All language subtitles for Tell Me Your Secrets s01e03.Someone Worse Than Me.eng

I saw her!

You saw a lot of blood.

It scared the hell out of you.

You and I both know
that you get blackouts.

It wasn't a hallucination.

It happened, Pete.
This happened.

Hey, Emma, this is Rose.

Her family's a big part
of this town.

Aah!

You gonna make trouble for me?

I just need you to tell me
where Karen Miller is.

Did your daughter
help her?

Did you find something
from her mother?

- She was fostered.
- You're good at this.

I don't know why
anyone would come here.

This place is rotten.

You're one of those girls,
aren't you, from the group home?

I'm not crazy.

I'm gonna find out
what happened.

We talked about everything.

That was the last
birthday I had with him.

The last before
I knew what he had done.

What happened on that day?

You want to know
what happened?

Did you forget what day this is?

I got it.

It's National Take Your
Boyfriend To Work Day.

Give me two minutes
to get ready.

Don't.

Happy birthday.

We screwed till we were
exhausted and wet and spent.

And then he gave me a kitten.

Oh, my God!

A beautiful little kitten.

That's what my life was.

She's purring.

That's the man I loved.

That's who he was to me.

I know.

On that day, he abducted
Marissa Watkins.

He broke her hands so
she couldn't fight him off.

He broke her feet so
she couldn't run away.

So all the time that you were
playing with your kitten,

she was dying in his van.

And then he went back,
and he smashed her skull.

40 blows.

How could such violence
happen without you noticing?

I didn't see that
side of him.

What do you feel when
you look back at that time?

I don't feel anything.

And if you'd known,
what would you have done?

I wish I could go back,

pull the person I used to be
out of there...

and never stop running.

Pete, what?

You didn't go
to St. Jerome house?

You didn't even call them?

No. I don't know
this place.

I can't just show up there
and start asking questions

about a girl that you think
went missing.

The man who put this in my leg,

he must have gone back,
and he must have moved her.

I don't know. What I do know
is that when a group home

has a kid that goes missing
for more than 12 hours,

they have to fill out
a police report.

There's no police report.

I checked.

Listen to me.
You are on your meds, right?

You got the news
about Parker's death,

and then you went
and you drank...

This is not about him.

She reached out to me.
She was unhappy.

And-and if you would have
known what he was really doing

to all those girls,
you would have stopped it.

Whatever that trauma is,

you're projecting it on
to this girl.

Jess.

Her name was Jess.

Fine. Jess.

You're substituting

all those girls
you couldn't save

with her.

That man in the swamp,
I couldn't see his face.

He was wearing a hood.

How tall was he?

I don't know.
I was in the waters.

Stand up.

Yeah, he was like your height.

Emma, this isn't your story.

You don't want to go down
this rabbit hole.

You want to move forward
with your life.

When I saw his face, I got
goosebumps because I knew.

But I been shouting in the wind
for four years now,

and then your vigil, it...

it hit me right in my heart.

Well, now you got us behind you.

It's crazy. Amy was the same age
as the other girls he went for.

She dropped out of school
for a year

like the other girls he took.

Theresa didn't drop out.

She was traveling,
but no, I see your point.

All the girls were away
from their families,

away from their home.

She was in Minnesota
same time as him.

She went to Goldenstone Festival
every year.

Okay. All went to festivals.
They all got tattoos.

Van, I understand that there
are a lot of similarities,

and none of us take lightly
the idea of coincidence.

But everything we know about
Christopher Parker...

the profile of his victims,
the crimes he admitted to...

they were all white.

But we can do everything
my mother said.

We can put Amy's case
back in the news,

but we-we can't necessarily
link her to Parker.

Work hard, you can
be your own boss.

Why do you like doing hair?

'Cause you can find yourself
through one good haircut.

Like me and my hair.
I used to fight it.

We in this thing together now.

All right.
Everybody do me a favor.

Hold out your hands
like that right there.

Hold 'em out. Let me see.

I gotta run to the bathroom.

Okay, go on.

Who got the shakes?

All right now.
If you're gonna have

them scissors in your hands,
you got to be solid.

