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1
00:00:01,134 --> 00:00:03,103
Everybody, can I please
have your attention?
2
00:00:03,403 --> 00:00:06,066
Ryan and I have
a huge announcement.
3
00:00:06,139 --> 00:00:08,506
Oh, my gosh!
PAM: Wow.
4
00:00:08,575 --> 00:00:12,342
Over the weekend,
Ryan Bailey Howard
and I got divorced.
5
00:00:12,646 --> 00:00:14,274
Sweet.
Free ring.
6
00:00:15,415 --> 00:00:17,884
Divorced?
Just so you know,
it's totally amicable.
7
00:00:17,951 --> 00:00:20,785
We're fine.
We don't need people
here to take sides.
8
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,982
The last thing that
we want is any
kind of drama.
9
00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:26,284
Wait, I...
Can you back up?
What's the story?
10
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,295
We were having
a beautiful weekend
in the Poconos.
11
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:30,228
We were making
love constantly.
12
00:00:30,297 --> 00:00:32,960
We saw the sun
rise, and Ryan
was crying a lot.
13
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,467
That's not
a relevant detail.
And in the morning,
14
00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:36,026
we walked
by a chapel,
15
00:00:36,136 --> 00:00:38,696
and we stopped suddenly,
and Ryan said,
16
00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:40,764
"I don't think
I should be married
to you anymore."
17
00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:45,274
Wait...
Sorry, when did
you get married?
18
00:00:45,412 --> 00:00:48,610
Um, like, a week ago.
We got really wasted,
and it just felt right.
19
00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:50,082
And you didn't
invite any of us?
20
00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:51,880
We are getting
divorced, Andy!
21
00:00:51,952 --> 00:00:54,080
This is such a raw time.
22
00:00:54,154 --> 00:00:56,089
God, baby, you know,
with people's
reactions to this,
23
00:00:56,156 --> 00:00:57,715
I wonder if we
made a mistake.
24
00:00:57,958 --> 00:01:00,484
No, with the messed
up laws in this country,
25
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:03,793
I don't want to be
married until everyone
can be married.
26
00:01:03,864 --> 00:01:05,025
You know what, Ryan?
27
00:01:05,098 --> 00:01:06,691
I talked to the
other gay guys,
28
00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:09,066
and we're okay with it.
We all agreed it's fine
for you to get married.
29
00:01:09,136 --> 00:01:12,004
No. No, Oscar.
Not until everyone can.
30
00:01:12,306 --> 00:01:13,433
KELLY: Ryan,
I changed my mind.
31
00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:14,597
Okay, fine.
You know what?
32
00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:16,109
This actually isn't
amicable at all,
33
00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:18,441
and we actually
do need people
to take sides.
34
00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:19,536
Who's on my side?
35
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:24,146
And who is on my side?
36
00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:51,140
All right, bye.
Bye.
37
00:01:51,211 --> 00:01:52,907
Let's go.
Just a minute!
38
00:01:52,980 --> 00:01:55,211
How long do we
have to wait?
For what?
39
00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:56,983
You broke up with
A.J. weeks ago.
40
00:01:57,351 --> 00:01:59,013
Don't you have a
sales call to go on?
41
00:01:59,086 --> 00:02:00,679
I don't understand.
I really don't.
42
00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:03,849
I mean, we know we're
gonna start dating.
Why not now?
43
00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:05,358
We don't know that.
Sure we do.
44
00:02:05,425 --> 00:02:07,917
Why is it such a certainty
that we're supposed
to be together?
45
00:02:07,995 --> 00:02:09,759
Why does the sun
rise in the morning?
46
00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:11,594
Why do magnets
stick together?
47
00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:13,998
Because everybody
says so. Everybody.
48
00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:16,434
Michael, I can't keep
getting into a situation
49
00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:18,768
where I date whoever
I'm working with.
50
00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:20,464
Well, you could
understand that.
51
00:02:20,540 --> 00:02:22,475
Yeah, I understand.
I just don't agree.
52
00:02:22,542 --> 00:02:25,102
Well, you don't
have to agree.
Yes, I do.
53
00:02:25,412 --> 00:02:27,813
No, you don't.
