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1
00:00:05,071 --> 00:00:06,834
Knopey, my girl, wuddup?
2
00:00:07,374 --> 00:00:08,363
I just farted.
3
00:00:08,441 --> 00:00:11,740
Oh, Jeremy. I truly thought that I would
never have to interact with you again.
4
00:00:11,978 --> 00:00:12,967
I missed you, too.
5
00:00:13,146 --> 00:00:15,307
The city council is voting
on whether to rezone
6
00:00:15,415 --> 00:00:17,610
the Newport land
for commercial use.
7
00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:22,121
If I win, stupid Gryzzl and stupid
Ron can't build anything there,
8
00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:23,177
and then I'm sitting pretty.
9
00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:28,089
Sadly, the deciding vote is
from my old city council mate,
10
00:00:28,161 --> 00:00:32,393
and human equivalent of gas
station sushi, Jeremy Jamm.
11
00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:34,497
Is there something
different about you?
12
00:00:34,567 --> 00:00:41,336
What you are noticing is the swagger of
a man who is in a pretty steamy relash.
13
00:00:41,641 --> 00:00:44,405
This bull has been tamed.
14
00:00:44,477 --> 00:00:47,275
Well, congratulations. And I
insist you do not elaborate.
15
00:00:47,580 --> 00:00:51,311
So, I am here to talk to you about why you
should vote "No" in the zoning issue.
16
00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:53,147
Whoa! Hold up,
little chica.
17
00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:54,379
Before we go any further,
18
00:00:54,454 --> 00:00:57,014
I need to ask my girlfriend
how she wants me to vote.
19
00:00:57,190 --> 00:00:58,919
Why?
Who's your girlfriend?
20
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:01,224
Hello, Leslie.
21
00:01:02,595 --> 00:01:03,584
Tammy.
22
00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:18,500
Ripped By mstoll
23
00:01:24,184 --> 00:01:26,880
Wow. Jamm and
Tammy! "Jammy."
24
00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:28,981
Jammy.
25
00:01:29,055 --> 00:01:30,044
You guys are so cute.
26
00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:33,557
When did you... Why would
either one of you, you know...
27
00:01:33,993 --> 00:01:35,358
Why? Dear God, why?
28
00:01:35,795 --> 00:01:37,228
Hit it off at karaoke.
29
00:01:37,797 --> 00:01:40,265
She saw me nail
Gangsta's Paradise,
30
00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:42,663
I saw her bite the door guy.
31
00:01:42,735 --> 00:01:45,203
She then let me buy her
a bunch of purses.
32
00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:47,262
And the rest is history.
A bunch.
33
00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:50,537
Bottom line, I'll vote
however Tammy wants me to.
34
00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:53,807
I'm basically her puppet.
No big deal.
35
00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:56,849
I moved here solely
to destroy Ron Swanson.
36
00:01:57,050 --> 00:01:59,314
That's the only reason
I'm still here actually.
37
00:01:59,385 --> 00:02:00,977
Wait a second.
This is great news.
38
00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:03,318
Because Ron is
my opponent in this.
39
00:02:03,556 --> 00:02:05,547
And you live to torture Ron.
40
00:02:05,725 --> 00:02:08,125
Vote for me so that
you can screw Ron over.
41
00:02:08,361 --> 00:02:10,226
Maybe you're not a
blonde bimbo after all.
42
00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:12,227
Thank you. Well. Let
me mull it over.
43
00:02:12,365 --> 00:02:14,993
Sure, I'm aligning
myself with terrible people,
44
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:19,437
but think of all the wonderful people
who will benefit from a national park.
45
00:02:19,672 --> 00:02:20,661
It's worth it.
46
00:02:20,773 --> 00:02:22,172
And you can trust my opinion
47
00:02:22,242 --> 00:02:24,437
because I have a lot to
gain by being right,
48
00:02:24,511 --> 00:02:26,741
and I have severe tunnel vision
about achieving my goals.
49
00:02:26,946 --> 00:02:31,315
Whoa! "Executive Director, Regional Affairs."
April, congrats on the new job title.
50
00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:36,253
Yeah, thanks.
It's a huge step up from
51
00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:38,449
"Regional Affairs Director."
52
00:02:38,525 --> 00:02:40,755
So, for the Pawnee bicentennial,
53
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:44,194
we're doing a walk of fame
of notable Pawnee citizens,
54
00:02:44,264 --> 00:02:46,789
and today is Joan Callamezzo.
55
00:02:46,866 --> 00:02:48,731
I just wanted to invite you
to the ceremony today
56
00:02:48,801 --> 00:02:52,237
because I know you love her,
inexplicably.
57
00:02:52,305 --> 00:02:54,432
Great pick. She's insane.
58
00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:56,668
Joan has always been
kind of a train wreck,
59
00:02:56,743 --> 00:02:59,803
but the last three years,
she's gone off the deep end.
60
00:02:59,979 --> 00:03:02,174
She did a string
of shows from rehab.
61
00:03:02,315 --> 00:03:03,714
Victoria Herzog,
62
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:06,546
you were a successful attorney
from Wilmington, Delaware.
63
00:03:06,786 --> 00:03:07,946
Then you hit rock bottom.
64
00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:09,782
This is supposed
to be anonymous.
65
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:12,654
She once gave every member
in her audience a car.
66
00:03:12,725 --> 00:03:15,057
One car, that they
all had to fight for.
67
00:03:15,228 --> 00:03:18,595
Oh, and last year, she did a show where
she called all of her ex-boyfriends
68
00:03:18,665 --> 00:03:19,996
while sitting on
a washing machine.
69
00:03:20,233 --> 00:03:23,134
Well, Erik, if you didn't
give it to me, then who did?
70
00:03:23,403 --> 00:03:27,305
I love her so much.
I hope she's my real mom.
71
00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:30,342
"Entrepreneur bachelor,
Tom Haverford,
72
00:03:30,410 --> 00:03:33,243
"is making quite a splash
in the culinary world,
73
00:03:33,313 --> 00:03:37,215
"and we expect even bigger
things from him in 2018."
74
00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:40,110
Tom. What does
culinary mean?
75
00:03:40,253 --> 00:03:42,050
It means it's a cause
for celebration.
76
00:03:42,121 --> 00:03:44,089
Round of drinks for
everyone, on the house!
