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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,660 --> 00:00:03,270 Alright, Shawn, now when Jasmine gets here 2 00:00:03,300 --> 00:00:06,100 you gotta be on your best behavior. 3 00:00:06,133 --> 00:00:07,303 (Shawn) 'Uh, don't worry about it.' 4 00:00:07,333 --> 00:00:09,003 'When Jasmine gets here' 5 00:00:09,330 --> 00:00:11,660 'I'll be my normal, gentleman self.' 6 00:00:11,100 --> 00:00:13,000 'Hey, you must really like this girl, huh?' 7 00:00:13,330 --> 00:00:16,230 Yeah, man. I think I finally found the one. 8 00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:20,176 I think she's gonna be the future ex-Mrs. Williams. 9 00:00:20,216 --> 00:00:22,226 I'll tell you, man, she's fine, kid. 10 00:00:22,266 --> 00:00:23,346 She's perfect for me. 11 00:00:23,383 --> 00:00:26,283 And she ain't got no hair on her chin. 12 00:00:26,316 --> 00:00:28,176 'Wow, that's pretty good, kid.' 13 00:00:28,216 --> 00:00:30,656 - 'You're movin' up the ladder.' - Thank you. 14 00:00:30,100 --> 00:00:31,270 'The last girl you went out with looked like' 15 00:00:31,300 --> 00:00:32,320 'fast Eddie Griffin.' 16 00:00:32,350 --> 00:00:34,160 [laughs] 17 00:00:35,266 --> 00:00:38,366 Hey, uh, Shawn, now when she gets here 18 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:41,280 I don't want you being your normal, charming, cute self. 19 00:00:41,316 --> 00:00:44,496 'Cause I don't want you trying to tempt her. 20 00:00:44,830 --> 00:00:45,180 'Come on, kid.' 21 00:00:45,216 --> 00:00:47,246 'What could I possibly do to tempt her?' 22 00:00:51,316 --> 00:00:53,496 [gasps] 23 00:00:53,830 --> 00:00:54,150 What's wrong with you, man? 24 00:00:54,183 --> 00:00:56,203 Here, put on some clothes. Be decent. 25 00:00:56,233 --> 00:00:58,183 - This ain't Chippendales. - What's wrong with you, Marlon? 26 00:00:58,216 --> 00:00:59,996 This is what I always work out in. 27 00:01:00,330 --> 00:01:02,830 Oh, come on, man. With all the baby oil on and stuff. 28 00:01:02,116 --> 00:01:03,996 Here, man, just put this on. 29 00:01:04,330 --> 00:01:06,160 Gosh, you're so fresh. 30 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:07,320 This isn't a meat market. 31 00:01:07,350 --> 00:01:09,380 What? You really think I look that good? 32 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:12,250 - I'd tap you. - Ew. 33 00:01:12,283 --> 00:01:15,223 - I mean, if I was a girl. - I'm changin'. 34 00:01:15,250 --> 00:01:17,380 [knocking on door] Uh, hey, hey, wait, it's too-too late now. 35 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:20,130 - Just-just...act gay. - What? 36 00:01:20,166 --> 00:01:23,096 - Why do I-- - Just act. 37 00:01:23,133 --> 00:01:25,333 I need a kiss, my little boo-boo boy. 38 00:01:25,366 --> 00:01:28,376 Muah! Ha ha. 39 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:31,130 I missed you, my little boo-boo bear. 40 00:01:31,166 --> 00:01:33,326 I miss, mmm.. I missed you more. 41 00:01:33,366 --> 00:01:35,116 Mmm mmm mmm. 42 00:01:35,150 --> 00:01:37,320 Well, you two are together now so you can shut up. 43 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:41,130 [theme song] 44 00:01:42,100 --> 00:01:43,300 ♪ We're brothers ♪ 45 00:01:43,333 --> 00:01:46,323 ♪ We're happy and we're singing and we're colored ♪ 46 00:01:48,166 --> 00:01:50,246 ♪ Give me a high five ♪♪ 47 00:01:50,283 --> 00:01:52,503 (male #1) 'Alright, cut and print!' 48 00:01:52,830 --> 00:01:54,500 'Beautiful, guys. Dynamite.' 49 00:01:54,350 --> 00:01:57,280 [theme music] 50 00:02:20,133 --> 00:02:22,283 [hip-hop music] 51 00:02:22,316 --> 00:02:24,376 (Jasmine) This must be your big brother. 52 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:27,280 Uh, he ain't so big. 53 00:02:27,316 --> 00:02:29,246 He just wear real tight panty-drawers. 54 00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:31,163 Ha ha ha. 55 00:02:31,500 --> 00:02:32,350 She meantolder 56 00:02:32,383 --> 00:02:34,333 - How you doin'? I'm Shawn. - I'm Jasmine. 57 00:02:34,366 --> 00:02:36,146 - Nice to meet you. - It's a pleasure to meet you. 58 00:02:36,183 --> 00:02:37,203 Nice to meet you. 59 00:02:37,233 --> 00:02:39,123 You know, I support your lifestyle 60 00:02:39,150 --> 00:02:42,660 but on behalf of women everywhere.. 61 00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:44,000 ...it is a real shame. 62 00:02:44,316 --> 00:02:45,996 What's a shame? 63 00:02:46,330 --> 00:02:47,350 - Well, that you're gay. - What? 64 00:02:47,383 --> 00:02:49,333 I ain't gay. 65 00:02:49,660 --> 00:02:51,370 Well, Marlon said you're gay. 66 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:53,170 Girl.. She-she trippin'. 67 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:54,200 I didn't say he was gay. 68 00:02:54,233 --> 00:02:56,103 I said he was going gray. 69 00:02:56,133 --> 00:02:58,663 - Look at this hair right here. - Ow! 70 00:02:58,100 --> 00:02:59,370 That hair.. It was gray! 71 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,330 I don't want you to look like that girl 72 00:03:01,660 --> 00:03:02,660 from "Josie And The Pussycats." 