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The Sabre
Code of Conduct outlines
the governing principles
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00:00:04,629 --> 00:00:08,966
key to establishing
and maintaining trust
with our employees, clients
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00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:10,718
Oh, my God, kill me
4
00:00:10,802 --> 00:00:13,971
Hey. All right, obviously
we all want to die,
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00:00:14,055 --> 00:00:18,851
but we have to
get through this,
so Gabe, go ahead. It's okay
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00:00:19,227 --> 00:00:21,311
Oh, is it...
Is it okay with you?
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00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:23,564
Because if it's not
you work for me, so
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00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,149
Comply with all
applicable laws
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00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:26,608
regulations
policies and contracts
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00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:27,776
governing our business
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00:00:28,069 --> 00:00:29,194
Be honest, fair...
I'm going to do it
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00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:32,281
...trustworthy in a
your business activities
and relationships
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00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:35,200
Treat one another...
Oh! I'm going into labor
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00:00:35,785 --> 00:00:37,077
Okay. She's going into labor!
Oh, my goodness
15
00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:38,162
Make way, everybody
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00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:40,497
I know it's wrong to
fake going into labor
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00:00:40,623 --> 00:00:42,666
just to get out of things
but sometimes,
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00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:43,917
it's necessary.
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00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:45,419
I'm going into labor
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00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:47,046
But should I
have corn dogs or
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00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:48,756
I'm going into labor
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00:00:48,923 --> 00:00:50,799
Okay
three reasons you are wrong
about True Blood.
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00:00:51,259 --> 00:00:53,135
Number one
I'm going into labor
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00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:57,181
Here we go
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00:00:57,265 --> 00:01:00,392
Hey, guys,
you can't keep saying
you're going into labor
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00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:01,560
Everyone knows
you're full of it.
27
00:01:01,936 --> 00:01:03,062
Yeah
- It's not fair,
you guys.
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00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:04,146
Pitiful.
- So stupid
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00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:05,981
Never cry wolf
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00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:07,858
Okay
Okay.
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00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:11,195
Oh. Oh! Oh, my gosh
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00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:13,238
Oh, my God, Pam
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00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:15,949
I'm really in labor
This is happening
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00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:17,284
Okay, guys
Okay.
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00:01:17,368 --> 00:01:18,577
Here we go.
We'll see you
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00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:20,329
How do you feel?
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00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:21,955
Drive carefully!
Good luck
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Bye!
- Good luck
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00:01:28,379 --> 00:01:29,713
False alarm
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00:01:51,319 --> 00:01:55,030
What? They took
another client from us?
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00:01:55,698 --> 00:01:56,698
Okay, bye
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00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:01,745
Man, business is war
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00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:05,499
Customers, clients,
it's like a war out there
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00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,543
l am a leader
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00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:12,005
but you can only
inspire people so much
in a place like this.
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00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:16,218
So today, I'm turning
the inspire factor up to 1 0
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00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:20,013
With a little
help from my friend,
America's bloodiest battle
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Why even read business books?
We should be studying war.
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00:02:25,353 --> 00:02:27,563
Going to places
like Gettysburg
Where is that?
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00:02:27,897 --> 00:02:28,897
It's right here in PA
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00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:31,275
Ah
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00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:36,238
Well, we should take
a field trip there
I mean, that would be so cool
53
00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:37,698
I wonder if that
bus downstairs is
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00:02:37,782 --> 00:02:40,409
Okay, Andy. We get it
It's a trip to Gettysburg
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00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:43,078
That sounds super inspiring
I'm in!
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00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,913
Gettysburg? Hmm.
Could be interesting
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00:02:45,081 --> 00:02:46,832
Second most northern
battle in the Civil War
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00:02:46,916 --> 00:02:49,626
Actually, it is
the northernmost
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00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:51,003
Ha
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00:02:51,087 --> 00:02:53,422
The Civil War history industry
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00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:57,176
has conveniently
forgotten about
the Battle of Schrute Farms
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00:02:57,552 --> 00:03:01,763
Whatever
I'm over it. It's just
grossly irresponsible.
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00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:03,765
Charge
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00:03:04,225 --> 00:03:05,934
Well, this could be fun
65
00:03:06,477 --> 00:03:08,437
Yeah, well, the bus
has free Wi-Fi
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00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:12,274
and I made special
low sugar lunches
for everyone
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00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:14,693
And is anyone
kosher or halal?
