Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

There she goes. Smooth as rayon.

I hope you boys brought your money.

'Cause tonight I'm cleanin' you out like a prune juice smoothie.

You need to clean them teeth, like the dentist.

Looks like you had Captain Crunch for breakfast.

Nice try. Captain Crunch was yesterday's breakfast.

My turn, huggy bear.

Excuse me, big chops.

Take your time, baby.

Just relax, don't let nothin' throw your game.

Do your thing.

Take your time, baby. You got all night.

Feel the force.

Boy, you about to feel the force in a minute.

We've been tryin' to beat these guys for a month now.

Hey, don't blame me for your bad shot. I told you to focus.

- Next time, baby. - Not again, not again.

Thought you're speaking like that.

It's your turn, Minnesota fatso.

I told you, man, I ain't fat, kid.

I'm just short for my weight, man.

Hey, well, turn some of that fat this way

you'd be eight feet tall.

Could you let me shoot, man?

Go on and shoot, Hootie and the Bloated Fish.

I swear, we got the game, baby. We got the game.

- Y'all ain't gonna throw me. - 'Alright.'

Y'all ain't throwin' me off.

Ha ha. Nice jump, Free Willy.

There she blows!

[both laughing]

Y'all messed up now.

I've been practicin' this shot for over a month now.

Whoo!

Check it out.

Huh!

- TC! - TC!

- Yeah, cough! - Ooh!

Okay, you alright?

Who's turned on the disco ball?

Man! I know he can't play like this.

Mo, what do you have to say for yourself?

We win! Ha ha!

[theme song]

♪ We're brothers ♪

♪ We're happy and we're singin' and we're colored ♪

♪ Give me a high five ♪♪

(male #1) 'Alright cut and print. Beautiful, guys!'

'Dynamite. That is..'

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

Alright, kid. We're tied with Dupree and TC.

And next week is the tie breaker.

So if you wanna win, you better practice.

What do you think I'm doing?

Orange ball, corner pocket.

We win. Whoa! The crowd goes crazy.

- Whoa! - What are you doing?

Practicing.

I said practice pool, not fool.

Hey, Shawn, I'll have "The Journal."

Hey, Parker.

Yo, man, I read that article

they wrote on you in "Fortune" magazine.

Wall Street, new young lion, Parker Verrel.

Yo, that was fat, kid.

They made way too much out of that genius thing.

You know buy low, sell high. Blah blah blah.

Hey, man, I thought it was pretty cool.

Yo, I did not know you went to Philmore High.

- Yeah. - That's my school, baby.

- Hey, a fellow alumn. - Yeah.

Go, Mustangs! Yeah!

[laughs]

Nah, we didn't do all that.

Come on, Sea Biscuit, I got ten bucks ridin' on ya.

This is my brother, Marlon. You'll have to excuse him.

He was eight months premature.

What's up, baby?

We're cool, man.

Yeah, I-I've seen you around.

In fact, I think I've seen you sneaking out of the ladies room.

Oh, you know, I was just writin' my numbers on the stalls.

Yo, man, so I cannot believe you graduated from Philmore High

and you blowin' up the way you are.

You just blowin' up, man. Out of here.

Anything's possible, right?

I-in fact, I used to deliver newspapers, magazines.

- Etcetera, etcetera. - Really?

Yeah, back when I was 11.

By the time I was your age, I spearheaded

my first corporate takeover.

And then I just got Wall Street fever.

And then whoopsie-doodle, you know.

Hey, I-I know what you mean.

I mean, I started out with just one newsstand.

And all of a sudden, cock-a-doodle.

Now I own several around the tri-state area

and I'm making p-p-pucks.

Now, that's very impressive.

Here's my business card.

You need any advice, give me a call.

And they say I'm a genius. Hah!

- I'll see you later. - Not unless, I see you first.

Go-o-o, Mustangs!

Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!

Whoa. Hey, hey. Wait.

- You about to get trampled. - Alright, alright.

What's that with you and corn doggy-dog?

Wall Street baby, Wall Street.

Are you crazy? Parker's got it going on, kid.

He drives a Porsche, he has a house in New Hampton

and he dates nothing but models.

Now that's a corn-dog, you can put a stick in me

and dip me inside somebody anytime, child.

Hey, look here, I still say he's a stuck up snob, alright.

Uh, by the way, would you like me

to go pick up some cash from one of your

other newsstands in the tri-state area

Mr. J. Paul Ghetto?

