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1
00:00:04,504 --> 00:00:05,963
Val, I need the space
2
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:07,965
All right
guys, clear out
3
00:00:08,049 --> 00:00:09,008
Everybody out
4
00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:10,300
Promise me you're
going to clean up.
5
00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:12,636
what I'm going
to do or not do
6
00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:13,721
Promise me
7
00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:15,097
Obviously
I'm going to clean up
8
00:00:15,181 --> 00:00:18,058
Stress is like
the uptight mayor of a town
who's saying
9
00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:20,310
"Hey, we're uptight
You can't dance."
10
00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:24,106
And then, you have to be like
"Oh, yeah, Mayor Stress?
Well, watch this.'
11
00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:26,442
And then, we dance.
12
00:00:28,486 --> 00:00:30,320
Oh, how we dance.
13
00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:06,732
Sex also works
14
00:01:30,548 --> 00:01:32,299
Hey, Jim's back
from jury duty.
15
00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:35,844
Hey! Tuna
He's back
16
00:01:36,387 --> 00:01:37,387
Hey
17
00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:38,430
Oh, look at this
18
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:40,265
Tuna wrap
Okay
19
00:01:41,726 --> 00:01:43,060
Hand roll
20
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:44,937
How was jury duty?
21
00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:46,480
Pretty uneventful
actually.
22
00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:48,774
let someone like you
serve on a jury
23
00:01:48,858 --> 00:01:50,818
Makes me question
the whole judicial system
24
00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:52,111
What was the case?
25
00:01:52,195 --> 00:01:53,278
A hit and run
26
00:01:53,863 --> 00:01:55,781
Ooh! The case of
the hit and run.
That's exciting.
27
00:01:55,865 --> 00:01:57,199
Did you send him
to the slammer?
28
00:01:57,283 --> 00:01:58,826
No. Not guilty
29
00:01:59,035 --> 00:02:00,536
Of course you
found him not guilty
30
00:02:01,287 --> 00:02:04,540
He apologized
And I just really
want him to like me. Mmm!
31
00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:06,333
We're best friends
actually.
32
00:02:06,417 --> 00:02:08,460
We're going
wine tasting next weekend
if you want to come
33
00:02:08,670 --> 00:02:09,837
Not coming
Have plans.
34
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,130
Okay
35
00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:13,423
I did get called
into jury duty
36
00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:15,384
And they
released me around noon
37
00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:17,469
so I didn't
think it was worth it
38
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,596
to come back to work
for a half day.
39
00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:22,641
And then the next morning,
Pam was a little
overwhelmed with the kids
40
00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:25,227
so I took an extra day
to help out.
41
00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:28,689
And then
three other days happened
42
00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:30,732
Ah
43
00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:32,734
Angela had the baby
44
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,863
Is it black? Because
that would be hilarious
45
00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:37,030
Why?
46
00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:39,116
You know
47
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:42,077
Would it be more hilarious
than Angela
having a Chinese baby?
48
00:02:42,537 --> 00:02:45,914
A little bit. Yeah.
Right, guys? Back me up
49
00:02:46,916 --> 00:02:47,875
Maybe a little bit
50
00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:49,710
Oh. Did I win the pool?
51
00:02:50,211 --> 00:02:52,296
Uh, no
Right month
wrong year.
52
00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:55,465
No one won the pool
Angela wasn't due
for another month.
53
00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:57,509
We should all go to
the hospital and visit her
54
00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:59,720
Oh, I'd love to, but
55
00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:02,347
Oh, man, I would,
but I can't
miss any more work
56
00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:05,934
Well, Kevin and I have to go
because accounting is
its own little family.
57
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:10,814
Yeah, Oscar's the dad
I'm Oscar's dad
and Angela's my mom.
58
00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:13,650
Everyone,
our very own Angela
59
00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:15,777
We all got the e-mail
Some of us are
going to go visit
60
00:03:15,987 --> 00:03:17,529
Oh, I am so in
61
00:03:20,116 --> 00:03:22,201
It's the perfect blend
of love and horror
62
00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:25,037
Things can go
so wrong or
so right
63
00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:30,334
Come on, Judge Judy
tell us your case.
What were the deets?
64
00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:32,044
It was actually
a pretty boring case
65
00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:35,172
How could it be boring?
You were there for five days
Titillate us
66
00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:38,508
Yeah, you owe us.