68
00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:15,736
What's the halal option?
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00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:18,614
Dates, tabouleh
and bagel with cream cheese
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00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:19,740
Out
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00:03:19,824 --> 00:03:23,577
You know, it's
the same as the kosher option
There's a lesson in there.
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00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,830
I mean, I can't
force you to go,
you're not my slaves
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00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:28,707
Thanks to Gettysburg
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00:03:28,791 --> 00:03:30,250
But who's coming with me?
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00:03:30,668 --> 00:03:32,377
I'm in
I'm in, too.
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00:03:33,963 --> 00:03:37,132
I guess I'm a sucker
for historical fiction
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00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:39,384
Anyone who's not going
you're dead to me.
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00:03:39,510 --> 00:03:41,470
You're uninvited
I don't want you to come
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00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:44,014
But FYI,
there will be leftover
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00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:45,891
turkey and pesto
sammies in the fridge
81
00:03:45,975 --> 00:03:46,975
Yes
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00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:49,061
One for you
Cool, thanks
83
00:03:49,145 --> 00:03:50,354
And one for you
84
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:51,730
Cool, thanks
85
00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:55,192
Oh! You missed your head
There you go.
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00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:56,568
Phyllis, think fast
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00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:01,365
All right, guys,
a little foreplay
before we do it
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00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:05,744
Fans of Ken Burns' Jazz
will most certainly
enjoy The Civil War.
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00:04:05,828 --> 00:04:07,371
You know, I just got
Limitless on my iPad
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00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:09,081
l bet I could
get it on the TV
91
00:04:09,165 --> 00:04:12,334
Oh, isn't that the one
where the guy
becomes limitless?
92
00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:15,420
It's just not appropriate
If we were going to visit
Bradley Cooper's birthplace
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00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:17,339
I'd be the first
one suggesting that
I'd be rooting for it...
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00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:20,801
Limitless,
Limitless, Limitless,
Limitless, Limitless!
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00:04:20,885 --> 00:04:22,302
All right
all right, all right
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00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:25,347
Here
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00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:27,683
Like it?
- Oh
by the picnic table?
98
00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:29,351
Then you've got to
get the fire pit.
99
00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:31,937
l can't get a fire pit
l have two babies.
100
00:04:32,021 --> 00:04:33,730
But the fire pit
is a no brainer.
Oh, hi there.
101
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:38,193
Hi, Robert. Hey.
Um, how are you doing?
Good to see you again.
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00:04:38,569 --> 00:04:40,529
Where is everyone?
Where is Andy?
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00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:41,863
Andy took some of
the other people
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00:04:42,031 --> 00:04:43,323
on a corporate
retreat to Gettysburg
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00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:48,578
Well, I was hoping
to talk out some ideas
with Andy
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00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:55,544
But what we have
here is perhaps better
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00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:58,839
By not going on the trip
you've shown
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00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:01,216
you're the free
thinkers of the office
109
00:05:01,342 --> 00:05:04,303
Robert, you've got your sheep
and you got your black sheep
110
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:07,097
And I'm not even a sheep
I am on the freaking moon
111
00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:11,226
So, here's what we can do
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00:05:11,936 --> 00:05:12,936
Game changers
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00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:15,814
Changes to the game
such that the game
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00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:18,317
can never be played
the same way again
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00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:22,154
Everyone,
brainstorm some innovations
116
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:25,490
Don't be afraid to
get weird with it.
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00:05:26,951 --> 00:05:28,076
Meredith
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00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:31,538
Excited
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00:05:34,792 --> 00:05:35,917
Okay
120
00:05:46,929 --> 00:05:49,973
You guys, get excited
121
00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:51,266
Movie's almost over
122
00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:56,480
All right, we're here
Limitless can wait.
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00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:00,692
Fun fact. In France
they call Limitless
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00:06:00,818 --> 00:06:02,736
"The Man with
Many Capabilities.'
125
00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:07,949
Whoo-hoo!
Ladies and gentlemen
the 1 800s await you
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00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,161
We can watch
Limitless on the way back
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00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:13,121
I got Source Code
on the way back.
