All language subtitles for Parks and Recreation (2009) - S07E07 - Donna and Joe (1080p BluRay x265 Silence)

We're going to have orchids
on the all the pews, right?

Because orchids are
Donna's favorite flowers,

and she's my favorite flower.

We're real cute.

Well, of course, there
are going to be orchids.

You think this is
my first time working

a side job as a wedding planner

for a former co-worker?

No?
I'm so sorry.

I mostly have my rage
problem under control,

but planning is very stressful.

Please, avoid my trigger words,

flowers, schedule, vows, bride,
groom, food, love, happy, church,

event, wedding, and Craig.

I'm so sorry, Craig.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

April, walk with me.

So I chose you as
my maid of honor

because you've become
one of my best friends.

And I love you like a sister.

Ew. But also, because
you're tough.

My family arrives tonight.
I know.

And they're all set
with their welcome bags.

And I told your brother,
LeVondrious, that he is not welcome.

Good, but still, there's going
to be 28 Meagles in one room,

which means
there's gonna be drama.

I will handle everything.

I actually care whether you're
having a good time and are happy.

It's weird.

The Meagles are a cold-blooded
crew of judgmental grudge-holders.

My cousin Winnie
once forgot to use

a coaster at my grandpa's house,

and he wrote her
out of his will.

The last four
Meagle family Pictionary

tournaments ended
at the hospital.

Legally, no more than
three Meagles are allowed

on an international
flight together.

But they give great gifts.

Got to get that flatware.

Ripped By mstoll

Tommy, I was at the nail
salon and I picked up

some geranium hand cream.
Do you want to try it?

Uh, yes.
Warm it up, please.

Ooh! That smells nice.

I'm just gonna go and make
sure everything is set

for tonight, okay?
All right, see you later.

See you, Ron.

I've always liked that Lucy.

Glad things are going well.

Better than well.

And guess what I have
planned for tonight.

No.
As Donna's butler of honor,

I'm going all out.

Baby blue brocade.

As a surprise,

I got a matching dress for Lucy.

And you believe Lucy will
be happy with this gift?

A hundred percent,
we're so in sync.

I finally feel like
I'm with the person

I'm going to be with forever.

I'd marry her tomorrow.

Bully for you, son.

More importantly, do you
have tri-tip for tonight?

Because if not,
I brought my own.

I love weddings.

Good food, the celebration
of romantic love,

and most of all, churches.

Say what you will
about organized religion,

those bastards knew
how to construct an edifice.

Okay, monsters.

Mommy and Daddy have to pack
because we're going to a hotel.

But Roz is going to
stay here with you.

Yeah, and we are going
to have so much fun,

we're going to play games,
we're going to color,

maybe we're going to even
sit quietly for 30 seconds.

Do you think I could
have 30 seconds?

Is all...

She's fading.

Roz, Roz. Hey. Hey.

You are a wonderful nanny.

Oh. You're tough and strong.

And you're an excellent
caretaker for our children.

Yeah, every time
you come to our house,

we are so happy to see you.

I love you more than Ben.

I do.

If Ben left me, I would be sad
but I would get through it.

But if you left me...

I would never recover.

Thanks.

That helps.

I'm so used to packing for them,

I almost put in
diapers for myself.

Incoming call, Jen Barkley.

Jen Barkley is calling again.

She's relentless.

Jen is a powerful
political operative.

Don't you even want to know
what she has to say?

She'll just say what she
always says, which is,

"Leslie, would you consider running
for state Senate or Congress?"

And I'll say,
"Jen, thank you very much,

"that's very flattering
but I love my job

"and I get to do it
for the entire country."

The whole world is my park.

Besides, our lives are so
chaotic, we can't run a campaign.

Well, if you really wanted
to do it, we'd find a way.

I mean, things
aren't that chaotic.

All three of them just bonked into each
other and broke everything you own.

I don't know what that was.

Oh! Would you
look at that?

Sweetie, I think
your best friend, Tom,

is giving his
lady friend a gift.

You know Gayle gives me
a gift each and every day.

Oh, I've got
the greatest gift of all.

Being married to you.

Oh! Sweetie!

Control yourselves, Gergiches!

Damn, Tommy, well done!

I knew you'd like it.

Get changed, baby. We've got
to dominate this party.

What do you think, Ron?

Tommy's the man.

I normally don't get involved
in people's personal affairs

but something about a wedding...

I'll just say it.

Tom is quite taken with you.

He's taken with me, huh?
Yes!

He said he'd
"marry you tomorrow."

Seems silly to stay at a hotel
that's 10 minutes from our house.

It's been three years, we deserve
one night away together.

A little down time.
A little privacy.

Maybe we make some more kids?

Don't even joke about that.

