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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,520 --> 00:00:03,682 All right, everybody, great season of softball. 2 00:00:03,760 --> 00:00:05,125 I'm super proud of you guys, 3 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:07,043 and I think you're going to like this 4 00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:08,929 little highlight reel that I've put together. 5 00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:11,324 GROUP". Dunder Mifflin! 6 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:12,926 ANDY". Andy Bernard presents, 7 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,287 "Summer Softball Epic Fails!" 8 00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:17,441 Fail. 9 00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:20,241 Fail! That's me! 10 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:22,965 Fail. Is this like a blooper reel? 11 00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:25,566 A blooper reel? What is this, 2005? 12 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:28,247 Do I look like Bob Saget? Fail! 13 00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:31,081 Who's this guy? 14 00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:33,530 ♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow. 15 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:35,205 Look at him dance! 16 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:36,884 Fail! Fail. 17 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:38,610 I deserved that. 18 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:40,045 Do-dee-do-dee-do 19 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:42,360 That was a triple. 20 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:45,250 Can't take the fail? Get out of the fail video! 21 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:46,401 My pleasure. 22 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:50,326 Hi, I'm Pete! Puberty is such a drag, man. 23 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:54,725 And I'm Clark, I like to eat toilet paper. We fail! 24 00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:58,644 I'd like to take a solemn moment to remember 25 00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:00,245 Jerry in the warehouse, 26 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:02,364 who passed away this year. 27 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,125 Well, that's all, folks! 28 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:13,008 Ski you later, everybody! Thanks for a great season. 29 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:16,482 What was that? That was just normal video with you making vulgar noises. 30 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:18,404 Well, I worked with what I had, Oscar. 31 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:21,882 Next time do more fail-ier stuff, okay? 32 00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:24,044 What happened to that video I sent you? 33 00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:27,488 Oh, that wasn't... That didn't work. That was not the right... 34 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:29,568 I think I've got it right here. 35 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:31,005 No. 36 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:39,645 Oh! 37 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:44,441 That was not a fail! 38 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:45,487 Fail! Fail! Fail! 39 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:46,641 That was actually a serious accident 40 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:48,529 that could have resulted in severe bodily harm. 41 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:50,324 Fail! Fail! Fail! You're all failing right now. 42 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:54,200 Congratulations on your epic fail of the use of the word "fail!" 43 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,201 Oh, God. 44 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:10,767 What's going on? 45 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:12,086 Nothing! Nothing is going on. 46 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:13,850 Keep moving, please. What's he measuring? 47 00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:16,400 Okay, excuse me, lam the landlord. 48 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:18,927 This is between me and the management, no one else. Please. 49 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:21,964 It's an EMF hotspot. Oh, my God! 50 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:23,526 It stands for electromagnetic field, 51 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:25,284 generally caused by a concentration 52 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:26,885 of wiring in one area, 53 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:30,131 especially if poorly insulated, Dwight. 54 00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:31,641 Um. 55 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:33,722 Okay, I'm just walking in to this. 56 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,770 Am I to understand there's a beehive in the wall? 57 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,521 You think I have a machine for measuring beehives? 58 00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:41,409 I was just asking a question, Toby. 59 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:42,845 How are you not murdered every hour? 60 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:46,331 Well, I'm not getting paid to work in a microwave oven. 61 00:02:46,640 --> 00:02:49,644 Okay, listen. Everything here is up to code. 62 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,207 "Oh, the wires need insulation." 63 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:55,604 It's a wire, people. I'm not buying it a fur coat. 64 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:02,086 Thank you. You got it. 65 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:06,290 Last week, I finally told Pam about the other job I took in Philly, 66 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:10,684 the side job, and she was so incredibly cool about it. 67 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:13,971 And now I just want to do something huge for her. 68 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:17,129 Like if we were in some biker bar 69 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,043 and she mouthed off to some bikers 70 00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:21,885 and they came lumbering over and I was like... Wham! 71 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:23,962 "You've got to go through me first!" 72 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:34,491 Andy, could I have a word, please? 73 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:36,881 It won't take a moment, it's extremely important, 74 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:39,281 and it really has to happen now. 75 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,802 Fine. I will give you one minute. 