Yes, I do.
54
00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,247
No, you can have
your own opinion,
55
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:30,579
and I can have mine.
MICHAEL: I have my
own opinion,
56
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,916
and my opinion is
to disagree with you.
57
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,319
He's gonna be
a lot of fun to drive
around in a car with.
58
00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:37,051
Oh, you'll get
through it, hon.
59
00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:40,060
Just make a
game out of it.
A funny Jim game.
60
00:02:41,561 --> 00:02:43,587
That's it?
That's all I get?
61
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:46,190
Even after all the hard
work I put into celebrating
your talent today.
62
00:02:47,134 --> 00:02:48,261
All right,
what'd you do?
63
00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:50,600
Well, those
things that you
consider doodles,
64
00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:51,798
I consider art.
65
00:02:54,975 --> 00:02:56,876
Where'd you put it?
Where'd I put what?
66
00:02:56,943 --> 00:02:58,809
Let's go.
Oh, sorry. I gotta go.
67
00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:00,210
Say it. Where?
Okay, fine.
68
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:03,444
Three hints. One,
when you're getting colder,
you're really getting warmer.
69
00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:04,917
The fridge.
Two!
70
00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:07,648
You have a better chance
if you think Bob Vance.
71
00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,087
The fridge, got it.
And the final clue...
72
00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:10,954
MICHAEL: Let's go!
You know what?
Just think about it.
73
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,822
You'll be fine.
Bye.
74
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,017
75
00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,524
ERIN: Holly is ruiningMichael's life.
76
00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:20,356
He thinks she's
so special.
77
00:03:20,434 --> 00:03:22,596
And she's so not.
78
00:03:22,669 --> 00:03:26,162
Her personality is like
a three, her sense
of humor is a two,
79
00:03:26,239 --> 00:03:29,732
her ears are like
a seven and a four.
80
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:32,678
Add it all up,
and what do you get? 16.
81
00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:34,908
And he treats her
like she's a perfect 40.
82
00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:36,313
It's nuts.
83
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:44,290
Cheer up.
We made a sale.
84
00:03:44,357 --> 00:03:46,121
Just drive faster.
I wanna get back.
85
00:03:46,193 --> 00:03:49,391
Well, I'm going
the speed limit.
Okay, fine.
86
00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:50,964
My feelings don't
matter to you.
87
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:53,091
What matters to you
is your precious
speed limit.
88
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:54,890
Someone's in a bad mood.
89
00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:56,368
No, I'm not.
90
00:03:57,804 --> 00:03:59,670
I'm not in
a bad mood.
91
00:04:01,541 --> 00:04:03,669
I'm not,
Jim. Hello?
92
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:07,680
Okay, fine, ignore me.
Have it your way.
93
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:10,343
Let's just talk
about you as always.
94
00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:13,414
Sex different after
the baby, Jim?
95
00:04:13,487 --> 00:04:15,683
All right, let me turn
on some music.
I need to pee!
96
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:18,055
No, you don't.
Yeah, I do. My
word against yours.
97
00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:19,616
All right, well, we'll
be there in 10 minutes.
98
00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:23,494
What part of
"I need to pee" do
you not understand?
99
00:04:23,563 --> 00:04:25,555
I'm upset,
my bladder is full,
100
00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:28,932
there is no
telling what I
might do right now
101
00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:31,733
all over the inside
of your precious
little car.
102
00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:34,274
All right. Well,
if I see a gas station,
I'll pull over.
103
00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:36,207
Well, I hope
I make it.
104
00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:38,401
105
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:41,208
Hello?
Hi, Jim, it's Helene.
106
00:04:42,249 --> 00:04:44,275
Hey, Helene.
Is everything okay?
107
00:04:44,351 --> 00:04:46,217
Everything's fine.Baby's fine.
108
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,687
She has a tiny fever.I'm taking herfor a checkup.
109
00:04:48,755 --> 00:04:49,916
Nothing to worry about.
110
00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:51,549
Okay.
111
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:54,891
A tiny thing.I locked herin the car.
112
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:55,951
What?
113
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:57,964
She's smiling.She's happy.
Oh, my God.
