Original subtitles

Thank you, kind lady. Have a mighty fine day.

I'll have another refill, pop.

- Uh, sure, son. - Here, check this out.

Guess what this magazine says, "Businessmen are most likely

to reveal their secrets."

A hooker's bedroom.

No! That came in second.

- I knew it. - It's the golf course.

I'm thinkin' about takin' up golf as a hobby.

Mr. Neidermeyer said I could play with him anytime.

Caution. Golf can become an obsession.

Ah, you don't have to worry about me, pop.

I don't have one of those addictive personalities.

Now, hurry up with that coffee!

Boy, I have to take my belt off of me.

Yo! It's..

[chuckles] I'm jokin', man.

All I know is my friend Harold

got so deep into golf, he quit his job

so he can be on the green.

- 'Mm.' - Wife left him. Kids hated him.

- Mm. - 'He lost everything.'

- Mm. - Golf ruined his life.

Or maybe it was the crack.

[theme song]

♪ We're brothers ♪

♪ We're happy and we're singing ♪

♪ And we're colored ♪

♪ Give me a high five ♪♪

(male #1) 'Alright, cut and print.'

'Beautiful, guys. Dynamite. That is..'

[upbeat music]

Will you guys hurry up and finish breakfast?

My sister is gonna be here any minute.

Relax, Dee, I haven't seen you this excited

since Slim-Fast came out with cookies and cream.

Oh, I am sorry.

It's just that I haven't seen Natalie

since she was home on leave at Christmas

and I want everything to be perfect for her now.

Don't worry, Dee. I got her welcome sign all ready.

Oh, good, good, good.

(Pops) 'And, and I'm making her'

my extra special lunch, pork and beans.

Pops, you always make pork and beans.

She don't know that.

Hey, hey, hey, come on, Pops

now, Natalie is the pride of the Baxter family.

She was valedictorian at the Air Force Academy.

She flew in Desert Storm. She's a hero.

Ooh, she's so si-diddy.

I better bring out the Grey Poupon.

So, uh..

...Dee, is, uh, baby girl cute?

I'll say there's a family resemblance.

- Ha ha ha. - Damn!

Oh, I mean, da-a-amn, that is fly.

She look like the, the rest of the family--

Hey, Shawn, I don't want you sniffin' after my sister now.

Oh, please, well, you know, she's only here for a week

before she begins her second tour of duty in Asia.

So I want her time off to be peaceful.

Ah, don't worry, Dee

those military girls ain't thinkin' about me.

They're too busy watchin' Ellen.

Hello!

- Shh! Shh! Shh! - Dee!

- Dee! - That's her. That's her!

(Shawn) 'Go, go.'

[screaming]

- Dee. - It's so good to see you!

You too, Dee, I missed you.

I want you to meet my friends.

This is Pop Williams.

- Howdy-do, lieutenant? - Hi.

You know, I was in the army during the Vietnam War.

I didn't get much respect

but I served my country nevertheless.

Pops, you were stationed in Germany.

So? I faced a lot of danger.

All that knackwurst gave me so much gas

I could hardly walk.

Okay, and, and this is Shawn Williams.

Hey, I'm Shawn and I'm..

...I'm always standing at attention.

You know what I mean?

At ease, soldier, you know what I mean?

Okay, now where is Marlon?

[whistle blowing]

♪ I don't know but it's been leaked ♪

♪ Air force girls are the biggest freaks ♪

Halt!

♪ Dee's sister look good to me ♪

♪ I just thanked God she don't look like Dee ♪

Just jokin', Dee.

♪ Sound off ♪ ♪ One two ♪

♪ Sound off ♪ ♪ Three four ♪

♪ Sound off ♪ ♪ One two three four ♪

♪ One two three four ♪♪

[cheering]

I have never had my very own parade before.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

Hey, you want a tour of my baton?

[indistinct chattering]

- What is wrong with you? - Oh, man.

What?

Well, thank you all, it's, it's been a pleasure meeting you.

Why don't you go and get settled?

Oh, mama is dyin' to see you.

Okay, great, I'll see you later on tonight for the play, right?