Let's just make,
like, three more

so that each one of them can
have a friend.

Jen? What are
you doing here?

You idiots won't answer my calls

and what I have to tell you cannot wait.

What's that horrible sound?

Children.

Ugh! Your life is gross.

My life is amazing.

Jen, thank you so much for
coming but we have to go.

I have never been late for an
event that requires an RSVP.

You guys live in Pawnee, Indiana.
Where do you have to go?

Puttin' up a new scarecrow?

Could you, please, just
get to the point? Sure.

Paul Hartwell,
who is your congressional

incumbent from
this district, is a moron.

Even by Washington standards.

But he wins every year

because he's a horrible bully
and nobody opposes him.

Till now.

Indiana's 10th
district needs a new leader.

Someone who's made it a home.

Who cares about our citizens, and
who understands the local economy.

Jen, I told you. I have a dream job.
I don't want to...

A candidate named Ben Wyatt.

Sorry?

I'm dead serious, Ben.

I think you should run for the
House of Representatives.

Whoa! What was that?
That was huge.

Hang on, this is Congress
you're talking about.

Like where...
Like bills become laws.

I am not qualified for that.

We're talking about the House
of Representatives, Ben.

You might be over qualified.

Hartwell's biggest weakness is the
economy, which is your exact strength.

You're young.
You're smart.

You're running the biggest
city in the district.

I saw you handle
that WiFi thing on TV.

My firm is ready to go,
as soon as you say the word.

Are you in or are you out?

Uh, two of the three kids are
showering in their pajamas,

and most of Ben's
ties are in the toilet.

Just like, as a update
of where things are at.

I mean,
this is chaos.

Guys, it happened a really
long time ago, right?

And it was probably an accident.

Oh, yeah, I'm sure the Dig Dug
machine just unplugged itself,

right before I was about
to beat his high score.

Yeah, I'm sure
it was an accident.

Hey, status report?

The Meagles are weird.

The words that they say sound

passive but seem aggressive.

I feel like there should be
a term for that, like...

Nicey meany.

Yeah, I just had to physically
separate two 80-year-old men

who were arguing about whether
it was really Lena Horne

in that grocery store in 1970.

Okay, you stay on the Key
Largo and Denver Meagles,

and I will handle the
Berlin Meagles. Done.

So, you're thinking
about Jen's offer? Yes.

I mean,
how would this even work?

Our lives are so busy,
and if I won,

I would be a Congressman

or woman, I mean, equal rights.

No, that doesn't apply.

Okay. Try this.

Tonight, just act like
you've decided to run.

And then tomorrow,
at the wedding,

act like you've
decided not to run.

See which one feels better.
Okay.

And what do you
think I should do?

Ben has to run.

I don't want to push it because it
might backfire but he has to run.

He would be good for America.
Good for the world.

Ben should be

the Royal
Archduke Sultan Emperor

of all inhabitable
lands on Earth.

I'm completely neutral.

I will support you
no matter what you do.

You told Lucy,
I want to marry her?

Damn it, son, the small hamburgers!
Ron!

You have to walk
back what you said.

"Walk back" sounds like lying.

Can you drop your strict life codes
for a second and help me out?

Even though I've
known Lucy for years,

and can see myself spending a life
together with her, having children,

walking the grounds
of Tommy's Bahama,

a private island,
I'll eventually buy.

That's way in the future, man.

Don't call me, "Man."

That's what you
took away from this?

Uh!

Don't serve this man.

No more food until he fixes the
giant disaster he's created.

Okay. Starting now,
you're in campaign mode.

So first up, meet and greet.

You remember how this goes, right?
Your goal is to act

like everyone is
interesting and important.

Hey, guys.

Nope. Too hard.

Let's try someone else.
Okay.

Oh! Here's Donna's parents, okay?
Okay.

Work your magic.
You got it.

Hi, Mr. And Mrs. Meagle,
I presume.

I am Mr. Meagle
but we're divorced.

I'm Grace Callahan.

Well, I'm sorry
Ms. Callahan.

It's Doctor Callahan.

Well, I hope that you are
a podiatrist or a dentist

because I seem to have a case
of foot-in-mouth disorder.

Hey, guys.
How's everything going?

April, we couldn't be happier and
you are an angel for asking.

Yeah,
it's surprisingly painless.

No swiping, no
passive-aggressive comments...

No drama at all.

Here are all
the troublemakers, boss.

Thank you.

Meagles, I am not
screwing around, okay?

Lauren, no more
discussion of Majorca.

Majorca is off-limits.

Brian and Gloria,
stop making Horatio

feel bad that your
daughter went to Yale.

No one gives a...

And Ginuwine.
Yes.

Get it together.