I had to stay until 6:00
twice to cover for you.
67
00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:40,385
My wife got to
the TV first.
68
00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:43,055
I had to sit through damn
Rizzoli & damn Isles.
69
00:03:43,139 --> 00:03:45,933
Yeah. My car got smashed
visiting one of your clients
70
00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:49,019
and I had to have it detailed
and they took my meter change
71
00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:50,395
Wow. I'm really sorry
72
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:51,521
Yeah
73
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,857
I never considered
that my week off
74
00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:56,443
would make everyone
else's job harder
75
00:03:57,612 --> 00:03:59,655
The least I could do
was give them a good story
76
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:01,907
So Phyllis
he was here and then
77
00:04:01,991 --> 00:04:04,576
the car came and
it was like that.
78
00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:06,745
Yeah, so it had
to be a double
backflip, actually
79
00:04:06,829 --> 00:04:10,374
You know
when I was on J-duties
strangler case,
80
00:04:10,458 --> 00:04:15,337
we used to recreate
the various stranglings
with empanadas from Ernesto's
81
00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:17,172
Oh, man, Ernesto's
82
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,882
That was our
favorite restaurant, too
83
00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:21,218
You mean food truck
Ernesto's was a food truck
84
00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:22,844
Toby, shut your hole
about the empanadas
85
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,763
Nobody cares
about the empanadas
86
00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:26,556
I was in Los Angeles
last year
87
00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:30,102
Jim tricked me
into thinking I'd won
a walk-on part on NCIS,
88
00:04:30,186 --> 00:04:31,144
but that's not important
89
00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:34,773
While I was being
kicked off the lot,
I saw food trucks everywhere
90
00:04:34,857 --> 00:04:36,733
Everyone in Los Angeles
eats from them
91
00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:39,820
and nobody calls
them restaurants
92
00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:49,621
Guys, I don't know how
many of you have seen
93
00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:51,456
Gabe, bring it in
94
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:54,459
how many of you have seen
a premature baby before.
95
00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:57,421
It's going to be really tiny
so please don't say
anything offensive
96
00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:59,047
Got that, bimbo?
97
00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,632
Got it, bimbo
98
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:02,884
Yes?
99
00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:05,012
Knock, knock.
100
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:06,722
Hi.
- Uh
101
00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:12,477
I don't want
What are you guys
doing here?
102
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,855
We wanted to say hi
to the newest
little Dunder Mifflinite
103
00:05:14,939 --> 00:05:20,527
Well, meet our
not-so-little bundle of joy
Philip Halsted Lipton
104
00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:22,154
Philip is so fat
105
00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:23,363
Kevin
106
00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:25,866
You warned me
not to say anything
if it was tiny, Oscar
107
00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:28,827
You didn't prepare me
for a big, giant, fat baby
108
00:05:28,911 --> 00:05:30,746
Yes, he's substantial
Hey
109
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:33,749
He's more than substantial
He's a monster.
110
00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:38,003
So this whole
hit and run thing
111
00:05:38,087 --> 00:05:40,005
there's this one part
I can't figure out.
112
00:05:40,089 --> 00:05:41,548
You said it was
at a four-way stop?
113
00:05:41,632 --> 00:05:42,632
Mmm-hmm
114
00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:46,803
And the victim
rode his bicycle into
the left-hand turn lane
115
00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:49,598
but the perp was already in
the left-hand turn lane?
116
00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:50,932
Mmm-hmm
117
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:54,770
See, that's what I'm
having trouble with,
because the fact is
118
00:05:56,105 --> 00:05:58,482
you never said he
was on a bicycle.
119
00:06:03,237 --> 00:06:05,364
Busted, Halpert! Yes
Wait. No
120
00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:06,615
Andy, get out here
121
00:06:06,699 --> 00:06:07,824
was on a bicycle
122
00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:09,242
wasn't listening to you
123
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:10,577
a citizen's arrest
124
00:06:10,661 --> 00:06:11,912
You have the right
to remain silent.
125
00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:13,205
You have the right
to beg for mercy.
126
00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:16,333
You have the right to request
judgment by combat
Dwight's rights
127
00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:17,876
What's up, gangsters?
128
00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:20,712
Jim was lying
about jury duty
129
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:24,132
He was lying the whole time
so he could go
do yoga or go canoeing,
130
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,718
I don't know what
this pervert likes.
Fire him!