73 00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:04,150 Here let it go, brother. See? 74 00:03:04,183 --> 00:03:05,173 Cuz.. 75 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,100 Hey, look, she's a sweet girl 76 00:03:07,133 --> 00:03:09,103 very pretty, but she's just got a problem 77 00:03:09,133 --> 00:03:10,283 with this earwax buildup. 78 00:03:10,316 --> 00:03:11,996 I'm tellin' you, she's going deaf. 79 00:03:12,330 --> 00:03:13,100 I stuck my tongue in her ear 80 00:03:13,133 --> 00:03:15,203 it taste like a 9-volt battery. 81 00:03:15,233 --> 00:03:17,123 Wait, wait, wait. Let me clear.. 82 00:03:17,150 --> 00:03:19,170 Let me straighten this whole thing out right now. 83 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,330 I ain't gay. Aight? 84 00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:22,366 Don't let the two earrings fool you. 85 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,200 Then it really is a pleasure to meet you. 86 00:03:27,266 --> 00:03:29,096 Uh, heh.. 87 00:03:29,133 --> 00:03:32,173 Uh, uh, well, I'm-I'm about to go take a shower. 88 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:35,330 So I'm...probably gonna need my hand.. 89 00:03:35,366 --> 00:03:37,376 ...to turn the water on. 90 00:03:41,830 --> 00:03:43,270 Uh, boo-boo. 91 00:03:43,300 --> 00:03:45,330 Pumpkin. 92 00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:47,660 My little boo-boo bear. 93 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:50,230 Um, I'm sorry, did you say somethin'? 94 00:03:51,216 --> 00:03:54,146 [hip-hop music] 95 00:03:58,150 --> 00:04:00,500 - Hey, what's up, baby boy? - Yeah, what's up, man? 96 00:04:00,830 --> 00:04:01,130 - What's the deal? - Yeah. 97 00:04:01,166 --> 00:04:02,346 You know what the deal is, punk. 98 00:04:02,383 --> 00:04:04,123 What? What's wrong with you? 99 00:04:04,150 --> 00:04:05,270 Don't give' me that what, what's wrong with me. 100 00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:06,350 I seen you flirting 101 00:04:06,383 --> 00:04:08,203 with Jasmine last night. 102 00:04:08,233 --> 00:04:12,163 Saying all kinda sexy words to her. 103 00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:14,180 Marlon, all I said was I'm going to take a shower. 104 00:04:14,216 --> 00:04:17,176 Yeah, and you know immediately when you said that 105 00:04:17,216 --> 00:04:19,996 she would picture you all butt naked and soapy 106 00:04:20,330 --> 00:04:22,220 with your nipples all percolating. 107 00:04:22,250 --> 00:04:23,270 You are crazy. 108 00:04:23,300 --> 00:04:25,230 Well, that's the way I pictured you. 109 00:04:25,266 --> 00:04:26,276 You lucked out, kid. 110 00:04:26,316 --> 00:04:28,146 Come on, man, Marlon, I am your brother. 111 00:04:28,183 --> 00:04:29,133 [gibberish] 112 00:04:29,166 --> 00:04:30,216 Marlon, listen, I'm your brother 113 00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:31,380 I would never do anything to ruin 114 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:33,320 you and Jasmine's relationship. 115 00:04:33,350 --> 00:04:35,270 Give me some credit, man. 116 00:04:35,300 --> 00:04:37,300 I guess I'm bugging, man. 117 00:04:37,333 --> 00:04:39,003 I don't know what it is, kid. 118 00:04:39,330 --> 00:04:40,660 It's just when I get around Jasmine 119 00:04:40,100 --> 00:04:42,660 I just get so jealous. 120 00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:43,300 I just wanna.. 121 00:04:43,333 --> 00:04:45,383 ...tie her up and...dig a hole 122 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:48,200 and throw her in it and keep her there. 123 00:04:48,233 --> 00:04:50,373 Just like in "Silence Of The Lambs." 124 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,280 It puts lotion in the bucket. 125 00:04:57,500 --> 00:04:59,500 Uh...yeah, great. 126 00:04:59,830 --> 00:05:02,500 So, anyway, are-are we cool? Marlon? 127 00:05:02,830 --> 00:05:03,180 - Yeah. - Are we cool? 128 00:05:03,216 --> 00:05:04,316 - Oh, yeah, we're straight, kid. - Okay. 129 00:05:04,350 --> 00:05:06,150 - Aight. I'm out. - Aight, man. 130 00:05:06,183 --> 00:05:08,163 Hey, why don't you hang out and have breakfast? 131 00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:10,170 I can't, man. I got to audition for "Roots On Ice." 132 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:12,500 I'm up for the role of Kunta Kinte. 133 00:05:12,830 --> 00:05:14,270 Yeah, man. Hey, but they just turned the name to Toby. 134 00:05:14,300 --> 00:05:17,120 Now I gotta learn to skate on one foot. Psh! 135 00:05:23,133 --> 00:05:25,003 Don't beat me, miss. 136 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:30,160 Chicken George! I found you! 137 00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:32,200 I found you, Kunta Kinte. 138 00:05:32,233 --> 00:05:35,333 [hip-hop music] 139 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:39,220 - Hey, Shawn. - Hey, how you doin', Jasmine? 140 00:05:39,250 --> 00:05:41,100 Okay. Is Marlon around? 