All language subtitles for The.Wayans.Bros.S03E03_English

[instrumental music]

There she goes.
Smooth as rayon.

I hope you boys
brought your money.

'Cause tonight I'm cleanin' you
out like a prune juice smoothie.

You need to clean them
teeth,
like the dentist.

Looks like you had
Captain Crunch for breakfast.

Nice try. Captain Crunch
was yesterday's
breakfast.

My turn, huggy bear.

Excuse me, big chops.

Take your time, baby.

Just relax, don't let
nothin'
throw your game.

Do your thing.

Take your time,
baby.
You got all night.

Feel the force.

Boy, you about to feel
the force in a minute.

We've been tryin' to beat
these guys for a month now.

Hey, don't blame me for
your
bad shot. I told you to
focus.

- Next time, baby.
- Not again, not again.

Thought you're
speaking
like that.

It's your turn,
Minnesota fatso.

I told you, man,
I ain't fat, kid.

I'm just short
for my weight,
man.

Hey, well, turn some
of that fat this way

you'd be eight feet tall.

Could you let me shoot, man?

Go on and shoot,
Hootie and the Bloated
Fish.

I swear, we got the game,
baby.
We got the game.

- Y'all ain't gonna throw me.
- 'Alright.'

Y'all ain't
throwin' me
off.

Ha ha.
Nice jump, Free Willy.

There she blows!

[both laughing]

Y'all messed up now.

I've been practicin' this
shot
for over a month now.

Whoo!

Check it out.

Huh!

- TC!
- TC!

- Yeah, cough!
- Ooh!

Okay, you alright?

Who's turned on
the disco ball?

Man! I know he can't
play like this.

Mo, what do you have
to say for yourself?

We win! Ha ha!

[theme song]

♪ We're brothers ♪

♪ We're happy and we're
singin'
and we're colored ♪

♪ Give me a high five ♪♪

(male #1)
'Alright cut and print.
Beautiful, guys!'

'Dynamite. That is..'

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

Alright, kid.
We're tied with Dupree and TC.

And next week
is the tie
breaker.

So if you wanna win,
you better practice.

What do you think I'm doing?

Orange ball,
corner pocket.

We win. Whoa!
The crowd goes crazy.

- Whoa!
- What are you doing?

Practicing.

I said practice pool,
not fool.

Hey, Shawn,
I'll have "The
Journal."

Hey, Parker.

Yo, man, I read that article

they wrote on you
in "Fortune" magazine.

Wall Street, new young lion,
Parker Verrel.

Yo, that was fat, kid.

They made way too much
out of that genius thing.

You know buy low, sell high.
Blah blah blah.

Hey, man, I thought
it was pretty cool.

Yo, I did not know you
went to Philmore High.

- Yeah.
- That's my school, baby.

- Hey, a fellow alumn.
- Yeah.

Go, Mustangs!
Yeah!

[laughs]

Nah, we didn't
do
all that.

Come on, Sea Biscuit,
I got ten bucks ridin' on ya.

This is my brother, Marlon.
You'll have to excuse him.

He was eight months
premature.

What's up, baby?

We're cool, man.

Yeah, I-I've seen you around.

In fact, I think I've seen you
sneaking out of the ladies
room.

Oh, you know, I was just
writin'
my numbers on the stalls.

Yo, man, so I cannot believe
you
graduated from Philmore High

and you blowin'
up
the way you are.

You just blowin' up,
man.
Out of here.

Anything's possible, right?

I-in fact, I used to
deliver
newspapers, magazines.

- Etcetera, etcetera.
- Really?

Yeah, back
when I was 11.

By the time I was your age,
I spearheaded

my first corporate takeover.

And then I just got
Wall Street fever.

And then whoopsie-doodle,
you know.

Hey, I-I know what you mean.

I mean, I started out
with just one
newsstand.

And all of a
sudden,
cock-a-doodle.

Now I own several
around
the tri-state area

and I'm making p-p-pucks.

Now, that's very impressive.

Here's my business card.

You need any advice,
give me a call.

And they say
I'm a genius.
Hah!

- I'll see you later.
- Not unless, I see you
first.

Go-o-o, Mustangs!

Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!

Whoa. Hey, hey. Wait.

- You about to get trampled.
- Alright, alright.

What's that with you
and corn doggy-dog?

Wall Street baby,
Wall Street.

Are you crazy?
Parker's got it going on, kid.

He drives a Porsche,
he has a house in New Hampton

and he dates nothing but models.

Now that's a corn-dog,
you can put a stick in me

and dip me inside somebody
anytime, child.

Hey, look here, I still say
he's a stuck up snob,
alright.

