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1
00:00:01,233 --> 00:00:02,383
Hey, kid. What's up?
2
00:00:03,160 --> 00:00:04,120
Is everything at the apartment
set for Pop's birthday party?
3
00:00:04,150 --> 00:00:05,280
- Oh, yeah, baby boy.
- Alright.
4
00:00:05,316 --> 00:00:07,496
Me and Grandma
are going to the apartment
5
00:00:07,830 --> 00:00:09,000
puttin' up the decorations
this afternoon.
6
00:00:09,330 --> 00:00:10,220
And once you and Dupree
pick up the gift
7
00:00:10,250 --> 00:00:12,180
and the cake,
we should be straight.
8
00:00:12,216 --> 00:00:14,216
Cake, man. What kinda
cake y'all gonna get him?
9
00:00:14,250 --> 00:00:17,150
Triple layer, chocolate chip
10
00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:19,153
with raspberry filling.
11
00:00:20,216 --> 00:00:22,296
- Can I lick the box?
- Hell no.
12
00:00:22,333 --> 00:00:24,173
Marlon, you make sure
you carry it.
13
00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:26,300
- Almost there, baby.
- Alright.
14
00:00:27,333 --> 00:00:29,353
So, what you guys got him?
15
00:00:29,383 --> 00:00:34,123
We got him the best gift
any kid could give their pops.
16
00:00:34,150 --> 00:00:35,180
[gasping]
17
00:00:35,216 --> 00:00:38,266
Ooh! "A Rolex
with Swiss precision
18
00:00:38,300 --> 00:00:42,330
fourteen carat gold band
and diamond face?"
19
00:00:42,660 --> 00:00:45,170
Hell no. You're readin'
the wrong page, girl.
20
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:49,120
The Brolex,
with the CPT precision..
21
00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:51,300
...guaranteed to keep
you five minutes late.
22
00:00:51,333 --> 00:00:53,833
I guess, it's the thought
that counts.
23
00:00:53,116 --> 00:00:54,116
(Marlon)
'Mm-hmm.'
24
00:00:54,150 --> 00:00:55,200
Hey, man.
25
00:00:55,233 --> 00:00:57,383
Why we gettin'
him a cheap watch?
26
00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:00,130
Well, maybe 'cause you
only chipped in three
dollars.
27
00:01:00,166 --> 00:01:03,126
Shoot. You should have
caught me before Tyson fight.
28
00:01:03,166 --> 00:01:06,176
[imitating Tyson]
Huh, you're that's pretty
funny.
29
00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:10,120
Hey, kid,
can you picture Pop's reaction
30
00:01:10,150 --> 00:01:12,120
if we got him
a real Rolex?
31
00:01:12,150 --> 00:01:17,000
[imitating Pops]
Oh, boy! You got me
a real Rolex?
32
00:01:17,330 --> 00:01:18,180
And it doesn't even have
the serial numbers
33
00:01:18,216 --> 00:01:20,196
scratched off this time.
34
00:01:20,233 --> 00:01:24,183
[imitating Pops]
A-and brother, now that I
got
this watch, I'm so sidity
35
00:01:24,216 --> 00:01:26,166
me and your mama's
gonna be knockin'
boots..
36
00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:28,320
(together)
...all night long.
37
00:01:28,350 --> 00:01:30,130
Bang, bang, bang!
38
00:01:30,166 --> 00:01:32,146
[theme music]
39
00:01:33,250 --> 00:01:35,500
♪ We're brothers ♪
40
00:01:35,830 --> 00:01:36,270
♪ We're happy
and we're singing ♪
41
00:01:36,300 --> 00:01:38,250
♪ And we're colored ♪
42
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:42,163
♪ Give me a high five ♪♪
43
00:01:42,500 --> 00:01:43,180
(male #1)
'Alright, cut and print.'
44
00:01:43,216 --> 00:01:45,826
'Beautiful guys!
Dynamite! That is..'
45
00:01:45,116 --> 00:01:47,166
[upbeat music]
46
00:01:51,333 --> 00:01:52,373
[instrumental music]
47
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:56,160
(Dee)
'Oh...look at you!'
48
00:01:57,500 --> 00:01:59,120
Happy birthday, Pops!
49
00:01:59,150 --> 00:02:01,150
- Happy birthday, Pops!
- Happy birthday, Pops!
50
00:02:01,183 --> 00:02:02,373
Thank ya!
51
00:02:04,100 --> 00:02:06,660
What are you two
huddled back there
for?
52
00:02:06,100 --> 00:02:10,120
You wouldn't be tryin' to hide
my birthday present, would ya?
53
00:02:10,150 --> 00:02:12,180
Stop it, Pops, look,
you're not gonna find
out
54
00:02:12,216 --> 00:02:14,126
what we got you until tonight.
55
00:02:14,166 --> 00:02:15,346
Now stop. Don't even ask.
56
00:02:15,383 --> 00:02:18,383
Well, I'll be there
7 O'clock sharp ready to
party.
57
00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:21,330
Don't worry,
I'll bring my own
pinata.
58
00:02:21,366 --> 00:02:23,176
Come on, Dee.
