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1
00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:07,883
Can you guys come
with me for a minute?
2
00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:11,369
I know you saw me
with the Senator.
3
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:14,087
I think I'm in love,
possibly for the first time.
4
00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:16,925
So, yes, Senator Lipton
and I are having an affair.
5
00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:23,281
I hope that I can count on your
sensitivity, maturity, and discretion.
6
00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:31,600
Why?
7
00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:42,890
All right, good, yeah.
Just sell it
8
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,371
and get the best
price you can. Okay?
9
00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:46,324
Or we can hope
for a holiday rally.
10
00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:47,930
Mike. I'm not
a day trader.
11
00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:50,321
I'm just a first
responder in a disaster.
12
00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:52,603
Andy's family
had a total meltdown.
13
00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:54,284
His dad blew through
all their money and
14
00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:56,089
took off to Argentina
with a younger woman.
15
00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:59,010
And his brother, Walt, Jr.,
locked himself in the wine cellar.
16
00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:00,969
The weirdest part is Andy.
17
00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:03,090
The aftermath
got dumped on him,
18
00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:05,606
and the way he's been
handling it is just so...
19
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:07,804
Competent.
Right?
20
00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,721
Are the Nards hurting? Yeah, you bet.
Got kicked pretty hard.
21
00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:12,330
Family's shattered,
supersad.
22
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:15,011
But I'm kind of crushing it in
the damage-control department.
23
00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:16,724
So, that's cool.
24
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,729
I wish my dad
could see me now.
25
00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:21,402
Of course, he caused
this whole mess, so
26
00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:22,686
him.
27
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:24,925
Kevin, listen to me.
28
00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:26,966
I'm in love
with the Senator.
29
00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:31,085
And I need time to sort this
out in a responsible manner,
30
00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:33,731
so I need your help
in keeping it a secret
31
00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:37,282
because this means
the world to me. Okay?
32
00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:41,640
That's beautiful.
No, I totally get that.
33
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:43,843
Can you do this,
Kevin?
34
00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:47,205
I really want to.
35
00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:50,241
Whatever happens,
always remember that.
36
00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:51,765
I don't know what that means.
Hey. Hey.
37
00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:53,450
Oh. Great.
38
00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:56,406
Yeah, um, I'll get
right back to you.
39
00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:01,447
Hey, guys, has anyone ever heard
of Iris Black on the radio?
40
00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:03,728
Yeah, she hosts
The Dr. Laura Show.
41
00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:05,405
Nope, that's Dr. Laura.
42
00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:06,971
Well, her show, BizWhiz,
43
00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:09,611
wants someone from Dunder Mifflin
to come on the air today.
44
00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:13,123
Does anybody feel particularly
passionate about local business issues?
45
00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:16,728
L do! I do!
Idolldolldol
46
00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:19,122
The media
can make you famous.
47
00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:21,244
And do you have any
idea how easy it is
48
00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:23,209
to sell something
when you're famous?
49
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:24,561
Uh...
50
00:02:24,640 --> 00:02:29,202
Yeah, wow. Ten reams of 40-pound
bond at only $6.90 after discount?
51
00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:31,408
Uh, whatever you say,
Brad Pitt!
52
00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:34,130
It's that easy.
53
00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:37,526
Hey. So, that good-looking
single brother of yours?
54
00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:39,921
Heard he was in a downward
spiral with booze.
55
00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:42,247
Yeah, he's in rehab,
actually.
56
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:45,370
Which place? The one right near Philly?
I could be there in an hour.
57
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,240
No, it's in New Mexico.
58
00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:48,401
Oh.
59
00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:52,447
So, how are you
holding up?
60
00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:53,601
We're done, Meredith.
61
00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:55,841
Right.
62
00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:01,447
Greta, the tittle-tattle, prattled
on about the little metal bottle.
63
00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:03,289
Oh, my God. She spat a
bit of spittle on the...
64
00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:05,089
Dwight! ...mottled brittle
cattle in a bitter battle...