Uh, by the way,
would you like
me

to go pick up some
cash
from one of your

other newsstands
in the tri-state
area

Mr. J. Paul Ghetto?

Alright, alright. Alright.

So maybe I exaggerated
just a little bit.

But, yo, I'm trying to get
in good with this guy, man.

You know that Parker's
only 35 years old

and he nets seven figures.

- You know what that makes him?
- Yeah, a crack dealer.

[instrumental music]

Hey, I gotta sure-fire way
of beatin'

TC and Dupree
in that pool game tomorrow.

Marlon, I hope
this isn't
another

one of your stupid ideas.

Um-um.
It's real, kid. Listen.

We gonna call TC's
parole officer, right?

And have him arrested
for gamblin'.

[laughs]

Yeah. And then how are we
gonna get our money?

Oh, yeah.

- I'm gonna work on that one.
- Yeah.

I am fed up
with this old plunger.

That kitchen sink backs up
more often than your mama.

Why don't you just call
the building manager,
pop?

Mr. Neidermeyer hasn't responded
to a single one of my requests.

- Man, that stinks.
- I know.

He raised my rent,
and this is the service I
get?

No, I mean that
plunger,
it stinks, man.

And look, y-you drippin' all
over my muffin. It's
drippin'.

- Oh, picky-picky-picky.
- I can't eat that.

Well, I sure can.

[instrumental music]

Hey, thanks for
the lunch.

I loved dinin'
at the St. George club.

I never seen
so many VIP's in my life.

George Steniberner,
Donald Trump.

Oh-oh, FYI, you know the
stock
from that computer company

I told you
about,
went up again.

A-okay, I'll have my CPA
wire that money in

from one of my corporate
accounts, ASAP.

Ha ha.
Well, have him move quickly.

Based on the PNL's,
those PC's are moving PDQ.

And don't miss out
on that IPO.

Hey, what you say
we have a BMW

see some TNA
over at the Triple
X?

That'd be super.

Hey, Parker. Pardon me.

Would you happen to have
some Grey Poupon.

Let that be a lesson to you,
Shawn. Never hire a relative.

Tell that to
the Wayan's family.

[both laugh]

So, h-hey, Shawn

some of the members at the club
really seem to spark to you.

And good connections
never hurt a growing
business.

I'm not gonna promise anything

but I think can get
you
into the club.

- Me? In the St. George Club?
- Hmm, hmm.

- I'd be honored.
- As you should be.

It is the most prestigious
business club in the city.

There's a new members
reception Wednesday
night.

- I'll be your sponsor.
- Super.

Oh, wait, Wednesday?

My brother and I have this pool
tournament we play every week.

Pool?

You can play pool
with your brother
anytime.

Membership in the St. George
club could make your career.

It's really
a no brainer but

you wanna think about it.

[instrumental music]

Tell you, Shawn,
with this new power shaft 2000

I'm beatin' everything
in sight.

Yep, I'm gonna take that
$200 and put it down

on an brand new pair
of Air Jordan's.

What's goin' on,
young buck?

Hey, it's Isaac,
from "The Love Boat."

I can't get this kamarband
to stay on at all.

Well, am I in
a dilly of a pickle?

- Dilly of a who?
- Dilly of a pickle.

- 'Oh, my--'
- Duh!

I thought you're dressin'
up for a big game but..

...you gettin'
little ridiculous.

Oh, uh, I'm not gonna be able
to make it to the game
tonight.

Parker invited me to a
reception
at the St. George Club.

You what? So you gonna peace me
out for a bunch of yuppies?

Marlon, don't you understand

this is a big opportunity
for me?

Oh, kid, you changed,
man.
Look at you.

You lyin' about your business,
you're dressin' different.

You're talkin' different.

Next thing you know,
you'll be doin' this dance.

Hey, do that again. I've
been
tryin' to get that all
day.

I got this one.

This ain't cool, Shawn.

This game is important
to me, man.

We've waited two months
to beat TC and Dupree.

And you're just gonna peace me
out like this, man?

Shawn, this game
is important to me, kid.

Listen to what you just said.
It's important toyou.

I've outgrown it.

[instrumental music]

(John)
Marlon, I thought you'd be
going
to your big pool game tonight.

Yeah, I was.
And Shawn peaced me out.

So we had to forfeit.

- He left you high and dry?
- Mm-hmm.

Pop, I hate to say it, man.
Shawn done gone bougie.

Sir Diddy?

Bourgeois.

Pop, listen,
I even caught him

watchin', "The
Friends"
the other night.

- That is bad.
- Mm-hmm.

What was so all fine important

that he had to miss
his date with you fellas?

Check this out.

A stupid membership
to the St. George club.

They want Shawn
at the St. George club?