76 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:43,485 Oh, please don't use the hourglass. 77 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:45,688 You have one minute and your minute has begun, 78 00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:47,762 and no time will be added at the end, 79 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:49,644 even to accommodate this sentence, 80 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:52,451 with all of its baroque dependent clauses 81 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:56,161 and cascading turns of phrase. 82 00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:58,569 I'm trying to adopt a baby. 83 00:03:58,640 --> 00:03:59,846 A baby what? 84 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:01,041 A human? 85 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:05,686 And the agency requires a character reference from my employer. 86 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:07,121 Oh. 87 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:09,402 You wouldn't have to do anything. I'd write the letter myself. 88 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:10,970 You'd just simply sign it. So... 89 00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:12,681 Okay- 90 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:16,805 And fall right into your plagiarism entrapment scheme? 91 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:18,850 I don't think so. It's... No, it's... 92 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:21,685 And I happen to notice you're down to about 30 seconds here. 93 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:22,841 If I could just convince you that you... 94 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:24,046 And those sand grains are 95 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:25,963 tumbling with fury down the side... 96 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:27,246 It's not entrapment 97 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:28,810 if I'm writing... ...of the hourglass. 98 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:30,723 Time's up! Fine. 99 00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:33,691 Sure, I'll read her letter. 100 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:37,009 And if she tells the truth about how evil and unfit 101 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:39,731 to be a mother she is, then, yeah, I'll sign that. 102 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,211 "Statistical correlations exist between EMF 103 00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:45,681 "radiation and various health hazards, 104 00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:49,409 "but mainstream studies are inconclusive." 105 00:04:49,720 --> 00:04:52,041 That means you can't make me do squat. 106 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:53,361 You better fix this! 107 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:56,609 I already ditched my uterus, and I ain't losing any more good parts! 108 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:58,091 You people don't realize what you're asking. 109 00:04:58,160 --> 00:04:59,844 I'd have to rip open the walls. 110 00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:02,082 We'd have to shut this place down for a week. 111 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,290 A week off, that'd be great. 112 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:19,326 Hey, if you don't want to teach me the PowerPoint, just say so. 113 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:20,481 I don't want to teach you PowerPoint. 114 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:21,561 Come on. 115 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:23,131 Just show me the PowerPoint. 116 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:24,167 Just do the tutorial! 117 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:25,287 You're the tutorial. 118 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:27,727 No, dude, I'm not. I'm not the tutorial. 119 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:29,365 You could be. Mmm-mmm. 120 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:33,524 What are you doing? 121 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,170 Getting my wife a week off from work. 122 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:36,761 You popped one kernel. 123 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:38,731 Awesome, right? 124 00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:43,722 So Creed is that dude's stepdad? 125 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:45,366 Correct. 126 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:49,922 Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm just going to say it. 127 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:52,600 I'm nervous. I have no idea what 128 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:54,444 health problems this is all going to cause. 129 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:56,881 What? Come on. 130 00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:59,049 I'm sorry. I'm not growing a third arm. 131 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:00,810 I know what Jim is trying to do. 132 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:02,285 He's trying to get Big Bad Dwight 133 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:03,850 to shell out for a huge repairjob 134 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,088 while lucky Jimbo gets a paid vacation. 135 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:07,889 Well, sorry, lucky Jimbo. 136 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:10,201 I can live very happily in a magnetic field. 137 00:06:10,280 --> 00:06:12,931 Most of my childhood heroes got their powers that way. 138 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:16,360 "Side effects of EMF include headaches." 139 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:17,720 Had them all my life. 140 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:19,484 "Breast pain." 141 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:21,767 No knobbies, no probbies. Nice try, Jim. 142 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:23,491 O01'. "infertility." 143 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:27,321 Yeah, right. 144 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:35,801 Ah. 145 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,281 There's my popcorn. Can you just grab that for me? 146 00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:40,967 Keep your snacks on your side, Jim, idiot. 147 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:43,211 What the... What? 148 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,161 Some of these kernels have crowned. 