Original subtitles

- Pop, guess what? - What?

En Vogue is in this building.

Are you kidding? En Vogue in this building?

- Yes. - Yeah.

- Who's En Vogue? - Pops, you know En Vogue.

They're like the hottest singing group in the country.

EV3? You know, never gonna..

Never gonna get it. Never gonna..

I can't sing it, but you know, the Funky Divas.

Funky like Earth, Wind & Fire, or funky like your grandmother?

Pop, En Vogue is fine.

- They alright. - What?

Look, when they come back down, I'mma get their autograph.

Well, since they're that famous maybe I'll get a picture

to put it on my wall of fame.

Thank you very much. Thank you kindly.

I can put 'em up right up here

with Muhammad Ali slash Cassius Clay

if you want to still use that name.

Reverend Jesse Jackson and my good friend David Letterman.

They all love to come and eat at Pop's Diner.

Pop, they ain't never eat here.

They came here to use the men's room.

And you wouldn't give 'em any toilet paper

unless they took a picture with you.

[chuckles]

Hey, speaking of which, pop

can I use your camera to take a picture with En Vogue?

- Sure, son, anything for you. - Ah, thank you.

Five dollars.

Hey, look, Marlon, I know how much you love En Vogue

but I think you should give those girls their space.

I mean, how would you like if someone was in your face

with a camera 24 hours a day?

- Shawn, they're back. - Gimme that.

[screaming]

Get back here with my camera.

Get back here.

[indistinct screaming]

[theme song]

♪ We're brothers ♪

♪ We're happy and we're singin' and we're colored ♪

♪ Give me a high five ♪♪

(male #1) 'Alright, cut and print. Beautiful, guys. Dynamite.'

[hip-hop music]

[music continues]

- Over here. Look. Over here. - Aah! Aah! Aah!

- Hey, how're you doing, ladies? - Ow!

Maxine, Cindy, uh, Terry and Maxine and..

And, uh, one of the Hughes brothers.

Hey, how you doin'?

Uh, I'm your, uh, number one fan.

I'm the one who sent you all those, uh, letters about..

...the underwear.

Well, we get request for our stuff all the time.

No, I didn't want your underwear.

I want the underwear I sent you back.

I'm running a little bit low, you know?

Yeah, he can only do the inside-out thing for so long.

Shh!

So, uh, w-what brings you all here?

Oh, we're scouting locations for our new video.

- Oh! - Back off! Back off!

- Hey! - Back off!

I'm Dee Baxter, head of security here.

Would you like me to tase 'em?

I-I don't think that will be necessary.

Oh! Just say the word and he'll be shaking

and foaming at the mouth in no time.

No, no. Thanks anyway.

Oh, I heard y'all looking for a fourth member.

I want you to know that I sing and I do a mean running man.

Alright.

Look more like the elephant man.

I'm Pops from Pop's Fine Dining and Cuisine

home of the rolled eggs milk shake.

Um, anyone of you beautiful ladies like to use the bathroom?

- Eww! - Hey, brother, hey..

I'll be back. Hey, Roger King over here.

Roger King. Roger King.

Ladies, ladies, ladies, before you leave

can I, can I, can I bother you to, uh

to please take a-a-a picture with me

with each one of you?

Well, well, yeah, but look, we, let's just do it all at once.

- Come on. - Okay, that's cool with me.

Alright, let me get in the middle.

Hey, uh, Phat Beach, move off the shot.

Hold on, that's my G-spot, girl.

One, two, three. Show me love.

[camera shutter clicks]

[indistinct screaming]

Get him. Get him. Get him.

- Get him. - Oh, God.

Oh, God! Wait, don't solemnize me.

Marl, what the hell is wrong with you?

I don't know.

I gonna get these pictures developed

and I'm gonna find me a place where I could be alone.

[chuckles]

[camera shutter clicks]

[instrumental music]

Hey, what does it say about capicola, Dee?

Mmm, dry, you know, fabulous--

Shawn, I got them.

I got the pictures of En Vogue.

- Lemme see. Lemme see. - Yeah. Ha ha.

- Whoa! - Wait, hold on a second.

These ain't them.

Pop, what you doing just in the cowboy outfit?

It was Halloween.

And why does ma got a saddle on her back?

[laughs]

That ain't no saddle. Her girdle's riding up.

Have you never seen a leather girl?

