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1
00:00:01,240 --> 00:00:04,528
This year I decided to really
get into the spirit of Halloween.
2
00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:16,126
It may have been the costliest
decision I've ever made.
3
00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:19,881
My greased-up head went into
the pumpkin no problem, but...
4
00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:21,041
it won't budge!
5
00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:22,485
I can't get it out.
6
00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:24,527
Try again.
7
00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:26,728
I mean, I could try
destroying the pumpkin.
8
00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:27,847
No! No! No!
9
00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:29,445
But as Jim and I discovered...
10
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:31,281
No!
11
00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:36,001
Any blow to the pumpkin itself
could prove fatal to me.
12
00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:37,809
At first, I drove
myself crazy thinking
13
00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:40,167
about the things I should've
done differently. Yes, Dwight.
14
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,641
I never should've
played that joke on Erin.
15
00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:44,484
I never should
have hollowed out
16
00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:46,324
this damned pumpkin
in the first place.
17
00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:49,931
But then I realized
I was being silly.
18
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:54,369
I mean, the pumpkin should rot off
of my head in a month or two.
19
00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:55,487
Right?
20
00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:07,286
', 9W5-
Hey!
21
00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:08,361
Pam, what are you?
22
00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:09,646
I'm Dr. Cinderella.
23
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,445
Cece's really
into princesses now,
24
00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:13,568
so we decided to turn them into
positive female role models.
25
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:15,324
I'm an oncologist.
26
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,240
And you are a dog.
27
00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:19,405
I'm a PUPPY-
28
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,209
Dang it, I was
worried that would happen.
29
00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:22,486
It's okay.
30
00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:23,846
Jim, you're not
dressed up at all.
31
00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:26,529
Sure I am. lam
32
00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:29,410
one of the
Men in Black guys.
33
00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:30,447
Can I have
your sunglasses?
34
00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:32,249
Jim, come on. I thought
we were past this.
35
00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:34,284
So the sports
marketing business
36
00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:36,601
that Jim told everyone
about except for me...
37
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,523
There's a big
investment lunch today,
38
00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:40,569
so I decided to
skip the costume.
39
00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:44,690
Unless he has a secret costume that
he told everyone about except for me.
40
00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:46,171
Getting a lot of mileage
out of this, aren't you?
41
00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,481
Yeah, well, get
used to it, bud.
42
00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:51,601
Jitterbug.
43
00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:54,447
You guys look great!
44
00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:57,171
Just a reminder, the party
is right after lunch,
45
00:01:57,240 --> 00:01:59,846
so make sure you get all your work
done before that or throw it out.
46
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:01,160
Any questions?
47
00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:04,570
The Senator will
be joining us later.
48
00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:06,041
Not a question.
49
00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,247
No, it wasn't.
50
00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:09,891
Excellent. That reminds me,
has anyone seen treble?
51
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:14,726
Anyone? I could have sworn
I saw some treble somewhere.
52
00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:19,123
Ladies and gentlemen,
Here Comes Treble!
53
00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:23,803
I'm a man without conviction
54
00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:28,488
You come and go
You come and go
55
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:33,325
Karma, karma, karma, karma,
karma chameleon
56
00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:38,770
You come and go
You come and go
57
00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:42,841
Loving would be easy if your
colors were like my dreams
58
00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:48,524
Red, gold, and green
Red, gold, and green
59
00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:49,601
Karma, come on!
60
00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:50,681
Ah!
61
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:51,921
So good.
62
00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:56,926
What lab did these
little clones escape from?
63
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,684
My Cornell
a cappella group.
64
00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:00,285
You were in an a
cappella group?
65
00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:01,885
You went to Cornell?
66
00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:04,201
Yeah! Okay.
67
00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:06,329
But you have no
idea how lucky you are,
68
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:10,007
because HCT is doing a set
at our Halloween party.
69
00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:13,005
Ugh. I don't want to sit through
a whole concert of that.
70
00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:14,923
I do! I love the
boss' interests.
71
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,161
Attaboy, Clark.
72
00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:18,206
Where you boys staying?
73
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:20,726
How does it work in the rooms?
You get a privacy partition?
74
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:23,406
No. No, no, no.
Stay away.
75
00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:25,250
You know what
I just realized?
76
00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:30,929
They might actually call me up to
solo on George Michael's Faith.