Yeah!

Man, to hell with ya'll.

No offence, Marlon,
but 20 years from now

when you, TC and Dupree

are drinking 40s
around
a flaming trash can

Shawn would be
makin'
millions.

Now why would I take
offence to that?

That's my boy.

♪ Well he's movin' on up ♪

♪ To the East side ♪

♪ To one man apartment
in the sky ♪♪

Hey, wait, don't. D-don't you
do
that on me, brother man. No.

Okay, okay, pop, okay.

- Is he gone?
- Yes.

Boy, grandma, you don't leave
one ant buggin' out around
here.

Why don't you take
me down to the pool hole?

You been dippin' in
that NyQuil again?

Na-ah, I'm serious.

I may not look like it, but I
play a mean game of nine-ball.

I was women state champion, Ohio
two years in a row.

That's how I put your
grandpa through college.

Get the...outta here.

And that's also how I paid
for my arm tuck.

I've been noticin' you been
wearing lotta tank tops
lately.

Come on, flappy, look here.

Grab your coat, get your teeth.

I got 'em.

We gotta pool
tournament
to go to.

[instrumental music]

Cheese and crackers,
this place is huge.

Reading area, smokin' area.

Hey, where's Benson?

Why don't you come with me
to the sauna?

Hey, I wanna become a member

but not that bad.

It's a co-ed sauna, Shawn.
Towel's optional.

Huh, then again I do
need
to open up my pores.

[instrumental music]

I don't know if we can accept

last minute
substitution like this.

Oh, come on now, TC

don't tell me you're scared
of a old lady.

- Ahem.
- You know..

Marlon, why'd you
get
your grandmother

in a place like this anyway?

A sweet lady like yourself.

Shut your pie hole,
and rack 'em up, son.

Seem like a challenge to me.

Say..

...why don't we just
double the bet?

Oh, it's on, baby.
It's on.

Grandma, let's get all
up
in 'em, girl.

Do it, grandma. Aah.

[laughs]

(Ellington)
Yes! Ha ha ha!

Uh, grandma, grandma.
Uh, the money is down.

You could stop
hustlin'
and get some
playin'.

I'm not hustlin',
usually it takes me two shots

to get the ball that far.

Uh, grandma,
can I talk to
you?

Grandma, what are you doin'?
You told me you could play.

- I lied.
- You lied. Why?

'Cause if I hadn't
you wouldn't have taken me out.

Nobody ever takes me
any place.

Come on, grandma, this ain't
no time to get sentimental.

Grandma, I got $400
ridin' on this game.

You know,
how many 25 set movies

I can see with that, grandma?

We gonna win it all back
at shuffle board.

I play the heck
outta that game.

Whoo!

Okay, grandma.

I'mma hide your teeth
and feed you jaw breakers.

Hey, hey, fellows, well met?

This is Shawn Williams.

Meet Fenton and Jennifer.

Give me five.

I'm sorry,
I only have a
20.

Hi, Shawn,
uh, we were just talking about

putting together
a squash team. Interested?

Oh, I don't like squash.

Call me when you start
the collard green team.

So, what is it exactly
that you do?

Ah, well, I dabble
in newspapers and
stuff.

Now, don't be modest, Shawn.

He owns several newsstands
and he tells me

he's acquiring
a cable station.

Really?
That's
fantastic.

Yes, isn't it? Uh..

I don't like to talk
about it, you know.

That insider trading stuff.

So, Parker tells us
you're in the market.

What do you think
of pork bellies?

I love 'em with hot sauce.

Aah, this drink put me
right where I need to be.

Where's that?
Over 400 pounds?

I'd rather be over 400 pounds

than a sell-out
like your brother.

- Yeah.
- He's got some nerve, man.

You know, it's like we weren't
good enough for him, you know.

Like we have no class.

Yeah, man, I hate to
say it though, kid

but your brother's
sellin' out.

- You understand?
- Yeah, I know.

Man, he's hangin' out with all
these rich people who got
goals.

It's like some wack code
or somethin'.

He used to be right here
chillin' with us, right?

You know, if he's changin'
as much as you say

you can kiss him goodbye.

He's a lost case, kid.

Tradin' his pool
stick in
for a polo mallet.

I mean, what part
of the game is
that?

Mm-mm, he turnin'
into the third Gumbo Brother.

Hey, hey, hey.

[speaking in foreign language]

Whoa!

Our brother ain't no
Gumbo Brother. He's a Williams.

Now, come on,
let's go down there and save
him

before he starts tyin'
his sweaters around his
neck.

What's the
matter
with that bro?

Come on, grandma,
let's be out.

Uh..
He meant aunty.

Come here, baby.

Why don't you just go somewhere
for a few minutes?