149 00:06:47,280 --> 00:06:50,329 That's impossible, becausethafs a brand-new bag... 150 00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:53,730 Oh, my God. 151 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,081 Andy! 152 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:03,724 I'm going to drive you up to the lake. 153 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:06,883 Give you a whole week on the water, just you, me and the kids. 154 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:08,923 Can we stop by that pie stand on the way? 155 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:12,527 You mean Laverne's Pies Tires Fixed Also? Yes, we will be doing that. 156 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:13,726 We'll be getting a dozen. 157 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,928 A dozen different pies? 'Cause that means rhubarb. 158 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,446 Why would you say that? I meant four apple, four blueberry, 159 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:21,205 two cherry, one peach, one chocolate. I thought that was implied. 160 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:22,486 Yeah, okay, then. 161 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:25,047 Ladies and gentlemen! I have heard your complaints 162 00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:27,248 and we reached a settlement. 163 00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:31,048 So, we will be leaving the office for one whole week. 164 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:32,441 Nice job. 165 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,129 In my contract it is stipulated 166 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:37,248 that I provide a temporary workspace. 167 00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:39,322 It will arrive in one hour. What? 168 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:42,130 What's this? Whoa. What? 169 00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:43,407 Bring it in. 170 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:46,086 Roll into the future with Work Bus. 171 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,885 Say goodbye to wasteful buildings. 172 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:52,209 These days a mobile office isn'tjust for hotshot politicians. 173 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:54,328 Now anyone can rent a work bus. 174 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:58,121 If you've got a parking lot, a work space is just a phone call away. 175 00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:01,602 In this age of belt-tightening and less empowered workers, 176 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:05,122 a work bus is how tomorrow gets things done. 177 00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:09,646 They're a hundred pack... 178 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:11,484 No six pack for me. 179 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:14,765 Six. Yes. 180 00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:17,371 Sorry. Oh, my God! 181 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:20,201 Ah! Sorry. Lose weight! 182 00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:22,210 I'm trying, sorry. 183 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:29,571 Oh, The Pennsylvania Department of Public Welfare Pre-Adoption Standard. 184 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:31,927 Oh, of course, you were adopted. 185 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:36,841 I wish! No, I made some short lists, 186 00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:38,843 I had a couple of sleepovers, but I never 187 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:40,928 managed to get in the end zone. 188 00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:42,646 I don't know what it was. 189 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:46,001 Not loveable, maybe. Oh, well. 190 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:48,130 Listen, I'm really struggling with this form. 191 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:51,044 But as you know the system, do you think maybe you could... 192 00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:53,168 Absolutely. I know exactly what they want to hear. 193 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:54,526 I would love to help. 194 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,807 Oh, thank you so much! 195 00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,721 Just, don't tell Andy, because“. 196 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:01,723 He hates me. Thinks I'm a monster. 197 00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:03,643 Should go back to Loch Ness. 198 00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:07,006 Stretch. All right. 199 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:10,411 How many times do you need to take a stroll? 200 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:13,490 I... My legs cramp up, okay? It's a circulation issue. 201 00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:15,289 Boy, I will hammerspank your rear. 202 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:17,840 All right, all right, gang. Let's just settle down. 203 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:19,001 You're yelling in her face. 204 00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:20,326 It's a medical thing. 205 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:21,771 Just... We good? 206 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:23,245 I'm good! All right? 207 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:26,285 I'm so sorry for all of this. 208 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:30,766 It's okay. You know what they say, a change is as good as a rest. 209 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:33,929 I need to get to the paper, please. 210 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:35,961 Oh, God! Oh! 211 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:37,963 Ah! Oh, my God! Are you okay? 212 00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:39,087 All right, I'll get you a napkin. 213 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:40,241 Can someone get napkins, please? 214 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:43,130 You know what? It's fine. It's fine. Let me just... It's fine. 215 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,168 Pam, I'm really sorry. I just... 216 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:48,928 I'm... I'm really sorry about all that. 217 00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:53,841 Really? Smirking? 218 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:56,769 What can I say? I love justice. 219 00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:58,763 You forced me to spend money on needless repairs. 220 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:00,729 And now you're locked in a prison bus 221 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,768 and your woman drips with beverage. 