I'm sorry, April.
Kathy started this.

"It's Kathy that started..."
I don't care!

She doesn't mean it.

Don't cry, Ginuwine, it's okay.

Thanks, Andy.

Easy-peasy.

Lemon sneezy.

Lucy, I have something
to tell you.

I am a liar.

What?

Well, no, I am not a liar.

I have never lied
about anything in my life.

Though, I suppose you could
construe camouflage as a lie.

What is happening right now?

Tom wanted to convey that
he likes you a great deal.

So he said that he could
imagine marrying you

and living on
an island with your kids.

Wait, now we're on an island?

With kids?

Plural?
Yes.

Now, do you know where I can
find those little ham balls?

Watch out for those
riding lawnmowers, man.

Babe, you are killing it.

I am, right?

Yes.

See, just thinking
I'm a Congressman

makes me feel like one.

Yes. Oh, also, I have
a little secret.

I'm drunk.

I am too.

Ever since we had our kids, it
only takes, like, one sip of wine.

I feel so good and condifent.

Con... I feel condifent.

You know what you should do?
You should give a toast.

Because if you were
running for Congress,

you have to give speeches,
right?

You want me to make a toast?
I'll toast it up.

Toast it, baby. Roast it and toast
it till it's brown on both sides!

Hey everybody, I'm Ben Wyatt.

Listen, we, of course, are here
to celebrate Donna and Joe.

And I have to say,
you know, getting married

is the bravest, most
wonderful thing you can do.

Because every day you come
home and you're just like...

"What?

"It's you, I love you.

"You're my sexy roommate.

"We love each other."

Whoo!
He's talkin' about me.

Yes, I am, babydoll.

Look, Donna and Joe

are great.

You all are great.

And this wedding is
gonna to be amazing.

Let's get some music
and dancing going.

And I am Ben Wyatt,

and I very much
approve this message!

You want me to shut that down?

No, I like it.

Let the little man dance.

Hey!

My head...

Last night was so
fun but my head...

Died.
Yeah.

Yeah, mine's filled
with concrete.

Okay, so...

Yesterday, you pretended
you were going to run.

Today, you're going to pretend
like you're not going to run.

Oh, no.

Jen posted the campaign add,
it's everywhere.

I'm running.

How could she do this to...

Oh, God, I'm remembering things.

We called Jen last night,
didn't we?

Yeah, we did.
Oh!

I also called
8-6-7-5-3-0-9, 100 times.

Oh, God.

Bad. What do we do?

There you are. Surprise.
Surprise. Whoa!

You guys should have corner boothed
it because you look awful.

You're gonna
scare off the other customers.

Hey, Jen. All those kids
keep you up all night?

So happy with my choices.

Okay, Jen.
Yeah.

I know I left you
a message last night

but I really do think you
should have checked with me

before throwing me into this.

No. Ben. I'm sorry, you left
me four messages last night.

What?
And they contain

very specific policy positions.

I want to come out
strong on education,

then I'll tack hard
into fiscal responsibility.

Oh, God.

8-6-7-5-3-0-9

I love that song.

Jenny, I got your number...

Hey, babe, it's ringing!

Honey, you were a lot
more lucid than I was.

Wait.

Were you guys drunk?

That is hilarious.
No, we weren't...

Oh, you guys are going to fit
in so great in Washington.

Most of Congress
is drunk all of the time.

Okay, official presser
is tomorrow at 9:00.

You could bail if you want,
but it would be embarrassing.

Might derail your career.
Might not. Probably will.

Well, you never do know,
though, right?

So, just let me know what
you want to do. Okay?

Well... I'm just going
to spend my time

doing exactly what I want to do.

Because I don't have children.

Bye, guys.

Ron, I'm Walden with the
Church's historical archives.

You called about wanting
information on the building?

I did, indeed.

Let's start with the fa�ade.

Was the limestone
locally hand-hewn?

No. In the late 1870s,

it was actually cheaper to
import limestone from Michigan.

Fascinating.
But tell me...

I'll do whatever you want.
I'm fine with whatever.

No. Wherever you want.
No pressure.

Excuse me.

Oh, my God!

Oh! Look at how
beautiful you look.

Leslie, I'm not even
in my dress yet.

But you're going
to be very soon.

All right, I want to
say something to my girls.

Knope, you're a softie

but on the inside
you're a straight-up boss.

April, you're
the exact opposite.

You all inspire
me and I love you.

And you too, Michelle.

Michelle, you were my best
friend from childhood.

Until we lost touch
because you thought

your college
boyfriend was into me.

He was.

I never gave him
the time of day.

But now, we're rebuilding
our friendship.

Is this wedding going to
be a test for you? Yes.

But the doctors once told you, you
were never going to walk again, so...

