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1
00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:04,920
Christmas time is here!
2
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,589
Wow! Thanks, guys
That sounded amazing
3
00:00:07,966 --> 00:00:12,928
Hi, I'm Andy Bernard
and I am the first
office Santa ever
4
00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:15,139
to make holiday
wishes come true
5
00:00:15,598 --> 00:00:17,433
Who's excited to get
their holiday wishes?
6
00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:20,102
Holiday wishes.
What's that, Stanley?
7
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:23,063
We know exactly
what holiday
you're referring to
8
00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:27,860
It is important to be mindful
of all belief systems
at our holiday party
9
00:00:28,236 --> 00:00:30,320
I've been here 18 years
and I've suffered
10
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:32,573
through some weird
thematic Christmases
11
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:36,076
A Honolulu Christmas
a Pulp Fiction Christmas
12
00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:39,204
a Muslim Christmas
Moroccan Christmas
13
00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:40,998
Mo Rocca Christmas
14
00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:44,752
Christmas is Christmas
is Christmas is Christmas
15
00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:48,047
I got Stanley tickets to see
Lewis Black for his birthday
16
00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:51,550
Might not have
been the best idea
17
00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:53,886
Kwanzaa wreath
18
00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:56,638
I don't need
a dreidel in my face
That's its own thing.
19
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,557
And who's that
black Santa for?
20
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:02,936
I know Santa ain't black I could care less.
21
00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:06,023
I want Christmas.
Just give me plain
22
00:01:06,107 --> 00:01:08,817
baby-Jesus-lying-in-a-manger
Christmas
23
00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:22,623
What is the status
on my wish?
Fulfilled
24
00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:25,667
Brought my bicycle so I can be
your designated driver later,
25
00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:29,296
in the event that
you drink too much
which is by no means required
26
00:01:29,380 --> 00:01:31,381
What about my wish
that we don't have
to attend meetings
27
00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:33,133
that degrade our
sense of adulthood?
28
00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:34,384
That, I cannot do
29
00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:37,179
But I did get you
an acre of property
on the moon
30
00:01:38,139 --> 00:01:39,515
Where, dark side
or light side?
31
00:01:39,974 --> 00:01:42,059
Light side
Is it by the Sea
of Tranquility?
32
00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:44,603
As a matter of fact, yes
Directly adjacent.
33
00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:47,314
Beachfront
Thank you, Andy.
34
00:01:47,565 --> 00:01:50,359
So whose wish is next?
What about Santa's wish?
35
00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:54,530
My biggest wish
is that you a
get along well with Jessica
36
00:01:57,575 --> 00:01:59,034
Come on, guys, Jessica
37
00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:01,328
Jim, tell them who Jessica is
38
00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:03,080
She's not your grandmother
is she?
39
00:02:03,164 --> 00:02:04,998
Gam-Gam's
name is Ruth, Jim
40
00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:08,293
You should know.
I introduced you on
speakerphone that time
41
00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:10,504
Jessica is my super
serious girlfriend,
42
00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:13,215
who is seriously awesome
and seriously sexy.
43
00:02:13,883 --> 00:02:16,301
Only thing that's not serious
by the way, our repartee
44
00:02:16,427 --> 00:02:18,470
That's great
When you know, you know
45
00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:19,972
Hey, what's Ruth's deal, man?
46
00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:21,849
Totally out of your league
47
00:02:22,016 --> 00:02:24,184
So, in summation, ho ho
48
00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:25,978
please be nice to Jessica
and mistletoe
49
00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:27,813
is not an excuse
for sexual assault
50
00:02:27,897 --> 00:02:29,731
And don't go near Gam-Gam
51
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,653
I love Jessica, and l
haven't even met her yet
52
00:02:34,737 --> 00:02:37,197
It's like, we don't
even need to meet, you know?
53
00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:39,324
I already love you. Stay home
54
00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:42,911
I just want you to
know that I will be mean
55
00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:44,163
to Jessica,
if you want me to be
56
00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:45,539
Oh, no, no, it's fine, Kelly
57
00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:48,000
It's really no problem.
