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1
00:00:02,660 --> 00:00:03,270
Alright, Shawn,
now when Jasmine gets here
2
00:00:03,300 --> 00:00:06,100
you gotta be
on your best behavior.
3
00:00:06,133 --> 00:00:07,303
(Shawn)
'Uh, don't worry about it.'
4
00:00:07,333 --> 00:00:09,003
'When Jasmine gets here'
5
00:00:09,330 --> 00:00:11,660
'I'll be my normal,
gentleman self.'
6
00:00:11,100 --> 00:00:13,000
'Hey, you must really
like this girl, huh?'
7
00:00:13,330 --> 00:00:16,230
Yeah, man. I think
I finally found the one.
8
00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:20,176
I think she's gonna be
the future ex-Mrs. Williams.
9
00:00:20,216 --> 00:00:22,226
I'll tell you, man,
she's fine, kid.
10
00:00:22,266 --> 00:00:23,346
She's perfect for me.
11
00:00:23,383 --> 00:00:26,283
And she ain't got
no hair on her chin.
12
00:00:26,316 --> 00:00:28,176
'Wow, that's pretty good, kid.'
13
00:00:28,216 --> 00:00:30,656
- 'You're movin' up the
ladder.'
- Thank you.
14
00:00:30,100 --> 00:00:31,270
'The last girl
you went out with looked
like'
15
00:00:31,300 --> 00:00:32,320
'fast Eddie Griffin.'
16
00:00:32,350 --> 00:00:34,160
[laughs]
17
00:00:35,266 --> 00:00:38,366
Hey, uh, Shawn,
now when she gets here
18
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:41,280
I don't want you being your
normal, charming, cute self.
19
00:00:41,316 --> 00:00:44,496
'Cause I don't want you
trying to tempt her.
20
00:00:44,830 --> 00:00:45,180
'Come on, kid.'
21
00:00:45,216 --> 00:00:47,246
'What could I possibly do
to tempt her?'
22
00:00:51,316 --> 00:00:53,496
[gasps]
23
00:00:53,830 --> 00:00:54,150
What's wrong with you, man?
24
00:00:54,183 --> 00:00:56,203
Here, put on some
clothes.
Be decent.
25
00:00:56,233 --> 00:00:58,183
- This ain't Chippendales.
- What's wrong with you,
Marlon?
26
00:00:58,216 --> 00:00:59,996
This is what I
always work out in.
27
00:01:00,330 --> 00:01:02,830
Oh, come on, man. With all
the baby oil on and stuff.
28
00:01:02,116 --> 00:01:03,996
Here, man,
just put this
on.
29
00:01:04,330 --> 00:01:06,160
Gosh, you're so fresh.
30
00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:07,320
This isn't a meat market.
31
00:01:07,350 --> 00:01:09,380
What? You really think
I look that good?
32
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:12,250
- I'd tap you.
- Ew.
33
00:01:12,283 --> 00:01:15,223
- I mean, if I was a girl.
- I'm changin'.
34
00:01:15,250 --> 00:01:17,380
[knocking on door]
Uh, hey, hey, wait,
it's too-too late now.
35
00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:20,130
- Just-just...act gay.
- What?
36
00:01:20,166 --> 00:01:23,096
- Why do I--
- Just act.
37
00:01:23,133 --> 00:01:25,333
I need a kiss,
my little boo-boo
boy.
38
00:01:25,366 --> 00:01:28,376
Muah! Ha ha.
39
00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:31,130
I missed you,
my little boo-boo
bear.
40
00:01:31,166 --> 00:01:33,326
I miss, mmm..
I missed you more.
41
00:01:33,366 --> 00:01:35,116
Mmm mmm mmm.
42
00:01:35,150 --> 00:01:37,320
Well, you two are together now
so you can shut up.
43
00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:41,130
[theme song]
44
00:01:42,100 --> 00:01:43,300
♪ We're brothers ♪
45
00:01:43,333 --> 00:01:46,323
♪ We're happy and we're singing
and we're colored ♪
46
00:01:48,166 --> 00:01:50,246
♪ Give me a high five ♪♪
47
00:01:50,283 --> 00:01:52,503
(male 1)
'Alright, cut and print!'
48
00:01:52,830 --> 00:01:54,500
'Beautiful, guys. Dynamite.'
49
00:01:54,350 --> 00:01:57,280
[theme music]
50
00:02:20,133 --> 00:02:22,283
[hip-hop music]
51
00:02:22,316 --> 00:02:24,376
(Jasmine)
This must be your big brother.
52
00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:27,280
Uh, he ain't so big.
53
00:02:27,316 --> 00:02:29,246
He just wear real
tight
panty-drawers.
54
00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:31,163
Ha ha ha.
55
00:02:31,500 --> 00:02:32,350
She meantolder
56
00:02:32,383 --> 00:02:34,333
- How you doin'? I'm Shawn.
- I'm Jasmine.
57
00:02:34,366 --> 00:02:36,146
- Nice to meet you.
- It's a pleasure to meet
you.
58
00:02:36,183 --> 00:02:37,203
Nice to meet you.
59
00:02:37,233 --> 00:02:39,123
You know,
I support your lifestyle
60
00:02:39,150 --> 00:02:42,660
but on behalf
of women everywhere..
61
00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:44,000
...it is a real shame.
62
00:02:44,316 --> 00:02:45,996
What's a shame?
63
00:02:46,330 --> 00:02:47,350
- Well, that you're gay.
- What?
64
00:02:47,383 --> 00:02:49,333
I ain't gay.
65
00:02:49,660 --> 00:02:51,370
Well, Marlon said you're gay.
66
00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:53,170
Girl.. She-she trippin'.
