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1
00:00:02,100 --> 00:00:05,270
Now, Dee, how do you
get rid of a big rat?
2
00:00:05,300 --> 00:00:07,380
I'd tell him
I want a relationship.
3
00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:10,100
[chuckles]
4
00:00:10,133 --> 00:00:12,273
Pop, you still got that rat
living underneath your
house?
5
00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:14,250
Yeah, and he's getting worse.
6
00:00:14,283 --> 00:00:16,233
Put out a rattrap
with some cheese on top
7
00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:18,096
come back the next day
the cheese is gone
8
00:00:18,133 --> 00:00:20,273
and there's a note
asking for crackers.
9
00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:27,230
- Call the humane society.
- I can't do that.
10
00:00:27,266 --> 00:00:30,496
There already on my case
about my recipe for meat loaf.
11
00:00:30,830 --> 00:00:31,150
[spits]
12
00:00:33,660 --> 00:00:36,150
Hey, techie, let me get
some of that meat loaf
special.
13
00:00:36,183 --> 00:00:37,373
Uh, here, kid,
you can have mine.
14
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,000
- Oh, thank you.
- Mine too.
15
00:00:40,330 --> 00:00:42,330
Why, thank you, Dee.
16
00:00:42,366 --> 00:00:45,096
Oh, thank you.
Okay. Ho, hey! Ho-ho!
17
00:00:45,133 --> 00:00:47,133
Hey, you bit off this
you take this.
18
00:00:47,166 --> 00:00:48,246
[theme song]
19
00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:52,500
♪ We're brothers ♪
20
00:00:52,830 --> 00:00:55,830
♪ We're happy and we're singing
and we're colored ♪
21
00:00:56,350 --> 00:00:59,120
♪ Give me a high five ♪♪
22
00:00:59,150 --> 00:01:00,220
(male #1)
'Alright, cut and print.'
23
00:01:00,250 --> 00:01:02,280
'Beautiful, guys.
Dynamite.'
24
00:01:02,316 --> 00:01:05,096
[theme music]
25
00:01:28,316 --> 00:01:30,316
[instrumental music]
26
00:01:32,233 --> 00:01:34,283
Shawn! Shawn!
Black, you gotta hide.
27
00:01:34,316 --> 00:01:36,216
Why the Jehovah's Witnesses
are coming?
28
00:01:38,250 --> 00:01:40,830
No, Shawn, Ted.
29
00:01:40,116 --> 00:01:41,996
I just seen Ted Moore,
remember the guy you got
fired
30
00:01:42,330 --> 00:01:43,280
from the advertising
agency
last year?
31
00:01:43,316 --> 00:01:45,126
I just seen him on the street he
looked like he was headed here.
32
00:01:45,166 --> 00:01:47,316
Oh, I remember him,
he went crazy
33
00:01:47,350 --> 00:01:49,380
and they had to commit him
to a mental institution.
34
00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:51,180
Right, and right
before
they locked him up
35
00:01:51,216 --> 00:01:52,996
he said he was gonna
get back at you.
36
00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:56,660
Oh, please. I hear it took
six men to strap him down.
37
00:01:56,100 --> 00:01:57,350
I don't care how many people
strapped him down.
38
00:01:57,383 --> 00:01:59,153
- I don't care how crazy he
is--
- Shawn--
39
00:01:59,183 --> 00:02:01,123
- I ain't running from
nobody.
- 'Shawn, you..'
40
00:02:01,150 --> 00:02:02,230
I'm telling you
he had this crazy look
41
00:02:02,266 --> 00:02:03,996
in his eye like,
like David Banner
42
00:02:04,330 --> 00:02:05,280
right before
he turned into the hulk.
43
00:02:05,316 --> 00:02:08,496
[shrieks]
44
00:02:09,350 --> 00:02:11,270
Marlon, I don't care
how crazy he is, okay?
45
00:02:11,300 --> 00:02:13,100
I ain't running from nobody.
46
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,153
If Ted want some of me,
he knows where I'm at
47
00:02:15,183 --> 00:02:16,173
this is my house.
48
00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:17,320
- MeCasa.
- Shawn.
49
00:02:17,350 --> 00:02:19,170
(Shawn)
'Homes.'
50
00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,830
Especially since I've been
in the gym, puttin' it up
51
00:02:21,116 --> 00:02:23,316
puttin' it up, puttin'
it up,
put it up, put it up.
52
00:02:26,316 --> 00:02:28,826
He's..
53
00:02:28,116 --> 00:02:30,346
- He's behind me, huh?
- Yeah.
54
00:02:30,383 --> 00:02:33,163
What's up, Ted, man?
55
00:02:33,500 --> 00:02:35,330
Yeah-ha-ha!
56
00:02:35,366 --> 00:02:39,346
Yo, man, yo, man, so you just
got out of the hospital, huh?