I was already planning
on being mean to her.
58
00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:49,293
That's okay
I don't want you to do that
59
00:02:50,211 --> 00:02:51,461
Hello
60
00:02:52,797 --> 00:02:54,298
Merry Christmas, Erin
61
00:02:54,465 --> 00:02:57,009
Kelly, happy Pancha Ganapati
62
00:02:57,093 --> 00:02:58,135
Ew. What is that?
63
00:02:58,219 --> 00:03:00,971
The five day Hindu
celebration in December
64
00:03:01,097 --> 00:03:03,891
honouring the god Ganesh
patron of the arts
65
00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:05,684
Cool
66
00:03:05,768 --> 00:03:07,394
Hey, man.
Hey
67
00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:09,104
How you holding up?
68
00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:11,857
Because of your
wife leaving you
69
00:03:11,941 --> 00:03:13,108
Kevin
70
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,694
I actually appreciate
the human intimacy.
71
00:03:15,778 --> 00:03:18,030
I feel like a kitten
being cradled by a gorilla
72
00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:19,156
Yeah
73
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,992
It's been 10 days
since I had
sexual intercourse
74
00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:24,620
Well, you came
to the right place.
75
00:03:25,121 --> 00:03:27,414
It... This party
will cheer you right up
76
00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:30,459
I hope so. The corporate
party was wretched
77
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:34,213
I am so tired of
the Black Eyed Peas
78
00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:36,381
It's rock and roll
for people who don't
like rock and roll.
79
00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:38,800
It's rap for people
who don't like rap
80
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,470
It's pop for people
who don't like pop
81
00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:43,472
Ah
82
00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:45,224
Heartbreaking
83
00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:46,433
Oh. Thank you
84
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:55,609
Well, I hate to have
to take my Santa hat off
and put on my hard ass hat
85
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:58,904
but this is serious
86
00:03:59,530 --> 00:04:02,741
It's come to my attention
that somebody who
shall remain nameless
87
00:04:02,825 --> 00:04:04,701
wants to switch desk clumps
88
00:04:05,286 --> 00:04:07,537
Fine with me.
Jim can leave
any time he wants
89
00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:08,789
Good-bye
Wasn't me
90
00:04:08,873 --> 00:04:10,207
It wasn't either of you
91
00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:11,875
Cathy wants to
leave our clump?
92
00:04:12,835 --> 00:04:15,921
Don't look.
Who it was is not important
93
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:18,590
But she did say that
your constant pranking
94
00:04:18,716 --> 00:04:21,009
and one-upsmanship
is driving her crazy.
95
00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:24,179
She or he.
I just want to say
this is not my fault
96
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,473
Okay, the weak
always bully the strong
97
00:04:26,557 --> 00:04:28,183
contrary to what
you see in the media
98
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,394
acting in self-defense
99
00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:32,729
Occasionally
preemptive self-defense
100
00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:35,399
Ow! What are you doing?
Hey! Hey!
101
00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:36,817
Respect the hat
102
00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:38,986
Pam never seemed
to have a problem with us
103
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:42,823
All right
I'm gonna speak in a language
you both understand
104
00:04:43,324 --> 00:04:44,449
Moe-nay
105
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:46,535
What was it?
What is it?
106
00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:48,036
Money
107
00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:51,873
You both have sizeable
Christmas bonuses
coming your way
108
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,458
If I catch either of you
messing with the other
109
00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:55,669
I will give both
bonuses to the other person
110
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:58,297
Can't do that
No, absolutely not.
111
00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:02,134
You need consequences
Okay, I want you both
walking on eggshells.
112
00:05:05,596 --> 00:05:08,390
Hi, I'm Jessica.
I'm looking for Andy
113
00:05:08,474 --> 00:05:11,977
Jessica, yes.
We don't say hi. We hug
114
00:05:14,939 --> 00:05:17,399
I'm Erin. Sorry.
Ooh
115
00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,234
I hope you feel
really welcome
We all want you here
116
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,360
Oh
117
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:23,071
My ex is meeting my sex
118
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:25,782
Which is always scary
119
00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:29,619
You know? And not just because
you think they might
talk about your penis.