77
00:03:44,190 --> 00:03:47,785
Yeah! Let me also get a chicken
parm and a lasagna on the side.
78
00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:50,158
And a spaghetti to go.
On the house!
79
00:03:50,630 --> 00:03:51,756
Yes.
80
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,166
That's the fourth
engagement this month.
81
00:03:55,468 --> 00:03:57,459
I'm tired of being an
"Entrepreneur/bachelor."
82
00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,637
I need to find someone.
83
00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:03,342
Are you bummed, Tom? Hey, I
got a quick fix for that.
84
00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:06,310
Let's get hammered.
Everything here is free.
85
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,306
Ron.
86
00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:10,805
Miss Knope.
87
00:04:10,883 --> 00:04:13,613
How's that zero-dollar bid
coming along?
88
00:04:13,886 --> 00:04:16,150
You know, in my experience
with capitalism,
89
00:04:16,222 --> 00:04:19,851
people would normally expect money in
exchange for their goods and land.
90
00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:23,162
In my experience with
butt faces, you are one.
91
00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:26,993
We will now hear arguments
about the Newport property.
92
00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:30,565
First, on behalf of Gryzzl,
Mr. Ron Swanson.
93
00:04:31,738 --> 00:04:34,172
Thank you, Councilman.
When you vote tomorrow,
94
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:38,570
we believe you should vote to
rezone the land for commercial use.
95
00:04:39,178 --> 00:04:40,236
Well, I'm convinced.
96
00:04:40,446 --> 00:04:43,006
Tomorrow, I'm voting for Gryzzl.
What?
97
00:04:43,082 --> 00:04:44,777
I didn't even get
a chance to say my plan.
98
00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:46,007
Your plan?
99
00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:48,186
You know who else had a plan?
100
00:04:48,254 --> 00:04:49,243
Please don't say Hitler.
101
00:04:49,422 --> 00:04:50,889
Adolf Hitler!
102
00:04:51,257 --> 00:04:52,690
I'm with Swanson.
103
00:04:53,559 --> 00:04:55,390
It's a stache thing.
Stache bros.
104
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:58,122
You wouldn't understand.
We're done here.
105
00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:00,792
Well, that was easy.
106
00:05:02,068 --> 00:05:03,330
What the hell just happened?
107
00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:07,033
Joan, on behalf of the
entire city, congratulations.
108
00:05:07,106 --> 00:05:09,233
I do want to apologize
for not being able to
109
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,334
accommodate some
of your requests.
110
00:05:11,411 --> 00:05:14,676
For example, we couldn't get
a bottle of Chateau Marmont
111
00:05:14,747 --> 00:05:18,114
because it's a hotel
in Los Angeles, not a wine.
112
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:20,551
Well, did you at least
get Buddy Holly to sing?
113
00:05:20,687 --> 00:05:25,056
No, because he's been
famously dead for 60 years.
114
00:05:25,191 --> 00:05:27,955
What? Hi, Joan. Hi,
my name is April.
115
00:05:28,027 --> 00:05:30,222
And I'm your biggest fan and
I pretty much hate everyone.
116
00:05:30,296 --> 00:05:31,957
Will you sign your
ninth memoir for me?
117
00:05:32,031 --> 00:05:35,660
Well, it would be my pleasure.
You said your name was Glenn?
118
00:05:36,135 --> 00:05:38,569
Yes, I did.
That's pretty.
119
00:05:38,738 --> 00:05:43,004
A Portrait In Words
120
00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:46,637
"Game Of Joans"
by Joan Callamezzo.
121
00:05:46,746 --> 00:05:48,805
"I threw the hot soup
right in her face.
122
00:05:48,881 --> 00:05:51,372
"It turned out she was
not my waitress.
123
00:05:51,451 --> 00:05:53,146
"But I think
my point was made."
124
00:05:53,219 --> 00:05:56,620
"And that's when I knew Karl
Malone was not the father."
125
00:05:56,689 --> 00:06:00,557
"I estimate that 40% of all pop
songs were written about me."
126
00:06:00,626 --> 00:06:03,857
"I broke up the
Backstreet Boys both times.
127
00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:06,831
"And I would do it again
in a heartbeat."
128
00:06:06,899 --> 00:06:08,992
"My uterus is eight inches
flaccid"
129
00:06:09,068 --> 00:06:13,869
"I once fell asleep while falling out the
window of Mr. Belvedere's apartment."
130
00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:16,704
"I have Randy Quaid's
email address."
131
00:06:16,776 --> 00:06:18,334
That's how it ends.
132
00:06:19,812 --> 00:06:22,406
Thank you, Commissioner
Gordon, people of Gotham.
133
00:06:22,648 --> 00:06:24,240
Okay. She thinks
she's in Batman.
134
00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:26,680
People often ask me,
"Joan, how do you do it?"
135
00:06:27,620 --> 00:06:28,609
It's simple.
136
00:06:29,455 --> 00:06:31,013
I love being on TV.
137
00:06:31,290 --> 00:06:34,350
I've known what I've wanted to
do since I was 10 years old.
138
00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:37,594
That is the key
to living a good life.
139
00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:41,598
If you don't absolutely love
what you do with a true passion,
140
00:06:41,768 --> 00:06:43,599
then what's the point
in doing it at all?
141
00:06:44,303 --> 00:06:45,292
On a separate note,
142
00:06:45,371 --> 00:06:47,464
I think that America
should have a purge night.
143
00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:48,632
Let me explain why.
144
00:06:49,942 --> 00:06:51,807
Do I even like my job?
145
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:56,143
I must be the first person ever
146
00:06:56,215 --> 00:07:00,777
to have money, power, and
notoriety, but still feel empty.
147
00:07:02,221 --> 00:07:03,882
I need someone
to share my life with.
148
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:08,318
What if your future wife is
somebody that you already know?
149
00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:09,922
Let's open your Gryzzl page.
150
00:07:11,397 --> 00:07:14,457
What about her? She's cute. Date her.
That's my cousin.
151
00:07:15,501 --> 00:07:17,731
How about her? That's my dad!
What's wrong with you?
152
00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:20,067
I'm drunk, okay? Why are you
only friends with your family?
153
00:07:21,207 --> 00:07:24,267
Oh, look, you got a message from
somebody named Lucy in Chicago.