131
00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:29,888
Dwight, not everything
is a conspiracy theory
132
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:33,433
saying that the victim...
133
00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:35,644
Dwight I have me on the record
134
00:06:35,728 --> 00:06:38,855
saying to you
take a chill pill
all right?
135
00:06:39,148 --> 00:06:40,482
I don't need to
take a chill pill
136
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:41,817
Here, right there
137
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:46,905
Down the hatch
138
00:06:46,989 --> 00:06:49,783
I really don't want
to take a chill pill.
139
00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:53,453
That a boy, good
Now, chill.
140
00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:54,538
Okay, okay
141
00:06:57,500 --> 00:07:01,211
But let's just say that Jim
was lying about jury duty
142
00:07:01,295 --> 00:07:02,879
you would have to
fire him, right?
143
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:06,591
Yeah, sure. Of course.
I'd fire him to Timbuktu
144
00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:07,759
Ha-ha
145
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,179
Good enough for me
146
00:07:12,348 --> 00:07:13,390
Ah
147
00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:19,438
And Pam was just going crazy
trying to take care of Philip
148
00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:21,857
because Cece has been
out of control recently.
149
00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:26,611
Look, Andy, it doesn't matter
The truth is I just
feel terrible lying to you.
150
00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:29,030
getting lied to
151
00:07:29,740 --> 00:07:31,366
No one's ever
lied to me before
152
00:07:33,369 --> 00:07:34,453
Okay
153
00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:36,371
I think the best
thing to do right now
154
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,248
is just come clean
and tell everybody
155
00:07:38,332 --> 00:07:41,126
No. Not after
what I told Dwight
about firing you. No
156
00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:42,210
Here's what
we're going to do
157
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:44,880
We're going to have ourselves
a good old fashioned cover-up
158
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:48,258
You ever heard of
a Connecticut cover up?
No
159
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,343
You know why you
never heard of it?
160
00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:51,470
Covered it up
161
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,514
Are you sure you can
keep this under wraps?
162
00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:56,433
They used to
call me King Tut
163
00:07:56,517 --> 00:07:59,102
because I'm so
good at keeping things
under wraps
164
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:01,855
My nickname was
actually King Butt
165
00:08:01,939 --> 00:08:03,690
because I had
a king-sized butt
166
00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:13,742
Where do you
want it parked?
167
00:08:15,244 --> 00:08:18,663
Okay, everybody
Gather round.
168
00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:20,790
Got a real special
surprise for you
169
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,083
Ernesto
170
00:08:22,418 --> 00:08:23,793
Hola, Toby!
171
00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:34,137
Uh, I'm going to say "l"
when I'm talking for Ernesto
172
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:36,473
so instead of,
"He says blah, blah, blah,'
173
00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:39,434
I'm going to say,
"I say blah, blah, blah,'
but that's for him.
174
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:43,396
Anyway,
it was something like
he remembers Toby.
175
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:45,232
"I remember Toby.'
176
00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:49,736
Oh, Jim.
Hey, this guy
look familiar?
177
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,363
It's the empanada guy
178
00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:52,572
The empanada guy
179
00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:56,117
Holy *. Damn it, Toby
No, I wasn't asking you.
180
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:58,745
Ask him if he
remembers Jim
181
00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:04,751
No
182
00:09:05,127 --> 00:09:06,169
He says no
183
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:07,504
He says no. Boom
184
00:09:07,588 --> 00:09:09,130
Yeah, but who remembers
all their customers?
185
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:11,341
I mean, I can name
like three of our clients
186
00:09:11,425 --> 00:09:14,469
He remembers Toby
the most forgettable
man in the known world
187
00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:20,684
He doesn't want
any trouble.
188
00:09:20,768 --> 00:09:22,352
He sees lots of people
189
00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:25,272
they come from all around
to eat his
delicious meat pockets.
190
00:09:25,356 --> 00:09:29,484
Uh, you guys are
going to love these,
so empanadas on me
191
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:30,569
You guys got to try them
192
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:34,906
Usually I'm a burrito guy
but if you won't tell,
I won't. Wink, wink.
193
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:37,784
Great
And while we're enjoying
these delicious empanadas
194
00:09:37,868 --> 00:09:40,161
Jim, why don't you
tell us your story again?
195
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:41,329
Why? Everybody's heard it
196
00:09:41,789 --> 00:09:43,123
Walk us through it
197
00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:44,666
What time
would you get there
every morning?