128
00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:16,166
Whoo
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00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:19,503
Where are you going?
130
00:06:20,671 --> 00:06:23,215
Visitors' Center.
Going to grab a map
for the memorials, right?
131
00:06:23,299 --> 00:06:25,217
We're not going to
the Visitors' Center
We're not tourists.
132
00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:26,760
No, of course
we're not tourists
133
00:06:26,844 --> 00:06:29,054
We're just people
that aren't from here
who are taking a tour
134
00:06:29,138 --> 00:06:31,473
Yeah, the sign says
"Begin tour here.'
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00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:35,060
Unless you're going on
the very specially created
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00:06:35,144 --> 00:06:37,729
and meticulously researched
Andy Bernard Tour.
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00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,649
After Chancellorsville
138
00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:44,861
Lee brought his army up
the Shenandoah Valley
right through here
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00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:49,199
They stopped in this
field for a picnic
which they called "lunch.'
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00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:50,951
Yeah
but I'm confused
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00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:52,577
Total deaths
belongs to Gettysburg
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00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:54,913
But when you're
talking about DPA,
that's deaths per acre
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00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:56,998
Uh-huh.
...nothing beats
the Battle of Schrute Farms
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00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,751
Oh, DPA sounds way
more important...
Oh, it is
145
00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:02,587
And you should read
some of these letters
that the soldiers wrote home
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00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:04,798
I mean, it makes
the Battle of Gettysburg
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00:07:04,882 --> 00:07:06,967
sound like
a bunch of schoolgirls
wrestling over a hairbrush
148
00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:13,265
I'm telling you
they're heartbreaking, too
So beautifully written.
149
00:07:13,349 --> 00:07:15,183
Dwight, what are
you telling this girl?
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00:07:15,351 --> 00:07:16,560
The truth
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00:07:16,644 --> 00:07:19,187
Stop filling her head
with nonsense, okay?
She doesn't know any better
152
00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:21,189
Oscar, I'm so glad
you just got here.
153
00:07:21,315 --> 00:07:22,774
I would have
believed everything he said
154
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:25,026
No, no, no.
You're filling her
head with nonsense
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00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:27,529
You and the history books
I'm telling the truth!
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00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:28,822
Interesting
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00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:30,157
Yes, thank you
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00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:32,534
All of history has
been whitewashed
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00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:34,661
Really? Why don't you tell us
the real history, Gore Vidal?
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00:07:35,204 --> 00:07:36,997
Okay, I will.
I don't know who that is
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00:07:37,081 --> 00:07:38,123
but I'm going
to tell you this
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00:07:38,207 --> 00:07:39,166
He's a historian
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00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:42,544
Gettysburg was very important
Credit where
credit is due, okay?
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00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:45,046
Big mad props to Gettysburg
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00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:48,550
Was it, however,
the most northern
battle of the Civil War?
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00:07:48,926 --> 00:07:50,093
Yes, yes
Not by a long shot!
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00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:51,136
Yes
No
168
00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:54,306
No, it was not
No, it was not
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00:07:54,390 --> 00:07:56,057
Was it the second
most northern?
170
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:57,392
What?
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00:07:57,477 --> 00:08:00,145
Sure! I would cede
it was the second
most northern battle
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00:08:00,229 --> 00:08:01,271
Erin
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00:08:01,355 --> 00:08:03,315
Was it the northernmost?
No! Get out of here, Oscar
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00:08:03,399 --> 00:08:04,399
Get out of here
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00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:10,238
I am so eager to
hear your game changers
Let's dig in, shall we?
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00:08:10,406 --> 00:08:12,324
May l go first?
Absolutely
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00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:18,288
Raw fish. The disgusting
food from Japan
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00:08:18,372 --> 00:08:20,040
that Americans
would never want to eat
179
00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:22,083
Now, we can't
get enough of it
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00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:26,588
From movie stars to
construction workers,
sushi is what's for dinner
181
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:33,261
Let me throw
another idea at you
Origami. What?
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00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:37,557
The crazy art of
paper folding from
that's right, Japan.
183
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:40,268
Don't you wish you
could go back to 1980
184
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:43,146
and open the first sushi
restaurant in Manhattan?