154
00:07:24,343 --> 00:07:26,004
She looks familiar.
Yeah, we used to date.
155
00:07:26,078 --> 00:07:27,875
I was super into her.
No, that's not it.
156
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,308
Was she in Destiny's Child?
157
00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:33,742
"Hey Tom, saw the
article, you boss!
158
00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:36,254
"Let's catch up soon.
Miss you."
159
00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:39,113
Do you realize what's happening?
160
00:07:39,325 --> 00:07:41,793
We've been sitting here searching
for your soul mate this whole time
161
00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:43,920
and then Lucy just Gryzzl-texts
you out of nowhere?
162
00:07:43,996 --> 00:07:47,955
It's a sign! And we have to catch it.
We are going to Chicago.
163
00:07:48,334 --> 00:07:49,323
Andy?
164
00:07:49,669 --> 00:07:51,603
Think about what
you're saying right now.
165
00:07:51,838 --> 00:07:53,999
'Cause it's the smartest
idea anyone's ever had!
166
00:07:54,407 --> 00:07:55,704
Let's go!
Yeah!
167
00:07:56,542 --> 00:07:58,373
Ron! What did you do?
168
00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:02,446
I delivered a flawless presentation
and secured tomorrow's vote.
169
00:08:02,515 --> 00:08:06,611
No, you got all sneaky and snuck around
and snooked that vote away from me.
170
00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:10,122
And I know this because earlier
I sneaked and snooked around
171
00:08:10,189 --> 00:08:11,850
and Jammy was
supposed to vote for me!
172
00:08:12,191 --> 00:08:14,455
The snooker has become
the snorked!
173
00:08:14,694 --> 00:08:15,854
What are you talking...
174
00:08:18,464 --> 00:08:19,624
She's near.
175
00:08:20,032 --> 00:08:22,330
Hey, Ron.
Tammy.
176
00:08:22,802 --> 00:08:24,167
So, you two are together now.
177
00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:26,296
My condolences to both of you.
178
00:08:26,806 --> 00:08:28,205
You guys were supposed
to vote for me.
179
00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:30,708
Leslie, I would never
do anything to help you.
180
00:08:30,943 --> 00:08:32,706
You've always been
against me and Ron.
181
00:08:32,778 --> 00:08:34,837
You're a big part of the reason
that he and I aren't together,
182
00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:36,882
and I had to settle
for this placeholder.
183
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:38,912
I love you so much.
184
00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:42,113
So you thought if you voted for Ron
you could actually win him back?
185
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,888
Yeah. That's right.
Did it work, baby?
186
00:08:44,957 --> 00:08:47,118
Are you horny with gratitude?
187
00:08:50,229 --> 00:08:53,289
You two more than deserve
each other. Good luck.
188
00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:56,461
The vote is tomorrow.
189
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:59,903
If I don't get Jamm out from
Tammy's clutches, I'm doomed.
190
00:09:00,039 --> 00:09:02,030
It's like rescuing
a bunny from a lion.
191
00:09:02,241 --> 00:09:06,337
But that lion is a demonic sociopath
with really nice cleavage.
192
00:09:08,814 --> 00:09:10,907
Hey, buddy. What's the happs?
193
00:09:10,983 --> 00:09:13,713
Hey, Knopey. I'm just doing
a little wood work in here.
194
00:09:13,786 --> 00:09:16,380
Tammy got me into it.
I've gotten real good.
195
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,888
Ow!
196
00:09:18,958 --> 00:09:21,688
You know, funny coincidence,
Ron is also a woodworker.
197
00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:24,457
Small world.
198
00:09:24,530 --> 00:09:26,828
Hey, no hard feels
about yesterday, right?
199
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:29,697
Hard feels?
What are you, crazins?
200
00:09:29,769 --> 00:09:33,603
It was so great to catch up. I was
thinking maybe we grab lunch, bestie?
201
00:09:34,607 --> 00:09:37,940
Lunch? Yeah, I'm not having
lunch with you, Knope.
202
00:09:38,010 --> 00:09:39,409
Now, get out of here!
203
00:09:39,478 --> 00:09:40,672
Okay.
204
00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:43,909
We got to be real careful.
I think Tammy bugged my office.
205
00:09:44,050 --> 00:09:46,348
Just loudly say
that you're leaving.
206
00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:51,049
Well, that's disappointing!
I guess I'll leave now!
207
00:09:51,123 --> 00:09:54,217
Sell it.
Through the door I go!
208
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:58,855
Creek. Slam. Klip, klop.
Klip, klop. Klip, klop.
209
00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:00,796
Yeah, that's right,
you get out of here!
210
00:10:00,866 --> 00:10:01,992
Okay, I'm far away.
211
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:04,763
Yeah, I can see you're
out of my office now.
212
00:10:04,837 --> 00:10:06,600
Oh, my God,
what are we doing? Let's go.
213
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:09,163
All right, we're here.
214
00:10:10,209 --> 00:10:12,677
Sir, where the hell are we?
Chicago.
215
00:10:13,079 --> 00:10:14,876
That'll be $830.
216
00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:17,939
Oh, no! This is so dumb!
Oh, awesome.
217
00:10:18,017 --> 00:10:19,746
Turn the car around.
We're going back home.
218
00:10:19,819 --> 00:10:22,379
No way. Pay me.
And get the hell outta my cab.
219
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:23,547
Pay the man.
220
00:10:24,657 --> 00:10:27,148
Chicago!
221
00:10:27,493 --> 00:10:28,858
The big apple.
222
00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:31,227
Well, that's where Lucy works.
223
00:10:31,364 --> 00:10:32,888
Yeah? We must've given
the cabbie the address.
224
00:10:33,099 --> 00:10:35,124
Why do I make such
dumb decisions when I'm drunk?
225
00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:36,896
At least this time I didn't
adopt a pot-bellied pig.
226
00:10:37,103 --> 00:10:39,901
Hampton. I loved him.
I miss him too.
227
00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:41,462
All right, let's go home.
228
00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:44,600
What? No. We came all this way.
Tom, we should at least say hi.
229
00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:46,872
No. You can't not talk to
someone for five years
230
00:10:46,946 --> 00:10:49,642
and then show up unannounced where
they work in a different city.
231
00:10:49,715 --> 00:10:51,774
That's what murderers do
before they murder someone.