Otherwise, all your clients,
they're gonna be ex-clients.

Eat your breakfast, Tina.
We want you well again.

We want you strong.

Then you can go
and join the others.

I'm sick of eggs.

You're not allowed
up here.

I'm just looking for someone,
a girl who lived here.

You're not supposed to be here.
I'm gonna call them.

Wait, wait, wait, please.
It's okay.

I'm looking for the girl who
lived in this room, for Jess.

I'm her friend.

She had no friend but me.

She did. She had me.

She gave me this.

She said it was
the best thing she had,

and that she wanted me
to have it.

They say she gone back
to her daddy.

They cleared out her room,

but I know they lying.

She would have never gone
without them,

without saying goodbye.

We're gonna find her.

You and me, okay?

Come on, baby.
We're running late.

I don't know why
you even want me here.

It's awkward. I've nothing
to say to these people.

You are what these girls could
be with opportunity and care.

I don't want to do your
show-and-tell anymore.

Hi.

Hey.

I'm sorry. I don't believe
I know you. Do you work here?

Oh, no. I'm-I'm a part
of their careers day.

How do you know my daughter?

Geez, mom. I live in this town.

We live outside this town.

Wait. Are you the individual

who turned my daughter
into a gothic?

Mom, please.

You like it, her hair?

In four weeks she will be
Festival of Saints Queen.

That stands for something
around here,

so you'll pay for
the damages you've done.

Go on. We'll wait in the office.

Your daughter's beautiful.

Stay away from her.

Hey, mom.

Jake, if we can make
this connect,

it could be enough to force
Karen Miller

back for questioning.

Sh-She was with him when
Amy Walker disappeared.

Mom. Kamala Walker's here.
It's Van's wife.

Hi.

Mary, I'm gonna be
straight with you

because what we've been
through as mothers

means we're all out of B.S.

Tell my husband
you don't need him.

But I do. Of course, I do.

In-In fact, I think
we need each other.

I think your daughter's
disappearance

did not get as much attention
as it deserves

because, I think, of racial
bias, and I'm gonna say that.

We're not looking
for a white savior.

Is that what you think
I'm selling?

Well, you are
selling hope, Mary,

and that's what'll kill you.

My husband is bipolar.

That must be very tough
on the both of you.

My husband Saul got depression
after Theresa went.

No, I'm not talking depression.

I'm talking when he's down,
it's like he's dead.

And when he's in his mania,

everything is
Christopher Parker.

Your vigil came bang in
the middle of a manic phase.

But what he said, it made sense.

Listen to me, Mary.

Mother to mother.

Parker didn't kill our daughter.

How can you know that?

Because Parker told me.

What?

Two years ago.

I listened to him
for three hours,

and for months, I played it
over and over and over.

He didn't do it.

You believed him?

It's the only answer I've got.

Then... why does Van
think it's him?

Van wrote every week to Parker,

just like you,
requesting a visit.

He never replied.

But he wrote me a letter.

He asked me to come.

He said he would give me
the answers,

but it was to be our secret,

and it is.

Something big and...

dirty between us.

I need Van to be at peace

because when I look in his eyes,
I see my daughter,

and I need to keep seeing her.

Parker is dead and gone.

So tell my husband you don't
need him, please.

You said you listened to it
over and over.

Do you have it?

The recording?

It won't help you.

It will.

Mother to mother.

Connie was a screamer.

Told me everything
she thought would save her.

Toni gave me the login details
for her bank.

Jodie scratched my face.

I had to put a stitch
in my cheek.

I remember all of them.

Not your daughter.

And I would have remembered her.

I would have done
so many things to her

if she'd been one for me.

I would have hit her so hard
and so fast with my hammer.

The sound of bone under metal.

I'd have cut her... face.

Pulled out every hair
in her head.

Hi.

I wanted to thank you

for getting that needle
out of my leg.

Come here.

I don't need a hair cut.

Okay. Umm...

Well, maybe you should get
a shave, right?

Show off that jaw because
you have a nice one.

Is that a compliment
in your world?

I want you to like me.

Hi. I hate to ask this.

I know it's gonna sound like
a line, but is this seat taken?

