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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,640 --> 00:00:07,804 Yesterday, Angela may or may not have figured out that 2 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:09,484 lam having an affair with her husband. 3 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:11,921 So I just have to wait and see 4 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:14,481 when she comes in, if she's cold and awkward 5 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:17,848 and cruel to me, then great, it's business as usual. 6 00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:24,249 Good morning. 7 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:31,321 Oscar. 8 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:37,489 Can I ask you a question? 9 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:41,606 Of course, ask me a... Questions. 10 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:44,169 Is it cool in here to you? 11 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:50,326 Yes, a little bit. Yes! 12 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:52,325 I think that thermostat is acting up again. 13 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:53,851 It's the stupid thermostat! 14 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:58,244 That thing's a catastrophe. So, I'm going to... 15 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:00,926 ...on your suggestion, get someone to fix it! I'll just go downstairs. 16 00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:02,561 Thank you. 17 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:03,761 No, thank you, Angela. 18 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:07,731 She doesn't know. I shouldn't be surprised. 19 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:11,088 This is a woman who married a man who is obviously a homosexual. 20 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:13,367 Basically she has her head in the sand. 21 00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:18,843 In a way I feel sorry for her. I guess the universe rewards true love. 22 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:33,003 Well, it's finally happened. 23 00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:34,809 Pam has ceased caring. 24 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:38,445 These are my painting clothes. 25 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,441 I think I'm going to do it. lam really going to start 26 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:43,329 painting the warehouse mural today. 27 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,607 Sure you don't want to put another coat of primer on that, Pam? 28 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:47,284 Queen of the primer, that one. 29 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:49,124 You got this, Beesly. 30 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:52,124 Actually, do you want me to come down and help you get started? 31 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:53,440 Are you avoiding your phone call? 32 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:56,126 What? Yeah, right. As if. 33 00:01:57,240 --> 00:01:58,730 Today I will be asking David Wallace 34 00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:00,285 if I can start working part-time, 35 00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:02,362 because the sports marketing company that I started 36 00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:04,283 really needs me to be there. 37 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:08,251 Last week, Jim wasn't there and they named the company Athlead. 38 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:11,046 I could have prevented that. 39 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:13,088 So, lhaveto talk to Wallace. 40 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,407 Tell them your opening line. 41 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,682 Hey, David? How'd you like a guy who's not here as much, 42 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:19,649 gets paid the same amount of salary 43 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:21,882 and has bigger fish to fry in Philadelphia? 44 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,249 I think it's good. He likes fishing. 45 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:27,084 This is going to be awful. 46 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:32,482 One of myjobs is to input customer complaints into the computer. 47 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:36,047 And when they're in, I fill out one of these cards. 48 00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:38,248 But the information's already on the computer. 49 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:41,244 So, why am I filling out the card? 50 00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:45,249 I asked Andy and he told me to chillax. 51 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,087 And then went away on a big, long boat ride. 52 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:50,162 So here we are. 53 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:51,965 Don't give me a pointless office chore, 54 00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:55,169 because I will build a little paper house. 55 00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:57,929 Fight the power. 56 00:03:02,920 --> 00:03:06,242 Meet me in the old place. Five minutes. I need you! 57 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:18,810 Come on in, the water's fine. 58 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:22,569 Dwight, it's not that kind of meeting. Put your clothes back on! 59 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,480 I know. That's not why I'm naked. 60 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:28,568 I always work out without my clothes. 61 00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:31,689 Just put them on! Put on your clothes. 62 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:35,921 I need your help. I need someone who can operate outside of the law. 63 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:40,407 I'm sorry, your vigilante privileges ended when you broke up with me. 64 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:43,051 If I'm not in your panties, I don't go vigilantes. 65 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:44,810 Why don't you ask your husband? 66 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,644 My marriage is in danger. 67 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:49,121 I don't know who I can trust. 68 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:51,328 I need someone to be there for me. 69 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:55,563 All right, what are we talking, surveillance, wire-tapping? 