Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

Yabba dabba doos, Lucas Akins.

[humming]

Look at that.

Ew, TC, where'd you get that outfit?

You look like you jacked a gay zebra.

[babbling]

Why you wanna go there, baby?

- I look good! - Yeah, alright.

And what the hell is all this?

Like-like some project cotton candy.

I bought all this at Pimp N Save.

- Mm-hmm. - Yeah!

But if y'all gonna keep disrespecting

my Haberdashery..

...I'll just have to leave with your

Busta Rhymes tickets.

Wait-wait-wait, hold on.. Hold on.

Ain't nobody disrespectin' your Hash-barberdashery, you..

- You-you look slick, man. - Yeah, that's what I thought.

And then-then-then look, look, check it, check it.

The concert is sold out, but I got you tickets

for the first night second row seats.

Oh, that was beautiful, bro.

- Anything for a friend. - Oh-h-h..

That'd be $150.

A $150?

Friends like you, who needs enemas?

That's enemies.

Who cares? They're both pain in the asses.

[mumbling] I thought you all grew up with Busta.

Why don't you just get him to put you on the guest list?

You know how it is when you blow up, man?

You gotta talk to a million people

before you get to the star.

Well,

You don't have to go through all my people to get to me.

It's 'cause all your peoples in jail.

- Mwah. - Alright, alright.

You dropped a hard bargain, but I guess

Busta is worth a $150.

- Alright, alright. - Alright, man.

Pay it up, brother.

Yeah, there we go!

- Hey, where you goin'? - I'm going back to Pimp N Save.

I'm gonna get.. I'm gonna get the platforms

with the fish in 'em.

[laughing]

Look, what I got at Pimp N Save.

It's one of a kind.

(both) ?Player hater.

[theme song]

♪ We're brothers ♪

♪ We're happy and we're singin' ♪

♪ And we're colored ♪

♪ Give me a high five ♪♪

(male #1) 'Alright, cut and print. Beautiful, guys.'

'Dynamite.'

[hip-hop music]

[instrumental music]

Get out of my way!

Dag, Dee. What's the matter?

They arrested the Dang A Ling dancers down at the strip club?

Sorry, I'm a little stressed out.

You know, if we don't get $2000 by Monday

they're gonna foreclose at my church.

Well, Dee, can't you ask for an extension?

Shawn, this is no time for Dee to be thinkin' about

getting a weave.

I'm talking about extension on her loan.

Or, better yet, why don't you go down to City Hall?

Maybe you get it declared a-a landmark.

Oh!

I'll give it a shot.

- Alright. - Yeah!

Oh, shucks!

Guys, I'm supposed to deposit the church's money.

Oh, Dee, just give it to me. I'll take it down to the bank.

I'd rather give it to Kevin Costner

to make a movie with it.

That's cold. That's cold. Now, Dee.

You know what? I'll make sure he gets it there.

Give it to him.

Okay, but you make sure you keep your eyes on him. Okay?

- Thank you! - That...

Dang, girl. What's with all the singles?

What, the choir was givin' out lap dances?

Boy, I got a new magic trick.

Pick a card! Any card!

- Alright. - Yabba-dee!

- Got you. - Three of club.

- No. - Seven of spades.

Uh-huh.

- King of hearts? - No way,amigo.

- Five of diamonds. - Try again, my friend.

Six of diamonds?

Oh, my God! You're right!

Wow, pop, you're pretty good at this.

The great Nokorachi has done it again!

Boy, tryin' to steal my style.

Hey, look here. Uh, St. Blacktrick's Day.

We need to sell back those tickets to you, man.

Because I need the money 'cause I'm tryin'

to help to save Dee's church.

Oh, no, no, no. That money islong gone.

Mm-hmm. But, look, i-if you really need money

we can jump in my mama's Monte Carlos, hmm?

We head down to the concert, we sell the tickets

for triple of what you paid.

Uh, thanks, but no thanks, Tacky.

Uh, we gotta get down to the bank.

Alright. See you all at the show.

Hey..

(Marlon) You know what, Shawn?

He just had a great idea.

Look, we take this money, right?