My back... I have
this weakness T-1 to T-12,

and my height...
while impactful,

it's a bit of a drawback when
it comes to spinal health.

I just really would
love to sit down.

I'm actually meeting someone.

That's okay. I would expect
nothing less, believe me.

It was an opportunistic window.
I'll hobble along.

How about it's yours until
my friend turns up?

Well, absolutely.
How about that?

- Thank you.
- Go for it.

Ugh. And while I'm sitting here

like a tragic "before" picture
for Advil, can I buy you...

what is that?

Are you a comedian?

What do you mean?
Do women laugh at me?

Yes!

Hi. I'm John.

I'm Gayle.

How are you?

It's a Campari.

Ah, a bit sophisticated.

I would have hit her so hard

and so fast with my hammer.

The sound of bone...

Thank you.

Be glad he never spoke
about your daughter.

The video was 20 seconds long.

You said you listened
to him for hours?

I let you hear what
you needed to hear.

The rest is my business.

But now you see why
I need Van at peace.

The things that man said would
put thoughts in his head

that I could never free him of.

I'll talk to Van.

And you're right.

We're not on the same journey.

Thank you.

Don't you need to get that?

Don't want to get it.

"Pete"?

He's pretty, uh... insistent.

Is that your, umm...

My landlord.

Something wrong with your place?

No, he's just intense.

He likes to know where I go,

what I do, what I think.

That's weird and creepy.

He's got boundary issues.

Why you living there?

I wanted to go somewhere
peaceful, get some space.

I like the cabin.

It don't sound peaceful.

Actually, I think he used to
work around here

at the St. Jerome.

Peter Guillory.

I don't know that name.

Could you... look into him?

I just want to know...

if he's safe.

What if he's not?

Well, then, I'm gonna need you.

Oh, I should have known.

You've got a dentist smile
all right.

I'm so glad that you noticed.
It's Colgate, all the way.

I tried going into psychology,

but then I just somehow
drifted into teeth.

Which sounds odd.

Well, that sounds
a lot more appealing

than listening to a wall
of crazy every day.

I have to say, my reasons for
psychology were totally selfish.

I just wanted to find someone

who was gonna be
my perfect match.

Try and figure out someone who
wasn't gonna break my heart.

I've got a little background
in behavior studies.

That doesn't help.

I still can't find
the right guy.

Well, I would say that
I am so, so sorry,

but I get to have wine with you.

You're cute.

Who, me? Nah.

Mm-hmm.

So what kind of behavior work
do you do?

Social work.

I place kids
with foster families.

That's really huge.

- Mm!
- No, it is.

They get a second chance.

Oh, well, uhh,
I'm not blaming them.

I know about...

cycles of neglect,
all that bullshit.

The thing is, no one lives

with the well-meaning studies,
you know?

The reasons and the background.
You live with the kid.

The product of
the background, sure,

but at the end of the day,
that nightmare's yours.

Most times, the caregivers
can't turn it around.

That is so sad.

Yeah.

There must be some, though,
that stand out to you.

Like someone who became
the CEO of a bank

or become the president...
I don't know.

You want to know?

Yeah, very much.

Karen Miller.

Killer Miller.

She did a bunch of murders
with her boyfriend?

I placed her.

- Yeah.
- Wow.

- Oh...
- I'm sorry.

Okay.

Are we gonna blame
the shoes for that one?

- Yep.
- One, two.

- I'm good.
- Those are bad shoes.

- Bad.
- Bad, bad shoes.

- It's not the wine's fault.
- Never-Never the wine.

The Chardonnay
is beyond reproach.

So, with Killer Miller, uh...

do you think they made her
better or worse?

- Who?
- Whoever it was that got her,

do you think, you know, it was
their fault how she ended up?

Grandma Moses? Oh, God, no.

Crazy lady fostered so many kids
up at Elsinor Lake.

She's probably in
her grave by now.

But she gave her life
to those kids,

but she couldn't save that one.

I remember Miller.

She stole a cat from a farm.

The cat was about due,

and every one of those kittens
was stillborn.

That's someone who's gonna be
sick in the head right there.