120
00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:31,872
That's just part of it
121
00:05:32,206 --> 00:05:34,041
Hey! Jess, Erin
122
00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:35,625
I hope you're not
talking about my penis
123
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:36,877
Hi
Hi
124
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,921
Hey, everyone
I want you to meet Jessica
125
00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:43,091
She is an assistant
cross-country coach
at Bryn Mawr.
126
00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:44,426
Wow
127
00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:47,471
Erin, by the way,
amazing receptionist
128
00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:50,515
Oh, that's great.
Backbone of the office
129
00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:52,601
Which is funny, actually
because my spine is a mess
130
00:05:52,685 --> 00:05:53,727
What?
Oh
131
00:05:53,811 --> 00:05:57,981
Scoliosis. Had to wear
a back brace for three years
but I never did
132
00:06:00,985 --> 00:06:02,778
Oh, no
133
00:06:03,154 --> 00:06:04,821
Oh, no, it's kicking in
134
00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:07,991
Spontaneous scoliosis
135
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,037
Oh
136
00:06:12,121 --> 00:06:14,456
This thing could
take your arm off
your head off.
137
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:15,874
You know,
just exercise caution
138
00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:17,084
Thank you
All right
139
00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:18,502
All right
140
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,879
Oh, yeah
141
00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:23,757
and there's a Christmas
party upstairs tonight
I wanted to tell you about
142
00:06:24,008 --> 00:06:25,550
Isn't that just
for popsicles?
143
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:26,885
Popsicles?
144
00:06:26,969 --> 00:06:29,388
Yeah, like, upstairs people
'Cause you got
a stick up your butt.
145
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:32,849
Ah. See, I thought it was
because they're all so rich
146
00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:35,227
they could eat
popsicles all the time
147
00:06:35,311 --> 00:06:37,479
What?
I... in my
148
00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:40,023
Well,
you should definitely come
The foreman always comes
149
00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:43,360
Plus it's fun
you know, cookies
smoked fish
150
00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:45,362
alcohol, people acting stupid
151
00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:48,698
You had me at "cookies".
I can't wait to
find out what they are
152
00:06:50,159 --> 00:06:51,118
What should I wear?
153
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:53,578
Oh, it's nice. It's real nice
People get dressed up.
154
00:06:54,038 --> 00:06:56,498
I will look so
handsome for you, Darryl
155
00:07:05,466 --> 00:07:06,466
Uh.
156
00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:09,845
I'm gonna
157
00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:16,852
Dwight really wants my bonus
158
00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:19,354
He's trying to entrap me
159
00:07:20,356 --> 00:07:22,858
Oh, God, now I can't
drink at this thing
160
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,112
I get really
pranky when I drink
161
00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:29,281
Erin, what can I get for you?
162
00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:32,033
Do you have cola?
Kirkland, if you have it
163
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,994
Why would you come to a bar
and ask for a cola
164
00:07:34,078 --> 00:07:35,996
when you can get
some from the kitchen?
165
00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:39,499
Did some small part of you
want something
a little stronger?
166
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:44,379
Ryan, Kevin, Phyllis, Oscar
come and take these shots.
167
00:07:44,505 --> 00:07:45,797
Yes
168
00:07:46,048 --> 00:07:47,048
Will do
169
00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:50,719
The fifth one
is for you, Erin
You can take it or leave it
170
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:53,555
To take it would be
to accept that you're
171
00:07:53,681 --> 00:07:55,515
at a party,
and you're an adult woman
172
00:07:56,225 --> 00:07:58,518
and you have
an adventurous spirit
173
00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:00,187
To leave it
would be fine, too
174
00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:02,564
One, two, three
Yes
175
00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:03,899
Okay
176
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:05,901
Wow
177
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:07,569
Whoo!
Hey, hey, nice
178
00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:09,988
Jiminy Christmas
179
00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:12,115
Jiminy Christmas, indeed
180
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,576
Hit her up
Oh, yes.
181
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:16,578
Yeah.