Gimme these. You know too much already. Here.

Oh, here, look at that.

Ah, I see some tongue.

- Aaa-a-aah. - Aa-a-ah.

Oh, I don't know about that.

'It look like you getting busy with all those girls.'

Wow. This look like one of the pictures

you see in the tabloids.

Yo, Dee...how much you think

the tabloids will pay for something like this?

I don't know. I hear for a right picture they pay up to $100,000.

- What? - Mm-hmm.

A hundred thousand of them things?

- Mm-hmm. - Man.

That kind of money, we have more money than Hammer.

We got more money than Hammer now.

[instrumental music]

You sure this is cool?

This magazine is so sleazy.

Here, read this.

Oh, my God. "Michael Jackson's pregnant with Prince's baby."

What?

"Rick James kicks drug habit

then kicks white lady."

"Cable man comes to cut off OJ's TV

and OJ cuts off his head."

Sick, man.

I don't know about this, man. Come on, let's get outta here.

I don't wanna do this to En Vogue, Shawn.

Wait, wait, Marl, we're not doing anything.

We're not doing anything to hurt them.

All we're doing is giving them some publicity.

And any publicity is good publicity.

- Are you sure? - I'm positive.

Fellas, come on in.

- Hey, what's up, leprechaun? - Ha ha ha.

How you doing, Mr. Rizzo?

I'm Shawn Williams. This is my little brother, Marlon Williams.

How are you? Nice to meet you.

What's up, baby, you alright? Taking easy? Good to see you.

Thanks for seeing us, um, hey, we love your pictures, man.

Yeah, well, thank you, uh..

This is the only one that's important.

Oh, wow, look, Shawn.

He knows one of the flying monkeys from "The Wiz."

That's my wife.

Oh, uh, huh, ha ha, nice Afro.

Yeah, you don't wanna get on her bad side. Hoo-hoo.

Looks like both sides are the bad side..

Hey, I know she's not, uh, the greatest thing to look at

but her family owns the paper.

Haa! Tap that ass, get that cash.

So, now, business, uh, what have you got for me?

(Marlon) Bam!

We got this picture of me

[sniffles] with the En Vogue.

Oh, w-w-wait a minute. They're dressed.

- What good is it? - This is kooky.

This is the craziest thing you're ever gon..

- Wow! - Alright, so, um..

We work at this place called the Neidermeyer Building, right?

Anyway, um, so these girls come inside the building

to see their manager or something, right?

Booties like ba!

And, uh, you know, this, my little brother..

- That's me. - Guys, guys, guys..

- 'What?' - Boring.

So, there's no story.

Gentlemen, look at where you are.

(Rizzo) 'This is the national informer.'

We don't want crushes.

We want stories...with heat.

Hmm!

I've been offered photos of Frank Gifford

Marv Albert and Martha Stewart

in a threesome. Yeah?

- What? - Yeah. Ha ha.

Hey, when you get those get me a copy.

First on my list.

So, what do I need with this?

This is worthless.

Well, can't you run this in the back

over by the horoscope section?

Um, no.

Well, what kinda stories do you want, man?

Uh, you know, uh, human interest stories.

Uh, for instance, um..

Suppose they locked you up in the basement

and used you as their boy toy, you know.

You know, something inspirational.

They didn't do anything like that.

All I did was ask them for a picture

and when I did, they started acting all rough.

You like the rough stuff, huh?

[chuckles] Hey, well, we all like it a little rough.

I'm pretty sure the flying monkey like it rough too.

I asked them, you know, I want to take it one at a time.

But, you know, they wanted to take it all together.

They wanted to take it together?

- Yeah. - Uh-huh. Huh.

Uh, well, so, uh, maybe I can work with this.

Um...how much for the picture?

[both laughs]

- How much for the picture? - How much for the picture?

A hundred thousand dollars.

Thousand dollars.

I'll give you $500 and a coffee mug.

[laughs]

Five hundred dollars and a coffee mug.

Tell him, Marl.

- Two coffee mugs. - Deal.

'Just sign the release.'

Here, Shawn, sign up there.

[instrumental music]

(Pops) "The girls liked it rough.

"I wanted to do it one at a time

but they forced me to do it in a group."

Oh, Lordy Lord.

This is steamy. I mean..

"After they took turns having their way with me

"they threw me back in a windowless room

and locked the door."

Wow, that's romantic.

