Original subtitles

(low audience chatter)

(audience chattering, laughing)

-(tapping microphone) -(audience quiets)

NARRATOR: Ladies and gentlemen,

we now ask for your complete attention.

If you want to sing, laugh, clap,

cry, yawn, boo or fart,

please, do it in your head,

only in your head.

(microphone feedback)

You are now kindly requested to keep silent

and to hold your breath until the very end of the show.

Breathing will not be tolerated during the show.

So, please take a deep, last breath right now.

(audience inhales deeply)

Thank you.

(record player hissing)

Underneath the moonlight

My good friend Pierrot

(static crackles)

(static crackling)

(lighter clicking)

(electrical buzzing)

(amp humming)

(plays rock riff)

(drums play)

(saxophone and drums warming up)

(chords warbling)

-(guitars strumming) -(woman vocalizing)

WOMAN: Ah, ah.

♪ ♪

Nastya, it’s going to start.

(female chorus warming up)

(guitars playing random chords)

So...

may we start?

RUSSELL: So may we start?

RON: High time to start

(cymbal roll plays)

One, two, three, four!

(piano plays upbeat rhythm)

(tambourine joins in)

So may we start?

-So may we start? -So may we start?

It’s time to start

-High time to start -High time to start

They hope that it goes the way

-It’s supposed to go -It’s supposed to go

There’s fear in them all but they can’t let it show

They’re underprepared but that may be enough

The budget is large but still it’s not enough

So may we start?

May we start, may we, may we now start?

So may we start?

May we start, may we, may we now start?

It’s time to start

May we start, may we, may we now start?

High time to start

May we start, may we, may we now start?

We’ve fashioned a world, a world

Built just for you

A tail of songs and fury

-With no taboo -With no taboo

We’ll sing and die for you

-Yes, in minor keys -Yes, in minor keys

And if you want us to kill, too

-We may agree -We may agree

So may we start?

May we start, may we, may we now start?

So may we start?

May we start, may we, may we now start?

It’s time to start

May we start, may we, may we now start?

High time to start

May we start, may we, may we now start?

So close all the doors and let’s begin the show

The exits are clearly marked

Thought you should know

The authors are here so let’s not show disdain

The authors are here

And they’re a little vain

A little vain

Now...

The music resounds and all the flames are lit

So, ladies and gents, please shut up and sit

The curtain of our eyelids

Lazily rise

But where’s the stage, you wonder

Is it

Outside

Or is it within?

-Outside? Within? -Outside? Within?

Outside? Within?

So may we start?

May we start, may we, may we now start?

So may we start?

May we start, may we, may we now start?

It’s time to start

May we start, may we, may we now start?

High time to start

May we start, may we, may we now start?

-So may we start? -(saxophone joins in)

May we start, may we, may we now start?

So may we start?

May we start, may we, may we now start?

-It’s time to start -May we start

-May we, may we now start? -(siren whoops)

-High time to start -May we start

-May we, may we now start? -(siren whoops)

OFFICER (over speaker): Don’t try to start.

-May we now start -OFFICER: Don’t try to start.

-May we now start -May we now start

-(saxophone playing) -May we now start

-Bye, Henry. -Bye, Henry.

-(motorcycle engine starting) -May we now start

Bye, Henry.

Good luck!

(car engine starting)

BOY: Bye-bye. Bye.

-RUSSELL: Bye, Ann. -RON: Bye, Ann.

Bon voyage.

-RUSSELL: Bon voyage. -WOMAN: Bye.

-Bye-bye. -Bye.

(horn honking)

Bye-bye.

(car engine humming)

(gentle, intriguing music begins)

RUSSELL and CHORUS BOYS: True love always finds

Always finds

-A way -A way

-Afraid -But true love often goes

-Afraid -Astray

Astray

♪ ♪

True love always finds

Always finds

-A way -A way

But true love often goes

Often goes

Astray, astray

(chorus vocalizing)

(Ann vocalizing)

(low, audience chatter)

(grunting rhythmically)

(audience shouting, whistling)

(audience clapping rhythmically)

MAN: Come on! Come on, Henry!

AUDIENCE (chanting): Henry! Henry! Henry!

-WOMAN: Henry, I love you! -Henry! Henry!

(dramatic music plays)

(audience laughing)

Yes, laugh, laugh, laugh.

(man talking low in distance)

(gentle music begins)

(breathes deeply)

One, two, three, four, five,

six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

One, two, three, four, five,

Six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

-Ladies and gentlemen, -(upbeat music plays)

are you ready?

-AUDIENCE: Yeah! -No.

No one is ever ready for

a mildly offensive evening with...

The Ape of God.

(whistling, cheering)

Here for his triumphant new show,

the world infamous Henry McHenry!

(audience cheering loudly)

♪ ♪

(audience continues cheering loudly)

(applause, cheering, whistling)

-(Henry coughing) -(cheering)

(whistling)

WOMAN: Love you, Henry!

(Henry coughing)

(audience quiets)

(audience laughter)

(coughing)

-(coughing continues) -(scattered laughter)

-(hawking loudly) -(audience groans)

Oh, this smoke shit.

(scattered laughter)

(slurping liquid through teeth)

(laughter)

What is this fucking smoke supposed to mean anyway?

I think I’m getting allergic to it.

Wish they’d use laughing gas instead.

(scattered laughter)

Would make my life easier.

Or even better,

cyanide gas.

(laughter)

So... I’m here to make you laugh tonight.

(audience whooping, applauds)

Yes, laugh, laugh, laugh.

(scattered laughter)

I’m not sure I can do it tonight.

(audience aahing)

Not sure I should even try.

(audience groaning)

Making people laugh is a disgusting...

(laughter)

...deceitful trick anyway.

Yes. Why should I activate

Your ventromedial prefrontal cortex

So your 15 facial muscles will contract

So your fucking zygomatic muscle will react

While your epiglottis half-closes your larynx

Clap

(applause, cheering loudly)

Yes, why the fuck should I?

Why should I make you...

HENRY and CHORUS GIRLS: Laugh, laugh, laugh

But don’t make me, don’t make me, don’t make me

Can’t stand to hear you

Laugh, laugh, laugh

’Cause you bore me, you bore me, you bore me

I’ll still make you

Gasp, gasp, gasp

But don’t worry, don’t worry, don’t worry

You probably will not

Choke, choke, choke

Kick the bucket, kick the bucket, kick the bucket

-Kick the bucket -(raspy choking)

(cheering and whistling)

(audience quiets)

(exhales) Huh.

(scattered chuckles)

Well, of course,

I’ve heard the rumors, too.

They say my show kills.

(laughter)

But relax, see my contract?

Save your breath.

Says so here:

(nasally): "Mr. Henry McHenry is not allowed

to make the public laugh to death."

-(raspy choking) -(laughter)

Can’t make your alveoli pop tonight.

No dislocated jaws, no belly explosions.

-However, asthmatics, -(upbeat music plays)

keep your inhalers in position!

-Okay? -AUDIENCE: Okay!

-Ready? -AUDIENCE: Ready!

Laugh.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha

Ha-ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha

Ha-ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha

Okay, shut up.

(orchestra plays dramatic music)

(music transitions to gentle melody)

♪ ♪

-(laughter) -Yes.

Why did I become a comedian?

(echoing): Why did I become a comedian?

To entertain some balding men?

To bring a touch of levity to tragic times?

-Not me. -(laughter)

To bring some joy to those who have none?

To cast a skeptical eye toward common knowledge?

-Uh-uh. -(echoing): Why did I become a comedian?

To make you notice what you’ve always surely noticed,

never noticing you noticed until I ask you:

-"Have you ever noticed?" -Why did I become a comedian?