- Wow
182
00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:21,708
Yeah, I just got my
replacement credit card
183
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:26,922
Do you want the number?
Oh, it's 4-7-9-3
184
00:08:27,423 --> 00:08:31,843
0-0-3-2-3-3-1-3
185
00:08:32,970 --> 00:08:36,431
The security code is 9-2-7
186
00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:38,433
Okay, great
thank you very much
187
00:08:38,726 --> 00:08:39,935
Bye
188
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:45,440
So Dwight did take the bait
189
00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:51,404
He used my credit card
numbers to send a $200
bouquet of flowers
190
00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:53,698
to my wife
191
00:08:54,158 --> 00:08:55,158
From me
192
00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:01,706
Boom
193
00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:04,960
Look, it's Christmas
so you're allowed...
194
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:06,878
Hello
195
00:09:15,137 --> 00:09:17,556
compared to normal
196
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,474
You usually dress
like a Ghostbuster
197
00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:21,518
Okay.
I thought you'd
wear a sweater
198
00:09:21,602 --> 00:09:23,270
Since when does a sweater
mean "dressed up"?
199
00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:24,354
Am I your grandson?
200
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:25,480
Come on, stay, all right?
201
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:26,940
It's good for people
to get to know you.
202
00:09:27,441 --> 00:09:30,110
As a contestant on
Dancing with the Stars maybe.
203
00:09:30,861 --> 00:09:35,323
and then I want
a sugar cookie
204
00:09:36,033 --> 00:09:37,659
And then I want my nap
205
00:09:37,785 --> 00:09:39,244
That's right
206
00:09:39,495 --> 00:09:41,329
Thank you
207
00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:43,123
She is remarkable
208
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,625
Edgy impressions
Thank you
209
00:09:46,168 --> 00:09:47,669
How many drinks
have you had tonight?
210
00:09:47,795 --> 00:09:49,296
driving everybody home
211
00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:51,423
A thousand
Woah!
212
00:09:52,049 --> 00:09:54,009
Maybe you should take a break
213
00:09:54,885 --> 00:09:56,553
Maybe you should
mind your own business
214
00:09:58,097 --> 00:09:59,681
Just kidding
215
00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:04,978
Ah! I've been attacked
216
00:10:05,062 --> 00:10:08,148
Oh, my God.
Someone put
a porcupine in my drawer
217
00:10:08,649 --> 00:10:09,608
Oh, my God
218
00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:12,861
Yeah, I was just
sitting here at my desk
and I reached into my drawer
219
00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:15,238
to grab my toothbrush
and some tooth powder
220
00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:17,449
and all of a sudden I was attacked
221
00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:19,701
by this bloodthirsty
rabid creature.
222
00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:23,371
who has access to a porcupine?
223
00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:26,708
Or who in this office
knows that I have access
224
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:28,627
and is trying to set me up?
225
00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:31,671
Hmm
You know, this sounds
a lot like the premise
226
00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:33,757
of my latest Chad
Flenderman novel
227
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:35,508
A Murder for Framing.
228
00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:38,470
Chad Flenderman.
Just an easy-going
black guy who knows
229
00:10:38,554 --> 00:10:40,764
the streets,
yet he also went to Oxford
230
00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:46,936
So just as
comfortable on a motorcycle
as he is on Air Force One
231
00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:51,358
And he's also the world's
leading Egyptologist.
232
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:56,279
Toby, nobody cares
about your sex-crazed
black detective.
233
00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:59,407
No, no, no, no, no
women chase him.
He misses his wife
234
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,743
Hello, lacerated
hand here, folks
235
00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:03,078
Nice try
This is ridiculous
236
00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:04,329
Oh, is it really?
237
00:11:04,413 --> 00:11:06,623
Two separate times
you have set me up to believe
238
00:11:06,707 --> 00:11:08,708
that I was being
recruited by the CIA
239
00:11:09,418 --> 00:11:10,669
Three times, actually
You see?
240
00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:12,128
Jim, this has your
fingerprints all over it
241
00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:13,296
Andy, you've got
to be kidding me
242
00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:15,548
Fingerprints can be planted
243
00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:16,841
You know
with a severed hand
244
00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:18,051
Do you think
that's what happened?
