Original subtitles

I'm just a kid.

There's a lot I don't know.

But one thing I do know...

is my folks never should have married.

And they definitely should've never had a kid.

But they did. That happens.

The randomness of life and all that.

When the chicken's up, I'm gonna go out back and work on my boat.

Maybe they started out trying to be good parents. I don't know.

But my very first memory in life is...

how much my father loved that damn boat.

Here he is hundreds of miles away from any real water.

And even then we're talking about the Gulf of Mexico.

Just seemed sad to me, somehow.

And my mom has been psychotically obsessed with movie stars...

to a point that defies explanation.

I could use a bath.

Well, go take a bath.

Note that she was going to take a bath...

the shower was out of the question because...

two years ago some pipe in our shower broke.

My father could've fixed it...

but he was so tied up working on the boat...

he hired this Marlon Brando plumber instead.

And the shower never got fixed...

as if it just never happened.

Then there was the Paul Newman thing...

when our roof needed fixing.

And, of course...

our roofing problem never got fixed, either.

And how could I forget the day Audrey Hepburn came over...

to help my mom with the books.

On second thought, I'd really rather not get into that one.

It's not their fault, if you think about it.

It's not like they sat down and had this conference about...

whether they'd get married and bear a son or not.

Anyway...

the story is that years ago my father was a traveling salesman...

that just happened to stop on one Christmas Eve.

My mother was engaged to the son of a pharmacist over at Lubbock...

and he chose the night of the Christmas dance...

to confess he'd fallen in love with this cheerleader from Texas Tech.

I sure could use a hot cup of coffee.

I just made a fresh pot.

So, she was vulnerable that night.

You can't blame her for that.

That is some good, good coffee!

Thank you.

And that's a handsome coat.

To say nothing of your pretty dress, which I love, by the way...

because of the way it matches your eyes.

Not exactly.

Well, of course not exactly, it'd be too obvious.

We both know that's not the kind of woman you are.

Was their meeting some fated day that would magically find us...

happy one day, like a real family?

No, it's not the way things work.

That much, I figured out.

My mother had just come from seeing "Splendor in the Grass", I think.

She went to the movies every day, and we only had one theater, so...

whatever was playing.

That's when it happened...

and it changed my life forever.

Help me. Better get her inside.

Hospital says it will be about a week...

till we can get her down to Galvenston where her grandparents live.

We appreciate you taking her in like this.

- It's the right thing to do. - Thank you, Mr. Reynolds.

It's strange.

My folks can't remember they're married half the time...

and for them I'm just a ghost flipping around the place.

Then they go and agree to take in this girl...

whose parents died in the accident...

'till she got better.

Come in, please.

Brought you stuff for dinner.

Are you aware I have a partially lacerated liver?

Do you even have the slightest concept of what that does to one's appetite?

Not really.

My liver is partially lacerated but...

I don't have a clue what it does to your appetite.

It probably can't help.

I'm not hungry.

OK.

I'll just leave it here for you.

My parents' bodies were sent back to Amarillo...

for burial, I take it.

How was the accidente listed on the official police report?

Speeding...

driving while intoxicated?

I'm not really sure.

My father was a heavy drinker, you know.

No, I...

didn't know that.

Well, now you do.

That was one goddamn accident, that's for sure.

What?

You never heard anyone cuss before?

Well, yeah, but...

not from a girl.

Well, I'm very flawed.

Extremely flawed, if you want to know the truth.

I looked up the word "flawed" in the dictionary.

I kind of knew what it meant but, after reading the definition...

I began to wonder if maybe I was flawed, too.

But the strangest part was that for the first time in my life...

I started to feel something for someone other than myself.

It scared the hell out of me, if you want to know the truth.

But I liked it.

You were screaming.

It's late.

You should go back to sleep.

Jesus!

You're not screwing with me, are you?

- What? - You seem to like me...

which is fine, because I like you, too, but...

if you're acting like you do because my parents are dead...

and you feel sorry for me, then that's just bullshit.

- Hello? - No.

I'm not screwing with you. I like you, too.

Good.

I think it's time for us to leave.

Leave?

Look, those two people you live with...

- they're nice and everything... - My parents?

Right.

But from what I can tell...

they don't really have anything to offer you...

and they certainly don't have a thing to offer me.

So, where are we going?

Baltimore.

I have an aunt and an uncle there.

I haven't seen them since I was five but...

from what I can remember, they're extremely hip.