77
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,321
That was one of
my signature songs.
78
00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:37,490
Oh, man.
That would be insane.
79
00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:39,324
I'm so not prepared.
80
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:43,330
Are you sure you're okay with
me putting in this much money?
81
00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:44,970
Yeah. I mean, listen,
82
00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:46,883
if we're going to do this thing,
then we should do it right.
83
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,610
You're the best.
84
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:52,521
I kind of am. It's crazy.
85
00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:54,563
- Okay, I'll see you in a little bit.
- Okay.
86
00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:55,766
Jim, look, I'm eating you.
87
00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:57,046
Shut up.
88
00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:00,442
Hey, Erin, look.
89
00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:02,602
These are Nerds.
I'm eating Jims.
90
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,523
Must eat more Jims!
91
00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:11,044
Stop it! Stop it!
I'm spilling Jims!
92
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:13,726
Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
Stop it! Stop it!
93
00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:26,922
Hello, little pill.
94
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,684
What do you do?
95
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:32,486
Dumatril is licensed
to treat anxiety symptoms
96
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:36,121
such as panic attacks,
excessive worrying and fear.
97
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:37,611
Translation?
98
00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:40,363
There's a madman
in our midst.
99
00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:43,050
Okay, I give up.
What are you?
100
00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:44,764
I'm sexy Toby.
101
00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:48,049
Gross! I love it.
102
00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:50,287
Dumaflm
103
00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:54,168
Something wrong, Dwight?
104
00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:55,767
Dumaflfl
105
00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:56,841
Yes?
106
00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:59,526
This is a pill I
found here in the office.
107
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:02,171
But it's not for worms or
eczema, like any normal pill.
108
00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:04,806
It's not for any
disorder of the body.
109
00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:06,882
It's for
a disorder of the mind.
110
00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:09,401
The mind is part
of the body.
111
00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:12,370
Okay, this is a pill
that combats insanity.
112
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:16,687
Okay? Whoever is taking
it is not only insane,
113
00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:18,808
they are now off their meds.
114
00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:21,002
Dwight, our co-workers'
heafihissues
115
00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:22,286
are really none
of our business.
116
00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:24,806
Why are you trying so hard
to bury this thing, huh?
117
00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:27,446
What's going on, Nellie?
Talk to me. Hmm?
118
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:32,009
It's my pill. I have an anxiety
issue, and I'm not ashamed of that,
119
00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:36,051
but I'm not loving the idea of
Dwight having that information.
120
00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:40,091
I once saw him yell at
Phyllis for sneezing wrong.
121
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:43,127
Yeah, you're right. This man
needs to be apprehended.
122
00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:45,123
I'll get my
apprehension kit.
123
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:49,250
Dudes! What's up?
124
00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:54,082
I know it's pathetic to relive your
college years, but cut me some slack,
125
00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:58,085
okay, because I was a freaking
rock star in college.
126
00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:01,926
When I joined Here Comes Treble,
that's when I became somebody.
127
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:07,723
When I got the nickname Boner
Champ, that is when I became me.
128
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:11,044
You didn't come here
to sit in a room, right?
129
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:12,963
You came here for some
intergenerational bro time!
130
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,804
Well, now's your
chance! I'm here!
131
00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:16,644
You got Q's,
I got A's.
132
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:21,642
Did you say
you've got AIDS?
133
00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:25,971
No, I don't have AIDS. That's
not what I said. Next question.
134
00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:32,609
You don't have any questions
about the old days?
135
00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:39,487
You at least want to know
why they call me Boner Champ?
136
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,526
I thought Broccoli Rob
was the Boner Champ.
137
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,161
I'm sorry. What?
138
00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:52,367
I just thought Broccoli Rob
was the Boner Champ.
139
00:06:57,400 --> 00:06:59,767
Broccoli Rob was
Broccoli Rob.
140
00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:03,289
Andy Bernard is
the Boner Champ.
141
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:13,245
I didn't realize that everybody
here dresses up every year.
142
00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:14,685
Me neither.
143
00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:17,768
It's Halloween.
144
00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:20,366
That is really,
really good timing.
145
00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:22,967
I was just talking to
some of the actives,
146
00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:25,287
and they think that
you're Boner Champ.
147
00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:28,011
I'm so sorry. I don't know
how that could've happened.