Why doesn't stuff like that ever happen to me?

Dee, you don't want it too.

It was awful.

Marlon, how did you survive?

I don't remember.

What's it say?

It says, "Sometime they'd locked me in a drawer

"under the bed for days.

"If it wasn't for that edible panty drawers

I would have starved to death."

Yeah. Rum raisin was my favorite.

Come on, Marlon, you know none of that stuff ever happened.

That dude Rizzo twisted our words.

Yeah, I know. He's making me out to be some kind of freak.

Pretty cool, huh?

Alright, look, just like you said Shawn

"Any publicity is good publicity."

I don't know about all that now.

Oh, don't worry about it.

Nobody believe in that mess anyway.

(Shawn) 'Exactly.'

Excuse me..

...but you're En Vogue's love slave right?

Yeah, he's the one. Uh-huh.

- Can I ask you something? - Yeah.

How do you have so much stamina

with all those women?

Well, let's just say, I'm happy the fourth one

dropped out the group.

Three is company, four is just plain ol' greedy.

You want to be number five?

Well, in that case, here's my card.

Alright.

Damn, she was all on you.

- Did you see that? - Yeah.

She was drooling over me like Ellen at a WNBA game.

Ooh!

Marlon Williams?

Uh, that would be me.

Where would you like me to sign?

Mr. Williams, I have a subpoena for you.

Subpoena?

Whoa. Whoa. I don't swing that way, brother.

Alright.

Marlon, this ain't no joke, man.

En Vogue is suing you for 25 million dollars.

[gasps]

[instrumental music]

En Vogue is suing me for 25 million dollars?

Do you know how many millions that is?

Can I have my five dollars now, Mr. Don Von Cornelius?

Pops, this ain't funny, man. Stop joking.

We gotta do something.

Yeah, and this is half your fault.

Gimme 12 and a half million dollars.

- Man, get outta here. - Marlon, come on now.

We can't lose our heads.

If you continue to work at the newsstand

you could work part-time for Pops

make a few deposits at the fertility clinic..

You can probably pay it off in a 1000 years.

Oh, man.

Why do they wanna sue me, Shawn?

I can sum it up in three words.

"By Marlon Williams."

Oh, God, man.

Now I'm gonna be ruined.

And I'll be bankrupt for the rest of my life.

What's the big deal, you'll probably be bankrupt

the rest of your life anyway.

There he is. That's him.

Hey, what's goin' on here?

Hey.

We're here with the boy toy Marlon Williams.

Marlon, how do you feel about the lawsuit?

Hey, peace out. Look, I got my rights, okay?

(female #1) 'Look, look, what about--'

Hi, mom, I love you, okay?

You the man, you the man, ma.

What was it like in that love dungeon?

And what about the rumor that you sent En Vogue

obscene pictures of yourself.

Hey, hey, hey, that's a lie.

It was Salt-N-Pepa. Girls, page me.

Shut up for a minute.

He has no comment. Now, peace out.

Get out of here, paparazzi

before I call George Clooney on ya'll.

Back off, back off, love slave coming through.

- I mean, victim, victim. - Shawn, what do I do, man?

Okay, you go back to the apartment and hide

and I'mma go talk to Mr. Rizzo

and try and straighten this whole thing out.

- Alright? - Okay. Alright.

Oh, I'm Dee Baxter, head of security here.

I've known these boys since they were babies.

Dee, bring your ass!

And I'm Pops, from Pop's Fine Dining.

You can interview me about my Today's Special.

I have, uh, uh, hog maws, hog maws

uh,pate

and all the crackers you can eat.

[instrumental music]

[telephone ringing]

[banging on door]

What is wrong with you people?

Peace out!

Haven't you got any decency, you pervert?

[telephone ringing]

I said leave me alone. Hey, hey..

Ow! Ow!

Man, these people got the whole building surrounded.

So what happened with The National Informer?

Is Rizzo gonna retract his statement?

Hell, no.

As a matter of fact

since you signed that release

he can print whatever he wants.

Man, what am I gonna do, Shawn?

Alright, just relax, just chill.

Now, I happen to know that En Vogue's staying at The Plaza.

Why don't we go down to The Plaza

explain this whole big mess to them

and maybe they'll drop the suit.

[sighs] Alright.

What if that don't work?

You better get them coffee mugs ready..

...'cause you'll be begging for change.