185
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:45,732
We can do that with
186
00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:50,445
origami,
it's the sushi of paper
187
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:52,489
This idea hasn't gripped me
188
00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:54,866
What else did
you come up with?
189
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:56,952
I had to memorize
the presentation, Robert
190
00:08:57,119 --> 00:08:59,079
and it took a long time
to build the swan, so.
191
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:00,497
That was bad
192
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:04,042
If your woman is like mine
193
00:09:04,126 --> 00:09:06,795
I bet you come home to hear
the same thing all the time.
194
00:09:07,588 --> 00:09:10,257
"This paper is so hard
It scratches.
195
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:13,051
"Why can't there be
a paper just for me?'
196
00:09:13,135 --> 00:09:14,302
Well, now there is
197
00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:21,685
It's pink
scented and silky soft
198
00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:25,981
Now, you can watch the game
and she can write
a letter to her sister.
199
00:09:27,149 --> 00:09:30,902
The situation you described
returning home to
a wife complaining about
200
00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:33,488
her paper being too masculine
is not one that
I'm familiar with
201
00:09:34,156 --> 00:09:36,825
In the African
American community
No.
202
00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:39,828
Thought it was worth a try
203
00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:42,038
That's fascinating
204
00:09:42,123 --> 00:09:45,000
Tell me
what's the significance of
the peach orchard, though?
205
00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:47,377
Well, that's a great question
Actually, some of the most
206
00:09:47,461 --> 00:09:49,045
Excuse me,
I've got a question for you
207
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:51,840
Can you tell us about
the Battle of Schrute Farms?
208
00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:53,717
Oh, I haven't
heard of that one
209
00:09:53,884 --> 00:09:56,761
Really?
Okay, follow-up question
210
00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:58,513
how much are they paying you
to keep your mouth shut?
211
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:03,226
I apologize for my friend.
And for the Republicans
who are cutting your funding
212
00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:05,228
We don't need to
bother this poor gentleman
213
00:10:05,354 --> 00:10:07,314
l know exactly where
we're going. Giddy-up
214
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:10,525
Tallyho
215
00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:14,112
Are you Lincoln?
216
00:10:14,238 --> 00:10:15,488
No, no, I'm
217
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:20,201
Apparently,
I bear a passing resemblance
to Abraham Lincoln
218
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:21,786
It makes it kind of
hard for me to go to places
219
00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:23,872
like museums,
historical monuments
220
00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:25,999
elementary schools
l don't see it.
221
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,585
Chelsea, give Mr. Lincoln
your hat so I can
take a picture
222
00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:30,462
Okay, quick
223
00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:34,382
Hey, Lincoln's starting
224
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:40,055
Oh, no. No, no, no, no.
I'm actually with
a tour group myself, so
225
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:45,894
Hello, I'm Abraham Lincoln
226
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:49,105
Some people call me
the "Great Emancipator,'
227
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:51,232
but you might know
me from the penny.
228
00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:55,987
Okay, you know
the test booklets
229
00:10:56,072 --> 00:10:57,989
that they give out
in all the schools?
230
00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:00,116
l was thinking that
we could put
a coupon in the back
231
00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:03,078
that people
would mail in to us
232
00:11:03,245 --> 00:11:06,122
And as, you know
as l tell it,
I don't like it
233
00:11:07,375 --> 00:11:09,876
Unless, of course
you are responding to it
l am not.
234
00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:12,087
Um, excuse me, I'm going
to go to the bathroom
235
00:11:13,047 --> 00:11:15,090
At this point
when you're this pregnant
236
00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:17,258
it's kind of
like senior spring
237
00:11:18,135 --> 00:11:20,428
The other day,
I spit my gum
out on the carpet
238
00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:23,056
Kevin. You've been quiet
239
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:26,267
I'm curious to know
what your game changer is
240
00:11:27,103 --> 00:11:28,603
You know how
in the vending machine
241
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:32,774
they have
the chocolate chip cookies
in the A-1 spot?
242
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:34,359
They do that
because they think
243
00:11:34,443 --> 00:11:36,611
A-1 is the best spot
for the best cookie
244
00:11:37,571 --> 00:11:40,615
But the real best spot is D-4
245
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,784
Right? That's where
the eyes go.