198
00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:46,751
Hey, Murder, She Wrote,
199
00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:50,380
how about we drop
the whole Murder, She Wrote
thing, okay?
200
00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:53,425
Jim was at
the courthouse for jury duty
every morning
201
00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:56,177
How do I know?
Because I drove him there
202
00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:58,763
Why?
Why?
203
00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:00,390
Why?
204
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:03,685
Because my car broke down
205
00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:05,770
His car broke down
so he called me
206
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:06,938
because I live
near the courthouse
207
00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:09,983
Wait, wait,
you live by the courthouse
208
00:10:10,067 --> 00:10:13,445
You drove from
near the courthouse
out to Jim's house
209
00:10:13,529 --> 00:10:14,988
and then back to
the courthouse?
210
00:10:15,072 --> 00:10:17,616
Thirty minutes out
30 minutes back
easy hour.
211
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,492
And I would watch
that cute, little tooshy
212
00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:21,828
scurry up those
courthouse stairs
every morning
213
00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:23,580
and that was that
214
00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:28,043
I'm sorry, do you have
any American Mexican food?
215
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,295
We're getting
buried out there
216
00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:32,005
What was that stuff about
the car breaking down?
217
00:10:32,089 --> 00:10:33,882
Well, I think you
handled it pretty well
218
00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:37,427
I'm not Rumpelstiltskin,
Jim, I can't keep spinning
gold out of your *
219
00:10:37,553 --> 00:10:39,137
Okay, listen, all right?
220
00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:41,431
Dwight's onto us.
He's going to
figure it out really soon
221
00:10:41,515 --> 00:10:43,350
So let's just
get ahead of it.
Let's tell the truth
222
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,478
I don't even know what
the truth is anymore.
223
00:10:47,271 --> 00:10:48,813
Wow, it's so
224
00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:50,815
healthy
225
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:53,443
I'm going to call
him Little Kevin
226
00:10:53,527 --> 00:10:54,903
No, you will not
227
00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:58,323
Is he really five pounds?
Because I squat
with five pounds
228
00:10:58,866 --> 00:10:59,949
This
229
00:11:00,451 --> 00:11:02,369
Yeah, this feels like
more than that
230
00:11:02,453 --> 00:11:05,080
No, no, no
he's nine pounds
seven ounces.
231
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:07,916
Nine pounds? Really?
232
00:11:08,417 --> 00:11:11,836
I thought you said five
You know what?
I was under so many drugs
233
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:15,632
a James Taylor concert
or something
234
00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:17,801
So, what did you bring?
235
00:11:17,885 --> 00:11:20,970
Oh, yeah, I don't know
if it's right, but...
236
00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:24,349
Well, if it's anything
like that
gorgeous wrapping paper
237
00:11:24,433 --> 00:11:25,517
you hit it
out of the park
238
00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:27,894
Oh
239
00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:29,729
Preemie pajamas
240
00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:31,523
Again, it may not be
the right size, I can
241
00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:34,984
No, I think he came early
just so he could wear these
242
00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:36,194
Thank you
243
00:11:36,278 --> 00:11:38,697
Call of Duty.
244
00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:41,241
This baby is
clearly not premature
245
00:11:41,325 --> 00:11:43,201
They're lying about
the date it was conceived
246
00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:45,161
It's very interesting
247
00:11:45,287 --> 00:11:49,332
And her husband's gay
I don't even know
which thread to follow.
248
00:11:57,299 --> 00:12:00,677
Uh, excuse me,
can I have everyone's
attention for a second?
249
00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:02,512
First off,
I just want to say that
I'm really sorry
250
00:12:02,596 --> 00:12:04,389
I didn't know that
my absence last week
251
00:12:04,473 --> 00:12:06,224
would have been
a burden on any of you
252
00:12:06,308 --> 00:12:09,394
Because,
though I did have jury duty
last week,
253
00:12:09,895 --> 00:12:12,981
they did dismiss me
early on Monday.
254
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,818
And I think you're
going to find this
pretty hilarious.
255
00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:20,864
I kind of, well
maybe took the week off
256
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:23,241
What?
257
00:12:23,325 --> 00:12:25,368
Funny? No? Nobody laughed
258
00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:28,455
You're screwed
259
00:12:29,248 --> 00:12:32,459
Oh! It's happening.