232
00:10:51,851 --> 00:10:52,840
Tom?
233
00:10:53,019 --> 00:10:54,384
I thought that was you.
What are you doing here?
234
00:10:54,754 --> 00:10:56,187
Oh, uh...
235
00:10:56,255 --> 00:10:57,449
You're not gonna
murder me, are you?
236
00:10:58,357 --> 00:11:01,656
No. I'm here doin' stuff.
237
00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:02,750
Um...
238
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:05,820
Lucy. Hey. Andy
Dwyer, remember me?
239
00:11:05,898 --> 00:11:08,958
Yeah. He's here helping
me find a place to live.
240
00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:10,627
I just got a job here.
241
00:11:10,703 --> 00:11:12,967
And then when you hit him
up on Gryzzl, he was like,
242
00:11:13,039 --> 00:11:15,872
"Let's go say hi to Lucy since
we're already here in Chicago."
243
00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:17,769
Yeah. That's the deal.
244
00:11:18,110 --> 00:11:19,270
Cool, what job is it?
245
00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:20,970
Head coach of the Chicago Bulls.
246
00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:23,382
No, he's working
at a non-profit.
247
00:11:23,549 --> 00:11:24,914
No. What? Am I?
248
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:26,507
Oh, that sucks.
249
00:11:26,652 --> 00:11:28,916
Well, listen, I got some stuff
I gotta do in the office,
250
00:11:28,988 --> 00:11:30,114
but I wanna hang out.
251
00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:31,520
Do you wanna meet
me here in an hour?
252
00:11:31,757 --> 00:11:33,224
Yeah, that sounds great.
253
00:11:33,325 --> 00:11:35,486
We'll go a little
Chicago deep dish pizza.
254
00:11:35,561 --> 00:11:37,085
And go watch the Bears.
And... No.
255
00:11:37,163 --> 00:11:38,596
I'm sorry I started doing that.
256
00:11:42,301 --> 00:11:43,893
Hey, April. How's it going?
Fine.
257
00:11:44,336 --> 00:11:48,102
Except hearing Joan talk about her
passion and doing what you really love
258
00:11:48,174 --> 00:11:49,505
totally freaked me out.
259
00:11:49,575 --> 00:11:52,567
Eight years ago, I accepted a random
internship at the parks department,
260
00:11:52,645 --> 00:11:54,636
and then Leslie told me
to do a bunch of stuff,
261
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,239
and now I'm executive director
of regional whatever,
262
00:11:57,316 --> 00:11:58,305
and I don't even know
what it means.
263
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:00,784
And I never even asked myself
if I even really like it.
264
00:12:01,087 --> 00:12:02,987
I mean, it's like,
what is my purpose in life?
265
00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:04,283
What do I even care about?
266
00:12:05,758 --> 00:12:06,952
My insides are dying.
267
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,661
So, not fine.
268
00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:11,558
I don't know what to do.
I have to quit.
269
00:12:11,630 --> 00:12:15,066
And go to Nepal and lick a
toad and go on a vision quest.
270
00:12:15,134 --> 00:12:18,433
Okay, hold on. Let's just
take a deep breath, okay?
271
00:12:19,038 --> 00:12:20,335
What else would you wanna do?
272
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,306
Like, what are you
passionate about?
273
00:12:22,374 --> 00:12:24,205
I don't know.
274
00:12:24,276 --> 00:12:27,006
Sleeping. Barking at mailmen.
275
00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:30,139
Catching Frisbees in my mouth.
Drinking from the toilet.
276
00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:32,376
Great. Come here. Have a seat.
277
00:12:32,451 --> 00:12:34,544
I am going to help you.
278
00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:37,953
There is this online vocational
test I sometimes take for fun
279
00:12:38,023 --> 00:12:40,491
to see if I can ever
get "astronaut."
280
00:12:40,559 --> 00:12:43,084
Ugh! That is the nerdiest
thing I've ever heard.
281
00:12:43,162 --> 00:12:44,561
Why don't you take it?
See what you get.
282
00:12:44,864 --> 00:12:46,388
Can't hurt, right?
283
00:12:53,072 --> 00:12:54,664
Are you checking to see
if I get "astronaut"?
284
00:12:54,740 --> 00:12:56,071
Yes. It would kill me.
285
00:12:57,076 --> 00:12:59,510
So this is where you wanna eat lunch?
In a steakhouse?
286
00:12:59,912 --> 00:13:01,539
Don't you have
irritable bowel syndrome?
287
00:13:01,714 --> 00:13:02,976
God, I hate that I know that.
288
00:13:03,048 --> 00:13:05,278
Yeah, it's murder
on the old plumbing.
289
00:13:05,818 --> 00:13:07,911
But Tammy only wants me
to eat steak and whiskey.
290
00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:11,048
She has my stool analyzed
just to keep me honest.
291
00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:12,855
Well, that's love for you.
292
00:13:19,031 --> 00:13:20,555
Smooth.
293
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:22,692
I don't think this
relationship is that healthy.
294
00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:25,869
I mean it seems like Tammy is
trying to turn you into Ron.
295
00:13:26,438 --> 00:13:28,736
And you're Jeremy Jamm!
I mean, come on.
296
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:31,140
You love Porsches
and spiked iced tea.
297
00:13:31,210 --> 00:13:32,871
And you have a
Hooters platinum card.
298
00:13:33,078 --> 00:13:35,478
Yeah. Tammy doesn't really let
me do that stuff anymore.
299
00:13:35,581 --> 00:13:38,744
But, you know, it's good, you know?
I'm better now.
300
00:13:38,984 --> 00:13:42,750
I mean, sure, I'm depressed,
and I'm constantly sick,
301
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:45,791
and nothing really brings me joy.
But it just feels right.
302
00:13:48,527 --> 00:13:50,961
Oh, God!
Oh, boy.
303
00:13:51,130 --> 00:13:54,691
Help me, Knope. I used to be so great.
Remember?
304
00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:56,792
Everybody thought so.
Well...
305
00:13:56,869 --> 00:13:58,336
Oh, God! Oh, God!
306
00:13:58,404 --> 00:14:00,167
Wow. This is worse
than I thought.
307
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:04,207
You're broken.
She has broken you.
308
00:14:04,276 --> 00:14:05,800
You need to get away from her.