222 00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:05,207 Hey, Dwight, I was trying to do something nice for Pam. 223 00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:07,123 Can you just help me out? 224 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:09,202 Can we maybe take this thing somewhere? 225 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:11,931 Or do something to not make this the worst day ever? 226 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,321 It's not my responsibility to solve your marriage problems 227 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:17,244 by spending my money on gas. 228 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:20,441 Andy! 229 00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:22,846 Yo, Toonces. 230 00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:24,001 You're the boss. Don't you think 231 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:25,127 we'd all be a lot more productive 232 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,567 if while we were doing work, we looked up and saw 233 00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:30,166 the best rural pie stand in Pennsylvania? 234 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:31,480 I know I'd be more productive. 235 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:32,806 As would I. 236 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:33,881 No question. 237 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:36,327 No, no, this is a work bus. 238 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:38,243 The wheels are for transporting 239 00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:40,203 the work space to and from the work site. 240 00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:41,441 What are you talking about? 241 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:43,727 You're not the boss. Andy is. Andy? 242 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:48,610 Pies! Pies! Pies! Pies! Pies! Pies! 243 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:52,406 All right! The fat people have spoken! 244 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:54,922 Dwight, get this bus moving. 245 00:10:57,840 --> 00:11:01,242 Next stop, Laverne's Pies Tires Fixed Also! 246 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:03,163 Oh, yes! 247 00:11:07,680 --> 00:11:11,480 So it looks like this work bus was a pretty good idea after all, huh? 248 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:13,165 Get your foot behind the yellow line. 249 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:14,765 You got it. 250 00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:29,011 Stop. Come back. 251 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:30,320 Too late. Hmm. 252 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:35,522 Shabooya roll call! Shabooya yaya, shabooya roll call! 253 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:37,204 My name is Pam Yeah? 254 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,884 I like to paint Yeah? 255 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:40,405 You think you're better? Yeah? 256 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:41,481 Oh, no, you ain't! 257 00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:42,561 Roll call! 258 00:11:42,680 --> 00:11:45,729 Shabooya yaya Shabooya roll call! 259 00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:49,123 Shabooya yaya Shabooya roll call! 260 00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:50,810 My name is Kevin Yeah? 261 00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:52,365 That is my name Yeah? 262 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:54,403 They call me Kevin Yeah? 263 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:55,527 'Cause that's my name 264 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:56,601 Roll call! 265 00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:59,889 Shabooya yaya Shabooya roll call! 266 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:03,329 Shabooya yaya Shabooya roll call! 267 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:15,205 Thanks. Playing a little hookey from work today. 268 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:19,651 Oh, my God! 269 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:24,211 Dunder Mifflin road trip 2012! 270 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:26,931 Okay, now a serious one. 271 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:30,289 Hey, where's Dwight? He should be a part of this. 272 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:34,683 Has he been acting kind of weird to you lately? 273 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,400 If by lately you mean for the last 12 years, yeah. 274 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:39,084 No, I mean he's sulking. That's not like him. 275 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:40,844 He's just mad that we're all having fun. 276 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,886 Then why isn't he scheming? Or preparing to avenge? 277 00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:47,847 He's fine. He's indestructible. 278 00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:51,928 Always say that a child is "placed" 279 00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:54,281 for adoption, never "surrendered." 280 00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:56,206 We're not hostages. 281 00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,362 Although, I have considered kidnapping one. 282 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:01,361 And never say that. 283 00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:07,647 I am so excited thinking about this child that you're going to adopt. 284 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,768 I wish I could just wave a magic wand and 285 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:11,968 make you a parentless five-year-old again. 286 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:13,485 I would snap you up. 287 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:14,841 Oh. 288 00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:19,924 Next stop, pies. Next stop, pies. 289 00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:23,050 Next stop, pies. Next stop, pies. 290 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:25,209 Let's go, driver. 291 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:28,409 Laverne packs up the pie wagon at 5:00, so... 292 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:31,007 At 5:00? That's only 20 minutes from now. 293 00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:34,411 The pie shop is 13 miles away. 294 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:38,925 So at 55 miles an hour, that just gives us five minutes to spare! 