We go buy some more tickets, and we scalp 'em

we'll make triple the money and help save the church.

I mean, that does sound like a good idea

but, Marlon, that-that's sounds illegal.

Look, it's for the church.

Well, now that you've put it like that

it don't sound that bad.

Yeah, the TC is doin' it.

Sure, we could do it.

'Cause we're definitely smarter than he be.

Well, I mean, isn't smarter than we is.

[instrumental music]

Yo, yo, yo. Busta Rhymes tickets here.

Yo, Busta Rhymes tickets.

Tickets! For day one tickets!

What's up? Who wants to see Busta Rhymes

performance of greatest hits tickets?

Now you 'bout to feel one of my greatest hits

if you don't shut up.

- Why? - You're loud, man.

So what about some tickets?

Hey, Shawn, this is great, man.

TC, she came through. We can invest these tickets, G.

Oh, he only did that so he can make some more money

to print out more of 'em bootleg T-shirts to sell.

Busta Rhymes T-shirts, three for $10.

Hey, how'd you get them T-shirts printed up so quick?

Oh, my niece drew it.

Eww, she in special-ed class?

Yeah. That's crazy.

Tickets! Who want tickets?

Yo, skinny crab, you want some tickets, tickets..

Yo, yo, I'll buy your tickets, homey.

- Alright, cool, cool. - Uh, sorry.

We're selling Busta Rhymes tickets

not tickets to the river dance.

[indistinct]

I know who it is. How many you got?

Six, at a $100 each.

I'll take 'em.

You'd take 'em?

Shawn, we did it. We saved the church!

- Hell, yeah. - Waah!

- Word up. - I told you.

You're both under arrest for scalping tickets.

What the..

- Hold.. Hold on - TC..

- Hey, TC. - TC, TC.

- TC. TC.. - Wait, wait, wait.

Hold on, Elmer J. Fudd.

Wh-wh-why, this is one big mistake.

[nervous chuckle]

Come on, man. We.. Look.. I can't go to jail, man.

I don't want a boyfriend.

- Come on, man. - Too bad you're goin'.

- There goes Busta. - Busta!

- Oh, Busta.. - Stop the car! Stop the car!

- Busta! - Yo, Busta!

- He'll get us out. Watch. - Yo, roll down the window, yo.

- Ew! - Ew!

You ain't Busta.

Hey, hey, hey. Yo!

Busta, remember.. You remember us?

Remember us? You know, ra ra ra.

- Hey, hey, hey! - Hey, Busta, remember.

We went to I-70 together. Remember..

Remember we used to pop lock together.

- Do the thing. - Remember. Pop, pop..

[humming]

Spit it out, spit it out.

Yeah, I do remember y'all.

No doubt. I remember y'all.

But you the funny character that stole my girl from me

in tenth grade, dude.

No, dude. No, dude, yo.

She threw the booty at me, Lisa.

Yo, man. She gave everybody some.

Yeah, yeah. Even I had some of that.

- Alright. Okay. - Pretty Lisa. Yeah.

- I wonder what happened to her. - Pretty Lisa?

Here she is.

She's my fiance.

My bad. Hey, Lisa, you still do that trick with the tongue?

Hey!

You know, these two were scalping tickets to your show.

- Oh, yeah? - 'Yeah.'

Oh, alright, take them to jail and all of that.

But, Busta, come on, man. We..

- Hey, man, what the.. - Ra ra ra.

- Come on.. - Yeah, but Busta..

[instrumental music]

Hey, pop. Thanks again for bailin' us out last night.

Yeah, pop, you came just in time.

Shawn was about to trade me for a carton of cigarettes.

I would've left you in there if it wasn't for a good cause.

You went and lost all of Dee's money.

Hey, pop, is it legal for them

to confiscate all our money like that?

What you expect 'em to do? Let you get off scot-free

and keep the money, too.

You ain'twhite.

- Hey, Dee. Hey.. - Stay away from me!

Look, Dee. We're sorry, girl.

- Look, all we were tryin' to-- - 'You're always sorry.'

Sorry is not enough. That was church money!

Yeah, Dee, i-it was kinda stupid what we did.

Well, Shawn made me do it, Dee.