114
00:04:58,031 --> 00:05:00,398
Jim, I don't havea spare key.
Oh, my God.
115
00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:03,368
Just stay there.
I'll be there in
one second.
116
00:05:03,436 --> 00:05:04,665
Michael!
117
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,035
Michael!
118
00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:10,568
Excuse me, sir,
there's a... There's
a guy in the bathroom.
119
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,806
He's coming out,
but I have to go,
'cause it's an emergency.
120
00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:14,370
Will you just tell him
to call the office?
121
00:05:14,447 --> 00:05:16,279
Just call...
Call the office.
122
00:05:16,349 --> 00:05:18,011
Thank you! Please?
123
00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:29,085
Hello?
124
00:05:36,436 --> 00:05:37,426
125
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:50,381
126
00:05:52,552 --> 00:05:54,077
This is Pam.
JIM: Hey, it's me.
127
00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:56,316
So, don't worry.Everything's okay.
128
00:05:56,389 --> 00:05:58,358
What's wrong?
Nothing,absolutely nothing.
129
00:05:58,425 --> 00:06:00,451
But you're not holdinga cup of coffee oranything, are you?
130
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:04,191
Jim, what?
Uh, okay. So, Cece hada little bit of a fever,
131
00:06:04,264 --> 00:06:06,290
and your mom alsolocked her in the car.
132
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,198
Oh, God. What?
No, no, no,it's okay.
133
00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:11,568
So, Cece's with Daddynow, and she is laughingand she's happy,
134
00:06:11,638 --> 00:06:13,197
and we're on our wayto see Dr. Barbara.
135
00:06:13,273 --> 00:06:14,571
Okay, so she's okay?
136
00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:17,201
Yes, and yourmom got a verywell-deserved day off.
137
00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:21,681
So, here's the thing,though, I left Michael atthe gas station on Bennett.
138
00:06:21,748 --> 00:06:22,807
Understood.
139
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,977
And his wallet andphone are on theseat next to me.
140
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,212
Got it.
141
00:06:26,286 --> 00:06:28,152
I will put
out an A.P.B.,
142
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:31,214
otherwise known as
an "Ask Pam Beesly."
143
00:06:34,327 --> 00:06:36,387
Did the phone
cut out?
Nope.
144
00:06:36,463 --> 00:06:38,898
All right, just call
me after the doctor.
Okay.
145
00:06:38,965 --> 00:06:40,228
All right, bye.
Bye.
146
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:43,162
I know, I know.
You have a phone
policy. I understand.
147
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:46,001
But this is an emergency,
because my friend isn't here,
148
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:49,634
and I'm worried that
he has been abducted.
149
00:06:49,809 --> 00:06:50,936
No.
And...
150
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:53,640
No, he ditched you, man.
I saw him drive away.
151
00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:55,341
There's no way
he ditched me.
152
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:56,713
There's no way
that happened.
153
00:06:56,783 --> 00:06:59,753
He's my... Okay.
May I please just use
your phone? Please?
154
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,782
Just make it quick.
Thank you. Okay.
155
00:07:01,888 --> 00:07:04,551
I will make it quick.
I will make it very quick.
156
00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:07,617
And you don't have my
numbers on speed dial.
157
00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:10,097
Okay, what is it?
158
00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:13,530
You don't know.
You don't...
You know what?
159
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,569
I could dial 411,
get Jim's number...
160
00:07:15,635 --> 00:07:18,298
He left you here
on purpose,
161
00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:19,737
all right? I saw it.
162
00:07:20,206 --> 00:07:22,141
He just drove away.
163
00:07:22,208 --> 00:07:23,335
MICHAEL: Actually,this is good.
164
00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:26,847
I am going to take
this opportunity
165
00:07:26,913 --> 00:07:28,506
to go walk about.
166
00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:32,116
Good, good.
167
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:35,989
No, get away.
168
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:37,718
No. That's enough.
169
00:07:38,758 --> 00:07:39,851
Okay.
170
00:07:42,696 --> 00:07:43,789
Okay.
171
00:07:44,564 --> 00:07:46,294
It's the gas station
on Bennett Street?
Yeah.
