55,610
because
let's be honest.
39
00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:58,206
How would I feel if I was at
home, stuck with the kids
40
00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:02,080
while she was go-karting
with John Stamos?
41
00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:04,688
You sound tired.
Everything okay?
42
00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:06,609
Great!
Everything's great!
43
00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:08,722
Hey, are you nervous
about your big meeting?
44
00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:12,164
Little bit. It's a lot
of pressure, you know?
45
00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:13,924
But that's what I
signed up for, right?
46
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:15,809
Jim, the limo's here.
47
00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:20,646
You know what? I've got to hop
off, because my taxi is here
48
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:21,960
to take me
to the meeting.
49
00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:23,246
Call me later.
Okay.
50
00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:24,321
Good luck!
Thanks.
51
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:25,890
I love you.
Love you, too. Bye.
52
00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:30,449
How you doing?
I'm okay.
53
00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:31,806
I mean, it's what
you want, so...
54
00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:33,291
It's how it has to be.
55
00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:35,210
I know, I know.
56
00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:36,801
It's just hard.
57
00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:39,087
Me and Val were going nowhere,
58
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,844
and if I'm going to
be working in Philly,
59
00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:42,365
I'm going to need my freedom.
60
00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:44,681
So I convinced Val
to break up with me.
61
00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:45,761
Here's how you do it.
62
00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:48,571
You say, "What are you going
to do, break up with me?"
63
00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:49,846
Like, as a joke
64
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:51,843
and then you gain
a lot of weight.
65
00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:54,560
I'll never be sorry.
Not for a moment of it.
66
00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:55,846
Me neither.
67
00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:02,167
Hey, Meredith, I need your
supply requests today.
68
00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:05,005
Jesus H. in the morning, will
you stop your nagging already?
69
00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:06,360
No wonder Jim left you.
70
00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:08,761
He didn't leave me.
He just went part-time.
71
00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:14,165
Can you just fill out
the form, please?
72
00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:15,287
Yes.
73
00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:19,528
I'm sure she's
just confused.
74
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:22,126
People scratch their heads
when they're confused.
75
00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:26,807
Not always like an ape, the way
Meredith just did, but it happens.
76
00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:28,961
Hurry up already.
77
00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:30,565
Trust me, I know what I'm doing.
78
00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:34,201
Between the foster homes and the
orphanage, I had lice 22 times.
79
00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:36,721
Holy wow,
that's a big one.
80
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:39,167
All right, pencils down,
everyone, we've got lice!
81
00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:44,331
God, Meredith! Lice? Did you
not sign a pledge to shower?
82
00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:46,967
What? Lice?
83
00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:48,846
Oh, my God.
84
00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:51,241
Lock the doors,
we are on full quarantine!
85
00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:55,006
Dwight, relax! It's just lice.
Maybe. Possibly.
86
00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:57,162
Just lice, Pam?
87
00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:00,491
Of all the vermin in God's
great green kingdom,
88
00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:02,927
lice are the ones
I detest the most.
89
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:06,766
My first day of school, I had lice
and no one would play with me.
90
00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:09,605
For 15 years,
they called me freak,
91
00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:12,524
and four-eyes, and sci-fi
nerd and girl puncher,
92
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:15,001
all because I had
lice when I was seven.
93
00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:17,608
Make way. No, inspect me.
Dwight!
94
00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:23,524
This is the cleanest scalp I've ever seen.
You are all clear.
95
00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:26,001
I should be. I use lice
shampoo every morning.
96
00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:28,364
Hey!
Stop that!
97
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:29,845
Dwight!
98
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:31,371
Next.
99
00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,807
Geez, Meredith!
This is an office,
100
00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:35,723
it's not one of
your beanbag orgies.
101
00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:37,211
Let's give her a break.
102
00:04:37,280 --> 00:04:39,806
We don't know for sure
this is Meredith's fault.
103
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:42,884
Pam, really? Come on.