70 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:56,846 Something like that. 71 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:58,490 Yeah. The less I know the better. 72 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:01,166 I know just the guy. He was a volunteer sheriff, too. 73 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:02,566 Kicked off the force. 74 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:04,005 Can you arrange a meeting? 75 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:05,485 I can try. 76 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:09,326 I'm going to use SMS text. Okay. 77 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:11,927 The text went through. 78 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:13,121 Okay- 79 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:14,247 All we can do is sit and wait. 80 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:15,321 Okay- 81 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:16,641 Oh! 82 00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:20,845 Look at that. Yeah, he's free any time. Not a problem. 83 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,842 I mean, I can handle any client issues from Philly. 84 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:29,084 Yeah, but I really need someone in the office, if there's a crisis. 85 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:30,400 The more I think about it... 86 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:31,760 You mean handle it in person? 87 00:04:31,840 --> 00:04:34,525 Well, Phyllis and Stanley have agreed 88 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:36,329 to cover for me while I'm gone. 89 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,368 They did? Yep. 90 00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:43,044 Okay. Well, that is different. In that case, yes, maybe this can work. 91 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,361 Great! 92 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:46,045 Why should we help you? 93 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:47,730 Because we are friends. 94 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:49,490 When is my birthday? 95 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:51,210 Unfair. When's my birthday? 96 00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:53,248 I don't know, because we're not friends. 97 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:57,007 How about this? You let me take you to lunch and I make my case. 98 00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:59,003 Now we're talking. All right. 99 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:00,206 Yeah. 100 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:04,451 Make it go taller. 101 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:06,325 Thafstheidea. 102 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:10,564 No, not taller this way, taller this way. 103 00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:13,929 Well, I've got to build a wider base first before I can go higher. 104 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:18,723 You're not getting this, Peter. Make it go wider, up. 105 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:21,800 Will do. 106 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:23,850 What are y'all doing? 107 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:25,968 Me and Pete are building a tower. 108 00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:28,447 Cool. It should be taller though, right? 109 00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:30,170 Obviously. 110 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:36,044 He's a sweet kid, Darryl, but not the sharpest guy in the drawer. 111 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:39,683 Kevin, I can hear you. 112 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:41,361 Uh-huh. 113 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:47,930 Ow! Dwight! God. Get in the van. 114 00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:53,080 Is it safe to talk? 115 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:56,051 Well, this documentary crew has been following our every move 116 00:05:56,120 --> 00:06:00,284 for the past nine years, but I don't see them, so I think we're good. 117 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:04,008 So. What are your credentials? 118 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,846 I started following people around to get exercise. 119 00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:08,809 Turns out I'm damn good at it. 120 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:10,724 Do you have a gun? 121 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:13,008 Does he own a gun? Show her. 122 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:15,851 You tell me. 123 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,530 What is this? 124 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,648 That's the receipt for my gun. 125 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:23,728 You don't carry it with you? 126 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,963 Read the receipt. That's a $300 gun. 127 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:28,561 Someone could steal it. 128 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:29,766 You have any idea how many guns 129 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:31,006 Trevor has had stolen from him? 130 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:32,321 Now I keep it in a safe. 131 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:34,211 A good safe? 132 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:35,971 You tell me. 133 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:39,401 Wow! 134 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:54,765 I guess if I make a mistake, 135 00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:58,083 I can just paint over it with a shrub or something. 136 00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:00,845 It's just I think less of paintings with a lot of shrubs, 137 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:04,288 so I'm going to limit myself to one shrub. 138 00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:06,521 You paint wall now? 139 00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:10,003 Yeah! Painting now. 140 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:12,369 I just want to make sure that... 141 00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:14,687 You paint now? 142 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:17,242 I mean, it's probably going to be a few minutes, 143 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:20,085 so you can just go back to doing whatever you were doing. 