59
00:02:23,216 --> 00:02:24,316
Let me buy you
a little birthday drink.
60
00:02:24,350 --> 00:02:26,230
Well, I don't drink
this early.
61
00:02:27,283 --> 00:02:28,303
Man, G.
62
00:02:28,333 --> 00:02:30,833
He's gonna be so
excited
when he finds out
63
00:02:30,116 --> 00:02:31,116
what we got him, you know?
64
00:02:31,150 --> 00:02:32,230
Yeah. Hey, look..
65
00:02:32,266 --> 00:02:34,126
I'mma go pick up
his present.
66
00:02:34,166 --> 00:02:37,146
Alright, Marlon. Now this
is a big responsibility for
you.
67
00:02:37,183 --> 00:02:39,153
And you know how important
this day is to Pops.
68
00:02:39,183 --> 00:02:41,133
So do not screw this up.
69
00:02:41,166 --> 00:02:44,346
Come on, black. Why you
gonna disrespect me like
that?
70
00:02:44,383 --> 00:02:46,373
I'm sayin', I know
how to handle my
business!
71
00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:49,660
- Now, Marlon--
- I can handle my business!
72
00:02:49,100 --> 00:02:50,270
Come on, baby
child.
Let's go, baby.
73
00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:52,250
I got a lot of business.
74
00:03:01,500 --> 00:03:04,160
I was just testin' you.
See, you're on your
toes.
75
00:03:04,500 --> 00:03:05,170
I like that, bro.
You're on your
toes.
76
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,330
(Shawn)
'I'm on my toes.'
77
00:03:07,660 --> 00:03:09,330
[instrumental music]
78
00:03:12,166 --> 00:03:14,366
Yo, G, you need
to really slow down,
man.
79
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,270
I got a lotta
problems
with my ankles.
80
00:03:16,300 --> 00:03:18,180
Problem is you got
too much weight on 'em.
81
00:03:18,216 --> 00:03:20,216
Now move your big behind on.
82
00:03:20,250 --> 00:03:23,250
Why are you comin' off
on me like that, man?
83
00:03:23,283 --> 00:03:26,133
I'm sorry, black. I was just
thinkin' of my Pops, man.
84
00:03:26,166 --> 00:03:28,116
I mean, every year
we get him a cheap gift.
85
00:03:28,150 --> 00:03:31,200
I just want to get him somethin'
nice, you know what I'm sayin'?
86
00:03:31,233 --> 00:03:32,333
Yo, man,
I'm sure your
Pops
87
00:03:32,366 --> 00:03:34,376
will be cool with
whatever
y'all get him.
88
00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:38,250
He's probably happy y'all
ain't puttin' him a home.
89
00:03:38,283 --> 00:03:40,303
We need to put
you in fat camp.
90
00:03:41,366 --> 00:03:43,826
I don't know man,
there must be some way
91
00:03:43,116 --> 00:03:44,366
to get him that fancy Rolex.
92
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:49,330
(male #2)
Come on, now, Li'l
Joe.
Come on! Hmm! Hmm!
93
00:03:49,660 --> 00:03:52,230
This is the worst streak
of bad luck I have ever had.
94
00:03:53,283 --> 00:03:55,203
- Dupree, come on.
- Yo, man.
95
00:03:55,233 --> 00:03:57,503
Son, come on.
96
00:03:57,830 --> 00:03:59,500
Are you gonna gamble with the
money for your father's gift?
97
00:03:59,830 --> 00:04:02,200
I'm sayin' the money I earn, I
could get him a real Rolex,
man.
98
00:04:02,233 --> 00:04:05,303
Look, come on, G, look it,
T.C. is stone cold, man.
99
00:04:05,333 --> 00:04:09,253
I'm sayin', this will be as easy
as takin' money from government.
100
00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:13,333
Hey, if we're lucky,
I'll even buy you a Whopper.
101
00:04:13,660 --> 00:04:14,220
Hey, you really think
I'm gonna let a
Whopper
102
00:04:14,250 --> 00:04:16,100
come between me
and my better judgment?
103
00:04:16,133 --> 00:04:18,183
With
104
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,200
Man, if you put it that way,
you need to go on over there
105
00:04:22,233 --> 00:04:24,833
and handle your
business,
you understand me?
106
00:04:24,116 --> 00:04:26,346
- That's what I'm sayin'.
- Yeah, it's on.
107
00:04:26,383 --> 00:04:28,253
Yo, what's up?
What they in
for?
108
00:04:28,283 --> 00:04:31,303
A Whopper with cheese, partner.
A Whopper with cheese.
109
00:04:31,333 --> 00:04:34,303
T.C., I'mma take you
for everything you own.
110
00:04:36,233 --> 00:04:39,663
Marlon and Dupree
should be here by
now.
111
00:04:39,100 --> 00:04:41,660
Hope they're not
somewhere goofin' off.
112
00:04:41,100 --> 00:04:43,330
Grandma, Marlon knows
how important this day is.
113
00:04:43,660 --> 00:04:45,830
I'm sure he's got
everything under control.
114
00:04:45,116 --> 00:04:48,326
Boy, get your hairy arms
off me.