-Sure, but not only that. -Why did I become a comedian?

To convey with a smile

these deep-seated feelings of hatred and humiliation

we all seem to be sharing?

-When... -(upbeat music plays)

All the Catholics hate the Muslims

And the Muslims hate the Catholics

And the Tutsis hate the Hutus

And... everybody hates the Jews

(laughter and applause)

-MAN: So, why, Henry? -WOMAN: Yes, why, Henry?

Why?

AUDIENCE: Yes, why did you become a comedian?

-For the money? -For the money?

Oh, no, no.

No, I’ve come from poverty and severity

and now have reached big money and obscenity.

So why did you become a comedian?

-For the fame? -For the fame?

-Oh, no, no. -(audience gasps)

Though fame is like a flame,

glorious,

superfluous.

So nice being famous for being infamous.

Okay, but why did you become a comedian?

-Fear of death? -Fear of death?

Oh, no, no.

’Cause you see, I have sympathy for the abyss.

(murmuring): What did he say? What is "abyss"?

A-B-Y-S-S!

You illiterates.

(scattered chuckling)

That’s why I must never...

never cast my eyes towards the abyss.

♪ ♪

Lady, that’s quite an abyss you’ve got.

-(high-pitch tittering) -(audience laughing)

So why, why did you become a comedian?

For the women?

Oh, no, well...

Okay, let me explain.

(piano plays gentle melody)

You see...

my serial pussy days are over.

(scattered chuckling)

Because, well...

I’ve, I’ve just met someone.

(audience whoops)

Someone so...

It all went so fast.

I just moved into her tiny hidden palace,

’cause, yes, she’s a queen.

And now,

I’m engaged.

(audience whooping, applauds)

I know, I know.

Marrying a girl when you’re as young and green as me,

it’s like... swimming the Atlantic

with a concrete block tied to your left testicle.

(laughter)

Well, yes, now, I’m engaged.

Copped out in my early age.

So who, you ask, would marry me?

Who would be the least likely?

No, this ain’t a joke so far:

-Yes, Ann Defrasnoux, -WOMAN: Oh, no!

-the opera star. -(laughter)

What?

What’s wrong, lady?

Ann and me, you disagree?

What is it, blasphemy?

Why, is she too...

perfect?

AUDIENCE: Yes, yes, yes

And I, some loathsome insect?

Yes, yes, yes

Okay, I’ll accept that.

(scattered laughter)

(laughter fades)

(gentle melody plays)

HENRY (voice-over): First time I fell in love...

...woke up next to the girl...

...rushed out to buy myself

the biggest motorbike I could find

and escaped

fast and far.

(singing aria)

HENRY: But Ann the soprano has changed me.

(singing aria)

I have changed.

How?

I’m still not sure.

Time will tell.

What I see in her

is obvious.

What she sees in me,

hmm...

it’s a little more puzzling.

♪ ♪

HENRY: Wish that she could be here now

But she’s at the opera tonight

Opera, where everything is sacred

Amen!

First she dies and dies and dies

And then she bows and bows and bows

She’ll be bowing now till dawn

Ann, dear, I love you so

But all that bowing’s got to go

Take a last bow, enough

Make it seem more off the cuff

(scattered laughter, applause)

WOMAN: But, Henry, you didn’t answer:

why?

AUDIENCE: Yes, why did you become a comedian?

So, why did you become a comedian?

Yes, why did you become a comedian?

Hey, Henry?!

Why?

I’ll tell you why.

To disarm people.

(quietly): Make them laugh.

It’s the only way I know to tell the truth

without getting killed.

Anyway, every fuckin’...

-(automatic gunfire) -(audience screaming)

-(gunfire, screaming continue) -(man laughing loudly)

(gunfire stops)

-(man continues laughing) -(scattered screams)

(audience exclaims)

-MAN: Oh, shit. -(audience murmuring)

WOMAN: Henry, you bastard!

-(murmuring continues) -(man chuckles)

HENRY: Ooh.

MAN: Fuck you, Henry!

See, I, too, can die.

(scattered chuckles)

And then...

bow.

(cheering loudly)

Okay, well, that’s it for tonight.

AUDIENCE: Oh, no, no, no!

Oh, yes, yes, ’cause I’m sick and tired of making you...

Laugh, laugh, laugh

But don’t leave me, don’t leave me, don’t leave me

Can’t bear to hear you

Laugh, laugh, laugh

’Cause you bore me, you bore me, you bore me

But I need to hear you

Clap, clap, clap

Yes, I’m cocky, I’m cocky, I’m cocky

Want each one of you to

Clap, clap, clap

Like a loony, like a loony, like a loony, like a loony

We promised that you’d laugh

We promised that you’d laugh

We promised that you’d laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh

Laugh, laugh, laugh

’Cause he’s Henry, he’s Henry, The Henry

He didn’t make you choke, choke, choke

Or kick the bucket, kick the bucket, kick the bucket

-(audience cheering loudly) -He needs to hear you

Clap, clap, clap

(cheering, whistling)

’Cause he’s Henry, he’s Henry, The Henry

Wants each of you to clap, clap, clap

So let’s hear it, let’s hear it

Let’s hear it, let’s hear it!

(song ends)

(applause and cheering)

(audience cheering, shouting "Bravo!")

WOMAN: Ann, we love you!

(people clamoring nearby)

(clamoring continues)

-Ann, please, look this way. -Ann, please.

Give us a smile! Over this way! Over this way!

-Ann, you’re looking great! -Thank you!

(clamoring continues)

(clamoring quiets)

(camera shutters clicking)

(crowd exclaims)

How did the show go?

I killed them...

destroyed them...

murdered them.

Good boy.

And your gig?

I...

I saved them. (laughs softly)

Well, you die so magnificently.

Honey, you’re always dying.

MAN: Ann, Henry, how about a smile?

-Over here! -How ’bout a smile, Ann?

-Give us a smile, Ann! -How ’bout a smile, please!

Give us a smile, please!

Henry, please

In the frame, in the frame

-Henry -(shutters click rhythmically)

Helmet off, Henry

In the frame, Henry

Helmet off, Henry

-How ’bout a smile, please -How ’bout a smile, please

-Give us a smile, please -Give us a smile, please

Henry. your helmet

-How ’bout a smile, please -Take off your helmet!

Give us a smile, please.

(birds chirping)

♪ ♪

(lighter clicking)

(birds continue chirping)

(dramatic intro plays)

♪ ♪

We love each other so much

We love each other so much

We’re scoffing at logic

This wasn’t the plan

We love each other so much

We love each other so much

We love each other so much

Counterintuitive, baby

And yet we remain

We love each other so much

Counterintuitive, baby

And yet we remain

We love each other so much

(driving rock beat plays)

We love each other so much

We love each other so much

So hard to explain it

So hard to explain

We love each other so much.

(song ends)

(turns off engine)

(coyotes barking in distance)

(distant thunder rumbling)

(gentle melody plays)

(frogs croaking)

♪ ♪

We love each other so much

BOTH: We love each other

So much

(Ann gasps)

Speak soft when you say it

Speak soft when you say

We love each other so much

Speak soft when you say it

Speak soft when you say

We love each other so much

-So much, so much -So much, so much

-So much -So much

-So much, so much -So much, so much

-So much, so much, so much -So much, so much, so much.

(song ends)

(crickets chirping)

Tickling time.

ANN: Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

(laughs) Henry.

(breathlessly): No, no, no.

Henry, please, not my feet.

Not my feet! Ah!

(laughing)

(continues laughing)

Stop it!