104
00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:45,281
Well, what do you want?
I know who I am.
105
00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:46,725
Nobody's taking
Meredith Palmer
106
00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:48,245
to the opera
to meet the Queen.
107
00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:49,606
Lice! More lice.
108
00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:51,326
Angela has lice.
109
00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:52,567
Ew!
110
00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:55,688
Ooh! Yabber. Lice!
111
00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:57,285
Yikers, lice.
112
00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:58,925
No!
113
00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:01,128
How? I'm so clean.
114
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:03,009
Yeah, big time lice.
Ah!
115
00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:06,402
I wash my hands at least six times a day.
Toilet seat covers?
116
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:07,970
Yes, thank you,
even when I pee.
117
00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:10,281
Apparently none of that
is protection enough,
118
00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:12,249
not when it
comes to Meredith.
119
00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:16,520
Oh!
120
00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:18,170
Hey, what are you wearing?
121
00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:21,562
It's a hazmat suit. That stands
for hazardous materials...
122
00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:24,481
Men's suit wearing.
123
00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:27,291
If you rent more than four times a
year, it just makes sense to buy.
124
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:30,603
ls there anyone else
here that is lice free?
125
00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:34,842
Excellent! You have
your own hazmat suits?
126
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:36,251
No.
No.
127
00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:37,771
Renters.
128
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,922
Okay, I'm going to need you
to gather your belongings,
129
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,002
retreat to the warehouse,
130
00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:43,844
conduct your
business there
131
00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:46,127
until the infected
have been de-loused.
132
00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:48,561
Let's get going. I'm going
to stay here and fight.
133
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:50,927
If you don't hear from
me by lunch, call me.
134
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,445
I might want lunch.
135
00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:54,648
All right, we're going
down to my warehouse.
136
00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:56,967
That means we're
playing by my rules.
137
00:05:57,280 --> 00:05:58,691
No messing with the baler.
138
00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:00,603
And be cool in front of me
and Val, we just broke up.
139
00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:02,886
You got dumped?
140
00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:04,291
Yeah, she ended things.
141
00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:05,765
Break-ups
are the worst.
142
00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:07,080
The only thing that
got me through mine
143
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,406
was large amounts
of shepherd's pie
144
00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:11,324
and Brandy, the singer,
not the drink.
145
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:15,846
Here, man. You need
that more than me.
146
00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:17,410
Thanks, man.
Yeah.
147
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,801
Guys, I think we should
all ease up on Meredith.
148
00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:25,325
This has got to
be hard for her.
149
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:28,609
No, no, no, no. I have not
yet begun to shame.
150
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:31,047
That's it! I'm getting my stuff.
I'm leaving for the day.
151
00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:32,321
No! Stanley!
152
00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:33,925
If you leave now, then
you'll get it in your car
153
00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:35,570
and then you'll
get it in your house!
154
00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:36,721
Get off me!
155
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,370
I'm trying to save
you from yourself!
156
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,602
All right, I'll stay!
157
00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:43,168
There's a pencil
poking into my rolls.
158
00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:46,250
PAM". Maybe it was Meredith.
159
00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:48,926
Maybe she brought in lice
that are totally different
160
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,287
than the lice
that I got from Cece.
161
00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:55,684
So, let's notjump to the simplest
conclusion that she got her lice from me!
162
00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:57,967
That is how wars
get started.
163
00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:01,851
Fine, I'll tell her
it was me.
164
00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:06,771
Oh, man!
That's fresh squeezed!
165
00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:09,286
And are all
the snacks complimentary?
166
00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:11,647
Yeah. Take some home
if you want.
167
00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:13,688
No, that's okay. I'm...
168
00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:24,450
I'm sorry, is this
the conference center?
169
00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:27,842
No, Mr. Erving called, said he'd
rather meet you at his private court.
170
00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:31,369
You've got to be kidding me.
171
00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:37,091
Hey, Meredith, I need to tell you some...