But I thought when you got better you were going to go...

live with your grandparents in Galvenston.

Look...

Ben...

there's what happens to you in life and there's what you make happen.

It's the difference between having a plan and not.

- Do you see what I'm driving at here? - Yeah. I think so.

Good.

Well, I'm used to getting up at the break of day...

being all melodramatic about this.

How much did you get?

25 bucks.

Well, it's 25 more bucks than we had before.

That's true.

See, a real plan is more than just some pipe dream.

Pipe dream?

A pipe dream is an unrealistic fantasy...

that deludes oneself into thinking that it's an actual plan.

It's a very popular expression.

I'm surprised you've never heard of it before.

I didn't say I never heard it.

Anyway, a real plan is an actual goal...

that you believe in enough to create a set of circumstances...

which leads you to and into a plan.

- Do you understand? - Where do you come with this stuff?

I mean, what part of your brain works so hard...

that it makes you think and talk like that?

My father was a professor with a very wide vocabulary...

and lots of unique ideas.

When he wasn't teaching the students, he taught me.

So, what did your mom do?

She never did anything.

You know...

I think most of what you say is true.

Some I just don't understand.

But I also think you like to screw with people's heads.

I may be wrong sometimes...

but I won't ever screw with your head.

Ever.

Me, too.

Ever.

Take a look at our new home, farmboy.

Here?

See that pan over there?

It's a hoghouse.

Now, why would a perfectly good hog...

not be outside on a day like this?

So you're saying they don't have any more hogs?

I'm making a calculated deduction.

So, what's your plan?

It's important.

I need to know what kind of plan you have for your life.

My wife saw you come in from across the road.

She made you these sandwiches.

There's a well by the gas tank if...

you need water.

How much do we owe you...

for room, and board and water?

I imagine going to sleep...

to the smell of pig shit ought to do it.

OK.

I want to be a pitcher for the St. Louis Cardinals.

So, you'll be a pitcher for the Cardinals?

I like that plan.

Do you know how many kids my age want to play in the Major Leagues?

No.

But I don't think it matters.

I'm just saying it's more what you'll call a pipe dream than an actual plan.

Are you any good?

I'm always the best in my league.

Is it what you really want to do?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Then, it's not a pipe dream, it's a plan.

Learn to embrace it.

Cassie?

Did you know Joe Nuxhall is the youngest guy ever...

to play for the Major Leagues?

Yeah.

He started pitching for the Cincinatti Reds at 15.

This is correct. And more than once you're gonna break his record.

Try hitting the corners. You're putting everything right down the middle.

I'm not putting everything right down the middle.

Come on! It's the seventh game of the World Series.

Bottom of the ninth.

Bases are full, two out.

You've got two strikes up. One more strike and he's yours.

And you know the only pitch you could throw is the outside slider...

because that's the only pitch he won't be expecting.

What?

I don't know how to throw a slider.

You kind of hold it off center...

middle finger on the seam.

Then you throw it like a pass ball.

Come on, giddy up!

- We don't have all day. - Coming! Coming!

I think you should tell me what's going on.

It's not part of the plan.

I'm sick of this! What do you think you're doing?

Say something to me. I have had years of this. Years!

Now I'm going to town tonight. That's what's happening.

What's the problem?

Yelling is extremely destructive to a relationship.

You think you're communicating at the time but...

the effect is completely the opposite.

No more talk! We have nothing left to say.

Are you listening to what I'm saying?

Yes.

We will never yell at each other.

Hey, don't make promises you're not prepared to keep.

- I'm supposed to try it, you know. - It goes without saying.

But I just said it anyways.

The Hardy Boys. Now there's some heavy reading.

I like the Hardy Boys.

Come on, let's get some sleep.

Got a big day tomorrow.

What's happening tomorrow?

We're getting married.

Cas...

Yeah.

Are we really getting married tomorrow?

I mean, actually?

Yes.

It's a major part of the plan.

OK, now. As I understand it...

you two want to spend the rest of your lives together...

as husband and wife.

I think we should've done this days ago...

but you know men when you rush them.

So...

- do you, Ben... - Benjamin Reynolds.

Benjamin Reynolds take this young woman...

Cassie Kennington.

Do both of you promise to...

treat each other with dignity and love till...

one of you drops dead?

I do.

I do.

Then...

Well, I suspect you're both married now.

I suspect you're right.