245
00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:19,302
Do you think he
used a severed hand?
246
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:21,721
Okay, you know what
why don't we just
call Animal Control?
247
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:24,432
You might want to
run that by Angela.
'Cause it's so cute
248
00:11:24,892 --> 00:11:28,311
No. Porcupines
don't have souls
They're like dogs
249
00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:29,354
Yes, I'm calling
from Dunder Mifflin
250
00:11:29,438 --> 00:11:32,190
We have a very rabid
porcupine in our office
251
00:11:32,441 --> 00:11:33,441
Someone should
come pick it up.
252
00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:34,609
Come down right away
253
00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:36,778
I don't know, let me ask
Were you quilled?
254
00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:37,862
Yes, I was quilled
255
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:39,322
And what's its name?
Henrietta
256
00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:40,448
Oh
257
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,242
What? Uh
258
00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:45,245
All right. Get her
out of here, Dwight
259
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:56,548
Hey
260
00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:59,300
Guys, I just wanted to say
Come here.
261
00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:03,221
guys are together. Okay?
262
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,807
And you both have
such beautiful hair
263
00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:07,892
Thank you
264
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:13,565
And who knows?
Maybe at the wedding
I meet someone.
265
00:12:13,941 --> 00:12:14,941
Okay
266
00:12:15,025 --> 00:12:18,069
And later on tonight
I hope I see you guys kiss
267
00:12:21,323 --> 00:12:23,158
Yay.
268
00:12:23,325 --> 00:12:25,744
Okay, well, I'm gonna go do
another reverse spit.
269
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:29,330
That's how the coo
kids say "get a drink.'
270
00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:35,712
That's...
That's the girl you dated?
271
00:12:36,672 --> 00:12:39,883
Yeah, she's not always
like that. It's
272
00:12:40,384 --> 00:12:42,302
No, she seems fun
273
00:12:43,512 --> 00:12:45,638
Yeah, excuse me.
Okay
274
00:12:47,516 --> 00:12:48,516
Hey
Hey
275
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:51,436
Have you had anything to eat
besides candy canes?
276
00:12:51,812 --> 00:12:52,937
Every martini has an olive
277
00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:54,230
Okay
278
00:12:54,648 --> 00:12:56,775
Maybe I should make you
some oatmeal or something
279
00:12:56,859 --> 00:12:59,694
I don't want to put you out
but if someone's
making oatmeal
280
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,029
I'll take an apple cinnamon
281
00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:04,115
and a maple brown sugar
in one bowl with whole milk
282
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,201
Hey, I never told
you my Christmas wish
283
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:07,994
Okay
It's about you.
284
00:13:08,829 --> 00:13:12,207
That's not what it should be
It should just be like
a trinket or something
285
00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:15,710
It's that I wish
Jessica was dead
286
00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:19,714
You mean you wish
she wasn't here or something
287
00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:23,802
I wish she was in a graveyard
under the ground
288
00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:26,179
with worms coming
out of her mouth
289
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:30,308
Hey, you know,
you can't say that, okay?
290
00:13:30,392 --> 00:13:32,727
That's my girlfriend
that you're talking about
291
00:13:32,853 --> 00:13:35,146
You and I are not
together anymore
292
00:13:36,023 --> 00:13:38,691
You need to get over it
Take your wish back.
293
00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:41,653
Too late.
It's already been wished
294
00:13:42,196 --> 00:13:45,406
And you promised
it would come true.
You wrote it in an e-ma
295
00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:49,702
So which one are you
a murderer or a liar?
296
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,088
Hey
Hey
297
00:14:00,464 --> 00:14:02,340
So there was talk of oatmeal
298
00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:10,265
You know, don't listen
to what anyone is saying
299
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:13,059
You look like a princess
300
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:15,019
Yeah
Thanks.
301
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:22,777
Hey, guys, sorry to interrupt I just found this on my desk
302
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,779
and need to talk to
somebody about it
303
00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:26,322
Can you believe that?
304
00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:28,283
Is that Cece?