- Boy.. - 'It was beyond stupid.'

They didn't give me an extension

so, now, they're really going for a close.

You two should be ashamed of yourselves.

Hmph.

See, man, this is all my fault.

There's gotta be some way we could earn $3000

by tomorrow, Shawn.

Well, you know, when I used to be in the band

of Temptones, we used to raise money by givin' benefits.

Come on, pop, nobody gonna spent no money to see your

crusty old frogs perform on stage.

What you talkin' about?

Mick Jagger and Rolling Stones are still out there

makin' that paper!

Will you stop it? Sick Jagger.

Like I said, pop. Nobody's gonna spent no money to see y'all.

Come on, man!

Now, the only way we're gonna sell $3000 for the tickets

is if we get a real star to perform.

[laughs]

You know what, pop? Shawn is right.

Look, you guys spread the word about the benefit

prepare the church, I'm going to get Busta Rhymes.

What? Marlon, Busta Rhymes put us in prison last night.

Yeah, I know.

You think he's gonna pull that off?

Nope.

[instrumental music]

I can't believe. I've only sold seven T-shirts.

I can't believe you're sellin' T-shirts in a church, man.

[incoherent babbling]

I ain't keepin' the money.

Well, look, In Living Color..

...you should keep a little bit of money.

You look like a pack of Lifesavers.

Shh.

- Hey. - Oh, thank you!

Oh, ooh, $2950..

...$3000.

The bank will not foreclose on my church name.

Well, I'll tell you one thing, the audience will

if Marlon doesn't show up here soon with Busta.

[whistling]

Hey, tough guy.

- This your vehicle? - Yeah.

- Great. - Hey!

Shut up...and listen.

- Name's Officer Williams. - Wait-wait-wait.

How come your uniform doesn't fit?

- Ow! - Shut up, punk.

I'll ask the questions, you just answer, you understand me?

Now, uh, we got a little call down at the station

that, uh, Mr. Busta Rhymes there is, uh, smuggling

white women

Is it true? Let's check the truck.

- What? - Listen, punk.

I'm NYPD, okay. Don't make me plant narcotics on you.

- You got me? - Whoa-whoa-whoa--

- So let's get it moving. - Okay, okay.

Alright, you location to me.

- Come on, let's go. - Hey, take it easy!

Alright, let's hurry up. Come on, hurry up.

- I don't have all day. - Stop, it's not my car.

Shut up, punk!

It's a Rent-A-Car.

See, there's nobody in the car trunk.

Get it in there! Shut up!

- Aww! - Shut up! Shut up!

- Ow! - I'm sorry.

But I'm on a mission from God.

[instrumental music]

(in unison) Busta, Busta, Busta..

Uh-uh. Shawn?

- We gotta do something quick. - Okay, okay, um..

Uh, Dee, why don't you, um..

...you go-you go, uh, look out for Marlon and I'm gonna go

try and entertain this audience, alright.

(all) Busta, Busta, Busta!

I'm vibin', y'all.

Wassup? Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Hey, y'all.

Welcome to the benefit to save The Church of Angels.

- Yes, yeah. - Yeah.

Hallelujah!

Hey, uh, Busta Rhymes..

I just wanna tell y'all, Busta Rhymes'

gonna be here any minute.

Alright. Yeah!

He's only about two hours away, so you guys sit tight.

He sent me up here to do a little bit of time

and open for him. Get you guys warmed up and excited.

So, um, I'm gonna start off with a couple of impressions, okay?

'Now, this is Chris Tucker at the Oscar Awards.'

[high-pitched] Silent! What's up, man?

Where's my Oscar, man? Where's my Oscar?

...my Oscar for $50, my man!

Come on, man.

Hey, hey, hey. What you booin' for?

Hey, oh, hey. I know you ain't makin' noise..

...Amistad.

Give us free..

Give us free fundraiser.

They gonna kill my boy.

Come on, why you run down me on like that?

Hey, look. This ain't noPaolo.

[crowd booing]

[door creaks]

[speaking in foreign language]

Yo, we tryin' to make it to this after-party.

Quick fast and in a hurry.

So, you know, let's-let's move on it.