67
00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:54,200
I didn't say he was gay.
68
00:02:54,233 --> 00:02:56,103
I said he was going gray.
69
00:02:56,133 --> 00:02:58,663
- Look at this hair right
here.
- Ow!
70
00:02:58,100 --> 00:02:59,370
That hair.. It was gray!
71
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,330
I don't want you
to look like that girl
72
00:03:01,660 --> 00:03:02,660
from "Josie And The Pussycats."
73
00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:04,150
Here let it go, brother. See?
74
00:03:04,183 --> 00:03:05,173
Cuz..
75
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,100
Hey, look,
she's a sweet
girl
76
00:03:07,133 --> 00:03:09,103
very pretty, but
she's
just got a problem
77
00:03:09,133 --> 00:03:10,283
with this earwax buildup.
78
00:03:10,316 --> 00:03:11,996
I'm tellin' you,
she's going deaf.
79
00:03:12,330 --> 00:03:13,100
I stuck my
tongue
in her ear
80
00:03:13,133 --> 00:03:15,203
it taste like
a 9-volt
battery.
81
00:03:15,233 --> 00:03:17,123
Wait, wait, wait.
Let me clear..
82
00:03:17,150 --> 00:03:19,170
Let me straighten
this whole thing out right
now.
83
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,330
I ain't gay. Aight?
84
00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:22,366
Don't let the two earrings
fool you.
85
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,200
Then it really
is a pleasure to meet you.
86
00:03:27,266 --> 00:03:29,096
Uh, heh..
87
00:03:29,133 --> 00:03:32,173
Uh, uh, well, I'm-I'm
about to go take a shower.
88
00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:35,330
So I'm...probably
gonna need my hand..
89
00:03:35,366 --> 00:03:37,376
...to turn the water on.
90
00:03:41,830 --> 00:03:43,270
Uh, boo-boo.
91
00:03:43,300 --> 00:03:45,330
Pumpkin.
92
00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:47,660
My little boo-boo bear.
93
00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:50,230
Um, I'm sorry,
did you say somethin'?
94
00:03:51,216 --> 00:03:54,146
[hip-hop music]
95
00:03:58,150 --> 00:04:00,500
- Hey, what's up, baby boy?
- Yeah, what's up, man?
96
00:04:00,830 --> 00:04:01,130
- What's the deal?
- Yeah.
97
00:04:01,166 --> 00:04:02,346
You know
what the deal is,
punk.
98
00:04:02,383 --> 00:04:04,123
What? What's wrong with you?
99
00:04:04,150 --> 00:04:05,270
Don't give' me that
what,
what's wrong with me.
100
00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:06,350
I seen you flirting
101
00:04:06,383 --> 00:04:08,203
with Jasmine last night.
102
00:04:08,233 --> 00:04:12,163
Saying all kinda
sexy words to
her.
103
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:14,180
Marlon, all I said was
I'm going to take a shower.
104
00:04:14,216 --> 00:04:17,176
Yeah, and you know
immediately when you said
that
105
00:04:17,216 --> 00:04:19,996
she would picture you
all butt naked and
soapy
106
00:04:20,330 --> 00:04:22,220
with your nipples
all percolating.
107
00:04:22,250 --> 00:04:23,270
You are crazy.
108
00:04:23,300 --> 00:04:25,230
Well, that's the
way
I pictured you.
109
00:04:25,266 --> 00:04:26,276
You lucked out, kid.
110
00:04:26,316 --> 00:04:28,146
Come on, man, Marlon,
I am your brother.
111
00:04:28,183 --> 00:04:29,133
[gibberish]
112
00:04:29,166 --> 00:04:30,216
Marlon, listen, I'm your brother
113
00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:31,380
I would never
do anything to ruin
114
00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:33,320
you and Jasmine's
relationship.
115
00:04:33,350 --> 00:04:35,270
Give me some credit, man.
116
00:04:35,300 --> 00:04:37,300
I guess I'm bugging, man.
117
00:04:37,333 --> 00:04:39,003
I don't know what it is, kid.
118
00:04:39,330 --> 00:04:40,660
It's just when I
get around Jasmine
119
00:04:40,100 --> 00:04:42,660
I just get so jealous.
120
00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:43,300
I just wanna..
121
00:04:43,333 --> 00:04:45,383
...tie her up
and...dig a
hole
122
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:48,200
and throw her in it
and keep her there.
123
00:04:48,233 --> 00:04:50,373
Just like in
"Silence Of The
Lambs."
124
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,280
It puts lotion in the bucket.
125
00:04:57,500 --> 00:04:59,500
Uh...yeah, great.
126
00:04:59,830 --> 00:05:02,500
So, anyway,
are-are we cool? Marlon?
127
00:05:02,830 --> 00:05:03,180
- Yeah.
- Are we cool?
128
00:05:03,216 --> 00:05:04,316
- Oh, yeah, we're straight,
kid.
- Okay.
129
00:05:04,350 --> 00:05:06,150
- Aight. I'm out.
- Aight, man.
130
00:05:06,183 --> 00:05:08,163
Hey, why don't you hang out
and have breakfast?
131
00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:10,170
I can't, man. I got to
audition
for "Roots On Ice."
132
00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:12,500
I'm up for the
role
of Kunta Kinte.
133
00:05:12,830 --> 00:05:14,270
Yeah, man. Hey, but they
just turned the name to
Toby.
134
00:05:14,300 --> 00:05:17,120
Now I gotta learn
to skate on one foot.
Psh!
135
00:05:23,133 --> 00:05:25,003
Don't beat me, miss.
136
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:30,160
Chicken George! I found you!