It's really happening
260
00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:35,295
What the hell, Jim
I covered for your
bony butt
261
00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:37,589
Pam really needed some help
with the kids, so...
262
00:12:37,673 --> 00:12:39,174
I promise my
intentions were good
263
00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:40,884
Your clients,
they're all mine
264
00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:45,305
Jim, I got my ass chewed out
because one of your orders
got messed up.
265
00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:47,766
And Andy, you said
you drove him to
the courthouse
266
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,058
Uh, I did
267
00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:53,188
Every morning
And if I didn't
then I hope I die
268
00:12:53,522 --> 00:12:58,026
All right, well,
let's get this show
on the road, shall we?
269
00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:01,029
Allow me to
give you a hand
Here we are.
270
00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:03,239
So long, clump mate
271
00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:05,575
I'm going to miss you
Truth be told,
272
00:13:05,659 --> 00:13:08,328
I never thought
that this was how
it was going to end
273
00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:10,455
I was going to
defeat you somehow
274
00:13:10,539 --> 00:13:11,664
but you've
defeated yourself
275
00:13:12,416 --> 00:13:14,876
Dwight, cut it out
I'm not firing Jim.
276
00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:16,628
No, no, no, no
you said...
277
00:13:16,712 --> 00:13:18,463
ANDY
I know what I said
278
00:13:18,547 --> 00:13:22,634
Jim, you're in
deep doo-doo
you understand?
279
00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:24,010
And I have one
thing to say to you
280
00:13:24,094 --> 00:13:26,304
and I'm going to
say it in front of
this whole office
281
00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:27,722
Look me in the eye
282
00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:32,477
That's it?
283
00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:35,313
This is crap
284
00:13:37,858 --> 00:13:40,068
You've reached Gabe Lewis.
I'm currently indisposed.
285
00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:42,070
Leave me a message. Ciao.
286
00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:43,321
Gabe, it's Dwight again
287
00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:45,490
Highest priority
triple urgent.
288
00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:48,159
Call me immediately
That means ASAP
289
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,662
I'm going to find Gabe
tell him what Jim did
290
00:13:50,746 --> 00:13:53,748
and let the little stickler
do what he does best,
stickle
291
00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:57,418
Honestly, I can return
this for a larger size
292
00:13:57,628 --> 00:14:00,421
It's fine
Pajamas aren't supposed
to be baggy, right?
293
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:01,756
It's not the barrio
294
00:14:03,050 --> 00:14:06,594
The only
premature baby in this room
is the baby this baby ate
295
00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:10,807
Little Kevin
296
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:12,725
Really?
Angela
297
00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:14,269
Fine. God
298
00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:16,896
Philip was conceived
nine months ago.
299
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,817
The Senator and I
wanted to wait
300
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,194
but we had just seen Thor,
301
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:25,697
and there was
way too much wine
in my chicken piccata
302
00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:27,532
Chicken marsala
Right
303
00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:31,202
And, the point is,
Philip was
conceived out of wedlock
304
00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:32,370
Hmm
305
00:14:32,496 --> 00:14:35,707
And now you all know
but you can never tell
306
00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:37,584
I'm serious
307
00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:40,461
Dwight
308
00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:41,671
Hey
309
00:14:41,797 --> 00:14:42,839
Oh. Hey, have you
seen Gabe?
310
00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:45,091
He went to
the car or something
but he'll be back.
311
00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:46,467
Okay
312
00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:50,889
Don't you want
to see the baby?
313
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:54,309
Why? I know what
Angela and
the Senator look like
314
00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:56,728
I can mash that up
in my head right now
315
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,065
wouldn't tell
316
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:02,358
So don't
317
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:06,070
Angela got pregnant
before the wedding.
318
00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:09,365
What?
319
00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:10,742
She got pregnant
before the wedding
320
00:15:10,826 --> 00:15:12,493
How long before?
A month
321
00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:20,293
You didn't hear it
from me
322
00:15:20,377 --> 00:15:21,753
Yes, I did
323
00:15:26,675 --> 00:15:28,051
Dwight?
Dwight.
324
00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:32,180
Well, Angela will make you
cut your fingernails
It's not worth it
325
00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:34,098
Oh
326
00:15:34,516 --> 00:15:35,600
Yes
327
00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:37,518
Oh
328
00:15:37,728 --> 00:15:42,482
What a beautiful child
Prominent forehead,
short arms, tiny nose.