You could just sense that about
her, about Karen Miller?

Are we nearly there?
Are we nearly home?

You know, it's okay.
I'm fine from here. I'm close.

Listen, it was nice to meet you.

- We were gonna have coffee.
- Yes. But now...

I've got work.
I've got an early start.

And you drank a lot of wine.

Yes, now I've got a headache.

Okay.

Okay.

Bye, Gayle.

Hey!

Are you stalking me?

Not many people stand up
to my mom around here.

I guess it just made me curious
about you.

More curious.

One day you bust my nose, and
the next you say I'm beautiful.

Abusive relationships.

My gift to the world.

It's a relationship?

H-How did you find me?

I heard you were up here.

From who?

It's a small town.

Plus, there's only
so many places

people who don't like people
are gonna go.

I like some people.

Do you like me?

I don't...

dislike you.

Now.

You want to get a beer?

With you?

Sure.

In a few years.

There's bars that'll
serve me, you know.

No, I don't even drink.
I... I have allergies.

My-My meds don't mix.

Why were you there
at the group home?

Because my mom's
obsessed with it.

Obsessed?

She gives away my dad's money

and makes herself
feel closer to God.

Reminds me of how lucky I am
not to be them.

Did you hear that Jess is gone?

Yeah, I heard.

Are they... good people there
at the house?

God's people doing God's work.

That's the doctrine
of St. Jerome.

I need to sleep.

Come on.

Why'd you tell her...

m-my mother...
that I'm beautiful?

Because you are.

She should tell you that
so that you feel loved.

So you don't feel alone.

I don't feel alone.

Yeah, me, neither.

You should go home.

Jesus.

I've been calling you.

How did you get in here?

- I have a key.
- You what?

I have a key.

I need to be able to get in here

in case something
happens to you.

What's gonna happen?

Nothing as long
as you're being careful.

Are you being careful?

Where were you today?

At a work thing.

Who was the girl
that was outside?

I heard a voice outside.

I cut her hair. That's all.
She's a girl from town.

So you're making friends
again, huh?

She has a collar.

Give her to me.

You know, she belongs
to someone else.

I think she likes me.

There you go.

She came to me.
She doesn't have an ID tag.

It's okay. Shh, shh, shh.

Why are you here?

The next time I call you,

you better pick up that phone.

I was working.

Well, do you know how hard
I worked for this?

How hard I've worked
to get you a place

where you could feel safe, where
you could finally have peace,

start to heal?

So the next time that
I call you,

and you decide not
to pick up the phone, just...

just remember
it has this impact.

I am entitled to a private life.

No. You earn that.

And you get to decide
when I'm good enough?

That's the deal you made.

Maybe I don't want this deal
anymore.

Maybe I am sick of you
knowing everything

and me knowing nothing.

I don't even know
where you're from.

Are you married?

You've kids?

Is your name even Pete?

It's actually Peter,

but my friends call me Pete,

so this works
because we're friends, right?

Why are you here?

I contacted St. Jerome House.

The girl that you made
friends with?

Jess?

She went to live
with her father.

She's not dead.

They told you that?

Even though you're a stranger?

I need to check your meds.

It's work.

Yeah, hi. What's up?

Hey. You get home okay?
You okay?

Yeah, I'm just tired.

Oh. I checked on your landlord.

You know he's a psychiatrist?

He has a practice upstate.
How you know him?

We can talk about this
in the morning.

No, wait.
See, there's something else.

He did work at St. Jerome.

A long time back,
but his license was suspended.

There's something on his file,
but the records are sealed.

And w-what does that mean?

Hard to say.

Usually it'd be 'cause of
inappropriate behavior.

I don't know, but St. Jerome
is a place full of minors.

Okay, well, umm...

I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks.

A shift change.

Your Paroxetine,
your Alprazolam,

your DCS, and your Zolpidem are
all at their refill weights.

What's going on with you, Emma?

I want to try without them.

Well, that's never gonna happen.

Turn around. Turn around.
I want to see your face.

I think I love you.

I had a mother, too,
Mrs. Walker.

It's not that I'm against
the idea of maternal comfort.

It's...