148
00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:30,564
Did you maybe tell
them that? Or...
149
00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:33,564
I just started
yapping about the old days,
150
00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:36,644
and I guess the wine
coolers were flowing,
151
00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:38,210
and you know, somehow
things just got hinky.
152
00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:40,649
Could you call them
and just tell them the truth?
153
00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:42,370
Because I know
it's really stupid,
154
00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:45,131
but it's also really,
really, really important.
155
00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:47,205
Will do.
156
00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:49,207
I love you, Andy.
157
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:50,481
Love you too.
158
00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:53,363
So the workspace
looks awesome.
159
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:54,930
And the graphic
designer is gonna be
160
00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:56,610
sending us in some of
the logo treatments.
161
00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:57,727
Can't wait to see them.
162
00:07:57,800 --> 00:07:59,325
You guys rock.
163
00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:01,491
Rocking.
164
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:04,401
There you go.
165
00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:07,490
I've also been running the
numbers, and between our backers
166
00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:10,530
and our own investments, we're looking
great for a full year on this.
167
00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:13,607
Is it too late to get in?
168
00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:15,927
Jim, I explained everything,
so you're all set.
169
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,606
Oh, no, I actually talked to my
wife, and we'd really like to,
170
00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:21,251
you know, invest, get
in on the ground floor.
171
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,841
Wow, well, what level of investment
were you thinking about?
172
00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:28,248
We were thinking somewhere
between $5,000, $10,000.
173
00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:33,448
I can do the full $10,000.
We should just... All in.
174
00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:34,681
All right,
welcome aboard.
175
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:36,364
All right.
Awesome, cool.
176
00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:42,290
Hey, Darryl. I'm just here to smear
some peanut butter on my forehead.
177
00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:45,041
You know,
to protect his brain
178
00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:47,441
from the nanobots that the government
put in the air conditioning.
179
00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:51,647
That makes
sense to you, right?
180
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,410
Or does it sound crazy?
181
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:03,122
I can't really picture it.
Can you get it on there?
182
00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:05,001
Yeah.
183
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,763
Maybe get the cheeks.
184
00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:11,205
So this makes sense then?
Or is it crazy?
185
00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:14,130
Get under your chin
first, yeah, yeah.
186
00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:16,049
Is that where the
nanobots like to come in?
187
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:17,167
Get all the way up
to your lip, yeah.
188
00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:18,281
Okay-
189
00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:19,691
Is that how they
like to get in?
190
00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:22,288
Yeah. That's crazy.
191
00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:28,448
I don't know.
I just don't know.
192
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,445
Yo! Bad boys
of a cappella!
193
00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:32,050
Hey.
194
00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:35,488
Heard any good stories lately
or new twists on old stories?
195
00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:38,971
Yeah, I got a call
from Broccoli Rob.
196
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:41,327
I guess you really
are the Boner Champ.
197
00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:42,887
Did he tell you
how I got the name?
198
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,081
No.
199
00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:49,166
Spring Sing '95, we got
completely ripped on Bud Drys,
200
00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:51,765
I had sex with a snowman.
201
00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,042
I just went
at that thing.
202
00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:57,565
The cold would've
stopped most people,
203
00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,529
but I stayed
locked in, you know?
204
00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:02,686
I took the face off. Just
seemed easier that way.
205
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:07,090
And I told Phyllis not to put
it out, but she insisted.
206
00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:09,049
So, anyway, hi.
207
00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:11,885
Oscar, you remember
my husband, the Senator.
208
00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:14,280
Senator Lipton.
Nice to see you.
209
00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:15,686
Nice to see you, Oscar.
210
00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:18,326
Wait a second.
Who designed this spread?
211
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,289
The sweets and savories
are all mixed together.
212
00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:21,361
This is mayhem.
213
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:23,647
So, Oscar, you're
a dinosaur?
214
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:25,324
Actually, I'm the
electoral college.
215
00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:27,887
Ouch. Right on target.
216
00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:31,564
You know what? This is outrageous.
I have to find Phyllis.
217
00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:32,971
You two talk, okay?
Sorry, babe.
218
00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:34,491
Okay.
219
00:10:34,560 --> 00:10:35,641
Phyllis!
220
00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:38,682
God, it's just so
good to see you.