144 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:22,766 I wait. 145 00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:26,683 Sweet! Yay! 146 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:30,807 This next card comes to us thanks to Meredith Palmer, 147 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:35,204 who called Eastern Pennsylvania Seminary a, quote, "sausage factory." 148 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:36,281 Oh! 149 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:41,206 All right. 150 00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:44,530 Up next, we got a whole lot of Creed. 151 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:46,887 Let's find out what I did. All right. 152 00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:51,487 You get half now and you get half upon completion of said job. 153 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:53,011 And it's all off the books? 154 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,321 Obviously. 155 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:55,890 Nice. No taxes. 156 00:07:56,880 --> 00:08:00,009 Okay. So, everything you need to know about the target is in here. 157 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:01,731 So, what's the job? 158 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:04,641 Murder. 159 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:07,526 Okay. That's the big one. That's the big 160 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:11,646 You can't have someone murdered! 161 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:13,171 What if they deserved it? 162 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:14,685 What did they do to you, Angela? 163 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:16,245 They're sleeping with my husband! 164 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:19,240 Monkey. I feel for you. 165 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:20,851 This seems a little crazy. 166 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:22,325 Yes, crazy! Thank you. 167 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:23,481 But I think I'm up for it. No! 168 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:25,688 Thank you! No, absolutely not. 169 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:27,091 There are a lot of different ways to get revenge. 170 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:30,528 I've had great success by defecating in a paper bag, putting it on the porch. 171 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:31,601 That's very effective. 172 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:33,921 I've been on the receiving end of that quite a few times. 173 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:36,771 It's devastating. No, no, no, it has to be physical. 174 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:38,046 I want this person to suffer. 175 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:39,361 What about a knee-capping? 176 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,408 No! You're not helping, Trevor. 177 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,443 Yes! A knee-capping could work. 178 00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:46,570 No! Angela! What are you saying? 179 00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:48,364 You said you would be there for me. 180 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,602 I'm trying, but what you're asking is... 181 00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:53,809 It's the only thing that will make this right. 182 00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:58,765 Okay. But it's cruel, 183 00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:01,650 because a woman with damaged knees can't scrub worth a damn. 184 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:05,249 All right, then it's settled, one knee-capping. 185 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:09,725 Now, the hit goes down at 4:00. Keep in mind, once I leave, 186 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,131 there's no turning back. 187 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:15,127 You know, truth be told, I think all you'll really be doing 188 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:17,402 is accepting calls from my clients while I'm gone. 189 00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:20,086 We've got all afternoon to talk about that. 190 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,207 Morning, folks. 191 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:24,642 I'll have the surf and turf, with a side order of lobster. 192 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,128 Actually the surf and turf does come with lobster. 193 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,123 Not enough lobster. Side order. 194 00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:31,288 How much wine do you have? 195 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,849 I brought you a cookie. 196 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:37,890 Thanks, Oscar, you're such an angel. 197 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:54,080 I just gave her a cookie, and she called me an angel, 198 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,447 so, yeah, we're good. 199 00:09:56,520 --> 00:10:00,241 Yeah, we dodged a bullet. 200 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:02,561 Yes, okay. Yeah. 201 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:05,803 Yeah, well, I got to go now, but, okay. Bye.Bye. 202 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:08,204 There we go! 203 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:11,441 Nicely done, very nicely done. Nice. 204 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:15,809 All right, this next one goes to Darryl for pocket-dialing a customer 205 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:17,086 while having sex. 206 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:18,401 Oh! 207 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,684 You salty dog. 208 00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:23,730 Well, you know. What can I say? Player's got to play. 209 00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:24,801 There you go. 210 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:28,123 Actually that was the sound of me eating spaghetti, 211 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:30,680 but I'm going to let them think the other thing. 212 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,723 Okay, I got this one. 213 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:34,689 Be careful! Be careful! 214 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:36,569 Easy does it, everyone. 215 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:39,520 Nobody even take a breath. 216 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:41,409 Kevin, don't. 217 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:47,044 Kevin! What did I say? What did I just say? Look at that... 218 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:50,403 Hey, hey, hey! It's just a mistake. It's just a mistake. 