Oh, the ring.

Congratulations to you both.

Well, I feel good about this whole thing.

How about you?

Yeah, I feel good about it.

Well, I don't have a lot to compare to, but...

yeah, I feel good.

Oh, if you want to kiss the bride...

you can do that now. I guess I forgot to say it.

I haven't kissed anybody before.

Don't worry, I'm not ready to have sex yet.

Nice looking at that slider.

I still have to practice.

Missus not here?

She's in town at the library.

She figures I ought to learn how to write so...

I have something to do when my baseball career is over.

Sounds good to me.

Sorry, there's not much padding in my glove.

- You 12 years old? - I'll be 13 in a few months.

Well...

I got to leave today and...

I don't know when I'll be back. But the wife...

it's fine with her if you two stay here as long as you need.

Why isn't your wife going with you?

Well, she...

I'm not a good person, I don't think.

I've lived a clumsy...

selfish life.

You seem like an OK guy to me.

Here you are.

Show me...

that slider like you did yesterday.

- Can I ask you something? - Sure.

Did you start out thinking you were good...

my age, I mean?

I like to think I did.

To be honest, I don't really know.

I like that pitch.

What's wrong?

I just don't understand grown-ups sometimes.

If that's the lesson to learn, I think he hates himself.

Come on, let's pack up and keep moving.

- You two headed somewhere? - Baltimore.

It's a large city in Maryland.

I got an aunt in Baltimore.

We're in that green station wagon next to the pissers.

Our dad got a bladder transplant last month.

Trust me, it's been more like a metal cook convention than a vacation.

I don't mean to be forward...

but have you have been experiencing any bladder problems yet, Sheriff?

No, I have not.

Well, you're at the age when you should think about it.

Ask our dad.

He's over there screaming into the urinal right now.

She might be right. You're not getting any younger, you know.

Well, I'd get five years out of my life if you just...

shut up five minutes.

Get your things and get in the back.

Now...

I don't know much...

but I do know I have a right to your names.

And I know we have a right to an attorney...

preferably one familiar with the laws of Arkansas concerning minors.

I'll ask you one more time.

Real slow, real nice.

What are your names?

Like I said before...

my husband and I respectfully plead the 5th.

Hey, chief, why does she keep calling that boy her husband?

I don't know, Ward, and I don't care.

Well, we actually got married last week.

Nice to meet you, by the way.

Raymond Ward.

The pleasure is mine.

Ward, do you think it's possible to get past formalities...

and try to figure out what to do here?

I warn you, put that away before you blow somebody's head off.

What?

When we get proper representation...

we'll be more than happy to give you our names.

Oh, girl. You're not under arrest.

So, there's no need for an attorney.

Fine, then we'll be leaving now.

Please sit down...

and you don't move until I tell you do.

Am I getting through to you?

Yes, sir.

That goes for the both of you.

You read me, boy?

Yes, sir.

Well, all right.

- What's going on? - She's having a seizure.

- She what? - She'll be all right...

unless she swallows her tongue, and then she could die.

How do you know she's going to swallow her tongue?

I can't tell from here.

OK, then.

Just get in there and take a look at her to see if she's swallowed it.

Come on!

Oh God, did she swallow her tongue?

She swallowed it.

Oh Jesus, ain't she swallowed her tongue!

Get over here! Come on! Come on!

OK, cradle her head with your hands.

What's that going to do, bud?

I'm going to try to pull her tongue out.

- OK? - I don't want her to die.

Listen to me!

Don't move! OK.

- Here we go. Are you ready? - I'm ready. Get her tongue out.

Ready?

Kid...

Kid!

You son of a...

Kid!

Damn it!

I wonder if those cops are still looking for us.

Or maybe when you leave the state they don't really care any more.

Not unless you're in some sort of a crime spree.

I'm pretty sure breaking out of jail once, you know...

doesn't make it into a crime spree.

Your brain is accelerating at such a high rate of speed...

that science is probably incapable of measuring it.

What?

Are you always going to have this attitude? I just want to know.

As we travel through life, we adopt many attitudes, as you call them.

That's my theory, anyway.

I think you're hiding something from me.

I am.

Well...

what?

My chastity...

which you will never have, no matter how much you plead.

Oh, yeah, like I've been pleading.

That's a laugh! It's a real big laugh.

Your fast ball doesn't have the same pop.

I'm throwing against a barn...

probably built during World War II.