246
00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:45,120
So
247
00:11:45,621 --> 00:11:49,457
Cookies. Cookie placement
248
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,419
Yeah. But not just
the cookies, though
249
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,004
That was just a for instance
250
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,590
Who else agrees with Kevin
251
00:11:57,675 --> 00:12:02,470
that we're wasting
facilities, manpower
on our underselling products
252
00:12:02,596 --> 00:12:05,807
when we should be pushing
our top performers?
253
00:12:14,942 --> 00:12:16,735
There you get consensus
254
00:12:17,319 --> 00:12:18,611
Okay, we are
now on a planet where
255
00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:21,114
Kevin is the most
creative person around
256
00:12:21,657 --> 00:12:24,951
and I am just some
good looking guy.
257
00:12:26,036 --> 00:12:27,537
l just don't understand
258
00:12:27,621 --> 00:12:30,665
It's 1865, victory is ours
259
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:35,837
I have saved
the very soul of our nation
and yet, happiness eludes me
260
00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:42,969
Oh, perhaps a trip
to the theater will
enliven my spirits.
261
00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:44,345
No
262
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:49,017
So, another thing
about oatmeal cookies.
Who even wants them?
263
00:12:49,643 --> 00:12:52,896
I mean, I've seen
Toby eat one like once
264
00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:56,649
but other than that
forget it.
265
00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:58,526
Interesting
266
00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:04,824
So what is Dunder
Mifflin's oatmeal cookie?
267
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:07,911
What is the product
that no one wants?
268
00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:11,372
How about that
two-hole punch letter?
269
00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:15,251
Only the lawyers want
that punch at the top,
and they use legal
270
00:13:17,421 --> 00:13:21,716
That's the oatmeal cookie.
Fantastic, Kevin, fantastic
271
00:13:22,092 --> 00:13:23,343
Thank you
272
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:26,095
By the way
did we leave all
the food on the bus?
273
00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:30,141
Let's talk about
food for a second
Food for thought.
274
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:31,810
Yeah, that's what I
had for breakfast,
275
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:33,520
and I think that's
probably why I'm still hungry
276
00:13:33,604 --> 00:13:38,858
Hunger. Hunger for victory
Hunger for honor,
hunger for pride
277
00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:40,568
Hunger for hamburgers
278
00:13:40,694 --> 00:13:42,278
Hunger for
chicken chimichangas
279
00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:43,488
Right, Darryl?
That's good
280
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:48,076
Exactly. Now, do you know
what the Civil War
soldiers were hungry for?
281
00:13:48,744 --> 00:13:51,496
Pride. Now, each
battalion had its own flag
282
00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:53,331
and they guarded these
flags with their lives.
283
00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:57,877
Colonel Harrison Jeffords
of the 4th Michigan Infantry
284
00:13:58,003 --> 00:13:59,921
saw his flag
being carried away
285
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:02,048
chased it down with
nothing but a sword
286
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:07,303
fought tooth and nail
at the foot of that flag
until he died.
287
00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:09,597
He wasn't about to
let them have that flag
288
00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:12,976
Pride. Right, guys?
289
00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:19,357
I commissioned this
flag for Dunder Mifflin
It cost me $200.
290
00:14:19,775 --> 00:14:21,025
Only $200?
291
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:25,822
We are a
branches on this tree.
And from the tree comes paper
292
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:30,326
We're all part of a business
but business is war
293
00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:32,287
What's that I hear?
294
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:37,125
Oh! A rebel paper
company is coming
to take our flag.
295
00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:39,627
What's going on here?
Whee-hoo!
296
00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:43,590
Come and get it!
Who's going to get the flag?
Who's getting it? Whoa, hey
297
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:46,467
Don't look where I am
look where I'm going.
Jerk right, jerk left, jerk
298
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:48,845
Andy, this is inappropriate
People died here, man
299
00:14:49,096 --> 00:14:52,015
Get the flag, get the flag
Come on, Big Tuna.
300
00:14:52,182 --> 00:14:54,517
What are you
going to do about it?
We've got a flag right here
301
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:55,602
Whee-hoo
302
00:14:57,521 --> 00:15:00,273
Spangler's Spring
is a mile this way.