65
00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:06,207
Hey, hey!
66
00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:08,169
Stop questioning
my methods, okay?
67
00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:11,801
I was chosen for this task
for a very good reason.
68
00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:13,086
No. You chose yourself.
69
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:16,329
Tricky Siskel spat
a bit of wicked biscuit.
70
00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:19,529
All right, guys, there's a lot of
assets here that my dad couldn't steal.
71
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:22,410
Now, first of all,
there is the family boat,
72
00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:24,364
a 43-foot Tartan Sloop.
73
00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:26,882
My lawyer has lined up
a buyer in the Bahamas.
74
00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,361
The sale would cover
the cost of a condo
75
00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:31,283
and living
expenses for my mom.
76
00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:32,561
Sounds great.
Perfect.
77
00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:34,688
Totally, except it is
a no-go.
78
00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:37,406
This boat was the heart and
soul of our family, so...
79
00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:38,970
What else we got?
Non-boat ideas.
80
00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:40,770
- What happened?
- Jammed.
81
00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:43,361
- Can this day get worse?
- Excuse me a second.
82
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:45,488
Yeah, I think
this day could get worse.
83
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,841
You've got about 15 grand in
silverware... What does that mean?
84
00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:50,161
- Kevin!
- ...and napkin rings?
85
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:52,562
I don't know what
you're talking about.
86
00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:54,963
She could get,
like, 60 packages
87
00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:56,883
of ramen noodles
for five bucks.
88
00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:58,610
She could eat for a month.
Oh, hey. Sorry.
89
00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:00,569
All right, what's the grand total?
Did we make our nut?
90
00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:03,844
If we sell
everything but the boat,
91
00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:06,651
your mom should be set
for about six months.
92
00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:09,005
Guys, you don't understand.
93
00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:11,208
This boat's been in our family
since before I was born.
94
00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:14,366
Yeah. Don't you
guys have that place
95
00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:17,450
where you used to spend your summers
and have all those memories?
96
00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:19,011
I worked at
a Jiffy Lube.
97
00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:20,969
See? I bet you
wouldn't sell that Jiffy Lube
98
00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:22,929
for all the money in the
world, would you, Darryl?
99
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,401
I would if I owned
it and I went broke.
100
00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:27,331
All right.
Uh... All right.
101
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,528
I'm going to tell the lawyer to
pull the trigger on the boat.
102
00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:33,681
Yes, the boat means everything to
my family, but we need the money.
103
00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:36,087
Got the memories, don't need the boat.
Can't cry about it.
104
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:37,361
What are you going to do?
Cry about it?
105
00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:38,521
Excuse me.
106
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,011
Oh! Okay.
107
00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:43,890
No problem. Thanks.
108
00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:48,040
Hey, guys, WPTU called.
The interview's off.
109
00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:51,087
They're opening a new cupcake
store at the Steamtown Mall,
110
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:52,929
and Iris wants
to cover that, so...
111
00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:54,724
Well, why don't
I go and tell Dwight
112
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:57,326
so he can stop being
such a complete nipple?
113
00:04:58,240 --> 00:04:59,651
He's going
to be disappointed.
114
00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:02,371
Yes, he is.
And you know what?
115
00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:04,530
We cannot let that happen.
116
00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:11,883
Fax'?
Oh, yeah. Just...
117
00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:16,406
Watermelon teeth.
118
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:19,246
This isn't how I would
cheer up just anyone, but
119
00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:22,404
it's a girlfriend's job to
know her man, and I know Andy.
120
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:24,246
He is seriously juvenile.
121
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:25,731
COOL.
122
00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:28,921
He's like 40, though, right?
Oh, no.
123
00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:31,811
He couldn't be more than,
like, thirties, tops.
124
00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:34,082
Awesome. Have fun.
125
00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:38,324
Dunder Mifflin.
126
00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:40,040
Dunder Mifflin.
127
00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:41,606
Good. Sounds...
128
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:48,806
This is Dwight Schrute.