57
00:02:39,383 --> 00:02:42,283
Yeah, this is the first
place
that I came.
58
00:02:42,316 --> 00:02:44,096
Hey, man, I've been trying
to get with you
59
00:02:44,133 --> 00:02:45,333
when you was in the hospital,
I tried to visit
60
00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:47,366
but you know how it
get busy over here, man--
61
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,230
Just don't, don't worry, Shawn.
62
00:02:49,266 --> 00:02:52,096
I'm over that
whole
revenge thing.
63
00:02:52,133 --> 00:02:54,223
I've been seeing a therapist.
64
00:02:54,250 --> 00:02:56,100
Oh, word?
65
00:02:56,133 --> 00:02:58,303
A massage therapist?
66
00:02:58,333 --> 00:03:01,123
Hey, you know if, uh,
you slip 'em an extra
50
67
00:03:01,150 --> 00:03:02,270
they'll work
your backside and
if--
68
00:03:02,300 --> 00:03:04,350
I meant a psychiatrist.
69
00:03:04,383 --> 00:03:07,223
Oh, actually,
they'll do it for an extra
100.
70
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:12,100
I have had 36,000 hours
of analysis
71
00:03:12,133 --> 00:03:14,173
electroshock treatments
and guess what?
72
00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:16,330
Turns out I'm bipolar.
73
00:03:16,660 --> 00:03:19,300
Bipolar? I knew
you had sugar in your
tank.
74
00:03:22,283 --> 00:03:24,183
Anyway, I-I-I came here
for a reason.
75
00:03:24,216 --> 00:03:27,826
My therapist said
that if I wanted to get my
life
76
00:03:27,116 --> 00:03:31,196
back on track
that I should apologize to
you.
77
00:03:31,233 --> 00:03:34,123
- I want to be friends.
- Let's be friends.
78
00:03:34,150 --> 00:03:35,250
[speaking in foreign language]
79
00:03:37,216 --> 00:03:39,156
Friends..
80
00:03:39,500 --> 00:03:41,130
Okay, sure, friends.
81
00:03:41,166 --> 00:03:42,216
- Really?
- 'Yeah.'
82
00:03:42,250 --> 00:03:44,500
Friends?
83
00:03:44,830 --> 00:03:45,230
Cool. He he.
84
00:03:45,266 --> 00:03:48,496
I never, uh,
really had any
friends.
85
00:03:49,233 --> 00:03:52,253
Maybe we could, um,
hangout sometime or something?
86
00:03:52,283 --> 00:03:55,163
Yeah, great. Whatever you want,
man, we'll hang out.
87
00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:57,250
- Cool. Ha ha ha.
- Alright, man.
88
00:03:57,283 --> 00:04:00,253
Now, I'm glad I
didn't douse you with
gasoline.
89
00:04:04,283 --> 00:04:07,133
- Yo! That dude is bugg.
- Yeah, I know.
90
00:04:07,166 --> 00:04:08,346
You're not serious about
hanging out with him, are you?
91
00:04:08,383 --> 00:04:10,323
Hell no.
I ain't hanging out with
him.
92
00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:12,250
Look, the trick to
dealing
with crazy people is
93
00:04:12,283 --> 00:04:15,833
to always agree with them.
That
way they'll leave you alone.
94
00:04:15,116 --> 00:04:17,826
Trust me. We'll never
see that dude again.
95
00:04:17,116 --> 00:04:18,296
Alright.
96
00:04:18,333 --> 00:04:20,833
Okay, I have another one.
97
00:04:20,116 --> 00:04:22,146
Knock knock.
98
00:04:22,183 --> 00:04:24,203
Go on, just say it.
Knock knock.
99
00:04:24,233 --> 00:04:26,233
Who there?
100
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:29,376
- Little old lady.
- Little old lady, who?
101
00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:31,170
Hey, I didn't know
you guys could yodel.
102
00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:34,320
[laughs]
Little olay-ee-oooo!
103
00:04:34,350 --> 00:04:35,350
You get it?
104
00:04:35,383 --> 00:04:38,173
[laughing]
105
00:04:47,166 --> 00:04:48,246
One more of them
corny jokes like that
106
00:04:48,283 --> 00:04:49,303
and I'mma knock knock you
107
00:04:49,333 --> 00:04:51,133
upside your head,
you understand me?
108
00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:53,296
You need to loosen
up.
Knock knock.
109
00:04:53,333 --> 00:04:55,353
- Hey, hey, hey, stop.
- Hold him, man, I'm..
110
00:04:55,383 --> 00:04:57,303
Hey, hey, Ted, man,
can you get from behind
me?
111
00:04:57,333 --> 00:04:59,323
It's getting
a little too
crowded.
112
00:04:59,350 --> 00:05:02,660
- I have to get going anyway.
- Great.