303
00:15:00,357 --> 00:15:05,653
Oh, wow. So, that's
two miles if you
incorporate the walk back
304
00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:09,949
It's... I mean, come on
305
00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:12,285
Oh, I don't think I
should walk anymore
306
00:15:12,369 --> 00:15:14,621
All I had for
breakfast was oatmeal
307
00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:18,166
yogurt, coffee,
orange juice and toast
308
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:21,586
Two poached eggs
and then that half
a sandwich on the bus
309
00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:22,670
l can't
310
00:15:22,838 --> 00:15:24,422
All right, fine
You know what?
311
00:15:24,506 --> 00:15:25,840
I guess this place
just hasn't rubbed off
312
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:27,342
on you the way
that l hoped it would
313
00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:34,390
I'm still going,
and I'm not
going to ask anymore
314
00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:36,559
I'm not even
going to look back
315
00:15:36,685 --> 00:15:38,227
I'm just going to
assume that you're with me
316
00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:49,364
You said you weren't
going to look back.
317
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:53,785
And why is BlackRock
318
00:15:53,869 --> 00:15:58,623
suddenly the paragon by which
all hedge funds
must now be compared?
319
00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:00,917
Yeah, l don't know
320
00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:03,628
Right? I mean,
you're an accountant
321
00:16:03,712 --> 00:16:06,673
those bogus prospectuses
must drive you insane
322
00:16:07,549 --> 00:16:11,219
Yes, I am an accountant
323
00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:15,139
Dwight, this is one
of the archivists here
324
00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:17,058
l thought maybe
we can consult him
325
00:16:17,142 --> 00:16:18,226
Really?
Yeah.
326
00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:21,854
Well, anyone employed
by the Gettysburg
industrial complex
327
00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:23,523
is certainly going
to want to keep quiet
328
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:25,233
about the Battle
of Schrute Farms
329
00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:27,485
Schrute Farms, did you say?
330
00:16:27,569 --> 00:16:30,822
That is a fascinating
little chapter
of the Civil War.
331
00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:31,990
You've heard about it?
332
00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:36,452
Yes! Ha
Prepare to be refuted
Go on, come on
333
00:16:37,287 --> 00:16:38,329
There you go
334
00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:41,833
Families
and sweethearts back home
335
00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:44,293
waited desperately for
letters from the front.
336
00:16:44,962 --> 00:16:49,090
"Dearest Mother,
I'm sorry it has been
so long since my last letter.
337
00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:51,759
"It is three months
since l arrived
at Schrute Farms,
338
00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:56,639
"and I fear I may never
leave this place alive.
Melvyn Fifer Garris."
339
00:16:57,182 --> 00:16:58,641
Hallowed ground
340
00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:02,186
But the battle
at Schrute Farms
was no battle at all.
341
00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:05,815
It was a code
used by pacifists
from both Norte and Soute,
342
00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:07,358
who'd turned
the Pennsylvania farmhouse
343
00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:10,737
into an artistic community
and a refuge from the war.
344
00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:14,532
You have to understand,
poets, artists, dancers,
345
00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:17,744
these kinds of men
preferred peace to war.
346
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:21,539
These delicate, lovely men
found a place of refuge
347
00:17:21,623 --> 00:17:23,583
among the Schrutes
of Schrute Farm.
348
00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:26,294
Amidst the macho
brutality of war,
349
00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:30,882
this was a place
where dandies and dreamers
could put on plays,
350
00:17:30,966 --> 00:17:33,217
sing tender ballads
and dance in the moonlight.
351
00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:37,472
l like to think
of Schrute Farm as
the Underground Railroad
352
00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:41,434
for the sensitive and,
well, fabulous.
353
00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:45,146
Wow, this is so much better
than the story you made up.
354
00:17:45,981 --> 00:17:47,023
I've seen enough
355
00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:49,067
You're right,
there should be
a monument to this
356
00:17:49,651 --> 00:17:53,154
Never trust a cookie
with a woman's name
357
00:17:53,822 --> 00:17:58,159
Pecan Sandy.
Lorna Doone. Madeleine
358
00:17:58,368 --> 00:17:59,368
Oh
359
00:17:59,703 --> 00:18:01,370
They'll just break your heart
360
00:18:04,708 --> 00:18:06,501
Kevin, you are
361
00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:10,088
Robert, I hate to interrupt
but I would love to
pitch you one last idea
362
00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:12,715
l call it the Big Mac idea
363
00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:14,300
What? No
364
00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:15,843
Big Mac idea.