Yeah, Pam? What do you want?
172
00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:39,208
Oh, my God! Meredith.
What are you doing?
173
00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:41,009
Baking a cake. What does
it look like I'm doing?
174
00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:42,764
Getting rid of the lice.
Stop!
175
00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:43,887
I'm so sorry!
176
00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:45,007
Can you hold that thought?
177
00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:46,730
That's my wax.
You know, I think
178
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,450
these critters
migrated from down south.
179
00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:51,401
What were you saying?
180
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:53,406
Nothing.
181
00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:57,451
I'm going to tell her. But
now is clearly not the time.
182
00:07:57,520 --> 00:08:01,286
I will buy her a wig,
we'll have a few laughs.
183
00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:03,647
There's a right
way to do this.
184
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:10,447
Scalp leeches. Skull vampires.
Follicle gypsies.
185
00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:12,010
Hair lawyers.
186
00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:14,447
One thing is clear,
it's kill or be killed!
187
00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:18,411
No, no, no. It's more of a nuisance,
really. It's not that big a deal.
188
00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:20,084
So, I've collected your
hats and your coats...
189
00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:21,161
To be burned!
190
00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:22,327
To be washed.
191
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:23,845
What do we do
about our heads'?
192
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,571
I'm not going
to lie. Lye!
193
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,802
No. All we need
is mayonnaise.
194
00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:30,086
Excuse me?
195
00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:31,440
She's right, it works.
196
00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:33,411
I would imagine.
197
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:36,006
Yes, it helps to suffocate
the little buddies.
198
00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:38,003
And it's a really
healthy alternative to
199
00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:40,128
the chemicals found
in most lice shampoos.
200
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:41,531
I can appreciate that.
201
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:44,285
I also only eat local,
organic produce.
202
00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:47,641
Sha-boom!
203
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:49,125
How you like me now?
204
00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:52,365
Take a picture,
it'll last longer.
205
00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:54,920
We don't want it to
last longer. It's horrible.
206
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,525
Bald people make me sick.
207
00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:58,881
Yeah, yeah, everybody
pile on Meredith.
208
00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:02,089
But I'm the only one with the balls
to show them lice who's boss.
209
00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:05,566
Okay, nobody panic!
210
00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:07,290
If everybody just follows
my instructions,
211
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,130
then nobody else
needs to end up bald.
212
00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:13,281
Not that it looks bad, Meredith!
It looks... It looks awesome!
213
00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:16,446
You look like a baby who
suddenly aged 50 years.
214
00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:18,090
A cute baby!
215
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:20,168
But something sucked
the life force out of it.
216
00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:22,402
I'm so sorry. We need mayonnaise.
We need it now.
217
00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:26,121
I'll go.
It's not a big deal.
218
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:28,123
Please. No, Meredith,
can I get you
219
00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:30,129
something special
while I'm at the store?
220
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:33,283
Candy, or one of
those stylish turbans?
221
00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:36,682
Thanks, Pam. I'll take a pack of
Nicorette gum and a pack of Kools.
222
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:38,166
Okay-
223
00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:43,249
Let's talk pubes, people.
224
00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:45,725
Hey, Darryl.
225
00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:47,006
Hey, Val.
226
00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:53,886
That was tragic.
227
00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:57,684
That was like a car crash,
I couldn't look away.
228
00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:00,366
You two still clearly have
feelings for each other.
229
00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:01,441
Yeah.
230
00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:03,488
What's going to make you
feel better, big guy?
231
00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:06,769
When I was a kid, my grandmother
used to make me chocolate cake
232
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,285
when I wasn't feeling good.
233
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:10,249
She's not around
to do that anymore.
234
00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:14,564
I'm sorry, I just need a moment
to myself to clear my head.
235
00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:19,685
Poor Darryl. I can't bear to
see him suffer like this.
236
00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:23,082
I think he needs
some hugs
237
00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:25,208
and maybe some
chocolate cake.