113
00:05:02,100 --> 00:05:04,180
- But I will see you
tonight.
- Tonight?
114
00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:05,366
Hey, since we're friends,
I figured
115
00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,660
we could hang out
to Madison Square Garden.
116
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:09,270
You got tickets
to the Knick
game?
117
00:05:09,300 --> 00:05:12,000
No, the Ice Capades!
118
00:05:12,330 --> 00:05:14,300
Brian Boitano
is doing a tribute to Ellen.
119
00:05:18,116 --> 00:05:19,316
Be there or be square.
120
00:05:19,350 --> 00:05:25,500
Oh, oh, see, I-I'd love to
but see mom, mom, my mama
died.
121
00:05:25,830 --> 00:05:26,200
What?
122
00:05:28,116 --> 00:05:29,196
Mama died?
123
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,180
Why!
124
00:05:51,660 --> 00:05:52,320
Gee, I'm, uh, I'm sorry.
125
00:05:52,350 --> 00:05:56,330
Yeah, so, we gotta
stay behind and..
126
00:05:56,660 --> 00:06:00,160
...and, and console our
father
in his time of grief.
127
00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:03,100
Yup-ti-dee!
Yup-ti-dee!
128
00:06:03,133 --> 00:06:05,353
Today's my lucky day, I
finally
got rid of that smelly beast
129
00:06:05,383 --> 00:06:08,203
that's been
hanging around my house.
130
00:06:08,233 --> 00:06:10,333
He doesn't seem very sad.
131
00:06:10,660 --> 00:06:12,270
Oh, well, he's just trying
to be strong for us, you
know.
132
00:06:12,300 --> 00:06:16,370
Well, pop, I guess we gotta
handle the funeral
arrangements.
133
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,660
Hold me!
134
00:06:19,250 --> 00:06:21,250
I already took
care
of them, son.
135
00:06:21,283 --> 00:06:23,333
I wrapped that stinker
in some butcher paper.
136
00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:28,830
Dumped her
right in the
dumpster.
137
00:06:28,116 --> 00:06:30,156
Pop, how can you do
something like that?
138
00:06:30,500 --> 00:06:32,200
Well, you know how she was
smelling when she was
alive.
139
00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:37,120
You can imagine how she smelled
when she started decomposin'
140
00:06:37,150 --> 00:06:39,320
she was funking up
the whole house. Whoo!
141
00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:47,380
Don't you ever talk
about my mama that way.
142
00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:49,280
Boy, I ain't
talking
about your mama.
143
00:06:49,316 --> 00:06:52,126
I'm talking about that rat
that died under my porch.
144
00:06:52,166 --> 00:06:55,126
- Oh.
- Did you just smack me?
145
00:06:55,166 --> 00:06:58,126
Wait till I get my belt, boy.
146
00:06:58,166 --> 00:06:59,296
You don't just smack me
upside my head
147
00:06:59,333 --> 00:07:02,333
like I'm some little rapper
or something like that.
148
00:07:02,660 --> 00:07:04,220
Talking about your mama.
I ain't talking about your
mama.
149
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:09,270
I see what's going on,
y-you,
you're trying to avoid me.
150
00:07:09,300 --> 00:07:11,000
Y-you don't wanna
hang out with me.
151
00:07:11,330 --> 00:07:12,330
- No. It ain't like--
- That's exactly right.
152
00:07:12,366 --> 00:07:15,126
Not only that, but
we don't like your corny jokes
153
00:07:15,166 --> 00:07:17,316
or your stupid personality,
either, duh.
154
00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:21,000
Shawn, is...is that true?
155
00:07:21,330 --> 00:07:22,130
Yes, that's right.
156
00:07:22,166 --> 00:07:23,316
To be honest with you
157
00:07:23,350 --> 00:07:27,660
he'd rather eat lunch
at Jeffrey Dahmer's house.
158
00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:32,330
I'd rather be Nell Carter's
bicycle seat on a hot day.
159
00:07:32,366 --> 00:07:35,116
He's rather be a sex slave
160
00:07:35,150 --> 00:07:37,150
to a whole entire prison.
161
00:07:43,383 --> 00:07:45,163
Oh..
162
00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:46,130
A woman's prison.
163
00:07:49,316 --> 00:07:52,326
I can take a hint.
164
00:07:52,660 --> 00:07:54,830
Just wanted to be your friend.
165
00:08:01,333 --> 00:08:03,173
(both)
Peace out.
166
00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:05,350
[instrumental music]
167
00:08:07,150 --> 00:08:10,500
- Hey.
- Hey, thanks, little
jacket.
168
00:08:15,216 --> 00:08:17,156
Damn.
169
00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:18,280
- Yo, man, look.
- What's up?
170
00:08:18,316 --> 00:08:20,216
I'm getting audited by the IRS.
171
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:22,000
Word?
