All language subtitles for Parks and Recreation (2009) - S06E07 - Recall Vote (1080p BluRay x265 Silence)

Business at Rent A Swag
could not be better.

Yesterday, Jaden Smith
came in, and he was like...

"Look. I want to quit the music/acting
business and work here with you."

And I was like,

"Jaden, be serious. The world needs you.
You have a gift."

Ever since my client opened
his store across the street,

your sales have plummeted. It's only a matter
of time before you're out of business.

But my client has had
a moment of weakness...

Something he referred
to as "sympathy."

He's made you a final offer.

$40,000 for Rent A Swag
and all of its contents.

I suggest you take it.

Well, I've heard all the facts and
it's pretty obvious what I have to do.

Get a big old mug
of hot chocolate,

put on my thinking PJs,
and get back to you.

The offer's valid for 48 hours.

We would also be interested in
acquiring your thinking PJs.

Listen to me very carefully.

No matter what happens,
you will never

acquire my thinking PJs
or my YouTube blazer.

Non-negotiable.

Ripped By mstoll

Sorry.

Larry, everyone else
was able to make it

to the committee
meeting on time.

What's your excuse?
I was voting for you

in the recall election. Lots of
people wearing Leslie Knope buttons.

La-la-la...

No discussion about the recall election
until the polls close at 8:00.

Let's focus on
what we can control.

In 24 hours, we are going
to transform City Hall

into the best haunted house
Pawnee has ever seen.

There's been a mistake.
This says that I'm in charge

of the "Silly Skeleton Room."

When, really, it should say the
"Undead Serial Killer Room."

Who do I talk to
about changing this?

It's Recall Day.
I've made my case.

And the latest polls
have it as a dead heat.

So, there's nothing
left to do but wait.

But I'm fine. I mean, I've got stuff to do.
I'm planning a haunted house.

Plus... Um...
It's Kevin Pollak's birthday.

That's something
to focus on today.

Who cares about the recall?
It's Kevin's day.

I don't know what to do. I could
take the offer and break even,

but I've come so far.

Ron. Can you put some more tiny
marshmallows in my hot "chocky"?

Thank you.

If there was something
I could do for you, I would.

Maybe you should try taking a walk.
Out of my office.

Ron! You're in bloosh!

What? Ron's in bloosh?
Ron is in bloosh.

What is bloosh?

Bloosh is a weekly lifestyle
e-mail written by Annabel Porter.

She used to be the face
of the Eagleton phone book.

Then, she moved to Hollywood to
pursue her dream of becoming

friends with a bunch
of celebrities.

Then, she moved back
to become a lifestyle guru.

She's legit. She spent four months
living in Kate Bosworth's pool house.

"A Ron Swanson designed chair is
the must-have item of the season,

"along with red quinoa, wind
therapy, and buying an island."

Annabel says that buying an
island is the only real way

to know that your goji berry
farm is pesticide free.

I've been trying to get Rent
A Swag in bloosh for months.

And now that you got in,
I can get in, too.

Congratulations, Ron.
We did it.

Someone's getting
a new leather jacket.

I don't want a leather jacket.

It's for me. This is a great day!

Ron's in bloosh!
Ron's in bloosh!

- What?
- Ron's in bloosh!

Do it!
Ron's in bloosh!

April, you seem depressed.
And I would know.

I spent most of last year being
treated by Dr. Richard Nygard

for my own emotional problems.

Yeah, I just miss Andy.

Halloween was, like,
kind of our thing.

Every year, we would dress up like
demons and egg Larry's house.

That was you?
Larry, please.

We're having
a private conversation.

Well, I'd like to make
Halloween fun for you.

Like Andy would have.
Starting right now.

With scary, scary monster claws!

Okay, people, the grand
opening is in 20 hours.

Larry, you had the easiest job.

Two triangles and a tooth.
Nobody wants

Gengurch-family-themed
jack-o-lanterns.

Gail likes them.
Is any of this even good?