[pop]

[screams] They are shooting!

They're shootin'!

Yo! You leavin' my security.

Don't worry, my friend. I know a shortcut to the party.

Okay? Hold on.

[tires screeching]

♪ And girl you hang out all night ♪

♪ What am I to do ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ 'Cause my girl wants to ♪

♪ Party all the time ♪

♪ Party all the time ♪♪

[crowd booing]

We have to do something else.

- Quick. - Oh. Oh, oh.

Okay, oh-oh, ladies and gentlemen

you guys are in for a real treat.

Uh, this next guy comin' to stage

is better than David Copperfield.

Schofield.

Uh, give it up

for the Great Niggarachi, y'all.

Give me mine, give me mine.

My first trick is to get rid of that bad singer.

[audience cheering]

No, no, no, uh, thank you kindly

but save it for the comic.

I am the Great Niggarachi.

In my recent travel to China, I picked up a lot of tricks.

Also picked up some magic too. I..

[beats cymbals]

Thank you kindly.

I have in my hand five rings, look, they are separate

in their own entity.

And through the magnificence of Niggarachi

I am going to combine these rings together in one sweep.

[mumbling] The magic word, please.

[gibberish]

[clattering]

[audience booing]

(Busta) No, you crazy, man, what you doing?

[booing]

Don't you disrespect the-the Great Niggarachi.

I'm going to on a count of three

descend into this box and disappear forever.

[audience cheering]

- Okay. - Goodbye, ingrates!

Okay. Okay.

Alright, count with me.

(in unison) One, two, three.

- Hi. - Oh!

You're standing on my foot.

[booing]

The Great Niggarachi has done it again.

(all) Busta. Busta. Busta.

I can't believe Marlon left us hangin' like this.

- I can do a encore. - No, you can't do nothin'.

Now, let's face it, that Busta is not comin'

and let's just give the people the money back, come on.

I'm so sorry, Dee.

Well, you tried.

Alright, I'll go make an announcement to the audience.

- I'm sorry. - That's okay.

Ooh! It's after-party!

Oh!

[cheering]

Yo, this ain't the after-party. Where-where the show, phat.

Over here, my friend.

Oh, no.

Not you two characters again, man.

Oh, look, I don't even want the drama.

What ya got to do is let me go

and I ain't pressin' no charges.

Nah, nah, look, Busta, I'm sorry about all this, man

but, look, if you don't perform

for the Church, man, they're gonna close it down.

This don't look like no church.

It, look.. Sure it is, look, here.

- Here the reverend, right here. - Put it up well.

Oh, what's up, man? How you doin'? Hello.

- That's his lovely wife. - How you doin'?

They ain't even having sex, seriously.

[audience laughing]

It's church, man.

I'm sayin', you should have told me that

from the beginning, you frontin' talkin'

about after-party and all of that.

You should have just told us that from the beginnin'

you know, we got to rep our peoples--

- So you're gonna do it? - No problem, man.

(Marlon) Oh, oh, oh!

God don't like ugly.

But he'll make an exception tonight.

(Marlon) 'Alright, alright, alright.'

Y'all put your hands together.

Put your hands where your eyes to see

for my man, Busta Rhymes

and the Flipmode Squad!