309
00:14:05,945 --> 00:14:08,436
No, it's hopeless. I can't.
310
00:14:08,714 --> 00:14:10,113
I'm powerless against her.
311
00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:12,582
We're just gonna get married,
have a bunch of kids.
312
00:14:12,651 --> 00:14:13,743
It's gonna be great.
No.
313
00:14:13,819 --> 00:14:17,152
She's got her eggs frozen down in
a bunker in El Salvador. Yeah.
314
00:14:17,223 --> 00:14:18,690
You're gonna make more of you?
315
00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:21,483
Oh, God! Whoa! Hey, look at that.
More hair came out.
316
00:14:27,299 --> 00:14:30,632
Okay, the job you're
best suited to is...
317
00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:33,032
"No matches"?
318
00:14:33,305 --> 00:14:35,466
Good Lord,
you stumped the computer.
319
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:38,873
I'm just gonna go live under a bridge and
ask people riddles before they cross.
320
00:14:38,944 --> 00:14:41,469
Okay, hold on. Do you remember
what Joan said at the ceremony?
321
00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:44,277
That it doesn't count as
stripping if no one pays you?
322
00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:45,973
Yes, she did say that.
But no.
323
00:14:46,452 --> 00:14:49,114
She knew she wanted to be
on TV when she was 10.
324
00:14:49,521 --> 00:14:52,149
So, what did you wanna be
when you were 10?
325
00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:59,629
It says here the future of caskets
may just be biodegradable plastic.
326
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:00,721
Oh, you don't say.
327
00:15:00,799 --> 00:15:03,632
Hey. Are you chilly? I'm a
little chilly, I think. No.
328
00:15:03,702 --> 00:15:06,262
Hey, guys.
Welcome. I'm Dan.
329
00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:09,340
Hi. I'm Ben, this is April.
And I'm scared of death.
330
00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:13,106
I'm just really interested
in learning what you do.
331
00:15:13,345 --> 00:15:16,246
You're gonna love it here.
People are dying to get in.
332
00:15:17,783 --> 00:15:20,343
Come on, come on. We'll start
down at the cadaver chute!
333
00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:23,781
The cadaver chute.
Come on!
334
00:15:26,025 --> 00:15:27,959
Yeah, I think you're
really gonna like it here.
335
00:15:28,027 --> 00:15:29,892
And obviously, everyone's
in a really great mood now
336
00:15:29,962 --> 00:15:31,327
because of the Cubs
winning the series.
337
00:15:31,563 --> 00:15:32,552
Yeah.
It seems really nice.
338
00:15:32,631 --> 00:15:34,861
I mean, I am gonna
miss Pawnee, though.
339
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,765
My wife's there
for cryin' out loud.
340
00:15:36,835 --> 00:15:39,269
Yeah, tell me about Pawnee. It
sounds like it's really changed.
341
00:15:39,338 --> 00:15:41,306
Oh, yeah. There's a ton
of new businesses.
342
00:15:41,373 --> 00:15:42,897
Gryzzl came in,
they gave everyone
343
00:15:42,975 --> 00:15:45,136
free tablets
and Wi-Fi and phones.
344
00:15:45,477 --> 00:15:47,775
You can watch Hitch 2
anytime, anywhere!
345
00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:49,607
Finally! That's the dream.
346
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:51,445
Part of me wants
to go back, you know.
347
00:15:51,850 --> 00:15:53,317
I always kinda liked it there.
348
00:15:53,419 --> 00:15:56,183
Man, you got me really
missing Pawnee now.
349
00:15:56,488 --> 00:15:58,888
I don't know what to do. Am I
making the right decision?
350
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:02,685
Hey.
351
00:16:03,062 --> 00:16:05,360
Why are you here? I'm
calling a temporary truce.
352
00:16:05,431 --> 00:16:07,126
You need to help me
break up Jamm and Tammy.
353
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:10,663
Forget it. You just want
Jamm to switch his vote.
354
00:16:10,869 --> 00:16:13,337
What is this, revenge
for Morningstar?
355
00:16:13,405 --> 00:16:14,394
No, it is not about that.
356
00:16:14,740 --> 00:16:15,729
It's not about the vote.
357
00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:18,875
There is a guy in real trouble and you
might be the only one who can help him.
358
00:16:18,944 --> 00:16:20,502
This is about
saving someone's soul.
359
00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:23,479
He is a monster. Monsters
do not have souls.
360
00:16:23,615 --> 00:16:25,640
Uh, have you ever seen
Monsters, Inc.?
361
00:16:26,185 --> 00:16:27,379
No.
Damn it, Ron!
362
00:16:27,453 --> 00:16:29,580
Engage in the culture
once in a while!
363
00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:30,952
Jamm! Get in here!
364
00:16:35,027 --> 00:16:37,393
Good God, man,
what happened to you?
365
00:16:37,696 --> 00:16:38,924
Tammy happened to him!
366
00:16:39,231 --> 00:16:40,823
Remind you of anyone, Ron?
367
00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:45,728
Do you recognize the puffy face?
The hunched-over misery?
368
00:16:45,804 --> 00:16:48,796
The dead, yes somehow,
still crazy eyes?
369
00:16:48,874 --> 00:16:52,469
We need to put our issues aside
and defend this miserable person!
370
00:16:54,046 --> 00:16:56,241
Jeremy.
This is a gold bar.
371
00:16:56,348 --> 00:16:57,372
You keep that in your desk?
372
00:16:57,549 --> 00:16:59,346
I will give you this gold bar
373
00:16:59,418 --> 00:17:02,512
if you say one unflattering
thing about Tammy.
374
00:17:03,155 --> 00:17:04,247
If I do,
375
00:17:05,657 --> 00:17:07,318
does Tammy get to keep the gold?
376
00:17:07,393 --> 00:17:08,382
Oh, my God!
377
00:17:08,660 --> 00:17:12,152
When it comes to Tammy, the code
is the same as that of the battlefield.
378
00:17:12,631 --> 00:17:14,292
First, you leave no man behind.
379
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:17,801
Second, you must protect yourself
against chemical warfare.
380
00:17:18,804 --> 00:17:21,602
Tammy does not abide
by the Geneva Convention.