Why didn't we call it
City Halloween?

Okay. We need to
change every single banner.

Leslie's been holding it
together pretty well.

But today is when
she needs us the most.

That's why we formed the Leslie
Knope Emotional Support Task Force.

Anything she could possibly need to
get her through these final hours,

we've got it covered.
Mmm-hmm.

Back rubs. YouTube videos of turtles
and birds becoming friends.

A poster announcing
the new Lilith Fair concert.

It's fake,
but it will buy us an hour.

We even have a secret hand signal
in case we think she needs help.

It's loosely based on
the Klingon greeting salute.

I just learned that. And if I had
known, I would not have agreed to it.

Uh... Hey, Leslie?

How about, instead of slightly
changing a lot of banners,

we paint our toenails
to look like pumpkins?

Fun! Ann, you're a genius. Your brain
is almost as perfect as your face.

Oh.

Hey, Ron, baby. What are
the hot deets on bloosh?

Start over
and speak differently.

Sorry. Did you
call that PR guy?

What's the latest news?
Apparently, Joan Callamezzo

wants me to go on Pawnee Today to discuss
my chairs with this Porter woman.

I said no.

Ron, you said if there were something
you could do to help me, you would.

Getting into bloosh is my
last chance to save my store.

You have to go and take me
so I can meet her. Please?

Fine. If it's that important
to your company, I'll do it.

Yes!
Nice.

Now, I know high-end,

Internet-only lifestyle magazine
really isn't your scene.

So, Donna and I wrote up
some cocktail banter

and some conversation snippets for
you to practice so you can fit in.

"Annabel, could I be more jels
of your low-lights right now?

"I mean, oh-M-squee,
talk about bangs envy."

You got a long way to go, Swanson.
Let's go again, from the top.

I regret everything.

Babe, you made it.
It's 8:00.

Thank God. Okay, everyone,
great work as always.

I'm going to stay here and just kind
of wait for the results to pour in.

Thank you.
I'll see you all tomorrow.

We're not going anywhere.
We're staying with you.

No, really, it's going to be
hours before they call it.

We're not leaving, woman.
Stop trying to get rid of us.

Yeah, I made frappuccinos
for a little caffeine boost.

And Larry went to get
pizzas for everyone.

Oh. That's very sweet, you guys. Thank you.
All right, let's hunker down.

It's going to be a long night.

Too close to call. A real nail-biter.
Anybody's game.

These are three phrases you won't
hear tonight, as Leslie Knope

has been voted out of office.

What was expected
to be a close race...

What did he say?
...has actually been a not-close race.

Pawnee voters have decisively
removed Leslie Knope...

Honey, I'm so sorry.

I gotta the pizza. Pizza time.
It's a pizza time.

Larry? Everyone is miserable and
you are only making it worse.

Okay. Leslie's
on her way in.

Is she okay? I left her,
like, 30 voicemails,

and her outgoing message
is just her sobbing

and burping and crazy laughing.

Yeah, you know what? She's
actually handling it pretty well.

Sup, fartwads?

Are you eating a Paunch Burger?

Well, you know what? If you
can't beat them, join them.

I mean, I've been boycotting them
ever since Pinewood and her goons

started this whole recall business.
But who cares now, right?

What does it matter?
Nothing matters anymore.

Mmm. Oh, my God.
This is good.

This is really good.

Why did I ever fight this?

Have you thought about
a concession speech?

Oh. Concession speech?
Yeah. I wrote one.

"Eat my shorts, jabronies.
Knope out."

I thought it best to revisit the
concession speech at a later time.

But we should focus
on the haunted house.

And you know
what I think it needs,

actually, is a papier-m�ch�
Li'I Sebastian!

- What?
- Oh!

Oh!

Hmm.

I'm going to go
fall asleep on a bench.

I can honestly say today's guest
is the only person in this town

who's a bigger deal
than I am.

Please welcome lifestyle guru,
Annabel Porter.

Hello, hello.
It's me. I'm here.