137
00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:32,200
I found you, Kunta Kinte.
138
00:05:32,233 --> 00:05:35,333
[hip-hop music]
139
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:39,220
- Hey, Shawn.
- Hey, how you doin', Jasmine?
140
00:05:39,250 --> 00:05:41,100
Okay. Is Marlon around?
141
00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:42,283
Oh, no, you just missed him.
142
00:05:42,316 --> 00:05:44,346
He had an audition
for "Roots On Ice."
143
00:05:44,383 --> 00:05:46,123
I hope he gets it.
144
00:05:46,150 --> 00:05:48,320
Oh, when is he gonna be back?
145
00:05:48,350 --> 00:05:50,330
Couple of hours.
146
00:05:50,660 --> 00:05:52,220
Oh, no. Uh..
147
00:05:52,250 --> 00:05:53,230
What's the matter?
148
00:05:53,266 --> 00:05:54,326
I lost my keys and I can't
149
00:05:54,366 --> 00:05:56,146
get into my apartment.
150
00:05:56,183 --> 00:05:58,283
I don't know
what I'm gonna
do.
151
00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:00,376
Well, do you
have a fire escape?
152
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:02,150
Yeah.
153
00:06:02,183 --> 00:06:04,333
Well, I mean, I-I could
climb up your fire escape
154
00:06:04,366 --> 00:06:07,216
if you don't mind me
breaking in through the
window.
155
00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:08,370
Oh, no.
156
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,180
I wouldn't mind you
breaking in
anywhere.
157
00:06:12,333 --> 00:06:15,273
[hip-hop music]
158
00:06:22,133 --> 00:06:24,133
- 'Shawn?'
- Hey, what's up, Marlon?
159
00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:25,246
What are you doin', son?
160
00:06:25,283 --> 00:06:27,103
- 'What's goin' on?'
- You tell me, man.
161
00:06:27,133 --> 00:06:28,323
I came by the newsstand
after my audition.
162
00:06:28,350 --> 00:06:30,200
What happened?
You wasn't there.
163
00:06:30,233 --> 00:06:31,323
Oh, um..
164
00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:33,250
...I had to meet
with this, uh,
lady.
165
00:06:33,283 --> 00:06:35,163
Uh, she's a distributor.
166
00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:36,120
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
167
00:06:36,150 --> 00:06:37,270
What's her name?
168
00:06:37,300 --> 00:06:40,830
Um...Ms. Pringle.
169
00:06:40,116 --> 00:06:41,246
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
170
00:06:41,283 --> 00:06:42,333
How'd it go? Was it good?
171
00:06:42,366 --> 00:06:44,996
- Oh, yeah, it was cool.
- Okay. Cool.
172
00:06:45,330 --> 00:06:46,120
Oh..
173
00:06:46,150 --> 00:06:48,100
[sniffing]
174
00:06:48,133 --> 00:06:49,323
What's that smell?
175
00:06:49,350 --> 00:06:51,320
Well, it smell like that
expensive cologne
176
00:06:51,350 --> 00:06:53,320
that I bought Jasmine
at the 99 Cent Store.
177
00:06:53,350 --> 00:06:55,200
- Really?
- Yeah.
178
00:06:55,233 --> 00:06:57,323
Anyway, yo, man, what are
you
all dressed up for?
179
00:06:57,350 --> 00:07:00,150
Oh, man, I got a date
with Jasmine, baby boy.
180
00:07:00,183 --> 00:07:02,233
- Really?
- Yeah, man.
181
00:07:02,266 --> 00:07:04,126
I'mma take her down
to Ellen's Cave.
182
00:07:04,166 --> 00:07:06,996
Marlon, Ellen's Cave
is a lesbian joint.
183
00:07:07,330 --> 00:07:08,200
I know.
184
00:07:08,233 --> 00:07:10,353
[laughs]
This way, no
guys
will hit on her.
185
00:07:10,383 --> 00:07:13,383
[laughs]
But women will.
186
00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:16,150
Oh, yeah.
I didn't think about
that.
187
00:07:17,383 --> 00:07:19,123
Hey, if you really
wanna impress her
188
00:07:19,150 --> 00:07:21,160
take her to this place
called the Red Coach, man.
189
00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:22,200
I'm telling you,
she'll love it.
190
00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:24,123
Peace out.
The Red Coach is
expensive.
191
00:07:24,150 --> 00:07:27,000
I ain't got that kind of money.
192
00:07:27,330 --> 00:07:28,100
Aight,
baby,
I'm out.
193
00:07:28,133 --> 00:07:29,123
Aight, man.
194
00:07:29,150 --> 00:07:31,200
- Hey.
- What?
195
00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:34,103
[rustling]
196
00:07:35,166 --> 00:07:36,376
Have fun, man.
197
00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:39,280
A $100?
198
00:07:39,316 --> 00:07:41,146
Wow.
199
00:07:41,183 --> 00:07:42,223
Thanks, but I
don't
think Jasmine's
200
00:07:42,250 --> 00:07:44,830
gonna make me
pay for it.
201
00:07:44,116 --> 00:07:46,326
And if she does,
I hope it ain't that
expensive.
202
00:07:46,366 --> 00:07:50,326
No, Marlon, that's for you.
Just go have fun.
203
00:07:50,660 --> 00:07:52,330
Oh, that's
real nice of you,
kid.
204
00:07:52,660 --> 00:07:55,500
- You aight, Shawn.
- Thanks, baby.
205
00:07:55,830 --> 00:07:56,170
- Alright.
- We're brothers, man.
206
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:57,280
- Yeah.
- We're supposed to share.
207
00:07:57,316 --> 00:07:59,376
Hey, what's mine
is yours, right?