141 00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:42,283 Oh, no, you just missed him. 142 00:05:42,316 --> 00:05:44,346 He had an audition for "Roots On Ice." 143 00:05:44,383 --> 00:05:46,123 I hope he gets it. 144 00:05:46,150 --> 00:05:48,320 Oh, when is he gonna be back? 145 00:05:48,350 --> 00:05:50,330 Couple of hours. 146 00:05:50,660 --> 00:05:52,220 Oh, no. Uh.. 147 00:05:52,250 --> 00:05:53,230 What's the matter? 148 00:05:53,266 --> 00:05:54,326 I lost my keys and I can't 149 00:05:54,366 --> 00:05:56,146 get into my apartment. 150 00:05:56,183 --> 00:05:58,283 I don't know what I'm gonna do. 151 00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:00,376 Well, do you have a fire escape? 152 00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:02,150 Yeah. 153 00:06:02,183 --> 00:06:04,333 Well, I mean, I-I could climb up your fire escape 154 00:06:04,366 --> 00:06:07,216 if you don't mind me breaking in through the window. 155 00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:08,370 Oh, no. 156 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,180 I wouldn't mind you breaking in anywhere. 157 00:06:12,333 --> 00:06:15,273 [hip-hop music] 158 00:06:22,133 --> 00:06:24,133 - 'Shawn?' - Hey, what's up, Marlon? 159 00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:25,246 What are you doin', son? 160 00:06:25,283 --> 00:06:27,103 - 'What's goin' on?' - You tell me, man. 161 00:06:27,133 --> 00:06:28,323 I came by the newsstand after my audition. 162 00:06:28,350 --> 00:06:30,200 What happened? You wasn't there. 163 00:06:30,233 --> 00:06:31,323 Oh, um.. 164 00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:33,250 ...I had to meet with this, uh, lady. 165 00:06:33,283 --> 00:06:35,163 Uh, she's a distributor. 166 00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:36,120 - Oh, really? - Yeah. 167 00:06:36,150 --> 00:06:37,270 What's her name? 168 00:06:37,300 --> 00:06:40,830 Um...Ms. Pringle. 169 00:06:40,116 --> 00:06:41,246 - Oh, really? - Yeah. 170 00:06:41,283 --> 00:06:42,333 How'd it go? Was it good? 171 00:06:42,366 --> 00:06:44,996 - Oh, yeah, it was cool. - Okay. Cool. 172 00:06:45,330 --> 00:06:46,120 Oh.. 173 00:06:46,150 --> 00:06:48,100 [sniffing] 174 00:06:48,133 --> 00:06:49,323 What's that smell? 175 00:06:49,350 --> 00:06:51,320 Well, it smell like that expensive cologne 176 00:06:51,350 --> 00:06:53,320 that I bought Jasmine at the 99 Cent Store. 177 00:06:53,350 --> 00:06:55,200 - Really? - Yeah. 178 00:06:55,233 --> 00:06:57,323 Anyway, yo, man, what are you all dressed up for? 179 00:06:57,350 --> 00:07:00,150 Oh, man, I got a date with Jasmine, baby boy. 180 00:07:00,183 --> 00:07:02,233 - Really? - Yeah, man. 181 00:07:02,266 --> 00:07:04,126 I'mma take her down to Ellen's Cave. 182 00:07:04,166 --> 00:07:06,996 Marlon, Ellen's Cave is a lesbian joint. 183 00:07:07,330 --> 00:07:08,200 I know. 184 00:07:08,233 --> 00:07:10,353 [laughs] This way, no guys will hit on her. 185 00:07:10,383 --> 00:07:13,383 [laughs] But women will. 186 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:16,150 Oh, yeah. I didn't think about that. 187 00:07:17,383 --> 00:07:19,123 Hey, if you really wanna impress her 188 00:07:19,150 --> 00:07:21,160 take her to this place called the Red Coach, man. 189 00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:22,200 I'm telling you, she'll love it. 190 00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:24,123 Peace out. The Red Coach is expensive. 191 00:07:24,150 --> 00:07:27,000 I ain't got that kind of money. 192 00:07:27,330 --> 00:07:28,100 Aight, baby, I'm out. 193 00:07:28,133 --> 00:07:29,123 Aight, man. 194 00:07:29,150 --> 00:07:31,200 - Hey. - What? 195 00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:34,103 [rustling] 196 00:07:35,166 --> 00:07:36,376 Have fun, man. 197 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:39,280 A $100? 198 00:07:39,316 --> 00:07:41,146 Wow. 199 00:07:41,183 --> 00:07:42,223 Thanks, but I don't think Jasmine's 200 00:07:42,250 --> 00:07:44,830 gonna make me pay for it. 201 00:07:44,116 --> 00:07:46,326 And if she does, I hope it ain't that expensive. 202 00:07:46,366 --> 00:07:50,326 No, Marlon, that's for you. Just go have fun. 203 00:07:50,660 --> 00:07:52,330 Oh, that's real nice of you, kid. 204 00:07:52,660 --> 00:07:55,500 - You aight, Shawn. - Thanks, baby. 205 00:07:55,830 --> 00:07:56,170 - Alright. - We're brothers, man. 206 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:57,280 - Yeah. - We're supposed to share. 207 00:07:57,316 --> 00:07:59,376 Hey, what's mine is yours, right? 208 00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:04,300 [door closes] 209 00:08:04,333 --> 00:08:07,333 [instrumental music] 210 00:08:11,350 --> 00:08:13,350 No, I don't believe it. 211 00:08:13,383 --> 00:08:14,383 What's that, Dee? 212 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:16,830 A marriage proposal from your 213 00:08:16,116 --> 00:08:17,096 prison pen pal? 214 00:08:17,133 --> 00:08:19,833 [chuckles] 215 00:08:19,116 --> 00:08:20,346 Oh, my God! 216 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,130 I told you, sooner or later he's gonna get out of jail 217 00:08:23,166 --> 00:08:24,366 and see what you really looked like. 218 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,330 Telling him you're half Indian. 