Original subtitles

♪ Ah ♪

♪ Ah ah ♪

♪ Ah ah ♪

♪ Ah ah ♪♪

Okay, Shawn, I got your bouquets ready.

What's up, Claire? Looks like you got a nice little business

goin' on over there.

It's just for Valentine's Day.

I'll be gone on Friday. I'm back at the mortuary.

Hey, Marlon, that sounds like a place

where you could dig up a date.

Nah. That embalming fluid makes me dizzy.

So what do you want the cards to say?

Okay, on this one I want you to put

"To Stephanie

"My one and only valentine.

Love, Shawn."

And on the other one, I want you to put

"To Beverly

"My one and only valentine.

Love, Shawn."

[scoffs]

Shawn, it's guys like you

that are the backbone of the flower industry.

- We are? - 'Yeah.'

That's what FTD stands for.

Filthy Two-timin' Dogs.

Girl, you've been watching too much "Waiting to Exhale."

- Ohh! - Ohh!

[theme song]

♪ We're brothers ♪

♪ We're happy and we're singing' ♪

♪ And we're colored ♪

♪ Give me a high five ♪♪

(male #1) 'Alright, cut and print. Beautiful, guys.'

'Dynamite, that..'

♪ Girl what you got goin' on tonight? ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ Won't you just chill with me tonight ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ Girl what you got going on tonight? ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ Won't you just chill with me tonight ♪

♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪

♪ I got something.. ♪♪

Yo, kid, that's fat, you got two dates.

Hey, hey.

- Let me get one. - I can't.

- Now, let me get one.. - Get off my arm. No. You ca--

- Please! - No. I can't.

See, Stephanie, I really want to take.

But just in the case that falls through

Beverly's gonna be my backup.

Why does this always happen, man?

Here you are with two dates, and I ain't got none.

God, just don't make no sense.

Everybody knows I'm the cute one.

I hear you young tenders are havin'

a Valentine's Day party.

And you know that.

Everybody gonna be there, Dee.

I guess my invitation got lost in the mail.

[laughs]

No. We just didn't send you one.

Um, um, um..

See, Dee, you were at the top of our list, girl, but, uh

i-i-it's a couple's only thing, you know how it is.

You think I can't drum up a date

to bring me to your two-bit party?

I got someone in my life.

Someone who is very devoted to me.

Dee, don't bring your mama.

Oh.

[instrumental music]

Hey, sweet thing, look here.

I'mma give you a choice.

You can either pay this bill

or you can come with me to the Valentine's Day party

tomorrow night.

Check please.

So, Maurice, do you have a valentine?

Well, there's a beautiful woman who works in this building

but...I'm too shy to ask her out.

Yo, what-what does she look like? Maybe I know her.

Well, she's tall

she has shiny black hair like licorice.

Skin as smooth as a Hershey bar.

Eyes like two honey-roasted almonds.

Fool, you're not in love, you're just hungry.

Yeah. Hungry for Dee.

Dee?

You're talkin' about Dee Baxter?

Oh, come on, Marlon.

Dee's a good woman.

I say go for it, Maurice.

- Ask her out. - I can't.

I mean, I'm just a custodian, she's a security guard.

I mean, she wouldn't go out with nobody like me.

I mean, why am I torturing myself?

Happy Valentine's Day.

Hey, Maurice?

I love you, man.

Marlon, are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

Hookers.

No.

We'll say it with flowers.

I'll send Dee a bouquet and sign it, "From a secret admirer."

She'd get all excited.

Maurice step in and close the deal.

What do you think about that?

Player, brother.

Hey, pop, you're pretty good at playing cupid.

Well, so why don't you hook me up?

Well, maybe I can.

You like 'em tall and slender?

With a thick luscious weave, you can run your fingers through?

And you know that.

[instrumental music]

[horn honking]

Look, Shawn, you can't lock me out of the crib

just 'cause I can't get a date.

I pay rent too.

Sometimes.

Look, Marlon, you know every single year

I throw this party and it's always couples only.

Okay, then, let me be the bartender.

Look, Shawn, I could be like Isaac, see.

Come on, man. I'll get all the girls all liquored up.

Nah, forget it. You ain't goin' out like you did last year.

Showin' up all lonely, hittin' on other guys' dates.

You almost got your butt kicked.

Hey, thanks for pullin' homegirl off me.

Well, ma, it looks like another Valentine's Day

with you, me, and Angela Lansbury.

I'll bring home the Jiffy Pop and ointment.