(laughing)

(continues laughing)

(laughing)

-(Ann grunts) -(Henry growls)

(Ann gasping)

(both grunting)

(chuckling softly)

(Ann laughs)

(musical chiming)

-CHORUS: Tied the knot -Connie O’Connor here

-Tied the knot... -for "Show Bizz News,"

bringing you the latest

on Ann and Henry’s whirlwind romance.

The two stars, both at the pinnacle of their careers,

have officially tied the knot.

Tied the knot.

(instruments warming up)

♪ ♪

(piano plays melody)

(instrument warm up continues)

I’m an accompanist, I’m an accompanist.

I’m an accompanist for Ann, for Ann.

Ann’s the one with the genius, the grace.

I’m the one with the technical expertise.

Ah, the tease, ah, the tease

of being so near, so far

from the star...

from the stars.

But someday I’ll join them ’cause

I’m a conductor, I’m a conductor,

I’m a conductor, conductor at heart.

It’s a temp job I’m doing.

This should only be seen as a means to an end.

In the end, in the end

-I’ll lead orchestras, -(audience applauds)

near and far.

Every bar, every bar

will bear my own signature,

but I’m an accompanist for the present

for Ann.

That’s what I do.

I’m an accompanist.

For the present.

For Ann.

But now, let’s listen to her sing.

(gentle orchestral music plays)

(rhythmic whooshing)

(dramatic music plays, cymbals crash)

(orchestra quiets)

(gentle melody playing)

ANN: There’s a chill in the air

On this night

Where is the moon

Where is the starlight?

Bearings lost, we’re adrift

On this night

Where is the moon

Where is the starlight

Tonight?

Afraid, don’t know why

Where is the moonlight?

Afraid, don’t know why

Where is the starlight?

Afraid, ’fraid of you

-Something about the look -(rumbling)

In your eyes

Hurry, dawn

I need help, I need light

Cut short the night

I am in danger

Though I thought that I knew him

I’m wrong

I don’t know him

He is a stranger

Tonight

Afraid, don’t know why

Where is the moonlight?

Afraid, don’t know why

Where is the starlight?

Afraid, ’fraid of you

Something about the look

In your eyes

♪ ♪

(motorcycle engine revving)

♪ ♪

-Hi. -Hi.

♪ ♪

ANN: I am love

A fickle thing, a finite thing

I am love

Do not approach me

(Ann screams)

♪ ♪

I was love

A gruesome thing, a gruesome thing

I was love

And now I’m dying

Dying, dying, dying, dying

Dy... ing

♪ ♪

(song ends)

(applause)

(applause continues)

(applause continues)

(applause continues)

(audience cheering, shouting "Bravo!")

(applause, cheering continues)

(applause, cheering fades)

(musical chiming)

CHORUS: Newborn girl

CONNIE: And, in "Show Bizz News,"

anonymous sources report that the singing and laughter

around the Defrasnoux-McHenry household

will soon be drowned out by the cries

-of a newborn girl. -(camera shutter clicking)

CHORUS: Newborn girl.

(muffled heartbeat)

(muffled heartbeat)

(snip)

(muffled heartbeat)

(audience laughter)

(laughter continues)

-(laughter stops) -(muffled heartbeat)

(gasping)

(moaning)

(shuddered breaths)

Shit.

(grunting)

NURSES: Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in

Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in

Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in

Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in

Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in

Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in

Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in

Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in

Push, Ann, push, Ann

That’s it

Push, Ann, push, Ann

That’s it

Push, Ann, push, Ann

That’s it

-That’s it -That’s it

Doctor, am I doing everything...

right?

(laughing)

NURSE: Yes, Ann, yes.

Keep on laughing, that’s great.

DOCTOR: She’s coming.

(exhales heavily)

-She’s coming! -Breathe in, breathe out

-Push, push, push, push, push, Ann -Breathe in

-Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in -That’s it

-Breathe in, breathe out -Push, push, push, push

-Breathe in -Push, Ann

-Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in -That’s it

-Breathe in, breathe out -Push, push, push, push

-Breathe in -Push, Ann

-Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in -That’s it

-That’s it -Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in

-That’s it -Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in

She’s almost there.

Shit, Ann.

She seems completely naked.

-(laughing) -NURSE: Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Laugh. Laugh, Ann, laugh.

DOCTOR: Great, Ann. Keep on laughing.

-Laugh, laugh, laugh. -Yes, Ann.

(laughing)

DOCTOR and NURSES: There she is.

(Ann gasping)

(monitor beeping rhythmically)

(baby cries)

(snip)

(baby crying)

She’s out of this world

Out of this world

Welcome to the world, Annette

She’s out of this world

Out of this world

Welcome to the world, Annette

-She’s out of this world -Out of this world

Welcome to the world, Annette

-She’s out of this world -Out of this world

Welcome to the world, Annette.

(birds chirping)

(baby chatters nearby)

(Annette grunting)

-♪ ♪ -(birds chirping)

HENRY (voice-over): This is a baby.

This is my baby.

(crickets chirping)

HENRY (voice-over): Tonight,

while she’s singing and dying,

I’m baby... sitting.

(echoing): Sitting, sitting, sitting.

-(glass shatters) -(audience laughter)

(laughter continues)

ANN: Dy... ing.

(laughter continues)

-(laughter stops) -(gentle music plays)

CHORUS: Something’s about to break

But it isn’t clear

Is it something we should cheer?

Is it something we should fear?

Something’s about to break

But it isn’t clear

Is it something we should cheer?

Is it something we should fear?

(Annette coos)

Something’s about to break

But it isn’t clear

Is it something we should cheer?

Is it something we should fear?

(music fades)

NEWSMAN (on TV): Crews faced a major battle yesterday

in Simi Valley, northwest of Los Angeles,

where flames came dangerously close

to the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library

and to nearby neighborhoods...

ANN: Oscar, I feel like sleeping now.

Please wake me up before we get there.

OSCAR: Sure.

NEWSMAN: Judy, what do you see there?

NEWSWOMAN: Well, good morning.

This fire is raging right now.

You can see the vortex of flames,

smoke and wind blowing in our direction.

Imagine what it’s like for firefighters

to approach flames like that.

NEWSMAN: Despite an all-out assault,

the flames still managed to jump the freeway,

forcing nearby neighborhoods to be evacuated.

The fire quickly consumed this barn,

where volunteers helped rescue animals...

-♪ ♪ -(newsman continues indistinctly)

(newsman continues indistinctly)

♪ ♪

CHORUS: Six women have come forward

Each with a similar story

Subjected to Henry McHenry’s abuses

Witnesses to his violence

REPORTERS: Why now?

Why now?

Each of us has come forward

All with a similar story

Subjected to his abuses

Witnesses to his violence

And his anger, his anger

Six women have come forward

Each of us have come forward

-Each with a similar story -All with a similar story

Subjected to his abuses

Witnesses to his violence

And his anger, his anger

JOURNALISTS: -But why? -Why only now?

-Why only now? -Why come forward now?

-Yes, but why only now? -Yes, why?

Why only now?

I, I fear for Ann

She must be warned

McHenry is not

Not what he seems

-So charming that I -Why?

-A woman with sense -Why come forward now?

I quickly became

A moth to a flame (sobs)

A moth to a flame

-Six women have come forward -Each of us have come forward

-Each with a similar story -All with a similar story

Subjected to his abuses

Witnesses to his violence

-And his anger, his anger -(horn honking)

His anger

-His anger -(horn honking)

His anger!

-(gasps) -NEWSMAN: The cause of this fire

has not yet been determined,

but Southern California Edison utility

did say that it started near one of their power lines

and they had not returned power at the time the fire started.

(newsman speaks indistinctly)

NEWSWOMAN: All right. Thank you very much...