381
00:17:24,410 --> 00:17:26,378
I made this Tammy
deprogramming kit
382
00:17:26,445 --> 00:17:29,107
in case I ever fell
victim to her again.
383
00:17:29,181 --> 00:17:32,207
First, this is a chastity
belt that I made by hand.
384
00:17:32,351 --> 00:17:36,082
It might be a couple sizes too big
for you, but you can just pad it.
385
00:17:36,355 --> 00:17:38,380
The first step is
to cut out all sex.
386
00:17:39,258 --> 00:17:40,384
That won't be necessary.
387
00:17:40,459 --> 00:17:41,824
We haven't done the deed yet.
388
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:44,624
She lets me rub up
against her leg sometimes.
389
00:17:44,696 --> 00:17:46,288
Well, all the more
reason to wear it.
390
00:17:46,365 --> 00:17:50,358
She knows she has that card left to
play, and you best believe she will.
391
00:17:50,602 --> 00:17:52,433
We're also gonna
try a Pavlovian technique.
392
00:17:52,604 --> 00:17:55,732
Ron is holding
Tammy's perfume, Girth.
393
00:17:57,443 --> 00:17:58,432
Oh.
394
00:17:58,510 --> 00:17:59,534
It smells good.
395
00:18:00,345 --> 00:18:01,334
Again.
396
00:18:01,780 --> 00:18:04,305
Tammy. How many times
are we gonna do this?
397
00:18:04,383 --> 00:18:05,782
Until the bottle
is empty. Again.
398
00:18:05,951 --> 00:18:08,385
Tammy...
399
00:18:08,454 --> 00:18:09,887
Tammy can't save you now!
400
00:18:09,955 --> 00:18:11,547
Where is she? I want her!
401
00:18:11,623 --> 00:18:12,612
Again.
402
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,017
Twice.
403
00:18:14,293 --> 00:18:16,386
Tam... No!
404
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,894
It's going well so far
but it's too early to tell.
405
00:18:23,569 --> 00:18:25,093
He was pretty far gone.
406
00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:28,734
Hopefully, we get
a body in today
407
00:18:28,807 --> 00:18:31,241
so I can show you guys
the really fun part.
408
00:18:31,743 --> 00:18:33,973
Draining! Oh, God! I
hate this so much.
409
00:18:34,146 --> 00:18:35,545
Cool. Can I touch
a dead body?
410
00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:37,548
Whoa! Slow down,
eager beaver!
411
00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:39,413
That doesn't happen
for at least a year.
412
00:18:39,818 --> 00:18:42,343
Why? How did you become a mortician?
Can't I just sign up?
413
00:18:42,454 --> 00:18:43,546
Oh, gosh, no!
414
00:18:43,889 --> 00:18:46,551
You need two years of school and
a year-long apprenticeship.
415
00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:49,828
The first few years are
mostly paperwork and filing.
416
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:52,760
Why is every job just paperwork?
417
00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:55,863
Hey, it's a living.
418
00:18:56,368 --> 00:18:57,460
Get it?
419
00:18:57,536 --> 00:19:01,199
Right. 'Cause we're
surrounded by death. This is fun.
420
00:19:01,273 --> 00:19:03,764
Yeah. I think
we're gonna go, Dan.
421
00:19:03,842 --> 00:19:06,072
The reality of your life
is incredibly depressing.
422
00:19:06,245 --> 00:19:10,341
I'm just gonna stay at my current job until
I get old and die and then end up here,
423
00:19:10,415 --> 00:19:11,939
being embalmed by some weirdo
424
00:19:12,017 --> 00:19:14,986
who had to go to school for three
years just to cut my guts open.
425
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:16,685
Let's go.
Oh, thank God!
426
00:19:17,189 --> 00:19:19,123
Okay, have a good one.
427
00:19:20,726 --> 00:19:22,751
I gotta say, hanging out
with Lucy's been so fun.
428
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:25,797
She's the best. And I love
that she's buying us stuff!
429
00:19:25,864 --> 00:19:27,559
Dude, make your move.
Ask her out.
430
00:19:27,633 --> 00:19:29,999
I dunno, she lives here.
How would it even work?
431
00:19:30,202 --> 00:19:32,762
Life is about taking risks.
Look at me, Tom.
432
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:34,237
I'm moving to Chicago!
433
00:19:34,606 --> 00:19:37,131
It's just us right now. Do you
really think you're moving here?
434
00:19:37,209 --> 00:19:39,268
One XXL, one kid's XL.
435
00:19:39,378 --> 00:19:41,073
Hey! You remembered my size!
Yeah.
436
00:19:41,146 --> 00:19:42,477
Thank you.
You're welcome.
437
00:19:42,781 --> 00:19:44,214
Hey, Lucy, can I
ask you something?
438
00:19:44,516 --> 00:19:48,145
Of course, what's up? I was
wondering would you wanna maybe...
439
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,554
Come work for me in Pawnee?
440
00:19:51,890 --> 00:19:56,293
I got the company and it's growing
so fast, I can't do it all myself.
441
00:19:56,361 --> 00:19:58,522
And I need a manager, and
you're a perfect candidate.
442
00:19:58,730 --> 00:19:59,992
Wow, really?
443
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,898
That does sound kinda awesome.
444
00:20:03,669 --> 00:20:05,603
And it'd be super fun
to work with you.
445
00:20:05,837 --> 00:20:07,771
I mean, I'd have to talk to my
boyfriend about it first, but...
446
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,132
Yeah, of course!
447
00:20:10,442 --> 00:20:11,431
This is all perfect,
448
00:20:11,510 --> 00:20:14,479
and everything's worked out
just as I'd hoped.
449
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:16,571
Hey, this is why they
call it Beantown, huh?
450
00:20:18,116 --> 00:20:19,777
Okay. We're gonna
do some scenes
451
00:20:19,851 --> 00:20:22,183
and demonstrate ways
that you can resist Tammy.
452
00:20:22,254 --> 00:20:24,188
I will play Tammy,
Ron will play you.
453
00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:26,251
"Hey there, horsey.
454
00:20:26,525 --> 00:20:29,619
"Time to mount up and
ride on into Bonertown.
455
00:20:29,795 --> 00:20:34,027
"What do you say we get stanky in
that pet store bathroom, Jamm?"
456
00:20:34,099 --> 00:20:35,191
Hmm? Huh?