Oh, no, I have to stand in for the night guard

so I'm not gonna be able to take you out on the town.

Uh, ahem, girl

I'll show you the city if you, uh, take me to your foxhole.

Uh, uh, forget it please.

Marlon, are you free?

Sure, I'll just tape the Playboy Channel.

Great, so I'll see you tonight.

Okay. Wait, don't do, don't do that, I'll get that.

No woman gonna get her bags.

[both chuckling]

[groaning]

Ah!

You better get those. I'll get the door.

[upbeat music]

[both chuckling]

I've never been on the Staten Island Ferry before.

- Really? - Yeah.

It's, like, really nice on the water

feeling the gentle rocking of the boat.

- Yeah, it was pretty nice. - Mm-hmm.

Sorry, I threw up on your shoes.

It's okay.

[chuckles]

You know, Marlon, there is something about you

that makes me feel so...relaxed.

I guess I'm just so used to being a soldier.

Sometimes I forget what it's like to just be a woman.

Girl, I know exactly what you mean.

Okay, fish.

[chuckles] You know what? I'm in a wacky mood.

I'm gonna do something I've never done before, alright?

- What? - Watch this.

- Bartender. - What?

I'm picking up the check.

Hey, y'all mind your damn business.

Go back to playing pool, yeah?

Hey, yo, ain't nobody gonna believe this man. Say cheese.

- Gum and cheese. - 'Alright.'

- Wait, Marlon. - Wassup, girl?

Where did you get all that money from?

I saved it. I ain't paid rent in three years.

Don't tell Shawn. He think I'm broke.

[chuckles] Pass me that rack.

Yeah, uh, I want this table.

I'm sorry, tuggy bear, but, uh, we got here first.

I wasn't asking your permission.

I'm takin' this table, scarecrow.

Hey, look here, Nestle Snipes.

Uh, baby, would you like to go bowlin'?

[screaming]

Hey, sweet thing.

Leave her alone.

How would you like to be with a real man?

[chuckles]

I already am.

Ooh.

Yeah. Yeah. What now?

What now? What you got a problem?

[Marlon screams]

[screaming]

Yeah, that's what I thought. What? Peace? Peace?

Get off out of here. Yo, get off me. Get off me.

What, y'all got a problem? Problem?

Who wants some? Y'all don't know me.

I'm crazy, boy. I'm crazy.

Brooklyn, boy. Brooklyn.

West Side.

Girl, it's a lucky thing you came.

I was just about to hurt them.

They don't know about all that.

Marlon, look, I'm really sorry, I just did that.

I feel so safe with you.

You are so butch.

[instrumental music]

[music continues]

Come on, boy, you gotta practice

if you wanna play Mr. Neidermeyer.

There's no son of mine who gonna play golf half-ass.

You're gonna play with your full ass.

Yes, sir.

Come on, Shawn, it's easy. I'll show you.

Wait a minute. Okay.

Now, hold her tight.

Alright, keep your arms loose.

Alright, now wiggle your hips.

Okay, that's good.

Now, put your pelvis in it.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Yes. Okay. - Ooh.

Hey, girl! Hey!

- You don't play golf. - I know.

Girl, you better get your hands off my wood.

Marlon can cover while we go to the driving range.

Oh, I think they're at Bloomingdale.

You know, Marlon has been so good this past week

keeping Natalie occupied

I feel I should pay him a little something now.

- 'Very nice of you.' - 'Yeah.'

Dee, you might wanna cancel that check

'cause I think the brother's already getting paid.

Uh, stop that. Stop that.

What are you doing to my sister?

Ain't nobody doing anything freaky.

- Yet. - Yet.

Dee, calm down.

- We were just kissing. - Yeah.

Just kissing?

That's no way for an officer to act.

You're absolutely right, Dee.

That's why I've decided, I'm not re-enlisting.

What?

I'm staying here in New York with Marlon.

That's right, Dee. We, we're in love.

I know it's sudden, but..

- Excuse me, Natalie. - 'Yes.'

You've only know him for a week.

I've know Marlon for years, and I love him like a brother.

But what do you see in this cretin?

Hey, wait a minute, Dee.

My son ain't no cretin. He's African-American.