219 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:52,721 That's what this tower is all about. Mistakes. 220 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:57,008 Okay? If you're afraid of screwing up, this tower's not for you. 221 00:10:57,080 --> 00:11:00,846 Show of hands, who here has never had a complaint? That's right. 222 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,609 Nobody! See that? Nobody. 223 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:08,127 Okay? Let's get back to work. 224 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:10,685 Come on. You in? 225 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:12,851 Yeah! Yeah. 226 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:15,048 There we go. All right, let's do it. 227 00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:18,450 You know, at the end of the day, 228 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:20,045 it's really only two days, remember. 229 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:21,645 I mean, I'll be back at the office, 230 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:23,563 and if you need me for an emergency, call me. 231 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:26,325 You know what? I don't know where the years went. 232 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:31,081 Because sometimes when I look at my hands, I don't even recognize them. 233 00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:33,647 Tell me about it. Whose hands are these? 234 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:36,002 They're not my hands. Oh, no. 235 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:39,050 All right. You know what? Maybe we'll just... We'll go slow. 236 00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:40,451 No, Jim. 237 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:43,928 All right! Check it out. Yes! 238 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,367 Like a phoenix from the ashes! 239 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:50,611 Nice. Pretty soon, we're going to be at the ceiling. 240 00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:53,483 Can you hand me a card? 241 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:55,846 It's empty- 242 00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:57,451 What? What? 243 00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:58,885 Come on, we could use a blank card. 244 00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:00,086 No! No! 245 00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:01,321 That's cheating! 246 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:02,686 I could get us a complaint. 247 00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:07,246 You? Little Miss Priss? You wouldn't fart on a butterfly. 248 00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:10,331 No, lwouldn't. I can't even relate to that impulse. 249 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:14,647 But I bet I can get us a customer complaint and I'd like to try. 250 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:18,846 Yeah! Go Pam! All right. 251 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:22,402 Pam! Pam! Pam! Pam! Pam! Pam! 252 00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,050 Go, Pam! Go, Pam! 253 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,730 Pam! Pam! Pam! 254 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:27,006 Hey Kevin, let's... 255 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:28,281 Pam! Pam! Pam! 256 00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:30,601 What? Why did you call me out here? 257 00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:33,445 The target. It's Oscar, isn't it? 258 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,082 He and the Senator are gaying each other. 259 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:38,446 I don't know what you're talking about. 260 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:40,124 Your nostrils tell a different story. 261 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,851 They flare like that every time you're engaging in deception. 262 00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:44,565 Hello again, naughty nostrils. 263 00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:47,481 Fine, it's Oscar! So what? 264 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,849 Well, I could understand you wanting to get a stranger's knees whacked, 265 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,122 but a co-worker, dare I say a friend? 266 00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:57,046 Exactly, a friend, someone who sits next to you, year after year, 267 00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:58,690 making chit chat and smiling. 268 00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:01,923 And all the while running behind your back, and defiling your marriage, 269 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,525 and seducing your husband! 270 00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:07,367 I can't even imagine how painful this must be for you. 271 00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:12,120 But the first ones to break your marriage vows were you and me! 272 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:16,643 Well, you might be right. But it's too late now. 273 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:18,247 What do you mean? 274 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:19,481 He's here. 275 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:24,286 No! No, no, no! 276 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:32,967 Oscar? Oscar! Oscar, good! Listen! Hey, come with me! 277 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:34,491 What? Come with me! 278 00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:35,721 What are you doing? 279 00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:37,086 There are a bunch of construction workers 280 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:38,730 in the warehouse without their trousers... I'm working. 281 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:40,484 ...drinking diet sodas. 282 00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:43,404 You have got to see this. They're extraordinary. 283 00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:44,970 Yahtzee! 284 00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:54,847 Sandwich delivery for Mr. Oscar Martinez. 285 00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:01,081 I am Oscar Martinez. 286 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:04,847 No, not him, outside! Outside! 