115
00:04:48,660 --> 00:04:50,280
Now, looks like I have
everything you own.
116
00:04:50,316 --> 00:04:53,156
Oh, you can have
your shirts back.
117
00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:55,830
I don't wear cotton.
118
00:04:55,116 --> 00:04:58,656
You know what, I'm gonna
be a big man about this.
119
00:04:58,100 --> 00:05:00,150
A small step for a giant.
120
00:05:01,333 --> 00:05:02,353
Here are your jackets.
121
00:05:02,383 --> 00:05:05,333
- Oh.
- Come on, brother.
122
00:05:12,116 --> 00:05:16,656
Man, Dupree! What am I
gonna do about my father's
gift?
123
00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:18,150
I can't go back to the crib.
Shawn will kill me, man.
124
00:05:18,183 --> 00:05:20,003
Yup.
125
00:05:20,330 --> 00:05:22,220
God, all I had to do
was get my father's present.
126
00:05:22,250 --> 00:05:24,100
I can't do nothin' right.
127
00:05:24,133 --> 00:05:25,203
I feel worthless, man.
128
00:05:25,233 --> 00:05:27,183
Huh. Yeah, you should.
129
00:05:27,216 --> 00:05:31,116
I thought I wasn't nothin'.
But you really ain't squat!
130
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:36,130
I might as well just
eat
my father's cake.
131
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:44,200
No!
132
00:05:44,233 --> 00:05:45,373
- 'I couldn't help myself!'
- No!
133
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:47,220
You didn't eat my
daddy's birthday cake?
134
00:05:47,250 --> 00:05:51,160
I couldn't help myself, man.
You never got the Whopper.
135
00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:54,150
Negro, you
ate
the candles!
136
00:05:54,183 --> 00:05:56,333
I'm just weak, man.
137
00:05:56,660 --> 00:05:59,180
I'm just a weak,
fat little man.
138
00:06:01,133 --> 00:06:05,103
God, I've messed up before,
but not like this, man.
139
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,100
You want to lick the box?
140
00:06:08,133 --> 00:06:10,163
[instrumental music]
141
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:15,170
I'm always messin' up.
I can't do nothin' right.
142
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:19,160
The only good I'm doing is,
messin' up other people's
lives.
143
00:06:19,500 --> 00:06:22,130
I wish I was never born.
144
00:06:22,166 --> 00:06:25,366
(male #3)
'Aye, thinkin' of doin'
yourself in, dawg?'
145
00:06:27,100 --> 00:06:30,130
Who that? Who that?
Beef? Beef?
146
00:06:30,166 --> 00:06:32,196
[screaming]
147
00:06:36,116 --> 00:06:37,266
Shawn?
148
00:06:37,300 --> 00:06:40,100
Huh, he wished, fool.
149
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:43,373
I'm D'Angelo.
I'm your guardian angel.
150
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,370
Brother, you ain't no
angel.
Angel's are white.
151
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:50,250
[chuckles]
That's what the man
wants you to think.
152
00:06:50,283 --> 00:06:54,133
- Ah. Enlightenment.
- Uh-huh.
153
00:06:54,166 --> 00:06:58,126
See, I'm just an angel tryin'
to get my wings on.
154
00:06:58,166 --> 00:07:01,126
Yeah, well if you're
an angel, then prove
it.
155
00:07:01,166 --> 00:07:02,296
Alright, then.
156
00:07:02,333 --> 00:07:05,253
See that brother down there
tryin' to catch that cab?
157
00:07:05,283 --> 00:07:07,003
Yeah.
158
00:07:07,330 --> 00:07:10,100
He been here for over an
hour.
Give up, bro!
159
00:07:11,166 --> 00:07:12,346
Ain't nobody gonna stop for him.
160
00:07:12,383 --> 00:07:14,203
Watch this.
161
00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:20,830
[tingling]
162
00:07:21,100 --> 00:07:23,000
[tires screeching]
163
00:07:23,330 --> 00:07:24,160
(male #4)
'I can't believe it!'
164
00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:25,200
'It's a miracle! It stopped!'
165
00:07:25,233 --> 00:07:27,223
[man laughing]
'It stopped!'
166
00:07:27,250 --> 00:07:31,200
Snap! Damn, black,
you really are an angel, huh?
167
00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:34,223
Hey, what's up? Can you hook
a brother's credit up?
168
00:07:34,250 --> 00:07:37,160
Hey, hey.
Hey, slow down,
junior.
169
00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:39,000
Only one miracle at a time.
170
00:07:39,330 --> 00:07:40,230
What the hell
are you doin' here?
171
00:07:40,266 --> 00:07:43,176
Well, I'm here to help you
out
in your time of need.
172
00:07:44,250 --> 00:07:46,320
You said you wished
you were never born.
173
00:07:46,350 --> 00:07:48,100
You think you're all horn?
174
00:07:48,133 --> 00:07:52,353
Alright, then, from this
point on, you were never born.
175
00:07:52,383 --> 00:07:55,273
Never born.
What you mean, never born?
176
00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:58,500
Oh, so what am I?