238
00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:29,362
This won't help him,
it's a muffin. Not cake.
239
00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:31,801
Listen, let's try to get Darryl
the one thing in the world
240
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:34,326
he clearly wants
and needs the most.
241
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:35,811
An Escalade.
242
00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:38,049
Or, what's-her-name?
243
00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:40,001
Val.
244
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:41,889
Let's get Darryl Val.
245
00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:44,929
I hope you don't mind me
bringing you out here.
246
00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:46,724
I can't get my knees
under a desk.
247
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,326
Are you kidding me? I could
literally scalp tickets to this.
248
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:51,084
Well, you think you
can sink one from deep?
249
00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:54,286
Listen, I don't
mean to intimidate you,
250
00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:56,328
but I did play
a little high school ball.
251
00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:57,606
Okay-
252
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:01,361
Wow!
253
00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:03,642
Halpert's got game!
254
00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:04,960
All right. Sorry.
255
00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:08,331
I'm so sorry, this is my wife.
Can I take this?
256
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,289
If it's your wife,
you better take it.
257
00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:11,441
Right?
258
00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:16,126
Hey, what's up?
Everything okay?
259
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:17,770
Oh, no,
everything's great!
260
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:20,521
I was just calling to see
how the meeting went.
261
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:23,001
It's still happening
right now, actually. So...
262
00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:25,162
He's really making
you work for it, huh?
263
00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:29,370
Yes, it is very stressful. Are
you sure everything's okay?
264
00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:31,807
Great. lam killing it
over here.
265
00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:36,569
Jim, I've got to go.
Okay, bye.
266
00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:38,367
So sorry about that.
267
00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:40,602
No problem. Hey, Jim, what
size do you wear, man?
268
00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:43,485
I got a pair of Japanese Nikes
with your name on them.
269
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,370
What do you think?
I love it!
270
00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:49,206
Once it's all over your head, just
leave it there for four hours.
271
00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:52,329
That will be enough time
for the lice to fall asleep,
272
00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:54,204
suffocate and then
pass away.
273
00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:56,081
Sure.
274
00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:58,970
And when you're
ready to get serious,
275
00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:01,890
come to me to
get it done right.
276
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,201
Put those away
before you hurt yourself.
277
00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:09,608
Oh, God! No.
278
00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:13,171
No! No!
279
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:16,963
No! No! No!
280
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:20,442
No! No!
281
00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:23,524
Okay, it's easier with a
buddy, so everybody pair up.
282
00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:26,241
Oscar, you want
to be my partner?
283
00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:29,047
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
Pdloveto.
284
00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:34,084
Hey, mayo buddy, $5 tip if
you unclog my ears. Okay?
285
00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:35,527
Oh...
286
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:39,082
Creed, I'm so sorry. I'm already
partners with Pete. Right, Pete?
287
00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:42,921
Uh... Yeah. We promised each other
if we ever got lice, we'd buddy up,
288
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,445
so, sorry, man.
289
00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:50,005
Hey, Creed. You want
to be my buddy?
290
00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:52,687
Oh, God.
Stuck with the weirdo.
291
00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:02,409
Angela! You don't
want bugs, you know?
292
00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:05,768
Who knows where
those bugs will end up?
293
00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:08,880
You're getting a bargain.
I ain't got no hair no more.
294
00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:12,451
Creed.
295
00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:15,804
I'm all done. My turn.
296
00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:18,645
I'm sorry, Pam.
It looks a little messy.
297
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:20,687
Wait.
298
00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:25,441
How's that?
299
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:26,766
I feel it working.
300
00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:32,366
Eiffel Tower!
301
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:37,561
Can I help you?
302
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:41,611
Well, we don't want to pry, but we
heard you broke up with Darryl.
303
00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:42,920
Yeah, that's true.
304
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,843
We think you made
a big, big mistake.
305
00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:45,921
Big mistake.
306
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:47,081
Quite enormous.