Hey, darling.

Memphis, Tennessee?

Head East till you hit 63...

then go South. In about two hours you're there.

Jackie boy! I found ourselves a navigator.

- Where are you two headed? - Baltimore.

Jack boy! After Memphis, we're going to Baltimore.

What's the story?

They're taking us to Baltimore.

Could you get the bags?

Thanks.

Thrown Newman had some level...

where's the actual life?

Satisfaction will do it, but that's more awareness than living.

I never thought about it that way.

So, what made you become a writer?

I was in love with a woman.

I'd recommend both highly, but use your judgment...

when dealing with toxic pleasures of any kind.

Here you go, cowboy.

What about him? Is he a writer, too?

No, he just lives his life and everything seems to work out.

Yeah?

Sure is nice being up bright and early to take in the new day!

Yeah. That's what they say.

Where are we, anyways?

Life in Hell, Kentucky.

By the way, did I ever thank you?

Because it'd be way too comfortable for me and my body...

to be in a nice warm bus...

heading exactly where we want to be going.

We're married, you know. That's supposed to count for something.

He was a nice guy, sweet talked.

It wasn't like I kissed him or anything, geez!

You know? Whatever!

Jealousy.

It's a good trait to have in a husband...

unless of course he gets overly possessive.

Why don't you just rest your tired ass...

and let me make the calls for a little while?

Tired ass?

Where's that sweet, innocent youth I used to know?

Don't you worry about it, he's in here somewhere.

He'd better be.

Can you even imagine Mr. Teenage Maryland...

riding in our car?

Well, I'll be sworn!

And he was fourth runner for Mr. Teen America.

Mr. Teenage America!

Tell us about it, son. We got all the time in the world.

- Is Maryland your home state? - Let him tell it.

Actually my cousin's got all the stories.

Did you know that last month she walked across the state of Kentucky...

on her hands?

She doesn't look like she's in shape to the corner from what I see.

That's how she got hurt.

She was just a mile from the border...

when this cow just broke through a fence and started trampling her.

My Goodness!

- Must have been one, what's it called... - Brahman.

- Brahmans can be real mean sometimes. - Let him tell it now.

But she wouldn't stop till she got to that border...

even though her arm was fractured in seven places.

"Ripley's Believe it or Not" is coming to her house next week...

to interview her about it.

- Pull over. - Pull over?

- We still got a long way to go. - I said pull over.

I want to get in the back seat and talk with this child.

"Ripley's Believe it or Not".

Can you even imagine?

Well, I'll be sworn!

Almost there.

Yeah, couple hundred miles.

I can't tell you how pleased I am with the way things have gone so far.

What's going on with that arm, anyway?

It's all right, just a little swollen.

Jesus, Cas!

Why can't this wait until we get to Baltimore?

Because your arm is about to fall off.

The fracture's healed...

there is some severe inflammation around that cut, young lady.

Here you are, daddy.

Where exactly around here do you two live?

A few miles from town.

Our father was laid off in the paper mill so...

money is a little tight right now.

What paper mill?

You really are a good brother to have brought her here.

Well, she's the only sister I have.

And I wouldn't trade my brother for all the silver in the world.

Isn't that sweet, honey?

It is absolutely adorable.

I think that face's definitely going to break some hearts one day.

- How old do you think he is? - My brother is 12 years old...

and I'm very sorry your daughter can't find boys her own age to play with.

What's your father's name?

Virgil. That's his first name.

Yeah, Virgil Pappas.

I don't know anybody named Pappas.

You know like we said, we live quite a way from town.

Call the sheriff, Maris.

- There's just something not right here. - I'll get it, daddy.

OK, look...

here is the truth.

Our mother got arrested...

for armed robbery five days ago in Arizona.

Our father left when we were little...

and they were going to put us in different foster homes.

Oh, my!

We've been together our whole life...

so we just decided to stay with our cousins up in Vermont.

You better be telling the truth, son.

You've all just been so amazingly kind...

I could not lie if I wanted to.

Once we get to Vermont, I'll send whatever we owe.

Gratefully.

You are absolutely incredible.

I mean, seriously, it was like watching "Hamlet" or something.

Maybe you should be an actor when your baseball career is over.

I thought I was supposed to be a great writer.

Yeah, don't be an actor.

It's a way too skittish life style.

So, what can I get you little chickens this morning?

Some silver dollar pancakes or some piggies in a blanket, I bet?