Alright, alright. Alright.

So maybe I exaggerated just a little bit.

But, yo, I'm trying to get in good with this guy, man.

You know that Parker's only 35 years old

and he nets seven figures.

- You know what that makes him? - Yeah, a crack dealer.

[instrumental music]

Hey, I gotta sure-fire way of beatin'

TC and Dupree in that pool game tomorrow.

Marlon, I hope this isn't another

one of your stupid ideas.

Um-um. It's real, kid. Listen.

We gonna call TC's parole officer, right?

And have him arrested for gamblin'.

[laughs]

Yeah. And then how are we gonna get our money?

Oh, yeah.

- I'm gonna work on that one. - Yeah.

I am fed up with this old plunger.

That kitchen sink backs up more often than your mama.

Why don't you just call the building manager, pop?

Mr. Neidermeyer hasn't responded to a single one of my requests.

- Man, that stinks. - I know.

He raised my rent, and this is the service I get?

No, I mean that plunger, it stinks, man.

And look, y-you drippin' all over my muffin. It's drippin'.

- Oh, picky-picky-picky. - I can't eat that.

Well, I sure can.

[instrumental music]

Hey, thanks for the lunch.

I loved dinin' at the St. George club.

I never seen so many VIP's in my life.

George Steniberner, Donald Trump.

Oh-oh, FYI, you know the stock from that computer company

I told you about, went up again.

A-okay, I'll have my CPA wire that money in

from one of my corporate accounts, ASAP.

Ha ha. Well, have him move quickly.

Based on the PNL's, those PC's are moving PDQ.

And don't miss out on that IPO.

Hey, what you say we have a BMW

see some TNA over at the Triple X?

That'd be super.

Hey, Parker. Pardon me.

Would you happen to have some Grey Poupon.

Let that be a lesson to you, Shawn. Never hire a relative.

Tell that to the Wayan's family.

[both laugh]

So, h-hey, Shawn

some of the members at the club really seem to spark to you.

And good connections never hurt a growing business.

I'm not gonna promise anything

but I think can get you into the club.

- Me? In the St. George Club? - Hmm, hmm.

- I'd be honored. - As you should be.

It is the most prestigious business club in the city.

There's a new members reception Wednesday night.

- I'll be your sponsor. - Super.

Oh, wait, Wednesday?

My brother and I have this pool tournament we play every week.

Pool?

You can play pool with your brother anytime.

Membership in the St. George club could make your career.

It's really a no brainer but

you wanna think about it.

[instrumental music]

Tell you, Shawn, with this new power shaft 2000

I'm beatin' everything in sight.

Yep, I'm gonna take that $200 and put it down

on an brand new pair of Air Jordan's.

What's goin' on, young buck?

Hey, it's Isaac, from "The Love Boat."

I can't get this kamarband to stay on at all.

Well, am I in a dilly of a pickle?

- Dilly of a who? - Dilly of a pickle.

- 'Oh, my--' - Duh!

I thought you're dressin' up for a big game but..

...you gettin' little ridiculous.

Oh, uh, I'm not gonna be able to make it to the game tonight.

Parker invited me to a reception at the St. George Club.

You what? So you gonna peace me out for a bunch of yuppies?

Marlon, don't you understand

this is a big opportunity for me?

Oh, kid, you changed, man. Look at you.

You lyin' about your business, you're dressin' different.

You're talkin' different.

Next thing you know, you'll be doin' this dance.

Hey, do that again. I've been tryin' to get that all day.

I got this one.

This ain't cool, Shawn.

This game is important to me, man.

We've waited two months to beat TC and Dupree.

And you're just gonna peace me out like this, man?

Shawn, this game is important to me, kid.

Listen to what you just said. It's important toyou.

I've outgrown it.

[instrumental music]

(John) Marlon, I thought you'd be going to your big pool game tonight.

Yeah, I was. And Shawn peaced me out.

So we had to forfeit.

- He left you high and dry? - Mm-hmm.

Pop, I hate to say it, man. Shawn done gone bougie.

Sir Diddy?

Bourgeois.

Pop, listen, I even caught him

watchin', "The Friends" the other night.

- That is bad. - Mm-hmm.

What was so all fine important

that he had to miss his date with you fellas?

Check this out.

A stupid membership to the St. George club.

They want Shawn at the St. George club?

Yeah!

Man, to hell with ya'll.