219 00:08:27,660 --> 00:08:30,330 Oh, shut up. It's nothing like that. 220 00:08:30,660 --> 00:08:31,500 Um.. 221 00:08:31,830 --> 00:08:33,170 Jerry Springer 222 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:36,170 is using one of my ideas 223 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:37,230 for the theme of his show 224 00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:39,146 and he is flying me and a guest 225 00:08:39,183 --> 00:08:41,183 into Chicago-o-o. 226 00:08:41,216 --> 00:08:42,276 [both cheering] 227 00:08:42,316 --> 00:08:44,326 [Dee laughing] 228 00:08:44,660 --> 00:08:46,330 [whistles] 229 00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:47,350 I was inspired by you two. 230 00:08:47,383 --> 00:08:50,173 And the name of the show is "Brotherly Love." 231 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:51,200 'And guess what?' 232 00:08:51,233 --> 00:08:53,173 I submitted your names 233 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,170 to be guests on the show. 234 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,000 Oh, no, no, no. 235 00:08:57,330 --> 00:08:58,250 Hell, hell no, Dee. 236 00:08:58,283 --> 00:09:00,253 I'm not going on no "Jerry Springer Show" 237 00:09:00,283 --> 00:09:02,333 and making a fool out of myself. 238 00:09:02,660 --> 00:09:04,830 I'll do it. 239 00:09:04,116 --> 00:09:07,146 Oh, you could, okay? I'm not. I've seen the show, okay? 240 00:09:07,183 --> 00:09:09,123 I ain't gonna have no transvestite running after me 241 00:09:09,150 --> 00:09:11,230 talking about "I hate you! I hate you!" 242 00:09:11,266 --> 00:09:14,116 Hold my earring. Hold my earring. 243 00:09:14,150 --> 00:09:18,000 Oh, come on, Shawn. I wanna go to Chicago. 244 00:09:18,330 --> 00:09:19,250 Look, me being on "The Jerry Springer Show" 245 00:09:19,283 --> 00:09:21,153 is good exposure, man. 246 00:09:21,183 --> 00:09:22,323 Oh, forget about Jerry Springer. 247 00:09:22,350 --> 00:09:24,320 I wanna meet Oprah. She's worth millions. 248 00:09:24,350 --> 00:09:27,170 Instead McCain hit it like no damn jackrabbit. 249 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:28,370 Bang! Bang! Bang! 250 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,330 - I'm hitting Oprah. - Yeah. 251 00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:33,180 Shawn, please, man, let's do this. 252 00:09:33,216 --> 00:09:35,496 Look, I can't do it without you, man. 253 00:09:35,830 --> 00:09:36,370 - It's about brothers. - Ooh. 254 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:39,830 - Please, Shawn, please. - Come on, Shawn. 255 00:09:39,116 --> 00:09:40,266 Be a good sport. 256 00:09:40,300 --> 00:09:43,500 (Dee) 'Please, Shawn, please.' 257 00:09:43,830 --> 00:09:45,100 Me and you on "Jerry Springer?" 258 00:09:47,500 --> 00:09:49,000 Ah, what the heck. 259 00:09:49,330 --> 00:09:50,130 I mean, what could go wrong? 260 00:09:50,166 --> 00:09:52,116 [laughs] Alright. 261 00:09:54,233 --> 00:09:56,163 [instrumental music] 262 00:09:58,660 --> 00:09:59,200 Lester, you and Dexter are brothers. 263 00:09:59,233 --> 00:10:01,663 Why would he be jealous of you? 264 00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:02,130 Look at me. 265 00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:04,126 It's obvious I'm the sexy one. 266 00:10:04,166 --> 00:10:05,346 [audience cheering] 267 00:10:05,383 --> 00:10:08,253 You trippin'. You trippin'. You trippin', man. 268 00:10:08,283 --> 00:10:10,333 You are totally trippin'. 269 00:10:10,366 --> 00:10:14,226 Man, why was I voted Mr. Federal Express, then, huh? 270 00:10:14,266 --> 00:10:16,996 (audience) Ooh. 271 00:10:17,330 --> 00:10:20,370 That's aight. Light-skin brothers will make a comeback. 272 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,250 [audience cheering] 273 00:10:24,366 --> 00:10:27,296 Well, tell that to Kid from Kid 'n Play. 274 00:10:27,333 --> 00:10:30,333 [laughing] 275 00:10:30,660 --> 00:10:32,270 You realize how ignorant these people look? 276 00:10:32,300 --> 00:10:33,380 You know you envy me. 277 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:36,330 I got the better car, I got the better job 278 00:10:36,366 --> 00:10:39,216 and I definitely gots the better girl. 279 00:10:39,250 --> 00:10:40,320 Bam! 280 00:10:42,300 --> 00:10:44,330 Whoa. 281 00:10:45,183 --> 00:10:47,283 Well, they say a picture is worth a thousand words 282 00:10:47,316 --> 00:10:50,116 and, uh, here are four words. 283 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,160 She is a fox. 284 00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:53,320 [audience cheering] 285 00:10:53,350 --> 00:10:56,830 Well, Jerry, here's four more. 286 00:10:56,116 --> 00:10:57,346 And a [beep] too! 287 00:10:57,383 --> 00:10:59,153 [audience cheering] 288 00:10:59,183 --> 00:11:01,183 Yes! I know! 289 00:11:01,216 --> 00:11:04,156 [audience cheering] 290 00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:08,330 (audience) Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! 