329
00:15:43,984 --> 00:15:45,860
You will lead millions
330
00:15:46,528 --> 00:15:48,863
willingly or as slaves
331
00:15:49,239 --> 00:15:53,368
That baby is a Schrute,
and unless
somebody taught Mose sex
332
00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:55,370
that baby is mine
333
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:58,289
He's hungry
334
00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,458
Oh, that's my cue
to leave.
335
00:16:00,542 --> 00:16:02,251
No, you don't have to
I'm going to
wear this cover.
336
00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:05,254
Still
337
00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:06,464
You won't be seeing
338
00:16:08,884 --> 00:16:09,884
Do you want the giraffe?
339
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:12,887
Yes, I am bringing
my kids in to help me get
out of this hole.
340
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,722
And you all remember
my beautiful wife, Pam
341
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:15,848
Hi
342
00:16:16,725 --> 00:16:18,810
Wow, I really thought
I'd be more
excited to be here
343
00:16:18,894 --> 00:16:20,687
Whoa, whoa, whoa
Game face, baby.
Game face
344
00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:21,813
Oh, right. Okay
345
00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:23,606
Hey, Stanley
it's great to see you
346
00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:24,649
No, that's overdoing it I think.
347
00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:26,818
Hi, Stanley.
Split the difference
348
00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:28,569
Jim.
Okay. Let's go
349
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,029
Hi
350
00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:32,824
Hi, everybody
351
00:16:32,908 --> 00:16:34,492
What?
Oh, hi
352
00:16:34,576 --> 00:16:35,952
How about
a little visit?
353
00:16:36,036 --> 00:16:38,997
Wow. What a surprise
That's crazy
354
00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:40,999
You guys get to meet
the little heck raisers
355
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:42,750
Hey, Angela's back
with her baby.
356
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,502
Yes, well, you guys
all know Cece,
357
00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:46,587
but we wanted to
introduce you
to baby Philip.
358
00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:50,717
You guys
359
00:16:53,095 --> 00:16:55,013
He's licking on my finger
just like my cat does.
360
00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:56,222
Let me have a turn
361
00:16:56,306 --> 00:16:57,348
No, it's
the pacifier's turn
362
00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:58,474
All right
363
00:16:58,559 --> 00:17:00,184
Did you say
something about
364
00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:03,438
this one bringing in
something for these people?
365
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:06,691
Yes. Cece wanted
to thank everybody
366
00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:10,236
for letting her
daddy stay home with her
all last week and play
367
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:11,904
so she brought
you a little treat
368
00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:13,156
Oh, cookies?
369
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:14,782
No. But that
would have been
a really good idea
370
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:15,867
That would have
been really good
371
00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:18,619
No, she
brought you drawings
372
00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:21,205
Oh, my goodness,
let's take a look at these
373
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:25,918
They're usually amazing
so let's see.
Yep, they are
374
00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:27,378
Uncle Andy
375
00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:28,504
Oh
376
00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:29,839
Aunt Phyllis
377
00:17:29,923 --> 00:17:33,092
Wow. These are incredible
Cece, did you do these?
378
00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:34,218
No
379
00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:37,972
She says no to everything.
You know,
she thinks my name is "No.'
380
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,891
Cece, do you want
some broccoli?
381
00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:40,975
Yes
382
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,060
No
383
00:17:42,811 --> 00:17:43,936
It's crazy
384
00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:46,647
Why am I
shorter than the table
that I'm standing next to?
385
00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,817
ANDY
There is crosshatching
in some of these
386
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,736
That's kind of
advanced for
a 2-year-old.
387
00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:54,447
Cece, this is your
big sister, Kelly
388
00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:56,407
Did you color
this pretty picture?
389
00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:57,533
No
390
00:17:57,659 --> 00:17:59,827
So then this
means nothing to you?
391
00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:02,663
Hey, Cece
392
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:07,460
why don't you draw
another picture for us
exactly like this one
393
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,588
or at least in
the exact same style?
394
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:13,841
You know what? I don't think
you need to do
things on command.
395
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:16,761
That's very weird
Just take that.
Thank you.
396
00:18:16,845 --> 00:18:20,014
I think we should
just wrap up the show
kiddos, right?
397
00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:22,308
else we can do here
398
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:24,769
Okay. All right
399
00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:26,562
It's okay, sweetie
All right
400
00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:28,272
All right. Okay
401
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:32,693
It's okay
402
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,487
Shh
403
00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:41,119
Angela, this child
is definitely mine.