- Yes, you are.
- Hi.

Can I just say, as a journalist,

I feel like we're best friends.

Tell the audience
about yourself.

Well, I'm just a simple former
phonebook model who found her calling.

You know, I'm not perfect.
Oh.

The average woman worries about what
she looks like in a bathing suit.

So does my nanny. So...
Mmm.

- I get it.
- Annabel.

What trends are, pardon
the pun, but, trending?

First of all, Mozambique cashmere
is the new cast iron stove.

Of course.

I have found some amazing new

conflict-free paella recipes.
Mmm.

And luckily, my favorite
fishmonger now makes house calls.

Well, thank God.
Finally.

But my fave new item
is a deliciously bold chair

- by local artist Ron Swanson.
- Mmm.

Ron Swanson is here. He will
be joining us after the break.

So, stick around.

Did that woman
call my chair "delicious"?

Whoo. Happy Halloween.

Caterpillar. Thank you.

Hey, guys. Come on in.

Welcome to the den of horrors.

Where's all the scary stuff? The
scary stuff is invisible, Leah.

Broken dreams, disappointment,
achieving your greatest goal,

having it all fall apart and knowing
that you'll never climb any higher.

Can we have some candy?

I'm going to give you something
sweeter than candy, Ryan.

The truth. It's very possible that
some of you have already peaked.

It's all downhill
from here, turkeys.

Okay. Let's say goodbye
to Ms. Knope, kids.

It is Ms. Knope. It's not
City Councilwoman Knope.

Because that chapter
of my life is already over.

Just remember, kids,
nothing gold can stay.

Okay.

Oh, my goodness. We are back
with America's greatest leader,

Annabel Porter,
and her new favorite artisan,

local woodworker, Ron Swanson.

Hello.

I discovered Ron's chairs
a few months ago.

And what I absolutely love

about a Swanson is you can
really use it for anything.

Yes. Mostly,
you use it for sitting.

Make it a rustic accent
piece in your solarium.

Even better, use it as a focal
point in your yoga tent.

Put it by a table
and eat a meal.

We don't do meals in my home.
No. Every two hours,

we eat what I like
to call a "food tease."

Like an oat wedge
or a seaweed lozenge.

Can I just say, and I think
this is really important,

so I need everyone to shut up.

I love your hair.
Oh.

Thank you. It's genetic
and unattainable.

I am scaring you!

I could see you.

There's, like, a million
mirrors in front of me.

And you're never going to
make me not miss Andy. Okay?

What about this? I'm Burt
Macklin, friendly lifeguard.

Burt Macklin is not a lifeguard.
He's an FBI agent.

Really? That's even harder
to believe.

Just stop. Okay?
Your lame attempts

at trying to cheer me up
are not working.

Now, I'm sad that I miss Andy and sad
that I can't make fun of you to Andy.

I understand. I'm sorry.

I've failed you, both as a
scary monster and a friend.

Hey, I am really sorry.
I know you must feel awful.

I don't feel awful. You know? Actually,
I feel like I can finally relax.

Accepting that you've peaked
is very freeing.

Yeah, I know the feeling. I was impeached
when I was 18 and it was brutal.

But you just have to keep
climbing back up that hill.

Or do you? Maybe instead of working
super hard to rebuild your life,

you just said, "I peaked.
Wow! What a great run.

"And now, I'm going to spend the
rest of my life really chill."

Well, sure. I mean, part of
that sounds very appealing.

Yeah. But, no. See, it
was important for me...

See, I took a job in city
budget crisis management.

And now, I work
for a candy charity.

Oh, God. Did I peak
when I was 18?

There it is. Drink up.

Whoo!
Shots.

B13 shots.

Bird bath salts. What?

Champagne decanters!

This is heaven.

I love your chair. I need 12 for
my stepdaughter's craft room.

Well, I make two a year.
So, maybe in six years.

Can you put me on the wait list?
Me, too.