129
00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:50,325
Please hold for Ms. Black.
130
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,924
And welcome
back to BizWhiz. I'm Iris Black.
131
00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:58,204
On the line we
have Dunder Mifflin's
132
00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:00,487
Senior Sales Associate,
Dwight Schrute.
133
00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:02,642
Iris, thank you so
much for having me.
134
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,928
Help! My teeth are
all messed up in my mouth.
135
00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:11,206
Did you need something?
136
00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:13,203
Oh, I just need
your signature on this.
137
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:16,041
Okay-
138
00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:22,486
Thanks.
139
00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,964
Kevin, we're out of 1138 forms.
Did you order more?
140
00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:33,006
I did not.
141
00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:34,485
Well, I don't know
why I'm surprised.
142
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:36,927
Literally nothing you could
do could surprise me anymore.
143
00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:40,251
Oh, really, Angela?
That's interesting.
144
00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:43,247
Because I do think
that I could surprise you.
145
00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:47,330
I think that I could
surprise you all the...
146
00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:48,641
Ya!
147
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,445
I have to go
to the bathroom!
148
00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:52,171
That doesn't surprise me.
149
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:55,924
That actually wasn't the worst cover.
I'd say at least once a week
150
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,526
Kevin runs out of the room shouting
that he has to go to the bathroom.
151
00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:00,805
So the supply forms
are going to be...
152
00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:02,769
I have to go
to the bathroom!
153
00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:05,209
I have to go to the bathroom!
154
00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:18,770
Okay. Who wants to go for a super-fun
lunch with a super-fun girlfriend?
155
00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:21,771
Look, it's not that
I don't want...
156
00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:23,490
Okay. Come on. I got someone
to cover the phones.
157
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,928
I heard on the radio
about a new cupcake place
158
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,048
we could go
for dessert. Perfect.
159
00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:31,566
All I ever wanted to do
was sail the damn thing.
160
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:33,965
But Dad wouldn't let me.
He said,
161
00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:36,281
"You can't be a skipper
until you're a man."
162
00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:38,846
You know,
I'd reach for the wheel
163
00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:40,490
and he'd just
smack my hand away.
164
00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:43,401
Well, guess what?
Now I'm the man of the family,
165
00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:46,200
and we're selling
the damned thing.
166
00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:49,569
So I'm never going
to have the chance.
167
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:52,730
Well, when does the boat
leave, exactly? Tonight.
168
00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:56,562
Then screw lunch. Let's go for
a sunset sail. Yeah, right.
169
00:07:56,840 --> 00:08:00,606
It's in Stamford, Connecticut. We'd
have to leave, like, right now.
170
00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:03,248
Okay, well, then let's leave,
like, right now. Yeah, okay.
171
00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:06,411
Yeah, okay! Let's go! Seriously?
172
00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:08,967
Of course, seriously.
Get your coat on.
173
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,040
All right!
All right!
174
00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:12,531
Let's do it!
Let's do it!
175
00:08:15,200 --> 00:08:19,330
Iris, let me tell you. David Wallace
is the CEO, but he's not hands-on.
176
00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:22,882
So the day-to-day operations are
entirely under your command?
177
00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:26,642
"Entirely" is the perfect way
to describe it, Iris.
178
00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:30,367
Excuse me. I'm being told
by my sound engineer, Steve,
179
00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:33,444
that there is a clinking sound
coming from your end.
180
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:34,761
Does your shirt
have buttons?
181
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:36,525
Yes.
182
00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:38,803
I'm so sorry. We are
going to have to ask you
183
00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:40,644
to remove
the shirt altogether.
184
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:49,289
Now, then,
we were saying.
185
00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:51,687
- When my workers gather...
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
186
00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:54,360
I'm told we are still having
problems, Mr. Schrute.
187
00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:58,003
Your voice, it's sounding a little
feminine. That's impossible.
188
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:01,841
Are you by any chance wearing
pants with a metallic zipper?
189
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:10,568
The Senator is exhausted. This
campaign is wearing him out.