172
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:49,062
You know what?
Why don't you
stay and I'll go?
173
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:50,694
Oh, no, no, no,
I'll be fine.
174
00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:53,433
It's kind of a sketchy
neighborhood, though.
I better come along.
175
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,207
Problem solved,
everyone.
176
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:58,439
Space Orphan and
Princess Nincompoop are
off to rescue Michael.
177
00:07:58,511 --> 00:08:00,707
Unbelievable.
I'm going.
178
00:08:00,780 --> 00:08:04,273
You drive. I got a
car full of fox meat.
179
00:08:06,753 --> 00:08:07,846
Cute.
180
00:08:13,626 --> 00:08:15,492
Very funny, everyone.
181
00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:17,121
Who wrote captions
under my doodle?
182
00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:20,257
I'm not even kidding.
They're pretty good.
183
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,199
Which one
in particular?
Yeah, which one?
184
00:08:22,268 --> 00:08:25,568
Well, the first one
has a surprise factor.
185
00:08:25,638 --> 00:08:27,504
"I'm a suck, suck,
suckity Sabre."
186
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:28,699
Booya!
187
00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:31,438
No. No, no.
No, no, no.
188
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:34,811
But I suppose the
second one is the
better written line.
189
00:08:34,881 --> 00:08:36,941
You suppose?
What's it say?
190
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,815
"I'm supposed to
be wearing red gloves,
191
00:08:38,885 --> 00:08:41,616
"but my color cartridge
portal got jammed again."
192
00:08:41,788 --> 00:08:44,417
Okay. No, no,
no, no, no.
193
00:08:44,491 --> 00:08:45,823
Gloves.
Keep it real.
194
00:08:45,892 --> 00:08:48,088
You guys, if I knew
you wanted to do
a caption contest,
195
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:49,652
I would have
drawn something
more challenging.
196
00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:52,756
And I will take
you all down.
You?
197
00:08:53,166 --> 00:08:54,600
I've been reading the
comics to my daughter
198
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:56,067
since she was
three years old.
199
00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:58,867
Not once have I
used the real captions
to Family Circus.
200
00:08:58,938 --> 00:09:02,568
That crazy family
is hilarious to her
for one reason, me.
201
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:07,539
It is on like Genghis Khan
wearing Sean John in Bhutan.
202
00:09:07,614 --> 00:09:10,140
Yes. You guys,
I have the perfect idea.
203
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:12,481
Okay, it'll just take
me 10 minutes.
204
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,384
KEVIN: All right.
ANDY: I want to do it.
205
00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:19,984
Male, Caucasian,
40s, black hair,
facial type, marsupial.
206
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,120
He answers to Michael,
Michael G. Scott,
207
00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:24,562
Michael J. Fox, Mr. Fox,
the Incredible Mr. Fox...
208
00:09:24,631 --> 00:09:26,463
Yeah, he just left.
Which way did he go?
209
00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:28,866
Okay, hey, hey, hey,
let me answer this.
210
00:09:28,935 --> 00:09:32,303
Stupid question.
He went back to the office,
obviously, which is that way.
211
00:09:32,372 --> 00:09:36,173
Oh, really? You don't think
he walked by that bakery
just for the smell of it?
212
00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:39,008
She's right.
He went that way.
213
00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:42,043
All right.
214
00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:45,677
Don't get a swelled
head. You're no
tracker.
215
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,118
Let's ride.
216
00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:04,393
217
00:10:04,504 --> 00:10:06,336
Hey, you guys.
Listen to me.
218
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:08,739
Don't get hung up
on just one girl,
219
00:10:08,808 --> 00:10:11,471
because there are
a lot of other
girls out there.
220
00:10:11,544 --> 00:10:13,308
Look over there. See?
221
00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:15,405
They look cute.
222
00:10:15,482 --> 00:10:17,383
Hello.
223
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,612
You guys are
so beautiful.
224
00:10:19,686 --> 00:10:20,813
You're so colorful.
225
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:24,086
I wish I could
understand you.
226
00:10:24,390 --> 00:10:26,359
That's a metaphor,
I guess.
227
00:10:26,926 --> 00:10:30,624
You are disgusting.