221
00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:44,086
All having this wonderful
Halloween gathering.
222
00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:45,207
Excuse me, is that punch?
223
00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:48,566
They didn't know
about the snowman story.
224
00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:50,847
And when I told them,
they were not impressed.
225
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,289
What is with these turkeys?
Right?
226
00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:55,931
Hey. You better
do Faith. You get me?
227
00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:58,321
We don't know it.
228
00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:01,927
So learn it. You all go to Cornell.
You're, like, eight Rain Men.
229
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,001
Just learn the fricking song.
230
00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,287
Look, I know it was big
with the old guys, but...
231
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:07,442
Butts are for pooping.
232
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:11,165
Okay, make it work. You have
to, or Andy will flip out.
233
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:13,849
And make it
a surprise, please.
234
00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:18,684
This isn't stupid.
235
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,241
What?
236
00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:32,605
Hey-
Hey-
237
00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:34,281
Hey, Toby.
238
00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:39,521
Are you me?
239
00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:40,880
Yeah.
240
00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:43,566
Oh, my goodness,
look at this.
241
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:44,960
Yeah.
242
00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:48,846
Look at me.
243
00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:50,160
Being you.
I know! Look at you.
244
00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:53,281
It's funny, right?
245
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:11,761
All right, all right,
just stay focused on the pill.
246
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,526
Okay, look. Dwight, let's
just call this thing off.
247
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:18,524
I mean, it's just an anxiety pill.
Lots of people have anxiety.
248
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,682
You think I don't have anxiety?
I have anxiety all the time!
249
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:23,041
Every waking moment of my
life is sheer torture!
250
00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:25,885
I have land disputes to settle,
and idiot cousins to protect,
251
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:27,928
and ne'er-do-well
siblings to take care of.
252
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,765
And I don't need some stupid
pill to get me through all this.
253
00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:32,205
Cool, free upper.
254
00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:34,760
Ah-ha! The jig is up,
PSYChOpathl
255
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:36,490
Yeah!
What the hell?
256
00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:37,846
Don't dog catch me!
257
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,240
Gotcha! Yeah!
258
00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:40,805
Let's see you
get out of this web.
259
00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:42,929
The pill is mine!
What the...
260
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,411
What?
Get her out.
261
00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:47,164
Stop banging my head!
262
00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:56,286
Dwight, look! It's just
a pill, all right?
263
00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:59,603
It's for anxiety. I take it every
day, and it makes me feel better.
264
00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:03,769
And maybe it
could help you too.
265
00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:08,441
Hey! How'd it go?
Hey!
266
00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:10,170
Man, it was great.
They were great.
267
00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:11,446
Did you end up investing?
268
00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:13,484
I did, yeah.
How much?
269
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:14,561
Uh...
270
00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:17,763
By the end, I guess
it was about 10.
271
00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:21,206
About 10? Ten. it
was the full 10.
272
00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:23,844
Wow.
Yeah.
273
00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:25,845
Wow.
Yeah.
274
00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:27,490
You know, it's a good thing
we talked about it, though,
275
00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:29,164
because we had to.
Yeah, yeah. I know.
276
00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:30,685
Yeah.
277
00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:33,650
So did everybody end up
investing $10,000?
278
00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:35,882
Um... Man, I don't
actually know.
279
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,161
What?
280
00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:38,730
They weren't really talking
that much about money.
281
00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:41,565
They just said, "We're good
with investing," and then I...
282
00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:43,529
Ladies and gentlemen.
283
00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:46,088
Here Comes Treble.
284
00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:49,451
They said they were
done with the investing,
285
00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:51,085
and then you
volunteered $10,000?
286
00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:54,524
No, lhadto. I needed to look
like a team player, Pam.
287
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,841
So you invested $10,000
to look like a team player?
288
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:58,524
You weren't there.
It was very clear
289
00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:00,210
that $10,000 is
what we had to do.
290
00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:01,645
We'll talk about it later.
291
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:03,125
No, I want to talk
about it now!
292
00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:06,607
Jim, that was most
of our savings.
293
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:13,208
And I'll be better
when I'm older
294
00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:19,970
I'll be the greatest fan
of your life
295
00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:21,929
Wait.
Wait, hold on.
296
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,604
Where's the band?
297
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:25,648
'Cause there's no way you
guys are making this magic
298
00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:26,761
with just your mouths!