(crickets chirping)

(tenor singing)

(tenor and Ann singing)

(dramatic music plays, cymbals crash)

(Ann singing)

(tenor singing)

-(dramatic music plays) -(Ann singing)

(chorus singing "Toreador Song" from "Carmen"

(Ann repeating note over sparse, minor-key harmony)

(Ann singing dramatic aria)

-(coughs, gasps) -(orchestral crescendo playing)

(coughing)

(music swells)

(music fades)

(motorcycle engine humming)

-(upbeat music plays) -(audience whistling)

ANNOUNCER: And now,

here in Vegas, for the very first time...

The Ape of God,

Mr. Henry McHenry!

(audience cheering, whistling)

♪ ♪

(coughing)

(coughing)

-(whooping) -Henry!

Whoo! Yeah!

-MAN: Henry! -(audience cheering)

HENRY: Fucking idiotic smoke.

(scattered laughter)

(banging on door)

Have you no sense of proportions?!

(scattered laughter)

(audience quiets)

Having to be funny here, it’s like...

...trying to enjoy a blow job in a gas chamber.

(laughter)

MAN: Ah, man.

MAN: That was not funny, Henry.

(audience quiets)

You’re right, not funny.

(sighs)

I’m so...

...too fucking tired.

-(metallic squeak) -(scattered chuckling)

I knew it. I should’ve cancelled the show tonight.

AUDIENCE: No, no, no!

Yes, yes, yes.

(laughter)

You see, my house was...

...broken into last night,

and, mm, bastards stole all my jokes.

(laughter)

No, the truth is...

...now that I have my own soprano

-(applause) -and baby...

...I’m not sure I have it in me anymore

to make sad people laugh.

(audience exclaims)

No, the truth is, this morning,

something happened.

I-I... No, no, I can’t say.

No, the truth is I’m sick.

Being in love makes me sick.

Sick!

Well, the true truth is...

this morning...

I, um...

I killed... (low): my wife.

-What? What was that? -(audience murmuring)

-WOMAN: Louder! -MAN: Louder, Henry!

-Can’t hear you back here. -Your mic, Henry!

I killed my wife.

(audience exclaims)

Yes, laugh, laugh, laugh.

Laugh, laugh, laugh.

So, I’ve said it:

I killed my wife.

(audience murmuring nervously)

I didn’t mean to.

God knows I didn’t mean to.

She woke up,

so beautiful.

-♪ ♪ -She looked at me and smiled.

That smile.

She is-- was-- a very shy person, you see,

and I know, I knew this shy smile

meant she wanted to fuck.

But this time, I pretended not to get it.

And I kept on pretending and so she said it,

ever so shyly:

"Please, Henry.

Fuck me, Henry."

And I could see the effort in her smile,

for her to ask that,

to say those dirty words,

to be wicked and bold, so out of character.

With that very shy smile I loved so much.

But I couldn’t answer,

I couldn’t meet her desire.

’Cause, yes, being in love makes me sick.

Sick!

I had been sleepless all night, you see,

suffocating, suffocated by love.

A wreck.

Absolutely no desire left.

WOMAN: Come on, Henry, drop it, please!

-WOMAN: Yeah. -(audience murmuring)

What? Am I letting you know more than you care to know about me?

Mm-hmm.

About her?

Sex?

Death?

Yes, no desire left.

Zero.

So I was looking for something,

anything to change the subject,

to spare us both this horrible,

dreadful moment of rejection.

That’s when the idea came to me.

I remembered how extremely ticklish she is-- was--

especially on the soles of her feet.

So I thought: I’ll tickle her,

to change the subject.

So I grabbed her legs,

locked both of her feet under my arms

and started to tickle them.

I could see in her eyes she understood it all.

(grunting)

Why I was doing what I was doing

to change the subject.

(grunting)

And it seemed impossible she would laugh this time.

She was hurt. (grunting)

And ashamed. (grunting)

And sad and confused.

(grunting)

But I persisted, I tickled gently...

(grunting)

"Stop it, Henry."

It wasn’t working.

So I tickled stronger.

(giggling)

I tickled madly.

(laughing)

I tickled wild.

(grunting)

(laughing hysterically)

(screams)

Ann?

Ann.

Ann? Ann!

(breaths loudly into microphone)

No, no, no, Ann!

(panting rhythmically)

Ann!

Ann!

(sobs) No!

(sobbing)

No, Ann!

No!

I had tickled her to death.

-(audience murmuring) -(scattered applause)

(sobbing)

(audience quiets)

I then tried to kill myself.

The same way, tickling myself.

(scattered chuckles)

(gasping sobs)

(cries)

You know, but it didn’t work.

(audience murmuring)

This is how I killed my wife.

WOMAN: Enough. I’m out.

MAN: You’re sick!

(audience chattering, grumbling)

MAN: That’s fucked up.

AUDIENCE: That was sick!

You’re sick!

Poor Ann!

Poor Annette!

(shouting, whistling)

HENRY: I sense some animosity.

Am I right, or is it me?

You must’ve bitten something bitter in your cradle!

Bitten, bitter, cradle!

So why did I become a comedian?

You’re not! You’re not!

Not anymore!

So why did I become a comedian?

Asshole! Asshole!

Sick, sick, sick!

-MAN: Asshole! -Okay.

-Go home! -Ready?

Laugh!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha

Ha-ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha

We promised that you’d laugh

We promised that you’d laugh

We promised that you’d laugh, laugh, laugh, laugh

-Laugh, laugh, laugh -(audience booing)

’Cause he’s Henry, he’s Henry...

Okay, everybody, thank you very much, but enough already.

Have a good night!

Kick the bucket, kick the bucket, kick the bucket

He needs to hear you clap, clap, clap

-(loud thud) -(audience exclaims)

’Cause he’s Henry, he’s Henry, The Henry

(singing continues indistinctly)

(upbeat rhythm plays)

You used to laugh

But now you sure ain’t laughing at me no more

You used to laugh

(rhythmic clapping)

But now you sure ain’t laughing at me no more

What’s your problem?

What’s your fucking problem?

What’s your problem?

Your fucking problem?

-Do you think I care? -Henry, Henry, we’ve had enough

Do you think I care what you all think of me now?

-Do you think I care? -Henry, Henry, we’ve had enough

Do you think I care what you wimps think of me now?

-What’s your problem? -(buzzing)

What’s your fucking problem?

-What’s your problem? -Henry, Henry, we’ve had enough

-Your fucking problem? -Henry, Henry, we’ve had enough

My dear public

Get off, get off, get off the stage

My dear public, you fucking headless beast

You’re makin’ me sick

Get off, get off, get off the stage

-You ruthless -Get off, get off

-Unpredictable beast -Get off the stage

-It’s your problem -Get off, get off

-Fuck, it’s not my problem -Get off the stage

Get off, get off, get off the stage

-It’s your problem -Get off, get off

-Get off the stage -Your fucking problem

Get off, get off, get off the stage

Get off, get off, get off the stage

Get off, get off, get off the stage

Get off, get off, get off the stage

-Well, you better laugh -Get off, get off

Get off the stage

Or I’ll get the hell right off of this stage

-If you don’t laugh -Get off, get off

Get off the stage

-You gonna feel, feel, feel -Get off, get off

-The fire of my rage -Get off the stage

We used to laugh

HENRY: Fuck off, fuck off, fuck out of here

-Fuck off, fuck off -Until we wised up

-Fuck out of here -Man, you’re sick as they come

-Fuck off, fuck off -We used to laugh

Fuck out of here

-Fuck off, fuck off -But now we see you as you are

-Fuck out of here -You are scum

-You got a problem -What’s your problem?

-A big old problem -What’s your fucking problem?

-You got a problem -You’ve got a problem

A big old problem

-A big old pro... -(audience booing)

...blem!

(booing continues)

Ha, ha!