457
00:20:35,267 --> 00:20:38,031
Do it. "There will
be no sex today, Tammy."
458
00:20:38,103 --> 00:20:39,092
Oh!
459
00:20:39,204 --> 00:20:42,970
"Instead, why don't you go into the pet
store and feed yourself to the snakes?
460
00:20:43,208 --> 00:20:45,233
"To hell with you
woman, goodbye."
461
00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:47,541
"Hey, ya big hunk
of wiener meat.
462
00:20:47,946 --> 00:20:52,349
"I've got forty hand towels, some
energy bars, and a Chinese finger trap.
463
00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:54,282
"Let's get gross."
464
00:20:54,386 --> 00:20:58,550
"This gambit has failed. To
hell with you woman, goodbye."
465
00:20:58,790 --> 00:21:01,884
What are you wearing? It's a
crotch blinder of my own design.
466
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:05,225
In this scenario, she will
be coming at you pants-less.
467
00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:09,298
Okay, the doors are
locked, windows secured,
468
00:21:09,368 --> 00:21:11,666
there is no way Tammy's
getting in here.
469
00:21:11,737 --> 00:21:15,503
"Jamm! Strip down,
you sex maggot!"
470
00:21:15,574 --> 00:21:16,700
And hold!
471
00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:18,699
What was your mistake?
472
00:21:18,877 --> 00:21:20,742
You didn't check the armoire.
473
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:25,376
Tammy once camped out in my attic
for six days awaiting my arrival.
474
00:21:25,617 --> 00:21:29,451
She survived on rats and rainwater.
Let's run it again!
475
00:21:30,355 --> 00:21:32,016
Well, no offense, but you
kind of pooched it today.
476
00:21:32,090 --> 00:21:33,717
No, I didn't.
477
00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:36,022
She has a boyfriend, she wouldn't
have gone out with me anyway.
478
00:21:36,094 --> 00:21:38,756
I came here to find a love partner, and
instead I found a business partner.
479
00:21:38,830 --> 00:21:42,163
You know who else started off
as business partners?
480
00:21:42,367 --> 00:21:43,834
Ben and Jerry.
481
00:21:43,902 --> 00:21:45,802
They now have
over 1,000 flavors.
482
00:21:45,904 --> 00:21:49,203
The greatest of which, might
I add, is Chunky Monkey.
483
00:21:49,274 --> 00:21:51,139
So to answer your question, yes.
484
00:21:51,209 --> 00:21:53,006
Yes, we should go get
Ben & Jerry's right now.
485
00:21:53,078 --> 00:21:55,478
No, we're gonna miss
our flight. Taxi!
486
00:21:55,547 --> 00:21:56,707
Don't you see the connection?
487
00:21:56,782 --> 00:21:59,808
Lucy's great, we're gonna work together,
she has a boyfriend, end of story.
488
00:21:59,885 --> 00:22:00,909
It's not end of story.
489
00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:02,476
I watched you guys today
and there is a spark.
490
00:22:02,754 --> 00:22:06,952
A real magic like when walnuts meet
chocolate inside of ice-cream.
491
00:22:07,025 --> 00:22:09,653
Tom, let's go!
No, get in the cab.
492
00:22:10,662 --> 00:22:12,391
Ben & Jerry's.
493
00:22:12,464 --> 00:22:14,625
Airport, please.
494
00:22:14,700 --> 00:22:17,897
Go without me! I'll meet
you there! Ben & Jerry's!
495
00:22:19,004 --> 00:22:20,869
Okay, be strong, be direct.
496
00:22:20,939 --> 00:22:23,567
Be quick and merciless.
Leave no room for debate.
497
00:22:23,642 --> 00:22:26,304
Don't forget, you're Jeremy Jamm,
you drive a yellow sports car,
498
00:22:26,378 --> 00:22:28,209
you have a golf club cover
shaped like a boob.
499
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,009
You say "marg" instead
of "margarita."
500
00:22:30,215 --> 00:22:31,239
Yeah, I invented that.
501
00:22:31,316 --> 00:22:32,613
Sure you did, buddy.
502
00:22:33,719 --> 00:22:34,708
Let's go.
503
00:22:37,956 --> 00:22:38,945
Hey, Jerebear.
504
00:22:39,091 --> 00:22:40,752
What are you doing
with these two jabronis?
505
00:22:40,892 --> 00:22:45,158
Tammy, I've given this a lot of thought.
We should break up.
506
00:22:48,967 --> 00:22:50,161
What's the matter, little boy?
507
00:22:50,469 --> 00:22:51,902
Did the bad people get to you?
508
00:22:52,104 --> 00:22:54,265
They just made me realize
how unhealthy this is.
509
00:22:54,873 --> 00:22:57,637
Literally. All the steak and
whiskey, I have to wear a diaper.
510
00:22:57,843 --> 00:22:59,708
That's
'cause you're my widdle baby!
511
00:22:59,845 --> 00:23:01,142
We drilled you on this, Jamm!
512
00:23:01,513 --> 00:23:02,775
Baby talk, what do you do?
513
00:23:03,482 --> 00:23:05,211
I'm not a baby!
I'm a big boy!
514
00:23:05,984 --> 00:23:07,781
Yeah, okay. Well,
that wasn't terrible.
515
00:23:08,253 --> 00:23:10,619
Don't listen to Leslie, she's
just trying to manipulate you.
516
00:23:10,689 --> 00:23:12,919
All she cares about is
herself and I can prove it.
517
00:23:13,358 --> 00:23:14,689
How's this, Leslie?
518
00:23:15,293 --> 00:23:18,421
You leave us alone, and
we swing the vote to you.
519
00:23:18,697 --> 00:23:19,891
Help you get your park.
520
00:23:22,434 --> 00:23:24,868
No. Nice try.
Stay strong, Jeremy.
521
00:23:26,004 --> 00:23:27,733
It's over, Tammy.
Tell you what.
522
00:23:28,173 --> 00:23:29,435
It's been long enough.
523
00:23:29,775 --> 00:23:34,678
What do you say we consummate
our relationship tonight?
524
00:23:34,746 --> 00:23:36,714
Huh?
525
00:23:36,782 --> 00:23:38,147
Let's do it.
526
00:23:40,018 --> 00:23:42,680
And the last card is played.
527
00:23:42,821 --> 00:23:45,187
What are you doing?