291 00:11:08,660 --> 00:11:11,160 We'll be back after this commercial break. Stay with us. 292 00:11:11,500 --> 00:11:15,180 (audience) Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! 293 00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:17,226 Marlon, please, please promise me 294 00:11:17,266 --> 00:11:19,226 that you won't act ignorant on the show. 295 00:11:19,266 --> 00:11:21,826 I may. 296 00:11:21,316 --> 00:11:22,296 [laughs] 297 00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:24,103 I'll be on my best for you. 298 00:11:24,133 --> 00:11:26,223 Aight, it's time for us to show America that Bryant Gumbel 299 00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:29,270 ain't the only articulate brother on TV. 300 00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:31,180 Bryant Gumbel's black? 301 00:11:34,150 --> 00:11:36,380 Okay, let's meet Shawn and Marlon Williams. 302 00:11:38,830 --> 00:11:39,200 What's up? What's up? 303 00:11:39,233 --> 00:11:41,303 (both) Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! 304 00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:43,353 (both) Jerry! Jerry! 305 00:11:43,383 --> 00:11:45,153 - Jerry. - Hey, everybody. 306 00:11:45,183 --> 00:11:47,173 Th-those are my boys up there. Those are my boys. 307 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:49,100 - Those are my boys. My boys. - Okay. Okay. 308 00:11:49,133 --> 00:11:51,663 - Okay, we get the point. - 'Those are my boys.' 309 00:11:51,100 --> 00:11:52,350 Thank you. We get the point. Have a seat. 310 00:11:52,383 --> 00:11:55,323 Have a seat. Thank you. 311 00:11:55,350 --> 00:11:57,250 Shawn and, uh, Marlon, welcome to the show. 312 00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:59,163 - Thank you, Jerry. - What's up, Jerry? 313 00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:00,380 Jerry! Jerry! Hey, thanks for having us, man. 314 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:03,500 Hey, my favorite show was with the transvestite 315 00:12:03,830 --> 00:12:04,180 who was pregnant with that midget. 316 00:12:04,216 --> 00:12:05,316 Yo, that was my favorite. 317 00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:08,330 [audience cheering] 318 00:12:08,660 --> 00:12:10,370 You the man, Jerry. You the man! 319 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:14,380 (all) Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! 320 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:16,100 Okay. Okay. 321 00:12:16,133 --> 00:12:18,163 Uh, your friends tell us that, uh 322 00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:19,180 you two are the closest of brothers. 323 00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:20,316 That was me, Jerry. 324 00:12:20,350 --> 00:12:22,380 Dee Baxter, single black woman. 325 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,330 [audience cheering] 326 00:12:25,660 --> 00:12:27,830 Uh, thank you very much, single black woman. 327 00:12:27,116 --> 00:12:28,176 Yeah. 328 00:12:28,216 --> 00:12:30,326 Uh, so you guys are very tight? 329 00:12:30,660 --> 00:12:31,180 Tight ain't the word. 330 00:12:31,216 --> 00:12:33,196 We're tighter than Garth Brooks' jeans. 331 00:12:33,233 --> 00:12:36,003 [laughing] 332 00:12:36,330 --> 00:12:38,330 [applause] 333 00:12:38,366 --> 00:12:40,176 You know, the thing about it is, Jerry 334 00:12:40,216 --> 00:12:42,656 we, we spend so much time together 335 00:12:42,100 --> 00:12:43,270 that we know everything about each other. 336 00:12:43,300 --> 00:12:44,330 Yeah. 337 00:12:44,366 --> 00:12:46,156 Well, let's see how much you really do know. 338 00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:48,100 I'll tell you what, um, Marlon 339 00:12:48,133 --> 00:12:50,333 what is Shawn's favorite food 340 00:12:50,366 --> 00:12:53,346 car and...his biggest fear? 341 00:12:54,233 --> 00:12:55,333 Lasagna. 342 00:12:55,366 --> 00:12:58,176 A black Porsche Carrera. 343 00:12:58,216 --> 00:13:02,226 And one day he'll grow up and dress tacky just like pops. 344 00:13:02,266 --> 00:13:05,196 [all laughing] 345 00:13:05,233 --> 00:13:06,323 [applause] 346 00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:08,370 - A'ight, a'ight, a'ight. - [indistinct] 347 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:11,380 That's right, I, uh, have the answers 348 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:13,280 right here on the card. 349 00:13:13,316 --> 00:13:15,276 Okay. 350 00:13:15,316 --> 00:13:18,346 'Okay, now, Shawn, what is Marlon's favorite color' 351 00:13:18,383 --> 00:13:22,003 movie and his ultimate goal in life? 352 00:13:22,330 --> 00:13:23,830 That's easy. 353 00:13:23,116 --> 00:13:25,326 Blue, "Bout It, Bout It" 354 00:13:26,366 --> 00:13:28,376 and he has no goals. 355 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:34,830 - That's right. - 'You better stop.' 356 00:13:34,116 --> 00:13:35,226 Tha-that is right. 357 00:13:35,266 --> 00:13:37,196 Yeah, Jerry, see, we know each other's secrets. 358 00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:38,383 I mean, I would never tell him either. 