Ha, ha! Ha, ha!

Ha, ha, ha!

Goddamn it! Fucking damn it!

Fuck!

God, fuck, damn it, fuck!

(birds chirping)

Henry, I’m worried about you.

I’m worried.

There was a girl

From the middle of nowhere

Utterly plain

A little plump

She sang alone

In her bedroom

Wild acclaim

From those four walls

But she didn’t want to be there

She didn’t want to be there

She didn’t want to be there

At all

She had the voice

Of a goddess

Strings, winds and horns

Inside her chest

Hour after hour

She would struggle

Till her voice became

Her royal realm

She wanted just to be there

Only wanted to live there

Really wanted to live there

Forever more

She headed west

The wild direction

No longer plain

No longer plump

The men were on her doorstep

Many men were on her doorstep

Her voice had brought her beauty

And set her free

But she never listened to those men

-Who came and whispered: -(toilet flushing)

"You’re a flame to me, a flame to me

A flame to me, a flame to me"

She was a queen, didn’t need a king

Who’d put her brand-new palace

In jeopardy, in jeopardy, in jeopardy

A queen should never be a moth to a flame

♪ ♪

I have a wonderful gift,

and a beautiful child.

People adore me,

and I adore this man, but...

Something’s wrong.

(Annette grunts)

Annette.

(grunting)

♪ ♪

That’s it, Annette.

Just keep right on walking

One foot then the other

(Annette grunts)

La, la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la

La, la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la

La, la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la

La, la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la

La, la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la

La, la-la-la, la-la

-La-la, la -(Annette giggling)

La, la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la

La, la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la

-La, la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la -(giggling)

La, la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la

-(giggling) -La, la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la

La, la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la

La, la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la

La, la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la

La, la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la

-(giggling) -La, la-la-la...

Whoo!

(crickets chirping)

(kisses)

(Ann chuckles softly)

(kissing)

(coyotes barking in distance)

(kissing, chuckling)

(distant barking continues)

(dramatic music plays)

HENRY: What goes up

Must come down

-My star’s in decline -(clattering)

Hah!

Once profound

For a clown

My star’s in decline.

-(Henry breathing heavily) -(song ends)

(musical chiming)

Connie O’Connor here for "Show Bizz News"

with exclusive news that Ann, Henry and Baby Annette

will be travelling on their yacht next week.

Could it be in the hope of saving the couple’s marriage?

And could the problems be due in large part

to the growing discrepancy

between their respective success?

CHORUS: Respective success, respective success

-CONNIE: We wish them the best. -We wish them the best.

(wind howling)

(thunder crashing)

CHORUS: A storm is rolling in, a storm is rolling in

A storm is rolling in, a storm is rolling in

A storm is rolling in, a storm is rolling in

A storm is rolling in, a storm is rolling in

A storm is rolling in

-A storm is rolling in -(toy rattling)

A storm is rolling in

(gentle melody plays)

I will calm the sea

Baby, don’t fear

I will stop the storm

Sleep, baby, sleep

The world revolves round you

My little innocent

Sleep a perfect sleep

I’m always here

Dream a perfect dream

-And never fear -(thunder crashing)

Thunder, rain nor lightning

My little innocent

All of the danger that I feel

I will dispel it with some magic

Alakazam, I’ll change the reel

Look at the happy family dancing

We’ll look back and laugh

That crazy night

As we walk a path

Neath city lights

The lights will shine on you

My little innocent.

-Henry! -(wood creaking)

Henry!

Henry, where are you?

(thunder crashing)

(wind howling)

Henry?

Henry?

-(gasps) -Ann.

(dramatic intro plays)

Are you drunk, Henry?

Whoa.

I’m not that drunk.

-Let’s waltz. -(thunder crashing)

But I’ll kill my voice out here.

Henry, a storm is rolling in.

I’m well aware of that, my dear.

Let’s waltz in the storm!

CHORUS: A storm is rolling in, a storm is rolling in

A storm is rolling in, a storm is rolling in

Henry, you’re drunk

-Henry, you’re drunk -A storm is rolling in

-I’m not that drunk -A storm is rolling in

-I’m not that drunk -(thunder crashing)

Hey, where’s Annette? Where did she go?

Annette’s asleep, she’s safe below

Henry, you’re not the man I know

I’m not that drunk

I’m not that drunk, I’m not that drunk

-I’m not that drunk -Henry,

you’re not the man I know.

We’ll catch our death in this rain.

Henry, stop fooling around.

We could slip, we could drown.

Whoa!

-Henry, don’t fool around -(laughing)

There’s a storm, settle down

Careful, hey! What if we fell?

-No one could survive these swells -(scoffs)

You’re quite drunk, let’s calm down

When we’re safe, you can be a clown

What has gotten into you?

-What has gotten into you? -(thunder crashing)

With this storm and this sea

I feel scared, look at me

Comfort me, hold me tight

Oh, what a terrible, terrible night

(thunder crashing)

(Ann coughing)

My voice, Henry.

Is nothing sacred to you?

Oh, God knows everything is to you.

Always trumpeting values

The sacred values

-And then dying, dying -(thunder crashing)

Dying!

And then bowing, bowing, bowing

(Ann gasping)

-♪ ♪ -(thunder crashing)

(whimpers softly)

ANN: Henry, stop it, stop it now!

We’re gonna fall, gonna die!

What has gotten into you?

Think of Annette!

(yells)

♪ ♪

Henry, help me! Pull me out!

Where are you? Help!

(fading): Henry, I’m almost out of air!

There’s so little I can do

There’s so little I can do

There’s so little I can do

There’s so little I can do

♪ ♪

There’s so little I can do

(thunder crashing)

There’s so little I can do.

(somber music plays)

(music fades)

(water splashing)

(Henry breathing heavily)

(kisses)

HENRY (quietly): We gotta go, gotta go, gotta go.

(waves lapping on shore)

♪ ♪

We washed ashore

Annette

On some island

Somewhere

Your mother’s gone, Annette

I’ll take care of you

(kissing)

Help is on the way

Annette

Someone’s heard

Our calls

In the meantime

Stars line up

They line up for you

(Henry panting)

(grunting, panting)

(waves lapping on shore)

(Annette vocalizing)

(panting)

(Annette continues vocalizing)

(continues vocalizing)

(chuckling)

-(gasping breaths) -(continues vocalizing)

Somehow I’m imagining Annette is singing.

Just as the light of the moon

lit her beautiful face.

How foolish.

(continues vocalizing)

How very foolish I can be.

(audience laughter)

Now, I can hear the...

stars laughing at me.

In the morning I’ll be...

free of all these hallucinations.

(vocalizing stops)

(waves lapping on shore)

(ominous music plays)

♪ ♪

I will haunt you, Henry

For the rest of your life

Through Annette, I’ll haunt you

Her voice will be my ghost

I am no longer love

I am now revenge

(waves lapping on shore)

(grunts quietly)

♪ ♪

I will haunt you, Henry

I’ll die day after day after day

I will haunt you, Henry

Night after night after night.

(waves lapping)

We are the police and we have got

-Some routine questions -(phone ringing)

You’re not suspected, but we have to ask some questions

It won’t take long, how ’bout some coffee with your questions?

It won’t take long, we don’t have very many questions

Not many questions

Can you describe the night and how your wife went missing?

There was a storm and I looked up and she was missing

And did you try at all to dive in and to save her?

The sea was rough, and with Annette, how could I save her?

The storm was very strong, there was no way to save her

And anyway, I had Annette, I had to save her

I had Annette.

We heard the rumors that you’re somewhat of a raver

Were there some problems between you that made you waver?

That is an insult, I loved Ann, was always faithful

How ’bout that comic piece in which you said you killed her?