Unless your chair was ever touched
by someone who ate refined sugar.

Then, I can't buy any of your chairs
and I protest this entire event.

Okay, Ron.
Annabel's coming over.

When you talk me up,
be sure to mention

that you really admire how I take big
risks with men's neck accessories.

There he is. Hello, hello.

Thank you for your kind words
about my chairs, Ms. Porter.

No, thank us. You are
about to make a ton of money.

I want to license your designs. We
are going to put Swanson chairs

in every six-bedroom
home in the Midwest.

If my chairs were
mass-produced,

they wouldn't be Swanson chairs.

Swanson chairs are handmade.

Yes. And now, they will be made by
thousands of tiny Chinese hands.

Oh. Ms. Porter, this is my very
good friend, Tom Haverford.

He's a big fan of your...
Whatever you call what you do.

Please speak to each other
while I leave.

Oh. No, I am not done with you,
you wicked little so-and-so.

Terrific.

You know what? I had my time.
You know? I did my thing.

I wanted to be a City Councilor.

And I did. And I was.
And I was like... Whoo!

And then, people were like...

At least we have each other.
I love you so much.

I love you, too.
This is real.

I know.
You're my husband.

You're my wife. You married
me in front of people.

I did. I was there.
We may have peaked.

But it doesn't matter. We need
to do something big. You know?

Something that really
lets people know

that we're going
to love each other forever.

Yeah! What is it?

I got it.

Hello, sir. We're sober.

We would like to get tattoos on our
bodies because we love each other.

Tattoos?
This is a pawn shop.

But yeah, sure, I can do that.

Oh!
Yes! It's gonna happen!

Look what he's doing!
He's breaking pens!

This is the idea of the century.
Right here.

Ow.

Come here.

My store is called Rent A Swag.

It's a clothing
rental service for teens.

It's an interesting idea.
Are you guys doing well?

We're doing amazing. And it
would be perfect for bloosh.

Why don't you take out whatever
you wrote about my chairs

and put something in about
Rent A Swag instead?

This month's trends are final. I
can't just throw a trend out.

But my bloosh scouts have started
trend-tracking for the February zine blast.

Good God, these words.

I'll have them stop
by your store.

That will be too late. We'll
be out of business by then.

I thought you said
you were doing well.

Ronnie. One last time, have you
reconsidered mass production?

I can sell your chairs
on my site.

No, thank you, ma'am. I'm not interested
in letting someone else sell my work.

Well, that's too bad.

This party is over.
It no longer is. It was.

It was? That was my last shot.

Sorry, Tommy. Let's just grab some
of that lychee body oil and bounce.

Can you grab me some of those
pomegranate face masks, too?

For sure.

Can I ask you a question? Are we the
cutest couple you've ever seen?

Nope. Okay. You want the long
needle or the short needle?

Doesn't matter. Can't find the
short needle.' Long needle it is.

I have a big idea.
I want a portrait

of Eleanor Roosevelt
tastefully done.

And then, she has a very classy
tattoo of Pat Benatar on her arm

and that's very subtle.
Hmm.

No. Scratch that. Scratch all that.
Just write "Ben."

Do you have anything
to numb the pain?

Sure, take a scoop
out of the pill bucket.

Okay. You said you wanted
"Mouth Queen"?

No. Stop. Stop it. Stop everything
that you're doing. Stop it.

Ann's here!
Ann wants a tattoo!

Ann!
No. No. No. Shh!

Ann does not want a tattoo.
No one wants a tattoo.

Ann. Relax.
Be respitable for a second.

Okay? What we are
doing is not nuts.

We are merely
getting tattoos so that

everybody knows we love each other
and that we haven't peaked.

It makes a lot of sense.

Okay, we're leaving. All right?
So, say goodbye to the nice man

and thank me for saving you from being
on Dateline. Okay. Let's go. Come on.

Goodbye, world traveler.
Later, bro-heisen.

Ben.
Come on.

I don't want to be
a failure again, Ron.