You'll never find love.
228
00:10:30,697 --> 00:10:31,960
229
00:10:32,031 --> 00:10:34,967
Do you think she needs
more time, or it's just
never gonna happen?
230
00:10:35,034 --> 00:10:37,162
I'm being serious.
Seriously.
231
00:10:37,237 --> 00:10:39,536
Dunder Mifflin. This is Pam.
Has Michael
checked in?
232
00:10:39,706 --> 00:10:42,141
Oh, hey, Dwight.
I asked youa question.
233
00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:43,972
No, he hasn't.
Okay, bye.
234
00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:45,773
No, wait. Hey,
while you're out,
235
00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:48,076
could you pick up
some paper towels
and chocolate syrup?
236
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:49,446
We have ice cream,so I thought we could...
237
00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:50,916
Pam, this isn't
a shopping trip.
No.
238
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,816
This is a
manhunt/rescue mission.
239
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:55,685
Okay, I just... When
you're done, or any
time it's convenient,
240
00:10:55,755 --> 00:10:56,848
I just thought
since you're out...
241
00:10:56,923 --> 00:10:59,415
Pam, I'm obviously gonna
get that stuff for you,
so just shut up. God.
242
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,461
Okay, well, it wasn't...
243
00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:05,194
No word from Michael.
244
00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:06,255
245
00:11:07,066 --> 00:11:08,056
Ta-daa!
246
00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:13,198
Okay, it's two giant dogs
with two giant palm trees
247
00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:15,003
on a regular-sized island.
248
00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:16,372
Oh, I got one.
Yeah?
249
00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:18,268
Yes.
GABE: Okay,
I'm sorry,
250
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:19,903
but I'm gonna have
to shut this down.
251
00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:21,340
BOTH: Why?
252
00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:23,781
Unless we can all agree
to some ground rules.
253
00:11:23,950 --> 00:11:26,476
It's either that, or
I can fax this to Jo
254
00:11:26,553 --> 00:11:27,953
and let her decide
how to proceed.
255
00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:31,958
Gabe, tell us your
stupid rules so we
can start the game.
256
00:11:32,091 --> 00:11:33,957
Number one, and this
should be obvious,
257
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:36,394
no captions that
insult the company
we work for.
258
00:11:36,462 --> 00:11:38,226
Irony is such
a critical...
259
00:11:38,298 --> 00:11:39,960
Number two,
260
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,434
no pop
culture references.
261
00:11:42,502 --> 00:11:44,027
Seriously?
Wow.
262
00:11:44,103 --> 00:11:46,299
I think we can
all agree they tend
to alienate those
263
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:49,308
who don't get the
reference, making them
feel like the other.
264
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:50,809
Wrap it up, Gabe.
265
00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:53,346
Okay, final thing,
and this is a fun one,
266
00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:55,973
instead of writing
the caption directly
under the picture,
267
00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:59,216
let's all try using
Sticky Quips.
268
00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:01,811
All right? New from
Dunder Mifflin Sabre.
269
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:05,825
Sticky Quips are fun.
They're safe.
They're handy.
270
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,918
I like to use Sticky Quips
as regular Post-it notes
271
00:12:07,994 --> 00:12:10,054
when I'm in
a fun mood.
272
00:12:10,129 --> 00:12:11,495
Not every day.
273
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,328
Go get 'em.
Start quipping.
274
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:14,523
Hmm.
275
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:17,898
Pam, I think I'm
gonna send you an IM.
276
00:12:18,504 --> 00:12:20,029
Oh, okay.
277
00:12:20,106 --> 00:12:22,041
Send me one, too.
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
put me on that.
278
00:12:22,108 --> 00:12:23,940
PHYLLIS: Cc.
DARRYL: Ditto.
279
00:12:26,112 --> 00:12:28,980
Hello.
I would like a hot
dog, please.
280
00:12:29,515 --> 00:12:30,608
Now, I don't have any money,
281
00:12:31,117 --> 00:12:33,109
so here is what
I would like to do.
282
00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:35,951
I leave you here
with my watch,
283
00:12:36,022 --> 00:12:38,423
and I come back later
and I pay for the hot dog.