Some sperm?
177
00:07:58,830 --> 00:08:00,300
Where's the egg?
Where's the egg?
178
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:05,330
What y'all be smokin' up
there?
Angel dust?
179
00:08:08,283 --> 00:08:11,303
That's pretty funny for a
guy
that doesn't exist.
180
00:08:11,333 --> 00:08:13,353
If you don't believe
me?
Alright, then.
181
00:08:13,383 --> 00:08:15,133
Let's go see your
family
and see how
182
00:08:15,166 --> 00:08:17,126
they're gettin'
along
without you.
183
00:08:17,166 --> 00:08:19,146
Alright, fine.
Oh, hold on.
184
00:08:19,183 --> 00:08:23,203
If you're my guardian angel,
are you always watchin' me?
185
00:08:23,233 --> 00:08:27,323
I mean, even when,
uh...you know?
186
00:08:27,350 --> 00:08:29,330
Yup.
187
00:08:29,660 --> 00:08:31,160
And let me be the
first
to tell you, junior.
188
00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:32,100
You need a hobby.
189
00:08:32,133 --> 00:08:33,373
And keep it up,
you gonna be
blind.
190
00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:37,200
Oh! I'm sorry, God.
I was just lonely.
191
00:08:37,233 --> 00:08:39,103
Come on.
192
00:08:39,133 --> 00:08:41,253
[tingling]
You ever had
that lonely feelin'?
193
00:08:44,366 --> 00:08:46,156
[instrumental music]
194
00:08:50,233 --> 00:08:52,233
Oh, man!
That was dope!
195
00:08:52,266 --> 00:08:55,146
Whoa! I got excited
for a minute.
196
00:08:56,133 --> 00:08:57,253
Hey, bro.
197
00:08:57,283 --> 00:09:01,103
I guess me not being born
didn't change much around here.
198
00:09:01,133 --> 00:09:02,273
And where's Shawn?
199
00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:04,120
[chuckles]
Ah, junior.
200
00:09:04,150 --> 00:09:06,370
Shawn don't
own the newsstand anymore.
201
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,150
Oh, I know.
202
00:09:08,183 --> 00:09:11,503
You're tryin' to tell me that
because I wasn't in Shawn's
life
203
00:09:11,830 --> 00:09:13,130
he never accomplished
any of his goals.
204
00:09:13,166 --> 00:09:14,226
What, is he homeless?
205
00:09:14,266 --> 00:09:15,376
He in jail, huh?
206
00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:19,170
No. He replaced the Indian
in the Village People.
207
00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:21,270
I knew that boy
had sugar in his tank.
208
00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:24,150
He used to always do that.
209
00:09:24,183 --> 00:09:27,503
Yeah, Shawn was sweet.
I knew it.
210
00:09:27,830 --> 00:09:28,320
Not exactly, junior.
211
00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:31,000
See, Shawn owns
the buildin'
now.
212
00:09:31,330 --> 00:09:34,200
This is now
called
the S.W. Towers.
213
00:09:34,233 --> 00:09:36,233
See, Marlon,
since you wasn't
born..
214
00:09:36,266 --> 00:09:38,376
Shawn had to go
get another roommate.
215
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:40,250
One that paid rent.
216
00:09:40,283 --> 00:09:41,373
I paid rent.
217
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,180
Come on, junior.
Do you know who I work
for?
218
00:09:46,300 --> 00:09:48,380
Well, I kinda paid rent.
219
00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:50,330
Hey, look, them Sanford and Son
collector plates
220
00:09:50,366 --> 00:09:52,326
are gonna be worth
somethin' one day.
221
00:09:52,366 --> 00:09:55,656
Anyway, with the extra
money
Shawn saved
222
00:09:55,100 --> 00:09:59,130
he invested in the stock
market,
and made millions.
223
00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:03,116
For the last time, get
them Negroes out of my
building.
224
00:10:03,150 --> 00:10:08,660
Look, I don't care if they
are my family. Get rid of
'em!
225
00:10:08,100 --> 00:10:09,230
- Yeah.
- Wait.
226
00:10:09,266 --> 00:10:12,126
Since I wasn't born,
Shawn's a millionaire?
227
00:10:12,166 --> 00:10:13,166
Well, I'mma go get paid.
228
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,660
Hey, you gotta recognize.
229
00:10:15,100 --> 00:10:17,330
He ain't gonna recognize you.
230
00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:18,170
You better raise up.
231
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,830
Hey, look.
Everybody know me, baby.
232
00:10:20,116 --> 00:10:21,246
I'm M-love.
233
00:10:21,283 --> 00:10:23,003
[laughing]
Ah.
234
00:10:24,216 --> 00:10:26,326
What's up, big baby!
235
00:10:26,366 --> 00:10:28,316
What's up, black!
What's up, Shawn?
236
00:10:28,350 --> 00:10:32,100
How ya feelin', baby? Boy,
you
lookin' good. Look at you.
237
00:10:32,133 --> 00:10:36,173
Looking all snazzy. Boy,
you look like Johnnie
Cochran.
238
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,150
Look at your bad self, Shawn.