299
00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:27,881
That's what she said.
300
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,128
Why, am I overdoing it?
301
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,843
No. No.
302
00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:35,250
We said some.
We said some.
303
00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:36,930
We'll talk
about it later.
304
00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:38,930
We said "part.".
305
00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:46,201
And I'll be
your crying shoulder
306
00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:50,885
Get your car washed today
307
00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:52,644
Ba-da-bah
308
00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:54,484
Fill up and you don't
have to pay
309
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:55,846
Ba-da-bah
310
00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:58,446
Come on and give us a play
311
00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:00,045
Get a wash
Right away
312
00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:01,326
Car wash, yeah!
313
00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:03,130
Yes!
Oh, man.
314
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:04,645
That's how you do that!
315
00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:06,285
Thank you.
316
00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:09,209
Show some pride.
This is crap.
317
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:11,049
I agree. Yes, crap.
318
00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:12,565
Confinue.
319
00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:14,921
Now, folks, by
special request,
320
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,327
we're going to take
it a little old school.
321
00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:20,803
There is a former
Trebler in this room.
322
00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:22,969
Who?
It's Mr. Andy Bernard.
323
00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:31,490
No, do not sing that.
Do not... Oh, man.
324
00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:34,689
He reminded us today
of how much he means to us,
325
00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:37,331
and we certainly seem
to mean a lot to him.
326
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:40,006
So, without any further ado,
here's an old Treble classic.
327
00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:47,161
Dank, dank, dank, dank
dank, dank, dank, dank, dank
328
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:49,481
Well, I guess
it would be nice
329
00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:51,767
If I could touch your body
330
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:56,323
I know not everybody
Has got a body like you
331
00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:58,364
Whoa! Whoa!
332
00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:02,161
What the hell is
Broccoli Rob doing here?
333
00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:04,004
She said you
wanted to hear Faith.
334
00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:05,923
That's Broccoli
Rob's signature song.
335
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,048
Oh, but I need
some time off...
336
00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:10,487
That's my signature song.
337
00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:11,971
I really didn't
know that, man.
338
00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:13,644
I just thought you
wanted to hear it.
339
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:16,004
Russell, I'm dressed
like George Michael.
340
00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:19,128
Ithoughtyou were Adam Lambert.
341
00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:21,808
The more I hear about
all this a cappella drama,
342
00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:25,123
the more I think
it's kind of pathetic.
343
00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:27,487
But when you're with someone,
you put up with the stuff
344
00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:31,042
that makes you lose respect
for them, and that is love.
345
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,281
Are you okay?
346
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:34,526
He's still mad.
347
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:37,604
Okay.
Shut up, Broccoli!
348
00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:40,650
Champ, I feel awful
about this whole thing.
349
00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:41,687
Russell called me up,
350
00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:45,731
and they said they needed 20
cc's of George Michael, stat.
351
00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:49,361
So, just wham! I sprang into action.
You know me.
352
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:52,364
I assumed you wanted to hear
me do your signature number.
353
00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:55,649
You thought I wanted to sit in the
audience like some slutty Treb rat?
354
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:58,527
A man's signature solo
is his for life, okay?
355
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:00,090
That's group policy,
and you know it.
356
00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:03,050
Look, it's not my fault
I still live near campus.
357
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:06,567
And it's my duty as an alum to
be friendly to the young guys,
358
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,689
and stop in two,
three times a week.
359
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:11,091
Just don't do
the song anymore.
360
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:13,761
I tell you what. We'll
have a sing-off for it.
361
00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:15,763
You pick 12
alums from any year
362
00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:17,803
to back you up,
and I'll do the same.
363
00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:21,043
And I'm so confident that I'll
win, I won't even warm up.
364
00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:23,009
Fine, go ahead,
thrash your pipes.
365
00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:25,082
My pipes are primo, Champ!
366
00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:28,482
Why don't you ask Trey
Anastasio about my pipes?
367
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,486
I knew you would go there,
you son of a bitch!
368
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:36,043
He said, and I quote, "Hey, Rob,
nice pipes-" That happened!
369
00:17:36,120 --> 00:17:38,043
Okay. Fine, yeah.
That's real!
370
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:39,531
That's one guy's opinion.
That'll never change!
371
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:40,567
Okay!
Okay!