284
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:39,857
I'm not a pawn shop.
285
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:43,693
Well, I understand that,
but this is a $45 watch.
286
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:47,632
Wow.
With that, I could
buy half the menu.
287
00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:50,099
I can't just go giving
away hot dogs.
All right.
288
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,769
What do you do
with the hot dogs
that you don't sell?
289
00:12:52,839 --> 00:12:54,364
Throw 'em away.
Well, okay,
290
00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:55,772
instead of throwing
them all away later,
291
00:12:55,842 --> 00:12:57,936
why don't you just
throw one away
now into my mouth?
292
00:12:58,244 --> 00:12:59,268
No.
293
00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:01,837
Okay. You've just
lost my business.
294
00:13:03,549 --> 00:13:04,710
295
00:13:10,823 --> 00:13:12,382
Hey.
Hey, you were
in there forever.
296
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:14,461
There's too many
brands. Where's Holly?
297
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,859
She wandered
off like an idiot.
298
00:13:17,930 --> 00:13:18,954
Hey.
Hey.
299
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:21,661
What are you doing?
Just changing my
cell phone plan.
300
00:13:21,734 --> 00:13:23,896
Okay. Okay.
Here you go.
301
00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:26,033
I'll take my free
stress ball too now.
302
00:13:26,105 --> 00:13:28,074
Sure thing.
Here you go, Miss...
303
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,110
Okay, Fanny Smellmore.
304
00:13:30,176 --> 00:13:31,644
Real original.
What?
305
00:13:31,711 --> 00:13:34,146
You know what?
Say hi to Orville
Tootenbacher for me.
306
00:13:34,213 --> 00:13:35,681
Tootenbacher.
307
00:13:36,282 --> 00:13:38,717
Orville Tootenbacher,
that's Michael's
millionaire character that
308
00:13:38,785 --> 00:13:40,219
farts popcorn.
Farts popcorn.
309
00:13:40,286 --> 00:13:42,221
Of course.
He was here.
310
00:13:42,288 --> 00:13:44,382
She's the key.
Amazing.
311
00:13:46,693 --> 00:13:47,854
Holly.
312
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:50,555
Hey, where would
you like to go next?
313
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:52,425
Holly?
314
00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:57,961
Are their egg rolls
really that big?
315
00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:01,174
Oh, boy. That was yummy.
316
00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:03,038
Thank you so much.
317
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:12,311
You know what?
I think I left my
wallet in my car.
318
00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:13,614
Do you mind if
I run out and get it?
319
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:14,847
No problem.
Okay.
320
00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:17,118
I'll be right back.
321
00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:24,397
God! Okay,
you know what?
322
00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:25,932
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
323
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:31,703
I don't have my wallet.
And I was...
324
00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:35,037
I was gonna try
to dine and dash,
and that was stupid,
325
00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:37,304
and I realize
I can't do that to
you fine people.
326
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:38,640
So, you can't pay
for your food?
327
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:41,840
Well, I can,
but I will have to
come back later tonight
328
00:14:41,914 --> 00:14:43,610
and pay you.
329
00:14:43,683 --> 00:14:45,948
But the point is I
did the right thing.
330
00:14:46,085 --> 00:14:47,348
You did not.
331
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:49,787
You have no money,
but you dined, and
you dined so much.
332
00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:53,190
Well, the number three
is not such a giant feast.
333
00:14:53,292 --> 00:14:54,920
Mr. Choo!
Okay.
334
00:14:54,994 --> 00:14:56,553
All right.
You know what?
335
00:14:56,629 --> 00:15:00,088
You're trying to
steal food from us?
I am not.
336
00:15:00,166 --> 00:15:03,000
I just have had
a bad day, and I...
337
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:07,904
Okay. I'll be back later
with the money. I'm just
gonna leave right now.
338
00:15:07,974 --> 00:15:09,203
You can't.
We'll stop you.
339
00:15:09,275 --> 00:15:12,074
Well, I think I can
get through the door.
340
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:20,712
Excuse me,
do you speak English?
341
00:15:21,220 --> 00:15:22,848
We are looking
for a man,
342
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:26,450
Michael, this tall,
black hair, Caucasian.