There's no shame in failure if
you gave it an honest effort.

Easy for you to say. People are dying
to give you money for your business,

and you didn't even take it.

I didn't sell my chairs to that
website because I value my name.

I mean, the only thing that's
important at the end of the day

is what's on your gravestone.
Your name.

My gravestone's going to be
a 60-inch touch screen

with a hologram of four me's singing
End of the Road by Boyz II Men.

But point taken.

Ben. What is the first rule of the Leslie
Knope Emotional Support Task Force?

"Don't let her get a tattoo."
What the hell happened?

I couldn't help it.

She's so cute when she's coming
up with destructive ideas.

Never send a husband
to do a best friend's job.

Out, Wyatt.
Walk it off. Walk it off.

Fine.

You did it.
Yep.

See you later, Ann.
Nope. Nope, sit down.

Oh.

You are avoiding your problems.

What? No, I'm not. Can we
talk about this tomorrow?

You were down in the polls.

Your opponents were well
funded and well organized.

You must have known
this would be a possibility.

Intellectually, I knew
that I might be in trouble.

But deep in my heart,
I never really thought...

Ben and I tried to help you. But as usual,
you're the best person for the job.

I wrote this. You need to
hear yourself read it.

"They held the recall election
and I lost.

"I was voted out of office.

"In 30 days, I will no longer
be a Pawnee City Councilor."

It's so hard to read when you're drunk.
Keep going.

"But I am Leslie Knope. I am
more than a City Councilor.

"I am an unstoppable
force of energy.

"And I will use those days
to work as hard as I can."

These are all your
ongoing projects.

Everything you're currently
working on for Pawnee.

You have things to do.

You have a month left.
Use it.

Ann, you poetic,
noble land mermaid.

You're right, once again.
Thank you.

I flushed my car keys
down the toilet.

No problem.

No! Stop!

Hello to you, too, April.

I'm sorry I said you were lame.

Okay? You are, but I know you were
just trying to help me. So...

Thank you, April.
Happy Halloween.

And if you want to egg
Larry's house, come find me.

You guys are cute.
Where did that come from?

I'm weak. I miss Andy
and it's making me weak.

Also, if Chris puts that much effort
into making my stupid night better,

I'm sure that he'll make
your lame life perfect.

Or he's secretly super in love with me.
It's probably that.

That's a funny joke, April.
But the truth is,

I'm very much in love with Ann.

Aw.

Okay, gross, spell is broken.

I've made my decision.

And I'll sell you Rent A
Swag, but on my terms.

Which are?

$40,000 for the inventory, the website,
and everything else in the store.

But I keep the name Rent A Swag.
It's mine, and I'm keeping it.

The name is actually
an important part of the sale.

Really? Yes, my client
likes the name.

It's better than Tommy's Closet.
He needs the name.

Well, I don't know
what to tell you. Except...

I'll throw in the name
in exchange for $20,000 more

and 5% of your
client's business.

I'll run it past my client.
But I think we have a deal.

Ron said there's nothing
more valuable than my name.

But he's not a businessman. I am. And now,
I have seed money for my next venture.

I sold out, baby.

The votes have been counted,
and I have been recalled.

I am, of course, disappointed.

But I am still your city
councilwoman for 30 more days.

And I intend to spend
every second I have left

working for you
and this great city.

The thing about being part of the Leslie
Knope Emotional Support Task Force

is that it's a very easy job.

She's never down for that long.

And now that she's had
a little time to recharge,

she is like a toddler
bouncing back from a nap.

Hey. There you guys are.

Okay. Ben, I need some help
with the re-zoning thing.

Also, I think we should
paint our deck.

So, I have some
color samples for you.

And to thank you both for being
there when I needed you,

I carved your faces
into these jack-o-lanterns.

Ann, it was very hard
to capture your beauty.

And, Ben, you make a sexy pumpkin.
No surprise.

Love you both.
See you later.

Okay.

Wow!

That's amazing.

Not bad.

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