295 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:41,009 So, wait. When pies are involved 296 00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:43,048 you can suddenly do math in your head? 297 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:44,121 Well... 298 00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:48,206 Hold on, Kevin, how much is 19,154 pies 299 00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:50,249 divided by 61 pies? 300 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,168 Three hundred and fourteen pies. 301 00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:56,410 What if it were salads? 302 00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:58,325 Well, it's the... 303 00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:03,245 Carry the four... In the... 304 00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:04,725 It doesn't work. 305 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,207 I'm sorry to spoil Jim's fantastic voyage, everyone. 306 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:08,520 But we're almost out of gas. 307 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:11,963 Okay, well, I saw a station about a mile back, so chop-chop. 308 00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:14,641 That name brand place? No, forget about it, sorry. 309 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,803 The tanks are so big on this thing, five cents a gallon extra? 310 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:18,961 It really adds up. 311 00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:21,242 Are you kidding me? Dwight, come on! 312 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:23,169 Hey, honey? I don't think we should push him. 313 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:25,163 No, I'm going to push him. You know why? 314 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,891 Because you're getting a pie. Why? Because you deserve it! 315 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:30,531 And what is he doing? He's trying to drive us all around the countryside 316 00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:32,881 looking for gas, because he knows we won't get there. 317 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,803 - Is that what we want? - No! 318 00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:36,929 Stop ordering me around, Jim! 319 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:38,804 - What do we want? - Pies! 320 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:40,644 - When do we want it? - Pies! 321 00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:42,161 Okay, fine! 322 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,128 You win, Jim! You win. 323 00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:49,288 We have been battling for a long time, but you know what? 324 00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:51,567 You win, because you are the winner. You are the alpha male. 325 00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:54,325 There you go. Alpha male, go buy your wife a pie. 326 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:55,970 Go buy the whole world a pie! 327 00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:57,645 That's impossible. 328 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:00,166 Dwight! 329 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:01,321 What are you doing? 330 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:03,005 What the hell? Dwight! 331 00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:08,287 Well, now I don't even feel like pie. 332 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:10,481 Wait. 333 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:13,005 No, it's back. 334 00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:18,086 Oh, just drive away. Just... 335 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:19,685 Phyllis, that's not safe. 336 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:21,842 Guys, we only have 18 minutes left. 337 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:25,004 At 61 miles an hour, we're just going to barely make it. 338 00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:27,085 Go up and check on him. He's upset. 339 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:28,810 You know he's doing all this on purpose. 340 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:31,247 Please just make sure he's okay. 341 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:33,771 And hurry it up, for God's sake! 342 00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:35,285 They're going to be out of banana cream. 343 00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:36,486 Banana cream is the first to go. 344 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:38,528 We'll be lucky to get pumpkin at this point. 345 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:39,841 What? 346 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:42,241 Dwight? 347 00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:44,451 Why are you such a jerk? 348 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:46,363 I'm trying to do something for my wife, 349 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:47,521 and you keep derailing... 350 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:48,886 I'm barren, Jim. 351 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,527 What? My trouser hives are void of honey. 352 00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:56,089 I had congress with Angela, and the child that she bore 353 00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:57,810 did not issue from my loins. 354 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:01,363 I thought I would be a father and instead I am a eunuch, 355 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:03,884 neutered by my own building. 356 00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:08,045 Is this about the popcorn, or the X on the ceiling? 357 00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:10,404 Dwight, that was a prank. 358 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:14,006 You mean you flooded my building with dangerous electromagnetic 359 00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:16,287 radiation as a prank? No. 360 00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:18,328 That's genius. That's the best prank you've ever done. 361 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:19,890 Ru take it. 362 00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:24,921 Andy? Who is it? 363 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,362 Um, is this a good time? Yeah. 364 00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:31,762 Perfect time, right in the middle of a rooftop crisis. 365 00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:33,968 Fine, let me read it. What do we have here? 366 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:37,130 Okay. 367 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:41,604 You've made this very easy for me. It's unsignable. 368 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:43,241 Oh. 369 00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:46,925 Well, is there something... It's inaccurate, dishonest, 370 00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:49,122 and in a word, dong water. 