343
00:15:26,526 --> 00:15:27,994
It's Michael!
344
00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:32,798
He just left.
345
00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:35,528
You knew.
What?
346
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:37,399
No. Dwight asked if
I wanted an egg roll.
347
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:38,938
What... What are
you implying?
348
00:15:39,071 --> 00:15:40,733
Uncanny.
349
00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:41,866
Put a pin in that.
350
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:42,965
Which way did he go?
351
00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:46,404
That guy,
when he leave here,
352
00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:49,381
which way did he go?
We looking for him.
353
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:53,011
This way? This way?
This way? I don't know.
Do you know?
354
00:15:53,085 --> 00:15:54,713
I think he was
heading downtown.
355
00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:58,422
He's heading downtown.
356
00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:05,389
So what, no one's
even gonna try?
357
00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:07,590
Guess not.
Oh, come on.
358
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:10,495
My rules could not possibly
have been that oppressive.
359
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:12,368
You crushed
our spirits, Gabe.
360
00:16:12,438 --> 00:16:15,169
Congrats. You're
a big man, huh?
361
00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:19,777
Takes a lot to
destroy the creativity of
a whole group of people.
362
00:16:21,781 --> 00:16:22,771
363
00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:24,283
364
00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:27,380
Hey...
365
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,352
Click the "X."
I'm clicking!
366
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:37,294
In the box.
I am clicking.
367
00:16:37,363 --> 00:16:39,264
Woman, you've had
a computer for years!
Phyllis!
368
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:40,356
Too late!
369
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:45,835
Oh, huh, an IM
chat. Very clever.
I'll just print that out.
370
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,102
Come on, guys.
Grow up.
371
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,835
I don't want to
be your babysitter.
372
00:16:55,214 --> 00:16:56,409
373
00:17:11,998 --> 00:17:15,093
"Darn it, Bob, I told
you not to buy a
Sabre brand lifeboat."
374
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:17,032
375
00:17:17,103 --> 00:17:18,799
Nice!
GABE: No, not nice.
376
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,305
Terrible.
377
00:17:20,373 --> 00:17:22,399
Doesn't even include
the fact that they're dogs.
378
00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:24,376
Do the next one.
"Wake up, Fred.
379
00:17:24,443 --> 00:17:27,607
"The power cord on
your Sabre printer
shocked you into a coma,
380
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:29,842
"and you're dreaming
you're a dog on
a desert island."
381
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:32,450
Dreaming he's a dog
on an island.
382
00:17:33,152 --> 00:17:34,313
Uh, excuse me,
excuse me.
383
00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:36,947
How does the speaker
know what the guy
in the coma is dreaming?
384
00:17:37,023 --> 00:17:39,322
Well, if you think
it's so easy, Gabe,
why don't you try it?
385
00:17:39,825 --> 00:17:40,815
Um...
386
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:43,829
You don't have
to sniff my rear
end anymore, Bob.
387
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:45,626
I'm the only
one here.
388
00:17:45,698 --> 00:17:46,961
That's tasteless, Gabe.
389
00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:48,433
Tasteless?
Tasteless.
390
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:49,560
GABE: More tasteless
than this?
391
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:52,195
"Is that a palm tree,
or did Gabe get skinnier?
392
00:17:52,271 --> 00:17:53,637
"Either way,
let's pee on it."
393
00:17:53,973 --> 00:17:55,532
I like that.
394
00:17:58,110 --> 00:18:00,375
Ladies and gentlemen,
I think we have a winner.
395
00:18:00,446 --> 00:18:02,074
Yes.
KEVIN: Yes.
Well done!
396
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:03,807
Whose is it?
Who wrote that?
397
00:18:04,216 --> 00:18:05,946
Yeah. Who wrote it?
398
00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:12,448
Please. It was easy once
I decided I wanted
the dog to piss on Gabe.
399
00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:15,556
Where did he
go, Holly?
400
00:18:15,661 --> 00:18:17,152
I have no idea.
401
00:18:17,229 --> 00:18:19,824
Do you see a little
clown that you
wanna follow, huh?