Sounds encouraging
365
00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:18,304
It's really,
really good, Robert
Let me explain
366
00:18:18,388 --> 00:18:20,723
No, this is not fair
This is my idea.
367
00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:23,518
He's trying to steal it
because he's jealous of me
368
00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:26,437
Well, what is the idea?
369
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:31,192
Every time you buy a Big Mac
you set one ingredient aside
370
00:18:31,735 --> 00:18:36,322
Then, at the end of the week
you have a free Big Mac.
371
00:18:36,406 --> 00:18:40,201
And you love it even more
because you made it
with your own hands
372
00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:44,956
You know what? Now I remember
That was your idea
373
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,542
That is 1 00% your idea
374
00:18:50,170 --> 00:18:51,838
Oh, my
375
00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:56,384
It was just actually
cookies the whole time
376
00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:01,055
Damn it
Hey
377
00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:05,726
You guys came
Where's everyone else?
378
00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:08,521
Back at the bus
We were locked out
379
00:19:08,605 --> 00:19:10,898
Phyllis is
sitting on the ground
eating a dirty sandwich
380
00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:13,401
Yeah, I asked
the bus driver to lock it
381
00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:15,444
because our
stuff was in there.
I guess he follows orders
382
00:19:15,904 --> 00:19:18,990
Yeah, sorry
everybody else didn't come
I think they're just tired.
383
00:19:19,074 --> 00:19:21,576
With holes in their
shoes and their dysentery
384
00:19:22,369 --> 00:19:24,120
Even without an audience
you're still at it.
385
00:19:24,621 --> 00:19:25,621
What are you talking about?
386
00:19:25,747 --> 00:19:30,084
Our office has a disease,
and it goes by many names
387
00:19:30,335 --> 00:19:34,380
Sarcasm, snark, "wisecracks.'
388
00:19:34,715 --> 00:19:36,507
You take things
that people care about
389
00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:39,844
and you make them
feel lame about it
with your jokes.
390
00:19:39,928 --> 00:19:41,596
That's what you
did with this trip
391
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:45,516
Andy, this whole
idea of our situation
392
00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:48,019
being just like war
it's just not true
393
00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:49,937
We just work at
a paper company
394
00:19:50,063 --> 00:19:51,647
and you're our
regional manager
395
00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:55,067
And guess what, man?
You don't have
to prove anything
396
00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:58,196
We like you as
regional manager
397
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:01,240
Andy, if you don't believe me
take a look at
what's on my head.
398
00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:03,284
I'm wearing a very pink hat
399
00:20:03,660 --> 00:20:06,454
I've been getting
weird looks all day,
because I'm pretty sure
400
00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:08,915
"DM does GB
means something
kind of sexual
401
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:11,709
But guess who's wearing them?
All of us.
402
00:20:11,835 --> 00:20:14,378
Just for you, man
That's huge
403
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:17,548
You don't like the hats?
404
00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:18,633
They're terrible
405
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:19,800
l hate myself
406
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:23,429
They just didn't
turn out how I wanted
In my head, they were cooler
407
00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:24,513
But they do look weird
408
00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:27,225
The world
will little note
409
00:20:27,309 --> 00:20:29,602
nor long
remember the fight that
410
00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:31,979
Jim and I had
here at Gettysburg.
411
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:34,774
And that's good,
because l was basically wrong.
412
00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:39,445
I wanted my team
to be like this army
and I was their general
413
00:20:39,529 --> 00:20:40,905
but l guess it's
really just more like
414
00:20:40,989 --> 00:20:43,824
they're people who
work in an office
and I'm their manager
415
00:20:45,285 --> 00:20:49,330
Yeah, that's really
probably a better analogy
Now that I think about it.
416
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:54,502
Abe and Mary are
seated watching the show
417
00:20:56,463 --> 00:20:59,507
Oh, Mary, this is wonderful
418
00:21:00,550 --> 00:21:03,970
Okay, Mary, stop your
scolding. I'll be quiet.
419
00:21:05,180 --> 00:21:08,182
l need her like l need
a hole in the head
420
00:21:12,312 --> 00:21:14,021
Mmm. Oh
421
00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:17,775
Bang!
33077
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