287 00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:08,121 What, what? 288 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:09,930 You know there's donuts in the break room? 289 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,411 Nice! 290 00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:15,210 Listen, I was really wondering if maybe 291 00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:16,970 we could lock this down before lunch is over. 292 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:18,849 Don't be pushy, Jim. It's tacky. 293 00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:20,121 All right. 294 00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:22,680 Phyllis! Phyllis! That's decorative. 295 00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:23,921 No, there's wine in here. 296 00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:25,166 It's still decorative. 297 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:26,526 Is it white wine? Nope. 298 00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:28,125 Dude, hey, can you help me? 299 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,043 Don't poke people with knives! 300 00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:31,841 Ph u" u y '8 301 00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:33,121 Wow! 302 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:34,810 Bring it over. Got it. 303 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,162 There's no time to explain! 304 00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:43,168 Dwight... Okay, actually there is time to explain. 305 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:45,447 When Angela found out that you seduced her husband, 306 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:47,045 we hired a guy to break your kneecaps. 307 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:49,009 My God! What is wrong with you? 308 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:51,043 What is wrong with you? 309 00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:52,685 There are a million gorgeous guys 310 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,404 in the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre area, 311 00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:56,528 and you choose the man who is the father of her child? 312 00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:58,608 I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, don't lie! 313 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:01,843 I'm trying to save those precious knees you're always bragging about! 314 00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:04,770 Now let's get out of here! He could be right behind us! 315 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,129 Actually, he's right in front of us! 316 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,487 Let's get it on. I'm going to do this. 317 00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:13,040 I might... I might puke, but I'm going to do this. 318 00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:15,043 No, Trevor. I'm not going to let you. 319 00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:17,128 He's a Dunder Mifflin man. He's my tribe. 320 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:20,449 Sorry, Dwight, but for once in my stupid, stupid life, 321 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,124 I'm going to follow through on something. All right? 322 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:23,964 I have masculinity issues, lhaveโ€œ. 323 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:26,088 Stop! No! Qkav-I got it! 324 00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:27,969 Disarm! You don't know... 325 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,842 lsummon, I summon, I summon... 326 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:33,804 And disarm! Now! 327 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:36,530 Okay. Okay. Okay. 328 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:38,210 No, Oscar, no! He's a friend! 329 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:39,685 Okay. He's a friend. 330 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:43,448 Okay, the client is Heymont Brake and Tire. They're family owned, 331 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:45,443 but don't let that take away your edge. 332 00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:48,888 Come on, Pam, I know you can fail. I see failure in you. 333 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:53,081 Remember, you're a scum bag, so you think scummy thoughts, like this. 334 00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:59,410 Hello, this is Pam Halpert. I'm calling from Dunder Mifflin. 335 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:01,804 Yes, your paper provider. 336 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:05,521 And I just called to say 337 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:07,802 your mama is so fat, when she wears red 338 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:09,370 people yell "Hey, Kool-Aid!" 339 00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:12,364 Yeah, your mom is fat! This is Pam Halpert! 340 00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:15,764 - Did they say anything? - What did they say? 341 00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:18,008 I couldn't tell. I don't... Were they angry? 342 00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:19,884 I felt like they were confused at least. 343 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:21,689 Okay. 344 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:24,846 Oh, my- 345 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:30,164 Dunder Mifflin, this is Erin. Yes, you can. 346 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:32,281 Okay- 347 00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:36,165 I will make sure that goes on file. 348 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:39,483 Ladies and gentlemen, we just lost a client! 349 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:41,602 Yes! All right! 350 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:44,284 Come on! You did good. You did good. 351 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:46,249 See you later, Heymont! 352 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:52,491 If you chase me, I will run so fast. 353 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,365 If you catch me, I will bite so hard. Got it? 354 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:57,251 Goodbye, my friend. 355 00:16:57,440 --> 00:16:58,487 What the hell, Dwight? 356 00:16:58,600 --> 00:16:59,726 See you later, Trevor! 357 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:01,525 You are incorrigible! 358 00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:04,604 I just saved your life! You're welcome! 