190
00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:14,367
It's a tough one. That man
he's up against is so dirty,
191
00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:17,489
and the Senator is just pushing
back as hard as he can.
192
00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:21,167
Hmm! Please stop!
What?
193
00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:23,931
Please stop.
194
00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:26,522
Anyways,
last night he was so tired,
195
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:29,246
he just wanted a little Mexican brought in.
196
00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:31,967
I can't!
It's too much!
197
00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:39,124
I'm in big trouble.
198
00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:41,681
Yeah, Oscar's in big trouble.
199
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:48,450
Okay, how is
my voice now?
200
00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:50,124
I'm getting the
all-clear from Steve.
201
00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:52,567
So, Mr. Schrute,
what is your response
202
00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:54,290
to the Consumer
Product Safety Commission
203
00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:57,125
that says Dunder Mifflin
paper is toxic?
204
00:09:58,240 --> 00:09:59,890
This is gotcha journalism.
But you know what?
205
00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:01,200
They're not gonna gotch me.
206
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:03,721
It's clearly not
an accounting mistake.
207
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:05,610
Oh, Kevin.
So...
208
00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:08,682
His gambling problem
must have resurfaced.
209
00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:10,965
I'm going to have
to send him home
210
00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:12,769
until I can do
aninvesfigafion.
211
00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:15,407
Well, you gotta do
what you gotta do, so...
212
00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:18,765
This is slander,
Ms. Black.
213
00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:23,921
Slander, I say. I dare you to produce
one credible source about this.
214
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,008
Well, as it happens,
we have with us
215
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:29,443
the foreman of your Upstate New
York paper mill, Sondra Mc...
216
00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:30,881
Sondra Mick!
217
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,809
Good afternoon, Iris.
It's a pleasure.
218
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,128
I'll get straight to the point.
ls your paper toxic?
219
00:10:36,560 --> 00:10:37,971
No. The paper's not toxic.
220
00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:39,041
Thank you, Sondra!
221
00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:42,801
Unless it's exposed to oxygen.
Then it becomes extremely toxic.
222
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,645
Do not listen to her! This
employee is obviously disgruntled!
223
00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:48,451
What the heck is going on?
The stock price is plummeting!
224
00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:50,330
Are you going to get
control of the message
225
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,050
or do I have to send in someone
who understands the media?
226
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:53,690
Get out of here, moron!
Okay!
227
00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:55,842
Excuse me, Mr. Dwight,
who are you talking to?
228
00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:59,083
Uh... No one. Did you just call Ms.
Mick a moron?
229
00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:01,731
No, everything's fine!
Are you insulting my guests?
230
00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:06,688
Okay, I will be
right there.
231
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:12,209
Hey, Oscar, what if I'm
getting a promotion?
232
00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:15,048
I hope that's it, Kevin.
Me, too.
233
00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:18,091
'Cause then I would
get my own office.
234
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:21,731
And I wouldn't screw up
your secret with Angela.
235
00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:24,767
I've been really
worried about that.
236
00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:33,964
Hi, Kevin. Look, I need
to talk to you about...
237
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:35,769
Hey, guys?
238
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,968
Excuse me. Um...
A quick word?
239
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:40,766
Please, just... Oscar, we're
in the middle of talking.
240
00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:42,808
I know. I'm so sorry.
Snack machine, on me.
241
00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:47,487
Well, that is nice.
Huh. Classy move.
242
00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:51,806
That's what I'm saying!
No, of course not!
243
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:55,040
What are you doing?
244
00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:57,930
Those figures I gave you?
245
00:11:58,400 --> 00:11:59,401
They're false.
246
00:11:59,560 --> 00:12:02,882
No.
I was mad at Kevin.
247
00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:06,362
We had a fight,
and I acted vindictively.
248
00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:09,208
So you set him up.
249
00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:10,281
Yes. He's innocent.
250
00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:15,162
I knew it. I knew it from the
beginning this was a possibility.