239
00:10:38,183 --> 00:10:41,283
Hey, I always knew you
was gonna be somebody. I
did.
240
00:10:41,316 --> 00:10:43,346
Oh, is that a real
cellular phone? Let me
see.
241
00:10:43,383 --> 00:10:45,173
This ain't
without
the chip in it?
242
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:46,270
- Hey!
- I gotta call my hoochies.
243
00:10:46,300 --> 00:10:49,330
Hold on. Hey, you
girl..
Wassup, girl?
244
00:10:49,660 --> 00:10:50,320
- Give me my phone!
- Hey!
245
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,330
Project Bunny!
246
00:10:53,116 --> 00:10:54,346
Oh, Project Bunny?
247
00:10:54,383 --> 00:10:57,223
You even usin' rich words.
248
00:10:57,250 --> 00:10:58,280
- Give me some money.
- What?
249
00:10:58,316 --> 00:11:00,156
- Give me some money.
- Help!
250
00:11:00,500 --> 00:11:01,180
- Hey, help, security!
- Give me money.
251
00:11:01,216 --> 00:11:02,376
- I only want some money.
- Security!
252
00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:06,500
Security! I'm bein' robbed
by a crack-head!
253
00:11:06,830 --> 00:11:08,100
Hyah. Hyah.
254
00:11:09,100 --> 00:11:10,300
Hey! Hey, Dee, it's me!
255
00:11:10,333 --> 00:11:13,333
What would you like me to do
with this one, Mr. Williams?
256
00:11:13,660 --> 00:11:16,330
Uh, do me a favor and
just take it really easy on
him.
257
00:11:17,133 --> 00:11:19,103
Beat him, mace him
and toss him in the alley!
258
00:11:19,133 --> 00:11:21,303
No, wait, Dee.
Dee, hold on. Hey, hold on.
259
00:11:21,333 --> 00:11:23,303
Arnold Schwarzenegger,
it's me, Marlon!
260
00:11:23,333 --> 00:11:25,123
- I don't know you!
- Ow!
261
00:11:25,150 --> 00:11:28,370
Would you take them
big-ass glasses off, you'd
see.
262
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,220
Okay, okay, you're in love
with the Jamaican drifter
263
00:11:31,250 --> 00:11:35,170
Dexter Longshanks, on that soap
opera, "Young and the Sweaty."
264
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:38,160
Everybody knows
that.
I'm married to him.
265
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:39,230
- That's a nice ring.
- Oh, yeah.
266
00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:41,326
I can't look at that
like that, girl. Mm-mm.
267
00:11:41,366 --> 00:11:43,146
Oh, there you are, Dex.
268
00:11:43,183 --> 00:11:45,273
Dee, light of my life,
you want me to kick
269
00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:49,000
the little bubba-squat's ass
for you?
270
00:11:49,330 --> 00:11:52,170
- No. Get movin'!
- Okay, okay, I'm leavin'.
271
00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:56,500
[Jamaican accent]
Whitey boy.
272
00:12:00,150 --> 00:12:02,250
Well, I guess me not being born
273
00:12:02,283 --> 00:12:04,273
was the best thing
for everybody.
274
00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:07,180
I mean, look it.
Shawn's rich.
275
00:12:07,216 --> 00:12:10,316
Dee's married
to Whoopie Goldilocks.
276
00:12:10,350 --> 00:12:12,170
"Popillion's Bistro?"
277
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:14,220
- Is this Pops' Diner?
- Yeah, fool.
278
00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:16,830
See, since you
weren't around,
Marlon
279
00:12:16,116 --> 00:12:19,496
Pops' was able to study
with the best chefs in
Paris.
280
00:12:19,830 --> 00:12:21,370
Now, he owner of one of the
most
exclusive French restaurants
281
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,120
in the United States.
282
00:12:23,150 --> 00:12:26,150
I got to go, man.
This is too depressing.
283
00:12:27,350 --> 00:12:30,180
Hold up. Hold up.
284
00:12:30,216 --> 00:12:33,826
No! Come on.
285
00:12:33,116 --> 00:12:36,126
Dupree?
Body Builder of the
Year?
286
00:12:36,166 --> 00:12:38,296
How the hell did he turn
that keg into a six pack?
287
00:12:38,333 --> 00:12:41,663
Well, Marlon, since you
weren't around to bribe him
288
00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:42,350
with those Whoppers
all the time
289
00:12:42,383 --> 00:12:45,833
the brother finally
made his way to the gym.
290
00:12:45,116 --> 00:12:46,226
Start puttin' 'em up.
291
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:50,656
Put 'em up, put 'em up,
put 'em up.
292
00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:53,000
So I guess I just messed
up
everybody's life, huh?
293
00:12:53,330 --> 00:12:55,120
Next thing you'll
tell me
is T.C. is President.
294
00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:58,000
[both chuckle]
295
00:12:58,330 --> 00:13:00,120
Dawg, don't be ridiculous.
296
00:13:00,150 --> 00:13:02,200
- He's a senator.
- What?
297
00:13:02,233 --> 00:13:04,333
Oh, God, this is makin'
me
crazy. Come on, man.
