Original subtitles

[music on recorder]

(Marlon) 'WB.'

Rivet.

Budweiser.

WB.

[music stops]

Hey, man, what are you doing?

What the hell are you doing, man?

It's 3:30 in the morning.

I'm practicin' for the dance contest

tomorrow night at the Tunnel.

[panting]

First prize is 2000 of them thangs.

Yeah, well, I don't care about them thangs. Okay?

We gotta get off for work in a couple of hours.

- Practice tomorrow. - Practice tomorrow?

Look here, Shawn.

If I want fame...fame costs.

And here's where I stop paying for it in sweat.

Shawn.

Alright. You know what? You're right.

My bad. I-I didn't realize how important it was to you.

- Thank you. - 'Go ahead, bro.'

- Get your groove on, man. - Thanks..

Yeah!

♪ Unh unh unh unh ♪

♪ To the east to the east ♪

♪ To the east to the east ♪

♪ To the west to the west ♪

♪ To the back to the back to the back ♪

♪ Oh ho-o-o ♪♪

[music continues]

Goodnight, Leroy.

♪ Too bad too bad too bad ♪♪

[theme song]

♪ We're brothers ♪

♪ We're happy and we're singing ♪

♪ And we're colored ♪

♪ Give me a high five ♪♪

(male #1) 'Alright, cut and print. Beautiful, guys.'

'Dynamite. That..'

♪ Girl what you got goin' on tonight? ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ Won't you just chill with me tonight ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ Girl what you got going on tonight? ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ Won't you just chill with me tonight ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ I got something.. ♪♪

Hi, peoples.

It's a wonderful day for a dance contest.

Who got those happy feet? Get 'em, pop.

Go, pop. Go, pop. Go, pop.

Hit that one flat, pop.

Hit that bad. Whoa!

Get low, get low, pop. Get low.

[laughing]

Ooh. Damn, kid. You look terrible.

Yeah, I wonder why.

Hey, you should try dancing.

It'll wake you right up. Turn that on.

[music on tape recorder]

(John) 'Go, Marlon.'

♪ Get busy get busy get busy ♪

♪ Go Marlon ♪

♪ It's your birthday ♪

♪ Get busy get busy ♪

♪ Get busy get busy ♪

♪ Go Marlon ♪♪

[music stops]

Now, look, what you did, Radio Raheem?

Why don't you get a cloth and clean that mess up?

You better peace out.

Shoo, that's your coffee.

You spilled it. You clean it!

I'mma be dancing.

♪ 'Cause I'm dancing ♪

♪ Dancing dance machine.. ♪

Alright. Get it up.

Get it up. Go on.

- 'Get it up.' - Oh, God! Aah.

'Get in there. Get in there.'

[laughing] That's what you get.

What was that called? The achy-breaky dance?

It ain't funny.

Ow!

This looks bad.

Oh, he did hit the floor pretty hard.

You guys better take him over to the Emergency Room.

- Come on. - Oh, no, no, no.

- Come on. - No hospitals.

- I hate doctors. - Okay. Alright.

[muttering] Oh, doctor, doctor! Doctor!

[instrumental music]

Okay, careful. Watch out for that cast.

[grunting]

Alright, Hop-along. Have a seat on the couch.

[rattling]

Shawn, would you help him down before he destroys the place.

Yo, G, watch where you're going.

I'm sorry.

I guess I'm not good at being an invalid.

Then again I wouldn't need this crutches

if it wasn't foryou.

Oh, come on, Tiny Tim.

It wasn't anybody's fault. Sometime accidents just happen.

How you think I got you two?

Pop, I'm never gonna be able to dance again, man.

Marlon, it's just a broken leg.

The doctor said you'll be fine in a month.

A month? Shawn, the dance contest is tonight, man!

And I had that $2000 all but won.

Well, cheer up, G.

It ain't like dance is the only thing you're good at.

I mean, you know, you can always go out there and, you know..

Mm-hmm.

I mean..

Just cheer up. That's what I mean.

That's right. That leg is gonna mend in no time.

Until then, we gonna wait on you hand in foot to make sure

you get everything you need. Right, Shawn?

No.

You know I've raised you better than that.