172
00:08:22,330 --> 00:08:23,230
Ah, you ain't got nothing
to worry about, Shawn.
173
00:08:23,266 --> 00:08:25,276
Relax, your bills are in order.
174
00:08:25,316 --> 00:08:27,166
And if they're not in order,
there's always a way
175
00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:28,300
to get out of an audit.
176
00:08:28,333 --> 00:08:30,833
Do what I did.
177
00:08:30,116 --> 00:08:33,116
What'd you mean,
fake your death?
178
00:08:33,150 --> 00:08:35,300
No, you gotta act
like a crazy man.
179
00:08:35,333 --> 00:08:37,303
First of all, you fill out
your, your tax papers
180
00:08:37,333 --> 00:08:39,173
with purple crayons.
181
00:08:41,133 --> 00:08:43,103
I walked into that
auditor's office
182
00:08:43,133 --> 00:08:46,333
had all my receipts
in old sticking sock!
183
00:08:46,366 --> 00:08:49,276
Hat on my head made out
of tinfoil, looking like
this.
184
00:08:52,830 --> 00:08:54,300
How do you do?
Mighty fine. Thank you.
185
00:08:54,333 --> 00:08:56,323
That man looked at me,
now, get this crazy man
186
00:08:56,350 --> 00:08:58,330
the hell outta here!
187
00:08:58,366 --> 00:09:00,276
You know, your father's right.
188
00:09:00,316 --> 00:09:03,116
One time, an auditor
came to my house
189
00:09:03,150 --> 00:09:07,330
I opened the door in this
see-throughnegligee.
190
00:09:07,660 --> 00:09:09,100
That's the way
to scare 'em off, Dee.
191
00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:14,370
It was supposed to be a bribe.
192
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,320
Bribery, I never
thought about that.
193
00:09:16,350 --> 00:09:21,130
Shawn...now how dumb are you
gonna look in Dee'snegligee?
194
00:09:21,166 --> 00:09:23,156
Stupid!
195
00:09:24,133 --> 00:09:26,173
Look, why don't you
just do what I do?
196
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:28,250
If you don't want
to get audited for income tax
197
00:09:28,283 --> 00:09:30,103
don't make any income.
198
00:09:30,133 --> 00:09:31,183
That is stupid.
199
00:09:31,216 --> 00:09:33,276
Look, I-I don't got
nothing to worry about.
200
00:09:33,316 --> 00:09:36,146
I ain't gonna trip.
I got all my receipts.
201
00:09:36,183 --> 00:09:37,183
I'mma handle it.
202
00:09:37,216 --> 00:09:39,216
[instrumental music]
203
00:09:41,830 --> 00:09:43,320
Man, G,
I hope we get a cool auditor.
204
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:44,350
Yeah, I know.
205
00:09:44,383 --> 00:09:46,153
I hope it's a woman..
206
00:09:46,183 --> 00:09:47,383
...with a big old booty.
207
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:50,120
I mean, one
[indistinct]
just turn the corner.
208
00:09:50,150 --> 00:09:51,350
Just ass and knees.
209
00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:53,373
[laughs]
You're retarded, man.
210
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:55,000
For real.
211
00:09:59,350 --> 00:10:01,180
Hello, fellas.
212
00:10:01,216 --> 00:10:04,826
Ted, you're the auditor?
213
00:10:04,116 --> 00:10:05,146
That's right.
214
00:10:05,183 --> 00:10:07,353
Welcome to the IRS.
215
00:10:07,383 --> 00:10:09,233
It's payback time.
216
00:10:10,366 --> 00:10:13,146
[instrumental music]
217
00:10:20,300 --> 00:10:22,660
[machine whirring]
218
00:10:22,100 --> 00:10:26,160
Uh, uh, Ted, your
calculator's
starting to smoke, brah.
219
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:27,170
You might wanna slow down.
220
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:30,000
All I wanted todo
was be your friend
221
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:33,250
but, oh, no, you're toohip
to hang out with me.
222
00:10:33,283 --> 00:10:35,503
'All of this could've
been avoided'
223
00:10:35,830 --> 00:10:38,280
but instead, I had to
put you on my hit list.
224
00:10:38,316 --> 00:10:40,196
Hit list?
225
00:10:40,233 --> 00:10:42,383
So you're gonna
kill us too?
226
00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:45,100
Yeah, I thought about it.
227
00:10:45,133 --> 00:10:47,163
The moment I got this job,
I vowed to get back
228
00:10:47,500 --> 00:10:50,280
at everyone who ever did
anything rotten to me.
229
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:53,296
Well, what did your therapist
think about this?
230
00:10:53,333 --> 00:10:55,833
He's in tax-jail.
231
00:10:55,116 --> 00:10:58,116
I audited him this morning.
232
00:10:58,150 --> 00:10:59,300
Okay!