298
00:13:04,366 --> 00:13:06,326
- Hey, hold on, junior.
- No more.
299
00:13:06,366 --> 00:13:08,496
I'mma peel my cap.
300
00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:09,350
Well, junior,
you don't want to miss
301
00:13:09,383 --> 00:13:11,373
your father's party, do you?
302
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,830
What you smokin'?
I ain't goin' in
there.
303
00:13:14,116 --> 00:13:15,226
Hey, look, Dee and the dude
304
00:13:15,266 --> 00:13:17,326
with the "Predator" hair
is gonna kick my behind.
305
00:13:17,660 --> 00:13:18,370
- I ain't gonna--
- Oh, dog, stop tripping.
306
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,130
I'm gonna make us invisible.
307
00:13:22,350 --> 00:13:24,160
[tingling]
308
00:13:25,250 --> 00:13:27,230
You need some
Head and Shoulders.
309
00:13:27,266 --> 00:13:29,656
[thunder rumbling]
310
00:13:34,233 --> 00:13:36,283
Come on.
Let's go get our party on.
311
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,346
Hey, forget the
party,
if I'm invisible
312
00:13:38,383 --> 00:13:41,133
I'm goin' to the ladies room.
313
00:13:42,183 --> 00:13:43,353
Come on, dawg.
Don't playa-hate
me.
314
00:13:43,383 --> 00:13:46,103
Come on, I just want one
peek.
One peek.
315
00:13:55,830 --> 00:13:57,170
You trippin', dawg.
316
00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:58,300
Wow!
317
00:13:58,333 --> 00:14:01,833
This place is fancy.
318
00:14:01,116 --> 00:14:02,166
Real glasses?
319
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:04,130
What happened to the jelly jars?
320
00:14:04,166 --> 00:14:06,276
And where's the fly paper at?
321
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,250
Hey, look at Grandma.
322
00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:12,233
Hey, you lookin' good, Grandma.
323
00:14:12,266 --> 00:14:14,146
You gotta go with your bad self.
324
00:14:14,183 --> 00:14:17,123
Look real hard and close.
325
00:14:17,150 --> 00:14:20,200
Do you really think their life
is better without you?
326
00:14:21,366 --> 00:14:23,146
Oh, my god!
327
00:14:23,183 --> 00:14:26,103
Grandma's in a
wheelchair?
What happened?
328
00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:29,203
Well, since you wasn't around
to help her cross the street..
329
00:14:29,233 --> 00:14:31,353
...she got hit by a taxi.
330
00:14:31,383 --> 00:14:33,183
Oh, man.
331
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:38,300
Well, I guess my life
meant somethin' to Grandma.
332
00:14:38,333 --> 00:14:39,323
But Dee. What about Dee?
333
00:14:39,350 --> 00:14:41,150
I mean, she's happy.
334
00:14:41,183 --> 00:14:43,183
'She's married to the hottest
guy in soaps.'
335
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,376
Why, Dexter over here
is so busy
336
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:47,330
'mackin' all the girls
around town'
337
00:14:47,366 --> 00:14:50,316
'he ain't got no time
to break Dee off.'
338
00:14:50,350 --> 00:14:53,130
Hold on, wait, wait,
wait, wait. Time out.
339
00:14:53,166 --> 00:14:55,326
W-what are you tryin' to say?
340
00:14:55,366 --> 00:14:57,246
He ain't knockin'
boots
with Dee?
341
00:14:57,283 --> 00:14:59,123
Ha! Woo-hoo!
342
00:14:59,150 --> 00:15:02,660
Uh, hang on a second.
What?
343
00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:04,230
Please don't tear
down
the retirement home.
344
00:15:04,266 --> 00:15:06,366
It's the only place
we got to live.
345
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,180
[imitating Grandma]
It's the only place
we got to live.
346
00:15:09,216 --> 00:15:11,116
Well, read your lease, sweetie.
347
00:15:11,150 --> 00:15:12,230
I'm puttin' up somethin'
that's a little bit
348
00:15:12,266 --> 00:15:14,326
more important to the community.
349
00:15:14,366 --> 00:15:16,496
Yogurt World!
350
00:15:16,830 --> 00:15:18,170
Yes! It'll be mine!
351
00:15:19,283 --> 00:15:21,373
But we all in wheelchairs.
352
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,500
Good.
353
00:15:23,830 --> 00:15:25,500
So it'll be a smooth ride
when I roll
354
00:15:25,830 --> 00:15:28,170
your little wrinkle asses
out into the street.
355
00:15:32,233 --> 00:15:33,273
What's wrong with Shawn?
356
00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:35,270
He ain't never been that mean.
357
00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:38,100
Well, dawg, without you around
358
00:15:38,133 --> 00:15:41,003
he didn't have anybody
to distract him from his work.
359
00:15:41,330 --> 00:15:43,250
So he never learned
how to enjoy life.
360
00:15:44,366 --> 00:15:48,116
(Marlon)
'Wow. Hold on, is that Pops?'
361
00:15:48,150 --> 00:15:50,500
He looks horrible.
362
00:15:50,830 --> 00:15:51,220
He like Uncle Ben.