Was that a prank or something more, an aspiration?

Everybody knows my acts are full of provocation

Well, that ’bout wraps it up, we sure are grateful, Henry

It now seems clear to us there is no guilty party

It was an act of God, that is our firm conclusion

It was an act of God

-And pardon the intrusion. -(song ends)

(indistinct police radio chatter)

-(sirens wailing in distance) -(people murmuring)

WOMAN: Yeah, that’s him.

Sure, I’ve sinned in all your eyes

But one thing you cannot deny is

I’m a good father, I’m a good father

I’m a good father, am I?

My Annette will ask someday

-"Where is my mother?" -GIRL: Mommy! Daddy!

I will say that

I’m a good father

I’m a good father, I’m a good father

But she’s gone

I’m a good father

Mother and father

-I’m a good father, am I? -(song ends)

♪ ♪

(Consuelo speaking Spanish faintly)

Hi, Consuelo.

How’s my Baby Annette?

Much better. No more fever.

Oh, thank you so much.

You’re welcome, Mr. McHenry.

Uh... see you tomorrow?

Yes. Have a good evening.

You, too.

CONSUELO: Bye-bye, my love.

♪ ♪

(Henry gasps)

Look at what I got for you.

(Annette grunting softly)

-What is it? -(opening package)

What is it, Annette?

(gasps)

What is that?

Look at that.

Are you excited?

(lamp playing gentle music)

Annette, isn’t it magical that...

(Annette vocalizing to music)

(music and vocalizing stop)

(gentle music resumes)

(Annette vocalizing to music)

Unbelievable

Amazing

It’s really happening

She sings

She’s a miracle

When the light shines on her

Astounding

Unbelievable

Amazing

(continues vocalizing)

It’s really happening

It’s really happening

-To me. -(song ends)

(crickets chirping)

(thunder rumbling softly in distance)

(orchestra playing classical music, chorus singing along)

It’s a fast-changing world.

And I am now the conductor of the city’s finest orchestra.

No longer the self-deprecating accompanist

from such a short while ago.

Ann would be proud of me.

I do have my suspicions, though, about why she isn’t alive.

And doubts, too,

about something else, but...

Excuse me a minute.

(music swells)

(music continues quieter)

Henry has invited me to his place tomorrow...

...to discuss a matter that he says concerns Annette and Ann.

As awkward as it is for me to attend,

anything that concerns Ann and the future of Annette

is something that concerns me.

Excuse me one more time.

(music swells)

(music continues quieter)

My love for Ann has never died.

Neither has my regret

that our affair

was only an affair.

I had been hoping for so long.

Then at a time when she was in despair, we started an affair.

But the very next week, she met Henry.

That was the end of it, the end of me.

I’ll always regret that.

I deeply miss her-- her warmth, her voice.

I miss Ann. Excuse me.

(music swells dramatically)

(music ends)

(crickets chirping)

THE CONDUCTOR: Thank you.

Hey, Henry.

Thanks for coming by

My Conductor friend

Got something to show you

That will blow your mind

Follow me upstairs

As a friend of mine

You deserve to see this

It will blow your mind

Careful with the stairs

Have no fear, my friend

I’m not gonna play

Any trick of mine

♪ ♪

-Henry, what are you do... -Shh.

(lamp playing gentle music)

(Annette vocalizing to music)

(vocalizing continues)

Can you believe it?

I just can’t believe it.

-Can you explain it? -I can’t explain it.

-Is it really happening? -I don’t know what to think.

Is it really happening?

I really don’t know what to think.

To us?

-How ’bout a drink? -I need a drink.

(music stops)

A strong drink.

HENRY: Here’s my plan, my sweet Conductor

We three travel round the world

She performs with you conducting

Backing her around the world

All the world deserves to see this

It’s our moral duty, right?

Well, what do you think, Conductor?

Am I wrong or am I right?

If you would consent

To be there for her

Your fame will grow greater

Two hundred percent

We would tour the world

Show her to the world

Millions would go wild

Cherishing the child

This is really exploitation.

-No, not really -Sure it is.

This is really exploitation.

-No, not really -Sure it is.

You know what my future looks like

From a money point of view

With the income from performance

She could have a future, too

-You’re exploiting her, Henry. -No, not really.

-You’re exploiting Annette. -No, not really!

Please make up your mind

Please make up your mind

Please, Conductor friend

We cannot waste time.

♪ ♪

(song ends)

-(crickets chirping) -(coyotes barking in distance)

♪ ♪

HENRY: I have the same dream

Every night

Every night the same dream

Adrift

On an angry sea

And in a moment of rage

And stupidity

I kill

The one I love

Ann, forgive me

Ann

I beg you

Ann

Forgive me

♪ ♪

I have the same dream

Every night

Every night the same dream

She’s here

Lying by my side

An exercise

In futility

Did I kill

The one I love?

There’s no forgiveness

Ann

I beg you

There’s no

Forgiveness...

(screaming)

♪ ♪

(door creaks)

♪ ♪

(orchestra playing dramatic music)

(dramatic music continues)

ANNOUNCER: You’ve read about her

You’ve heard about her

But nothing will have prepared you for

What you’re about to see

Nothing will have prepared you

For what you’re about to see and hear

Tonight

-(cheering, applause) -Tonight

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome

To the premiere performance of

Baby Annette

Baby Annette

I am Henry McHenry

I am Henry McHenry

♪ ♪

Cynics among you may doubt

that what you’re about to see is real.

That it is not faked in some way.

Let me assure you it is real.

Annette is a miracle.

Miracles do exist.

Without further ado

-I introduce to you -(applause)

Baby Annette

Baby Annette

♪ ♪

(dramatic music pauses)

(orchestra playing gentle music)

(vocalizing to music)

(vocalizing continues)

(audience, murmuring)

(vocalizing continues)

(music builds)

(music and vocalizing continue quieter)

(music swells)

-(cheering, applause) -(people shouting "Annette!")

(cheering, shouting continue)

GIRL: We love you, Annette!

-MAN: Exploitation! -MAN: It’s exploitation.

-(music fades) -(cheering, shouting continue)

GIRL: I love you!

-GIRL: Annette! -GIRL: We love you!

GIRL: Annette!

We love you, Annette!

(crowd chattering excitedly)

Annette and me

And The Conductor are three

We’re traveling round the world

We’re traveling round the world

We’re traveling round the world

We’re traveling round the world

We’re traveling round the world

We’re traveling round the world

(jet engine whooshing)

♪ ♪

PILOT: Ladies and gentlemen, please make sure

your seats are in the upright position.

We’ll be landing...

BOTH: Shortly

Here in Madrid

CROWD: We love Annette

Here in Paris

CROWD: We love Annette

-Here in London -(excited chatter)

We love Annette, we love Annette

We love Annette

-We love Annette -(applause, excited chatter)

We love Annette

We love Annette, we love Annette

-(Annette vocalizing) -We love Annette

We love Annette, we love Annette

(fading): We love Annette...

(vocalizing continues)

(seagull chirping)

CROWD: Bon voyage

Bon voyage

Bon voyage

Bon voyage

Bon voyage

HENRY and CROWD: Bon voyage

Bon voyage

Bon voyage

(cheering, shouting)

We’re traveling round the world

We’re traveling round the world

We’re traveling round the world

-We’re traveling round the world -(crowd cheering)

We’re traveling round the world

Bon voyage

Here in Stockholm

-We love Annette -Bon voyage

Here in Cuba

-We love Annette -Bon voyage

Here in Tokyo

-We love Annette -Bon voyage

-We love Annette, we love Annette -Bon voyage

-We love Annette -Bon voyage

We love Annette.

(song ends)

What a beautiful, beautiful night, huh?