In this family, we look out for each other.

Marlon, we gonna be by your side every step of the way.

Good.

'Cause I got to go to the bathroom.

- He's all yours, son. - Peace out.

Do I look like Dr. Quinn, medicine woman?

You better get him some diapers.

Shawn, show some sympathy.

It was your coffee he slipped in.

Look at that helpless little face.

Lookin' more like his mama every day.

Bye.

[upbeat music]

Oh, no. Well, I'm just happy to be here at work

while I don't have to listen to Marlon nag.

- Hmm. - So who's watching Marlon?

Pops, he's a grown man.

He don't need nobody to watch him.

Besides, I left him a Barney tape.

You left him at home by himself?

That boy can't get around. What if he gets hurt?

Oh, pop, trust me.

He's not gonna be wanting to get around.

Not without these.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself, leaving that

poor defenseless child stuck on the sofa.

Break yourself. Break yourself, fool!

Break yourself. I said break yourself.

Marlon, Marlon. Where did you get the wheel chair?

Well, pop..

...after spending my morning like James Caan in "Misery."

Dragging my helpless body across the cold splintered floor..

...I came across Mr. Man's credit card.

Are you crazy? Well, I ain't paying for no wheelchair.

Too late, you dirty-birdy. You already did.

I told you, if you left him at home by himself..

...he's gonna get you in trouble.

Mmm. This wheelchair's snazzy.

If my mother had one of these, I wouldn't have to pull around

in that little red wagon.

Hey, Dee, if I had one of these for the dance contest yesterday

I still could've won.

Check this out.

[rapping]

♪ Ha.. ♪♪

[indistinct]

Get that ice, homies.

Guess who's got dance fever?

Why, Mike.. Wait.

Don't tell me you won that dance contest Deney Terrio.

Thanks to you, home-skillet.

You're my main competition.

Give me that. That belongs to me.

I don't know about all that, brother.

You're gonna have to beat this.

[scatting]

I'd like to beat it with a bat.

Ah, y'all are just jealous

'cause I was keeping it re-e-eal.

Anyway, I'd love to stay and rub it in

but I'm gonna take my monies and my..

[clears throat] ...honeys..

...to Atlantic City and get my freak goin'.

See ya. Wouldn't wanna be ya.

Damn, man! That's messed up.

Those would've been my monies and my honeys.

You owe me $2000.

You are trippin', "Ironside."

Look here, Shawn. I want my trophy.

My hoochie mamas, and my 2000 of them thangs.

Yeah? Well, I got news for you.

You ain't getting none of them thangs.

And if you don't like it, sue me.

Well, you know what?

That's exactly what I'm gonna do.

I'll see you in court, mister.

Come on, open the door.

Ain't you got no respect for the handicap?

Hey, anybody's got some jumper cables?

You better call "Crippled A."

[instrumental music]

I wonder where Marlon is.

Your case is up first.

Knowin' Marlon, he probably got busted

in his wheelchair with a hooker.

Make way. We have have a very sick man here.

[Marlon groans]

What the hell is going on?

I can't breathe.

No. I need mouth to mouth.

Oh, be careful, be careful. I'm fragile.

Okay.

[groans]

That man has made my life a living hell.

You can fake it all you want, bad actor.

You ain't gonna win this case. I got it locked up.

What makes you so sure?

Ah, my attorney.

[clears throat]

Greetings! Cats and clients.

T.C., you representing Shawn?

That's right. For free.

See, me and T.C. discovered we have somethin' in common.

What's that, stink breath?

Besides that.

We both wanna make you out to be

the lying snake that you really are.

Oh.

(male #2) 'All rise.'

The honorable Judge, Juanita Marshall, now presiding.

Damn bro, you can use a shot of helium.

Young man, can you rise?

Well, maybe if you toss my salad.

Be seated.

Okay, before we begin, let's get one thing straight.

This is a small-claims court. Not LA law.

Okay.

We have a lot of cases today.

So get in, get out and no one gets hurt.

Just the way I like it with my ladies.

Plaintiff is suing for $2000

in lost winnings from a dance contest.

The defendant is counter suing for $2000 in paid medical bills.

- What? You're suing me? - That's right.