Uh...well, I guess

I could catch a movie, why?

What you mean you got a date, old woman?

Oh, Shawn, you wonderful man.

What's up, Beverly? I take it you got my flowers, girl.

Mm-hmm. What a wonderful way to ask me to your party.

Uh, yeah. Uh, I mean, I guess.

I mean, you know, that is if I'm still gonna have it.

'Cause there's a slight chance that I-I won't.

Well, you better hurry up and make up your mind.

'Cause this girl's not gonna wait too much longer.

Hey, hey, hey, girl, what happened to

Shawn-you-wonderful-man thing?

That's what I wanna know.

Man, there ain't nothin' out there.

Every sister who ain't hooked up to an IV got a date.

My mother's hooked up to an IV and she got a date.

Cheer up, Marlon.

You know what they say

"Women are like buses."

Yeah.

You gotta pay to ride 'em.

I was gonna give you some advice but now I think

I'm just gonna hit you.

Stop that.

Why can't I be more like Shawn?

Why can't you be more like Maurice and clean that floor?

Come on, pop, I'm serious.

Pop, Shawn got two dates.

One girl he's takin' to the party

and another broad on stand by.

Excuse me, are you talkin' about Shawn Williams?

Yeah, why? Who are you?

I'm the stand by.

Damn, Stephanie, I was countin' on you, girl.

What do you mean I was your backup?

Girl, you can't be playin' people like this.

I got feelings too.

Now, I'll forget you then. Peace out.

Oh, your date fell through? Too bad.

No, it's not, 'cause I got a backup.

Well, I'm glad, you do.

'Cause I hate to miss you at the party tonight.

You got a date?

[chuckles] Six foot one, full of fun.

Man, like you gettin' in

that chocolate pudding, boy.

Y-yeah!

I figured I'd come to your place.

I might meet someone interesting.

Oh, man, this is lovely, this is cool.

Everybody got a date except Marlon.

Hey, what's up, Beverly?

You know, today is your lucky day, girl.

- Oh, really? - That's right.

See, I've decided to have my party.

I want you to be there.

[chuckles] Oh, I'll be there, alright.

Ah, cool, cool.

With Marlon. He's my date.

[instrumental music]

What do you mean you're goin' with Marlon?

Uh, maybe this will clear it up for you.

I'll see you at 8:00.

Wait, wait, wait.

I can't believe this.

She dumped me for you.

Yeah, that's right, baby.

[laughs]

Looks like someone finally said yes to me

and no to you.

Yo, kid, you're fallin' off money.

Yo. Yo, Mike, you see this?

You see, you see that? He stole my date.

Oh, negro, please. Ain't nobody steal nothin' from you.

Shoot, G. You didn't even ask her out.

I never got the chance.

I just got date-jacked by my own little brother.

Next time, use the club.

Forget it, you can have her.

You don't put a club on a pinto.

You're just jealous.

That's right. You're jealous 'cause I got a date

and you got nothing, yeah.

I got Beverly and you got nothing!

I'm going to get some panty drawers..

...and you're getting nothing!

Yeah? I'll fire your little ass from this newsstand.

And then you'll have nothing!

Ah, don't worry, brother.

I got your back.

Since I hooked up with big chocolate over here

I'll be glad to share my cook up.

What are you talkin' about?

Check it, G.

'"Coco's therapeutic full body massage.'

'Outcalls only."'

I ain't never paid for it, I ain't gonna start.

Alright, brother. It's all on you.

You can give Coco a call

or you can show up at the party with nothing!

Oh, Dee. Hey, there you are.

Hold up for a second.

These are for you.

For me? Oh, they're beautiful!

Who they from?

Pops sent them.

That is so sweet.

He probably wanted to cheer me up

when he thought I didn't have a date.

Not that Mike's a date.

Well, he left a card.

Oh, let me see what he says.

"Dearest Dee..

Dearest?

Uh.

"...for months I've watched you.

"Too shy to tell you how I really feel.

"I long to be near you.

To hold you in my arms."

Mmm, I shouldn't be hearin' this.

Me either.

Oh, hi, sweet Dee.

Whoo-whoo!

These are beautiful flowers.

Must be from someone who likes you a lot, baby.

The smutty old fool

tryin' to cheat on his wife on Valentine's Day.

Unh.

Dee, you still got it, girl.

Excuse me, I'd like this magazine.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sure, sweetness, it'll be a pleasure.

And a happy Valentine's Day to you.

Thank you.