233
00:10:59,333 --> 00:11:03,223
That
you owe your Uncle Sam.
234
00:11:03,250 --> 00:11:07,370
Uh-ha! Ah, ah, ah.
235
00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:09,830
We got him, Shawn.
236
00:11:09,116 --> 00:11:10,266
We don't have
to pay him
nothing.
237
00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:12,220
- Yeah.
- We don't have an Uncle Sam.
238
00:11:12,250 --> 00:11:14,250
Only an Uncle Cletus.
239
00:11:19,333 --> 00:11:23,333
- $25,000?
- Ooh-hoo!
240
00:11:23,660 --> 00:11:26,160
Well, well, since he's our
uncle, don't we get a
discount?
241
00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:27,170
No!
242
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:29,230
$25,000, please?
243
00:11:29,266 --> 00:11:31,126
Yo, man,
I got all my receipts, man.
244
00:11:31,166 --> 00:11:32,316
How'd you come up
with this number?
245
00:11:32,350 --> 00:11:36,170
Oh, I went back seven years.
246
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:38,300
- Oh, shit.
- I don't have that kinda
money.
247
00:11:38,333 --> 00:11:41,503
Well, perhaps you should've
thought about that
248
00:11:41,830 --> 00:11:43,180
before youdissed
249
00:11:43,216 --> 00:11:45,366
Now, all I need to do is
type it into the system
250
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,330
and it'll be official.
251
00:11:47,660 --> 00:11:48,170
Hold on. Wait,
wait, wait,
wait!
252
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:50,370
Wait a minute,
Ted.
Hands down.
253
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,830
Now, let's see.
254
00:11:52,116 --> 00:11:53,346
'See, Ted, w-what,
you don't understand'
255
00:11:53,383 --> 00:11:55,333
about me and Marlon, man
256
00:11:55,660 --> 00:11:56,200
see, w-we like to play around.
257
00:11:56,233 --> 00:11:57,253
- Yeah, yeah.
- We're crazy.
258
00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:58,373
- Oh, man!
- We're comedians.
259
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:01,120
W-we was cracking
on each other..
260
00:12:01,150 --> 00:12:02,170
Watch this.
261
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,160
- Shawn..
- What?
262
00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:07,160
Your mama's so greedy, she
bit
off one of her father's toes
263
00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:08,220
just because they
had
a corn on it.
264
00:12:08,250 --> 00:12:10,120
[laughing]
265
00:12:10,150 --> 00:12:11,270
(Shawn)
'A corn on it!'
266
00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:14,500
Well, what I think
about your mama, um, uh..
267
00:12:14,830 --> 00:12:16,500
About how your mama's
hair's so nappy
268
00:12:16,830 --> 00:12:17,230
that when she try
and comb her hair
269
00:12:17,266 --> 00:12:19,146
it sound like
a pack of firecrackers.
270
00:12:19,183 --> 00:12:21,223
- Ha ha.
- Pak, pak, pak!
271
00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:24,320
I have a good one, uh,
you guys are so stupid
272
00:12:24,350 --> 00:12:26,150
you're makin' mama jokes
273
00:12:26,183 --> 00:12:28,223
even though you both
got the samemama!
274
00:12:28,250 --> 00:12:31,120
[laughing]
275
00:12:31,150 --> 00:12:33,100
He got it!
He got what we're doing.
276
00:12:33,133 --> 00:12:34,323
The same mama!
277
00:12:34,350 --> 00:12:37,350
You're witty, witty-whitey,
that's what we'll call you.
278
00:12:37,383 --> 00:12:39,273
You're funnier than Seinfeld.
279
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:43,220
Now, we just gotta get here
and press delete real fast.
280
00:12:43,250 --> 00:12:46,500
No, no. Let's press save.
281
00:12:46,830 --> 00:12:48,150
I don't see why
I should party with you guys.
282
00:12:48,183 --> 00:12:50,103
You didn't wanna hang out
with me before.
283
00:12:50,133 --> 00:12:51,333
- Well..
- Oh, come on, Ted, man.
284
00:12:51,366 --> 00:12:54,146
- Just give us anotherchance.
- 'Come on, Ted.'
285
00:12:54,183 --> 00:12:56,833
Hey, look,
if you don't audit
us
286
00:12:56,116 --> 00:12:59,116
we'll do anything you want, huh?
287
00:12:59,150 --> 00:13:01,330
Will you hang out with me?
288
00:13:01,366 --> 00:13:04,296
And do whatever I want?
289
00:13:04,333 --> 00:13:06,003
Wow.
290
00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:09,130
Yeah. Whatever you want.
291
00:13:09,166 --> 00:13:12,326
[instrumental music]
292
00:13:21,250 --> 00:13:22,380
I can't believe
this guy had me
busting
293
00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:25,350
the blackheads
on his back.