Hey, my friend, would you look after Annette while I go out

and let off just a little bit of steam?

Sure, Henry, I’ll look after Annette.

(kisses, blows)

(piano playing gentle melody)

We love each other

So much

So hard to explain it

So hard to explain

We love each other

So much

We love each other

So much

We love each other

So much

Speak soft when you say it

Speak soft

When you say

We love each other

So much.

(song ends)

-(dance music playing) -(crowd cheering)

(chorus vocalizing)

All the girls I see

Look so great to me

What amazes me

Is what they see in me

All the girls I see

In France and Italy

Or here in Roppongi

What do they see in me?

(women screaming excitedly)

Am I handsome? No

You’re so handsome

Charming? Well, so-so

You’re so charming

I’m a foreign guy

So exotic

Rich and drunk, maybe that’s why

Hard to imagine

All these fucking men

Who hate themselves but

Want us to love them

-All the girls I see -(toilet flushes)

Look so great to me

But will I ever be

-Lovable again? -(song ends)

(night birds calling)

(coyotes howling)

(crickets chirping)

(coyotes howling, barking)

(motorcycle approaching)

(howling)

♪ ♪

(coyotes continue howling, barking in distance)

I’m feeling just a little bit drunk

I’m feeling just a little bit tipsy

Shit.

Where, you might ask, did I go?

That would be none of your business

Where’d I put my house keys?

So glad to be back at home

(door closes)

Hey, Mr. Conductor friend, good to see you

Thanks for watching Annette

How is Annette?

She’s fine.

(small piano playing)

There’s my little Annette

There’s my little Annette

How’s my little Annette?

How’s my little Annette?

(small piano playing "We Love Each Other So Much")

(Annette vocalizing to music)

♪ ♪

How does she know that song?

You had no right

You had no right to teach her that

You had no right

You had no right at all

You had no right

You had no right to teach her that

You had no right

You had no right at all

That song was our song, Ann’s and my song

That was our song, that song was our song

Ann’s song and mine

That was our song

That was our song

No!

No, Henry, I wrote that song for Ann.

What?

So I had every right to teach it to my star pupil, Annette.

HENRY: Yeah, bullshit.

You’d think you were her father

You’d think you were her father

You’d think you were her father

Maybe... I am.

I think I am.

This can’t be true, this can’t be true

Sorry, Henry.

You see, before you came along, Ann and I...

This can’t be true

Could this be true?

No one must know this or I’ll lose my daughter

No one must know this

Or I’ll lose my child

♪ ♪

Well, let’s put Annette to bed

and then go by the pool and talk it over, okay?

(song ends)

(whispers): Good night, Annette.

♪ ♪

You see, my friend...

(grunts)

Henry, don’t fool around

The water must be freezing.

You wouldn’t want me to...

drown, would you?

I don’t know.

What was I about to say?

Shall we talk

As you’d asked?

I can’t stay, can you make it fast?

Not to be impolite

But it’s been a long, long night

Hey! Henry, no!

Stop fooling around.

You’re quite drunk

Let’s both sit down

What is it you need to say?

Sit down, Henry

Oh! Watch it! Hey!

Shh!

Okay, this isn’t funny anymore.

-Not the least bit funny anymore! -Shh!

-Get your hands off me. -Shh!

Get your hands off of me.

What are you trying to do to me?

What are you trying--

What are you trying to do to me?

Stop it. Just stop it.

Just stop it, stop it, stop it.

Okay, okay. Okay, okay.

Stop it.

Oh! Stop, stop.

(grunting)

(gasping): Henry, it’s freezing

Hen... ry, I’m going down

I won’t tell a single soul

Even you can’t be this cold

(coughs)

So it was you

After all

No.

(water splashes, then calms)

No.

(gasping)

If only

I had gotten Ann

To love me more

(water splashes)

There’s so little I can do

There’s so little

-I can do -THE CONDUCTOR: If only I’d gotten Ann

-To love me more -There’s so little I can do

If only I...

There’s so little I can do

If only...

♪ ♪

(song ends)

-(night birds calling) -(crickets chirping)

Annette.

You’re awake.

(lamp crashes)

(whispering): Everything will be all right now.

I promise, Annette.

(musical chiming)

-(chorus vocalizing) -Connie O’Connor here

-for "Show Bizz News" -(cameras clicking)

with the shocking announcement that Henry McHenry

has decided to end Baby Annette’s singing career.

CHORUS: Never again...

CONNIE: Before they move to Europe,

she will give one last performance

to be announced shortly.

CHORUS: Never again...

CONNIE: The baby will never perform again after that.

CHORUS: Never again

-Never again. -(song ends)

(crowd cheering faintly in distance)

♪ ♪

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome

CHEERLEADERS: Welcome!

Welcome to the Hyperbowl halftime show

-Wow! -To the thousands who are here in attendance

-Welcome! -And the millions who are watching at home

At home!

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome

-Welcome! -(crowd cheering)

Welcome to the Hyperbowl halftime show

To the thousands who are here in attendance

Welcome!

And the millions that are watching at home

Ladies and gentlemen,

please welcome our cherished

Baby Annette.

(crowd cheering)

♪ ♪

GIRL: I love you, Annette! I love you!

ANNOUNCER: As you all know by now,

this will be her last public appearance.

So, ladies and gentlemen...

darkness.

Then a very sweet, soft light.

-(rock music begins) -(crowd cheering)

And then, for all eternity,

Baby Annette!

(rock music and cheering continue)

♪ ♪

CHORUS: Baby Annette

Baby Annette

(chorus vocalizing)

(whistling)

-(music fades) -(crowd cheering)

ANNOUNCER: This is the largest audience

that Annette has ever performed in front of,

so some nervousness is completely understandable.

Ladies and gentlemen, Baby Annette.

-(crowd cheering) -(rock music begins)

CHORUS: Baby Annette

Baby Annette

(chorus vocalizing)

(music fades)

(crowd cheering, murmuring)

(Henry chuckling)

We ask for your patience.

Baby Annette is a baby after all.

So please, once again...

Baby Annette!

(crowd cheering)

What the fuck is that little bitch doing?

(rock music begins)

CHORUS: Baby Annette

Baby Annette

(chorus vocalizing)

(music fades)

(crowd cheering)

(Annette sighs into microphone)

ANNETTE: Daddy...

Daddy killed people.

♪ ♪

RUSSELL and CHORUS: True love always finds

-True love always finds -(light thumping, echoing)

A way

But true love often goes

True love often goes

-(distorted chuckle) -Astray

(distorted laughing)

(light thumps)

♪ ♪

(distorted chatter)

-(light thumping) -(song ends)

(siren wailing)

(crowd clamoring outside)

MAN: Henry! Henry!

CROWD (chanting rhythmically): You are a murderer

-A murderer -(pounding rhythmically)

MAN: Murderer!

-CROWD: You are a murderer -♪ ♪

A murderer

He is a murderer, he is a murderer

There is no doubt at all that

-He is a murderer -MAN: Henry, you killed her!

-He is a murderer -Henry, you fucking asshole!

And he must pay the price and

-Whether it’s first-degree -Henry, I hate you!

-Or less than first-degree -Fucking asshole!

-The point is moot to us ’cause -(shouting continues)

He’s still a murderer

-And whether it’s death or jail -Goddamn murderer.

We’ll send him far, far, far away

-Murderer -WOMAN: Go to hell!

Murderer

-Murderer -(shouting continues)

He’s a murderer

You are a murderer

Murderer

-You are a murderer -Murderer

You killed the one that we all loved

Nearly religiously

Religiously

-Nearly religiously -Religiously

No more will she die for us

Who will now die for us?

Will die for us?