307
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:50,323
He's a real catch and you
should take him back.
308
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:53,165
Okay, thank you.
Is that all?
309
00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:55,527
No. No, that is not all!
310
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:57,807
Let me tell you
what real life is like.
311
00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:00,162
The men dry up
and the nights get lonely.
312
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:03,130
The only calls on your machine
are from collection agencies
313
00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:05,851
about that pair of motorcycle
boots you've never even worn.
314
00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:08,730
You stalk your old high-school
boyfriend online,
315
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:11,485
go to his daughter's soccer
games and make a scene.
316
00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:13,801
You buy a diamond ring
for yourself,
317
00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:17,248
wear it on your right hand and
tell yourself you're all you need.
318
00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:22,611
One day you're alone, tired,
at your feet, a dying bird.
319
00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:25,441
Where did it come from?
Why did you kill it?
320
00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:29,525
Is it because, in some
strange way, it is you?
321
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,887
Thank you all
for your concern,
322
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:34,281
but I'm going to have to
ask you toleave, okay?
323
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:41,851
So does this mean you're
going to take Darryl back?
324
00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:42,921
No.
325
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:47,130
Well, then, what would you say
to you and me hitting the town,
326
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:52,203
because I'm free
literally forever.
327
00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:54,206
Yeah, Kevin asked me out.
328
00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:57,568
I was kind of feeling good about
re-entering the dating pool,
329
00:14:57,640 --> 00:14:59,290
and then Kevin
asked me out.
330
00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:01,806
Thought I might trade up
to a new level of man.
331
00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:03,850
Then Kevin asked me out.
332
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,001
Hello?
333
00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:18,081
Hi, honey, it's Mom.
334
00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:21,721
Look, Gene's school just called.
She still has lice!
335
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:23,609
What, no. That can't...
I don't...
336
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:25,921
Don't worry, don't worry,
I'm on my way to pick her up.
337
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:29,800
But you might have lice, too. Lice
can be tricky. Sometimes lice...
338
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:32,325
Oh, my God.
339
00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:37,208
Shave her head!
340
00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:43,009
You guys, I'm so sorry.
341
00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:45,082
It's just been so chaotic
with Jim gone that I...
342
00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:46,844
Yeah, yeah.
Princess Fancy Pants,
343
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:49,810
letting Jane Twelve Pack
over here take the fall.
344
00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:51,086
She's right, Pam.
345
00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:53,447
ls there a volume knob
on that thing?
346
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,727
Yes, there's a volume knob
on that thing!
347
00:15:57,560 --> 00:16:01,281
Meredith,
I am so sorry.
348
00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:04,443
Well, a lot of good your sorries
are doing her now, Pam.
349
00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:06,090
She's a monster.
350
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,401
I meant to say something
earlier, I just...
351
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:12,084
Just, just what?
352
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:14,446
Just forgot?
353
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:17,970
Who's the one that didn't
bring lice into the office?
354
00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:19,650
Meredith.
355
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:21,449
Sure I gave everybody
pink eye once,
356
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:23,324
and my ex keyed
a few of their cars.
357
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,722
And yeah, I BM'ed in the
shredder on New Year's.
358
00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:31,328
But I didn't bring the lice in.
That was all Pam.
359
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:33,921
Attention,
people of the office.
360
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:38,085
You have exactly 60 seconds
to evacuate the bullpen.
361
00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:39,366
At that time
362
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:44,166
I will be tossing this
powerful insecticidal grenade,
363
00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:48,165
which contains piperonyl
butoxide, as well as...
364
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:51,885
Dwight? Are you okay?
365
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:56,201
Whoa...
366
00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:58,928
That butoxide has a mild
hallucinogenic effect,
367
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:00,604
but I don't think
it's kicked in yet.
368
00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:02,410
I'm going to
count down from 10.
369
00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:05,605
Nine, yellow,
370
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:10,286
cold, sad, purple...