294
00:13:25,383 --> 00:13:28,203
I don't know how long, how much
longer I can do this, man.
295
00:13:28,233 --> 00:13:31,323
Hey, look,
it's either this or
$25,000.
296
00:13:31,350 --> 00:13:34,660
Alright, so let's
make
the best of it.
297
00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:36,270
Talk to a couple of
little
honey dips up in
here.
298
00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:41,130
Look at that one,
right over there.
299
00:13:41,166 --> 00:13:43,376
- Ha ha!
- Yeah. Thanks, kid.
300
00:13:47,266 --> 00:13:50,266
Hey, girl,
where are they?
301
00:13:50,300 --> 00:13:52,100
[chuckles]
Where's what?
302
00:13:52,133 --> 00:13:53,153
Your wings?
303
00:13:53,183 --> 00:13:55,333
I know an angel
when I see one.
304
00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:56,280
[chuckles]
305
00:13:57,216 --> 00:13:58,226
That's good.
306
00:13:58,266 --> 00:14:00,346
So you here by yourself?
307
00:14:00,383 --> 00:14:02,333
Not anymore.
308
00:14:02,660 --> 00:14:04,120
- Word. You want a drink?
- Mm.
309
00:14:04,150 --> 00:14:06,160
Hey, yo, my man..
310
00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:08,330
Hey, Shawn, uh, is this the
hoe
you were telling me about?
311
00:14:10,366 --> 00:14:11,996
Hoe?
312
00:14:17,266 --> 00:14:20,496
[laughing]
313
00:14:20,830 --> 00:14:21,150
Yo, man,
why'd you do
that?
314
00:14:21,183 --> 00:14:23,173
Well, I-I-I got
something better lined up.
315
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:24,350
Hey..
316
00:14:24,383 --> 00:14:27,373
These are the two guys
I was telling you about,
girls.
317
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,320
Go ahead, get your groove on.
318
00:14:29,350 --> 00:14:32,150
[instrumental music]
319
00:14:37,300 --> 00:14:40,660
Hey, this ain't
so bad, Shawn.
320
00:14:40,100 --> 00:14:42,100
No, no, no, no,
not that dance!
321
00:14:42,133 --> 00:14:44,133
Y-you know the one I like.
322
00:14:58,333 --> 00:15:01,123
[music continues]
323
00:15:04,660 --> 00:15:06,120
Yo, man, this white boy
dance
is tiring, yo.
324
00:15:06,150 --> 00:15:09,000
Yeah, now I know
why they're always offbeat.
325
00:15:11,233 --> 00:15:12,253
Oh, ho-ho. Wow!
326
00:15:12,283 --> 00:15:13,383
I did not think getting back
327
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:16,160
at you guys would be this fun.
328
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:19,660
I'm just sorry you're
the last two names on my
list.
329
00:15:19,100 --> 00:15:21,120
- What's that?
- This is, uh..
330
00:15:21,150 --> 00:15:23,330
Oh, it's just, uh,
names of all the people
331
00:15:23,660 --> 00:15:25,130
I wanted to get even with.
332
00:15:25,166 --> 00:15:26,996
[chuckles]
333
00:15:27,330 --> 00:15:28,270
Well, that's
great,
let's call it a
night.
334
00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:31,330
- See ya.
- Ah, not so fast.
335
00:15:31,660 --> 00:15:32,150
The night is young.
336
00:15:32,183 --> 00:15:34,223
What about that song
we talked about?
337
00:15:34,250 --> 00:15:36,330
- Oh, come on, Ted.
- Yo, stop, yo.
338
00:15:36,366 --> 00:15:37,366
Come on, man,
you had us
already
339
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,130
singing in the cab.
340
00:15:39,166 --> 00:15:42,326
But not...in costume.
341
00:15:42,660 --> 00:15:44,200
[crowd cheering]
342
00:15:53,366 --> 00:15:55,316
[Village Peoplesinging "YMCA"]
343
00:15:55,350 --> 00:15:59,250
♪ It's fun
to stay at the YMCA ♪
344
00:15:59,283 --> 00:16:04,223
♪ It's fun
to stay at the YMCA ♪
345
00:16:04,250 --> 00:16:08,200
♪ They have everything
for you men to enjoy ♪
346
00:16:08,233 --> 00:16:11,163
♪ You can hang out
with all the boys ♪
347
00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:14,320
♪ It's fun
to stay at the YMCA ♪
348
00:16:14,350 --> 00:16:19,200
♪ It's fun
to stay at the YMCA ♪
349
00:16:19,233 --> 00:16:23,203
♪ You can get yourself cleaned
you can have a good meal ♪
350
00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:27,223
♪ You can do
whatever you feel ♪
351
00:16:27,250 --> 00:16:30,230
♪ Young man are you
listening to me ♪
352
00:16:30,266 --> 00:16:34,166
♪ I said young man
what do you want to be ♪
353
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:38,100
♪ I said young man you can
make real your dreams ♪
354
00:16:38,133 --> 00:16:42,373
♪ But you got to know
this one thing ♪
355
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,380
♪ No man
does it all by himself ♪
356
00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:49,330
♪ I said young man
put your pride on the shelf ♪
357
00:16:49,366 --> 00:16:53,176
♪ And just go there
to the YMCA ♪
358
00:16:53,216 --> 00:16:56,156
♪ I'm sure they can help.. ♪♪
359
00:16:59,660 --> 00:17:00,200
Did Ted make you
wear that stuff?