359 00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:40,250 Like, I would never tell anybody 360 00:13:40,283 --> 00:13:43,123 that Shawn's nickname with the ladies is Minute Man. 361 00:13:43,150 --> 00:13:45,660 [audience laughing] 362 00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:47,200 And I would never tell anybody out there 363 00:13:47,233 --> 00:13:49,303 that Marlon's head is lopsided. 364 00:13:51,150 --> 00:13:52,120 That ain't funny. 365 00:13:52,150 --> 00:13:53,130 You know pop dropped me 366 00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:55,276 'cause he drank too much. 367 00:13:55,316 --> 00:13:58,276 [applause] 368 00:14:00,333 --> 00:14:02,373 Well, that, well, that's great, but even the closest brothers 369 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:04,100 have a few secrets. 370 00:14:04,133 --> 00:14:05,283 - Not us. - Us? Mm-mm. 371 00:14:05,316 --> 00:14:07,326 I'll tell you what, Shawn, why don't you tell us 372 00:14:07,660 --> 00:14:08,330 where you were last Tuesday? 373 00:14:08,366 --> 00:14:11,166 Oh, that's easy, Jerry. I know exactly where he was. 374 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:15,280 He was at a meeting with a distributor, right? 375 00:14:15,316 --> 00:14:18,246 Yeah, yeah, I was, I was at a meeting with a distributor. 376 00:14:18,283 --> 00:14:20,323 - He knows me. Ha ha! - My man. 377 00:14:20,350 --> 00:14:22,330 He knows me. 378 00:14:22,660 --> 00:14:23,370 And what else did you do that Tuesday? 379 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,150 Huh? 380 00:14:26,183 --> 00:14:28,233 Well, our staff did a little research and we found 381 00:14:28,266 --> 00:14:31,116 someone who may be able to jog your memory. 382 00:14:31,150 --> 00:14:34,130 Here is Marlon's girlfriend, Jasmine. 383 00:14:34,166 --> 00:14:37,496 [instrumental music] 384 00:14:37,830 --> 00:14:39,350 [audience cheering] 385 00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:46,230 [audience clapping] 386 00:14:48,830 --> 00:14:50,270 [chuckles] 387 00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:55,250 Baby, what you doing here? 388 00:14:55,283 --> 00:15:00,503 Wait, you came on here to tell me that you're really a man. 389 00:15:00,830 --> 00:15:03,000 Damn, man, this is second time it's happened, man! 390 00:15:09,350 --> 00:15:11,120 Well, we flew, uh, Jasmine out here 391 00:15:11,150 --> 00:15:13,200 to try and shed some light on Shawn's whereabouts 392 00:15:13,233 --> 00:15:14,383 last Tuesday evening. 393 00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:17,120 Why would she know where Shawn was? 394 00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:20,500 Because he was at my apartment Tuesday. 395 00:15:20,830 --> 00:15:21,270 [audience booing] 396 00:15:21,300 --> 00:15:24,170 What? You told me that you had a meeting with a distributer. 397 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:27,230 It looks like she was distributing to your brother. 398 00:15:27,266 --> 00:15:30,176 [audience cheering] 399 00:15:32,330 --> 00:15:36,300 (audience) Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! 400 00:15:36,333 --> 00:15:38,103 Hold on, hold on, hold on, Marlon 401 00:15:38,133 --> 00:15:40,133 it ain't even what you think, okay? 402 00:15:40,166 --> 00:15:42,266 Aight? I was in and out. 403 00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:44,300 [audience cheering] 404 00:15:44,333 --> 00:15:46,103 What do you mean you were in and out? 405 00:15:46,133 --> 00:15:49,133 - I was at.. - You tapped that before I did? 406 00:15:49,166 --> 00:15:50,266 [audience booing] 407 00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:53,500 Now, why did you lie about it, Shawn? 408 00:15:53,830 --> 00:15:54,330 [audience booing] 409 00:15:54,366 --> 00:15:57,246 Yeah, why did you lie about it, Shawn? 410 00:15:57,283 --> 00:15:59,203 Because I know you get jealous, Marwin. 411 00:15:59,233 --> 00:16:02,103 Oh! Come on, man. Don't give me that. 412 00:16:02,133 --> 00:16:05,163 You know I do not get jealous, alright? 413 00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:06,100 Hey, yo, Jerry, man 414 00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:08,133 I see you over here lookin' at my girl, man. 415 00:16:08,166 --> 00:16:09,366 Don't make me come out there and put my foot 416 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,000 in your behind, aight? 417 00:16:11,330 --> 00:16:12,150 [audience booing] 418 00:16:12,183 --> 00:16:17,163 I-I love your show, but I will scrap you down, brother. 419 00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:19,230 See, what I'm talking about, all that talk. You're jealous. 420 00:16:19,266 --> 00:16:21,326 Well, maybe I wouldn't be acting like this 421 00:16:21,660 --> 00:16:23,200 if you weren't trying to steal my girlfriend. 422 00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:24,353 - 'Ooh!' - What? 423 00:16:24,383 --> 00:16:28,163 How can you go after your brother's girlfriend? 