This should be easy, right?

Wow. What a complicated
tapestry that is.

Bring it in, bring it in.

Moment over.

Leslie, April,
help Donna with her dress.

Hi, I'm Typhoon.

Typhoon, I am interested,
but now is not the time.

Michelle, get the bouquet.

You're skating on very thin ice.

I couldn't help
but notice from afar

that you are both
acting like weirdoes.

I further suspect you have not
yet talked about what happened.

What? I don't even know
what you're talking about,

us having not talked about.

I only meant to say
that there's no shame

in declaring how you feel
to a person you cherish.

I am sorry if I caused a problem

because the two of
you make a good team.

If you'll excuse me,

I missed out on the food,

and was denied a fascinating
conversation about Michigan limestone.

But I'll be damned if
I don't properly honor

the expression of romantic love.

Ron does this weird thing where
he says exactly what he means.

You just have to ignore him.

So you didn't
mean what you said?

Look, I'm all in.

That's all I meant.

I didn't want you to think I
was crazy or jumping the gun,

and I know you just
got out of a relationship

so I don't expect you
to feel the same way,

but...

That's how I feel.

Well, I'm only dating you
for the free dresses, so...

I'm fine with that.

Donna.

Even though I've
known you for years,

I feel like I learn something
new about you every day.

Just yesterday I learned
that the Pearl Jam album,

Vitalogy was written about you.

You are an amazing,
confident woman.

And I love you.

I know that I can be a lot.

And awhile back I was thinking I'd never
find someone who loved me for me.

But you're patient
and kind and together,

we can do anything.

You may now kiss the bride.

Hey, Roz.
Okay, we have the zebras.

Tell the kids not to worry,
they're coming back home.

Also,
we want to give you a raise.

And anything you want to take
from our house. Okay. Bye.

How in the world am I
supposed to run for office?

Our lives are like one big
unexpected stuffed zebra emergency.

I don't know, what do
you think I should do?

I told you, I'm neutral.

Honey, you have never been neutral
on anything in your life.

You have an opinion on pockets.

Yes, I think they
should all be bigger.

Okay, fine.
I think you should run.

Yes, our lives are bonkers

but if something is worth
it, and I think this is,

then you just make it work.

Besides, I just read an article
on two minute micro-naps

and the science on
them is very promising.

Ben Wyatt.
Any comment on the report

that you're
running for Congress?

I'm sorry, I can't
talk about this right now.

Your only experience in politics

was as a failed mayor at age 18.

Okay, please, everyone.
We're at a wedding.

And I'm holding zebras.

I mean what qualifies you
to take over Hartwell's seat?

Guys, listen to me, please.

I'm dealing with an actual
problem right now, okay?

Which, by the way,
is what I do for a living.

I solve problems.

As a budget specialist,
and for five years

as a City Manager and
I'm pretty good at it.

I have worked hard

to transform this area into
a fiscally sound destination

for people who want good jobs
and a good public education,

and I think the results
speak for themselves.

My name is Ben Wyatt
and I'm running for Congress.

My God, babe, that was so hot.

Donna.
Hey.

How did I do?

Everything was perfect.
You are a miracle worker.

But I gotta say, I kind
of miss the Meagle drama.

I thought for sure somebody was
going to do something crazy.

But everybody is
just nice and chill.

Anyway,
I love you, and to thank you,

I'm going to try not to hug you.

Thank you.
I'm going to hug you.

No!
Okay, all right.

Wyatt, why didn't you tell us
you were running for Congress?

Well, we didn't want
to steal your thunder.

Steal my thunder? I'm sorry. Have you
seen how I'm wearing this dress?

Okay, well,
in that case, yes, I am.

To Ben.
To Donna and Joe.

To me. I own my own restaurant
and several other properties.

It's always worth celebrating.

Who's Gary?

Oh, I think that's
supposed to be me.

That's your new name, Garry.

Garry.
Garry!

Garry! Garry! Garry! Garry!

Garry is my real name.

Yes, after 30 years,
my co-workers are finally

going to call me
by my real name.

Oh, boy, I'm blessed.

Everyone, can I have
your attention, please?

Now, it's time for
a surprise musical guest.

One of my all-time favorites,

me.

I had a girl

Donna was her name

Donna. Joe!

I hope you saved
a slice of that cake

for your estranged brother,

LeVondrious.

What's up, girl?

Didn't expect to see your baby
bro at your wedding, huh?

Well, I'm here.

Despite what you did to me
all those years ago.

What I did?

This is because of what you did.

Oh, you must be referring
to the microwave incident.

Yeah.
Don't worry.

I brought it back.

Now no one gets any popcorn.

You said you
wanted a little drama.

That's why I love you, girl.

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