♪ One time y'all Busta Rhymes y'all feel good y'all ♪

♪ Just swing it to the left swing to the right ♪

♪ Make ya feel good make ya feel alright ♪

♪ One time feel good yeah y'all ♪

♪ Busta Rhymes in the place y'all ♪

♪ Makin' you feel real good y'all ♪

♪ Flipmode is the Squad in the place y'all ♪

♪ Buckwild to all of my people who don't care ♪

♪ Floss like a bunch of young black millionaires ♪

♪ Makin' ya run me and my Dunn stackin' my ones ♪

♪ Floss a lil' invest up in a mutual fund ♪

♪ Blowin' the horn a sense of every day I was born ♪

♪ Never dreamed I'd see my brother landscaping my lawn ♪

♪ Dangerous my shh be accurate ♪

♪ Have to get the flow be so immaculate ♪

♪ Aiyyo aiyyo watchin' my dough sippin' my Moe ♪

♪ Slippin' in slow them pretty women sayin' hello ♪

♪ Anyway go 'head and diss play your Oil of Olay ♪

♪ Little honey dip within a little Cariola ♪

♪ I don't mean to hold you up but I got somethin' to say ♪

♪ Swear to only give you hot shh everyday ♪

♪ Afraid of us you know this ain't no game to us ♪

♪ You strange to us that's when we gettin' dangerous come on ♪

♪ This is serious ♪

♪ We could make you delirious ♪

♪ You should have a healthy fear of us ♪

♪ 'Cause too much of us is dangerous ♪

♪ So dangerous we so dangerous ♪

♪ My Flipmode Squad is dangerous ♪

♪ So dangerous we so dangerous ♪

♪ My whole entire unit is dangerous ♪

♪ Hold your breath we swingin' it from right to left ♪

♪ Word to Wyclef you know my shit be hot to death ♪

♪ Stayin' alive you know only the strong survive ♪

♪ Holdin' my heat under my seat whippin' my five ♪

♪ Bassline for all of my people movin' around ♪

♪ Give me a pound all of my Squad holdin' it down ♪

♪ Cuttin' you up the new shh ruckin' you up ♪

♪ I see you up my black hole suckin' you up ♪

♪ Back in the days a brother used to be ass out ♪

♪ Now my brother holdin' several money market accounts ♪

♪ Blaze the street and then I would just like to announce ♪

♪ Feelin' my groove my jigga jigga makin' you bounce ♪

♪ Others is fair me and my Squad breakin' the bread ♪

♪ Straight gettin' it we got you suckers holdin' your head ♪

♪ Afraid of us you know this ain't no game to us ♪

♪ You strange to us that's when we gettin' dangerous come on ♪

♪ This is serious ♪

♪ We could make you delirious ♪

♪ You should have a healthy fear of us ♪

♪ 'Cause too much of us is dangerous ♪

♪ So dangerous we so dangerous ♪

♪ My Flipmode Squad is dangerous ♪

♪ So dangerous we so dangerous ♪

♪ My whole entire unit is dangerous ♪

♪ One time y'all ♪

♪ Throw your hands real high y'all ♪

♪ Yeah get down y'all ♪

♪ Let me see you all y'all ♪

♪ Busta Rhymes Flipmode y'all ♪

♪ Nineteen ninety eight y'all ♪

♪ Ha get down y'all ♪

♪ Let's have a ball y'all ♪

♪ Feelin' the heat up in the street rockin' the beat ♪

♪ Step up in the club take me to my reserved seat ♪

♪ Comin' around all of my people surround me ♪

♪ So much bottles of liquor y'all brothers will drown me ♪

♪ Makin' ya drunk feelin' the funk blazin' the skunk ♪

♪ Stay hittin' with the shit that blow a hole in ya trunk ♪

♪ Afraid of us you know this ain't no game to us ♪

♪ You strange to us that's when we gettin' dangerous come on ♪

♪ This is serious ♪ ♪ Pa pa pa pa pa pa ♪

♪ We could make you delirious ♪

♪ You should have a healthy fear of us ♪

♪ 'Cause too much of us is dangerous ♪

♪ So dangerous we so dangerous ♪

♪ My Flipmode Squad is dangerous ♪

♪ So dangerous we so dangerous ♪

♪ My whole entire unit is dangerous come on ♪

♪ Uhh uhh uhh uh-huh uh-huh uhh ♪

♪ Uh-huh uhh uhh uhh uhh ♪

♪ Uhh uhh uh-huh uhh ♪

♪ Uh-huh uhh uhh ♪

♪ Say Flipmode ♪

♪ Say Flipmode ♪

♪ Say Flipmode ♪

♪ Say Flipmode ♪ Flipmode ♪

♪ Say Flipmode ♪ Flipmode ♪

♪ Say Flipmode ♪ Flipmode ♪

♪ Say Flipmode ♪ Flipmode ♪

♪ Say Flipmode ♪ Flipmode ♪

♪ Uhh ♪♪

[audience cheering]

Do Mick Jagger again.

More tongue.

(Shawn) Look up, Marlon, say "Cheese."