424 00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:29,830 (audience) 'Yeah.' 425 00:16:29,116 --> 00:16:30,126 [audience clapping] 426 00:16:30,166 --> 00:16:32,166 'Cause he's a dog. 427 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,830 [audience cheering] 428 00:16:35,266 --> 00:16:38,166 Look, ain't nobody tryin' to steal your girl, man. 429 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:41,000 All that happened was she lost her keys to the apartment 430 00:16:41,330 --> 00:16:44,660 and I tried to help her get back in. You're crazy. 431 00:16:44,100 --> 00:16:45,380 Hey, yo, look, don't be calling me crazy, alright? 432 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:49,160 'Cause I'm not crazy! I hate when people call me crazy! 433 00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:51,330 I hate that! I hate that! I hate that! 434 00:16:51,660 --> 00:16:53,170 Son, you don't know me! Don't be calling me crazy! 435 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:55,250 Hey, yo, Jerry, tell him to stop callin' me crazy 436 00:16:55,283 --> 00:16:56,323 before I go crazy! 437 00:16:56,350 --> 00:16:58,230 (Jerry) Okay. 438 00:16:58,266 --> 00:17:01,166 Shawn, uh, please refrain from callin' him crazy. 439 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:02,250 Man, [beep]. 440 00:17:02,283 --> 00:17:04,373 [audience cheering] 441 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,500 Hell, yeah! [beep]. 442 00:17:07,830 --> 00:17:08,170 [beep] don't be cursing at me. 443 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:09,220 [beep] 444 00:17:09,250 --> 00:17:10,350 [indistinct shouting] 445 00:17:10,383 --> 00:17:12,503 [beep] 446 00:17:12,830 --> 00:17:14,000 Hey, hey, hey. 447 00:17:14,330 --> 00:17:15,130 [indistinct shouting] 448 00:17:16,333 --> 00:17:18,353 Uh, Jasmine, just, just out of curiosity 449 00:17:18,383 --> 00:17:20,383 do you find, uh, Shawn attractive? 450 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:22,220 Who wouldn't? 451 00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:23,350 I mean.. 452 00:17:25,216 --> 00:17:27,176 ...he's handsome, a good dresser, 453 00:17:27,216 --> 00:17:30,246 he's in shape, he's a gentleman, and I think that-- 454 00:17:30,283 --> 00:17:32,153 Aight [beep] we get the point. 455 00:17:32,183 --> 00:17:34,333 [audience clapping] 456 00:17:34,366 --> 00:17:37,366 If Marlon, uh, if Marlon wasn't born 457 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,120 could you see yourself dating Shawn? 458 00:17:39,150 --> 00:17:42,660 Oh, definitely. Definitely. 459 00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:44,320 That girl is nothing but trash! 460 00:17:44,350 --> 00:17:47,380 Hey! Uh-uh! [beep]. 461 00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:50,330 [audience cheering] 462 00:17:50,366 --> 00:17:52,246 - Baby, baby. - Oh, forget it. No, uh-uh! 463 00:17:52,283 --> 00:17:54,333 You need to watch who you callin' trash 464 00:17:54,660 --> 00:17:56,250 Marsha Warfield. Okay? 465 00:17:56,283 --> 00:17:58,253 Come-come on now. Come on. 466 00:17:58,283 --> 00:17:59,253 [audience cheering] 467 00:17:59,283 --> 00:18:01,333 [indistinct chattering] 468 00:18:01,660 --> 00:18:02,120 [beep] 469 00:18:02,150 --> 00:18:05,000 [indistinct shouting] 470 00:18:05,330 --> 00:18:07,230 [beep] Get off me! [beep] 471 00:18:07,266 --> 00:18:09,276 [indistinct shouting] 472 00:18:10,333 --> 00:18:12,663 Don't you be talking to Dee like that 473 00:18:12,100 --> 00:18:13,200 you little skeezer. 474 00:18:13,233 --> 00:18:16,163 [audience cheering] 475 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,350 Hey, I don't talk about your cockeyed fat white friend. 476 00:18:22,366 --> 00:18:24,996 Hey, hey, hey, you littleNegro! 477 00:18:25,330 --> 00:18:27,100 That's my mama you talking about! 478 00:18:27,133 --> 00:18:29,303 Oh. That's my mama too? 479 00:18:31,133 --> 00:18:33,833 Mama, I'm sorry. Mama, I'm sorry. 480 00:18:33,116 --> 00:18:35,096 Mama, I'm sorry. 481 00:18:36,366 --> 00:18:38,156 Well, look, I can't just be sittin' here 482 00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:39,500 disrespecting my girl. 483 00:18:39,830 --> 00:18:40,330 This is my girl, man. I love her. 484 00:18:40,366 --> 00:18:42,116 Man, you only knew her for two weeks. 485 00:18:42,150 --> 00:18:44,170 You kept porno videos out longer than that. 486 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:46,220 [audience exclaiming] 487 00:18:47,283 --> 00:18:50,333 Look, man, I don't want your girl. 488 00:18:50,660 --> 00:18:51,230 Tryin' to act all innocent. 489 00:18:51,266 --> 00:18:53,096 You know exactly what you doin'. 490 00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:56,203 Walking around the house, brushing your teeth andwashing 491 00:18:56,233 --> 00:18:58,103 usinglotion. 492 00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:00,350 Hey, don't get mad at me 493 00:19:00,383 --> 00:19:03,103 'cause I like to wash my ass, aight? 494 00:19:03,133 --> 00:19:05,223 [audience cheering] 495 00:19:05,250 --> 00:19:07,250 I don't want her. 496 00:19:09,150 --> 00:19:12,220 I don't want her, he said he's sweet. I don't want her. 497 00:19:12,250 --> 00:19:14,660 [laughing] 498 00:19:14,100 --> 00:19:15,150 Oh, you like you're too good for her. 499 00:19:15,183 --> 00:19:16,283 She ain't good enough for you? 500 00:19:16,316 --> 00:19:20,656 Oh, I guess she ain't light enough. 