208
00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:04,300
[door closes]
209
00:08:04,333 --> 00:08:07,333
[instrumental music]
210
00:08:11,350 --> 00:08:13,350
No, I don't believe it.
211
00:08:13,383 --> 00:08:14,383
What's that, Dee?
212
00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:16,830
A marriage proposal from your
213
00:08:16,116 --> 00:08:17,096
prison pen pal?
214
00:08:17,133 --> 00:08:19,833
[chuckles]
215
00:08:19,116 --> 00:08:20,346
Oh, my God!
216
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,130
I told you, sooner or later
he's gonna get out of jail
217
00:08:23,166 --> 00:08:24,366
and see what you
really looked like.
218
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,330
Telling him
you're half Indian.
219
00:08:27,660 --> 00:08:30,330
Oh, shut up.
It's nothing like that.
220
00:08:30,660 --> 00:08:31,500
Um..
221
00:08:31,830 --> 00:08:33,170
Jerry Springer
222
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:36,170
is using one of my ideas
223
00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:37,230
for the theme of his show
224
00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:39,146
and he is
flying
me and a guest
225
00:08:39,183 --> 00:08:41,183
into Chicago-o-o.
226
00:08:41,216 --> 00:08:42,276
[both cheering]
227
00:08:42,316 --> 00:08:44,326
[Dee laughing]
228
00:08:44,660 --> 00:08:46,330
[whistles]
229
00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:47,350
I was inspired by you two.
230
00:08:47,383 --> 00:08:50,173
And the name of the show
is "Brotherly Love."
231
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:51,200
'And guess what?'
232
00:08:51,233 --> 00:08:53,173
I submitted your names
233
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,170
to be guests on the show.
234
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,000
Oh, no, no, no.
235
00:08:57,330 --> 00:08:58,250
Hell, hell no, Dee.
236
00:08:58,283 --> 00:09:00,253
I'm not going on
no "Jerry Springer Show"
237
00:09:00,283 --> 00:09:02,333
and making a fool out of myself.
238
00:09:02,660 --> 00:09:04,830
I'll do it.
239
00:09:04,116 --> 00:09:07,146
Oh, you could, okay? I'm not.
I've seen the show, okay?
240
00:09:07,183 --> 00:09:09,123
I ain't gonna have no
transvestite running after me
241
00:09:09,150 --> 00:09:11,230
talking about "I hate you!
I hate you!"
242
00:09:11,266 --> 00:09:14,116
Hold my earring.
Hold my earring.
243
00:09:14,150 --> 00:09:18,000
Oh, come on, Shawn.
I wanna go to Chicago.
244
00:09:18,330 --> 00:09:19,250
Look, me being
on "The Jerry Springer Show"
245
00:09:19,283 --> 00:09:21,153
is good exposure, man.
246
00:09:21,183 --> 00:09:22,323
Oh, forget about
Jerry Springer.
247
00:09:22,350 --> 00:09:24,320
I wanna meet Oprah.
She's worth millions.
248
00:09:24,350 --> 00:09:27,170
Instead McCain hit it
like no damn jackrabbit.
249
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:28,370
Bang! Bang! Bang!
250
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,330
- I'm hitting Oprah.
- Yeah.
251
00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:33,180
Shawn, please, man,
let's do this.
252
00:09:33,216 --> 00:09:35,496
Look, I can't do it
without you, man.
253
00:09:35,830 --> 00:09:36,370
- It's about brothers.
- Ooh.
254
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:39,830
- Please, Shawn, please.
- Come on, Shawn.
255
00:09:39,116 --> 00:09:40,266
Be a good sport.
256
00:09:40,300 --> 00:09:43,500
(Dee)
'Please, Shawn, please.'
257
00:09:43,830 --> 00:09:45,100
Me and you on "Jerry Springer?"
258
00:09:47,500 --> 00:09:49,000
Ah, what the heck.
259
00:09:49,330 --> 00:09:50,130
I mean, what could go wrong?
260
00:09:50,166 --> 00:09:52,116
[laughs]
Alright.
261
00:09:54,233 --> 00:09:56,163
[instrumental music]
262
00:09:58,660 --> 00:09:59,200
Lester, you and Dexter
are brothers.
263
00:09:59,233 --> 00:10:01,663
Why would he be jealous of you?
264
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:02,130
Look at me.
265
00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:04,126
It's obvious
I'm the sexy one.
266
00:10:04,166 --> 00:10:05,346
[audience cheering]
267
00:10:05,383 --> 00:10:08,253
You trippin'. You trippin'.
You trippin', man.
268
00:10:08,283 --> 00:10:10,333
You are totally trippin'.
269
00:10:10,366 --> 00:10:14,226
Man, why was I voted
Mr. Federal Express, then, huh?
270
00:10:14,266 --> 00:10:16,996
(audience)
Ooh.
271
00:10:17,330 --> 00:10:20,370
That's aight. Light-skin
brothers will make a comeback.
272
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,250
[audience cheering]
273
00:10:24,366 --> 00:10:27,296
Well, tell that to Kid
from Kid 'n Play.
274
00:10:27,333 --> 00:10:30,333
[laughing]
275
00:10:30,660 --> 00:10:32,270
You realize how
ignorant
these people look?
276
00:10:32,300 --> 00:10:33,380
You know you envy me.
277
00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:36,330
I got the better car,
I got the better job
278
00:10:36,366 --> 00:10:39,216
and I definitely
gots the better girl.
279
00:10:39,250 --> 00:10:40,320
Bam!
280
00:10:42,300 --> 00:10:44,330
Whoa.