This is a library!
528
00:23:45,290 --> 00:23:46,518
Do you see what's
happening here?
529
00:23:46,591 --> 00:23:48,286
Ron. I need that
crotch blinder!
530
00:23:48,593 --> 00:23:50,493
No, you don't.
Just end it.
531
00:23:52,597 --> 00:23:53,689
Look at my boobs.
No.
532
00:23:53,765 --> 00:23:54,823
Look downstairs.
No.
533
00:23:54,900 --> 00:23:56,959
There's a prize inside for you.
It's over, Tammy.
534
00:23:57,669 --> 00:23:58,693
What?
535
00:23:58,770 --> 00:24:00,738
To hell with you, woman.
Goodbye.
536
00:24:01,406 --> 00:24:02,737
How dare you?
537
00:24:03,074 --> 00:24:04,735
Are you kidding me?
538
00:24:04,910 --> 00:24:06,878
You'll be back.
They all come back!
539
00:24:06,945 --> 00:24:08,503
They call come back!
Well done, Jeremy.
540
00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:11,909
Turns out the crotch blinder
was inside you all along.
541
00:24:11,983 --> 00:24:15,475
Come on, everybody! Who wants
to get it on? I'm naked.
542
00:24:17,622 --> 00:24:19,180
Donna, what do I do?
543
00:24:19,491 --> 00:24:22,619
If working around corpses isn't
even right for me, then nothing is.
544
00:24:23,528 --> 00:24:25,155
I feel totally lost.
545
00:24:26,164 --> 00:24:28,291
Saturn's Return.
What?
546
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:31,335
Saturn's orbit around the sun
takes roughly 29 years,
547
00:24:31,670 --> 00:24:33,638
and when it gets back to where
it was when you were born,
548
00:24:33,805 --> 00:24:36,137
lots of turmoil,
self-discovery.
549
00:24:36,208 --> 00:24:39,302
When I was your age, I got banned
from every riverboat in Germany.
550
00:24:39,578 --> 00:24:41,637
Donna. April.
What're you up to?
551
00:24:41,813 --> 00:24:43,940
Oh, you know.
Just regionally directing
552
00:24:44,015 --> 00:24:46,142
the Midwest whatever
of who cares.
553
00:24:46,351 --> 00:24:47,875
It's amazing. Wanna watch?
554
00:24:47,953 --> 00:24:51,445
I fill out these forms like
this and then I put it here.
555
00:24:51,756 --> 00:24:53,951
Then I take it
and I bring it over here.
556
00:24:54,192 --> 00:24:55,784
Can you believe that
they pay me for this?
557
00:24:55,861 --> 00:24:58,728
Because, don't say anything,
but I would do this for free.
558
00:25:00,732 --> 00:25:01,721
Jeez!
559
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:04,701
I do miss you, Terry.
560
00:25:05,103 --> 00:25:06,570
Let me get you some napkins.
561
00:25:06,805 --> 00:25:09,638
April. You looked at
one horrifying job.
562
00:25:10,475 --> 00:25:13,501
I've got a few more ideas. We'll
find you something you like. Okay?
563
00:25:13,845 --> 00:25:16,837
Okay, but you can't tell
Leslie I might leave.
564
00:25:16,915 --> 00:25:18,507
She'll have a heart attack.
Promise?
565
00:25:18,750 --> 00:25:21,514
I promise. Why are you so
into helping me right now?
566
00:25:21,586 --> 00:25:23,850
Because I'm finally
doing what I love,
567
00:25:23,922 --> 00:25:26,254
and I know how hard it is
to get to that place.
568
00:25:26,458 --> 00:25:30,827
And I want you to be happy,
because you're my friend.
569
00:25:31,263 --> 00:25:34,130
No, I'm not.
I've never cared for you.
570
00:25:37,402 --> 00:25:38,562
Wait, wait.
571
00:25:41,139 --> 00:25:42,868
You're behaving very strangely.
572
00:25:44,809 --> 00:25:45,833
Saturn's Return.
573
00:25:46,845 --> 00:25:48,039
Hey, Brokemons.
574
00:25:48,547 --> 00:25:52,005
I just wanted to let you know that I
will be abstaining from the vote today.
575
00:25:52,083 --> 00:25:53,846
You are my two
all-time best friends.
576
00:25:53,952 --> 00:25:55,544
And you brought me
back from the brink.
577
00:25:55,620 --> 00:25:57,713
So, I can't choose sides.
578
00:25:58,123 --> 00:25:59,522
Although, if I had
to pick one side,
579
00:25:59,591 --> 00:26:02,458
it would be Lucy Liu's backside.
580
00:26:05,764 --> 00:26:08,028
Without Jamm,
the vote's two-two.
581
00:26:08,433 --> 00:26:09,593
This was all for nothing.
582
00:26:10,402 --> 00:26:11,596
I thought it was very big of you
583
00:26:11,670 --> 00:26:14,571
to not bend when Tammy
promised you the vote.
584
00:26:15,407 --> 00:26:17,432
Well, I thought it was very big
of you to help him at all.
585
00:26:18,443 --> 00:26:19,467
You didn't have to do that.
586
00:26:22,213 --> 00:26:24,181
Okay. Back to work, to figure
out how to destroy you.
587
00:26:24,249 --> 00:26:25,238
Same. Goodbye.
588
00:26:27,485 --> 00:26:29,885
Dude, thank you so much for this.
I really owe you one.
589
00:26:29,955 --> 00:26:33,391
No, you don't. You're smart and qualified
and we're totally lucky to have you.
590
00:26:33,592 --> 00:26:34,854
Okay, let's do this.
591
00:26:35,026 --> 00:26:37,221
I still don't know what
"claiming allowances" means.
592
00:26:37,295 --> 00:26:39,695
I always just put six.
So far, so good.
593
00:26:39,831 --> 00:26:41,662
Dude, you are totally
going to jail.
594
00:26:43,668 --> 00:26:46,136
See? What did I tell you?
595
00:26:46,204 --> 00:26:48,468
Ice-cream is the best.
596
00:26:49,341 --> 00:26:52,037
I might have been right
about Tom and Lucy, too.
597
00:26:55,246 --> 00:26:56,770
Ice-cream.
598
00:26:59,500 --> 00:27:07,500
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