360
00:17:00,233 --> 00:17:02,183
The next thing you'd know
you'll be dancing
361
00:17:02,216 --> 00:17:06,376
and singing some disco songs
in some sleazy karaoke bar.
362
00:17:07,316 --> 00:17:09,376
[Marlon laughing]
363
00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:16,183
Oh, no, no. Not us, Dee.
364
00:17:16,216 --> 00:17:18,176
W-w-we got our dignity.
365
00:17:18,216 --> 00:17:19,316
Hey, look, Dee,
the only reason
366
00:17:19,350 --> 00:17:21,180
why I'm doing this
is to avoid our audit.
367
00:17:21,216 --> 00:17:25,826
Oh, well, what's worse, an
audit
or loosing your self-respect?
368
00:17:25,116 --> 00:17:26,346
Losing my newsstand.
369
00:17:26,383 --> 00:17:29,283
Ah, well, son, every great man
has had to face
370
00:17:29,316 --> 00:17:32,116
a moment of truth,
I think, this is yours.
371
00:17:32,150 --> 00:17:34,120
Yeah, Shawn, I gotta
tell you the truth.
372
00:17:34,150 --> 00:17:36,120
I don't know how much longer
I can do this, man.
373
00:17:36,150 --> 00:17:37,330
I feel you, Marlon, man.
374
00:17:37,366 --> 00:17:39,116
I don't know,
you know, it's weird
375
00:17:39,150 --> 00:17:40,280
I don't think
this dude is ever gonna get
376
00:17:40,316 --> 00:17:42,126
tired of punkin' us.
377
00:17:42,166 --> 00:17:44,166
I think, it's time for me
to stand up to him.
378
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:46,200
Come on, Shawn,
are you ready?
379
00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:47,383
Yeah, he's ready.
380
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:50,660
Go ahead, Shawn,
tell him.
381
00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:53,120
Hey, yo, look, Ted,
we need to talk, man.
382
00:17:53,150 --> 00:17:55,330
Now, I know, you got the power
to ruin me financially.
383
00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:58,166
- For life.
- For life.
384
00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:00,500
Fine, for life,
but you know what?
385
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:01,300
Nothing you could do to me
could be worse
386
00:18:01,333 --> 00:18:04,003
than what you did
these past couple of days.
387
00:18:05,660 --> 00:18:07,130
- I had enough.
- Alright.
388
00:18:07,166 --> 00:18:09,126
If that's the way
you feel, Shawn.
389
00:18:09,166 --> 00:18:13,146
Uh...be down in my
office
tomorrow at 11 a.m.
390
00:18:13,183 --> 00:18:16,333
and bring the old man.
391
00:18:16,660 --> 00:18:20,330
- He's going down too.
- Me?
392
00:18:20,660 --> 00:18:21,220
Me?
393
00:18:21,250 --> 00:18:22,320
Me!
394
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,130
Oh, lordy lord!
395
00:18:26,166 --> 00:18:28,326
Help me, somebody. Please, help
me, please, help me, help me.
396
00:18:28,366 --> 00:18:31,116
[instrumental music]
397
00:18:31,150 --> 00:18:33,120
Boys, I don't have the
receipts
to back up the lies
398
00:18:33,150 --> 00:18:36,000
I put on my tax form.
399
00:18:36,330 --> 00:18:38,330
Thank God I got this.
400
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:49,500
Pop, you're like
the ghetto tin man.
401
00:18:49,830 --> 00:18:50,220
Listen, that's not
gonna work, man.
402
00:18:50,250 --> 00:18:52,250
This guy's got it in for us.
403
00:18:56,266 --> 00:19:01,126
Here they are, Mr. Keeler,
the Williams clan.
404
00:19:01,166 --> 00:19:03,166
Sign right here.
405
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:04,250
Here.
406
00:19:04,283 --> 00:19:07,303
Start the whole
collection
process.
407
00:19:07,333 --> 00:19:10,833
[brushing]
408
00:19:19,183 --> 00:19:20,333
Except for him.
409
00:19:20,366 --> 00:19:23,996
Get this crazy man,
the hell out of this office.
410
00:19:34,383 --> 00:19:38,103
Wow! $25,000!