281
00:10:45,183 --> 00:10:47,283
Well, they say a picture
is worth a thousand words
282
00:10:47,316 --> 00:10:50,116
and, uh,
here are four words.
283
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:52,160
She is a fox.
284
00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:53,320
[audience cheering]
285
00:10:53,350 --> 00:10:56,830
Well, Jerry, here's four more.
286
00:10:56,116 --> 00:10:57,346
And a [beep] too!
287
00:10:57,383 --> 00:10:59,153
[audience cheering]
288
00:10:59,183 --> 00:11:01,183
Yes! I know!
289
00:11:01,216 --> 00:11:04,156
[audience cheering]
290
00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:08,330
(audience)
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
291
00:11:08,660 --> 00:11:11,160
We'll be back after this
commercial break. Stay with
us.
292
00:11:11,500 --> 00:11:15,180
(audience)
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
293
00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:17,226
Marlon, please,
please promise me
294
00:11:17,266 --> 00:11:19,226
that you won't act
ignorant
on the show.
295
00:11:19,266 --> 00:11:21,826
I may.
296
00:11:21,316 --> 00:11:22,296
[laughs]
297
00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:24,103
I'll be on my best for you.
298
00:11:24,133 --> 00:11:26,223
Aight, it's time for us to
show
America that Bryant Gumbel
299
00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:29,270
ain't the only
articulate brother on TV.
300
00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:31,180
Bryant Gumbel's black?
301
00:11:34,150 --> 00:11:36,380
Okay, let's meet
Shawn and Marlon Williams.
302
00:11:38,830 --> 00:11:39,200
What's up? What's up?
303
00:11:39,233 --> 00:11:41,303
(both)
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
304
00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:43,353
(both)
Jerry! Jerry!
305
00:11:43,383 --> 00:11:45,153
- Jerry.
- Hey, everybody.
306
00:11:45,183 --> 00:11:47,173
Th-those are my boys up there.
Those are my boys.
307
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:49,100
- Those are my boys. My boys.
- Okay. Okay.
308
00:11:49,133 --> 00:11:51,663
- Okay, we get the point.
- 'Those are my boys.'
309
00:11:51,100 --> 00:11:52,350
Thank you. We get the
point.
Have a seat.
310
00:11:52,383 --> 00:11:55,323
Have a seat. Thank you.
311
00:11:55,350 --> 00:11:57,250
Shawn and, uh,
Marlon,
welcome to the show.
312
00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:59,163
- Thank you, Jerry.
- What's up, Jerry?
313
00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:00,380
Jerry! Jerry!
Hey, thanks for having us,
man.
314
00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:03,500
Hey, my favorite show
was with the transvestite
315
00:12:03,830 --> 00:12:04,180
who was pregnant
with that midget.
316
00:12:04,216 --> 00:12:05,316
Yo, that was my favorite.
317
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:08,330
[audience cheering]
318
00:12:08,660 --> 00:12:10,370
You the man, Jerry.
You the man!
319
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:14,380
(all)
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
320
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:16,100
Okay. Okay.
321
00:12:16,133 --> 00:12:18,163
Uh, your friends
tell us that, uh
322
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:19,180
you two are the
closest
of brothers.
323
00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:20,316
That was me, Jerry.
324
00:12:20,350 --> 00:12:22,380
Dee Baxter, single black woman.
325
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,330
[audience cheering]
326
00:12:25,660 --> 00:12:27,830
Uh, thank you very
much,
single black woman.
327
00:12:27,116 --> 00:12:28,176
Yeah.
328
00:12:28,216 --> 00:12:30,326
Uh, so you guys
are very tight?
329
00:12:30,660 --> 00:12:31,180
Tight ain't the word.
330
00:12:31,216 --> 00:12:33,196
We're tighter
than Garth Brooks'
jeans.
331
00:12:33,233 --> 00:12:36,003
[laughing]
332
00:12:36,330 --> 00:12:38,330
[applause]
333
00:12:38,366 --> 00:12:40,176
You know, the thing
about it is, Jerry
334
00:12:40,216 --> 00:12:42,656
we, we spend
so much time
together
335
00:12:42,100 --> 00:12:43,270
that we know
everything
about each other.
336
00:12:43,300 --> 00:12:44,330
Yeah.
337
00:12:44,366 --> 00:12:46,156
Well, let's see how
much
you really do know.
338
00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:48,100
I'll tell you
what,
um, Marlon
339
00:12:48,133 --> 00:12:50,333
what is Shawn's favorite food
340
00:12:50,366 --> 00:12:53,346
car and...his biggest fear?
341
00:12:54,233 --> 00:12:55,333
Lasagna.
342
00:12:55,366 --> 00:12:58,176
A black Porsche Carrera.
343
00:12:58,216 --> 00:13:02,226
And one day he'll grow up
and dress tacky just like
pops.
344
00:13:02,266 --> 00:13:05,196
[all laughing]
345
00:13:05,233 --> 00:13:06,323
[applause]
346
00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:08,370
- A'ight, a'ight, a'ight.
- [indistinct]
347
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:11,380
That's right, I,
uh,
have the answers
348
00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:13,280
right here on the card.
349
00:13:13,316 --> 00:13:15,276
Okay.
350
00:13:15,316 --> 00:13:18,346
'Okay, now, Shawn,
what is Marlon's favorite
color'
351
00:13:18,383 --> 00:13:22,003
movie and his
ultimate goal in
life?
352
00:13:22,330 --> 00:13:23,830
That's easy.
353
00:13:23,116 --> 00:13:25,326
Blue, "Bout It, Bout It"
354
00:13:26,366 --> 00:13:28,376
and he has no goals.
355
00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:34,830
- That's right.
- 'You better stop.'