251
00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:17,403
What are you talking about?
I just did this now.
252
00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:18,481
Oh, no.
253
00:12:18,560 --> 00:12:21,962
A few years ago, when I was on the
jury, the Scranton Strangler?
254
00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:23,166
Sure.
255
00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:24,885
I always thought he
might have been set up,
256
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:26,325
but I felt
pressured to convict.
257
00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:27,971
Well, that's
got to be tough.
258
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:30,726
Tough? I put an innocent
man on death row.
259
00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:34,320
The fallout from this morning's
revelation continues to mount.
260
00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:36,647
Since Mr. Dwight
Schrute began speaking,
261
00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:39,924
Dunder Mifflin
share prices fell 73%.
262
00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:42,088
Mr. Schrute,
shareholders demand
263
00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:44,049
accountability from
corporate leadership.
264
00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:46,329
Can we announce your
resignation at this time?
265
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:49,449
My resignation? What are you talking about?
No! I'm just following orders!
266
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:52,040
Listen, the person responsible
for this catastrophe
267
00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:54,845
is the CEO and Chairman,
David Wallace!
268
00:12:56,680 --> 00:12:58,489
That's yours? ANDY: That's
the family boat, right there.
269
00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:00,050
0h, my gosh, Andy!
270
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:02,205
This is enormous!
Right?
271
00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:06,080
I thought it was going to be tiny!
Oh, my gosh, it's beautiful.
272
00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:08,727
So this is how your
family came to America.
273
00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:11,882
Move.
Sorry?
274
00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:13,964
I'm trying to rig a boat here.
I don't know how to do that
275
00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:15,201
when you're
standing in the way.
276
00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:17,328
Sure. I'm not...
I didn't know...
277
00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:20,171
I'm not a ghost, so I can't
walk through people.
278
00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:22,843
Okay?
Okay! He was salty.
279
00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:24,684
He is, a little bit.
280
00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:27,329
How you doing, old buddy?
Missed you.
281
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:28,680
What does that one do?
282
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:30,040
This raises the mainsail.
283
00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:31,765
That was my job
when we went sailing.
284
00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:33,046
I wish I had seen you do it.
285
00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:35,085
Really?
Yeah!
286
00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:39,331
Up she goes!
Don't do that.
287
00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:42,005
Don't do that.
Oh, it's okay.
288
00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:43,411
My girlfriend and I
were actually gonna
289
00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:44,891
take her for
a little spin and a picnic
290
00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:46,121
before you guys
head out tonight.
291
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:48,083
You know what? Get some dinner, on me...
No. Nope.
292
00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:50,130
Can't do that.
Got it.
293
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:52,803
You know what?
Then we'll just take it
294
00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:54,644
for a quick little
spin around the harbor.
295
00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:56,966
We've already
started boarding.
296
00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:59,441
No one's insured to rig or
operate now, except us.
297
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:01,364
You know what?
Chill, okay?
298
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:04,325
I own the boat.
I'm not going to sue myself.
299
00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:05,931
All right? So just...
300
00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:09,209
Wow! I can smack you all
day if you keep touching
301
00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:10,611
what you're not
supposed to touch.
302
00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:13,645
Okay, fine.
Okay?
303
00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:15,046
Yeah. Fine.
Good stuff.
304
00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:16,884
Good stuff! Great stuff.
Great.
305
00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:22,727
Damn it!
Screw you, Dad!
306
00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:23,961
Huh.
307
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:29,689
Well, we're doing it. We're finally
having a picnic on the boat!
308
00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:33,926
I've had a thousand
picnics on this boat.
309
00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:36,331
The point was
for me to sail it.
310
00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:40,964
Andy, you never had to
sail the boat to be a man.
311
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:43,564
Fine, but I could have.
312
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:47,965
As long as we're on this boat, as far
as I'm concerned, you're the captain.
313
00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:50,247
I am the captain.
Yeah.
314
00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:51,766
Right?
Yeah!
315
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:55,970
I'm the captain.