363
00:15:53,183 --> 00:15:56,663
Yep. And he's turnin'
the big five-O today.
364
00:15:56,100 --> 00:15:57,180
But, without you there..
365
00:15:57,216 --> 00:16:00,656
he didn't have anybody
to keep him feelin' young.
366
00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:02,330
Bonjour,
367
00:16:02,366 --> 00:16:04,276
'Let's get this over with.'
368
00:16:04,316 --> 00:16:07,496
Happy Birthday,
Mr. Williams.
369
00:16:07,830 --> 00:16:10,200
Hmm. Another Rolex.
370
00:16:11,250 --> 00:16:13,100
Merci.
371
00:16:14,216 --> 00:16:16,326
Yee-ti-dee.
372
00:16:17,166 --> 00:16:19,346
- Oh.
- Bang, bang, bang.
373
00:16:19,383 --> 00:16:22,173
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
374
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,170
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
375
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,160
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
376
00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:27,330
♪ Which nobody can deny ♪♪
377
00:16:27,366 --> 00:16:29,216
Dang!
378
00:16:29,250 --> 00:16:32,230
Broko-Ono sounds horrible.
379
00:16:32,266 --> 00:16:35,216
I know. I'm about to zap her
into some singing lessons.
380
00:16:35,250 --> 00:16:37,270
[puffing weakly]
381
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:44,300
What's with everybody?
382
00:16:44,333 --> 00:16:47,163
'Nobody's laughin'
or havin' any fun.'
383
00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:49,200
'Come on, people,
it's a party, not a
funeral.'
384
00:16:50,183 --> 00:16:52,223
'What's wrong with them?'
385
00:16:52,250 --> 00:16:55,300
That's 'cause they ain't
havin'
no fun, Marlon.
386
00:16:55,333 --> 00:16:58,833
They don't have any spark
in their life.
387
00:16:58,116 --> 00:17:00,996
And that's what you brought 'em.
388
00:17:01,330 --> 00:17:05,830
So now, do you really still
wish
you were never born?
389
00:17:07,350 --> 00:17:09,280
No.
390
00:17:09,316 --> 00:17:12,156
I guess my family needs me.
391
00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:13,250
I mean, without me,
they're messin' up their
lives
392
00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:15,273
they just seem miserable.
393
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:20,660
I want to go home
now,
D'Angelo.
394
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:22,200
[tapping shoes]
395
00:17:22,233 --> 00:17:24,103
I wish I was home.
396
00:17:24,133 --> 00:17:26,163
[tapping shoes]
397
00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:27,180
I wish I was home.
398
00:17:27,216 --> 00:17:28,996
[tapping shoes]
399
00:17:29,330 --> 00:17:30,250
I wish I was home.
400
00:17:30,283 --> 00:17:32,223
Fool! This ain't
the "Wizard of Oz."
401
00:17:32,250 --> 00:17:34,250
Oh, my bad.
402
00:17:34,283 --> 00:17:35,383
[tingling]
403
00:17:37,183 --> 00:17:38,283
D'Angelo?
404
00:17:39,383 --> 00:17:41,833
D'Angelo!
405
00:17:41,116 --> 00:17:43,826
[cawing]
406
00:17:45,150 --> 00:17:47,120
Hey, I'm back.
407
00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:49,130
And I'm me!
408
00:17:50,216 --> 00:17:51,296
Yes! And I still got enough time
409
00:17:51,333 --> 00:17:53,153
to make it
to Pops' birthday party.
410
00:17:54,283 --> 00:17:56,383
Taxi!
Taxi!
411
00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,130
Taxi!
412
00:17:59,166 --> 00:18:01,316
Where's your guardian angel
when you need him?
413
00:18:01,350 --> 00:18:03,330
Taxi!
414
00:18:03,366 --> 00:18:06,996
Hey, white people!
Can y'all catch me a taxi?
415
00:18:07,330 --> 00:18:08,150
[instrumental music]
416
00:18:14,830 --> 00:18:16,350
I'm back! I'm back!
417
00:18:17,366 --> 00:18:21,316
Pops! Pop, you're not old.
418
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:24,330
'Tacky as all hell,
but ya ain't old.'
419
00:18:24,366 --> 00:18:29,196
And Grandma? Grandma, look,
you can walk.
420
00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:31,003
'You don't look like
one of Ironside's '
421
00:18:31,330 --> 00:18:33,830
'old hoochies anymore.'
422
00:18:33,116 --> 00:18:36,376
And Dee you still
ain't got a man.
423
00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:39,330
'You'd better go on
with your lonely self,
girl.'
424
00:18:41,330 --> 00:18:43,000
'And Shawn!'
425
00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:46,000
'Shawn...you're a failure!'
426
00:18:46,330 --> 00:18:49,830
My bummy brother.
Oh-ho ho..
427
00:18:49,116 --> 00:18:52,276
What the hell are you talkin'
about, man? Where you been?
428
00:18:52,316 --> 00:18:55,996
Shawn? You know me?
429
00:18:56,330 --> 00:18:58,220
You know me, kid! Ha!
430
00:18:58,250 --> 00:19:00,320
Get off me!