411
00:19:38,133 --> 00:19:40,183
Now, now, wait a
minute,
Mr. Keeler.
412
00:19:40,216 --> 00:19:43,176
We were unfairly
targeted
by Ted over here.
413
00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:46,226
That's right. All because
I got him fired last year.
414
00:19:46,266 --> 00:19:48,276
- Is that true?
- Yeah, it's true.
415
00:19:48,316 --> 00:19:50,176
He even carries
around
a little list
416
00:19:50,216 --> 00:19:52,126
of people
he's gonna get back
at.
417
00:19:52,166 --> 00:19:55,326
That is ridiculous,
yo-you can't prove any of
that.
418
00:19:55,366 --> 00:19:57,826
Oh, yeah? Bam!
419
00:19:57,116 --> 00:19:58,176
What's that?
420
00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:03,003
'I found it in the dumpster
behind the pool hall.'
421
00:20:03,330 --> 00:20:05,170
You must have fished
through that garbage for
hours.
422
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:06,380
That's right, baby.
423
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:08,230
Never underestimate how low
424
00:20:08,266 --> 00:20:11,656
a Williams would
go
to save his butt.
425
00:20:11,100 --> 00:20:13,320
- Pretty smart, stupid.
- Thanks, jackass.
426
00:20:15,300 --> 00:20:17,330
Now let's see
who we got on this
list.
427
00:20:17,366 --> 00:20:21,196
Oh, his mom, his scout master
428
00:20:21,233 --> 00:20:26,503
his bald-headed
boss,
Mr. Keeler.
429
00:20:26,830 --> 00:20:29,830
You're the one who initiated
that audit on me last summer?
430
00:20:29,116 --> 00:20:30,376
I had seniority
for that corner
office
431
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:32,120
and you gave it to Brad.
432
00:20:32,150 --> 00:20:34,320
I've seen enough.
433
00:20:34,350 --> 00:20:36,170
You're fired!
434
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:39,330
Get out of here! Go!
435
00:20:41,333 --> 00:20:43,373
I will get you
for this, Williams.
436
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,120
If it's the last thing
I ever do.
437
00:20:49,150 --> 00:20:53,230
On behalf of the IRS,
I'm terribly, terribly sorry
438
00:20:53,266 --> 00:20:55,266
for all the trouble
Ted has put you through.
439
00:20:55,300 --> 00:20:57,830
That's
alright.
Put it
there.
440
00:20:57,116 --> 00:21:00,266
Give me some love,
baby.
Give me some love.
441
00:21:05,100 --> 00:21:06,300
[exhales sharply]
442
00:21:06,333 --> 00:21:08,203
(Shawn)
'You know what?'
443
00:21:08,233 --> 00:21:10,303
I'm not sure
that I'm alright with this.
444
00:21:10,333 --> 00:21:12,303
You know what?
I think we should sue.
445
00:21:12,333 --> 00:21:14,283
We should sue you guys
fo-for all the pain
446
00:21:14,316 --> 00:21:16,116
and suffering you caused us.
447
00:21:16,150 --> 00:21:18,150
Well, of course, we could always
448
00:21:18,183 --> 00:21:21,273
reassign someone
new to the audit.
449
00:21:21,300 --> 00:21:24,500
You know,
I'm feelin' better already.
450
00:21:24,830 --> 00:21:25,150
Phew! It's a new day.
Come on, let's bounce.
451
00:21:25,183 --> 00:21:26,253
Alright.
452
00:21:30,300 --> 00:21:32,120
Say, Shawn,
you didn't let that
Ted
453
00:21:32,150 --> 00:21:34,130
push you around
and you made out just
fine.
454
00:21:34,166 --> 00:21:38,326
I know. Trust me, Dee, I won't
be makin' anymore enemies.
455
00:21:38,660 --> 00:21:40,230
Hey, I kind of feel sorry
for old Ted.
456
00:21:40,266 --> 00:21:42,326
I mean, first he got sent
to the crazy house
457
00:21:42,660 --> 00:21:43,270
now he's gettin' fired
from another job.
458
00:21:43,300 --> 00:21:45,100
Yeah, I know.
459
00:21:45,133 --> 00:21:48,663
I wonder who's gonna
hire him now.
460
00:21:48,100 --> 00:21:51,500
Package for Mr. Williams.
461
00:21:51,830 --> 00:21:54,280
I'm b-a-a-ack!
462
00:21:54,316 --> 00:21:56,326
[screaming]
463
00:22:01,250 --> 00:22:03,350
[pop music]
464
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:20,830
Yo, man, this white boy dance
is tiring yo!
465
00:22:20,116 --> 00:22:23,176
Yeah. Now I know why they're
always offbeat.
466
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:27,330
(Shawn)Look up, Marlon.Say cheese.
34118
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