I don't know how
to give it to you.

Why don't you tell me
the truth?

No, I mean, nothing's for free.

And you want something from me,
and I can give it to you.

What do you want?

A story.

Something to make me think.

Something personal about you.

How can you be sure I won't lie?

I've killed a lot of women,
and they all told lies

to save themselves,
so I can recognize

almost every type of lie.

Tell me a secret, Mrs. Walker.

Don't play with me.

Door's over there.

About a year ago,
I ran down our dog.

My husband's... dog.

It was an accident,

and I never said it was me.

He still doesn't know.

Dogs have no sense, and they're
way too easy to win.

I'm a cat person.

How come you didn't see
your dog?

We all have our habits,
our routines.

I'd imagine you'd
keep an eye out.

Check he's not up
in your grille, right?

Why not that day?

I was running late for work.
I was on the phone.

Where was your husband?

I know for his many letters
he doesn't have a job.

He was with the doctor.

Must have been
an early appointment,

or one of his residencies
for treatment.

He's had a few of those,
hasn't he?

That dog was his comfort.

After your daughter?

I'm gonna give you your answer.

You been married a long time.

He's a good man,
but where was your comfort?

You needed something.

Someone to see you differently.

He was my comfort.

The only thing that's been
on his mind is Amy.

I don't believe he's once
noticed how your hair falls.

And those beautiful eyes.

The care you take of your nails.

You do that for someone,
but it's not him.

Were you late for work because
you were with someone?

It was just...

Comfort?

I didn't kill your daughter.

I know how you mothers get,

wanting to think
every bit of this is me.

There's always someone worse.

Imagine after all this,
someone worse than me.

What an irony that would be...

That the most
dangerous part of me

isn't even in this prison cell.

Hey. I was just thinking of you.

Emma?

You okay?

John?
If you hear my voice,

it's because you need the
psychomagic healing ceremony.

The swords represent
your thinking, your memory,

and your response to the world
and its boundaries.

Take the first sword
from your heart.

This is the pain
of your mother's death.

It represents your first wound
and needs to heal.

This is my first wound.

"As I have always maintained,
the man I believe

took my daughter implies
he did not act alone.

I urge the federal authorities
to bring Karen Miller

out of Witness Protection."

Oh, God, mom.

You went through my phone.

- I needed to see all of it.
- You needed?

Please understand, this could
be the chance that we need.

But I told you
this was my business,

and you copied
a private recording

of a conversation my husband
doesn't even know about.

He all but admitted he worked
with someone else.

We could go after Karen Miller.

We? There is no we!
It's just you.

Mom, why don't we go inside?

Has she always been
this selfish?

Everything I do
is for my family.

I do the same.

You have closure...
what you believe is closure,

and you're not gonna give it
to your husband?

I tried to give you peace,
but I don't think you want it.

Christopher Parker's dead.

Karen Miller's out there, and
I want to know what she knows.

- By tearing my marriage apart?
- No.

No? Wait, are you that
disconnected

that you don't think he's gonna
need to hear every word of this,

to hear what that man said?

To hear what I said?

And what do you think he's
gonna think of me then, huh?

I was very careful
with the upload.

To get Parker's confession,
I had to give him mine.

- I didn't... Oh!
- Hey!

Don't touch her.

You uploaded that, and that's
what my husband's gonna hear.

You know what? You got a better
son than you deserve.

Maybe you should
look to yourself

for why your daughter's gone.

She's in a lot of pain.
We can't blame her.

I don't.

I mean, how could you betray
someone like that, Mom?

What wouldn't you do?

No one's ever gonna find her.

If that's how you want it.

You got a call coming through
to you, Miss Esther.

Must be my birthday.
So much going on.

Is that you, my love?

Yeah, it's me.

I'm in a...

I'm in a new place,
but everything feels the same.

Your secret's safe.

I love you. I love you.

I don't like wolves.

I don't like their teeth.

Will you take the wolf out,
please?

There are no wolves here,
Miss Esther.

You go on back to sleep.

You might want to come back
in the morning.

She's a lot brighter.
She'll remember you tomorrow.

I can wait.

Tell me a story.