Two coffees, both black.

So, I watched these people behind you walk in.

They look like real softies.

I bet we can catch a ride from them.

Cas was right about her aunt and uncle being hip.

They seemed to me at least.

Lemonade? It's delicious.

I mean, they took us in out of the blue without making a big deal out of it.

I'd say that's pretty hip.

- Cheers! - Cheers!

Anything we need to go over?

I think with children there need to be some rules.

Like what?

The only one I can think of is when they should go to bed.

Midnight?

Sounds fair to you guys?

It seems reasonable.

OK, wait, I mean, let's be realistic. What about the weekends?

Right.

You know?

Two?

Who goes to bed at two? Come on. Four.

What do you say three? Everybody OK with that?

Very generous parameters, uncle.

We won't abuse the privilege, sir.

I have a most beautiful room for you. There's a parachute on the ceiling.

It will be like you're in a palace.

Does it have a single or a double mattress?

- It has a single. - We'll need a double.

With my leg stiffening up sometimes and the two of us being married and all.

You're married?

That must be what kids call going steady these days.

Oh, no, we're actually married.

Yeah, look.

Was it a large wedding?

Well, about 20 or 30 head of...

mostly hogs and some sows.

Oh, and pigs.

Yes, there were several pigs in attendance as well.

Well, I guess we'll get you a double mattress, then.

Well...

Look who's up.

We've recently started getting up early.

It's a sign of discipline, I think.

You may be right.

Oh, and tell your wife thanks for the coffee.

It's very good.

- I'll be sure to tell her. - Oh, and uncle...

is it all right if we paint a strike zone on the side of the building?

We'll pay for the paint.

You mean, like a baseball strike zone?

Yes, my husband's going to be a Major League pitcher.

Well, I don't see a problem with that.

Terrific! Well, have a wonderful day.

You, too.

Both of you.

- Don't be nervous. - This is fun!

Okay. Is that all right?

You do wait to hear if they can handle it.

I'm nervous.

Well, no more waiting. I think I'm ready.

OK, the show is about to start, sir...

and your cooperation is appreciated.

Please remain in your seat or I may have to call security.

What are you guys up to, anyways?

A pal direct from Paris...

where she has been showing for the kings and queens...

and the very special society's elite people...

and the fashion world, bright as a new star.

Thank you.

I'm so glad you had this dress on and not the green shawl.

Remember how the glare had us hypnotized?

I know, I remember. I kept staring at it.

The dream's glare...

At first, I couldn't really tell...

but Cassie was starting to slip away inside herself.

Thanks, man.

Come on, Satchmo.

- I can't do that. - You played like hell the last time.

I thought Armstrong himself was in the room.

Yeah, I got goosebumps. Do it again.

Come on, give it a try.

All right.

Take your time.

When I look back, it feels like my fault.

Not that I could've figured out why she was sad...

but not being able to see just how incredibly sad she really was.

The problem was...

I didn't know what to do about it.

Strike 3!

Good job!

It's like she had this grip on me...

but was also pushing away as hard as she could.

I can't find any frogs.

I told you there weren't going to be any here.

It's funny?

That's funny.

Nice to see you got some sense of humor left.

How about a towel?

There's a Summer League in Maine...

where all the Major League's touts go to.

We're heading North at the end of the week.

If you don't sign in this year...

we'll enrol you in school up there and get you signed next summer.

Cas, I'll be 13 next summer.

Nobody signs 13-year-old kids.

Sometimes your negativity just absolutely exhausts me.

What if I like it here and don't want to leave?

Going to Maine is the plan. You want to screw it up?

Go throw yourself a party.

How about the towel?

OK, what is the first name of Ernest Hemingway's wife...

the last one, when he blew his brains all over the place?

Duke.

Mary.

OK.

Who is the right fielder for the Cleveland Indians 1959?

Sir Douglas big stick or something.

Rocky Colavito.

Yes, my lord.

You've almost completely changed since we got here.

I need to know what's going on.

The real question is why you're putting it in such a negative context.

Yes, I am withdrawing somewhat, but is that a sin?

Great.

Take a major problem, even though you won't tell me what it is...

and turn it into one of your brainy discussions.

Oh, is that your opinion?

You did finish 7th grade, so I want to give it the way it deserves.

And you graduated from Harvard, all right?

OK, cowboy, you want to play?