Damn right.

I cannot believe you are throwing away your career.

Dee, I am a grown woman.

I can make my own decisions.

- Okay. - Okay.

[indistinct chattering]

- No, you said it.Okay. - Shut up.

I'm gonna go tell mama.

- Alright. - I'll see you tonight, Marlon.

Okay, baby.

- Shake that, girl. - Ooh!

'Shake what your mama gave ya.'

So you really did drug her, huh?

Man, that girl is not drugged, alright? She's in love.

Why are y'all player-hatin'?

P-H!

Why can't y'all just believe that me and Nat

we're meant for each other, man.

- Meant for each other? - 'Yeah.'

No. No. No, Marlon.

You were not meant for my sister.

She is destined for great things

and I'm not gonna let her throw her life away on you.

Wait, stop. You're saying I'm not good enough for your sister?

- That's not what I said. - Dee, that is what you said.

- No! - You know what? That's that.

You know what? Kill it, kill it. Kill it.

[upbeat music]

[upbeat music]

I'm sorry.

[sighs] It's just time for us to move on, you know.

I know you'll find another guy.

[sighs]

Look..

...I know you feel deflated.

Baby, I don't mean to pop your bubble, but..

[sniffles]

...it's over.

'Don't look at me like that, Blowsy.'

Don't you look at me like that.

I'll put you out of you misery, okay?

[sighs]

We had some good times, Blows.

- Hey. - Hey, what's popping, kid?

I mean, [indistinct].

- How're you doing? - Great.

I was just told I'm as worthwhile as cow dookie.

I feel like singing.

Well, technically, son, the cow dookie is extremely

helpful in agriculture.

- It is the-the substance that-- - Pops. Pops.

- Huh? - We get your point.

Marlon, sit down.

Dee did not mean what she said.

She's trying to protect Natalie.

Protect her? From me?

Come on, pop, I'm in love with the girl.

Son, love doesn't come from the groin

it comes from your heart.

I don't know about that, pop.

I think the groin got a little something to do with it.

- You know, 'cause you can't-- - Shut up, Shawn.

Love is unselfish.

I gave everything I owned to a woman I fell in love with.

Gave her my car.

My 8-track stereo.

My two Indian Head nickels.

Then she skipped town.

That's when I met your mama.

Really?

All I know was that..

...when I'm with Natalie, man, it's like..

...it's like biting into a York Peppermint Pattie.

And I get the sensation..

...I'm on the tallest mountain in Switzerland

and I'm skiing on those white slopes butt naked.

Ninety miles an hour

with the wind brushing through my nappy hair

and bouncing off my perky cold nipples.

And I'm screamin'..

...whee!

Whee!

Whee-e-e-e-e!

[instrumental music]

Ew!

I hate to see what you'd do for a Klondike bar.

(Marlon) What's up, G? What you doin' up here?

Oh, I just came to tell you that I talked to Dee

and I heard her side.

Mm-hmm. You know what, forget Dee. Shoot.

Uh, today I tell her I love her sister

and she gonna come at me like that? She just spits on it?

- That's foul, blank. - But, Marlon..

- Nah. - Come on, be real, kid.

I mean, what kinda future would-would Natalie have

being the wife of a unemployed actor?

She get up every mornin' late..

...eat a bowl of soggy cornflakes..

...wait on that government check and then go back to bed.

That's what I'm sayin', we be chillin'.

Alright, let me put this in GED terms for you.

If Natalie goes back to the air force

she's gonna be on the fast track.

Dee says she's destined to be a female Colin Powell.

So what are you sayin'?

I'm stoppin' her from being all she can be?

Marlon, remember when you were seven years old

and you found that little caterpillar?

Yeah, Willy.

And you wanted to put him inside a jar

so you could watch him turn into a butterfly?

Yeah.

But instead it died.

'Cause it didn't have any room to grow.

No. It died 'cause I kept him out in the sun.

With a magnifying glass on him.

Whatever, forget it. You're useless.

Look, I just came here to tell you why Dee was upset.

Think about it, Marlon.

Not too many sisters get a opportunity like this.

- Hey, Shawn. - Hey, Natalie.