371 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:52,008 Oh, well, perhaps I could reword some of it to... 372 00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:54,082 Here's the thing. You asked me to do you a favor. 373 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:55,964 I did it. I read it. 374 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,281 Thank you very much to me for my time. 375 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:01,762 Good luck with your impossible dream. 376 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:05,770 All right then. 377 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:17,800 Dwight, sometimes it takes couples years to get pregnant. 378 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:20,406 Really? How long did it take you and Pam to conceive? 379 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:22,409 That doesn't matter. What position did you use to conceive? 380 00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:23,567 Okay, I'm not talking about that. 381 00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:24,687 Regular or lady-on-her-back? 382 00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:26,683 You used lady-on-her-back, didn't you, freak? 383 00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:28,485 Yuck, gross. Never mind, Jim. 384 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:42,722 British women, famously over-emotional, am I right? 385 00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:46,482 I don't think that's Nellie. What? 386 00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:48,721 NELLIEI Oh. 387 00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:52,965 Oh, no, no. Look, it's all right, really. It isn't your fault. 388 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:57,367 No, no. You were so kind, 389 00:17:57,840 --> 00:17:59,410 and it isn't anything to do with you. 390 00:18:01,120 --> 00:18:03,691 Did you ever think that because you own the building, 391 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:07,082 everyone in it, we're all kind of like your children? 392 00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:11,525 You know there's a phrase about that in German, bildenkinder, 393 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:13,051 used almost exclusively by childless 394 00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:14,849 landlords to console themselves. 395 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,890 But now I really understand it. 396 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:23,723 Well, now you have a bus full of real bildenkinder. 397 00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:27,128 Bildenkinder. Okay, and they're all dangerously close 398 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:28,690 to not getting pie. 399 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:32,161 And there's only one guy who can save them. 400 00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:34,004 It's not me. 401 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:35,161 I agree. 402 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:36,327 Oh. 403 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:38,725 Hey, how did it go? 404 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:41,280 It was pretty good, actually. We bonded, we got to talk... 405 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:42,841 Oh. Wait, wait, wait! 406 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:45,969 That's what happens when you don't get out of the way. 407 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:47,246 Out of the way! 408 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:51,289 You feel okay now? Better than okay. 409 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:52,765 And you know what, honey? 410 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:54,888 I'm going to get you that rhubarb pie. 411 00:18:55,120 --> 00:18:56,201 Well, actually, rhubarb is... Don't. 412 00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:57,321 ...the one pie that I... Don't. 413 00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,050 Everybody, hang on! 414 00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:01,401 Oh! 415 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:07,650 Whoa! 416 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,962 Pie! Pie! Pie! Pie! Pie! 417 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:26,801 Oh. 418 00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:28,526 I changed my mind. 419 00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:30,884 Oh, you signed it? Yeah. 420 00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:33,203 Not as is, obviously. 421 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:37,090 I made a couple of changes, added some sentences at the end. 422 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:40,125 Trust me, it needed it. 423 00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:42,851 But, yeah, whatever. 424 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:53,569 "She's tough in business, but tender with the people she cares about. 425 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,881 "She'll make a wonderful mother to any child 426 00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:58,167 "who can overlook weird accents." 427 00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:05,122 I insult you, Oscar! 428 00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:06,766 What? 429 00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:09,730 I insult you, to your face! 430 00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:12,681 I don't know what you're talking about. 431 00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:15,047 Then why don't you do something about it? 432 00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:16,567 Kevin, are you trying to get me 433 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:18,449 to hit you in the face with my pie? 434 00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:20,370 You don't have the guts, 435 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:25,608 you stupid, dumb do-do face. 436 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:33,641 Yes! 437 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:37,127 Oh, my God, I'm getting so stuffed. 438 00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:43,765 We did it. 439 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:45,691 You did it. 440 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,443 My name is Andy! Yeah? 441 00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:58,488 I don't do drugs Yeah? 442 00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:00,483 Now check the style Yeah? 443 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:01,686 Of Flatt and Scruggs! 444 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:02,841 Yeah 445 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:21,611 Roll call 446 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:22,681 What? 32762

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