316
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,765
Hey, Charm School!
What?
317
00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:05,806
I'm taking over from here.
Nice!
318
00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:10,408
Okay, I hate to ruin
this moment, or breakdown,
319
00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:13,086
but you already signed the papers.
So if you want your boat back,
320
00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:15,481
you can pick it up there
in the Bahamas in 10 days.
321
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:17,887
Yeah, I know, because I'm
sailing it there. Okay, no.
322
00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:20,361
I already said, you're not
getting back your deposit.
323
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:21,851
Fine. Keep it.
324
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,241
Just leave the supplies,
I already paid for those.
325
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,328
How much for that
cool fisherman's sweater?
326
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,571
For those just joining us,
terror in Greenwich,
327
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:34,564
where the police have
surrounded the house
328
00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:36,881
of Dunder Mifflin
CEO David Wallace.
329
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:39,048
Wallace is said
to be despondent
330
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:41,168
over the company's stock
plummet,
331
00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:43,209
and has taken
a mailman hostage.
332
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:47,280
On the line we have
Chief of Greenwich Police
333
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:51,202
Mr. Bill Jackson. Good afternoon.
334
00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:53,811
Please, sir,
spare him!
335
00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:54,961
Please!
336
00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:57,771
Uh, this Wallace guy's
looking at hard time,
337
00:15:57,960 --> 00:15:59,530
and we only know
this because of
338
00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:01,409
what Dwight
Snoot said on record.
339
00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:04,564
Okay, everyone! Everyone hold on!
I've got a solution.
340
00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:08,006
I know Wallace's phone number!
Everyone hold, I'll conference him in!
341
00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:11,164
Oh, no, Mr. Schrute, there's really
no need to, um, involve Mr. Wallace.
342
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:14,881
Do you even know what you're doing?
Yeah.
343
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:18,010
Yeah, I know how to hoist the mainsail.
I know how to...
344
00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:22,250
These buttons control
the bilge pumps and stuff.
345
00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:25,369
I also know where
the booze stash is. Hello!
346
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:28,206
Walt?
347
00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:31,686
Oh, God! Thank
goodness you're here.
348
00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:34,247
I was having
a little trouble
349
00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:37,410
with this door, uh, yesterday.
I, uh...
350
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:41,050
I think it was yesterday.
351
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:42,566
I thought you were in rehab.
352
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:46,566
Yeah, I just, uh... I figured I'd get
that first relapse out of the way.
353
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:50,961
God, what's happened to our family?
Everything is so messed up.
354
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:54,286
How did you even know I was in here?
I didn't.
355
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,482
I just came to say
goodbye to the boat,
356
00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:58,924
but I've decided
to sail it to Bermuda.
357
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:00,445
Bahamas, Andy.
358
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,646
Same thing.
359
00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:03,321
I need a crew.
360
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:05,126
You should be my crew!
361
00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:08,325
Three weeks, open ocean, no booze.
You need this.
362
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:12,041
- I need it. We need this. Serious bro time.
- Come on.
363
00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:14,130
Hello?
David, is that you?
364
00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:16,721
Dwight? Oh, thank God!
Oh, thank God!
365
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:18,450
Are you okay?
ls everyone okay?
366
00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:20,881
Yeah. Are you okay?
I'm okay.
367
00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:24,522
I just want you to know
that I believe in you.
368
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:29,642
I really do, and I believe in your
ability to make the right choices.
369
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:33,323
- I always have, David.
- Well, thanks, Dwight.
370
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:34,845
You're welcome, sir.
371
00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:37,887
But David,
listen to me carefully.
372
00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:42,006
I'm going to need you
to let the mailman go, okay?
373
00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:43,924
Walk out of the house...
What?
374
00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:45,690
...with your hands
on top of your head.
375
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:47,649
Everything is
going to be fine.
376
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:51,209
Dunder Mifflin will be in good
hands while you're away in prison.
377
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:53,245
Okay. Dwight?