- Hi, sweetie. - Hey, Natalie.

Alright, I'm outta here, y'all.

Y'all finish kissing.

- Um, here. - Alright, go on.

(Natalie) 'Come on, let's play.'

Hey, uh, Nattie.

Are you gonna miss doing all that "Top Gun" stuff?

No. All that machismo stuff gets tedious after a while.

Yeah.Machismo.

Whatever that means.

But I will miss some things.

'Cause we used to do a lot of good things for a lot of people.

Like the time we saved this village right outside Baghdad.

We rescued all those children.

Wait, wait. You risked your life for some people you don't know?

What you smokin'?

Marlon, some things are more important

than your own happiness.

You know what, Nat, I..

...I can't do this anymore.

Okay. You don't have to play if you don't want to.

No, I'm-I'm not talkin' about the game, Nat.

I'm talkin' about us.

Nat, look, I like you.

I love you, okay? I love you.

I'm gonna stop you from becoming a butterfly.

A butterfly?

Yes, see, it's like, if you was a caterpillar and I was a jar

and I put the lid on real tight..

...you'll never be able to do the butterfly

with light-skinned Colin Powell.

Marlon, what did you just say?

Please don't make me say it again.

Are you sayin' that you don't wanna be with me?

No. I'm sayin' I love you.

But...if you stay with me I'm just gonna hold you back.

- No, Marlon-- - Sweetie.

Some things are more important than my own happiness.

[instrumental music]

Hey, y'all, what happened to all that golf stuff y'all had?

Golf stuff? What golf stuff?

You're trippin'. There ain't no golf stuff.

Yeah, the golf clubs, the golf balls.

That's a figment of your imagination.

Man, we don't have no golf stuff around here.

Go back to work, man.

(Shawn) 'Trippin'.'

- Yo, what happened? - It's Mr. Neidermeyer.

Poor guy got hit in the head with a golf ball.

Came straight up the staircase and through the open door there.

Whoever did this is in for a big lawsuit.

Come on, let's go.

(both) Shh! Don't you tell nobody.

Hey. We're on our way to the airport.

Bye, Natalie.

Come back and visit us again.

I will. Thanks.

[sighs]

Well...I guess this is it, huh?

I'm gonna miss you.

I'm gonna miss you too.

[Natalie sighs]

I'm gonna call you everyday in Bangkok, okay?

- Really? - Yes.

Uh, brother, you gonna write Bangkok.

You better get a calling card.

[Marlon chuckles]

Call 1-800-Collect.

- Hey, do me a favor. - Hmm.

Bust a cap in Saddam Hussein's ass. Bah!

[imitating Saddam Hussein] Oh, my zebony-lebon bro..

Marlon, shut up.

♪ When I fall in love ♪

♪ It will be forever ♪

♪ Or I'll never ♪

♪ Fall in love ♪

♪ In this restless world ♪

♪ We live and love 'em ♪♪

Hey, I'll be back.

[instrumental music]

You alright, kid?

Yeah.

Feels like this little man's just kickin' me

in my heart with some Timberlands.

It's alright.

You can let it out, man, I'll take

my shirt to the dry cleaners.

[Marlon blows nose]

[sniffling]

I know it's hard on you, son, but you'll see her again.

U-unless we go to war.

Then you'll see half of her.

- Y'all-- - Hey!

Cab is runnin', I gotta go.

Marlon..

...I wanted to apologize.

It was never about you, I just didn't want

anybody interfering with my sister's future.

You forgive me?

Maybe.

I know what you did and I just wanna say thank you.

- I forgive you, Dee. - Okay.

- We both cared about her a lot. - Yeah.

Don't worry.

Me and Nat, we're gonna see a whole lot of each other.

See, uh..

...I'm pregnant.

Yeah, girl. This night belongs to me and you.

Got all your favorites, you know

some candlelight, some champagne.

I brought protection. Booyeah.

Some Armorall. Yeah.

Damn, you look good in a uniform. Come here.

Blowsy, missed you, baby.

So good to have you in my arms.

I'mma tear you up. Get over here.

(Shawn) Look up, Marlon, say cheese.