356
00:13:34,116 --> 00:13:35,226
Tha-that is right.
357
00:13:35,266 --> 00:13:37,196
Yeah, Jerry, see,
we know each other's secrets.
358
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:38,383
I mean, I would
never tell him either.
359
00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:40,250
Like, I would
never tell anybody
360
00:13:40,283 --> 00:13:43,123
that Shawn's nickname
with the ladies is Minute Man.
361
00:13:43,150 --> 00:13:45,660
[audience laughing]
362
00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:47,200
And I would never
tell
anybody out there
363
00:13:47,233 --> 00:13:49,303
that Marlon's
head
is lopsided.
364
00:13:51,150 --> 00:13:52,120
That ain't funny.
365
00:13:52,150 --> 00:13:53,130
You know pop dropped me
366
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:55,276
'cause he drank too much.
367
00:13:55,316 --> 00:13:58,276
[applause]
368
00:14:00,333 --> 00:14:02,373
Well, that, well, that's
great,
but even the closest brothers
369
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:04,100
have a few secrets.
370
00:14:04,133 --> 00:14:05,283
- Not us.
- Us? Mm-mm.
371
00:14:05,316 --> 00:14:07,326
I'll tell you what,
Shawn,
why don't you tell us
372
00:14:07,660 --> 00:14:08,330
where you were
last Tuesday?
373
00:14:08,366 --> 00:14:11,166
Oh, that's easy, Jerry.
I know exactly where he was.
374
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:15,280
He was at a meeting
with a distributor, right?
375
00:14:15,316 --> 00:14:18,246
Yeah, yeah, I was, I was
at a meeting with a
distributor.
376
00:14:18,283 --> 00:14:20,323
- He knows me. Ha ha!
- My man.
377
00:14:20,350 --> 00:14:22,330
He knows me.
378
00:14:22,660 --> 00:14:23,370
And what else did you
do
that Tuesday?
379
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,150
Huh?
380
00:14:26,183 --> 00:14:28,233
Well, our staff did
a little research and we
found
381
00:14:28,266 --> 00:14:31,116
someone who may be able
to jog your memory.
382
00:14:31,150 --> 00:14:34,130
Here is Marlon's girlfriend,
Jasmine.
383
00:14:34,166 --> 00:14:37,496
[instrumental music]
384
00:14:37,830 --> 00:14:39,350
[audience cheering]
385
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:46,230
[audience clapping]
386
00:14:48,830 --> 00:14:50,270
[chuckles]
387
00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:55,250
Baby, what you doing here?
388
00:14:55,283 --> 00:15:00,503
Wait, you came on here to tell
me that you're really a man.
389
00:15:00,830 --> 00:15:03,000
Damn, man, this is second time
it's happened, man!
390
00:15:09,350 --> 00:15:11,120
Well, we flew, uh,
Jasmine out here
391
00:15:11,150 --> 00:15:13,200
to try and shed some light
on Shawn's whereabouts
392
00:15:13,233 --> 00:15:14,383
last Tuesday evening.
393
00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:17,120
Why would she know
where Shawn was?
394
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:20,500
Because he was
at my apartment Tuesday.
395
00:15:20,830 --> 00:15:21,270
[audience booing]
396
00:15:21,300 --> 00:15:24,170
What? You told me that you had
a meeting with a distributer.
397
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:27,230
It looks like she was
distributing to your
brother.
398
00:15:27,266 --> 00:15:30,176
[audience cheering]
399
00:15:32,330 --> 00:15:36,300
(audience)
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
400
00:15:36,333 --> 00:15:38,103
Hold on, hold
on,
hold on, Marlon
401
00:15:38,133 --> 00:15:40,133
it ain't even
what you think, okay?
402
00:15:40,166 --> 00:15:42,266
Aight? I was in and out.
403
00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:44,300
[audience cheering]
404
00:15:44,333 --> 00:15:46,103
What do you mean
you were in and out?
405
00:15:46,133 --> 00:15:49,133
- I was at..
- You tapped that before I
did?
406
00:15:49,166 --> 00:15:50,266
[audience booing]
407
00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:53,500
Now, why did you lie
about it, Shawn?
408
00:15:53,830 --> 00:15:54,330
[audience booing]
409
00:15:54,366 --> 00:15:57,246
Yeah, why did you
lie about it, Shawn?
410
00:15:57,283 --> 00:15:59,203
Because I know you
get jealous,
Marwin.
411
00:15:59,233 --> 00:16:02,103
Oh! Come on, man.
Don't give me that.
412
00:16:02,133 --> 00:16:05,163
You know I do not
get jealous, alright?
413
00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:06,100
Hey, yo, Jerry, man
414
00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:08,133
I see you over here
lookin' at my girl, man.
415
00:16:08,166 --> 00:16:09,366
Don't make me come out there
and put my foot
416
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,000
in your behind, aight?
417
00:16:11,330 --> 00:16:12,150
[audience booing]
418
00:16:12,183 --> 00:16:17,163
I-I love your show, but I will
scrap you down, brother.
419
00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:19,230
See, what I'm talking about,
all that talk. You're
jealous.
420
00:16:19,266 --> 00:16:21,326
Well, maybe I wouldn't
be acting like this
421
00:16:21,660 --> 00:16:23,200
if you weren't trying to
steal
my girlfriend.
422
00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:24,353
- 'Ooh!'
- What?
423
00:16:24,383 --> 00:16:28,163
How can you go after
your brother's girlfriend?
424
00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:29,830
(audience)
'Yeah.'
425
00:16:29,116 --> 00:16:30,126
[audience clapping]
426
00:16:30,166 --> 00:16:32,166
'Cause he's a dog.