372
00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:44,087
Doesn't mean you're the
best singer ever. Dick!
373
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:45,650
I thought that concert
was pretty great.
374
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:49,520
Oh, yeah, I decided
acapelco music is awesome.
375
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:51,568
They lost me when
they sang Monster Mash.
376
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:54,450
That song obviously
glorifies the occult.
377
00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:57,364
Angela, it's Halloween.
You have to sing Monster Mash.
378
00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:00,081
You have to, Jim?
You literally have to?
379
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:02,561
Uh...
380
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:06,770
No, I'm just... I'm saying what would
happen if they didn't sing it?
381
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:09,730
Would they go to jail?
Would they be shot?
382
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:12,528
Okay. We'll
just forget it.
383
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:14,204
No, no! I'm interested.
384
00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:17,927
I mean, I think everybody's interested
in why they have to sing it.
385
00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:19,401
Because it is Halloween.
386
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:20,720
So if you're going
to sing a concert,
387
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:22,171
it's a good idea to
throw that one in.
388
00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:24,925
Yeah, yeah. No, no, it's a
good idea to brush your teeth,
389
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:29,967
but you have to, um, feed your children.
Send them to school.
390
00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:31,644
You know,
all things you can't do
391
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:33,961
if you just keep
singing Monster Mash.
392
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:40,002
It turns out Pam really,
really hates Monster Mash.
393
00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:44,210
I mean, like, never bring
that song up in front of her.
394
00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:49,926
Even though Jim was making great
points, like, in favor of the song,
395
00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:55,128
Pam was like, "No!
Hate it! Stupid!"
396
00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:57,769
This is all so
silly, right?
397
00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:01,444
What am I going to do,
move back to Cornell?
398
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,005
Yeah.
399
00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:05,331
I mean, what
if we did that?
400
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:09,245
Like, we gotjobs, and we
were happy all the time?
401
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:11,561
Oh. Well, Andy, we're
not moving to Cornell.
402
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:15,449
Duh, I know. That would be insane.
Yeah.
403
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:17,841
It could totally
work, though.
404
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:20,082
I don't know
why we wouldn't.
405
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,491
Oh, my God,
are we doing this?
406
00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:25,684
Oy. Andy,
what is going on?
407
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:29,368
If I am not Boner Champ,
408
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,570
I don't know who I am.
409
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:36,849
Well, you know, maybe
you're the wise old guy
410
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:41,960
that the new B-O-N-E-R
Champ looks up to.
411
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:43,844
You know, you could just...
Make a donation.
412
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:46,207
Well, I was going
to say, be a mentor.
413
00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:47,441
Yes.
414
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:49,680
I'm going to
make a donation.
415
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,049
And it just so
happens I know someone
416
00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:55,487
who works at the Bernard
Family Foundation.
417
00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:56,561
Her name is Mom.
418
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,001
Oh.
419
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:05,045
I want some of those pills.
420
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:07,248
Oh.
Well, good for you.
421
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:08,606
I mean, you'll need
a prescription.
422
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:10,364
Oh, no, no,
they're not for me.
423
00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:12,283
They're for my cousin, Mose.
424
00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:15,523
He's just having a tough
time, being wifeless,
425
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:19,161
and a high-pressure job,
and his crazy cousin Mose.
426
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:20,327
Other cousin Mose.
Mmm.
427
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:21,527
Got it.
428
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:25,810
Well, you tell Mose
that he's a good man,
429
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:27,291
and I hope
he feels better.
430
00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:31,610
Which one?
431
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:33,045
Mose, or the real Mose?
432
00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:34,406
The real Mose.
433
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:37,561
He says thank you.
434
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:43,930
Mom? I had this
really charitable idea
435
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,924
to set up a scholarship for
a cappella kids at Cornell,
436
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,446
and just need to wire
some money over there.
437
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:51,087
What?
438
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:58,687
Far above the busy humming
of the bustling town
439
00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:02,329
Reared against
the arch of heaven
440
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:03,481
What's wrong?
441
00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:04,925
Looks she proudly down
442
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:06,286
My parents are broke.
443
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:11,367
Lift the chorus,
speed it onward
444
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:15,286
Loud her praises tell
445
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:19,763
Hail to thee,
our alma mater
446
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:24,727
Hail, all hall, Cornell!
33077
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