You want to play hard, poor baby boy.

- Jerk. - Punk.

Gentlemen.

Let's get one thing clear.

No one speaks in this court unless I say so.

Well, he started it.

- I did not. - Did so.

I'll run you over with my wheelchair.

Try it.

[gavel thuds]

Don't make me come over there.

Alright, plaintiff, do you have your opening statement ready?

Yes, Your Honor.

Today I'll be calling witnesses to testify

that Shawn Williams, that man..

...is responsible for my..

...broken leg.

And who's responsible for you losing your damn mind?

Move to strike, Your Honor?

Sustained.

[screaming]

Order. You watch yourself.

Next time I'm gonna let him hit you.

So let I get this straight, Miss Baxter.

Not only did the defendant spill the coffee

but he actually laughed when I fell down and became

the helpless cripple that you see before you.

That's the way I saw it.

Thank you, Miss Baxter.

No further questions.

Big chops is all yours.

Now.

You're employed as the security guard in the lobby.

Is that correct, brown sugar?

Yes, that's right.

So your job is to watch and observe what goes on.

Isn't that so, my chocolate mountain?

Yes.

But, ebony pudding, you..

[gavel thuds]

Counselor.

One more characterization

of this witness as an African-American dessert..

...I will find you in contempt of court.

Understood, my baby Ruth.

[gavel thuds]

Five hundred dollars.

Do-do-do it, judge.

So, Miss Baxter.

And it is miss, isn't it?

I prefer mizz.

Either way you ain't got no man, right?

Well, I do date.

Now, you're under oath, Miss Baxter.

- Yes, I'm single. - Hmm.

And as a desperate and single woman

isn't it true that the only thing

that you observe in the lobby

are the tenderloins of my client?

Negro, are you out of your mind?

On June 21, did you not refer

to my client's posterior

as and I quote, "Bubblicious?"

- I was buying gum. - 'Oh.'

And were you buying gum on September 12

when you pinched his rope?

Uh, the...he-he had some lint on his back pocket

and I was just trying to get it off.

Ah.

Getting off, were you?

[stuttering] I-I mean.. I didn't mean.. I swear--

Oh, Miss Baxter.

Isn't it true that my client has refused your numerous advances?

I mean, isn't this just the revenge

of a woman's scorn?

Oh-oh..

[gavel thuds]

- Counselor? - Mm.

This line of questioning

is completely inappropriate.

Oh! I get it.

Oh, you sisters gotta stick together, huh?

Excuse me?

Are you implying that this court is biased?

Well, Your Honor, I don't see no ring on your finger.

How'd you like to see the inside of Rikers?

No, no, no..

...my caramel swirl.

[gavel thuds]

Bailiff, get him out of my sight.

With pleasure, Your Honor.

Hey, man! You can't manhandle me unless I say it's okay.

[gasps] Okay.

Mr. Williams..

...what is your relationship to the defendant?

- Shawn's my son. - Okay.

And what is your relationship to the plaintiff?

You're my son too.

Okay. Now, this next question can be difficult.

So I want you to take your time in answering, okay?

Who is your favorite son?

Shawn.

Well, at least I'm mom's favorite.

No, you're not. She like the dog.

Oh, oh, counselor, is this going anywhere?

[sobbing] I just wanna be loved by somebody, Your Honor.

Well, don't look at me.

Get on with the case.

Now, Mr. Williams, in your own words

would you kindly tell the court

what exactly did I slip on to sustain my injury?

- Coffee. - Okay.

And where did this coffee come from?

Columbia, actually.

It's the only kind I serve.

No. No, no, no. No, no, no.

Let me rephrase the question.

How did the coffee get on the floor?

It spilled out of Shawn's cup.

Ah-ha!

So you're saying that if Shawn

hadn't spilled that coffee

I would not be the pathetic cripple

you see before you today?

You'd still be pathetic.

Just answer the question, tacky suit.

Is Shawn responsible for my injury?

Well...I have to say yes.

Oh, pops, I thought you'd say I was your favorite.

Well, I'm sorry, son. I have to tell it the way I see it.

No further questions.

He's all yours.

(Marlon) 'Ow!'

Mr. Williams..