427
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,830
[audience cheering]
428
00:16:35,266 --> 00:16:38,166
Look, ain't nobody tryin'
to steal your girl, man.
429
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:41,000
All that happened was she lost
her keys to the apartment
430
00:16:41,330 --> 00:16:44,660
and I tried to help her
get back in. You're crazy.
431
00:16:44,100 --> 00:16:45,380
Hey, yo, look, don't
be calling me crazy, alright?
432
00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:49,160
'Cause I'm not crazy! I hate
when people call me crazy!
433
00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:51,330
I hate that!
I hate that! I hate that!
434
00:16:51,660 --> 00:16:53,170
Son, you don't know me!
Don't be calling me crazy!
435
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:55,250
Hey, yo, Jerry, tell him
to stop callin' me crazy
436
00:16:55,283 --> 00:16:56,323
before I go crazy!
437
00:16:56,350 --> 00:16:58,230
(Jerry)
Okay.
438
00:16:58,266 --> 00:17:01,166
Shawn, uh, please
refrain
from callin' him crazy.
439
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:02,250
Man, [beep].
440
00:17:02,283 --> 00:17:04,373
[audience cheering]
441
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,500
Hell, yeah! [beep].
442
00:17:07,830 --> 00:17:08,170
[beep] don't be cursing
at me.
443
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:09,220
[beep]
444
00:17:09,250 --> 00:17:10,350
[indistinct shouting]
445
00:17:10,383 --> 00:17:12,503
[beep]
446
00:17:12,830 --> 00:17:14,000
Hey, hey, hey.
447
00:17:14,330 --> 00:17:15,130
[indistinct shouting]
448
00:17:16,333 --> 00:17:18,353
Uh, Jasmine, just,
just out of curiosity
449
00:17:18,383 --> 00:17:20,383
do you find, uh,
Shawn attractive?
450
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:22,220
Who wouldn't?
451
00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:23,350
I mean..
452
00:17:25,216 --> 00:17:27,176
...he's handsome,
a good dresser,
453
00:17:27,216 --> 00:17:30,246
he's in shape, he's a
gentleman,
and I think that--
454
00:17:30,283 --> 00:17:32,153
Aight [beep]
we get the point.
455
00:17:32,183 --> 00:17:34,333
[audience clapping]
456
00:17:34,366 --> 00:17:37,366
If Marlon, uh,
if Marlon wasn't
born
457
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,120
could you see
yourself
dating Shawn?
458
00:17:39,150 --> 00:17:42,660
Oh, definitely. Definitely.
459
00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:44,320
That girl is nothing but trash!
460
00:17:44,350 --> 00:17:47,380
Hey! Uh-uh! [beep].
461
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:50,330
[audience cheering]
462
00:17:50,366 --> 00:17:52,246
- Baby, baby.
- Oh, forget it. No, uh-uh!
463
00:17:52,283 --> 00:17:54,333
You need to watch
who you callin'
trash
464
00:17:54,660 --> 00:17:56,250
Marsha Warfield. Okay?
465
00:17:56,283 --> 00:17:58,253
Come-come on now.
Come on.
466
00:17:58,283 --> 00:17:59,253
[audience cheering]
467
00:17:59,283 --> 00:18:01,333
[indistinct chattering]
468
00:18:01,660 --> 00:18:02,120
[beep]
469
00:18:02,150 --> 00:18:05,000
[indistinct shouting]
470
00:18:05,330 --> 00:18:07,230
[beep] Get off me! [beep]
471
00:18:07,266 --> 00:18:09,276
[indistinct shouting]
472
00:18:10,333 --> 00:18:12,663
Don't you be talking
to Dee like that
473
00:18:12,100 --> 00:18:13,200
you little skeezer.
474
00:18:13,233 --> 00:18:16,163
[audience cheering]
475
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,350
Hey, I don't talk about your
cockeyed fat white friend.
476
00:18:22,366 --> 00:18:24,996
Hey, hey, hey, you littleNegro!
477
00:18:25,330 --> 00:18:27,100
That's my mama
you talking about!
478
00:18:27,133 --> 00:18:29,303
Oh. That's my mama too?
479
00:18:31,133 --> 00:18:33,833
Mama, I'm sorry.
Mama, I'm sorry.
480
00:18:33,116 --> 00:18:35,096
Mama, I'm sorry.
481
00:18:36,366 --> 00:18:38,156
Well, look, I can't
just be sittin' here
482
00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:39,500
disrespecting my girl.
483
00:18:39,830 --> 00:18:40,330
This is my girl, man.
I love her.
484
00:18:40,366 --> 00:18:42,116
Man, you only knew her
for two weeks.
485
00:18:42,150 --> 00:18:44,170
You kept porno videos out
longer than that.
486
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:46,220
[audience exclaiming]
487
00:18:47,283 --> 00:18:50,333
Look, man,
I don't want your girl.
488
00:18:50,660 --> 00:18:51,230
Tryin' to act all innocent.
489
00:18:51,266 --> 00:18:53,096
You know exactly
what you doin'.
490
00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:56,203
Walking around the house,
brushing your teeth andwashing
491
00:18:56,233 --> 00:18:58,103
usinglotion.
492
00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:00,350
Hey, don't get mad at me
493
00:19:00,383 --> 00:19:03,103
'cause I like
to wash my ass, aight?
494
00:19:03,133 --> 00:19:05,223
[audience cheering]
495
00:19:05,250 --> 00:19:07,250
I don't want her.
496
00:19:09,150 --> 00:19:12,220
I don't want her, he said
he's sweet. I don't want her.