Anybody ever told you that, uh

you look like Janet Jackson?

I hear that all the time.

Ahem, yeah, right, um..

...you look like a model.

Oh, I get that a lot too.

So in short, girl, basically, what I'm tryin' to say is

you remind me of my jeep.

You know, why don't me and you hook up tonight?

- Tonight? - Yeah.

It's Valentine's.

Everybody's got a date tonight.

[gasps] Except you.

Obviously.

[laughing]

[laughing]

♪ Ah ♪

♪ Ah ♪♪

(Dee) 'Maurice.'

Could you get rid of these flowers for me, please?

Why?

A lady as nice lookin' as you deserve flowers

on Valentine's.

Not from an old letch, I don't.

Somebody been bothering you, Miss Baxter?

- It's Pops. - Pops!

Shh!

Not Pops from the diner?

Here's the note.

"Secret admirer."

Why, that sneaky old skunk.

You know I always had a funny feelin'

he was lookin' at me.

Like, like he was undressin' me with his eyes.

Shameful!

Don't worry, Miss Baxter.

Leave everything to me.

Maurice, don't be too hard on him now.

He can't help hisself.

I'm here all day.

Oh, Shawn. While you were out, Tamika called.

Really? What'd she say?

She's busy tonight.

Give her a call tomorrow.

Man, I can't believe this.

Over five million women in New York City

and I can't get a date.

Besides, it's all good though.

I ain't slippin'.

You know, I'm just sit back, chill, relax.

I ain't sweatin' it.

Coco.

Huh? 24 hours a day.

Toll free.

(Shawn) 'You know, Claire, those are some beautiful flowers, girl.'

You know, you could do that for a livin'.

Glad you like 'em.

You know what? It'd be a damn shame to let them things

go to waste on a party.

I was thinkin' that maybe we, you know, we could

take 'em downtown to the children's hospital

and cheer up a couple of little kiddies.

Why, Shawn, if I didn't know you were a low-down dirty dog

I would think you were human.

Of course, I'm human.

They're gonna give us $10 a bunch for 'em.

I'm only playin'.

Well, you enjoy your party.

[door opens]

- Hey, Pops. - Howdy-do.

Hey, son, your mama sent me over here

with some cookies for your party.

And look at 'em, they all shaped like little hearts.

They even got little arteries and ventricles.

Man, that woman's been watching too much "ER."

Anything I can do to help out?

Not unless if you wanna be the bartender.

Boy, are you crazy?

This is Valentine's Day.

The most romantic day of the year.

And your poor mama's sittin' at home alone.

Just the way I like it. Where's that corkscrew?

[laughing]

Hello, father.

Hey, kid.

How do you like this jacket?

I should, it's mine.

First you steal my girl and now you're gonna steal my clothes?

Damn. It ain't your day, is it?

I hope you like that jacket 'cause that's the one

you're gonna be buried in.

- What you gonna do, boy, what? - 'Hey!'

Y'all stop that fightin' over there.

Oh, don't worry, pop, 'cause when Beverly gets here

it's gonna be nothin' but lovin'. Hah.

Look, Marlon, the only reason why Beverly is goin' out

with you is to get back at me, okay?

So she starts that kissin' or huggin'

or touchin' or anything else, it's all out of anger.

Yeah, well, I hope she's really mad tonight.

You're the one that's gonna be mad

'cause when you see my date Coco

you gonna wanna peace Beverly out.

Coco.

Come on, man, what you finally dig somebody

up in the last minute?

Oh-ho-ho, brother. Not just somebody.

She's Halle Berry, Vanessa Williams

and Salt-N-Pepa all rolled up into one, boy.

Hey.

Throw a little Lena Horne in that mix, I'm good to go.

[laughing]

♪ Ah ♪♪

How you do? What's happenin', man?

Hey, what's up, Beverly?

Happy Valentine's Day, Marlon.

Oh, I don't know about everybody else, but, uh, I'm happy.

You know, uh, I'm in a really wild mood.

So hope you don't get tired easily.

Oh, girl, I can keep up with you.

- And you know what? - Huh?

If I pass out, feel free to violate me.

Mmm.

[instrumental music]

[doorbell dings]

That must be my date, Coco.

Hey, hey..

Somebody better open up a window up in here

'cause this is about to get real real hot.

'Cause Coco is in the..

Hi, I'm Coco.

Hey, I said I'm Coco, sugar.

Hell, no. You must beloco.

What are y'all starin' at? Mind your business.

Y'all keep on partying.