I'm not exactly sure about what we're playing here, but...

yeah, let's go.

It's all about introspection...

a concept you're no doubt incapable of digesting at this point...

in your narrow-minded, sheltered, pathetic life.

Go screw yourself!

Ben...

What?

You mad at me?

Yeah.

And I don't like it.

Then, start talking to me like a real person.

I told you I was flawed when we met.

Cas...

Everybody's flawed. Just in different ways.

I'm so sorry.

It's OK.

Talk to me.

Please.

Oh, yeah!

Ben, come on.

You look good together.

Hey, Cassie, honey. Won't you come fun?

Come here!

Come on, Cassie.

Let's show them how to do it.

Come on, shake you tail.

Good.

After a while, Cassie calmed down...

and went to sleep.

I guess I hoped that when she woke up...

things would be OK.

But I was wrong.

Time to go, honey.

Come on!

So, Cassie became a patient...

in a children's psychiatric ward in Virginia.

Ready, front!

And I ended up that summer in a bullshit Military Academy...

down in North Carolina.

Cassie's aunt and uncle figured they had to do something with me...

but listening to Louis Armstrong...

and sending a boy to a Military Academy...

doesn't really chime, when you think about it.

Reynolds, you're messed. Tuck your shirt in!

Fix your hat!

Don't look at me, look forward!

Present arms!

The only reason I stuck around...

was to see if Cassie would get better or not.

But she didn't.

She'd gone over this edge...

and nobody knew how to get her back.

Maybe she will.

Then, the state made it official.

Cassie would be put in a high-risk observation...

ward for a period no less than 18 months.

18 months.

Unbelievable.

Reynolds, I told you to grab some polish!

Put that book down.

I told you!

I know what to do or where to go.

I thought about back home.

Maybe my folks had half the police in Texas looking for me.

But what did it all mean, really?

They were living their lives, and I, trying to figure out my own.

The truth is, we never had much in common, anyway.

Hot chocolate?

Hot coffee.

Thanks.

You're a good kid.

You should see mine, too. Both boys.

A little bit older than you, but not much.

Every day I look for even the slightest sign of humanity in them.

Not a drop.

Where are you headed in Richmond?

Children's psychiatric ward.

I'm going there to get somebody out.

Do the people running the hospital know that you're coming?

No.

So you are...

going to illegally take someone out of the psychiatric ward?

Yes, sir.

Who are you bringing out?

My wife.

Your wife?

Look, son...

if you're the one who's staying in the hospital, it's OK to tell me.

No, I'm married...

and I'll go get my wife out and take her with me.

Any kids?

No, but planning on having two eventually.

I'll make it easy on both of you, take mine.

- Same ol'. - Good night.

Hey.

Hey.

Cas...

Yeah.

It's time to go.

Is that the plan?

Yeah.

That's the plan.

What if I'm really, really tired?

Let go! Let go! That's it!

You took it for as long as you could, Cas.

You can't blame yourself for that.

There were good parts to him, too.

Cas...

Yeah.

Let's go.

Ben, I'm sick.

When you kill two people, it makes you sick.

Look, I'm going to take you out of here and...

worry about everything later. OK?

OK.

Before Cas and I started the rest of our lives together...

there were a couple of things I needed to do first.

Sometimes it's hard knowing if you should or shouldn't do something.

So, you do what feels right at the time.

My theater!

My boat!

My boat...

Who knows anything, when it comes down to it?

I don't.

I pretend I do sometimes, but I don't.

But I do know this.

When your life becomes what you dreamed it would be...

it's amazing.

I think that walk sealed D.Q.'s fate here in game five.

I didn't break Nuxhall's record of playing at 15...

but I did become the youngest guy that ever pitched in a World Series.

Benjamin Reynolds.

But nothing I did on the field...

compared to what Cassie and I accomplished together.

It's kind of a miracle really...

having the chance to give what you never got.

Cas took a job editing children's books...

and I pitched until my arm couldn't take it any more.

And, like she planned...

I became a writer.

A lot of what Cassie said turned out to be true.

Most people do need a plan.

Life is crazy enough without one.

But the hardest part of life...

is losing someone you love.

At first, you almost wish you never knew them...

so you stop hurting so much.

Feels like it's going to kill you.

What you end up missing the most...

is the sweet burden of being needed.

It gives your life a purpose.

It really does.

And it makes you feel great.

That's something else Cassie told me.

It is all a part of the plan.