...you've been known to..

...have a drink or two every now and then

is that correct?

Well, everybody have a little taste.

You know, every now and then. You know that thing..

A little taste.

So, are you a drinker or not?

I wouldn't say that. You know, maybe--

Answer the question! Do you drink? Yes or no!

- Well, yes. - So youare

Yes, yes, yes!

I drink!

Calm yourself, old man.

Now, Your Honor..

...how can anybody take seriously

the mad ravings of admitted 50-year-old drunk!

I suggest that his testimony be stricken from the record.

Wait, just a minute! Wait a minute.

I wanna change my testimony.

[chuckles] I thought you might.

What do you wanna change it to, Ned the wino?

You are not my favorite son.

Marlon is.

Oh, father!

[indistinct mumbling]

I believe I've heard enough of this case to make a ruling.

Hold up, Your Honor, uh..

I'd like to call a witness to the stand.

Oh, alright. Make it quick.

Ladies and gentlemen of the court..

...Your Honor..

...I'd now like to call to the stand..

...Mr. Marlon Williams!

Ooh. W-wa-wait! What?

I object, Your Honor.

Haven't I suffered enough?

Not from where I sit.

- Mr. Williams? - Uh-huh.

Exactly, how long have you known the defendant?

[sighs]

All my life.

What up, G?

All of your life.

And isn't it true that on the day you were born

the defendant gave you his

favorite blanket in the hospital?

I don't recall.

You don't recall?

I was one-day-old and I was still suffering

from the pain of my circumcision.

Well, do you remember when you were two and a half..

...that the defendant gave you

a record player and a 45 of James Brown "Sexmachine?"

Maybe something like that.

And isn't it true that that was the very first time

you ever danced in your entire life?

Yes.

And isn't it true that..

...as soon as defendant

found out that you were injured

he rushed down to the hospital and held your hand

while they set your cast?

Yeah, that's true.

Then why the hell are you doing this to me, stupid?

Because you owe me, that's why.

[gavel thuds]

Alright, boys. That's it.

Look..

...you work together..

...you live together..

...you're obviously

from a very close-knit family.

This isn't about $2000.

Let's face it, between the two of you

you don't have two quarters to rub together.

And, Mr. Williams, tell me what's going on?

I'm glad you asked me that question because..

[gavel pounding]

So, diddy's a diddy is a diddy.

Skinny goof, you wanna talk?

It's like this, Your Honor.

Every time I try to do somethin'

is never good enough for Shawn.

E-everything I ever do, he puts me down.

No, Marlon, you're too dumb to go to medical school.

No, Marlon, you're too ugly to be a supermodel.

No, Marlon, you're too skinny to be a porno star.

Well, excuse me for living in reality.

But, Shawn, dancing is somethin' I can actually do.

And I'm a great dancer.

And I would've won that dance contest

if it hadn't been for you.

And not once did you ever tell me you were sorry, did you?

What?

So, that's it?

This is what it's all about, you got me down here

for a stupid apology?

Anyway, you still didn't say it, did you?

Marlon, I'm your brother.

You know exactly how I feel about you.

You just can't say it, can you?

Come on, Marlon, I ain't gonna sit here

and talk about my feelings and-and..

...get all soft in front of the judge and all these people.

I ain't no punk.

I'm sorry, Your Honor, I..

He just can't say it.

I guess, all this was just a waste of your time.

No.

You think?

Come on, G.

- I'm okay, man. - Come on, man.

Get off of me.

- Ahh! - Marlon?

- 'Ahh!' - 'Are you okay?'

[groans] I think so.

You pushed me off balance, man.

I'm sorry, G.

Shawn.

You said it.

[instrumental music]

He said sorry.

'That felt so good, Shawn.'

Your Honor, he said sorry to me.

and wanted to sue somebody?

Or are you just sittin' at home

on your big ol' booty

wanting to sue somebody?

Or have you ever broken into somebody's house

and twisteded your ankle on a children's toy?

- You can be constipated. - Can be constipated.

That's right, just call the law office of Shawn..

- And Marlon Williams'. - Williams'.

- At 1800, gank. - Gank.

(Shawn) Look up, Marlon. Say cheese!