371
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:14,760
Wow. He got to purple.
372
00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:17,681
Ow!
373
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,729
Sorry.
374
00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:24,330
You're waterboarding me!
375
00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:25,481
Oops.
376
00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:38,171
No, this is fine.
We're allowed to do this.
377
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:40,650
This is okay.
378
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:45,881
Okay, you're UP!
379
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,401
Yeah, I'm actually kind of
sad to see this baby go.
380
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:51,246
You do kind of
look like Elvis.
381
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,482
But we should probably wash
all the dead lice out.
382
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:00,889
Okay. Okay
383
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,007
Okay-
384
00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:07,361
Is that too cold?
385
00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:09,767
No, actually,
it feels kind of nice.
386
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:22,763
I wonder what
happened over there.
387
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:24,848
I've been sitting
here the whole time.
388
00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:32,844
Oka.
Huh? y
389
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:35,241
Let's give it a shot.
Let's make it work.
390
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,641
Oh, no. I mean,
I want to, I just,
391
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:40,651
I don't want to force you into doing
something you don't want to do.
392
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:44,122
You're not.
I believe in us.
393
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:50,880
I'm back together
with Val.
394
00:18:52,120 --> 00:18:53,645
Yay.
395
00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:00,322
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
396
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:01,731
Had a pretty
good day today.
397
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,247
Not everything went exactly
according to plan.
398
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:11,130
But lice, if you're watching, I'm
ready for you anytime, anywhere.
399
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:19,406
Hey, Erin
already take off?
400
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:21,325
I guess so.
401
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:23,966
Okay-
402
00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:28,850
And you're Kareem,
coming to help.
403
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,405
Okay, I'm Kareem.
404
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:32,329
That makes total sense.
I'm Kareem, you're Dr. J.
405
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:33,885
Just sounds weird
to say out loud.
406
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,644
And it went
like this.
407
00:19:39,360 --> 00:19:40,725
And that's all.
That's it.
408
00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:43,206
No one will believe this back home,
but that's okay.
409
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:44,526
That's all right. Let me
show you how to do it.
410
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:45,965
Yeah, you show
me how to do it.
411
00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:47,645
This is Jim Halpert,
leave a message.
412
00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:50,882
Hey, honey. It's me,
413
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,480
just trying to catch you
before going home.
414
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:54,601
Um...
415
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:57,283
Well. Just give
me a call whenever.
416
00:19:57,360 --> 00:19:59,283
Hope your day got
better. Love you.
417
00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:04,441
Hey. What are you
doing right now?
418
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:06,405
I'm just going
to go home.
419
00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:09,131
My mom's been watching
the kids all day.
420
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:11,771
Let her stay another hour.
Let's go get a beer.
421
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:15,401
Really? A beer sounds
incredible right now.
422
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:18,165
No duh. Let's go,
you're buying.
423
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,404
Meredith, I am so
sorry about today.
424
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:24,891
Forget about it.
425
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:26,689
I just did not
realize how hard
426
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:28,564
it was going to
be without Jim.
427
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:32,888
I mean, I really respect you for
being a single morn all these years.
428
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,809
It whipped my ass
in half a week.
429
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:37,325
I have to say, there are
not a lot of people
430
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:38,930
who could pull
off a shaved head,
431
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,161
but you are rocking it.
432
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:41,481
Right?
433
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:44,161
I got the bartender's phone
number when you were in the john.
434
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:47,801
I'm going to take that freak to
bone-town before the night is over.
435
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:49,890
Get it, girl.
436
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:58,004
This one is for all
you ladies out there!
437
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:02,004
I come...
Not yet.
438
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:07,370
I come home
in the morning light
439
00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:12,082
My mother says, "When you going
to live your life right?"
440
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:15,563
Oh, Mother dear,
we're not the fortunate ones
441
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:19,209
And girls,
they want to have fun
442
00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:23,365
Oh, girls just
want to have fun
32564
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