359 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:10,085 You hired someone to hit me with a pipe! 360 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:12,367 You deserve every bit of it! 361 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:14,283 You made my husband gay! 362 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:19,291 What I did was wrong, and I have to live with that every day. 363 00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:23,449 But your husband is gay and he was gay when you married him. 364 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:24,686 No, no. 365 00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:26,000 Angela, until you face that, 366 00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:28,401 you're going to be confused and angry for all the wrong reasons. 367 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,847 But if you want to blame me for the whole thing, 368 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:34,008 go ahead. I won't stop you. 369 00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:35,889 Hit me, you have my blessing. Hit me! 370 00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:38,521 Well, are you going to let go of it? 371 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,841 Because part of the blame is definitely on you. 372 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:41,967 Angela, it's a lead fricking pipe! 373 00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:43,167 God! 374 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:45,851 You were supposed to be my friend! 375 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,445 I'm so sorry! Angela! 376 00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:48,681 Oscar. 377 00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:57,482 Our crowning complaint card comes to us thanks to Pamela Halpert. 378 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:03,768 For insulting a client's recently deceased mother. 379 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,086 I did not know that. No. 380 00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:09,721 A woman who struggled with obesity all her life. 381 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:11,450 I am so sorry. 382 00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:15,320 Yeah, that is terrible. 383 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:17,731 All right! 384 00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:19,330 Go, Pam! 385 00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:21,369 You did it! 386 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:34,168 I feel so stupid. I sit next to him every day. 387 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:38,410 You're not stupid. Jazz is stupid. 388 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:44,801 Jazz is stupid! I mean, just play the right notes! 389 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:46,883 I know. 390 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:52,884 You're going to be okay, Monkey. 391 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,001 Idon%Hke your friend Trevor. 392 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:04,368 I don't like him either. 393 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,330 And yet, I really like him. 394 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,128 Well, we're here. 395 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:20,570 Perfect. 396 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:31,607 We're going to cover for you, you know? 397 00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:35,083 Phyllis, what was that? Phyllis, are you dreaming, or... 398 00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:38,645 I did enjoy grinding your beans, son. 399 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:42,485 Yeah, we really did peel your grapes. 400 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:45,006 This is hilarious. But we're going to stop with all the... 401 00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:46,451 Shucking your peas! 402 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:47,891 Shucking my peas. 403 00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:51,009 All right, just go back to the first part. You are going to cover for me? 404 00:19:51,360 --> 00:19:52,486 Yeah. 405 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:55,131 Of course we are, Jimmy. We love you guys. 406 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:58,569 Oh, my God! Thank you. Thank you. 407 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:02,041 If you're an artist, you have to be okay with the idea 408 00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:04,009 that you can't please everybody all the time. 409 00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:05,366 You paint very bad, bad! 410 00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:06,845 Shut up, Hide! 411 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,722 I mean, do you think Kevin cares what people think about him? 412 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:11,928 Or Creed? Or Meredith? 413 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:15,930 Oh, my gosh, these are my role models now. 414 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:19,406 You know what? I'm okay with that. 415 00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:26,963 Where does gayness come from and how is it transmitted? 416 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:30,490 Now that is a loaded question. 417 00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:33,040 My pastor said it can come from breast feeding. 418 00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:35,446 He said that? 419 00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:37,090 Well, he didn't fight me hard on it. 420 00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:41,887 I don't know if there's truth to that. 421 00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:45,807 What is it called when two men intertwine their penises 422 00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:48,850 like the snakes on the medic-alert bracelet? 423 00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:50,481 Uh... 424 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,530 Is it called Red Vine-ing? 425 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:57,562 We heard it was called Red Vine-ing. People Red-Vine? 426 00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:01,849 Where are gay men's vaginae? 427 00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:05,090 They don't have vaginae. 428 00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:06,440 What? 429 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:10,010 No. They're just regular men. 430 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:13,481 When two gay men have sex, 431 00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:16,325 how do they know whose penis will open up 432 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,687 to accept the other person's penis? 433 00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:23,521 Wow. 32198

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