497
00:19:12,250 --> 00:19:14,660
[laughing]
498
00:19:14,100 --> 00:19:15,150
Oh, you like you're
too good for her.
499
00:19:15,183 --> 00:19:16,283
She ain't good enough for you?
500
00:19:16,316 --> 00:19:20,656
Oh, I guess she ain't
light enough.
501
00:19:20,100 --> 00:19:23,830
Sell out brothers
on the next "Jerry Springer."
502
00:19:23,116 --> 00:19:24,296
[indistinct chattering]
503
00:19:24,333 --> 00:19:27,223
You know what, color-struck
brothers on this next
"Jerry--"
504
00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:29,170
Crazy brothers
on the next "Jerry Springer."
505
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:30,320
- I'm out of here, man.
- I told you about call--
506
00:19:30,350 --> 00:19:32,170
You're stupid!
And you're
crazy!
507
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:33,230
- I'm crazy and stupid?
- Yeah.
508
00:19:33,266 --> 00:19:35,326
I told him, I told him..
509
00:19:35,660 --> 00:19:37,250
[audience cheering]
510
00:19:40,233 --> 00:19:43,103
(audience)
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
511
00:19:43,133 --> 00:19:46,163
(audience)
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
512
00:19:46,500 --> 00:19:48,300
(audience)
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
513
00:19:48,333 --> 00:19:51,103
Hold on, hold on,
hold my earring!
514
00:19:51,133 --> 00:19:52,283
'Hold my earring!'
515
00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:54,196
Hold my earring.
Come on.
516
00:19:54,233 --> 00:19:57,283
(audience)
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
517
00:19:57,316 --> 00:20:00,326
(audience)
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
518
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:03,216
(audience)
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
519
00:20:03,250 --> 00:20:05,280
Hit me now! Hit me now!
520
00:20:05,316 --> 00:20:07,656
Hit me now!
521
00:20:07,100 --> 00:20:08,330
Yeah. Yeah.
522
00:20:08,366 --> 00:20:11,346
[audience cheering]
523
00:20:13,383 --> 00:20:15,133
[instrumental music]
524
00:20:15,166 --> 00:20:17,346
Well, today we've seen
several types of brotherly
love.
525
00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:21,353
Now, some brothers express
their love by strangulation.
526
00:20:21,383 --> 00:20:25,103
Others by stealing
your sibling's girlfriend.
527
00:20:25,133 --> 00:20:27,183
Now, some may see
these ways as wrong
528
00:20:27,216 --> 00:20:30,326
but others may say
they're right.
529
00:20:30,660 --> 00:20:32,380
But one thing is for sure.
530
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:35,500
- I'm glad I'm an only
child--
- Give me..
531
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:40,660
♪ What's that sound
echo in the night ♪
532
00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:44,500
♪ The sound I hear
when I'm holding you tight ♪
533
00:20:44,830 --> 00:20:46,250
♪ It's my bell baby
that you rang ♪
534
00:20:46,283 --> 00:20:50,163
♪ 'Cause my love going
bang bang bang ♪
535
00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:53,280
♪ When my love
goes bang bang bang ♪
536
00:20:53,316 --> 00:20:55,276
♪ You better run
for cover.. ♪♪
537
00:20:57,300 --> 00:21:01,100
Damn, Marlon, I can't believe
you attacked me on national TV.
538
00:21:03,330 --> 00:21:05,200
Told you not
to call me crazy, right?
539
00:21:05,233 --> 00:21:07,333
Yeah, it's my fault.
540
00:21:07,366 --> 00:21:09,116
I'm sorry,
I-I should have told
you
541
00:21:09,150 --> 00:21:11,250
I was over
at Jasmine's house that
day.
542
00:21:11,283 --> 00:21:14,103
Yeah, and I should
have believed you.
543
00:21:14,133 --> 00:21:15,203
I don't know, kid.
544
00:21:15,233 --> 00:21:17,323
It's just...I guess
I'm just a little jealous
545
00:21:17,350 --> 00:21:19,000
when it comes to Jasmine.
546
00:21:19,330 --> 00:21:21,100
[chuckles]
A little
jealous?
547
00:21:21,133 --> 00:21:22,323
Boy, you are
crazy
about Jasmine.
548
00:21:22,350 --> 00:21:26,120
I-I'm sorry. I mean,
you are wild about
Jasmine.
549
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,250
Well, now that
you've conceded
550
00:21:31,283 --> 00:21:33,353
I guess she's
all mine now, huh?
551
00:21:36,166 --> 00:21:39,156
Uh, guess again.
552
00:21:39,500 --> 00:21:41,160
Look.
553
00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:43,180
I don't know
what I'm gonna do,
Jerry.
554
00:21:43,216 --> 00:21:46,326
I locked my keys
in my dressing
room.
555
00:21:50,316 --> 00:21:53,276
[hip-hop music]
556
00:22:00,233 --> 00:22:01,303
- Jerry! Jerry!
- What do you wanna do?
557
00:22:01,333 --> 00:22:03,153
What do you wanna do?
Hit me now!
558
00:22:03,183 --> 00:22:05,233
Hit me now! Hit me now!
559
00:22:05,266 --> 00:22:07,176
Hit me now!
Hit me now!
560
00:22:07,216 --> 00:22:09,146
Come over here.
Come over here.
561
00:22:09,183 --> 00:22:11,233
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
562
00:22:13,250 --> 00:22:16,250
[audience cheering]
563
00:22:21,830 --> 00:22:22,320
(audience)
Jerry! Jerry!
564
00:22:22,350 --> 00:22:24,200
(audience)
Jerry! Jerry!
565
00:22:24,233 --> 00:22:26,223
(Shawn)Look up, Marlon. Say cheese.
39907
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