431
00:19:00,350 --> 00:19:02,270
Get off me, man!
432
00:19:02,300 --> 00:19:05,000
Marlon, baby,
you had us worried.
433
00:19:05,330 --> 00:19:06,150
Grandma!
434
00:19:06,183 --> 00:19:10,833
Go on! Give me a kick.
Give me a kick. Yeah!
435
00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:12,276
- You're here! Yeah.
- Pop, you tacky man, you!
436
00:19:12,316 --> 00:19:15,176
It wouldn't be a
party
without my baby
boy!
437
00:19:15,216 --> 00:19:17,096
Pops, I'm so sorry
I'm late.
438
00:19:17,133 --> 00:19:20,283
But look I..
I messed up this time.
439
00:19:20,316 --> 00:19:22,216
Hey, look, whatever you
did,
don't worry about it.
440
00:19:22,250 --> 00:19:25,180
You're here and you're safe.
And son, I wanna thank you.
441
00:19:25,216 --> 00:19:27,276
I've always
wanted
a real Rolex.
442
00:19:27,316 --> 00:19:32,326
It's perfect. And I
promise,
I'll never pawn it.
443
00:19:35,660 --> 00:19:36,100
A Rolex?
444
00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:37,173
What, pop got the Rolex?
445
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:39,130
Come on, man.
Stop playin' around, G.
446
00:19:39,166 --> 00:19:41,366
Hey, look, I don't care
how you got the watch.
447
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,120
I don't care
who gave it to you.
448
00:19:43,150 --> 00:19:45,350
All I know is if the police
come lookin' for you..
449
00:19:45,383 --> 00:19:48,333
I'm dimin' you out.
450
00:19:50,830 --> 00:19:51,230
Maybe it was a miracle.
451
00:19:51,266 --> 00:19:55,096
[chuckles]
The only miracles
I know sing with Smokey.
452
00:19:56,233 --> 00:19:59,273
So, uh, I told him
the problem
453
00:19:59,300 --> 00:20:02,000
and he took care of everything
partner, everything.
454
00:20:02,330 --> 00:20:03,130
- Hey.
- Hey.
455
00:20:03,166 --> 00:20:07,096
My miracles come
with a 22% interest rate.
456
00:20:07,133 --> 00:20:11,173
Yeah, so that's thirty for the
cake, a $1.20 for the candles
457
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:14,660
two for Dupree's Whopper..
458
00:20:14,100 --> 00:20:16,120
...and twenty-cents
for the cheese!
459
00:20:16,150 --> 00:20:19,300
And the watch. Ooh! I gotta
add this up. One, two,
three--
460
00:20:19,333 --> 00:20:22,223
Hey, you know what?
I don't even care.
461
00:20:22,250 --> 00:20:25,160
I'm just happy
that my family needs
me.
462
00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:26,370
Just like you
need
an S-Curl.
463
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,220
[laughs]
You know what?
464
00:20:28,250 --> 00:20:31,320
To get that S-Curl,
I'm gonna need your money.
465
00:20:35,283 --> 00:20:37,173
D! My man!
466
00:20:40,366 --> 00:20:43,176
Thanks, D'Angelo.
467
00:20:43,216 --> 00:20:45,996
Hey, I hope
you get your wings,
brah.
468
00:20:46,330 --> 00:20:48,180
[pager beeping]
Alright, junior.
I gotta roll.
469
00:20:48,216 --> 00:20:51,996
I think I'm bein' paged
by one of my heavenly bodies.
470
00:20:53,183 --> 00:20:55,203
Six-six-six?
471
00:20:55,233 --> 00:20:58,153
How'd the hell
did she get my number?
472
00:21:00,166 --> 00:21:03,346
Well, junior, see you
at the cross-roads, dawg.
473
00:21:06,500 --> 00:21:07,270
♪ And I am
gonna miss everybody ♪
474
00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:09,250
♪ And I am
gonna miss everybody ♪
475
00:21:09,283 --> 00:21:11,133
♪ And I am
gonna miss everybody.. ♪♪
476
00:21:11,166 --> 00:21:13,316
[instrumental music]
477
00:21:31,660 --> 00:21:34,100
Oh, man. Look at you.
478
00:21:34,133 --> 00:21:38,223
All golden brown,
soft and thick.
479
00:21:38,250 --> 00:21:41,830
I could just eat you up.
480
00:21:41,116 --> 00:21:42,996
Big chops, what you
lookin' at over
there?
481
00:21:43,330 --> 00:21:44,280
Is that the new
centerfold
in "Playpen?"
482
00:21:44,316 --> 00:21:46,216
The one with the stretch
marks
and the bullet wound?
483
00:21:46,250 --> 00:21:47,380
Let me see.
484
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:50,000
Come on, G, let me see.
485
00:21:50,330 --> 00:21:53,370
Man, this is a desert magazine.
486
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:55,230
I know.
487
00:21:55,266 --> 00:21:58,226
Do you see the cherries
on that tart right there?
488
00:22:01,830 --> 00:22:03,830
(Shawn)Look up, Marlon. Say cheese.
36036
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