[imitates beggar] Help a brother out.

Help a brother out. Please, help a brother out.

Help a brother out.

Spare some change.

Look a brother up.

Oh, no, damn, please, someone get off some money.

Help a brother out.

Or the lazy bums, who don't wanna even ask.

[imitating] Blah, blah, blah, change.

Blah, blah, blah, change.

♪ Too gone too long ♪

♪ Too gone too long ♪

♪ Back in my arms ♪

♪ Too gone too long ♪

♪ Too gone too long ♪♪

[telephone rings]

[knock on door]

(Terry) 'Hello? Hi, mom.'

[speaking in foreign language]

Oh, who sent them?

"From your number one fan."

- So sweet. -Ola, amigas.

Oh, no, it's them again. Bruno.

Bruno, don't touch me, don't touch me.

Get off me, Bruno. Get off me, get off me.

[whimpers] Get off me, Bruno.

Hey, yo, my man, that's my little brother.

And?

And I just wanted to tell you

that's my little brother.

Hey, look, guys, we just came here to apologize, man.

- This is just one big mistake. - Yeah.

Come on, honestly, we love you.

Well, if you love us then why'd you tell

all those lies about us?

I've been talking to my mom

and she thought I was some kind of pervert.

Yeah, and that stupid little story of yours has been..

Eh, eh, eh!

Hey, you hit me again, we gonna scrap. You ain't Bruno.

We-we didn't sell no story to The National Informer.

That dude took and twisted our words

and then when we tried to get a retraction from him

he said, "Never gonna get it, never gonna get it."

Look, if I had known the guy was gonna lie

I wouldn't have given him the picture.

- For real. - Yeah.

Yeah, well, the tabloids

have been doggin' us for years

and you just helped them.

Alright, I'm sorry, okay?

Fine, sue me. Okay?

Just treat me like the lyin', cheatin'..

Low-life?

Hey, slow up, sister.

I was gettin' there.

Come on, y'all can't sue him.

You can't sue him for 25 million.

He can't even pay the rent.

Besides, he's never gonna be worth anything.

Damn right.

Look, I swear, guys.

We never meant for any of this to happen.

Look, if we could take it all back, we would.

I'm sorry.

Alright, Bruno, come on, throw me out.

Ho-hold on a sec.

What do you think, girls?

(Cindy) Well, they seem sincere.

And I guess they went through a lot of trouble coming up here.

[sighs]

Alright, we'll tear up the lawsuit.

- Oh! - Aha! Thank you.

Thank you. My, my bad.

Not so fast.

First, you have to pay the money you made...to charity.

And one more thing.

- We want a public apology. - What?

And there'll be a film crew at our video shoot.

You could do it then.

- What? A public apology? - 'Yeah.'

[chuckles] No problem.

[instrumental music]

Hi, peoples, and thank you for tuning in to EV3's latest video.

Before I introduce En Vogue, my little bother Marlon

would like to say something.

Yeah, I'd just like to say

Salt-N-Pepa, if you're out there, girls, call me, page me.

- 1-800, push it. - Boy!

Alright, alright, I just wanted to apologize to En Vogue

for that nasty article in the tabloids.

None of it was true.

I'm not their love slave.

I'm Salt-N-Pepa's. So, girls, call me.

"Let's Talk About Sex," baby. ...brother.

Call me, I can show you some real cuts and scratches.

And now, without further ado, ladies and gentlemen

put your hands together for En Vogue.

Singing "Let it Flow."

Bring it on!

[instrumental music]

♪ Yeah yeah yeah yeah ♪

♪ Another wave has arrived ♪

♪ Being funk is no surprise ♪

♪ After the wealth of ecstasy ♪

♪ When the funk takes over me ♪

♪ No need to try to run away ♪

♪ The funk will find you without no delay ♪

♪ It's best if you relax your soul ♪

♪ Grab someone take the floor let it go ♪

♪ Let it flow let it flow ♪

♪ Let it flow ♪ ♪ What'd you say ♪

♪ Let it flow let it flow let it flow ♪

♪ In your heart and in your veins ♪

♪ Let it flow let it flow ♪♪

(Shawn) 'Okay.'

Hold on, that's my G-spot, girl.

Okay. One, two, three. Show me love.

[screaming]

- Get off. Get off. Get off. - Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

(Shawn) Look up, Marlon, say "Cheese."