No offence, Marlon, but 20 years from now

when you, TC and Dupree

are drinking 40s around a flaming trash can

Shawn would be makin' millions.

Now why would I take offence to that?

That's my boy.

♪ Well he's movin' on up ♪

♪ To the East side ♪

♪ To one man apartment in the sky ♪♪

Hey, wait, don't. D-don't you do that on me, brother man. No.

Okay, okay, pop, okay.

- Is he gone? - Yes.

Boy, grandma, you don't leave one ant buggin' out around here.

Why don't you take me down to the pool hole?

You been dippin' in that NyQuil again?

Na-ah, I'm serious.

I may not look like it, but I play a mean game of nine-ball.

I was women state champion, Ohio two years in a row.

That's how I put your grandpa through college.

Get the...outta here.

And that's also how I paid for my arm tuck.

I've been noticin' you been wearing lotta tank tops lately.

Come on, flappy, look here.

Grab your coat, get your teeth.

I got 'em.

We gotta pool tournament to go to.

[instrumental music]

Cheese and crackers, this place is huge.

Reading area, smokin' area.

Hey, where's Benson?

Why don't you come with me to the sauna?

Hey, I wanna become a member

but not that bad.

It's a co-ed sauna, Shawn. Towel's optional.

Huh, then again I do need to open up my pores.

[instrumental music]

I don't know if we can accept

last minute substitution like this.

Oh, come on now, TC

don't tell me you're scared of a old lady.

- Ahem. - You know..

Marlon, why'd you get your grandmother

in a place like this anyway?

A sweet lady like yourself.

Shut your pie hole, and rack 'em up, son.

Seem like a challenge to me.

Say..

...why don't we just double the bet?

Oh, it's on, baby. It's on.

Grandma, let's get all up in 'em, girl.

Do it, grandma. Aah.

[laughs]

(Ellington) Yes! Ha ha ha!

Uh, grandma, grandma. Uh, the money is down.

You could stop hustlin' and get some playin'.

I'm not hustlin', usually it takes me two shots

to get the ball that far.

Uh, grandma, can I talk to you?

Grandma, what are you doin'? You told me you could play.

- I lied. - You lied. Why?

'Cause if I hadn't you wouldn't have taken me out.

Nobody ever takes me any place.

Come on, grandma, this ain't no time to get sentimental.

Grandma, I got $400 ridin' on this game.

You know, how many 25 set movies

I can see with that, grandma?

We gonna win it all back at shuffle board.

I play the heck outta that game.

Whoo!

Okay, grandma.

I'mma hide your teeth and feed you jaw breakers.

Hey, hey, fellows, well met?

This is Shawn Williams.

Meet Fenton and Jennifer.

Give me five.

I'm sorry, I only have a 20.

Hi, Shawn, uh, we were just talking about

putting together a squash team. Interested?

Oh, I don't like squash.

Call me when you start the collard green team.

So, what is it exactly that you do?

Ah, well, I dabble in newspapers and stuff.

Now, don't be modest, Shawn.

He owns several newsstands and he tells me

he's acquiring a cable station.

Really? That's fantastic.

Yes, isn't it? Uh..

I don't like to talk about it, you know.

That insider trading stuff.

So, Parker tells us you're in the market.

What do you think of pork bellies?

I love 'em with hot sauce.

Aah, this drink put me right where I need to be.

Where's that? Over 400 pounds?

I'd rather be over 400 pounds

than a sell-out like your brother.

- Yeah. - He's got some nerve, man.

You know, it's like we weren't good enough for him, you know.

Like we have no class.

Yeah, man, I hate to say it though, kid

but your brother's sellin' out.

- You understand? - Yeah, I know.

Man, he's hangin' out with all these rich people who got goals.

It's like some wack code or somethin'.

He used to be right here chillin' with us, right?

You know, if he's changin' as much as you say

you can kiss him goodbye.

He's a lost case, kid.

Tradin' his pool stick in for a polo mallet.

I mean, what part of the game is that?

Mm-mm, he turnin' into the third Gumbo Brother.

Hey, hey, hey.

[speaking in foreign language]

Whoa!

Our brother ain't no Gumbo Brother. He's a Williams.

Now, come on, let's go down there and save him

before he starts tyin' his sweaters around his neck.

What's the matter with that bro?

Come on, grandma, let's be out.

Uh.. He meant aunty.

Come here, baby.

Why don't you just go somewhere for a few minutes?