501 00:19:20,100 --> 00:19:23,830 Sell out brothers on the next "Jerry Springer." 502 00:19:23,116 --> 00:19:24,296 [indistinct chattering] 503 00:19:24,333 --> 00:19:27,223 You know what, color-struck brothers on this next "Jerry--" 504 00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:29,170 Crazy brothers on the next "Jerry Springer." 505 00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:30,320 - I'm out of here, man. - I told you about call-- 506 00:19:30,350 --> 00:19:32,170 You're stupid! And you're crazy! 507 00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:33,230 - I'm crazy and stupid? - Yeah. 508 00:19:33,266 --> 00:19:35,326 I told him, I told him.. 509 00:19:35,660 --> 00:19:37,250 [audience cheering] 510 00:19:40,233 --> 00:19:43,103 (audience) Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! 511 00:19:43,133 --> 00:19:46,163 (audience) Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! 512 00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:48,300 (audience) Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! 513 00:19:48,333 --> 00:19:51,103 Hold on, hold on, hold my earring! 514 00:19:51,133 --> 00:19:52,283 'Hold my earring!' 515 00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:54,196 Hold my earring. Come on. 516 00:19:54,233 --> 00:19:57,283 (audience) Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! 517 00:19:57,316 --> 00:20:00,326 (audience) Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! 518 00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:03,216 (audience) Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! 519 00:20:03,250 --> 00:20:05,280 Hit me now! Hit me now! 520 00:20:05,316 --> 00:20:07,656 Hit me now! 521 00:20:07,100 --> 00:20:08,330 Yeah. Yeah. 522 00:20:08,366 --> 00:20:11,346 [audience cheering] 523 00:20:13,383 --> 00:20:15,133 [instrumental music] 524 00:20:15,166 --> 00:20:17,346 Well, today we've seen several types of brotherly love. 525 00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:21,353 Now, some brothers express their love by strangulation. 526 00:20:21,383 --> 00:20:25,103 Others by stealing your sibling's girlfriend. 527 00:20:25,133 --> 00:20:27,183 Now, some may see these ways as wrong 528 00:20:27,216 --> 00:20:30,326 but others may say they're right. 529 00:20:30,660 --> 00:20:32,380 But one thing is for sure. 530 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:35,500 - I'm glad I'm an only child-- - Give me.. 531 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:40,660 ♪ What's that sound echo in the night ♪ 532 00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:44,500 ♪ The sound I hear when I'm holding you tight ♪ 533 00:20:44,830 --> 00:20:46,250 ♪ It's my bell baby that you rang ♪ 534 00:20:46,283 --> 00:20:50,163 ♪ 'Cause my love going bang bang bang ♪ 535 00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:53,280 ♪ When my love goes bang bang bang ♪ 536 00:20:53,316 --> 00:20:55,276 ♪ You better run for cover.. ♪♪ 537 00:20:57,300 --> 00:21:01,100 Damn, Marlon, I can't believe you attacked me on national TV. 538 00:21:03,330 --> 00:21:05,200 Told you not to call me crazy, right? 539 00:21:05,233 --> 00:21:07,333 Yeah, it's my fault. 540 00:21:07,366 --> 00:21:09,116 I'm sorry, I-I should have told you 541 00:21:09,150 --> 00:21:11,250 I was over at Jasmine's house that day. 542 00:21:11,283 --> 00:21:14,103 Yeah, and I should have believed you. 543 00:21:14,133 --> 00:21:15,203 I don't know, kid. 544 00:21:15,233 --> 00:21:17,323 It's just...I guess I'm just a little jealous 545 00:21:17,350 --> 00:21:19,000 when it comes to Jasmine. 546 00:21:19,330 --> 00:21:21,100 [chuckles] A little jealous? 547 00:21:21,133 --> 00:21:22,323 Boy, you are crazy about Jasmine. 548 00:21:22,350 --> 00:21:26,120 I-I'm sorry. I mean, you are wild about Jasmine. 549 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,250 Well, now that you've conceded 550 00:21:31,283 --> 00:21:33,353 I guess she's all mine now, huh? 551 00:21:36,166 --> 00:21:39,156 Uh, guess again. 552 00:21:39,500 --> 00:21:41,160 Look. 553 00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:43,180 I don't know what I'm gonna do, Jerry. 554 00:21:43,216 --> 00:21:46,326 I locked my keys in my dressing room. 555 00:21:50,316 --> 00:21:53,276 [hip-hop music] 556 00:22:00,233 --> 00:22:01,303 - Jerry! Jerry! - What do you wanna do? 557 00:22:01,333 --> 00:22:03,153 What do you wanna do? Hit me now! 558 00:22:03,183 --> 00:22:05,233 Hit me now! Hit me now! 559 00:22:05,266 --> 00:22:07,176 Hit me now! Hit me now! 560 00:22:07,216 --> 00:22:09,146 Come over here. Come over here. 561 00:22:09,183 --> 00:22:11,233 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 562 00:22:13,250 --> 00:22:16,250 [audience cheering] 563 00:22:21,830 --> 00:22:22,320 (audience) Jerry! Jerry! 564 00:22:22,350 --> 00:22:24,200 (audience) Jerry! Jerry! 565 00:22:24,233 --> 00:22:26,223 (Shawn) Look up, Marlon. Say cheese. 39908