Grandma's just socializing.

Girl's got it in you.
Come on.

Boy, you don't need that.

Sorry, sir.
Members only.

Uh, uh, I am a member.

I just don't have my membership
card on me right now.

You know, I can prove,
I'm a member now.

Don't think I can't.
I can prove I'm a member.

I got a tattoo of initiation.

That polo player.
You wanna see it? Whoo!

I'm afraid you're
gonna have to leave.

I don't like throwin'
my weight around.

But I'm Clash Thomas's son.

Can't you see the resemblance,
come on?

Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.

Your father's in the back.

Respect.
Respect.

[instrumental music]

Now, here's how the scam..

...the investment works.

See, I'm at the
top
of the pyramid.

So, you give me a $1000.

And then you get two
friends
to give me a $1000 and..

What are you doing?

We are here to concentrate
on a mission.

That is to find my, my, my..

Say, girl,
is it hot in here

or is it just you?

Oh, see now,
if I had a gold card

your uppity ass
would be talkin' to me, huh.

What's that guy doing
at the buffet table?

Good Lord, he's
putting
Rumaki in his pocket.

Dupree, eh, Dupree.

Isn't that your brother?

[sighs]
My God.

He must have followed me here.

Don't worry.
I'll handle this
matter.

What are you
doing,
notorious P-I-G?

We're supposed to be
here
to find my brother.

Yeah, I'm lookin' for him.

And I'm gonna check
the dessert table next.

Problem with that? Matter of
fact, there you go, right
there.

You understand me?
Yeah, found him.

Marlon, what the
hell
are you doing?

- You tryin' to blow it for
me?
- No!

I'm here to save
your soul, brother.

You are embarrassing me, man.
Why don't you just get lost?

- Hit the road, Jack.
- Hit the road, Jack?

Wha-What..
Shawn, this ain't you.

It is so.

It is not.
I can prove it.

What's your favorite movie?
Hmm?

"The Brady Bunch."

Marsha, Marsha, Marsha.

Negro, I'm your brother.

What is your favorite show?

Marlon, do not do this to me.

♪ Who's that
black private dick ♪

♪ Who's the sex machine
with all the chicks.. ♪

Magnum?

♪ Shaft ♪

♪ Can you dig it ♪

♪ Who is the man ♪

♪ Who'll risk his life
for a brother man yeah ♪

♪ Shaft ♪
♪ Right on ♪

♪ They say that cat Shaft
is one bad mother.. ♪

- Will you shut your mouth?
- I'm just talking about
Shaft.

♪ Doo-doo-do doo-doo-do
do-do-do ♪

♪ Doo-doo-do doo-doo-do
do-do-do ♪

♪ He's a complicated man ♪

♪ But no one understands
him but his woman ♪♪

[scatting]

Excuse me.

Excuse me!

[continues scatting]

Would you stop that?

Shawn, what's going on here?

Look, I gotta
come clean, y'all.

I love Shaft.
I watch BET.

Hell, I even thought
OJ was framed.

The glove don't fit,
you must acquit, brother.

I don't own several
newsstands

and I don't have
any cable companies.

Hell, I wouldn't even have
cable
if it wasn't for TC.

[squealing]

Wow, Shawn, I had no idea.

Hey, look, Parker, I'm sorry
if I embarrassed you.

I wanna thank you
for...giving me a shot.

- I'll be going now.
- Well, at least we tried.

Hey, don't give up on me yet.

A lot can happen
in a couple of years.

I'll tell you one thing.

When I do come back..

...I'mma get in
because of who I am.

And not who
I pretend to be.

Well, then I guess
I'll see you around, Shawn.

Not if I see you first.

Proud of you, baby.
This is what you represent.

I appreciate you coming to
get
me and keeping me real, kid.

Oh. I thought I lost you
for a minute, brother.

I ain't want no
buyin' out for a brother.

[both laughing]

Yo! But you gotta
understand something,
kid.

I got goals, G,
and I'mma keep on movin'
up.

Don't worry, when I get
there,
I'm taking you with me.

Ain't that somethin'?

See, now-now-now..

Now, now, what if
I get there first?

Then I'm gonna freeload
off your behind.

I can dig it.

I'm tellin' you fools,
I wasn't lyin' before.

- I really can play.
- Let me get this straight.

You gonna hit the top ball
without hitting the other
two?

- That's right.
- Impossible.

Nah. No way.
You're doin' too much,
granny.

You're doin' too much.

I'll bet you $200 she does.

I'll bet you four honey loves.

Oh, you're on.

That's it. And take
this for the lunch, baby.

[indistinct chatter]

(Shawn)
Look up, Marlon, say
"Cheese."