Grandma's just socializing.

Girl's got it in you. Come on.

Boy, you don't need that.

Sorry, sir. Members only.

Uh, uh, I am a member.

I just don't have my membership card on me right now.

You know, I can prove, I'm a member now.

Don't think I can't. I can prove I'm a member.

I got a tattoo of initiation.

That polo player. You wanna see it? Whoo!

I'm afraid you're gonna have to leave.

I don't like throwin' my weight around.

But I'm Clash Thomas's son.

Can't you see the resemblance, come on?

Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.

Your father's in the back.

Respect. Respect.

[instrumental music]

Now, here's how the scam..

...the investment works.

See, I'm at the top of the pyramid.

So, you give me a $1000.

And then you get two friends to give me a $1000 and..

What are you doing?

We are here to concentrate on a mission.

That is to find my, my, my..

Say, girl, is it hot in here

or is it just you?

Oh, see now, if I had a gold card

your uppity ass would be talkin' to me, huh.

What's that guy doing at the buffet table?

Good Lord, he's putting Rumaki in his pocket.

Dupree, eh, Dupree.

Isn't that your brother?

[sighs] My God.

He must have followed me here.

Don't worry. I'll handle this matter.

What are you doing, notorious P-I-G?

We're supposed to be here to find my brother.

Yeah, I'm lookin' for him.

And I'm gonna check the dessert table next.

Problem with that? Matter of fact, there you go, right there.

You understand me? Yeah, found him.

Marlon, what the hell are you doing?

- You tryin' to blow it for me? - No!

I'm here to save your soul, brother.

You are embarrassing me, man. Why don't you just get lost?

- Hit the road, Jack. - Hit the road, Jack?

Wha-What.. Shawn, this ain't you.

It is so.

It is not. I can prove it.

What's your favorite movie? Hmm?

"The Brady Bunch."

Marsha, Marsha, Marsha.

Negro, I'm your brother.

What is your favorite show?

Marlon, do not do this to me.

♪ Who's that black private dick ♪

♪ Who's the sex machine with all the chicks.. ♪

Magnum?

♪ Shaft ♪

♪ Can you dig it ♪

♪ Who is the man ♪

♪ Who'll risk his life for a brother man yeah ♪

♪ Shaft ♪ ♪ Right on ♪

♪ They say that cat Shaft is one bad mother.. ♪

- Will you shut your mouth? - I'm just talking about Shaft.

♪ Doo-doo-do doo-doo-do do-do-do ♪

♪ Doo-doo-do doo-doo-do do-do-do ♪

♪ He's a complicated man ♪

♪ But no one understands him but his woman ♪♪

[scatting]

Excuse me.

Excuse me!

[continues scatting]

Would you stop that?

Shawn, what's going on here?

Look, I gotta come clean, y'all.

I love Shaft. I watch BET.

Hell, I even thought OJ was framed.

The glove don't fit, you must acquit, brother.

I don't own several newsstands

and I don't have any cable companies.

Hell, I wouldn't even have cable if it wasn't for TC.

[squealing]

Wow, Shawn, I had no idea.

Hey, look, Parker, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you.

I wanna thank you for...giving me a shot.

- I'll be going now. - Well, at least we tried.

Hey, don't give up on me yet.

A lot can happen in a couple of years.

I'll tell you one thing.

When I do come back..

...I'mma get in because of who I am.

And not who I pretend to be.

Well, then I guess I'll see you around, Shawn.

Not if I see you first.

Proud of you, baby. This is what you represent.

I appreciate you coming to get me and keeping me real, kid.

Oh. I thought I lost you for a minute, brother.

I ain't want no buyin' out for a brother.

[both laughing]

Yo! But you gotta understand something, kid.

I got goals, G, and I'mma keep on movin' up.

Don't worry, when I get there, I'm taking you with me.

Ain't that somethin'?

See, now-now-now..

Now, now, what if I get there first?

Then I'm gonna freeload off your behind.

I can dig it.

I'm tellin' you fools, I wasn't lyin' before.

- I really can play. - Let me get this straight.

You gonna hit the top ball without hitting the other two?

- That's right. - Impossible.

Nah. No way. You're doin' too much, granny.

You're doin' too much.

I'll bet you $200 she does.

I'll bet you four honey loves.

Oh, you're on.

That's it. And take this for the lunch, baby.

[indistinct chatter]

(Shawn) Look up, Marlon, say "Cheese."