Yes, it is
305
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,118
Oh, man.
That's awful
306
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:31,786
Cece is Jim's daughter
307
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:33,037
Oh, my God
308
00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:34,539
How could somebody do that?
309
00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:35,790
I know. I mean
the way I see it is
310
00:14:35,916 --> 00:14:37,083
you can deface
any picture of me
311
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:38,793
Any one. Pick one
Not my kid, though
312
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:40,295
Who did this?
Who did this?
313
00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:41,546
Do you know who did this?
I don't
314
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:45,466
Dwight?
Yeah, he did
315
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:46,551
What? No
He should pay.
316
00:14:46,635 --> 00:14:48,469
He is gonna pay
This is fire-able.
317
00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:49,971
Okay
- It's... I mean...
318
00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:51,097
Let me just see
it one more time
319
00:14:51,181 --> 00:14:55,226
You know what?
I know who my friends are now
320
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:56,644
But I shouldn't
have got you involved
321
00:14:56,812 --> 00:14:59,063
Because the truth is
I don't even really
care about this picture
322
00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:00,398
It's a little out of focus
323
00:15:00,482 --> 00:15:01,983
It was probably an accident
right? Like...
324
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:03,359
That's no accident
325
00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:06,988
Right. You're right
So maybe it was me who did it
By accident.
326
00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:09,198
What?
I'll figure it out
327
00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:12,160
Get to the bottom of it
Merry merry.
328
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:16,831
Enough of this garbage
329
00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:20,919
This is Christmas
330
00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:37,245
Christmas
331
00:16:42,876 --> 00:16:44,085
You all right, Santa?
332
00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:45,545
You know those
movies where two friends
333
00:16:45,629 --> 00:16:47,380
are sleeping
together and it's like
334
00:16:47,464 --> 00:16:49,007
hey, can they stay friends?
335
00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:50,174
Yes
336
00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:51,217
Do you think two
friends who are
337
00:16:51,301 --> 00:16:52,593
not sleeping
together can stay friends?
338
00:16:53,303 --> 00:16:55,013
Two friends who are
not sleeping together
339
00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:56,889
can they remain friends?
Yes, yeah.
340
00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:59,559
No. l... I don't know
341
00:16:59,643 --> 00:17:00,810
Okay
By the way
342
00:17:00,936 --> 00:17:03,104
I'm not gonna mess with
your and Dwight's bonuses
343
00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:05,273
causing more problems
344
00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:07,150
So just be yourselves
have fun,
345
00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:09,110
and try not to let
it affect your work
346
00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:11,070
All right
I will definitely do that
347
00:17:11,238 --> 00:17:12,405
All right. I'll tell Dwight
348
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:15,116
You know what?
You're sitting and thinking
349
00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:18,119
And it's probably better
if it comes from me anyway
350
00:17:18,662 --> 00:17:20,371
Christmas miracles do happen
351
00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:22,498
Yes, they totally do
352
00:17:24,918 --> 00:17:26,294
You can't click on
these Kardashian links
353
00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:27,879
That's why you
have so many viruses
354
00:17:27,963 --> 00:17:29,172
Well, help me, okay?
355
00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:30,298
I'm trying, but
356
00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:31,382
You need to...
Kelly
357
00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:33,634
Yo. On it.
Game on
358
00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:42,060
I don't know what
I was thinking,
it was awful. Awful
359
00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:43,644
Jessica, did you just fart?
360
00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,150
And that is how it's done
361
00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:54,739
Let's you and I take a walk
Oscar, you're in charge
of the bar
362
00:17:54,823 --> 00:17:57,366
What? I haven't
bartended in forever
363
00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,453
Never considered
myself a mixologist
364
00:18:01,121 --> 00:18:04,874
Oh, this is daunting.
Um, I need a mortar
pestle, muddler
365
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:06,793
Does anyone have any
chocolate shavings?
366
00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:09,921
Your heart is broken
367
00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:11,839
So's mine
And?
368
00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:13,758
And what?
369
00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:16,052
And do you have any
advice or anything...
370
00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:18,513
Oh, my God.