He looks just like me
404
00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:42,912
Every baby
looks just like you
405
00:18:42,996 --> 00:18:44,372
Your face kind of
looks like a baby
406
00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:48,960
Need I remind you
that we were together
a month before the wedding?
407
00:18:49,044 --> 00:18:51,129
That is completely untrue
408
00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:52,213
Completely true
409
00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:53,297
No
Remember?
410
00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:55,258
You said that Robert
was not fulfilling you
411
00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:56,676
And I said that I
could fulfill you
412
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:58,052
and you said
"I'd like to see you try.'
413
00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,304
And then I kissed you
with the force of
a thousand waterfalls
414
00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:01,722
That didn't happen
415
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,391
Then I inserted my
penis into your...
416
00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:05,017
No! Stop it! Dwight
417
00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:06,227
...vagina and
418
00:19:06,311 --> 00:19:07,520
And even if it did,
it's just a coincidence
419
00:19:07,604 --> 00:19:09,147
Admit that
there is a chance.
I will not
420
00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:10,273
Admit it
I will not
421
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:11,274
It's not
422
00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:13,568
All done?
Yes
423
00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:15,236
Yes. He's sleeping
424
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,071
Before I go, may I?
425
00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:18,573
Sure
426
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:21,826
Watch the head
Watch the head
427
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:33,588
Nurse!
You know that baby in there?
Baby Philip?
428
00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:35,131
Cancel the circumcision
429
00:19:35,215 --> 00:19:36,215
Who are you?
430
00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:43,764
what that means
431
00:19:44,308 --> 00:19:46,434
We're going to
circumcise him
432
00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:49,854
Cece, want to come?
433
00:19:49,938 --> 00:19:50,897
No
434
00:19:50,981 --> 00:19:52,523
Want to come play?
Oh, bud, I know.
435
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:53,566
Do you have a pacifier?
436
00:19:53,650 --> 00:19:55,610
Yeah. I'm looking
I'm looking for
the pacifier.
437
00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:57,695
Cece
Okay, we're going
438
00:19:57,779 --> 00:20:00,114
We got to go
All right,
we're going home
439
00:20:01,783 --> 00:20:03,951
I know
440
00:20:05,787 --> 00:20:07,830
You gotta grab her
I'll go grab her. Okay
441
00:20:07,915 --> 00:20:10,249
Okay. Here we go
Here we go.
442
00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:12,752
Okay, I'm just going
to go down to the car,
and I'm going to put her
443
00:20:12,836 --> 00:20:14,629
in her seat and
I'll be right back up
444
00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:17,548
We'll see you tomorrow
445
00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:18,758
No, no, it's okay
I'll be right back.
446
00:20:18,842 --> 00:20:19,926
No, just go home
447
00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:22,053
It's all good
We got this.
448
00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:25,765
Last week
Jim at home
449
00:20:27,184 --> 00:20:28,976
that was no vacation
450
00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:30,561
Jim, just go
451
00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:32,605
Hey, we'll be just fine
452
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:35,900
Thanks, guys
453
00:20:36,318 --> 00:20:38,653
All right, here we go
Let's go
454
00:20:39,529 --> 00:20:41,155
Oh!
455
00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:42,448
Phew
456
00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:54,043
Dwight, what the hell?
457
00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:56,712
You can't smoke in here
458
00:20:56,797 --> 00:20:58,297
Oh, all right
459
00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:00,258
Ah
460
00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:02,635
The office
looks different now
Mmm
461
00:21:02,844 --> 00:21:04,053
Smaller
462
00:21:04,721 --> 00:21:06,722
Maybe I just feel bigger
463
00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:08,099
Hello, Gabe
464
00:21:08,183 --> 00:21:09,308
You had something
important to tell me?
465
00:21:10,185 --> 00:21:14,522
Oh. You know, I did
but now it seems
infinitely insignificant
466
00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:18,901
Jim? Oh, right
No, forget it.
467
00:21:18,986 --> 00:21:21,487
He was doing it
for his kids
I get it
468
00:21:21,697 --> 00:21:24,115
Kids drive us dads crazy.
469
00:21:24,199 --> 00:21:25,908
Sometimes I feel
like they're raising us.
470
00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:27,618
Am I right?
34121
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