402
00:18:19,899 --> 00:18:22,733
Is there a little bird
that's chirping to you,
"This way, this way"?
403
00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:24,395
I don't know.
404
00:18:24,470 --> 00:18:25,665
Okay. Close your eyes.
405
00:18:25,738 --> 00:18:28,867
We need you to think.
What is Michael
seeing right now?
406
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:30,933
Can you tell him
that we miss him?
407
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:32,171
Michael, we're
coming for you!
408
00:18:32,244 --> 00:18:33,234
Will you stop?
409
00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:35,747
There have been
a few coincidences,
that's all!
410
00:18:36,148 --> 00:18:37,514
All right, then.
411
00:18:37,583 --> 00:18:39,711
Someone propose
a plan.
Okay.
412
00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:41,981
We fan out...
Not you, Erin.
413
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:44,613
Stop looking
at me like that.
414
00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:47,854
Okay, look, let's just
go up somewhere high
415
00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:49,793
and see if we could spot
him on the street below.
416
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:52,329
That is the stupidest
idea I've ever heard. No.
417
00:18:52,398 --> 00:18:55,698
Tap into your common
mind, and tell us
what he would do next.
418
00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:59,068
Look, I'm not playing.
I'm gonna go look for him.
419
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,333
420
00:19:00,406 --> 00:19:02,739
Good. We
don't need her.
Right.
421
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:05,277
I can do this on my own.
I can think like Michael.
422
00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:07,506
All right...
423
00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:09,981
I'm deep below the
ocean's surface
in a submarine.
424
00:19:10,049 --> 00:19:11,483
A torpedo's coming
right at me.
425
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:15,254
No. Damn it, that's
just my own imagination.
426
00:19:16,956 --> 00:19:18,686
Maybe he's bowling.
427
00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:54,755
Michael?
428
00:19:57,630 --> 00:19:58,654
Hi.
429
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,669
How did you know
I was up here?
430
00:20:03,736 --> 00:20:04,999
What are you
doing up here?
431
00:20:05,071 --> 00:20:06,095
I got turned around.
432
00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:08,368
I thought I could
see Dunder Mifflin.
Dunder Mifflin?
433
00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:11,471
Yeah.
434
00:20:11,744 --> 00:20:12,803
Wow!
435
00:20:17,016 --> 00:20:19,008
I just miss
you so much.
436
00:20:25,291 --> 00:20:26,850
I missed you, too.
437
00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:28,121
Really?
438
00:20:29,428 --> 00:20:30,555
Yeah.
439
00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:35,392
Can I kiss you?
440
00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:37,301
Yeah.
Okay.
441
00:20:47,313 --> 00:20:49,282
Maybe that's not the
best one. Keep reading.
442
00:20:49,348 --> 00:20:51,044
Yeah, it was.
Maybe it wasn't.
443
00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:53,109
"Oh, thank God, I had
a horrible nightmare
444
00:20:53,185 --> 00:20:55,245
"that I was stuck
in America with Gabe."
445
00:20:55,321 --> 00:20:56,653
446
00:20:57,857 --> 00:21:00,190
No, that's not the one
I was thinking of.
Keep going.
447
00:21:00,292 --> 00:21:02,727
"I know what it smells
like, but I didn't
roll in anything.
448
00:21:02,795 --> 00:21:05,594
"It's from listening
to all of Gabe's..."
449
00:21:05,664 --> 00:21:07,132
450
00:21:07,199 --> 00:21:09,691
"Isn't this the
perfect romantic
getaway, Erin?
451
00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:12,671
"Sitting on a desert
island in dog costumes?
452
00:21:12,738 --> 00:21:14,934
"I'm Gabe,
and I'm a weirdo."
453
00:21:15,007 --> 00:21:16,373
454
00:21:17,042 --> 00:21:19,978
"Gabe's mom.
Hmm, Gabe's mom?
455
00:21:20,045 --> 00:21:22,446
"Wait, tall woman?
Looks like Gabe?
456
00:21:24,216 --> 00:21:25,275
"Yeah, I banged her."
457
00:21:25,351 --> 00:21:27,081
Yeah, there you go.
34390
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