I'm going to ask you
378
00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:55,641
to not call me on my
cell anymore. Gotta go.
379
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:01,931
Wait a minute.
380
00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:04,962
You guys? You heard?
381
00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:07,522
Schrute! Schrute!
Schrute! Schrute!
382
00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:10,086
Sch rute! Sch rute!
Sch rute! Sch rute!
383
00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:11,207
Sch rute! Sch rute!
384
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:13,448
Overall, I'd say my
first radio interview
385
00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:15,090
went pretty much
the way I expected.
386
00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:19,923
Well, Oscar, I did not
get the promotion.
387
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,526
He just wanted to update
my personal information.
388
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:24,370
Well, I'm sorry, Kevin.
389
00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:28,405
Why on Earth would you think
you were getting a promotion?
390
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:30,210
You know what,
Angela? I...
391
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:32,408
Oh, my God!
392
00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:34,648
Honey!
What are you doing here?
393
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:36,290
Oh, I just had
an intuition
394
00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:39,409
that someone I love needed a
little of my attention today.
395
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,129
Oscar!
Looking very healthy.
396
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:44,649
Getting lots
of vigorous exercise?
397
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:46,882
Oh, no.
398
00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:51,805
Oscar? What is going on? What was that?
399
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,962
What was that? I'm sorry. I
didn't mean any offense.
400
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:55,121
I was just
trying to be friendly.
401
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:56,486
You know what?
I'm sorry.
402
00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:59,524
I overreacted
because I'm stressed out.
403
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,289
Why am I stressed out?
Who's not stressed out?
404
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,403
Who's not stressed out?
Come on, Oscar.
405
00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:08,129
We're not just going to sit
here and ignore the obvious.
406
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:11,763
Senator Lipton has a big
election next week.
407
00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:14,248
We all need to
give him our support!
408
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:19,164
Thank you. Thank you.
Thanks, everybody.
409
00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:21,171
This is really cool.
410
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:25,603
USA! USA!
411
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:30,404
I have to say, I'm impressed
with Kevin. Uh...
412
00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:34,487
He showed a lot
of self-control.
413
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:38,084
I totally forgot about
the affair for a minute.
414
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:44,761
Oscar is having
sex with the Senator
415
00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:47,525
and Angela
doesn't even know.
416
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:52,924
Her life is a complete sham!
417
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:58,210
All right, guys, cast us off.
Walt! All aboard!
418
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:03,288
Erin, this is because of you. Do you
realize that? You're the best ever!
419
00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:05,968
Oh, you know,
just being a good girlfriend.
420
00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:08,964
Good? Come on!
Above and beyond!
421
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:11,805
World's greatest!
You did this!
422
00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:14,566
Damn it, I'm haPPY!
423
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:17,405
Yes, lam very
pleased I could help Andy.
424
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:19,926
Would I have gone
with him if he'd asked me?
425
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:23,323
On his sailboat cruise
to the Caribbean? Yes.
426
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:26,245
I think that would have been
really fun and romantic.
427
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:28,011
I'll see you in three weeks!
Okay!
428
00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:30,930
Hey, bro! It was here all along!
No way!
429
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:32,166
Way!
430
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:36,481
Erin, I gotta go!
Them's my chords!
431
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:45,767
Hey! She's back.
432
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:48,288
Thanks for covering the phones.
Yeah, no problem.
433
00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:49,771
How was it?
Fine.
434
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,923
Hey, some buddies and I
are going to Poor Richard's
435
00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,411
for beers and pool.
You want to come?
436
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,764
I can't promise
you too much, but
437
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:03,888
you might get to meet
my friend Flipper.
438
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:05,565
Does he have a flipper?
439
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:08,844
Oh. Nope. It's not that.
He, uh...
440
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,921
He flipped a table one time
when he was drunk.
441
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:13,845
He sounds like an idiot.
442
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:16,131
Yeah, he is.
443
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,126
Okay-
444
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:20,881
Okay!
445
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:22,883
Thanks.
Yeah!
34426
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