Uh...y-you don't look like

the ad in the...paper.

I know.

- You know that's lyin'? - I know.

Hey, hey, hey.

How you doin'?

Hey, everybody. ?Hey, gather around.

Let's meet Shawn's date.

Hi, I'm, uh, Coco Frost.

(all) What's happening?

Nice to meet you, Coco.

So how long have you and Shawn known each other?

Oh, we go way back.

Ain't that right, sugar?

Hi, hi, hi.

Not that far back.

So, butterscotch

do you wanna dance, huh?

Or should we head straight for the bedroom

so I can give you the massage of your life?

Marlon, help me.

I'll get the oils.

[instrumental music]

- 'Look, Coco.' - Hmm?

How can I say this nicely? You got to go home.

I mean, this is obviously some kind of big mistake.

Uh-huh, I'm not goin' anywhere.

See, you pay for the time.

So I got a whole evenin' to burn.

You got a whole lotta calories to burn too.

Oh, you got a problem with Coco?

Yeah, I got a problem with Coco.

So what's the problem?

[groans]

You're hurtin' me.

Now, listen to this part.

I took a shower for this.

I am stayin'

and you might as well like it.

You're cutting off my circulation, Coco.

I can't hear you, what did you say, baby?

You're cutting off my circulation.

Oh, I'm sorry.

♪ Party ♪♪

Anybody in here seen Pops?

Hey, Maurice.

Come on and join the party.

I followed you over here, you backstabber.

I knew you'd be here sniffin' around Dee.

What the hell you talkin' about?

Don't play dumb, you old dog.

You gave Dee them flowers and that love note

knowing I'm the one who's sweet on her.

You, Maurice?

Hold on a second, booger.

Look here, pop was only tryin' to help you out.

Looks to me like he was tryin' to help himself out.

Now, get out there in the hall so I can

whack your head like a coconut.

Oh, boys , boys, please.

- Don't fight over me. - Don't stop me.

I gotta protect the honor of the woman I love.

Oh, well, if you insist.

Come on. Come on.

I'll float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.

Come here. Your head belongs to me.

Ooh, all this fightin' is turning me on.

What do you say we just skip the massage

and do a little wrestlin' of our own?

Look, hot wings.

Where?

(Pops) '...Lord have mercy.'

[horn honking]

- 'Ow!' - Ooh.

My bad.

Man, Valentine's Day sucks.

You just figured that out?

Claire?

What are you doin' up here?

Waitin' for the party to end.

Well, believe me it's over.

You better hurry up downstairs and get your flowers

before Coco eats 'em.

Well, I guess your Valentine's Day

didn't turn out the way you planned it, uh?

Man, Valentine's ain't nothin' but a scam.

I know. You can't force anybody to be romantic.

That's what I'm saying. I mean, it should come natural.

Hmm.

You know, just because it's Valentine's Day

and it's a full moon..

And the stars have never been brighter in the sky.

A man stands alone..

...with a beautiful woman.

And they find themselves standing close to each other.

[Faith Evans singing "Don't Be Afraid"]

And nobody else around.

Only the sound of their breathing.

Palms sweating.

And they look into each other's eyes.

Don't mean nothin'.

♪ Don't be afraid of ♪

♪ Afraid of my love.. ♪

Nothin' at all.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Same to you.

♪ But I slowly feel myself ♪

♪ Fallin' in love again ♪

♪ And I want to give you more ♪

♪ Of what I have inside ♪

♪ But if I open up to you ♪

♪ Baby you got to love me too ♪

♪ Every time I think about ♪

♪ The time we spend together baby.. ♪

[laughing]

You better stop talkin' like that, sugar dumplings.

You know what happened last time.

[laughing]

I'll tell you what, I'll be home as quick as I can.

Don't bother to turn on the electric blanket.

Alright, sugar dumpling, bye-bye.

[kisses]

♪ Boy you can't.. ♪

[groans]

[laughing]

Lover boy.

Yitadee.

♪ Don't be afraid ♪ ♪ Afraid ♪

♪ Afraid of my love ♪♪

Yo, kid. That party was slammin'.

Probably the best one we've thrown yet.

Yeah. It was pretty fat. What time did it end?

I don't know. Everybody cleared out about 2 o'clock.

Almost everybody.

Can a brother have a little privacy, please?

Oh, and, Shawn, you owe me $200.

- Ooh. - Don't worry, homie.

It's the best 200 you ever spent.

(Shawn) Look up, Marlon, say cheese.