-Who will now die for us? -Will die for us?

No one can take her place

-But you who despises us -(shouting continues)

Despises us

-You who despises us -Despises us

We will now tame, break and destroy

-Henry! -Henry, over here!

-What you have to say? -Public has the right to know!

CROWD (chanting): Murderer!

Murderer! Murderer!

-Murderer! -(song ends)

Please... raise your right hand.

Henry McHenry,

do you solemnly swear that you will tell the truth,

the whole truth, and nothing but the truth,

so help you God?

(sneezes): Truth!

-(clerk gulps) -Yes.

The truth is...

...you remind me so much of my mother.

(gallery murmuring, chuckling)

(gavel bangs)

Mr. McHenry,

-(blows nose) -this court won’t tolerate effrontery.

-(clerk gulps) -Clerk, please.

Once again please.

Please...

Henry McHenry...

do you solemnly swear that you will tell the truth,

the whole truth, and nothing but the truth,

so help you

Go-o-o-o-o, o-o-d?

No.

You’ll kill me if I do.

(shocked murmuring)

(gavel banging)

Stepping back in time

I’d pull Ann aside

"I’m so proud of you"

"I’m so proud of you"

Stepping back in time, I’d pull Ann aside,

"I’m so happy for you

-I’m so happy for you" -(Ann vocalizing)

I’d say, "Ann, what gives me the most joy

"Is to watch you

-"I’m a small boy -(Ann vocalizing)

"Wide-eyed in my awe at your silken voice

"I admire you

-Never tire of you" -ANN: Never be tired of you

Teary-eyed, she’ll say

BOTH: "I’m ashamed to see

"That we both can’t be

Where we ought to be"

HENRY: Crying, you will say

BOTH: "It’s so sad, you see

"That we both can’t be

Who we ought to be"

HENRY: Stepping back in time, I could step aside

Not allow my rage to be magnified

To a dangerous point where a rash act

What an impact

I can’t grab back

-ANN: No, there’s no more time -There’s no more time

-What a shame -Oh, what a shame

-That we both can’t be -That we can’t be

-Where we ought to be -Where we ought to be

-No, there’s no more time -There’s no more time

-It’s so sad to see -So sad to see

-That we both can’t be -That we can’t be

-Who we ought to be -Who we ought to be

-ANN (whispers): Henry. -(gasps)

(wind blowing)

♪ ♪

Henry.

She won’t be the one keeping you company in jail.

I will.

Day after day after day

Night after night after night.

(doves cooing)

(bird squawks, wings flutter)

(bird squawking)

-(keys jingling) -(men shouting in distance)

(lock clicking)

-(Henry muttering quietly) -(distant footsteps)

-(footsteps echoing) -(Henry muttering)

(buzzer sounds in distance)

(footsteps echoing)

HENRY (low): It’s incredible.

(Henry muttering)

(Henry continues muttering)

(footsteps echoing)

(low muttering)

(footsteps stop)

(door lock clicks, door opens)

(men shouting in distance)

(door closes)

(soft footsteps)

(buzzer sounds in distance)

(buzzer sounds in distance)

(ticking)

Annette.

Annette?

You’ve changed so much, Annette.

ANNETTE: Yes.

Yes, I have.

(clock ticking)

(low, shuddering breaths)

You, too, have changed.

But at least you’re safe here, yes?

You can’t drink and you can’t smoke here, can you?

No. No, I can’t.

And you can’t kill here, can you?

(soft laugh) It was a joke.

Mm, you are my daughter after all.

No.

No more killing.

Only time.

"Killing time." Have you heard that expression?

No.

But now, you have nothing to love.

Can’t I love you?

No.

Not really.

(clock ticking)

Annette.

We don’t have long.

♪ ♪

I’ll sing these words to you

I hope that they’ll ring true

They’re not some magic chimes

To cover up my crimes

Annette, of this I’m sure

Imagination’s strong

And reason’s song

Is weak and thin

We don’t have long

(music intensifies)

I stood upon a cliff

A deep abyss below

Compelled to look, I tried

To fight it off

God knows I tried

This horrid urge to look below

But half horrified

And half relieved

I cast my eyes

Toward the abyss

The dark abyss

(music slows, distorts)

I heard a ringing in my ears

I knew my death knell’s ugly sound

-(music resumes) -The overbearing urge to gaze

Into the deep abyss, the haze

So strong the yearning for the fall

Imagination’s strong

And reason’s song

Is weak and thin

We don’t have long

I’ll never sing again

Shunning all lights at night

I’ll never sing again

Smashing every lamp I see

I’ll never sing again

Living in full darkness

I’ll never sing again

A vampire forever

Annette, no.

No, no.

Annette, Annette.

No.

I sang these words to you

Can I forgive what you have done?

I hope, that they’d ring true

And will I ever forgive Mom?

Imagination is so strong

Her deadly poison, I became

And reason’s song is never strong

Merely a child to exploit

Imagination is so strong

Forgive you both?

-And reason’s song -Forget you both?

-So faint and shrill -To take that oath?

-I stood above the deep abyss -To take that oath?

Why should I now forgive? Why should I now forget?

I can never forgive, I can never forget

Both of you were using me for your own ends

For your own ends

Not an ounce of shame

The two of you, you’re both to blame

I wish that both of you were gone

Wish you were gone

-No, don’t blame Ann -Wish you were gone

-Annette, that’s wrong -Wish you were gone

-No, don’t blame Ann -Both of you gone

But is forgiveness the sole way

This horrid urge to look below

When all has gone so far astray

God knows I tried to fight it off

-Extract the poison -Half horrified

-From one’s heart -And half relieved

-And from one’s soul -I cast my eyes

-I can’t be sure -Down the abyss

Forgive the two of you or not

-I take this oath -Sympathy for

-Forgive you both? -The dark abyss

-I take this oath -Sympathy for

-I take this oath -The dark abyss

Forgive you both?

-Or forget you both? -Don’t cast your eyes

-I must be strong -Down the abyss

-I must be strong -Annette, please don’t

(door lock clicking)

GUARD: Time’s up.

(door closes)

No contact.

And now you have nothing to love

Why can’t I love you?

Can’t I love you?

Now you have nothing to love

Can’t I love you, Annette?

No, not really, Daddy

It’s sad but it’s true

Now you having nothing to love

-Annette. -(door opens)

My Annette.

Never cast your eyes down the abyss.

HENRY: Goodbye

Annette

Goodbye

Annette

Goodbye

Annette

Goodbye

Annette.

(softly): Goodbye.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Stop watching me.

(music fades)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(music ends)

("We Love Each Other So Much" plays)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(song ends)

(coyotes barking in distance)

ANNETTE: Action!

(gentle melody plays)

ALL: It’s the end

So we bid you

Good night

Safe journey home

Watch out for strangers

If you liked what you saw

-Tell a friend -ANNETTE: Tell a friend?

If you’ve no friends

Then, tell a stranger

Tonight

WOMAN: Ladies.

Three, four, one.

WOMEN: Good night one and all

MAN: Men.

MAN and WOMAN: Three, four, one.

MEN: Good night one and all

-WOMAN: Everyone. -MAN: Come on.

Three, four.

ALL: Good night

One

And all

ANNETTE: Get ready.

(Annette laughing)

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

-Three, four. -ANNETTE: Ready?

ALL: Good night one and all

(Annette laughing)

ANNETTE: Good night one and all

WOMAN: Toutes les femmes.

Three, four.

WOMEN: Good night one and all

MAN: Tous les hommes.

Three, four.

MEN: Good night

ALL: One

And all!

♪ ♪

(indistinct chattering and laughter)

(chattering, laughter continues)

(dogs barking)

(chattering, laughter fading)