...to help me feel better?
371
00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:20,181
I've been married thrice
and each
372
00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:22,600
has ended in
an acrimonious divorce
373
00:18:22,684 --> 00:18:25,144
I'm not sure I'm
the best person
to give love advice
374
00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:29,023
I was hoping you were going
to make me feel better
375
00:18:29,399 --> 00:18:33,903
When you do your makeup,
how long does it take usually?
'Cause
376
00:18:33,987 --> 00:18:35,238
It depends
377
00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:38,032
Chad Flenderman's
kryptonite...
378
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,200
Woah
379
00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:41,285
We got a real
Clarence Thomas here
380
00:18:44,873 --> 00:18:45,873
Hi
381
00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:49,794
I'll see you
at home. Okay
Okay, great.
382
00:18:49,878 --> 00:18:51,212
Perfect.
Bye
383
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:53,923
get why you can't
384
00:18:54,007 --> 00:18:55,299
just call her
a cab and pay for it
385
00:18:55,884 --> 00:18:59,011
I would, it just...
That wasn't the holiday wish
386
00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:03,307
Either he drives or I drive
and now I'm drunk and mad
387
00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:06,394
Okay, bye
Okay, bye
388
00:19:07,604 --> 00:19:09,480
All right, come on, Meredith
389
00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:12,024
Bye. Thank you, Santa
390
00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:13,526
You bet
391
00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:15,736
Thank God Erin's getting
a ride home with Robert
392
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:17,405
'cause she is trashed
393
00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:18,990
And who better
to drive her home
than Robert?
394
00:19:19,074 --> 00:19:22,034
a stand up guy, you know
395
00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:25,121
I mean
he's going through a lot.
Separating from his wife
396
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:28,916
showing up at
the Christmas party
in a track suit and a blazer
397
00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:33,963
Let's go, let's go
MEREDITH
I'm coming, I'm coming.
398
00:19:34,047 --> 00:19:35,715
I'm coming, I'm coming
399
00:19:35,799 --> 00:19:37,425
Hang on.
All right
400
00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:41,095
Woah! My stuff
What? What is all that?
401
00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:42,388
It's my valuables
402
00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:43,598
It's junk
403
00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:45,266
This is my treasures
No, they're my treasures
404
00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:46,601
You're a hoarder. My God
405
00:19:46,727 --> 00:19:48,686
No, I'm not!
I'm gonna sell it on eBay
406
00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:50,438
No, no, no, you be careful
407
00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:53,274
Be careful
Ah! My Santa suit's stuck.
408
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:02,283
What are we gonna do
with all that bonus money
Henrietta, huh?
409
00:20:02,451 --> 00:20:04,827
Where are we?
This ain't my street
410
00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:09,332
Oh. This is the posh
part of town, huh?
411
00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:13,836
Oh, my God
412
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:18,216
Wonder what a studio condo
would cost in
this neighborhood.
413
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:20,760
Meredith, shut your
drunk hole right now
414
00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:25,806
Erin, it was
great fun tonight.
415
00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:30,269
Take a few aspirin,
drink a whole lot of water
sleep in in the morning.
416
00:20:32,606 --> 00:20:34,982
Thank you. Good night
417
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:41,614
What are you smiling for?
418
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,033
You thinking
what I'm thinking?
419
00:20:46,203 --> 00:20:48,037
I'm sure I am not
420
00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:50,331
Let's get you home
421
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:52,750
Ow
422
00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:55,419
Take it easy
423
00:21:01,468 --> 00:21:03,261
Oh, man
424
00:21:03,887 --> 00:21:06,097
Fell asleep. Took a nap
425
00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:09,350
Hey, guys I feel refreshed now
426
00:21:09,685 --> 00:21:11,143
How's it going?
Dwight
427
00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:15,523
Took a little nap
right next to Jim's desk.
I feel so good right now
428
00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:17,149
Mmm. Cookies
429
00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:19,235
What's everyone staring at?
430
00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:23,114
Oh, man
I was supposed to
tell Dwight something
431
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:26,492
Come on, Jim
31572
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